Original subtitles

From Television City in Hollywood.

And where's that big string bean brother of yours? He was supposed to help me

set the table, make the beds, and clean up.

There you are.

Something's burning.

Ah.

It's only the breakfast again.

You look like an eel with the teeth of a shark.

Cool it, Thelma. I just bent down 17 floors for the mail.

I got some dispensing here to do.

Here's something for Michael.

Bulletin from the NAACP.

Corp.

SNCC. And the Pan -African Council. Thank you, sir.

And here's a free sample for little sister.

Afroglo face cream for the look of beauty.

Miracles?

Look who's talking.

If you were born in Detroit, you'd have been recalled for being dangerously

ugly. J .J., like that? J .J., you give it a face, you're crazy. Not till she

shuts her mouth, because if her BP brain falls out, we ain't never going to be

able to find it.

only took out my appendix, not my mouth nor my fist.

What's going on?

She called me ugly.

That could reduce a less beautiful person to tears.

I think they're both beautiful, don't you, Mama? I mean, they're different.

Thelma, she's got that real beautiful beauty. And JJ?

a question like that.

This is a Christian house. I put it as biblical as I could.

Michael may have a point there, Mama.

Maybe he and Thumb look the way they do. You know, all that nice, quiet beauty

because they was born out of an act of love.

And maybe I got all this wild, restless kind of beauty because I was born out of

an act of passion.

Or you're going to have me believing you was born out of an act of madness.

Now, let me see the rest of the mail you got there.

Oh, ain't nothing, Mama. Just bills, bills, and... Uh -oh.

I guess you want to see the bills, huh, Mama?

That's right.

And I want a little peek at that uh -oh.

This is an eviction notice.

Who are you talking about? They say they're going to throw us out today.

Didn't we get any warnings?

A couple of notices when you were in the hospital, but Daddy didn't want to

worry you. He said it'd be okay anyway.

See, Mom, he's got this friend named Monty who works in a project, and he

Daddy everything was going to be okay.

That's the same Monty that said Nixon was going to be poor folks' best friend.

Come on, Mom, let's have breakfast.

I can't eat on no evicted stomach.

How much money we got in that shoebox?

About $32.

It's about some $72 short.

I got a hundred ways I can get $70. And I got a hundred ways to warm your butt

if you do.

I don't want you stealing, James Jr.

I wouldn't do that, Mama. I may just find $70.

Yeah.

But I don't want you finding it before it gets lost.

I hope I'm coming through to you, boy.

Mama, boy is a white racist word.

Michael, this ain't no time to be black.

Mama demands silence.

J .J., say grace.

Oh, Lord, just help us through all this oatmeal, and we promise we'll never ask

for anything else again. Amen.

James Jr., that is blasphemous.

the door, woman. I'm frozen up.

If you wanted somebody fast, you should have married O .J. Simpson.

Come on, James.

Sit down, James, and get some hot oatmeal into your stomach.

And in between, you could tell me what we're going to do about this little

of mail that James Jr. got from the mailbox this morning. What is it?

eviction notice?

Well, it ain't no Valentine card.

Oh, baby, we got two of those while you was in the hospital.

But my friend Monty, who works down at the project, he said, don't worry about

it. Because they know I'm a hard -working man. They'll extend me. Yeah,

extend you right out into the street.

Your friend Monty don't know shellac from Shinola.

Now, Floyd, you want to worry your head about nothing, go on and do it. But we

got $32 in the shoebox, and I got another $6 right here in my pocket.

You worked all night, and all they paid you was $6?

Mm -mm.

They paid me a lot more.

But after they got Trinity taken out, the federal withholding, the state

withholding, the unemployment compensation, the state disability

then this extra goody they slipped on me at the last minute, a $2 charge for

getting my dishwashing uniform cleaned.

You know something, baby? If I'd work for them a few more hours, I'd end up

owing them 10 bucks.

All we need now is $70.

Which we had before I went to the hospital.

Oh, James, I'm so sorry.

For what, baby? For needing your appendix out? But it took every cent we

Now you work all day and then you take an extra job working all night.

Oh, James, I'm sorry.

Now, baby, you say you're sorry one more time, I'm going to give you something

to be sorry about here. Now, I'm telling you, we're going to be just fine. But

we still have this piece of paper. Keep her here. And Monty told me don't worry

about it. He said everything's going to be all right. Anybody home?

Ooh -wee, the hawk is really biting out there this morning.

It's so cold in that hallway, I rub my face and cut my finger on my eyelashes.

I can get a warm welcome at a Klan meeting.

Florida, what's the problem today?

An eviction notice that says final.

Oh, Lord.

Which don't mean a thing.

Now, let's talk about something else. How was that date you had last night,

Wilona? Yeah.

That's what I'm going to tell you.

Six foot two.

Shoulders out to here.

And a smile that lit up the night.

And he mugged me.

