Original subtitles

Good time. Any time you need a payment. Good time. Any time you need a break.

Good time. Any time you're up and under.

Not getting hassled. Not getting hustled.

Keeping your head above water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs.

Good time.

Easy credit ripoffs.

Good time.

Scratching.

Clear side, man. I can't wait for the action tonight.

We're going to be on them wallahs like white all right. Yeah, man, we really

going to waste those chumps bad tonight.

Hey, you with us tonight, J .J.? Well, I would like to join you gentlemen in

this evening's activities, but unfortunately, you see, I have an

dental appointment.

My baby tooth is starting to cut through my gums.

She's right in there, all the pain.

Hey, man.

You trying to tell us you still got your baby teeth?

I can't help it if my body grew faster than my baby teeth.

Man, where you gonna find a dentist? Eight o 'clock on a Saturday night?

I don't know, but that's what makes it an emergency.

J .J., mad dog handed down the word.

Now, you've been a Satan's knight for three months now, and you copped out

time we was getting ready to go down.

You cop out tonight.

Instead of going to the dentist, you'll be able to mail in your teeth.

Since you put it that way, I can put my baby tooth a little further back on my

priority list.

Why are you talking, man? Because we need everybody we can get. Right on.

See, because when we get finished wiping out them warlords, Satan's Knights be

the baddest gang in Chicago.

Right on, man. We got to get them for last time, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They

a hurting on us last time.

Fifteen Satan's Knights stretched out and two dead. Yeah, two dead.

Two dead?

Well, see, I'm a Sagittarius, and my hospital case today is a bad day for

bleeding.

Cool the jive, J .J. You better be there.

Yeah, you better be there.

We'll be here to pick you up at 8 o 'clock.

And Mad Dog is gonna be with us.

And don't nobody say no to Mad Dog.

Keep on that for a while.

Hello, Mrs. Evans.

Hello, Mrs. Evans.

Hello there, Mrs.

Butara.

Why are you all standing in the hall?

J .J., why don't you invite your friends in?

Oh, you see, Mrs. Evans, we were just leaving. We came by to invite J .J.

A dance tonight. Yeah.

Oh, that's nice.

You boys have a nice time now. Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. Evans. We will.

Mrs. Evans. Bye, Mrs. Evans. Bye.

Bye. Well, goodbye.

Don't forget, J .J., 8 o 'clock.

And you better be ready, or your folks will need a program to know who you are.

What's wrong with you?

I've seen accident victims look happier than you do.

There's nothing to worry about.

He's probably trying to figure out which one of his girls he's going to take to

the dance tonight.

His friends just invited him.

You going to take Henrietta, son?

No, Dad, I ain't taking no girl.

You going stag?

Yeah, I expect to be doing a lot of staggering.

Now, J .J., there is... isn't going to be any drinking, is there?

No, Ma.

Just a lot of punch.

Oh, that's nice.

You go and get washed up for dinner.

Speaking of dinner, baby, what we got to eat tonight?

Lobster Newberg.

Huh? Translation, cornbread and greens.

We usually have some meat on Saturday night.

Well, I took one look at what they had in the meat market and I passed.

What was wrong with it?

It's okay if you like your meat a deep golden brown before it's cooked.

And the vegetables ain't no better.

The beets are bushed, the spinach is spent, and the brussels don't sprout.

But the prices sure do.

You know something, baby? The only thing keeping this country from going to the

dogs, the price of dog food.

Everything is out of line.

You know, I stopped in to get you a nice tie.

And I had to go as high as $1 .75.

Oh, now, Florida, what you give me a tie for, baby? I already got a tie.

The old stringy black tie you wear to funerals? Ain't none of them people they

buried complained about it.

Wow. But this is not a funeral we're going to.

It's not an ending. It's a beginning.

I still can't get over little Charlie McDaniel.

All grown up and opening his own law office. Yeah, doing it in style, too.

Giving a party for all the folks who knew him since he was a little bitty

That's why I wanted to get you a good -looking tie.

How do you like it?

Oh, that's fine, baby. Is that silk?

For $1 .75?

That ain't even minimum wages to a silkworm.

Yeah, this is real nice, baby. Thank you. Hey, what you wearing to the thing?

Well, I tried on my old cocktail dress and had to take it in a little at the

waist. I'm very happy to report I've gone down from a quart to a fifth.

What'd you say?

Well, I say you're still 100 proof and you still go to my head.

Hey, you ain't exactly a cool head yourself.

Michael, stop cheating now. I'm not cheating, Thelma.

What y 'all two doing?

What's it look like we're doing?

Playing Monopoly.

See, Michael, and you said he wouldn't be able to figure it out.

Thelma, you owe me for landing on Liberia.

Michael, I told you to call it Park Place. I made it African.

Brothers don't owe nothing on Park Place.

I feel weird saying I want to buy two hotels for Ghana.

Something wrong, J .J.? You haven't opened your mouth for almost 20 seconds.

Something must be wrong.

Now... 25 seconds, and for you, that's a record.

Okay, I'll tell you.

