All language subtitles for Girlfriends s05e03 A Mile in Her Loubous

Jabari, you've got to stop asking people
if they recognize me, okay?

You know I'm only famous if they spot
me.

Yeah, but you're in a book. You got
crazy cash.

Boy, you are so crazy, okay? Rich people
don't shop at big lots. They live on

bigger lots.

So, Mom, $25 ,000 is a lot of cash.

Okay, you know what, Jabari? Let me show
you what your mama did with her $25

,000, okay?

I want you to look at this.

Right? I paid off the credit cards,
taxes, tuition, and put aside money for

college fund.

Oh, you did all that? Mm -hmm. And my
budget book says I still have $300 left.

That there is my mad money baby.

Actually, Mom, it's $500.

I'm tracking wrong.

I see that.

Two.

Oh, hot damn! Look at that!

You're right!

Okay. My baby is so smart.

No, your baby's rich.

You owe me a dollar for the curse jar.

Hell no.

No? Yeah, me too.

Here.

Why? Mm -hmm. You only said two curse
words. The day is young. You're being a

pain in my ass. I got two more coming.

Oh, Maya, these are snazzy.

$495 for some shoes? Oh, hell no. Yes.

Oh, hell yes.

Girl, don't forget the mantra that's
going to make us millions.

Tomorrow's your birthday.

Splurge. Try to put a splurge in all
$500 in one spot.

Well, what did you plan on doing? Diving
it up over 500 trips to the 99 -cent

store? I don't know.

Look, you know what?

I know the manager here, so maybe I can
get you some sort of deal.

I don't really want to do this because
he's kind of weird.

He's always hitting on me.

But it's your birthday.

Now, what the hell?

Trent!

Hey, seven medium.

You ready to let a brother hook up those
pretty brown arches?

Actually, I brought you a new customer,
and she wants the Joan treatment.

With or without the foot massage?

Without.

Honey, I'm going to have this salmon.
What are you going to have? Oh, I can't

even think about food. Morning sickness,
my ass. For me, it's been all damn day

sickness.

Honey,

let the bathroom do that.

Oh, I'm sorry if I'm ruining your lunch.
It's not just me.

Everybody's looking.

Oh, well, excuse me. I'm just carrying
life here.

Joan, everybody in the world seems to
have a problem with my pregnancy.

Especially my husband.

Oh, God, I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't mean
to be insensitive.

I know you're going through a lot.

I mean, my God, Todd leaves you
pregnant, and now he won't even talk to

what's the ETA on this activity?

Just know that I'm praying for you and
Todd, okay?

Thank you, Joe.

Sometimes I feel so alone in all of
this. Sweetheart, you know I'm always

for you. God, Tony, will you go outside
and do that by yourself?

Hi, William.

Your friends should at least mask their
contempt.

I know I do.

Hello, Jones.

Hey, do you remember Monica? Of course
she does.

She's Joan and I are old friends.

Oh, William tells me you could practice
in law. What are you doing with yourself

now? I'm actually working on a few
ideas.

Yeah, of course you are. Excuse me,
miss.

Grab us a table.

Something tucked away would be nice.

So you don't want to go join her in the
bathroom?

No. We just do that on airplanes.

Not much novelty to the sea level club.

You know, we haven't really talked since
we got back from New York.

How you doing?

Good.

Did you get my message?

Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't return your
call. I've been swamped. Really?

With what?

I have a life to plan, William.

I'm busy, too. At least I can return a
phone call.

Yeah, well, that's what makes me me and
you you, though. Ta -ta.

Bye -bye. Don't mock me, William.

Okay. Well, uh, we can all just get
caught up at Maya's birthday party.

going, right, Joan?

I don't plan my life, William. I live
it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a life
to plan.

Live.

Stop mocking me.

So sad when the unemployed start
drinking.

pregnancy is messing with my eyesight,
but are those blue boots?

Yes. Did you get them out of my closet?