I tell you, the way my luck is running, I'm thinking of joining a monastery.

A convent, Wilona. Only men go to monasteries. Quiet, Thelma.

know what she's saying.

Okay, Eddie, you clear off that desk over there.

Oh, hi, folks.

We thought you might have been gone already.

Gone? What the hell you think you're doing here? And take your hats off in my

house.

We're here to remove the contents of this apartment.

Due to non -payment of rent and pursuant to Article 5 of the lease agreement

between the family name Evans and the project.

Yeah, well, unless both of you are out of here in six seconds, the only thing

you're going to be removing is some knuckles from your face, which is

to the end of my fist.

Well, why don't you call your friend Monty? He said he'll take care of it,

didn't he?

Oh, Florida?

Monty is a wino, James, and nobody knows that better than you.

What was I going to do, baby? I took two jobs to try and pull the money

together. That didn't work out. I had to have something to hang my hopes on.

Damn. You jive, dude.

You got some job for a brother, putting other brothers out on the street.

Well, I know it ain't as classy as Secretary of State, but that job was

took.

Well, I'll bet folks are always telling you how much you look like that fine

Billy Dee Williams.

Oh, yeah, that happens.

But usually only at... fiction time.

You may also tell you look like, uh, Sidney Poitier.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they do.

Folks lie to you a lot, don't they?

Look, folks, I got 15 bucks I've been saving for a rainy day. It's yours.

Well, thanks, Malona, but I ain't taking no money from friends.

Then make an enemy then, a buck's a buck.

And old man Sweeney says he'll give me $10 for this painting. You can have

And I'll give the $2 I've been saving for law school.

But you can't let J .J. give away the first painting he ever painted. It's

Michael. I'll pay another one.

Michael, you give that back. No.

The only way anybody gets this painting is over my dead body.

I appreciate y 'all offering to help like that, but Thelma, you keep saving

the fro, here.

And J .J., you put the painting back, son.

And boy...

I believe you can skip lawyer and go right on to president. Thank you, Daddy.

But boy, is a white racist word.

Michael.

Well, I'm sorry, folks, but we're going to have to move your stuff on out of

here. Oh, now, come on, man. Give me a little play. All I need is some time.

Well, what if we was to juggle and move two of our afternoon invitations up to

the morning? Now, that way you'd have until 5 o 'clock. Thanks. That's all the

time I need, man. Thank you. 5 o 'clock.

Well, thanks, brother. Thanks.

Well, baby, I got to 5 o 'clock to get us $72.

I don't know but one way to get it.

James, don't you dare go into that closet.

What's he going to do, Mama? He's getting his pool cue.

Dino Mike.

It's been years since I used this thing, but I still shoot a pretty good stick.

James, I don't want you hustling no pool. You promised.

I also promised to take care of my family. Now, if anybody here knows

way I can raise the rent by 5 o 'clock, I'll lay this up.

And Thelma can follow a couple of simple moves. I got this department store so

we can run. We can have the money like that.

Let's talk about pulling a hustle one more time, James Jr., and I'm going to

a knot in your tongue.

I know they got emergency funds down at the welfare, Florida. No good, Malona. I

ain't taking no handouts.

James, the Lord don't want you hustling no pool.

Yeah, well, I'm going to have to work out an understanding with the Lord some

other time, Florida. Now, move on.

And man always could move.

Well, Anna, don't all the magazines say that our women are supposed

to be heads of the house? They sure do.

Somebody ought to tell James.

I tell you, Mama, give me and Thelma three hours. One stop down at Marshall

Fields and one stop down at...

in that child's tongue and he's still got two yards left over for flapping.

Now, you're not to leave the apartment and that's that.

Well, you come on. I'm going to take you down to the welfare.

Come on.

What a day.

James Jr.

hassling me to go out and do something illegal.

James Sr.

out hustling pool, which is immoral.

You trying to drag me off to the welfare office, which is embarrassing.

You know what my horoscope said this morning? What?

Let a smile be your umbrella.

Suppose Daddy don't get the money at the pool hall and Mama don't get the money

at welfare.

I tell you, we got to do something.

I don't want to have nothing to do with none of your lame hustles. I'm too fine

for that.

Look, stupid.

We got to do something before they throw you out on the sidewalk.

We're going to freeze your fine right off.

Now, I told you all the plan.

All we got to do is eke out a little sympathy from some strangers. And while

we're eking out the sympathy, the sympathy will be eking out the money.

You see, Thelma, it's not dealing.

It's eking.

Come on, Thelma. Let's try it. Yeah, try it, Thelma. I'll show you all how easy

the hustle is.

Here we are at Marshall Fields Department Store, going through evolving

Michael, you go over there. You play the floor manager.

I'll pretend like I'm a shopper. Dumber, do your thing.

Do it, too, Dumber.

Oh, my.

I think I'm going to faint. Oh!

Holy cow.

