Original subtitles

Good times! Anytime you need a payment. Good times!

Anytime you need a free.

Good times!

Anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head above water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs.

Good times!

Now for the conclusion of J .J.'s new career.

All right, J .J., get out of my room now. I got to get dressed, too, you

In a minute, Thelma.

Look, you've been in there an hour already.

How long does it take to cover those bones?

Relax, Thelma.

J .J.'s new job is very important to him.

He's only trying to look good.

Ma, I got no time for miracles.

Selma, here's your makeup. Put it on out there.

Oh, that's great. And what am I supposed to put it on with?

Very cute.

Hey, hey, get out of my room.

If you'd leave him alone, he'll get out sooner.

He just can't put on any old clothes to go to work in an advertising agency.

Why not? He only works in the art department. Oh, Selma, you should be

J .J.

He's turned out to be the biggest breadwinner of us all.

Yeah, and he'll never let us forget it.

Well, well, well.

Just putting the finishing touches on the finishing touches.

Yeah, just look at him. Tall, tan, and tacky.

What you know about clothes, I have you know this is the style of the future.

Oh, if you're talking about science fiction, you're right.

Hey, that must be a new international look. This happens to be my

ensemble, combined here with the tasteful understatement of the English,

elegant flair of the French, and the electric boogie down of Harlem.

Oh, J .J., you look absolutely beautiful.

Say that again, Maude. and the truth shall set you free.

My son, the big businessman.

Well, let's face it, Ma.

Some people got it, and some people ain't got it.

And some people are full of it.

I'll tell my dad, too. Now, what do you want for breakfast, AJ?

Oh, nothing, Ma. I got a high -level business lunch today, and I want to save

room for the Egg McMuffin.

Michael, my attaché case, please.

Hey, J .J., this is a beauty, man.

It sure is, but it looks expensive.

Is that real leather?

Let me put it to you this way, Mom. If it was any more real, you'd have to milk

it. Moo.

J .J., you'd better be careful how much money you're spending.

Don't worry, Mom. I got a good job.

Yeah, it's almost too good.

They sure are paying you a lot of money for somebody with no experience.

Uh, well, uh...

I guess we're getting a little late here, Ma. Are you ready to go?

Oh, sure.

I'd like to show you off to them women at the bus stop.

Well, well, well.

Let's get on our way then.

Shall we? Okay.

Well, as we say in the ad game, let's put it on the bus and see if it gets off

at the loop.

35 bucks on solid greens to win.

Right? Right. You got it. Later.

Hey, man, now count to 50. Hey, what a pleasure, what a pleasure. One general

grant, two general grants, three general grants.

George, what you doing in here?

You know, it takes 50 of you to make one general grant.

No wonder you could only afford wooden teeth.

Hey, Ernie, we got close to $3 ,800 here.

Hey, Leon, I know what we're doing is illegal, but it ain't that bad, is it?

course not. I mean, we don't hurt anybody.

I mean, the state runs lotteries, don't they? And that's gambling, so I can't

wait. Hey, that's what free enterprise is all about.

Leon, it's almost 3 o 'clock, man. We got to split.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I forgot.

Hey, JJ, we got to go talk to a few policy runners.

You think you can handle the phones?

Does Jimmy Carter have teeth?

We'll be back as soon as we can, huh? All right.

Let's go, Liam. Have no fear.

Wherever you go, Brother Jay shall come through, win, place, or show. All right.

Take a slip. Okay, lay down.

Well, well, well.

Alone at last.

Boy, with this high power in here, this is something else.

Feet, enjoy yourself.

Ah, telephono.

Yellow.

Yeah, $20 on Steel Beauty.

Yeah, he's a long shot, all right.

He ain't even in the race.

Yeah, he's been scratched.

Gotcha. On the nose.

Yellow?

Yeah. Fifty bucks on Yellow Angel?

Yeah.

Oh, definitely.

He goes off at ten to one.

Yeah, that's too bad, because the other horses leave at a quarter to one.

Watch the button.

Pick it up on Thursday.

Wait a minute.

These horses ain't in the race.

No, man, this ain't Wong Long Fast Chinese Hand Laundry.

Hold it right there. This is a bust.

A bust?

Don't you play dumb with me up against the wall.

Spread them.

You got the wrong man.

And you got the wrong cook. When was the last time you ate?

Yeah, and Oprah is putting on a great act, too.

But I'm telling you, I ain't never been in this apartment before in my life.

Then what are you doing here now?

I was making delivery for a takeout joint.

In a suit?

It's a very fancy joint.

Even unless it's a telephone number.

Nobody here wears the food.

I ate it.

And that's when you took your shoes off? Had to.

Japanese restaurant.

have to be a total imbecile to believe that story.

It would help.

You can call a tap dancing stick, man.

