Original subtitles

Guys, I'm telling you, Ellen and I are good.

We are really good.

Well, I'm better.

Tony Child, Garrett, has been happily married to her little doctor for three

months. Mm -hmm.

That's a month longer than I hold him to a pair of shoes.

Okay, but I got you all beat.

Because I'm in a nine -month relationship with a passionate poet who

me any.

And I'm not suicidal.

So what's up with that?

Isn't this great?

You guys, this is a first.

Honestly, I mean, we all have men, and we're all happy.

Oh.

Sorry, Maya. Oh, no. No, no, please.

Maya is fine, okay? Don't be fine for me.

Maya's happy.

Maya is dining daily on chicken soup for the divorced woman's soul, okay? In

fact, it says right here in Chapter 3, one should court, love, and wed the

And y 'all will have to know, I love me some Maya will.

That's really nice, Maya, but we gotta go. We gotta get back to work.

Girl, I don't work for you anymore.

We're for gullible -ass William who thinks I'm at my desk.

Oh, I mean, no, no, no.

William Dent's office.

Oh, hey, William.

Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, hey, no. Take your time. Enjoy your lunch. I got

everything here at the office covered.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry, what?

Oh, you're eating your lunch at your desk?

Well, like I said, I got things here at the office covered. Enjoy yourself.

Bye.

This is nice, isn't it? Well, it's a little fruity, but... Not the wine.

Us.

I mean... Things are... Things are

really good between us.

Like we've... We've found our groove.

I mean, we haven't argued. Whoa, whoa, Joan, Joan. That's all in the past.

We're in the here and now.

And right now, it does not get any better than this.

It's about to.

No, no,

this time let me pay.

Lynn, you know how I feel about dining and dashing.

This time I have cash.

Look, I got my final check from the documentary.

Wow. You finally arrived.

I'm so honored to have been part of this journey with you.

Thank you.

Now, when the hell are you moving out of Williams?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Now, let's not get stupid here.

No, it's been three months.

Look, this check is by your man. I beg you, bring your own money. I'm not going

to permit any man to get off your back money.

All right.

Move out of Williams.

You know what kills me about you, Savad? I mean, you're always saying do this,

do that, but what are you offering?

A poem?

out so bad, then why don't you pay my security deposit?

Why don't you get me some water and power? Why don't you let me move in with

you? Oh, okay. So there's the real issue. When are we going to move in

When are we going to have sex?

That is not the real issue.

By the way, when are we going to have sex? Lynn, I need a disciplined life.

Celibacy is a discipline. I can't have you in my space.

Oh, so I see what this is about.

You don't trust me.

No.

Damn, you can know me so well.

Honey, aren't you going to work?

Hello, it's raining.

And? And you know nothing I buy can get wet?

My clothes, my shoes, my purse, my hair.

And my 100 % alpaca rub. What the hell are you doing?

I just got out of a shower.

Did you come in here to prove it to me?

Honey, honey, it's only water. It'll dry.

We saved you. You might want to stand over here until it dries. Thank you.

Oh, God.

Oh, I made a promise to my shoes I'd never get them wet.

Well, we wouldn't want you to break a promise to your shoes, would we?

Yeah, well, I don't usually talk to my shoes.

You know, it's just that they're... They're such good listeners.

I know, I can tell.

Oh, God, you think I'm crazy, don't you?

But on you, it's charming.

I should have checked the weather this morning.

I usually do. It's my fault.

I did.

And here I am under this awning with you.

Looks like the sun's coming out.

I love sun showers.

Although my grandmother always used to say that sun showers are the devil

beating his wife.

I never got that.

Now, don't laugh, but I always thought that a sun shower was God having a happy

cry.

I like that.

I'm going to use that.

Looks like it's letting up.

Yeah.

I think I'll make a dash for it.

Me too.

Stay dry.

Thank you.

I was talking to your shoes.

I have big news.

I have big news, too.

All right, you first. Okay. Steven Soderbergh may want to meet with me.

And?

And that's it.

So when's the meeting?

It's not confirmed.

Well, when will it be confirmed?

I don't know, but that's not the point. Well, isn't the point that you get the

meeting? No, no, Joan, the point is...

Even Soderbergh is talking about putting me in his next film.

You know what? Forget it.

No, no. I'm happy for you. I know.

It's just that this is so big.

But hey, enough about me.

What's your big news?

Well, it's not career changing like yours.

Look, I got house seats for the producers tonight.

Oh, okay.

Wow.

You said you wanted to see it, right?

Actually, you said you wanted to see it, and I said, why not?

Okay, well, if you don't want to see it, then I can take somebody else.

No, look, I do want to see it.

It'll be fun.

I'm sorry.

I don't know how we got off on the wrong foot.

You know what?

Neither do I.

But it doesn't matter.

Because we're good.

So good. That's the order. That's the order. Okay.

What looks good?

We do.

All right.

Okay. We'll call.

Rock.

Ellis. Ellis.

I was just talking about you. Oh, with Soderbergh? Did I get to meet him? No,

still working on it. Still working. Oh, all right.

Oh, Joan, this is Brock.

Brock Harris.

My agent that I'm always talking about.

Brock, this is Joan, my girlfriend that I'm always talking about.

It's nice to meet you.

Yeah.

It's about time you two met.

I mean, you're two of the most important people in my life.

Dallas, Dallas, relax.

I've called Soderbergh twice.

Well, how about you call him a third time?

I'm just kidding.

I just see his face.

I'm just kidding. No, I'm not. I'm not what I am. Call the man again.

He

seems

nice.

Well, I hope not.

He's my agent.

Maya, are you really happy?

Yesterday I cried, but today my soul just opened up.

Maya. Yeah, girl, I'm happy.

