Original subtitles

I do not believe you're reading the horoscope.

You know, it's just a made -up mumbo -jumbo.

Really? It says here you're a selfish, spiteful bitch.

If it also says I ain't paying for your lunch, it's dead on.

Hey,

William. We just got here. Why don't you come join us?

Oh, not today.

I'm afraid I wouldn't be very good company.

William, don't be ridiculous.

You're never good company.

Thanks.

That's exactly what I needed to hear.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I had to go out and see what other disappointments

this day has in store for me.

What's up with Eeyore?

Isn't it obvious?

No, if it was, I wouldn't be asking.

So what is it?

I don't know. I was just hoping it was obvious.

Hey to you, too.

Oh, you got jokes, huh?

Uh, excuse me.

Thank you.

Where's your little fiancé?

Lena's waiting out in the car.

Oh, well, that's probably for the best. I wouldn't want someone in the courtyard

claiming they saw some hooties all up in service.

I see I'm not the only one got jokes.

Oh, honey, I ain't joking.

Anyway...

I'll be back to pick him up as soon as Lena and I get back from San Diego.

I'll see you next week, big man.

All right.

All right.

All right.

I hope you're hungry, baby, because dinner is going to be ready in about ten

minutes.

Ew, what are you cooking?

What kind of, uh, food?

The kind you're gonna eat, love, and not ask me any more questions about. Now

get over here and take out the trash.

Bar, I said get over here and take out the trash.

I'll do it later. I'm in the middle of a game.

And I'm in the middle of not caring.

I said get your butt up and get over there and take out the trash.

What's the matter?

Legs broken?

No, but your ass is about to be.

Wait, who do you think you're talking to?

And you know better than to even answer that question.

When I tell you to do something, Jabari, you do it.

Now, you know what? I really don't know what's gotten into you lately.

Okay, but I will take off my belt and I will get with... Spank me?

Too old.

Well, you are not too old for me to run you over.

You better play like the garbage man before I go and find my car keys.

You know what, Jabari? As a matter of fact, as a matter of fact, you're on

punishment. No TV, no video games, no phone, no nothing.

No, give it.

Give it!

I called

him.

Hey,

William. Mind if we join you? Yes.

Just want to be alone.

William, you can't hog a whole four -person booth.

Can too.

Damn him and his lawyer logic. Girls, sit down.

William, two days in a row you have been sitting here in a funk, refusing to

have lunch with us. What is up?

I'm in a bad mood.

I want to be left alone.

We're your friends, William.

Smog test.

And?

And?

It's a top -of -the -line car.

It's made of the art German engineering.

It's not supposed to fail a smog test.

And?

And what else is there? What am I supposed to do?

Get it fixed? And get over it?

I knew you wouldn't understand.

Just leave me alone.

Oh, my God. Who gets upset over a smog test?

See something else. What's going on in his life?

Nothing really since he broke up with Joan.

Wait, that's it.

He's upset because of Joan.

You mean Joan's the reason he failed his smog test?

That bitch.

No, it has nothing to do with the smog test. It's their breakup.

We've been so preoccupied with Joan's needy ass.

But it's not too late. We can still be there for him. Yeah.

Tony.

Oh, I wasn't suggesting we actually do something about it.

Oh, God.

William.

Sweetie.

We know that you're still hurting over your breakup with Joan.

And I blame us because we haven't really been there for you.

What? Yes, William, Joan is our best friend in the world, but you're our

too? Our fifth, maybe sixth best friend in the world?

Your feelings count?

Seventh, maybe eighth.

I was just fifth.

I forgot a couple people.

William, just let it out. Talk to her.

Talk to her about what?

Joan and I split up.

It was mutual.

I'm okay with it. What I'm not okay with is that damn smog test.

Stop the facade.

You're hurt and you need to mourn. You can't start the healing until you start

the feeling.

I got that little nugget in therapy.

Okay, we are not leaving until you embrace your pain about Joan.

Mm -hmm, mm -hmm, mm -hmm.

Okay, fine.

I'm hurt.

Yeah.

I'm devastated.

Joan broke my heart.

Good.

Even though Joan is our friend, you're our friend too, so just don't hold back.

Okay.