I've got you nailed for gambling. Fact is, this might be a bigger call than I

thought.

Weren't you hooked up with Bubba Jones' floating crap game?

Wait a minute. I don't even know any Bubba Jones.

And I haven't voted nothing since my rubber duck drowned.

I know. I've seen your face before.

That's it. The armored car job in 63.

63? I was only seven years old then.

Started young, huh?

I want to talk to Kojak.

Wait a minute.

I've got it.

Boy, have I got it. This is going to make me chief of police.

Now I know what you did.

What did I do?

Where were you the night they broke into Watergate?

Watergate?

Fridge, you gotta stop. I can't stand anymore.

Fridge, you know him? He's a friend, man. You've been put on.

But he had a badge.

It was real.

Ah, but he's in our pocket.

Well,

I knew it was a joke all the time.

Look here, JJ.

We've had a pretty big week this week, you know, and you've been a good brother

about this whole thing. So why don't you take this little bonus here and go on

home? Well, it ain't hardly little, but I'll take it.

Do you guys think you can handle the operation without me around?

Well, we'll try.

All right, then. Cherry ho.

Okay.

Hey, speaking of bonuses.

I think it's time for your weekly contribution to my personal benevolent

association. Always glad to contribute.

Hey, this bread was okay when you guys were just into gambling.

But now that you're into chicks and dope, too.

I feel benevolent already.

Hey, this new kid, he doesn't know about the heavy stuff, does he? Jojo? Yeah.

He just thinks we're into gambling.

Don't let him sniff too close.

Right.

Later.

Al!

Ho, ho, ho, and Merry Christmas from your Ebony Santa Claus.

Here you go, Michael.

Hey, J .J., what's this?

Just open it, man. Here you go, Thelma. Oh!

And don't worry, Ma.

Yours is on the way.

J .J., what's going on?

Hey, Ma, is it against the law for a man to buy presents for his loved ones? Or

Thelma?

Hey, this is just like Christmas.

Oh, my, look, a clock radio.

Yeah, Thomas A .M. and F .M. And I got it with that special shatterproof glass,

since your face is going to be the first thing it sees in the morning.

Oh, wow, the Encyclopedia of Black History.

Yeah, Michael, from A to Z.

From Hank Aaron to the Zulus.

Hey, thanks, J .J.

Yeah, thank you, J .J.

Hey, it ain't no big deal. I got to go wash up, so enjoy.

Enjoy. Hey, Thelma, let me see your clock.

Hey, Ma, you don't seem very excited about all this.

Well, I'm just a little bit worried, Thelma.

I mean, where is J .J. getting all this cash?

Oh, what am I saying?

He's a talented boy, and that talent is worth a lot to somebody.

But nobody starts off in business making that much money.

Oh, they probably gave him a big cash advance.

But why in the world would they do that?

Oh, I don't know why and what's the difference.

J .J. is working hard. He's my son and I trust him.

I got it.

Yeah, Mr. Florida Evans?

Yeah. Yeah, I have a present here from Mr. J .J. Evans.

What?

Oh,

Mom, look at this.

Hey, Mom, this is out of sight.

Well, well, well.

I see you finally got here.

You know, Mom, this is the best set in the whole store. It's got that special

remote control.

You can change channels in the living room while you're changing clothes in

bedroom.

All right, JJ.

Where the devil did you really get all this money?

What? You heard what I said.

Like I said, Ma, from my advertising job.

And that's all you said.

Now, what's your company's name?

Name?

Company's name? Yes, yes.

What do they have on your paycheck?

In God we trust. I get paid in cash.

Advertising company with no name?

Who are your clients?

Well, we get a lot of calls from animal lovers.

JJ, quit stalling. Are you doing something illegal?

That's not what you think. All I do is take a couple of bets on horses and

numbers. That's all?

That's all?

That makes you nothing more than a common hoodlum.

JJ, I don't understand you.

Michael, we needed the money. I had to do it.

Had to do it.

A lot of people out of work don't go into crime.

They just keep trying.

Come on, Ma, let's face it. If they did a TV show about our family, they'd call

it Poor Man, Poor Man.

Ma, it's my fault, too.

J .J. did it so I wouldn't have to quit school or go to work.

Quit school?

Thelma, I'd take four jobs before I let that happen.

And I still wouldn't take a dime of your dirty money.

Dirty money? Ma, everybody gambles. Life is a gamble. That's right, and right

now, yours sure is.

Ma, people have always gambled, and they always will. It's the world's second

oldest profession.

What's the oldest?

You're too young to know.

Oh, that.

Let's look at it this way. I'm just providing a public service for all those

poor, unfortunate people who can't get out to the races.

I bring the track to them. Everything except the smell.

What about the smell of those hoodlums you hang around with?

JJ, you should know better than that.