Look, you're just worried about me because I don't have a man.

But I don't need a man to define my happiness.

Yeah, I plan to date Joan. Yeah, I plan to have me some fun, but mostly I'm

going to work on myself.

And the next time I do settle down with some man, he will be my enchanted love.

And because I've worked on myself, I'm not going to scare him away with my

issues.

Did you two take two hits at me?

Uh -uh, girl, I took three.

But seriously, John, you got to hear what my girl Mary Ann is saying in

Enchanted Love.

Many have said, no.

No, I do not choose the path of wild.

and radical and authentic love, even though I know I'm dying without it. I

I'll just settle for good enough.

I'm not going to settle for good enough.

And I'll be damned if I'm going to be somebody else who's good enough.

None of us settle for that.

Woman, what are you doing?

Visiting my friend.

What are you supposed to be doing?

Following my bliss.

You think your bliss might be leading you down to the unemployment office?

William, are you threatening me?

I hope so.

What is it? Huh? What do you want me to do now? The same thing I wanted you to

do for the last three months.

A little something we call work.

Do you forget how to dial it off that line again?

Forget would imply that at one time I knew.

I'm right behind you.

Thank you. All right, girl. Where were we?

One good thing about the rain, it really clears the air.

Okay, I'm beginning to think that you're following me.

Or it could be fate.

And Ellis got that meeting with Soderbergh.

He's with him now.

And he asked me to come tell you.

He couldn't call me?

Well, apparently that's fate, too.

Your cell phone's not on.

But I don't have it.

It wouldn't fit in my purse.

What could possibly fit in that thing?

Two Tic Tacs?

Would you like one?

Yes.

Well, I have been ordered to escort you to the theater, darling.

Now,

why didn't we tell them that we...

that I move out of a sweet deal of Williams just because his celibate ass

jealous.

And he won't let me move in with him.

What's that about?

Control.

It's the number one issue between contemporary men and women.

It's all in here.

Don't let yourself be controlled.

You need to read it.

Yeah, I don't want to read it. Read the damn book!

You're working late tonight. Did you not understand?

Uh, that would be the wig.

How long did you think a mannequin with a black wig at your desk was going to

fool me? Not nearly as long as I did.

Oh,

God.

John, you're so beautiful.

Look, this is all the artwork I'm telling you about.

This

is

wrong. Oh, yeah?

This is wrong.

What about this?

Is that better?

No, no, no, no, no.

Not the way we're doing it.

The fact that we're doing it.

Joan, what are we doing?

I don't know.

Just that you make me forget everything.

Joan, the way that I feel about you, I

can't be with you if you belong to somebody else.

I'm sorry. I'm coming here with... with Jake.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're okay.

But that's... that's real.

And so is this.

Joan... I am already in

love with you.

I love you too.

What did you say?

Your phone's ringing. Oh, no, no.

That's not what you said. What did you say? Your phone is ringing.

It's your phone. That's not what you said.

It's Ellis.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It's okay. It's okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, the play is over

by now, and he's going to be at my house.

Well, tell him about it tonight. We'll talk to him. No, I can't do that.

I can't do that.

So what are you going to do?

I don't know. I can't hurt him.

So what are you going to stay in a relationship where you're obviously not

happy? And then I don't have you, so I'm not going to be happy.

And Ellis is not in the relationship that he thinks he's in, so he's never

to be happy.

Joan, don't settle for good enough.

I'll do it.

I will tell him.

You are a controlling son of a bitch.

You know what celibacy is?

It's your weapon.

It is a lack of love. And there is no will to control where there is love. And

there is no love where there is a will to control.

Check it out, Sabat. Your textbook case.

And I am done.

Move in with me.

Okay, I only read the first page. Where are you going with that?

No!

No, no, no!

You are not clipping your clothes on my duvet cover.

I'll clean it up.

I thought we just needed separate bathrooms, but clearly we need separate

That's going to narrow our choices.

Okay, baby, where do you want to live? Brentwood, Bel Air, Holmby Hills,

anywhere you want to work.

Tony, we can't buy a house.

Why?

Did you already buy one?

Please tell me you already bought one.

Todd, why can't we buy a house?

Tony, I'm just saying, I'm not sure we could afford one of these.

Why?

It's only a million down.

To the equity I have here, what we roll over from your place, we just need

another 600 grand, give or take.

I don't have 600 grand.

And I didn't own my house.

Excuse me?

I was renting.

Renting?

So where'd you dump all your millions?

I'm a Beverly Hills doctor with an enormous malpractice insurance premium,

mountain of medical school debt, and a $200 ,000 wedding on my credit card.

You're broke?

I'm not broke.

Can you afford a house north of Wilshire? Not right now. Then you broke.

Tony, I'm just saying we have a cash flow problem, that's all. What do you

we, white man?

There's no need to go there. Oh, of course.

But a short, wet -stepping toe -clipper who's broke?

Honey, please.

I thought you'd never get home.

I know.

It's been a crazy night. Oh, Joan, my life changed tonight.

Soderbergh, he was... We clicked.

There was clicking.

I clicked with an A -list director.

I got the part.

I fly to New Zealand tomorrow night.

You're leaving?

Yeah, it's a job. Three weeks on location. Be happy for me.

But, Ellis, we need to talk. Oh, come on, Joan. Don't go there. Things are

We're in a good place, remember?

Yeah, but... No buts, Joan. You said it yourself.

Things could never be better. I love you.

Oh, my God.

Do you realize that's the first time I've said that to you?

I love you, Joan.

I love you.

Joan, I love you.

I... I love you, too.

That little leprechaun makes me sick. I'm divorcing his magically delicious

Thanks for those photocopies, Maya. Good night.