All language subtitles for Good Times s02e08 The Encyclopedia Hustle

Good times! Anytime you need a payment.
Good times! Anytime you feel free.

Good times!

Anytime you're up and under.

Not getting hassled, not getting
hustled. Keeping your head up for water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times!

I ain't a banana.

Mama, I'm an artiste. I gotta paint what
I feel, so today I feel apples.

Well, if you feel apple, how come you
always act in bananas?

See, if you paint half an apple, you got
half a brain.

Oh, I'm not gonna get out of this.
Children.

Ma, my whole artistic mood is ruined.
What am I gonna do for the rest of the

day? I'm desperate.

Do your homework.

I ain't that desperate.

tell me your daddy's not trying to raise
money to pay the bill now.

Well, no one is taking messages for us.

Didn't you give her number to your
friends?

Yeah, but none of my boyfriends called
yet.

That figures.

Your boyfriends are so dumb they
probably can't remember more than one

Look who's talking. How about the chicks
you go out with? How about my chicks?

Because they don't have to remember no
number. They can knock on my door.

You kids only have your social life to
worry about. I've got to worry about a

part -time job that's being messed up.

By the time that department store
reaches me, the part -time job will be

time.

Good afternoon.

Yes? My name is Henry Anderson, and I
have a free gift for you. Well, even if

it's free, we can't afford it.

Ma 'am, I'm sure you'll find it
interesting. It's a calendar with

dates of black history. Black history?

Take it, Mom. It's free.

Yeah, but I got a feeling what he got in
his briefcase ain't.

I have to tell him something, ma 'am.

But I'd still like the boy to have this
free calendar. He sounds like a true

soul, brother.

Here you are, son.

Thank you.

If you like that, I'm sure you'll find
it really interesting what I'm selling.

It's an entire encyclopedia of black
history.

Black encyclopedia?

Fantastic. We sure could use one around
here.

Now, wait a minute, Michael. I'm only up
to eating the white encyclopedia.

Let's take one color at a time.

Oh, you have another son.

Yes. If you'd just let me come in, I'd
like to talk to you. I am not

May I sit down? In somebody else's
apartment.

Not with a name.

Mama, he's B -L -I -N -D.

Well, Michael, you can still H -E -A -R.

J -J.

Here's your briefcase.

Thank you. I'm sorry we were so rude.
Please sit down.

Oh, it's nothing to get upset about.
Just treat me like anybody else.

I may be an unsighted person, but I
still have my other senses to

For instance, I'd say the young man is
12 years old, about 5 feet, and

intelligent. Thank you.

How'd you know that?

I know a lot of things. Sometimes I can
see things sighted people can't.

How?

Do I look?

Well, from the direction of your voice,
I'd say you're quite tall, and from the

confidence with which you ask the
question, very handsome.

This man can see things sighted people
can't see.

There's a young lady in the room.

Yeah, that's right, I'm Thelma, but
how'd you know I was here?

By your perfume.

Yeah, she's wearing Lily of the Ghetto.

your voice that you're very pretty.

Mr. Anderson, you just blew your winning
streak.

Mr. Anderson, what does Mama look like?
Michael.

Well, from the moment I heard her at the
door, I knew that she was kind, warm,

youthful, and very charming.

Mr.

Anderson, can I get you a cup of coffee?

Please don't put yourself to any
trouble.

Oh, it's just my way of thanking you for
not mentioning my weight.

I'm sure that you have a very lovely
figure.

You just won yourself a donut, too.

Mr. Anderson, can you tell me more about
these books?

This instead of encyclopedias is for
you, Michael.

This is only volume one. The whole set
contains ten volumes. It covers

everything from Crispus Attucks to
Malcolm X.

Oh, wow. Look at this.

Here you are, Mr. Anderson. This is your
coffee.

And the donut is right in front of you.
Thank you, Mrs.

Evans. Mama, come here. Look at this. It
says here that when George Washington

crossed the Delaware, he had two black
men with him.

Hey, that's a switch. The two black
dudes are sitting in George's standing.

I never knew this. This is terrific.

Take it easy, Michael. Don't get too
carried away.

Hey, Ma, listen to this.

It says a black...

men from capture by the British.

Hmm, I can just imagine him now standing
in a 1776 Cadillac.

Lafayette, we is here.

