All language subtitles for Good Times s01e06 Sex and the Evans Family

From Television City in Hollywood.

Good times. In a town you need a
payment. Good times. In a town you need

friend. Good times. In a town you're out
for Monday.

Not getting hassled. Not getting
hustled.

Keeping your head above water.

Making a wave when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times. Easy
credit ripoffs. Good times.

Stretching and...

You don't need a bathroom. You need an
assembly line.

Boy, that girl will drive you crazy with
all that makeup.

She does lay it on a little heavy.

Yesterday, I stepped on one of her false
eyelashes.

I thought I had killed a centipede.

Hey, Mama.

Make sure you iron that shirt real
smooth.

Because the girl I'm going out with
tonight likes to touch me a lot.

of the project.

Four dates this week and each one with a
different girl.

What can I say, mama? When you're hot,
you're hot.

Right now, the two things that most
demand around here are me and gasoline.

You know, you do have the same build as
a gas hole.

I'll be right back.

I gotta go downstairs.

We're out of mouthwash.

You gonna make a special trip for that?

Yeah.

tonight's in a special life -saving
category.

I expect to do a lot of mouth -to -mouth
resuscitation.

Hi, J .J.

Where's Junior Longlegs going in such a
hurry?

To get some mouthwash. He's got another
heavy date tonight.

Oh, well, that boy's really grown up.
You know, I remember when the only thing

he had on his mind... was making the
basketball team.

Now he's trying out for the
cheerleaders.

All sorted.

Oh, well, Lona, heat up the coffee.

Coming right up.

Mama, you pressing my dress yet?

I'm just getting started.

Someday when I want a vacation, I'm
going to take a job as a maid.

Well, it's Saturday night and you got
yourself a couple of teenagers.

Yeah, well, not too happy about Thelma's
date.

She's going out with a 21 -year -old
boy.

Well, what are you worried about?

Thelma's 16.

When I was 16, I went out with 21 -year
-old boys and...

You know, Florida,

maybe you got something to worry about.

Hi, sweetie.

And if you're in a hurry for this dress,
I got a little ways to go, yeah.

Thanks for giving me the rest of the
night off.

You know, tell me your daddy and I still
ain't too pleased with this boy you're

going out with tonight.

Mama, you and daddy still on that...

Oh, 16.

What a great age.

That's when you meet the most wonderful
guy in your whole life every week.

Did you see how starry -eyed she was
when she talked about him? Yeah.

We had that same starry -eyed look when
we were young.

I remember you and Jimmy Phillips.

What about you and Charlie Ketchum?

The motor was too fast for me.

He took me to see a Lena Horne picture.

And when I felt his arms going around
me, I froze.

While Lena was on the screen singing
Stormy Weather, I was in the balcony

singing Show Me the Way to Go Home.

That was a lot of years and 50 pounds
ago.

All the boys used to call you the girl
with the dangerous curves.

Well, the curves are still here.

But they've widened the road a little.

I found this heavy new mouthwash.

It's called Control Tower.

Who's he going out with tonight?

Some girl named Gloria.

Last night it was Charlotte.

Two nights before that, it was Linda.

And the night before that, it was
Barbara.

Sounds like a basketball schedule.

Play two nights, rest one night.

Now, he may be a wild tiger now, but
someday that one girl's going to hook

and zap.

One skinny, tame house cat.

Let me see.

Uh -huh.

Pretty heavy stuff.

Now, here's something that's
interesting. I'm not interested.

It says the mail. Let me see that.

That J .J.

I'll make him sorry he brought garbage
like this into this house. Now, how do

you know it was J .J.? It might have
been James.

Well, Anna, we've been married for 18
years, and I got news for you.

James don't need no instructions.

JJ's 17.

Today, kids read that kind of stuff.

I don't like what's going on, and I
don't want my kids exposed to it. What

you going to do, Florida? It's a whole
new world.

Well, personally, I like the old world
better.