No, please. I got these for my birthday.

Yes, and don't hate. She bought them
with her mad money.

Girl, you gonna be swimming in mad money
now that you got your book deal.

Oh, which reminds me.

I'm working on getting you a boot down
at the International Weave and Hairpiece

Forum down at the forum.

We can tie your book in with a new
product I'm working on called the Oh

Weave. Get it? If someone asks, is that
your real hair?

You say, oh hell yes.

Honey, I just don't weave hair. I weave
concepts.

Lynn,

is something up with Joan?

Oh, well, let's see.

She's neurotic, hopelessly single.

Neurotic about being hopelessly single.

Sounds like normal Joan to me.

It's just that ever since New York,
things have been awkward between us.

First, she doesn't return my phone call.
Then I bump into her and she runs off

acting crazy, muttering about having a
life.

She said she had a life?

That is crazy.

Hey, Maya.

Happy birthday!

I'm sorry I'm late. That's okay.

Oh, here you go.

Oh, and this is my date, Trent.

You remember Maya and Ronnie and this is
Lynn and, oh yeah, that's William.

Um, were we supposed to bring dates?

Count them chicken breasts. What do you
think?

Well, William brought Monica, didn't he?
No, William brought a bottle of wine.

You just brought another mouth to feed.

Um, no offense, Trent, but you might
want to fill up on the crew today.

Hey, Joan.

Hey, Judy.

What are you doing with our shoe guy?

We're dating.

You know, going on dates and stuff.

You and our shoe guy?

Yeah.

He's pregnant.

Taquitos.

Nice setup, William.

What are you talking about?

You said you were bringing Monica.

When? You said we would all catch up at
Maya's birthday.

Yeah, all of us.

What does that have to do with Monica?

Nothing. I knew that.

Look, you know what, William? I let you
down as easily as I could. So let's just

relax and be friends, okay? Because all
these games are childish and

unnecessary.

Would you fix me a drink, sweetie?

All I'm saying is the shoes tell you
everything you need to know about a

For example, you can tell from my
Kenneth Cole fall collection lace -up

with the double -stitch detail that I
have European style and a great sense of

humor.

Ain't that right, baby, too?

Is that pregnancy?

No.

Does anyone want more of William's wine?

Just bring me the bottle.

Oh, I...

Well, since you brought it, you've got
to serve it. What's wrong with you?

Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just having
a wonderful evening with a wonderful

man. And if that's wrong, then I don't
want to be right.

What's up?

Indeed. You think because your cold,
hard, cap -tone lace -ups are a perfect

match for her white dick or keep them
all glitter -luba thongs, you can move

on my girl?

What?

Just now.

Baby toe is mine.

What?

Happy birthday, Maya! Hey!

I didn't want to come empty -handed.

What else did I want to get out of my
car?

So, I bought these off the guy who
forcibly washed my window. Good deal,

hundred bucks.

Hey, you guys. I want you to meet Tam
Carnovich, my hot new literary agent.

Oh, please. You're embarrassing me. Hey,
if anyone's hot... I mean, it's her.

I'm just here to make sure she cleans
up.

I mean, cleans up financially.

I don't mean to suggest that Maya would
be cleaning for me.

No. I haven't had a black housekeeper
since I was a little boy.

Not that I don't support black business.
This $200 bean pie speaks to that.

MK, talk to me.

Excuse me.

Are you firing me as your agent?

My agent?

Boy, please.

Your nipple ring must be on too tight.

Well, ain't this a blip?

As soon as her sister gets her 40 acres
and a mule, she gets herself a white

man. Wait, wait. Are you serious?

As sickle cell.

Did I or did I not wheel and deal to get
you hooked up with Intervision Press?

Did I or did I not get you first class
accommodations in New York?

Oh, hell.

Did I or did I not all but put those
lubus on your crusty little feet?

Wait, wait, wait, Ronnie.

Please. You ain't nobody's agent.

