Original subtitles

Hey.

So he's your friend?

My basketball buddies. Uh -huh. He's cute. What's his story?

Not interested in you.

Oh, I'm sorry. And what's wrong with me?

Apparently a complete lack of self -awareness.

Look, you're going to suck him dry with some drama.

He's going to blame me, and then I'm going to lose a buddy. Oh, hell, but

see your Barry Manilow action figure, he's going to run anyway.

Shame to be a Barry Manilow fan.

That man loves a man.

Maya, please don't tell him I have a darling.

Oh, Matt.

sisters are here, too. Come on, get out.

Millie, Millie. Hey, darling.

Oh, hey.

Hey, Sherry. Hey.

Sure is a lot of white to clean.

Speaking of white, Antoinette Marie Childs, why didn't you tell me your

was a Jewish boy?

How'd you find out?

How's my baby girl?

I'm getting married.

Eugene, I told her we know all about the whiteness.

And the Jewishness.

And now, Veretta?

Don't now, Veretta, me.

I'm so in shock, I'm in shit.

Look, Mama, I wasn't trying to hide anything.

She don't never tell you nothing, Mama.

I invited y 'all down here to meet Todd's parents, didn't I? Only because

couldn't put it off any longer. I didn't tell you ahead of time because I didn't

want to hear all of this.

Oh, what?

All y 'all's racist talk.

I ain't racist. I just don't care.

And I surely ain't racist.

I'm a God -fearing Christian woman.

Mommy, you are racist.

When I was dating Hassan, you ran him off just because he was a Muslim.

Mm -hmm.

What is wrong with pork?

I just drove all the way down here from Fresno listening to all your clucking.

Now lay your egg and get over it.

I'm just saying, Eugene, Tony and her fiancé can worship any way they want,

my grandchildren will be washed in the blood of the Lamb.

You know, Tony, your mama's right. You know, nothing against you and Todd, but,

you know, I hope Jabari brings somebody home just like his mama.

Black. and Christian.

Oh, yeah, and cute.

Lord knows I don't want no ugly grandbabies.

No, the problem's organized religion.

Oh, hell, here we go. No, no, no. Nothing in the course of human history

divided people more than organized religion. Just name one conflict raging

the world right now that is being waged in the name of God.

You know, Lynn, I hope you find, too, that speech right before you meet with

devil.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what your mother thinks of Todd or his religion.

Oh, I'm not worried about what my mama thinks.

I'm just worried about my mama meeting Todd's parents, spitting water on them,

attempting some sort of kamikaze baptism.

Man, stay up.

The Klingons haven't been evil since the Battle of Chittimer.

That's their holy ruse.

The minute we get wrapped up in this Borg thing, the Klingons are going to

in and destroy our whole way of life.

Oh.

Oh, my. Were you dead?

Oh, my word.

What a surprise.

Maya. Wilkes.

Hi. It's really nice to meet you.

Heavens, anything.

Nice to meet you.

Maya, shouldn't you be home with Jabari, the son you had when you were 16?

He's with his daddy tonight.

Oh, you're married.

Divorced. Thanks for one of those single mothers.

We all know how they can be.

I love kids.

Oh, really?

Well, we have something in common.

What else do you like? I'd love to buy you a drink.

Well, I'll have a Cosmo, please.

William, get up and let the lady have a seat. Yes, sir.

This isn't over.

Oh, you're right, because he doesn't have my number yet. Now get on.

I'm confused.

Which one of these pillows are we supposed to sleep on?

You know what, Eugene?

I've decided I'm going to say something.

Leave it alone, Loretta. It's her life.

It's her wedding.

Mm -mm.

I got to say what's in my heart.

Antoinette, get in here.

Woman, why do you always have to be stirring things up?

And why do you want this family choking on secrets and lies?

Yes, Mama, he's still Jewish, what?

There's nobody thinking about that, boy. Come on in here and sit down.

Come on.

Now, your daddy and I, we... Leave me out of this, Beretta.

Tony, why isn't Sherry one of your bridesmaids?