JJ, come out of there. I want to talk to
you.

JJ, come out here.

Yeah, Mom.

JJ, how do you explain this?

I don't know. If they can't explain it
in here, I sure can.

play some more. Oh, Mama, what you
trying to do? I could get a heart

Then go into my room and do your
homework.

Already did my homework. Michael!

Mama, why you trying to get rid of me?

Does it have something to do with what
you're hiding behind your back?

Now, Mama, this is probably Michael. Oh,
don't be ridiculous.

He does the most reading.

I told you. Yes, ma 'am.

J .J., you ought to be ashamed of
yourself blaming an 11 -year -old boy

reading such trash.

Well, if he reads this, he ain't gonna
be 11 long.

Michael wouldn't be interested in that
stuff anyway, right, Graham?

That's right.

I'm only interested in stuff that'll
help the black community.

If it wasn't for stuff like that, there
wouldn't be no black...

Lay down a bet on the fight.

We got troubles.

Well, we really gonna have trouble if
you don't give me some sugar.

Hi, James.

Hey, well, don't I see you got your
usual ringside seat?

Look here, Florida.

Before you hit me with your fuss of the
day, let me hit you with mine.

It's been on my mind all day, and I
still don't like the idea of Thelma

out with this 21 -year -old boy.

That don't even make the top 30 on the
bus charts.

Look at what J .J. brought into this
house.

Sexual behavior in the ghetto.

Now, hold on, Dad. I ain't have nothing
to do with this.

Oh,

you son of a gun.

James! Oh, baby, you call this serious?

A boy his age want to know about these
things? It's the most normal thing in

world.

And he ain't a boy no more. Shucks, he's
a man.

Come here, Jody.

I can't blame you for wanting to find
out something else, though. I didn't

dog you.

You know, son, I was just like you when
I was your age, a kid back in

Mississippi.

Did all right with the girls, too.

I bet you were.

Dino Mike.

I was nitroglycerin.

Of course, that was before I met your
mother.

Boy, the chicks used to line up just
waiting for a ride in that big black

limousine. Big black limousine?

Why don't you drive a big black
limousine, Dad?

Well, I used to drive a friend's hearse.

Oh, it's so nice to see a father and son
talking things over. Oh, shut up,

Willow.

Father and son, huh? They look more like
a couple of sailors on weekend passes.

Well, I gotta get ready for my date.

Look here, Junie. If you're making time
in the hallway, don't lean up against no

doorbells.

That's a fine way to raise your son,
James.

What you planning for him next?

A job as an usher in a pussycat theater?

Well, I hate to give him my ringside
seat, but I am totally disgusted by this

whole discussion on sexual behavior in
the ghetto. Well, let me relieve you

again.

Now, James, about J .J. and this.

Oh, baby, you're getting upset about
nothing.

Nothing?

Trash nothing?

That's right, nothing.

I mean, it's perfectly normal for a kid
his age to be interested in these

things. And it ain't a filthy piece of
trash.

And I'm surprised at you for being so
old -fashioned.

Old -fashioned? Mm -hmm.

Because there's stuff like that.

It's not what you think. It's
educational.

Educational. Where was it printed?

Pornotech?

James, there's no need to shout at the
girl.

Florida, what's wrong with you? Ain't
you as upset about this as I am? Well,

not exactly thrilled, but I'm also a
little confused.

About what?

A little while ago when you thought it
was J .J. reading this stuff, it was

Hallelujah time.

Now that you find out that it's
Thelma's, you want to call in the

girls and boys.

No kidding.

You must have read the first page.

You know what I mean. Boys don't get
pregnant.

No, but they're usually somewhere around
the scene of the crime.

Will you stop trying to defend your
daughter?

I just hope your 21 -year -old boyfriend
knows that.

Daddy, he's a wonderful person, and
you're making him sound like a lecherous

man. All right, baby, I'm sorry.

He's a lecherous young man.