All you did was take a phone call in
between the birds.

Child, without me, you would still be
peddling that homemade pamphlet down at

the swap meet in your jelly.

Okay, come on, Ronnie, please. You don't
know anything about being an agent.

We're family.

It's business.

You know what?

I am tripping.

Thank you. This is business.

That's all this is trying to say to you.
That's why I'm going to need my 10 %

commission off your land.

What's this? What's this? Who's talking
10 %? Wait, ain't nobody getting 10 % of

any of that money, okay? You, Tim, I
just signed, and you, I didn't never

Oh, we're talking past money? No, 10K is
all about future money.

Love the idea. Yeah.

Go ahead. Huh?

Whoa, hold on.

Forgot I was in the hood.

Am I beneath Wilkes?

My blood pressure is rising, so I'm
going to make this simple.

I want my money, you little backstabbing
biatch.

Okay, what was that?

You know, I really don't know. Okay, and
on my birthday too?

He's tripping.

Maya, why would he think he's your
agent? I mean, have you ever talked to

about representing you? Like I said. all
he did was answer a phone call. Okay,

but it was me selling the book. You
know, yeah, he inspired me to turn my

into a book. And, yeah, he let me sell
the book out of his shop. You know, but

he may have said something about, you
know, being my agent and taking 10%. If

this goes to court, you may want to play
the race card.

That's real lawyerly.

What is it with you? Hey, step off my
baby's hip.

What?

Look, he may have said all that, okay?
But we all know that Ronnie's just one

big old drama queen, okay? We're family.

Yeah, he helped me out. But you know
what? That is no different from us

each other out. Like, Lynn, when I asked
you to put my towels in the dryer, you

don't take 10 % of my towels.

Actually, that's how I've been playing
it.

You know what?

Ronnie and I always fight and we always
make up. This is what we do.

And I'm sure by the time I go and get my
hair done on Saturday, I'll be as sad

as my wife.

Let's, uh, let's just say that, like my
weave, Ronnie and I are hanging on by a

thread.

Well, you better do something, because
you can't keep walking around looking

like you just lost a fight with a weed
whacker.

But he won't talk to me.

He'll talk to me.

You know, the gay boys love me.

Ronnie. Okay, Ronnie.

Look, I'm not here to talk about who's
right or who's wrong or who owes what to

whom. I'm just here to show you a toe
-up mess.

Exhibit A, B, and C.

Unless you have a picture of that heifer
writing me a check, I'm not interested.

Oh, my word, this is a hair of cause.

Somebody rev up the situation, Style
Mobile. We are on a mission to mercy,

I'm going to need backup.

Presses, curlers, crimpers, grab your
gear. This is not a dream.

Nobody is going anywhere.

But, Ronnie, we took an oath.

Anyone who leaves this salon is fired.

Like I said, that nappy head heifer can
rot in hell.

Come on, Ronnie, this is stupid.

Tell me, what makes you think you're
entitled to that money? It's not like

and Maya had a contract.

In order to have a legally binding
contract, you need the following things.

Offer, acceptance, consideration,
mutuality of obligation, and a meeting

minds. So it's so.

Facto. You owe him his money.

So Ronnie picked up legalese for
dummies. Let me talk to him. See what he

when he goes up against a... A what?

An unemployed junior partner who wasn't
senior partner material?

Girl, they're words, not mine.

Okay, Joan, just so that we're clear,
you're going in as my friend, not my

lawyer. Because I don't want you
boohooing about billable hours.

Fool me once.

Shame on you, Maya.

I didn't know he's been doing your hair
for free every week for the last 15

years. Well, so what? We're family.
Maya, if he had been charging you, you'd

him $35 ,000.

Plus tip.

Obviously, I'm the only one here who
knows how to negotiate. Now, catch me up

the particulars, but keep it brief,
because y 'all know I'm pregnant, and I

a very short attention span.

Hey.

Well,

did you see Ronnie?

Yeah.

