Original subtitles

Good times, any time you need a payment, good times, any time you need a free,

good times, any time you have a munder, not getting hassled, not getting

hustled, keeping your head up above water,

making a way when you can, temporary layoffs, good times.

present for Ma and Dad.

An electric blanket!

The 20th anniversary is Chinese. You're supposed to get them something in China.

How about a Chinese electric blanket?

Oh, JJ, I never heard of no Chinese electric blanket.

Yeah, that's one that warms the bed and fries the egg rolls at the same time.

I tell you, Michael, when it comes to jive, JJ is the best alive.

And I tell you, JJ, when it comes to food,

I know. She's been giving me lessons. She taught me everything she knows.

You're a good student, Michael, but let's get serious now. The anniversary

Sunday, and like I said, the thing to get is China.

Now, I saw this beautiful serving dish at Sears. The only question is, do we

have enough?

It costs $12.

Hey, well, I've got $3 saved up. And I've got six.

dollar shot JJ don't give us that routine about being short yeah you've

got some cash stashed away someplace I don't I swear

my surprise.

I was saving that money for paints.

I was going to paint a portrait of Ma and Dad as my own personal present to

them. Oh, I'm sorry, JJ.

Yeah, me too.

Well, in honor of Ma and Dad, I will humbly accept your apologies.

And besides painting a portrait of them, I also made up a greeting card.

slogan to put on it what's that our love for you is out of sight that

comes from thelma michael and kid dynamite

okay

jj michael and i'll buy the china serving dish we'll get the money somehow

we will uh -oh if that's more let's not blow our surprise okay

Hi, children.

Hi, Mom.

What's going on?

Nothing's going on, Mom.

Oh, I think I get the vibes.

You kids are plotting to buy your daddy and me an anniversary present, but I

just want you to know that is not necessary.

But, Mama, this is a special anniversary.

We want to. I know you do, but you worked hard for whatever you got saved

and your daddy and me don't want you spending it on any presents. Oh, Mom.

Really, really, children.

You three are the best present we could have. And you're looking at the pilot

that started the series.

So listen now, all of you, forget about the present. And JJ,

you can keep that money in your sock.

You know about my secret hiding place, too?

Happy anniversary to me. Happy anniversary to you.

We got the miles on us, baby, but we're still good as new.

We're standing a huge call out of love.

And in 20 years, we only turned out one clunker.

Now, James, you know you don't mean that. Just jiving, Junior, just jiving.

Speaking of our three musketeers here, do you know they were getting ready to

spend their money to buy us an anniversary present?

Hmm, you mean Junior was getting ready to dip into her sock again.

I got a feeling my sock is listed in the yellow pages.

Well, look, much as I appreciate what your kids was going to do, it ain't

necessary, because I'm fixing to give your mother the best anniversary present

she could ever have. What's that, James? Me.

Hey, baby, you're going to have two whole days of uninterrupted me.

Joking about.

Baby, I hold here in my hands the keys to paradise.

Remember me telling you about my friend Charlie the foreman? Yeah. Well, Charlie

owns this cabin up by the lake. I told him about our anniversary, and he's

offered to lend it to us for the weekend.

Oh, that sounds so romantic. Yeah.

When are we all going?

Well, I know it'll be just like a second honeymoon.

You know, Charlie's a bachelor. He's got it all set up for romance.

It'll be some weekend, baby.

What's the matter? I told you about it, but you don't seem to go for the idea

too much. Oh, I do, James. It's a wonderful idea, but you... Well... But

Well, it's just that we never left the kids alone for two whole days. Oh, now,

come on, Florida. Look at them. They ain't kids no more. They old enough to

care of themselves.

You can have them. You and Dad deserve a couple of days alone by yourself.

Now, see that? They ain't worried about it. Why you gonna be worried about it?

Okay, I guess you're right. It is a wonderful idea.

Two whole days, just me and you.

All alone.

Well, looks like they're getting started early.

Michael, let's go finish that checker game we had going in the bedroom.

Hey, good idea, JJ.

I've got all four kings, and all you've got is one little lonely checker trapped

in a corner. You haven't got a chance.