Come on, this could be great.

Mr. Anderson, you got anything about
that book and about black artists?

I knew you'd ask that question. You're
an artist yourself, aren't you? Of

course.

I can smell the paint.

I'm sure you're a fine artist, too.

Hey, this dude... is too much.

First he knows I'm handsome, now he
knows I'm talented.

Boy, this guy's got the six million
dollar man beat by five million dollars.

We're very proud of our section on black
artists.

Charles White, Ernie Barnes, Henry
O'Tanner. Oh, maybe next year I'll be

up in one of your books.

Only if there's a section on black
fools.

And we're in the tea for Thelma.

Mr.

Anderson, does the encyclopedia have
anything about the theater?

Oh, yes, a very extensive section,
Thelma.

It covers James Baldwin, Lorraine
Hansberry, has biographies of Marian

Leontine Price, Paul Roach... No, Mama,
doesn't that sound out of sight?

I got a feeling the course is out of
sight, too.

Oh, Mrs. Evans, it's not as expensive as
you think.

We have a special easy payment plan.

Could you afford, say, $20 down and $5 a
week?

The $20 down is impossible, and the $5 a
week is tougher than that.

You're such a wonderful family. How
about $5 down and $2 a week? $2 a week?

Ma, can't we stretch our budget?

We ain't got no budget.

All we got is a cookie jar with some
pennies and prayers, and by the end of

week, it's down to prayers.

You're missing a wonderful opportunity,
Mrs. Evans.

Now it only costs $109.

Next week, it'll be up to $250.

Yeah, Mama, we better act fast.

Oh, Mama, we could do it. I won't buy so
much perfume and hairspray.

I'll make the supreme sacrifice. I'll
give up my weekly Big Mac.

Oh, please, Mama. If you buy us these
books, I'll never ask for anything again

as long as I live my whole life. Come
on, Mama, we could do it. I'll save,

Wait a minute, children.

That's a lot of money.

James, I'm glad you're here. Oh?

We got company.

Yeah, well, if it's a bill collector,
you better tell him to get to the end of

the line.

You selling something?

Selling something?

Baby, you must be kidding. I've been out
scuffling trying to raise money to pay

the bills we got now.

Didn't come up with but $5, and you in
here listening to some slick pitch from

jive dude.

Must have served me the last donut I was
saving for myself when I got home.

James. Let me explain.

Now, look here, man. I don't know what
you're selling, but we ain't buying

nothing, so you might as well pack up
your bag and get on out of here.

Daddy, we're selling encyclopedias. It's
the whole history of black people.

Yeah? Well, the history of these black
people is that we can't afford to buy no

encyclopedias about the history of them
black people.

Now, quit, man.

Oh, Daddy, you shouldn't talk in that
way.

I don't need you telling me how to talk
to no fancy peddler.

Oh, Mom.

Michael, may I have the book, please?

Well, will you listen to Mr.

Sediti?

Michael, may I have the book, please?
What is that?

Mr. Anderson, can we still keep the
calendar?

Sure, it's yours.

Enjoy it, son.

Thank you.

Under the circumstances, maybe I'd
better come back another time.

Yeah, try July 1985.

Well, what kind of clumsy ox you all
done brought in here? Not showing up

just stumbling and bumming around.

How do you expect somebody to buy
something you sell? Daddy!

She's blind!

I'm sorry.

I didn't know. Why didn't somebody say
something? What you all just standing

around for? Tell me, get the man another
cup of coffee. No, no, please.

Don't bother. Sit down, please, Mr.
Anderson.

I'm sorry.

Uh, what you selling?

An encyclopedia of black history, Mr.
Evans.

It's $109, James.

But it's only $5 down and $2 a week,
Daddy. It tells the whole story of black

people. Yeah, from slavery to shaft.

From nip that bell, tote that barge,
to...

Get your hands off me hockey.

Mr. Evans, your children can have the
whole cultural history of our race right

at their fingertips.

We always did want the kids to get a
good education.

What do you think, baby?

I don't know, James. It's up to you.

Two dollars a week ain't going to make
or break us.

All right, Mr. Evans, you got yourself a
deal.

You'll just sign this contract on the
bottom line.

I'll deliver the entire set to you
personally this evening.