I think Joan is a deeply disturbed woman.

She's completely self -absorbed, possibly heartless, definitely incapable

love. Hey, watch it, number two!

bit of a mood you figured out what's going on with him i don't know what his

problem is you know but if he doesn't shape up he's gonna be on punishment

he's old enough to put his own kids on punishment girl thank you so much for

watching him under such short notice oh my god it's no problem maya it is not

every day that one of my girls does an interview

Boy is on punishment, okay? So no TV, no video games, no music. In fact,

anything that feels like it's going down the road of fun, don't do.

Got it.

No Jones happy time charade crusade.

Nah, girl, you can do that.

That's each other's last.

All right, Jabari.

I'll be back in a few hours, okay?

I love you.

Love you, too.

That's my baby.

All right, girl. I'll check in with you in a few hours. Okay. See you later.

Bye.

So, Jabari, Auntie Jo thinks that she figured out a way to get around the no

fun rule.

Racing Swiffers!

Okay.

Maybe not.

Joan. Oh, hey, Joan.

Bad news.

What?

It's going to be hard for you to hear, but as our number one friend, I've got

tell you what number 10 said about you.

William said something about me?

He said that you're deeply troubled, self -absorbed, heartless, incapable of

love, and stingy with your gas card.

Shut up. Are you on empty or not?

Well, why would he say that?

Because he's really hurting over your breakup.

What are you talking about? William and I are getting along great.

No, you are getting along great. He's keeping his emotions bottled up, but we

finally got him to open up to us.

That doesn't sound right.

I'm going to call him. Yeah, girl, work that out.

Communication is very important.

I learned that in therapy, too.

Hey, what's your pizza doing here?

I'm watching Jabari while Maya does the Jet Magazine interview.

Oh.

Hey, William.

It's Joan. Can you call me, please?

Hey, Jolly Rancher.

Jabari. Why is he yelling at me in gibberish?

He's upset because his mom put him on punishment. No TV, no music, and no

games. Uh, does he know that?

Well, uh, Jabari, your mom said no video games. Put that away, please.

Ask children to do something. You tell them.

Look ahead, Jafifi.

You know you're on punishment, so this game is mine, okay? Until I say so,

understand?

You can't tell me what to do. You're not my mama.

As long as nobody's looking, I don't need to be your mama.

Come on, Tony. He's just a kid.

Obviously, he's upset about something.

Jafari, sweetie, you're just a kid, and obviously you're upset about something.

But sometimes it helps to tell a grown -up.

Grown -ups have real jobs, and you don't. So technically, you're not a real

grown -up.

Duh! I wasn't talking about me.

You guys, it's awfully quiet back there.

Do you think maybe I should go check on Jabari?

Girl, take from someone who had a gang load of brothers.

If a teenage boy's in a room alone and it's quiet, don't go in.

How did it go?

I'm going to be a champ!

You know, right after a champ any other week.

So, how's your boy?

You mean Rose Maya's baby?

Oh, no. What did he do?

Well, let's see.

He sneaked over his Game Boy, and when we asked him to put it away, he

disrespected me, Tony, and Lynn.

Oh, my God. He is going to get it. Where is he? He's back in my room.

Jabari! Get your little butt out here!

That's right. Make a lot of noise. Let them know you're coming.

I hope she's not too hard on him.

I'll call you as soon as I know anything, okay?

Maya, I'm so sorry.

I had no idea that Jabari would do something like this.

Maya, I just want to point out that Joan was a babysitter of record.

Technically, she was watching all of us. It's no wonder Lynn didn't wander off.

That's happened. God, please let him be okay.

We're going to find him, Maya.

How do we know that?

How do we know that he wasn't snatched?

That's happened to me, too.

Please,

Jabari, just remember to scream real loud like we practiced.

Hey, relax.

If he didn't get snatched, he's going to be fine, and we will find him.

I don't know why he's been acting up so much lately.

I know that I haven't been spending that much time with him because of my book,

but, I mean, maybe I should just put all this book stuff on hold.

The book is how you're providing for Jabari.

Then what am I supposed to do?

Don't worry about it. We haven't even found him yet.

He could all be a moot.

Maybe I should let him go live with his father.