That's what he thinks.

While he wasn't looking, I painted on some more squares.

Well, I better go referee.

Hi, y 'all.

Table on.

For your groovy dude, your foxy chick, you've been married for 20 long years.

How did you make your stick?

Oh, well... 20 years.

Honey, I'll be celebrating my 20th. I came that...

Huh?

Eighteen and a half more years than I would have made.

Although our marriage only lasted a couple of innings, honey, that man sure

he was in a ball game.

You'll catch yourself a husband someday.

Honey, I hope not.

I'm having too much fun looking.

I didn't come here to talk about me. I came to bring you some anniversary

goodies. For he.

Thank you. For he. Have a happy.

Come on, open it.

All right.

Because they're beautiful.

Now, the 20th is China, right? Yeah. You are now the Honorable Mr.

and Mrs. Egg Fuya.

Most grateful thanks.

Hey, James, this will be perfect for the cabin.

I'm sure.

Cabin? Did I hear you say cabin?

Yeah.

Mrs. Foreman is going to let us use this cabin over the weekend to celebrate our

anniversary. Oh, China!

Now, when you get there, get the lights down low, get the fireplace going, slip

into those robes, go in your neutral corners and come out loving.

For breakfast tomorrow morning, there's oatmeal and eggs. And for lunch today,

there's going to be fried chicken. I stayed up late last night making it.

Ma, I wouldn't count on that fried chicken if I was you.

I stayed up later last night and ate.

That's just great.

Now you don't have anything for lunch.

Don't worry, Ma. You know I can always cook up something.

That still leaves us with no lunch.

All right, Michael.

Thelma, now if the plumbing gets stopped up, don't call it down. It'll take him

a week to get here. The plunger is right under the sink. Oh, let me make sure

it's under there. That's okay, Ma. I'll find it. And if I don't, I can always

use J .J. instead.

If the vacuum cleaner don't work, we can always use your mouth.

Hey, JJ, why don't you stop barking? All right, all right, children.

Now, I don't want any of that while we're gone. Promise?

Promise?

No.

No, Mom.

I'm putting you in charge of everything. Hey, Mom, how come she's in charge?

I'm the oldest.

Well, she knows more about running the house.

But, Mom, you need a man around the house to defend against lawless

Absolutely right, JJ.

Michael, I'm putting you in charge of security.

Move on. We don't want to miss that bus. All right, James.

Listen, Michael, they say it's going to turn real cold this weekend.

So if you go out to play basketball, I want you to dress real warm. You hear?

Yes, Mama. I want you to put on your hat.

Yes, Mama.

And your scarf.

Yes, Mama. And two pairs of socks. Yes, Mama. And your mittens. Yes, Mama. Maya,

I got shoe baskets with mittens on.

I don't know, but I was doing so good with Yes, Mama, I couldn't stop.

Come on, Flora. Let's go, huh? Okay, James. Bye, children.

Bye, Mom. Take care.

See you later, Mom.

I'll miss you. JJ, I want you to take care of everything.

We'll call you as soon as we get there. Bye -bye.

Oh, and there's money in the cookie jar in case of emergency. Okay, Mom. Bye

-bye. And be sure and keep the door locked and don't let no strangers in.

look, in case there's anything you can't get.

is recreate our honeymoon, baby. Yeah, but on our honeymoon, I only weighed

Yeah, he was just skinning bones in.

But you're just right now.

Just enough to feel my arms, but not too much to make my knees buckle. Oh, come

on, baby.

Hey.

Yeah, this is some place he got here, ain't it?

Boy, this cabin is everything Sally said it was, baby.

This is going to be some weekend.

Yeah. Honey.

Huh? You think the kids are going to be all right?

Oh, now, Florida, the kids are going to be fine.

Look, we're supposed to be Liz and Dick, not the Swiss family Robinson.

Well,

they left them a few hours ago.

Yeah, but you know how they are.

Yeah, and you know how I am, so let's get it on.

Boy, look at that, Charlie. Got logs in the fireplace.