And, uh, Mr. Anderson, here's the fly
for the down. You have to excuse the

condition of the wrinkled money.

Had to do a lot of squeezing to get it.

Thank you.

And here's your copy of the contract.

It's awfully nice meeting you and your
family, Mr. Evans.

Same here. Let me show you to the door,
Mr. Anderson. Thank you.

Nice talking to all of you.

Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.

I'll be back this evening.

All right.

We'll see you.

We'll be here.

All right, James, that was a nice thing
to do, helping out a blind man.

Oh, baby, that ain't had nothing to do
with it. That just ought to be a good

idea to have some decent history books
around here for the kids.

You know, this paper here could be the
road to culture.

Thank you, Danny.

Yeah, sure. It would be nice to have
them book.

Yeah.

Uh -uh.

Hey, baby, I'll tell you something I
don't like here. What is it, James? Why?

It says there's an extra $1 a week
carrying charge, $3 credit investigation

charge, and if we miss two payments in a
row, there's a $20 penalty charge.

Then they got a final balloon payment
that's going to blow us away.

We just make sure we don't miss any
payments.

Yeah. Like we didn't miss any payments
to the telephone company.

Oh, Lord. Now, look, I know this is bad,
Lou. What?

The print on it's so fine, you need a
magnifying glass to read it.

Look here.

The seller has a lien on the purchaser's
chattel.

Now, I know we the purchaser, but who
the hell is chattel?

They must have spelled it wrong.

They probably think we're rich Texans
and they meant chattel.

James, what have we signed?

I got a feeling we're going to be an
unfurnished, naked family.

How could a brother rip us off?

It's easy, Michael.

Don't forget now. Benedict Arnold was
somebody's brother, too.

Yeah, baby?

That was some fine meal.

Oh, thank the Lord we had enough tea.

Well, but you know, if we go for that
encyclopedia, okie -dokie, this table

gonna be down to poking grits.

Who's poking grits, Daddy?

Son, that's when you ain't got nothing
to eat, you poke out your lips and grit

your teeth.

It's all my fault.

Huh. It's not your fault, baby.

to blame. We were just trying to help
out a blind man.

Yeah, if he's blind.

What do you mean by that, Tony?

Oh, now think about it, baby.

This cat comes in here fumbling and
stumbling, bumps into a few things,

he's blind, and we fall for the jive.

And me, signing that contract, I fell
for it worse than anybody.

Gave him the last five dollars I had.

Now, wait a minute, y 'all.

I got a great idea I can get out of this
thing.

Listen to this.

We lock the door, pack our bags, and
before he gets here, we go down to the

Ambassador East Hotel, get a sweep, and
later this thing blows over.

J .J., where are we going to get the
money to stay at the Ambassador East?

I took the ball to the one -yard line.

There's somebody else carried over for
the touchdown.

The load is answering service with the
latest batch of messages for the Evans

family.

Not that I'm complaining, James, but
what is happening with the telephone?

Nothing. I ain't paid the bill.

Any calls for me, Walona? There sure
was, honey. Eddie called.

He wants to take you to the basketball
game Saturday night. Oh, really?

Uh -huh. And Jimmy called.

He wants to take you to the basketball
game Saturday night.

Uh -oh. And Larry called.

He wants to take you to the basketball
game Saturday night.

Walona!

with his fence with the small fry.

Let's get on to the biggie. Yeah.
Anyway.

JJ?

Yes, ma 'am?

I'll give you yes, ma 'am.

Lay it on me, Walona. How many females
been calling panting for their Saturday

evening reservations with kid or
dynamite?

Now, Fred Thompson is worth millions of
Thelma calls.

My main man, Fred. My down -home
partner, Fred. What my main running mate

He want you to ask Thelma if she go to
the basketball game with him. Looks

like a kid dynamite is a

wet firecracker.

You know,

your friend has had 11 kids and about to
have another one any day.

What was the message?

Oh, good. They want me to come in
tomorrow for the weekend business, huh?

they're expecting a heavy rainstorm, and
I've been going to open the place up.

Oh, that's great. That's great.

Take on debt and lose your pay.

Tell you, if it wasn't for bad luck, we
wouldn't have no luck at all.

Damn. See, white folks is right.

We are happy, carefree people.

baby, that about rips it, though. With
no weekend money coming from the car

wash, ain't no way in the world we can
afford them encyclopedias now.

