Original subtitles

From Television City in Hollywood.

When you move it.

Little sister, you are no longer interested in these tickets to the

concert, which I will only relinquish upon the completion of this portrait.

You're a cold dude, J .J. You got what I want, so you're hassling me, right?

That's right. Right now, it's me and the Arabs running the world.

back to posing.

Wasting time posing for an amateur like me.

Hey, are you crazy, JJ?

You got me seven feet tall.

I look like Will Chamberlain.

You're looking at a James Evans original.

I paint part impressionistic.

I just walked up 17 flights of stairs.

I never

have any trouble landing in the right apartment.

Just pick up kids screaming and come in on automatic pilot.

The elevator is broke. I just walked up 17 flights of stairs.

Here, take this. Man,

they tried to put up an out of order sign, but every time they tried to nail

up. They knocked down a wall.

Ma, what am I going to do with the milk and eggs?

What you always do with milk and eggs, Thelma, put them in the refrigerator.

I thought you knew, Ma. The refrigerator broke down again.

Oh, no.

Now all my food is going to spoil.

No, it won't, Mama. The heat went off a half hour ago.

This is the worst -run building in this whole project. Nothing...

Under the circumstances, that is the politest word that comes to mind.

I'm going to call this project manager and shake him up a bit.

It won't do any good, Ma. All you're going to get is one of those recordings

saying, leave your message after the sound of a beep.

She's right. It just beeped.

Oh, yeah?

Well, dig this, Mr. Beep -Bip.

Any one condition, or I shall see to it personally that you are out of a job.

And I mean rapito.

As much as the sign Mayor Daley or Muhammad Ali.

Whichever scares you the most.

Sir, guess what?

The elevator ain't working.

I just walked all the way from the laundry room.

I doubt it. There ain't nothing in this building that's operating.

You know, there are eight machines down there, and I finally found the one that

was working. You want to see how it was working? Look at it.

10 % acrylon, 90 % confetti. Well, I know the machine you got is the one with

that special cycle, Washington.

Oh, the elevator ain't working.

I had to walk up 17 flights.

Guess what?

The elevator ain't working.

You know, some of a man's home is supposed to be his castle.

Boy, in this one, the drawbridge is always stuck.

no drawbridge.

Ain't you gonna kiss me hello?

Baby, I'm so mad I might bite.

I don't accept anything.

Boy,

you work hard all day to pay the rent on a building that's falling down.

You come home and half the light bulbs in the hallway ain't working.

The elevator ain't working.

Hey, it's cold in here.

They don't tell me the heat ain't working.

It decided to keep the refrigerator company.

Now I'm going to get out of all this. I opened a fortune cookie last night, and

listen to this.

You are about to meet a tall, dark, handsome man who will take you away from

your present run -down pad to a fancy apartment overlooking Lakeshore Drive

heat, hot water, and an elevator that runs all the time.

Well, now, what does it really say?

Chicago.

No water?

You know, I had better conditions than this in Korea.

Oh, pretty soon we'll have to go to the bathroom at the gas station.

You're only going to be able to do an odd number of days.

You know, James, I really think we ought to make a noise about this.

It ain't going to do no good. You know, we've been to that manager over a

hundred times.

Maybe Michael's got the answer, Dad. Huh? He's been sending letters to the

newspaper making complaints about this place.

Ah, the militant midget strikes again.

Can you believe that a newspaper would print a letter from an 11 -year -old

Besides, where'd he get the money for the stamps?

You don't need no money for no stamps.

The last six letters I painted them on.

Well,

I'm gonna get on back to my place and look at my favorite daytime cereal.

It's even sad. than this building.

Well, I don't know what could be sadder than this building. The four o 'clock

news.

Okay, then, I'm going to need some water. I know.

Go downstairs, 17 floors.

Get some water.

Here goes Jack without Jill.

She was like 40.

I sure am glad I got me an ample woman to sleep with tonight.

Speaking of ample, I bet you're sorry you didn't marry Emmeline Watson.

Emmeline Watson?

How do you remember Emmeline Watson?

How can you forget Emmeline Watson? She weighed 300 pounds.

Daddy, you used to go out with a lady that weighed 300 pounds?

Yeah, but I only went out with her one time.

See, I was caught in your mother, and so I had this friend of mine fix me up

with a heavy date to make her jealous.

Lord knows I didn't know the date was going to be that heavy.

Hey, Bob, were you jealous?

Oh, I was before I saw him dancing with Emmeline Watson.

He was showing off, you know, being real cute.

So when they got by where I was sitting, he dipped her real deep.

when your daddy was done dipping, Emmeline wasn't.

She couldn't come out of it.

It took your daddy ten minutes to squirm loose.

