Original subtitles

Good time, anytime you need a payment. Good time, anytime you need a friend.

Good time, anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting hustled. Keeping your head up above

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good time.

Must you go for your food?

I can't help it, Ma. It's been so long since my stomach's tasted ham, it just

keeps saying to my mouth, don't bother chewing, just send it down!

Mama, can you cut me three more slices of ham?

Three more slices?

Yeah, I want to make a sandwich.

One slice of ham between two slices of ham.

One more slice of ham. How's that?

Thanks, Daddy. Oh, I feel sorry for rich people. You have to be poor to

appreciate a meal like this. I'm glad you all are enjoying it because there's

plenty of it. And for the rest of the week, you're going to be ham happy.

You're going to have ham hash, ham loaf, ham stew, and ham soup.

And just so you won't forget it, I'm going to bronze the bone.

I'll get it. No, I'll get it, Mike. You stay and eat that ham you wanted so bad.

And clean that plate, too.

Yeah? James Evans.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, don't you recognize me?

No, I can't say that I do.

Cartersville, Mississippi.

Harris, him and Fred Harris' son.

Very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Evans. It's my pleasure to meet you.

James has told me so much about you and your folks.

Ernie, these are my kids. That's my daughter Thelma. She's beautiful.

Yeah, my youngest son, Michael.

Oh, he's a handsome lad. And the one there with the ham is my oldest boy,

Junior. As you can see, I'm the one who got the beauty in the family rolling.

I see you didn't waste no time getting off the block.

Come on, help me clear the table. Okay, Mom.

So tell me, man, what brings you to Chicago?

Well, I'm just passing through on business, but I had to stop by and say

to my old partner.

Well, I sure am glad you did, man.

Well, how long has it been now?

No, what is it?

30 years since we were kids together.

Patches?

Patches. Well, you've got some memory.

Baby, in case you're wondering how I got the nickname Patches when I was a kid,

I was so poor I always had to wear patches on my pants.

I thought where you lived...

The kids want patches on their pants. Yeah, but, baby, I had patches on my

patches.

I never realized things were that bad, Daddy.

Yeah, see, baby girl, my folks were sharecroppers. We did all the cropping

the landlords did all the sharing.

It was evil times.

Big depression.

A lot of folks out of work. Folks waiting in the relief line.

It's almost as bad as 1975.

I'll tell you, if it hadn't been for Ernest's folks here, we never would have

made it through that year.

See, they had a little grocery store and they used to let us have all the food

we needed on credit. Told them we could pay them back whenever we got the money.

Things sure are different today.

When you go to the market now, not only do they not give you credit, but if you

don't grab a can fast enough, they stamp your hand with a higher price.

Right on that, baby.

Well, Ernie, you sure had some good folks.

I was sorry to hear that they passed on, man. Yeah, but they had a good life.

Look here, we sitting here fat -mouthing, man. I bet you hungry.

Babe, why don't you cut Ernie a piece of that ham? Oh, sure, James.

I don't want to be any bother now. Oh, it's no bother at all.

Come on over here and get you something to eat. Well, if you say so.

There goes Hash Monday.

Maybe you ate the ham.

Maybe he's Jewish.

Give Ernie a can of beer, will you? Sure, Daddy.

That was lucky. For a minute there, I thought he was going to cut into my Kool

-Aid supply.

Oh, J .D., you're always thinking of yourself.

Can you think of a better person?

Here you go.

Thanks, Michael.

Here you are, Ernie.

Thank you.

Well, Ernie, I guess you took over your folk store, huh? Yeah, for a little

while, but a little old country business like that wasn't for me. I wanted to

move into something bigger, you know? So, well, I sold it.

From the way you're dressed, I'd say you made the right move.

Ooh, I love that ring, Mr. Harris. It's beautiful.

Oh, do you now? Well, I tell you, it's a rare opal. First stone of October.

October? Look like the whole 12 months.

Yeah, he looks just fine, man.

So what kind of work are you doing now, anyhow?

I'm in public relations.

What's public relations?

Well, that's when you, uh, relate to the public, Michael.

Like, uh...

When them big oil companies raised their prices and the public got angry, said

they had to spend a lot of extra money on public relations to smooth things

over. Where'd they get the extra money?