I got myself a heavy problem, and I need a lot of brain power to solve it.

Oh? So Thelma, why don't you leave the room so we can eliminate the dead wood?

Now he's back to normal.

JJ, this is my room, and I'm staying.

Anyway, how do you know I can't help?

Because you'll tell.

Okay, I'm a member of the Satan Knights.

Ooh, I'm a town!

Hey, J .J., I thought you were too smart to get mixed up with something as dumb

as gang.

I didn't choose them, Michael. They chose me.

One day in school, Nick Bowie and Mad Dog cornered me and explained the

of the Satan Knights health and accident insurance plan.

They said that if I didn't join, they had a plan to ensure that I had an

accident to my health.

But you really haven't been running with them, though, have you?

No, I've mainly been running from them.

But today they're getting down with the warlords, and Mad Dog himself is coming

personally to see that I participate.

Boy, I wish I could declare amnesty before I went to war.

Why don't you just say no?

I tried that once and almost collected all my insurance policy.

This invitation sure is fancy. It don't even say, bring your own bottle.

Baby, it smells like dinner is ready.

I'm so hungry, I got hunger pains shooting off through my stomach.

All right, when your pains start coming three minutes apart, I'll rush you over

to McDonald's.

I don't think I can make it to the Big Mac delivery room.

Okay, I'll put dinner out.

You know, I still can't get over Charlie, a lawyer.

You know, that just goes to prove, even in this neighborhood...

Nothing can keep you from reaching the top unless you let it. That's right,

baby. All these kids going wrong, it sure gives you a kick when you see a

brother making something out of himself.

Well, you got a few good kicks coming if I know those three kids we got back

there. Yeah. Hey, we making such a big deal about Charlie being a lawyer, we

almost forgot that Michael's a sure bet for the Supreme Court.

I sure makes good babies.

Oh.

The wonder is, you did it all.

The girl that you made all by yourself is pretty special, too.

Yeah, that's because she takes after her mama. You know, Thelma's got a lot of

promise, baby. I bet she could be a lawyer, too, if she wanted to.

Boy, just imagine that. The first brother and sister on the Supreme Court.

Hot damn, what a family.

And don't forget, kid, her dynamite.

He's making a special place for himself with his paintings.

Yeah, I got to admit, though, I was worried about Junior there for a while.

Seemed like he had oatmeal in his hair. Oh, Jay.

But he got himself straightened out.

Yes, sir. We got a thumb family. Them kids didn't have no easy road, baby. But

they're traveling right now. Right.

That's because they had me to guide them.

And I did it all by myself, huh?

Hey, J .J., you can get killed going against the warlord.

Yeah, I'm willing to fight with my fists once in a while.

But when it comes to guns, never.

Tell you one thing I like about my body.

It ain't got no holes in it.

Well, too bad you can't say the same thing about your head.

You know, for once you're right, little sister.

Them warlords are mean.

There must be 300 warlords.

500. How many Satanites are there?

100.

According to the latest JJ poll, 500 go into 100 as many times as they want to.

You know, J .J., if Daddy finds out what's happening, man, he gonna kill

Problem number one.

And if Mama finds out you belong to a gang, oh, J .J., it'll break her heart.

Problem number two. And if you don't go to the fight tonight, Mad Dog and all

the Satanites gonna be out to kill you. Problem number three through ten.

Children, dinner's ready.

And that's problem number eleven.

How to get Ma and Dad out of the house before Mad Dog and the gang get here.

Come on, children.

Oh, that looks good.

What were you all doing back there so long?

Just rapping.

Oh, that's nice.

JJ, say the blessing.

Thank you, Lord,

for the food we are about to receive.

And may he continue to receive it while he's at the receiving hospital.

Nothing.

She's just trying to provide a little entertainment.

And speaking of entertainment, as everyone seems to be these days, what

two lovely parents doing this p .m.? It was a choice between turning on the TV

and watching the fights or opening the window and listening to them.

TV won.

You mean you don't watch TV on that old set? That picture's got so much snow on

it, Red Fox comes out white.

the movies, see something on big wide screens, stereophonic sound and color.

Junior, you must be joking. $2 .50 a ticket. I rate all the movies TD for too

damn expensive.

Pass the hot sauce.

Come on, Mom, Dad, live it up. You deserve a night out. That's right.

There are a lot of good movies playing. Black Bill Jones, Blackula, Black

Godfather, Six Black Men. They all sound like violent pictures to me.

I don't like violence. But when they get off the screen, they're still able to

walk out alive.

out with James Earl Jones and Diane Carroll called Claudine.

James Earl Jones is a garbage man and she's on welfare.

Julia on welfare?

Well, this I got to see.

Honey, we haven't been to a movie in a long time. Want to go?

Well, I'll pop with a popcorn.

Small size.

Yeah, why not, baby? Doing good to get out the house for a change.

It's just kind of nice of you kids to want to see us have a good time.

And I'll wash the dishes. And I'll dry.

And I'll say the grace.

After the meal?

Yeah, suddenly I feel the need for a prayer.

That's them. I'll get it.