Don't you know that gambling pays for everything in organized crime from

prostitution to drugs?

A part of every dollar you take in goes into some child's veins.

Oh, come on, Ma.

We're just a small -time operation.

I ain't the Godfather.

What we do is just a little illegal.

There's no such thing as little illegal.

It's just like being a little pregnant.

Peggy, think about what you're doing to the black community.

Gambling is a terrible image.

Oh, yeah, Michael?

Well, I think four people living in a two -bedroom apartment paying tomorrow's

prices for yesterday's food is a worse image.

There are two roads out of the ghetto.

So far, we have managed to stay on the right road.

And that's what's taking us so long to get out of here.

Look, Ma, name me one dude in the projects who got a future that ain't in

racket. You, because you just resigned.

Oh, no, Ma, it's my way out, and I'm going to take it.

Then you can start by getting out of here. Oh, now, come on, Ma, you're not

being... Ma, let's be reasonable. And take these things with you. Ma... You

haven't even been... JJ, get the hell out of my house!

Here's your breakfast.

Mom, maybe I should make the breakfast this morning.

What's the matter?

Don't you like the way I make oatmeal?

You got any complaints?

No, Ma. I like mine dry.

Oh, Ma. We just can't keep on living like this. Ever since JJ left, Ma, well,

you've been grouchy.

Grouchy?

Have I been grouchy?

I haven't noticed a thing.

Ma, why don't you see JJ or at least talk to him?

Not as...

about JJ.

Well, I tell you, I've never seen Mama this mad before.

Yeah, how about last night when she yelled at me for a half hour? That ain't

nothing. She yelled at me for a whole hour.

Come on. For not paying attention while she was yelling at you.

I'll get it.

Well, something's gotta change.

JJ! Is the coast clear? Yeah, man. Come on in.

too how's mom not too good yeah i tried calling but she wouldn't talk to me oh

jj why don't you give it up and come on home well look what i got for y 'all top

round bottom of the round and the eye around for the next month y 'all gonna

drowned in round jj now you know mama won't let us keep anything you bought

can't you hide it in the freezer jj you know our freezer that's like trying to

hide rosie gree in a shoebox

Anthony, why don't you come home?

Yeah, man, we need you.

Hey, Thelma, it's only until Ma comes around, and then we can all get out of

here together.

Ma's not going to come around, and you know that.

Hey, Thelma, you know I don't like doing this any more than y 'all do, but we

got to live.

J .J., we living now.

What you doing is just for yourself.

Hey, Michael, it's only until I get out on my own.

What's wrong with that?

Well, uh...

I guess I better be going then.

J .J., so even though we don't agree with what you're doing, you know we

love you, right?

Hey, that goes without saying, you know.

But it's nice to hear anyway.

Where's the Spinner's new album at? Oh, I was listening to it in my bedroom.

You've got a stereo in your bedroom, too?

I was standing equipment with my heart -shaped waterbed.

JJ, I never seen your heart -shaped bed before. Yeah, neither has any other

chick JJ's brought up here.

Saving it all for you, Mama. Saving it all for you. I'll get it. I'll get it.

I'll get it.

Hello.

You know, JJ,

I don't know anybody that lives this good.

You're about the most important person I've ever met.

Have you ever met Isaac Hayes? Uh -uh.

Well, then, maybe I am.

Right, right.

Okay, girls, come on. The party's over. Let's go. Get this stuff. Come on, baby.

Hurry up. The party's over.

Come on, baby. We got to go.

Wait a minute. JJ!

I was Fred, man. We're getting busted tonight. Now, Leon, you know what to do.

Hey, you ain't gonna fool me with this phony bus business again. Look, this

ain't no joke. Here, get rid of that.

You ain't gonna fool me with no little water pistol either. Because this is a

real gun. You can open it up and you see bullets.

You ain't shopping.

I told you I wasn't. This is a real bus. Now you believe me?

Yeah. Bye.

Where are you going?

Well, ever since I was a kid, I've been allergic to two things.

Chocolate and getting killed.

You'll split when you do. Now here, get rid of that.

I don't know how to get rid of no gun. Throw it out the window.

He meant an open window.

Well, it's open now.

Take that and dump it down the disposal.

Wait a minute. What is this stuff? A drain cleaner.

No, it's not.

It's dope. You guys never told me you were into dope. Well, now you know.

So dump it.

I want you to know I'm dumping on a protest.

We gotta get out of here.

We don't know what kind of time we've got. Just keep cool. I'm almost done.

Bye, Anthony.

No, if anything was here, it's gone now.

All right, let's get out of here.

Yes, JJ?

I want to come home.

It's your home, son.

Thanks, Mom.

Good times. Good times. Keeping your head above water.

Making a wave when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times.

Good times is videotape in front of a studio audience.

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