They raised the prices again.

Well, that's all part of the game.

You see, I represent all kinds of clients, companies, people.

It's my job to help their image, you know?

How much would you charge for J .J.?

You're going to have to forgive them. This is just brotherly and sisterly

Yeah. JJ?

Yeah. Come on.

You got a wife now, kids?

No, no, I'm not the mayor in kind.

Besides, my business keeps me traveling too much. Huh? Oh, hey, listen, I'm

sorry. I hate to eat and run, but I got a busy day tomorrow. I got a lot of

clients to check in, and I've got to check into a hotel.

It's very nice meeting all of you in Florida.

That ham. Oh, it was delicious.

Hey, look here, Ernie.

I know you can afford to check in any fancy hotel in town, man, but we'd sure

appreciate it if you'd stay with us.

Wouldn't we, baby?

Oh, you'd be more than welcome.

I wouldn't want to put you in that trouble.

Trouble? After what your folks did for me and my family? Wait a minute, man. I

want to show you something. I bet you ain't never seen these before.

Since we got married, your folks give them the...

Me and Florida's a wedding gift.

It's the only silver we ever own.

And we are so proud of it that we only use it for special occasions.

Yeah, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and O .J.

Simpson's birthday.

Well, now you can see how we feel about you wanting to stay with us, son. Yeah,

well, I appreciate it, brother, but I'd be inconveniencing you. Oh, it's no

trouble at all. Listen.

one more sardine ain't gonna bust the can.

That's right. Now, Florida can move in with Thelma. I can flop on the couch

the boys, and you can take our room. That's right. No trouble at all.

Well, you see, I am messing you up. No, you ain't mine.

Yes, you are.

Did you say something, Junior?

Uh, what I said was, uh, welcome to our bed, Dad.

That's what I thought you said.

I thought you two would

never stop telling stories.

Well, it was a lot to remember, baby.

Boy, that Ernie's something else, ain't he?

I bet you his folks sure would be proud of him if they could see him now.

James, I just thought of something.

You know, this is the first time since we were married we won't be sleeping

together in the same bed.

Hey, you're right.

Look here.

I got an idea.

Why don't we take Ernie's bag and check into a motel tonight?

Easy, lover boy. You know what they say.

Absence make the heart grow fonder. Yeah?

Well, I don't need no absence. I'm feeling fond right now.

Well, I don't want you to start me feeling fond, too.

Good night, Miss Evans.

Good night, Miss Evans.

Good night.

Andy, I thought you'd gone to bed.

I wish I could, but I gotta go out and meet a client. This time of night?

Well, that's public relations for you. You know, you gotta keep working at it

night and day, huh?

Well, good night. Hey, Ernie. You better take this key with you, man, since

you're gonna be coming in late. Oh, hey, thanks, man. I didn't even think about

that. I'll see you all in the morning. All right.

It's an awful strange time to be doing business.

Well, you know, he's a big executive, baby. Them big executives don't be

punching no time clocks.

I bet you President Ford and his economic commission meet late at night

time. Yeah, that's so nobody else hear them crying.

Good night, James.

Good night, baby.

Michael, what is keeping your brother in that bathroom so long? He's looking in

the mirror. He hates to say goodbye to himself.

Junior, bring your narrow butt on out here and come on to bed.

Well, Dad, looks like you're all set for tonight because you're sharing... the

sack with kid dynamite

junior

are you gonna ever go to bed just one time without wearing that dumb hat can't

do it dad just in case i go sleepwalking one night meet some groovy chick i want

something to tip to her

I'm used to sleeping on the left -hand side.

Over and under, son.

Ah, boy.

Hey,

do I have to sleep in the middle? I'm liable to get stabbed to death with J

.J.'s bony elbow.

I'm used to sleeping next to Michael.

All right, Junior Chef.

And

wait

a minute.

Now I'm in the middle.

See,

we're running a wishbone formation, and tonight you...

Ain't you going to say your prayers?

Johnny, if I had said my prayers, I swear you wouldn't be here right now.

Good night,

Daddy. Good night, son.

Good night, Johnny.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, Michael. Good night, JJ.

Good night, John boy.

I don't want no more hustling around in here.