Michael, maybe we shouldn't answer it. We got to sooner or later.

Think JJ's plan has a chance?

It better.

Well, JJ don't have a chance.

Who are you supposed to be? I'm Michael, JJ's brother.

Okay. You tell your brother that we're here, dwarf.

Yeah, we're here, dwarf.

She's my sister.

Hey, sweet thing, I'm Mad Dog. What's your name?

Thelma.

Thelma?

Where you get a weird name like Thelma?

When I was born, my mama took one look at me and called me Thelma.

Just like your mama took one look at you and called you Mad Dog.

It's neck bone, brother.

Hey, hey, hey, be cool, man. We got no time to go through changes with the Fox.

Gigi, I'm waiting on you, man.

but it says to be continued on the next thermometer.

Neck bone.

Yeah.

Go see what that thing says. Yeah, dog.

Hey, man, I wouldn't get too close. Catch him. Get out of the way, brother.

got chills and everything.

He's got to get back in bed. He can't go anywhere tonight.

Yeah, I'm supposed to go into emergency surgery as soon as they find the right

color thread.

98 .6.

Say it. My name is his weight.

You playing the nut roll.

Yeah, you playing the nut roll.

You got his chicken fever.

And if you don't get well real quick, me and this 22 will make it fatal.

All of a sudden, my temperature just went down 22 degrees.

Right back to normal.

Get yourself together, blood.

We got to move.

We moving?

Moving right along.

This here crib is really sharp.

Yeah, it's really sharp.

I have to up JJ's dues a couple bucks a month. I hear you.

Anybody live this big can afford it.

Yo, Daddy, you mean your old man still stays here with y 'all? Sure.

Well, my old man split right after I was born.

I don't blame him.

Come on, man. Don't give me time for this chick, man.

I told you to save it.

We got no time for preliminaries. We got a main event with the warlords,

remember? Your brothers shouldn't be fighting other brothers anyway.

Ain't you ever heard of Black Unity?

Black Unity?

Yeah, ain't that a rock group play over on the South?

ain't going nowhere until we stop fighting and learn to work together.

My brother's right.

Every time you fight, it not only hurts you, but don't you know it hurts our

whole community?

So what?

What do you mean, so what?

So why don't you just call this whole thing off?

What'd you say, brother?

I said I ain't your brother. That's what I said.

Besides, fighting helps to make a man out of you.

Ain't that right, mad dog?

to sneak in their territory and start popping.

How you blind on sneaking 100 dudes in their territory?

Just as welfare workers?

Come on, let's go. Yeah, man, let's get it on, man.

Uh, don't y 'all want to hear my plan?

What plan?

Heh.

Glad you asked.

Don't you take notes of this great plan.

Michael, guard the door and make sure nobody hears this great plan.

Here is the first land... of the greatest plan in the world.

First, we sneak into their territory.

I already said that.

That's the good part.

See, so we're going to be closer to Cook County General Hospital so we don't

have to go so far for treatment.

You trying to stall J .J.? No, I just wanted to make sure I laid a plan on y

'all. Now...

Just wanted to make sure y 'all was paying attention.

Thelma, score Mad Dog 100 for paying attention.

Spit it out.

This is a plan that won World War II.

Personally endorsed by George...

I guess you're right.

But the kid's gonna be so disappointed.

Well... JJ!

Ma, Dad, I thought y 'all went to the movies.

We was, but we changed our mind.

What's going on here?

What you doing dressed like this? And Tyrone, Sylvester, why are you holding

him? Well, like I told you, Ma, I'm going to this dance, and these are my

escorts. Well, y 'all turn him loose. Hey, man, get out of the way. We got

business with the warlord.

Boy, I don't give a damn who you got business with.

My son ain't going to no gang fight. Junior, what the hell are you doing

mixed up with a gang? I ain't in this gang.

You're in a gang?

No, Ma. They chose me. I didn't choose them.

I told you I'm not turning loose.

I told you to get on, old man.

Who do you think you're talking to that way?

I'm Mad Dog, dig it?

Head of Satan's Night's War Council.

Is that supposed to be something big?

Mad dog, you don't get your hand off my wife's face, I'm gonna slap a muzzle on

you.

You have just seen part one of J .J. and the Gang.

Stay tuned for scenes from next week's show.

Now, baby, all I need is five minutes alone with that mad dog. Just five

with him. But that is only going to cause more trouble. And besides, after

court hearing, they'll put mad dog away where he belongs.

Yeah, the same as Nick Bone and that other character. They still walk in the

street. Now, James, before you do anything, you'll be sorry for her.

what the good book says?

other cheek.

Well, you let Mad Dog turn other cheek.

Refer to me as your honor. Don't call me man.

I always give you the benefit of the doubt.

Baby, now, I done told you. You ain't got nothing to do with this no more.

between me and Mad Dog.

One on one.

What you doing? Eating pretzels for breakfast?

Baby, don't think of these as pretzels.

Think of them as Mad Dog's finger.

Be sure to watch Good Times next week for the conclusion of J .J. and the

Good Times is recorded on tape before a live audience.