Poor little girl has fainted here.

and Marshall Fields Department Store.

All right, folks, let me through here. I'm Michael, the floor manager of

Marshall Fields Department Store, so step aside.

Poor little girl has fainted.

Looks like she hasn't had a meal in weeks.

Look, floor manager, this is the first time you've ever seen her, so you don't

know she ain't had a meal. Stop padding your path.

I'll get to him, Thelma.

You tried.

Imagine being turned down because James made $100 too much last year.

I didn't know $4 ,200 was the limit for a family with three kids.

Now, I got a great idea.

If you just had one more kid... Thanks a lot, Wilona.

But I'll need at least nine months' notice.

You know, if we were rich and needed some emergency funds, we'd get it just

that. But rich folks don't take welfare, do they? No, they call it subsidy.

Come to pick up some of that long green, huh?

Yeah, but they didn't give me none of that long green.

So maybe you better get lost, long black.

That's cold, Mama.

That's cold. You might as well stop wasting your breath.

Which, from the size of your chest, looks like it's in short supply anyway.

But your name... Ain't you got nothing better to do than hang around bothering

poor innocent women?

Nope.

Hey there, foxy mama.

My name is Wes.

You messin' with Wes, you messin' with the best. Yeah?

Well, if you're the best, I pity the rest.

ever seen whoever marries you going to forget about the better and settle for

the worse why don't you two stop fussing can't we have a little unity around

here hey man you guys said

five o 'clock it ain't but a little bit after four yeah i'm sorry but two

families came up with the rent and messed up our whole day come on

Poor child ain't had nothing to eat in two weeks but some bad oatmeal.

Michael, I think she's going fast.

Where am I?

Marshall Fields.

Yeah, Marshall Fields. You hear that? Poor child's delirious. Think she's at

Marshall Fields.

I was saving for a new watch. And I got $4 .60 I was just holding on to for my

retirement. Thank you, brothers.

On behalf of my sick sister and us, we'd like to say thank you for your kindness

and generosity.

What's going on here?

What you two got Thelma laid out like that for?

She fainted from lack of food.

The hell you say.

If that girl waved like she eat, it'll take six of you to lift her.

What kind of hustle you got going on here? Ain't no hustle, Mama.

Don't listen to herself.

All the blood rushed right out of her head. Yeah, and all that sense is

right out of yours.

Get up from there.

Did you get that money from them?

He sure did.

I never seen three more jive kids in my life.

Dishonorable, disrespectful, unlawful. Hold on there, Buster.

Nobody puts my kids down around here but me.

Tell the Lord you're sorry, kids.

Sorry, Lord.

Now, if that's good enough for him, it better be good enough for you.

Come on, Eddie.

Don't you touch a thing.

You waited this long. You can wait a minute longer. You gonna make him wait

Daddy, Mama?

Not the father you're thinking about.

Lord, I know it ain't right to ask for selfish things, but

we need help bad, and we need it fast.

I know you don't want to see this family out in the street.

Lord, you gotta help us.

I'm asking for my children.

Dad, I know you do, but you got the... You better believe I got the money.

How'd you do it, Daddy?

How did I do it? Son, I just made the greatest three -cushion shot in the

history of Elmo's pool emporium.

But Mama ain't gonna like the rent money coming from the pool.

Yeah, and I got that all figured out. Now, what your Mama don't know won't

her, huh? Go on back over there.

Come on.

Monty, you ready?

Here you go.

Hello, James.

How did it go?

Oh, not so good, baby. I guess the Lord didn't intend for me to come by the

money that way.

Well, I guess we better get on with what we're here for.

Wait a minute, man. Do I hear a knock at the door?

I said, do I hear a knock at the door?

Yeah, that's right, sir.

Hey, Marty, come on in, man.

What you doing here?

I failed you once, James, when I told you I could stop the eviction.

But couldn't fail you twice, so I come with the full...

$104 .50.

Well, Monty, that's wonderful.

Did you hear that, Florida? My friend Monty has saved the day.

Monty, are you all

right, man?

Yeah.

See, Florida?

I told you it was going to be all right. It's like a miracle, James.

Well, baby, you always did say the Lord moves in mysterious ways.

Well, gang, what a day. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you that we still got a roof over our heads.

Thank you that the children didn't have to do nothing illegal.

And thank you that we didn't have to go on welfare.

And, Lord, I thank you, too, for that great three -cushion shot.

It sure is nice having all the family together like this.

Yeah, it's even nicer that we're indoors instead of out in the street.

And I want to watch a real good flick tonight.

And I want to watch an all -black show for a change.

Well, where are you going to find one? Here's one. The Los Angeles Lakers

against the Milwaukee Bulls.

Just looking out of the window, watching the asphalt grow,

thinking how it all looks when we die.

Good times, good times, keeping your head above water,

making a way when you can.

Temporary layoffs. Good times. Good times is recorded on tape before a live

audience.

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