I'm going to say this one time and I ain't going to say it no more. I don't

to hear another sound in here except my own snoring.

Now, good night.

Good night, Michael.

Don't y 'all start that mess again here.

I mean that.

Well, now, who could that be this time of night?

It's probably Ned DeWine who got lost on the way to his apartment.

Get up and see if you can push him in the right direction, Junior.

And what y 'all want here?

We're looking for Ernie Harris.

What y 'all want with Ernie Harris?

Some friends of ours in Cleveland would like us to get in touch with him.

You see, Ernie rolled a cold dice.

He got into him for $5 ,000.

Split. And we all thought of a collection agency.

Uh...

the collection plate?

You hear that Ernie might be in this neighborhood.

Oh, no, man. Ernie ain't been around here. Somebody must have gave you all a

steer. Oh, you don't have to worry about Ernie. He can pay you all back easy.

He's a big -time public relations man.

Y 'all didn't see that ring you got on? Shut up!

Why did you have to lie?

on his way.

Besides, what would he want to hang around here for? Yeah.

If that's your story, we won't hassle you, man.

Look, if you happen to see Ernie Harris, you tell him if he don't come up with

the cash, the big public relations man is going to have a nice private funeral.

I feel real good about Ernie, too.

Damn, that's about two evil -looking dudes, wasn't it, Junior?

Yeah. I tell you, Ernie ain't exactly in the friendly hands of all states.

Look, when we go back in the house, don't you breathe a word of this to

I don't want the family getting upset about this mess.

You don't have to worry about me, Dad. I'm frightened enough for everybody.

Hey, Patches, what are you still doing up?

I thought we might have us a little talk this morning, Ernie. Oh, man, couldn't

it wait?

It's almost 4 o 'clock in the morning.

Well, you must have really got wiped out, huh?

I see you done even lost your ring.

How you manage to do that, trying to make an eight the hard way?

It was a six.

All right, all right. So I was playing a little friendly game of crap. What's

wrong with that?

Nothing, except that you had two unfriendly callers tonight.

Something about you leaving a bookie in Cleveland holding $5 ,000.

I'll take care of that. It's my problem. Uh -uh. It's my problem now, Ernie.

See, I got a family. I can't have no hoodlums coming to my door.

You didn't just happen to drop into the neighborhood. You was looking to use my

place as a hideout. Oh, come on, Patches. No, man. Listen, I had to hide

here. Man, they were getting close.

Besides, our family were friends.

Well, man, now you know I love your mother and father, man, but I can't have

this. Now you get yourself some rest and you clear out of here first thing in

the morning.

Okay. And I'll tell you something. You better be stepping fast, brother.

Them cats said if they catch up with you, you're going to be polluting Lake

Michigan.

Yeah, they ain't going to kill me for no five Gs.

Ten, yeah.

But for five, they just break your arm.

Yeah, I know.

This one never did set right.

Lord have mercy.

I'm going to be going shopping this morning.

I wonder what Ernie would like for dinner.

Ernie ain't going to be staying for dinner, babe. As soon as he gets up,

going to be leaving town.

I thought... He was gonna be here for a few days. Didn't you say... I thought I

spoke to him late last night and he said something came up and he got to leave

town. Yeah, for his health.

His health?

He looks the picture of health to me.

Yeah, but he don't want no holes in the picture.

What are you talking about, J .J.? Nothing.

He ain't talking about nothing. You know something, Junior?

Your mouth starts working early, but I swear your brain don't start till 10 o

'clock.

Then it goes right back to sleep a minute later. You got some nerve going

there. You ain't, you ain't... All right, now, that is enough.

I'm sick and tired of these cat and dog fights.

James, why are you so upset? What's wrong? Nothing, baby, nothing.

Well, you sure make it sound like something. Quit bugging me now. I said

nothing. Well, then you stop yelling.

Boy, do they get in bad moods when they don't sleep together.

Now, how would you like some strap with that oatmeal?

Let's have some quiet and eat. Stop all this yapping.

Morning, everybody.

Speaking of yapping, you come to head yapper.

Can't you two ever have a pleasant hello for one another?

I'm willing.

Hello, James.

Hello, Alona.

I'm going to have the envelope. I want to see which one of us just won the

Academy Award.

Would you like some coffee, Alona?