Maybe, you know, Darnell can give him the things that I can't anymore.

Maya, stop beating yourself up, okay? It's not your fault.

Yeah, I'm right.

It's your fault.

What? Hey!

I'm not the woman who ignored her child and raised a runaway.

I mean, let's just focus on finding him.

If he doesn't stop acting this way, it's going to end in prison.

Jabari is a good kid. He's not going to jail. No, I am!

him, I'm going to kill him. If I don't find him, I'm going to kill you. Either

way, I'm going to jail. Maya, breathe.

How can I breathe when he could be lying somewhere in a gutter calling out to

his mother?

That's happened to me, too.

Or maybe sipping a smoothie alfresco.

Oh, no, she isn't.

Oh, uh -uh. Pack my prison bag. I'm going in. My waist.

Give me a raspberry raspberry with a bamboo. Go, girl.

answer that.

See, you may think that you're too old for your mama to whoop you.

Newsflash, I ain't your mama.

Do you know that Lena and I had to come all the way back from San Diego because

you wanted to be Christopher Columbus and go explore in a damn neighborhood?

Boy, you better answer me. You better answer your daddy.

You're the kid that ruined your trip.

You know Lena and I had this trip planned for weeks.

All you care about is stupid Lena.

What'd you say?

Nothing.

You better start respecting her. She's going to be your stepmom. I don't want

her as my stepmom.

Why can't you guys just get back together?

Jafari, go to your room with your daddy and I.

It's hurting.

Well, that don't mean he can just go off and act a fool.

No, it doesn't, Darnell, but we gotta do something to help our baby. Well, for

starters, maybe you should stop treating him like a baby.

Oh, so this is my fault?

No, no.

No, it's both of us, okay?

It's just that he's not a baby anymore.

Maybe treat him like he's a young man and start talking to him about what's

going on instead of just telling him how things are gonna be.

Maybe he needs therapy.

Maybe he needs to talk to someone.

Someone who can help him sort out his feelings.

Maya, we are his parents, okay?

We will fix this. And we will.

But why can't we help him, and why can't he get help from therapy?

Look, we ain't doing therapy.

It's a bunch of nonsense.

How is it that somebody that doesn't even know our situation, how are they

to come up in here and give us their two cents? We missed this.

And this is huge.

How many other things are we going to miss?

We'll work harder.

Spend more time with him.

Talk.

Figure out what's going on in his head.

Okay.

Okay, look, all right.

This is what we're gonna do, okay?

Once a week, the three of us will get together, we'll sit down, and we'll

Like therapy.

Like a family.

In which the father is about to marry another woman.

Well, there's all kinds of families.

Joan.

It's so important you couldn't talk to me on the phone about it.

William, you haven't been honest with me about your feelings.

You've been talking to Lucy and Ethel.

You think I'm heartless, self -absorbed, and incapable of love?

Oh, Joan.

I thought our breakup was mutual.

I had no idea that you were harboring all these feelings.

Oh, Joan, I made it up.

I had to tell frickin' Frack something to get him off my back.

Why?

Oh, because I've been in a funk for the past few days.

Dumb and Dumber wouldn't believe me when I told them it was... It's because my

car failed a smog test.

Your car failed a smog test?

supposed to happen with state -of -the -art German engineering?

Who are you telling?

William, you must be devastated.

I haven't slept in two days.

William, why didn't you call me, sweetheart? I would have come right

here. Oh, sweetie.

Joan, I knew you'd understand.

We're perfect together.

Perfect.

Joan, I miss you.

And I think that... William.

We both know. I know, I know.

Better off as friends.

But you know, maybe Cagney and Lacey are right.

Maybe it's about more than just my car failing a smog test.

Maybe I do need some time to mourn.

Depari, we wanted to have a little pair of young men get together.

Touch base. See what's going on.

Talk about any concerns or problems before they become big concerns or

Okay.

Any concerns or problems?

No. How was school today?

Okay. Anything you want to talk about?

No.

All right.

Go get started on your homework.

Okay.

I think that went really great.

And he thought he needed therapy.

You know, next time, Darnell, we should try to get him to answer with more than

one word.

Okay.

Anything else we need to talk about?

No.

I'll see you next week.

Okay.