JJ, what you doing back so soon?

Somebody mugged my buckets.

That's just too much. This building's about to drop.

James! What the hell is that? Are you all right?

I'm all right, but the floor ain't.

It's so cold in here, one of the tiles done popped loose.

It could be termites.

Guess what?

No,

they printed my letter in the Chicago Defender. You kidding?

Is that the one I painted the Eisenhower stamps on? Uh -huh.

Couldn't be too bright at the post office.

I painted them black.

What are you putting us on, boy?

something you wrote? They sure did.

Listen to this.

Dear sir, it's time people knew about the terrible conditions in the projects

area. They are becoming a slum.

Complaints are ignored and it's a disgrace to our fair city and the entire

United States.

Signed, Michael Evans, Esquire.

You better get your esquire off that chair.

Daddy, you've been trying to complain about this for months.

Mama, we're supposed to fight for our rights, ain't we?

Well, we're all for that, Michael.

But we also got to remember that we were on a waiting list for two years to get

into this project.

And it's a whole lot better than that cold water flat we used to live in with

the bathroom in the hallway.

Do we live in one of those?

Yes, we do, son.

remember being cold, Mama.

You wasn't.

You was warm in my belly.

I'm glad you waited to have me last, Mama.

Well, at least the phone is still working.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Mr. Evans.

The Housing Authority.

Oh, uh, look here, about that letter in the newspaper, uh, uh -huh.

Yeah, well, we'll be here, but I think I ought to tell you this.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Yeah, okay.

Well, that was the man from the housing authority.

They read about your little letter in the newspaper, and they want to talk to

us. They're going to be here at 5 o 'clock.

See, Daddy, we're giving some action. Yeah, I ought to give you some action.

Well, thanks a lot, Michael.

In about two hours, if we want water, we won't have to send J .J. down into the

street. We'll be living down there.

A lot of lights are behind up right now.

Woo!

Baby's down to 45 now.

My teeth are chattering so much it sounds like a crack game.

That's got to be the man.

Now look, y 'all let me deal with this here.

I think you should show some unity.

Michael, if you don't be quiet, I'm going to unify your behind with my belt.

Amen.

Looks so good, man.

17th place.

You know, somebody's mugging somebody on the 14th floor.

You lucky the mugger was busy with somebody else.

Otherwise, you'd have been the muggy.

I'm sorry. In all the excitement, I didn't introduce myself.

I don't live here.

Now, I know I'm late, but I had a terrible time getting a taxi here.

Every time I told them where I was going, they turned on the off -duty sign

slammed the door in my face.

Well, I finally got one. He's waiting for me downstairs, so I'll be brief.

Mr. Evans, that letter you wrote caused some commotion down at the office.

When a letter like that is made public, it can cause a lot of trouble. You

shouldn't have written it, Mr. Evans.

I didn't.

And not Michael Evans?

No, the Mr.

Evans you want is my son.

I'm Michael Levin, Esquire, and I just want to say... Michael.

What my son wrote is true. There is an awful lot wrong with this building, but

we didn't expect our complaints to be printed up in the newspaper.

Good. Then it was a mistake.

Well, you just see to it that the boy learns to be... Boy is a white racist.

Just see to it that the little fella learns to be a little more discreet in

future. Remember, all we're trying to do is satisfy the tenant, be economical,

and keep these buildings in the black.

Well, goodbye.

What happened?

The warlords and the dukes are having a rumble again and hunt... Sorry,

I didn't know you had company.

Yeah, this is Mr.

Stonehurst. From the housing authority.

The warlords and the dukes?

Does that mean there's a gang fight going on? They ain't having a block

I'd better get down to my cab.

Oh, was that your cab?

What do you mean, was?

It just took off at 60 miles an hour on three wheels.

Witness, Mrs. Evans, what do you do when there's a gang fight?

Well, we count our children, thank the Lord that they're not in it, and sit it

out.

Long?

How long?

Oh, we've seen them go till two, maybe three in the morning.

Yeah, this one could last longer than that.

The warlords and the dukes are fighting for the championship and a chance to

work their way up in the Super Bowl rumble.

Goodness, I guess that means I'll have to stay here.

Look at the bright side, Mr.

Stonehurst. If the rumble lasts long enough, Bob Hope will... come into the

neighborhood and entertain the troops.

I'll be your coachman.

Is something hurting you, Mr.

Stoners? I suffer from migraine headaches.

They're brought on by tension.

Well, you came to the right neighborhood for tension.

Well, ma 'am, get Mr.

Stoners two aspirins, please. Okay, ma 'am.

Would you mind if I telephone my wife? She's expecting me home for dinner.

Oh, no, use the phone. It's right over there. Oh, thank you.