Because I don't want her to be.

She don't even like me, Mama, and you know it.

So you gonna let your friends stand up beside you but not your blood?

Melody's in my wedding. But Sherry's not.

And neither is Eunice.

Now, you know damn well Eunice is over there in Iraq serving her country.

Now, I don't believe in blood for oil, but we're not on that right now.

We're on your wedding.

The most important day of your life, and your big sister's not part of it.

Mama, I told you to leave it alone. I don't even want to be in her funky

wedding. Good. Then everybody agrees.

So you could have had the decency to ask me, but then why would I expect decency

when you only think about yourself?

Sherry, I'm not going to be tiptoeing around you, okay?

I didn't want to be here in the first place. Well, then go.

No, no, no, no.

Now, this is not right.

You two are sisters. Under all that hate, you love each other. Now, I want

to find...

Ain't no love to find.

She's your sister.

So?

Honey, don't turn your back on your sister.

Let her go, Mama. I don't love her either.

Oh, honey, don't say that.

Eugene, did you hear that?

I told you to leave it alone.

What are you two doing in here?

Weren't you assigned to watch my mama?

Tony, as much as I enjoy being the butt of your mother's jokes, I am also the

hostess with a house full of very hungry people. And what's your excuse?

Well, I'm helping Joe.

And I'm one of those hungry people.

Yeah, I'll admit, I had some issues with your boy being Jewish.

I had to sit with that for a while.

But now that I've met him, I can see Todd's a fine young man.

He's short, though.

No bigger than a minute. Okay.

All right.

See, everyone's met Mama.

She's always speaking her mind, even when nobody's interested.

You know, we've had to make some adjustments, too, what with Tony being

Christian, tall, and all.

It's African -American, and she's really not that much taller, and we're past

that now, aren't we? Yes.

We're all family.

Right. And as parents, we know the most important thing is that our children be

happy.

Believe me. I mean, once we accepted that Todd's brother was a cross

everything else after that was a piece of cake.

So Todd has a brother or a sister.

Depends on the day.

And I bet they love each other. We're a very, very close family.

Well, have you ever heard tell of two sisters who hate each other? Mama.

Don't mama me. We're damn near family now.

If they can talk about their freak of a son -daughter, I can talk about how

I ended up with two girls from the same womb with hate in their hearts.

Renna, can't you make your point without bringing up your plumbing?

Oh, hush, Eugene.

Don't be dwelling on my uterus when it's my heart that hurts.

Mama, what's in your glass?

My drink and none of your business.

Oh, damn, Retta.

What is this?

Gin?

It's a blue sapphire martini straight up.

And if you're going to be calling out your mama's drink, get it right and get

another.

You've been sober for 16 years. Oh, shut up, girl. Oh, that's all right. That's

all right. We meant to sit down.

Brenna, come on now. You've embarrassed yourself enough. Now let's go.

I ain't going nowhere.

Mr. and Mrs. Garrett, I'm so sorry.

No, honey, don't worry. I mean, we've all had a little bit to drink. It's a

festive occasion.

Festive, my ass!

I'm drunk because I'm hurt.

because she had to take care of me, and this was mad because she feels guilty

she ran out of them.

Mommy, don't worry about them.

That's just how they are.

Retta, we're going.

Gone.

Sherry, you handle this. I'll be in the truck. Come on, punk.

Molly, I'm sorry you had to see your mama like that, but I got to fix this

between your sisters.

It's my fault I made the mess.

I'll clean it up.

Sherry, do something.

I always did it. Why don't you do it?

Mama, get up.

Let go of me.

What? You emotionally abused your sister, now you want to physically abuse

mama? Stop it.

You hear me? Stop it. I mean it. I'll call the law.

Shut up.

Why don't you and your parents go ahead with Tony? We can handle this.

We can?

Yes. We've been here before.

No, I haven't.

Thank you.

So, I guess we'll see everyone in the morning for breakfast.

Ah, you little midget.

Or not.

Okay.

Mrs. Child, I know that you're upset, and maybe we should just make some

and we can all talk about it.