When that dude gets here with that phony
hustle tonight, we just gonna have to

sock it to him. But, James, we could be
wrong.

How do we know he isn't really blind?

Lord, I bet you that dude can see a
roach tap dancing a mile away.

Wait, let me get it, baby.

Junior, get on the floor and lay down by
the door.

Now, I'm going to show you just how
blind this cat is. Oh, James.

I said lay down on the floor by the
door, man. Oh, come on. That ain't

down on no floor.

I beg your pardon?

I was just laying down on the floor.

Come in.

Tony, you satisfied now? Man, I done
seen some cons in my time, but you take

cake trying to run that phony blind jive
on us. If you're talking about that

person laying there on the floor, I
heard him breathing.

Oh, now, come on. I wasn't breathing
that honest.

I heard him breathing clearly.

Do you think I'd pretend I lost one of
God's most precious gifts?

You think I'd commit a blasphemy like
that just to sell an encyclopedia?

Damn right.

I can't be sure.

Maybe this will convince you.

It's a photostat copy of my Army medical
record.

This happened in Korea.

Korea? Yeah, the Yalu River.

91st recon.

91st recon? Hey, man, you the cats have
replaced us.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Hey, look, I hate to ask you to
get me out of another hole, man, but we

can't deal with that contract.

You don't got too many clauses in it.

You got clauses in there to turn us
every which way but loose.

And the company's going to take away
everything we've got if we can't keep up

them payments.

Hey, that's terrible. I didn't know
nothing about them clauses.

Look, I'd like to tear your contract up,
but I can't. I already turned in a

signed copy of it to my boss.

What are we going to do?

We're not blaming you, but we're in a
lot of trouble.

Don't worry, Mrs. Evans.

I'm not going to let that company take
advantage of you good people.

I'm going to call up my boss right now
and get him to straighten this thing

Where's the phone, please?

It's right over here.

Oh, but you can't do that. No problem.

I dialed by field.

No, no. I'll settle this with my boss
right now.

No, Mr.

Anderson, you don't understand. My wife
is trying to explain. Anderson here. Mr.

Fields, please.

Mr. Fields?

I want you to tear that contract up and
call the whole thing off.

But you can't do that, Fields. You're
cheating me, Fields.

Now, you listen to me.

If you don't tear up that contract, I...
He hung up

on me.

That makes me mad enough. I ought to
just quit. Man, you quit when you picked

that phone.

You know something, man? You ain't
nothing but a no -good phony hustler.

are you talking about?

Uh, Mr. Anderson, can you read Braille?
Of course. Good.

What do this say?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself
making fake phone

calls. I don't understand what you're
talking about. No?

Well, maybe you'll understand this.

Give me the police.

Police, I want the Bunko Squad.

Hello, Bunko Squad?

We've got a blind man here who's full of
bunk.

Sure, I'll hold on for a minute.

You've got 60 seconds, and then I'm
turning you in.

And give me my five dollars, ma 'am.

Look at him.

Hello,

police.

It was a false alarm. Sorry.

Mr. Anderson, goodbye.

Hey, just tell me one thing.

What's that?

How'd you know my phone call was fake?

The phone is disconnected.

That's right.

So you out -conned me.

Have mercy.

Wow. How could you do that to a blind
brother?

Mr. Anderson, you may be blind, but you
ain't no brother of ours.

You lie, you cheat, you steal.

You're a disgrace to blind people.

Then let me tell you something.

Blind people are just like everybody
else. You take the good with the bad.

Kids, I'm sorry about the books.

You know how bad you wanted them. That's
all right, Dad. No problem.

And, Ma, you were brilliant on that
phone call.

You were the best actress I ever saw.

Thelma's right.

What was she on the phone, everybody?

She was... Dino!

Hey,

you ready for this?

Here's a letter from the phone company
asking us if we'd like to switch to one

of them push -button princess phones
with a choice of colors. Now, listen

Including robin's egg blue, sunflower
yellow, or boudoir beige.

Well, it was nice of them to ask.

But I think we better stick to basic
black and hope we can find basic green

pay for it.

Just looking out of the window, watching
the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks when we die.

Good times, good times, keeping your
head above water,

making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs, good times.

Good Times is recorded on tape before a
live audience.