Look here, baby, a bottle of champagne. That's for us.

Everything.

Look here.

Why don't you go flipping them Chinese robes that Walona gave us?

I'll get these logs going, and we can get real cozy, huh?

Uh -huh. What do you say to that, baby?

Uh -huh.

What's wrong? What you looking for?

Seems there's no phone.

Well, that's good.

That way, can't nobody bother.

No, but I promised the kids I'd call them as soon as we got here, let them

we were safe. Honey, I'm worried about them. Oh, now, Prada, stop worrying

the kids. Now we came up here to relax, get away from it all.

Remember?

It's you and me, baby.

You and me.

I guess you're right, James. You know I'm right. Give me some sugar.

Excuse me, honey.

Now, where are you going? I just remember there's a phone booth in that

station down the road. No, pardon me.

here, too.

Get up and get dressed and clean up this living room.

Says who?

Says me.

You heard Ma. She put me in charge.

I got news for you, Thelma. You just been un -in -charge.

From now on, I'm giving the orders around here.

What did you say?

That's right.

This was known as a military...

Michael, you're in charge of garbage detail.

And what are you going to do?

I'm going to rest up from all this military cooping.

Something tells me this weekend's going to be longer than I thought. No, it

ain't.

What's that, J .J.? Soft -boiled eggs.

Hey, Thelma, answer the phone.

You answer it. You're going in the country.

Boy, Thelma, you are definitely asking for a court -martial.

Your attitude is abominable.

vacation going?

Is it really?

He gave me the place for the weekend.

Oh, wow.

I'm supposed to meet him here. Isn't this the 17th?

No, it's the 10th. Really?

All day long.

Oh, shoot.

I am always so confused, you know. I post for calendars, but I never look at

those little numbers.

I thought you looked familiar. I seen your picture on Charlie's wall in his

office.

James Evans.

Oh, it is just a shame about this mix -up. You know, it took me three whole

hours to drive up here in all that snow.

Oh, that's a shame.

Oh, that fire sure looks good. Do you mind if I warm it up?

Think about that drive all the way back.

Yeah. Oh, this is just, just too cozy.

Yeah. What? You know something?

Huh?

You're a better looking dude than Charlie.

Oh, look here, Miss Jackson. Oh, you can call me Gloria.

I think it's only right that I tell you I'm a married man.

Oh, congratulations.

What I mean to say is that my phone call is down at the

white mix.

I mean, my wife is down at the phone booth making a call, and she'll be back

minute. Oh, well, that's the way it goes.

Don't worry, sugar. I'll split. Ooh, that fire. It's getting just a little

too low.

James.

I think you better do a little speaking to me.

You must be Mrs. Evans.

Yes.

Baby, this is...

December Jackson.

I mean, Gloria Jackson.

She's a friend of Charlie. She got the calendars.

I mean, the weekend's mixed up.

You ain't two to gather yourself, lover.

Well, I think I'll be going now. Oh, just thanks so much for the use of the

fire.

I'll just be getting on down the road and I'll just see you guys. Oh,

James.

You know, if you like, I'll stop by the office someday and autograph that

calendar.

one of them nature things.

Mountains.

Mountains and trees and all that kind of stuff, baby.

Yeah.

I saw you admiring the scenery.

Now, Florida, you know you're the only scenery I want to look at, baby.

She might have been Miss December, but you might count on the girl all year

long. Every year.

And this kid's getting better and better and better, baby.

You improve with age, too, lover. All right.

Now, how are kids doing?

Fine, just fine. See, didn't I tell you? Now, look, you march yourself right in

there. Put on that robe Walona gave you.

I'll pour some champagne, and we'll get this 20th anniversary on the road.

Now we are off and running.

fortune cookie.

Good, good, good.

Baby, you look beautiful.

Thank you.

Well, step up, Lotus Blossom.

The bar is now open.

Yeah, I kind of dig the bartender.

In that case, I have a drink with the customer.

Here's to 20 years, baby.

And they've all been good ones, James.

You even made the bad ones good ones.

These next two days gonna be the best of all who you tell

Just

looking out of the window watching

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