All language subtitles for Girlfriends s05e16 See J Spot Run

Joan, 25 restaurants open in L .A.
County every month. We need to do

extra.

I'm serving Nouvelle Tapas in an elegant
decor accented by a water feature with

stemware inspired by the color palette
of old Madrid. If that is not extra,

I don't know what is.

You're right, Joan. You don't know what
is.

The only thing people in this town care
about is celebrities.

You're the publicist, so get me some
celebrities.

Darling, they don't just roll out of bed
for tapas.

You have to send a gift basket. You have
to send a car. You have to woo them.

Shandana, I'm paying you the entirety of
my publicity budget. So if you need

gift baskets and town cars, that needs
to come out of your ass.

Honey, on what you pay me, I can only
get a Happy Meal and a Metro Pass.

Then wrap that up in a bow and send it
to Tom Hanks.

Nobody I'm going to offend with your
little bit of money.

Come on.

You must have some celebrity friends or
someone who owes you a favor or someone

you don't like very much.

You know, I've been going through the
publicity budget, and I figured out a

to free up a big chunk of money.

Oh, great.

How? I quit.

wouldn't want to be you.

This movie sucks.

I thought you said it got three and a
half stars.

Yeah, USA Today gave it one, LA Times
gave it one, the Boston Globe gave it a

half.

Well, I'm gonna kill you. We should be
ashamed.

We should be helping John instead of
sitting up in here watching Mariah

latest dramatic effort.

Especially when it's supposed to be a
comedy.

Y 'all ain't giving her a chance. For
real.

You're right. We should go back and help
Joan.

Well, that's what I would do if I didn't
have to pick up Jabari after this

movie.

I got a pregnancy massage.

The ice cream truck comes at three.

Anybody have a quarter? They went up on
the bomb pops.

Well, at least we sent her that big
flower arrangement from the three of us.

From the two of us, Debbie. Stop trying
to put your name on it.

Well, then I'll get her something she
really needs.

Like what?

What can you afford?

Joan needs a celebrity, and you know I
have contact.

And you also have restraining orders.

You just won't start with those people.

You know, I hang to a minute, but the
Debbie's got a good idea.

Yeah, it is a good idea. We should do
that.

Oh, okay, hold up. I can't put my name
on your card, but you could jump on my

idea. How about do you want that bomb
pop?

Welcome aboard our idea.

So should we go and get that celebrity?

Mm -hmm, yeah.

First thing tomorrow. We've done enough
for today.

Joan wanted to liberate people from the
conventions of a traditional restaurant.

You know, inspire conversation.

Introduce a sense of community into this
L .A. self -absorbed mindset.

Huh?

I didn't get it either, but it's in the
press release.

Hello?

Hey, Joan, it's me.

Hey, William.

Oh, hi.

Joan, this is Caroline.

Joan, I've heard so much about you.

I never mentioned Caroline.

Why haven't you?

Would have prevented this very awkward
moment.

So, does anyone know anything about
toilets?

Said in a few. Why, what's going on?

Well, I can't get the plumbers to come
down here and bolt down the toilet, so I

was trying to do it myself.

With a hammer?

Is that wrong?

I better go take a look. I'll be right
back.

Thanks. It was really nice to meet you.
You too.

So, which one of these Johns isn't worth
Jack?

Oh, this one right here to the left.

So, Caroline,

huh? Yeah.

She seems great.

Oh, yeah.

She's a great girl. We have lots of
laughs. Good for you. My laughs are

important.

That's great.

Hey, Joan.

Huh? You don't have a problem with me.

Caroline, do you?

No. No. Okay.

Because I was thinking about bringing
her to the opening.

Oh, that'd be fine.

Bring her.

I'll provide the food. She'll provide
the laughs.

It'll be fun.

You know the Jake spot. It's all about
food, folks, and fun.

You better let me take a look at this
toilet.

It's going to be about food, folks, and
fun.

Unemploy Joan.

At least those Joan cook for us.

Hey, have you guys met William's new
girlfriend?

No, but I'd be happy to if she's cooking
dinner.

At least William's Joan cook for us.

I don't even know he had a girlfriend.

He brought a woman into the restaurant
today and they seemed really happy.

Ah, hell, here comes the real.

She didn't cook because her man has
moved on. Jilted Joan never cooks.

Guys, I'm not depressed. I'm actually
relieved.

This is a good thing.

I mean, now that William has a
girlfriend, things can get back to the

were. I don't have to feel awkward
anymore. And finally, we can get back to

being friends.

So you're really okay about this?

Yes. I'm happy.

Hot damn.

Because happy Joan makes brownies.

Okay.

So, which one of you is going to go up
there and ring the doorbell and give the

invitation to Monique?

You do it. You said you knew her.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did. You said you come over
here all the time to go swimming.

I said I know where Monique lives, and I
know how to get into her pool.

I never met the woman of my life.

Matter of fact, one of you has got to go
up there because she might recognize me

from the security video.

Okay, so wait a minute. We're supposed
to walk up to Monique's house, give her

some crazy -ass invitation, and expect
her to go to Jones' opening?

That's all I got. What's your guess?

You know what? I've given this woman
five years of my life watching the

She can sit it out. eating some damn
tacos.

Hell, that would convince me. Go on up
there and close the deal, Maya.

I'm not going up there by myself.