Thanks, honey. I came over to ask if I could borrow something.

That figures.

Uh, Milano, what is it you want to borrow?

Well, I'm giving a special dinner party for my boss and his wife tonight. Oh.

And I want everything to look just fine, so could I borrow your silver salt and

pepper shaker? Oh, sure.

Oh, Flo, that's wonderful. It would be the perfect touch. I have a linen

tablecloth with matching napkins, elegant candlesticks, crystal -cut

and a bowl of flowers for the center.

Ah, that sounds fancy.

What are you serving?

Pizza.

I see other than chicken delight.

Well, serve them a lot of wine beforehand, and then they'll like

serve them. Okay.

Well, Honor, whatever you do, guard this with your life, huh? Don't worry,

honey. Oh, and you don't need to bother about polishing. I already did that,

see?

Oh, no. Mom, what's the matter, Mom?

What is it? They're gone.

What do you mean they're gone?

They're not here, James. I don't understand.

I understand it. We've been ripped off.

Could you have misplaced them anywhere?

No.

Baby, I feel so sorry about this.

Look, I'll go down and see if I can find a policeman.

This might be one of their visiting days in the neighborhood.

Oh, James.

This is the only valuable thing we ever own.

Oh, Ma, don't feel bad.

Maybe it'll turn up.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Well, listen, I hate to just run off like this, but I gotta catch an early

plane. You mean an early pawn shop, don't you?

James, what are you saying?

Ernie, them silver salt and pepper shakers I showed you yesterday, you

happen to find them around here nowhere, did you?

No, no, of course not. Well, I got to get moving that plane. Now, wait a

Wait a minute. James, what are you doing? I know what I'm doing.

Come in here, eat my ham, sleep in my bed. Oh, no.

Yeah, and then steal from me.

Yeah, baby, he was going to hock him.

A successful businessman like you. I don't understand that, Ernie. Yeah.

Well, baby, it seems like our successful businessman ain't nothing but a

gambler.

Translation, loser.

Boy, Ernie, I knew you was sick, man, but I didn't think you stooped to

stealing.

Oh, come on, man. I wasn't stealing them. I was just borrowing them.

Oh, I could get at least $10 for them.

Hey, listen, I got a sure thing running in the fourth at all times. Yeah, it's

going to pay at least $8 to one.

Tell you what, I take that money, I put it on his nose. When it comes in, I can

parlay it. That way, I can get into that crap game.

Oh, come on, man. I know I... I can do it. I did it before.

Listen, you know what I did one time?

I took $5 and ran it into $20 ,000. Yeah?

How long did it take you to lose it back?

Half hour.

James is right. You are sick.

You don't have to gamble.

If you need a quick buck, have you ever considered going on a let's make a deal?

Hey, I don't know what kind of trouble you're in, but it seems to me that it's

no different than being hooked on alcohol or drugs.

Now, you need help.

And there are places that can do it, like Gamblers Anonymous. I don't need

because I don't have a gambling problem.

I'm as normal as any one of you.

Yeah, and would you knock it off with this lecturing? I mean, I got enough of

that from my wife.

I thought you said you weren't married.

Yeah, well, I got a wife, two kids, and she took them and left because she

didn't understand me either. Ernie, that store you said you sold, you didn't

sell it. You lost it gambling, didn't you?

Oh, man, I just had a bad streak.

That could happen to anybody.

Yeah, you're right.

I'll tell you what.

You want them?

Go ahead and take them.

No, no, no. It's all right. It's all right, babe. Now, you can see how much

mean to us.

But if gambling means that much to you, man, go ahead and take them, hock them,

pawn them, bet them on the ponies, anything you want. But you can be damn

of one thing. If you do walk out here with them, you're sick, right?

Sick.

No? Then stroll on out the door without them, Ernie.

Well, I'll get them back to you.

With interest.

Kids, I'm sorry y 'all had to see that, but then again, maybe it's a good thing

you did.

Maybe y 'all learned something about gambling from it.

I know I did.

Two to one, I'll never place a bet in my life.

Looking out of the window, watching the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks when we die.

Good times, good times, keeping your head up for water,

making a wave when you can.

Temporary layoffs, good times.

Good Times is recorded on tape before a live audience.

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