You're perfectly welcome to stay for dinner.

It's not top sirloin. We're just having cornbread, fatback, and turnip greens.

Oh, soul food.

Sounds delightful.

You'll find our diet has too much starch, not enough vitamins, proteins.

Will you get off the soapbox and go and set the table?

And put an extra chair up there for Mrs. Stonehurst.

Hello, Emily?

Emily, this is William.

Look, I had to stop by one of the projects, and I can't get away right

Well,

it's going to be fine. I'm having dinner with this family.

We're having fat greens and turnip backs.

There's nothing to worry about, dear. It's perfectly all right. It's okay.

Goodbye.

Here's the aspirin, Mr. Stonehurst. Oh, thank you. May I have some water?

We don't have any.

No water?

Oh, we have water, but it just isn't making a personal appearance today.

Say, how about washing them down with a little muscatel?

Muscatel? Yeah, that's the champagne of the people.

It don't sparkle. It don't bubble. It just kind of lays there.

Mrs.

Stonehurst, let me make a wild guess.

You've never been around many black families, have you?

Well, oddly enough, you're right.

But we do have a color.

Help me put the dinner on the table.

Here we go, Mr. Stoner.

Sort of wash those aspirins down.

Oh, thank you.

Mm -hmm.

I'm sure three out of four physicians don't recommend this, but it's a very

pleasant way to swallow aspirin.

Yeah, sometimes you don't even need the aspirin.

Want some more, huh?

Oh, well, don't mind if I do.

Well, since this is wine, I suppose we should propose a toast.

Well, I ain't no expert at making toasts. Oh, well, I know a very clever

used out of my club.

Yeah?

Under the teeth and over the gums. Look out, stomach. Here she comes.

from getting around.

We can sit down now. Come on, JJ.

Yeah, I'd leave my coat on if I were you. It's cold in here.

Oh, yeah, well, I've been meaning to ask you, why haven't you turned up the

heat? Because there ain't no heat, Stoney.

I'm sorry.

Oh, well, don't be, because we know you ain't personally responsible.

Gee, it all looks so good.

Thank you.

Especially the green backs and corn fat.

Come on, sit down.

I'm not really as much at ease as I appear.

But we should be thankful it's cold with the refrigerator not working. It keeps

the food from spoiling.

The refrigerator got a border, too?

Isn't anything working in this house?

Just my husband.

Got two different jobs to afford all the things around here that don't work.

I hate to bring you people down, but it's awfully depressing to hear things

that. Forget about it right now, Mr.

Stonehurst. Michael, baby, say the blessing.

J .J.

Thank you, Lord, for the food we're about to receive.

And I hope what Mama cooked for five will go into six.

Michael.

There's nothing to reprimand him for, Mrs. Devon. Your son has every right to

angry. It is disgraceful that a nice family like yours has to be subject to

conditions.

I guess we get so bogged down in paperwork, we get out of touch with

Oh, look, we know the projects is a big operation. You ain't got time to get

around to everybody personally.

No, no, no, no, Mr. Evans. I'm not going to accept that as an excuse.

Neither for me nor for my colleagues. No, something's got to be done about

and I'm going to do it.

Oh, Mr.

Stonehurst, I've heard that song before.

We done been down to see that manager over a hundred times.

No, no, no, you don't understand.

I'm from the district office.

I'm one of the top men down there. I can get things done.

Well, I'm starved. Let's dig in.

Extra, extra, the latest bulge in the rumble is off. Bye.

Well, I want to thank you all very much.

Aren't you going to stay and have dinner with us?

Well, I'd love to, really, but I should get on home.

Well, what about this? building. I mean, the refrigerator. Well, unfortunately,

this is Friday night.

But mark my words, I'm going to be there bright and early Monday morning and

really get things moving.

Oh, did you hear that, kids?

I like the way you're talking now. You have my word. Everything

that's wrong in this building is going to be fixed.

The best news we've had in weeks. Oh,

wow. Gary. I guarantee I'll have this place in perfect shape just like that.

Dynamite! That's the kind of talk I like to hear. But, Mrs. Stoners, you didn't

tell us how long it would take.

13, 14 months tops.

Get the green back some turnip fat.

Guess we're going to have to wait till JJ gets back with the water before we

wash the dishes, Thelma. Okay, Mom.

Oh, mercy, the water!

With the heat still off, I can take a bath in my overcoat.

You better come back here and keep me warm.

You know, I could always trade you in on the Emmeline Watson.

Just you try.

Looking out of the window.

Watching the asphalt road.

Thinking how it all looks and it dies.

Good times.

Keeping your head up for water.

Making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times.

Good times is recorded on tape before a live audience.

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