Tell me, why can't you go out with boys
your own age?

You were three years older than me.

That's different, babe. You was old for
your age.

He's going to stay that way.

I just say, Eddie, she can't go out this
evening.

She got a fever of 105 degrees.

Then I'll throw him down the stairs.

that concerns you, son. Go back in your
room and study.

Oh, Mama, why is it that every time
something goes on around here, I gotta

back in my room and study?

You know, I'm gonna be smart in school,
but I sure am gonna be stupid to what's

happening around here.

Go on back in your room. Daddy! Don't
daddy me. Go on back in your room now.

James.

Your daughter is in there crying.

Oh, baby, you got to understand, I love
our sons, both of them, but Selma's the

only daughter we got, baby. She's
special.

She's my little girl.

Little girl?

Have you had a good look at her lately?

Yeah, and that's what scares the hell
out of me.

I know we raised her right, and I know
she know right from wrong, but 21 years

old, I... Oh, James.

Did you see the look in her eyes when
she started talking about him?

I had the same glow on my face when I
told my parents about you.

Yeah, well, you had reason to glow.

Well, so has she.

Now, Eddie is somebody special. He's
going to be a college professor.

So I use a lot of big words you don't
understand.

Oh, that's him now.

Look, this is a very special moment for
Thelma.

Well... Come on, at least talk to him.
Okay.

But I ain't gonna let him snow me.

Hi, I'm Eddie Conroy.

Is this the Evans apartment?

Well, it ain't unless you make a deal.

about a half an hour. Oh, she'll be
ready in a little while. You know how

are. Yes. Yeah, I bet you.

Oh, please.

Won't you sit down?

Yes, thank you.

Would you like a drink?

A cup of coffee?

A soda for her? No, thanks.

Why don't you offer him a belt of booze?
He's 21, ain't he?

How did a dude like you ever meet my
daughter?

Well, I interviewed her while I was
doing my research.

Research? Yes, I'm completing a thesis
for my master's. Thesis?

This cat even use short words you don't
understand.

You see there, James?

He interviewed Velma for his thesis.
What's it about?

Well, it's called sexual behavior in the
ghetto.

my more interesting subjects.

You wrote about my daughter in this here
thing?

She's page 25.

You see that? I told you, when a 21
-year -old cat go out with a 16 -year

girl, he ain't looking for no ice cream.

I don't understand.

I understand you wrote a dirty, filthy
piece of trash here, and I don't

appreciate you getting my daughter mixed
up in it.

I told you, 21 years old ain't nothing
but trouble. I ought to drop it. Oh,

Jeff.

A foolish thesis can't be dirty, can it?

I interviewed a cross -section of ghetto
residents and asked them about their

sexual behavior.

Well, it still don't sound like Mother
Goose to me.

Tell me one thing, baby. What do I say
on page 25?

My interview with Thelma helped to prove
a strong theory I have.

You see, in broken homes with just one
parent, there's a high percentage of

loose attitudes towards sex.

He is right, James.

with a solid family foundation,
especially a strong father figure, the

of unwanted pregnancies is almost non
-existent.

You mean, page 25 is clean? Sure.

And that's all Thelma's interview is all
about.

It makes real nice reading, too.

What did you say was the reason for
Thelma's low, uh... Incidence.

Yeah. Homes with a solid...

Family Foundation.

No, I mean the part after that. Oh,
strong father figures.

Yeah.

All right. You take care of my little
girl now.

If Eddie needs some more work on his
thesis, he can come up here and fire

anytime because, like he said in the
paper, I'm an expert on how to raise

right? Right.

bad scene, man.

I knocked on the girl's door, her father
answered the door, smelled the

mouthwash on my breath.

Just looking out of the window, watching
the asphalt road,

thinking how it all looks when you die.

Good times, good times, keeping your
head above water,

making a wave when you can.

Temporary layoffs, good times.

Good Times is recorded on tape before a
live audience.