Fine, I'll go with you. The girl is the
queen of comedy. I might be able to sell

her a castle in the Palisades for a cool
8 .5.

Don't look at me. I'll see what happened
to my castle folder.

night at the Apollo.

Don't make me call the police.

The police?

The police? Come on, don't do it like
that in a sneak.

Okay, girl, we the people.

Oh, yeah.

Because I've been watching y 'all on my
security camera up in my driveway with

that trespassing street rat who swims in
my pool.

Now, y 'all got ten seconds before I
call the Pope. No, no.

I'll be telling some cookies or
something in. Come with some treats or

Well, you need to go out and do
something that doesn't have anything to

your restaurant.

Or any restaurant.

You need to go out and do something
that's wild, impetuous, and fun.

Okay.

What should we do?

Oh, I'm sorry, Joan. Caroline and I
already have plans.

Oh, of course you do.

And you have fun.

Hey, call your girls.

I'm sure they're not doing anything.

We found your dog wandering around the
street, and, well, we brought him back

you. Give me my baby. Give me my dog.

You're welcome.

You skinny bitches can work a nerve, but
good thing I can work a panty button.

Wait, Mama.

Before you call the pom -pom, hear us
out.

What is it that you want, baby?

You want me to read a script or speak at
your church function?

You want me to be God -mommy to your
baby?

Because I've heard it all, done it all,
and made a truckload of money doing it

all. But, damn it, I'm tired.

Now, I just want to sit down and rest,
okay?

So please, leave me the hell alone and
get off my property.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa,
whoa.

What? Our friend is opening up a
restaurant.

Block on, girl.

No, girl.

You have to eat sometime, right?

Why not do it at a hot new restaurant?

Help a sister out.

You got five seconds, sister, before I
go Baltimore on you.

So cliche, so desperate, so done.

Mm -hmm.

I mean, and you know they don't pay for
anything.

Guys, I know what you're trying to do.

And it's very sweet, but I hired my
publicist back.

And she is, in fact, bringing me a
celebrity.

Woo! Girl, that's good. There's only a
restaurant opening in this town. I know

what else I'm going to do. Should be
told. I was about to be a little

embarrassed for you.

Oh, my God.

Here's William and his new girlfriend.
Aren't they cute together?

Looks like our J -spot is a rip -roaring
success.

Yeah, oh, I want you to see outside.

I want you to see the fire pit while
it's lit.

Oh, so they fixed the gas leak.

Oh, yeah.

So far, so good.

Oh, Caroline, I'm so glad that you could
make it. Oh, thanks for inviting me.

Of course I didn't invite William's new
girlfriend.

Oh, we're not dating.

Yeah, we're just friends.

What made you think that we were a
couple?

That we were in?

You wanted to hang out, and you said you
had a date.

No, I didn't. I said I had plans.

In fact, we were rehearsing a little
song and dance for you. To celebrate the

opening of the J -Spot.

Oh. Joan used to be a lawyer.

But now she's not.

Opened up a restaurant.

It's called the J -Spot. She'll be
serving small plates.

Cocktails and whatnot.

Welcome to her restaurant.

It's called the J -Spot.

I forgot to tell the chef something.
I'll be back.

I knew we should have done it to the
tune of Me So Horny.

Oh, excuse me. Can I get some salt,
please?

Can I get a towel?

You can't be in here pouting on your
opening.

Girl, you need to be out there
celebrating. Worry about that man later.

Why can't I celebrate when I'm
miserable?

Okay, well, I'm always getting sucked
into skinny bitches' drama.

Why? Now, the other day, three skinny
bitches shot up in my door and stole my

dog. That is terrible.

It's almost like losing your best
friend. No, no, sugar, don't touch

me. Let me go find this man. This is a
damn shame.

Not him.

Okay, well, he is kind of cute. You
know, maybe y 'all can work something

I want my friend.

Well, uh, I hate to let a good man go to
waste, okay? Now, why don't you wait

for me over at the bar here and get me
some of those bougie hot pockets, okay?

I love you.

What? You didn't want to?

This is great.

I've always thought of myself as a
professor type.

Wouldn't have taken me five years to get
with you, though.

Listen, I didn't bring you in here to
run game on me, okay?

Talk to her.

I got a man at the bar waiting to pop my
weasel, baby. Pow!

Joe, what's wrong?

Why are you crying?

Because I lost my friend.

Which one of them was it?

Tony Meyer... because I can make a case
why neither one of them is much of a

friend. Or much of a loss.

I meant you, William.

What are you talking about? We're still
friends. No, we're not.

Not really. I mean, I know I was weird
after we broke up, but you can't pop

the weasel all willy -nilly with some
woman that you just met.

That was ours, William.

Well, Joan, I tried to be friends with
you, but you kept pushing me away,

remember?

I wanted to play Simon Says, and you
wouldn't say?

I just needed some time.

Joan, look at me.

We're going to get through this.

Caroline's just a... Just a rebound
friend?

No, she's a great girl. We're going to
be friends for life.

But that shouldn't take away from you
and me.

There's always going to be William and
Joan.

All right.

You know you're gorgeous.

That was close.

How long do you think we should stay in
here? Until the place closes.

I'm not taking any chances with Miss
Momo.

I knew you dog -stealing skinny bitches
was in here.

Oh, God. Help me up.