You like?

Talk to you privately.

Excuse me.

So, are you ready to work your way from
employee discount to free of charge baby

toe?

I find that disturbing on so many
levels.

I got your messages.

All 31.

And I just felt that I owed it to you to
come down here and say this to you in

person. This isn't working.

Oh. You don't return a pair of shoes
after wearing them once.

Trent, let me explain this to you in a
way that you can understand.

You're a strong and rugged man like a
pair of Cresta hiking boots.

But at the end of the day, I'm not
thinking about Cresta. I'm thinking

Blahnik, Chew, and Lubu.

Joan, those are all women's shoes. What
are you trying to say, you're a lesbian?

Yes. Big one.

Hey!

So, are you here for some shoes or for
some storeroom lovin', baby toe?

I'm not seeing Trent anymore, William.
All right. You know what?

I don't need your commentary on my love
life.

First you claim to have a life.

Any claim to have a love life? Look,
it's your work.

By the way, I love those shoes you had
on at Maya's party last night.

Oh.

You noticed my shoes?

Yes. I thought they'd look totally hot
on Monica. That's why I'm here.

To get her a pair.

What were they called?

William, Monica cannot wear my shoes.

Of course not. Monica's got dainty feet.

You're over there straddling a pair of
banana boats.

William?

A woman doesn't want another woman
wearing her shoes.

I'll get them in taupe.

William, don't you get what... Don't you
get what I'm saying?

No, but I never do.

So that's okay.

Look, when we got back from New York, I
was afraid things were going to be

awkward between us.

Then he started acting all crazy, and I
thought it was because of what had

happened. But then it hits me, you are
crazy.

And that's okay.

So we're okay.

Come on, give me a hug, baby toe.

You're barking up the wrong tree.

Baby toe just came out the shoebox.

What?

Uh -oh.

Stop, drop, and roll.

Ronnie, we need to talk.

Okay, I'm tired of all the bickering,
and I want the drama to end.

If you want the drama to end, why did
you went to stage right looking on

Boulevard?

Peaches, this is not about my hair.

Well, it needs to be.

Okay, you know what?

I'm going to write you a check, okay,
Ronnie, and swash that.

After consulting with my attorney, Joan
Clayton Esquire...

I think this matter would be best
settled in court.

Oh, you know what? Do not make me take
this rap off my head.

Oh, for the love of God, no.

Give Nappy whatever she wants, Ronnie.

Clearly, this is what it's going to take
to get some peace in the family and

hopefully get my hair done.

Do you even know what this is about?
Yes, you've been whining about your

money, so here, here's your check. This
was never about money.

It wasn't even about you just getting an
agent.

It was about the way you did it. Without
acknowledging my contributions to your

success.

Maya, I've known you since you were just
a notion.

But your friends were all up and through
the dedication.

You couldn't even name one of the
hypothetical characters after me.

Ronnie.

Thank you.

Thank you.

for believing in me and encouraging me
and negotiating on my

behalf. And I sincerely hope that $2
,500 goes some

small way towards showing you my
gratitude.

I'm going to certainly put your money
where your mouth is.

Come here, girl.

And FYI,

Let you know, not for the matter, okay,
that I had to pull that $2 ,500 out of

Jabari's college fund.

Hmm. Just because that boy got a fund
doesn't mean he's going to college.

Okay, look.

If and when Jabari goes to college, I'm
good for $2 ,500.

You gonna hang on to that money for six
years? What about my interest?

Well, what about my tip?

We swear.

Who's doing me?

So you're telling me you get a dollar
for each curse word your mom says?

Yep. And you're okay with a 50 -50
split?

That's cool.

All right.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Hey, Maya.

Watch the master.

Hey, uh, Maya, I'm here as apartment
manager, and I'm gonna need the rent

The hell you are.

And your grandma's squirrels? Lost them.

Damn you, Lynn.

And you know that the day Tony called
you ghetto?

Boozy bitch.