Now, that's all I need.

It's some therapy for my stank hole.

Okay.

I'm done.

Okay, Beretta, that's enough. I want you to go and lay down in the back, and I'm

going to call your sponsor. Let's go. Oh, relax.

A fat one know what to do.

On three, Mama.

One, two, three.

That's right, baby. Get your mama.

And after you get them in the truck, you come back in here and get your mama a

doggie bag.

Because them crab cakes was good.

Hey. Look, I'm sorry I ran out before, but I'm here now.

Where's she back?

They went back to Fresno, Tony.

Well, then.

Cool. All my problems just drove up to five.

Tony, I know we joked about your mother being a drunk back in the day.

But your mother was drunk tonight.

I know, Joan. I was there.

And all you can think about is the fact that you're happy she's gone? Oh, and

I'm also thinking about how I wish she never came.

Come on, Tony. You don't mean that.

The hell I don't. Look, I know that you're mad and you're embarrassed. You

know nothing until you've had a drunk mother, okay, Lynn?

Tony. What?

See, all we're saying is that maybe now isn't the time to bail on your mom.

Well, what is a good time, Joan? Huh?

Should I wait until she's drunk at my baby shower?

Your mom is sick.

Tony, your mom is an alcoholic.

That's her problem.

You're right, it is her problem.

And it's okay to be mad.

But you're not a kid anymore, Tony.

You can confront your feelings about your mother and deal with this like an

adult. Okay, fine.

I'll send her a gift certificate to the Sizzler. She loves a salad bar.

That's so funny. Me too.

Hey, guys.

What's going on?

What, tonight's your big date?

Yeah, man, it is.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm just passing through the neighborhood.

Just like Maya was the other day.

Maya, I'm going to check on the table.

Well, it looks like this is going to be Andy Knapp all over again.

Oh, hell, William.

Is this another one of your childhood booboo the fool stories?

No.

Not anymore.

But the moral to that story was I don't have a lot of guy friends and I want to

keep the ones that I got.

Well, William, I don't want to give him up either. I mean, do you know how hard

it is to find a fun, hip, straight man in this town? Do you know how hard it is

to find a fun, hip, Civil War buff under 70 in this town?

Why can't we just share him? Because he's mine.

I'm on a date with him, so apparently he's mine.

Look, wench.

Either you give him up, or I'll tell him you have an STD.

You know what? I'll tell him that you're gay.

I'm just going to believe that. Oh, yeah.

He will once I tell him about the Barry Manilow doll.

Damn!

I came to check on Mama.

Well, now you acting all concerned.

I'm sick and tired of you blaming me for getting out of this hellhole.

It's not my fault you didn't have the strength to leave.

You didn't have the strength to stay.

Stay for what?

So I can work at value, pick and eat my dinner in front of Wheel of Fortune?

Better than spreading my legs for the highest bidder.

I don't need this.

Maybe I do resent you for leaving.

I'm tired of fighting, Sherry.

If you want to be in the wedding, you can be in the wedding. It's not about

wedding. It's about the fact that you never respected me.

How could I respect you when you hated me? How could I hate you when I damn

raised you? You are not my mama.

Who gave you your baths at night?

Who got you ready for school? Who combed your hair?

Who helped you with your homework?

Hell, girl, I did your homework.

Who got you your first training bra?

Who was there when you hyperventilated over getting your first period?

Who worked a part -time job so I could help you buy those joint -ass jeans like

Joan had?

Who do you think fed you the dream that you could get the hell out of here,

Tony?

So what do you want me to say, Sherry? Thank you?

Yes!

Yes.

I told you you could be in the wedding.

Can't you just say it?

I only want to hear.

Thank you, Sherry.

Thank you for then, and thank you for now.

I know I don't come up here as often as I should, but I know Mom and Daddy are

okay because you're here.

Listen, you're still young.

You can still get out, start over.

Todd and I are about to buy our own house. You could move to L .A. and live

the condo for free.

Why would I move down to L .A. when I'm about to make manager at value pick?

Is that good?

30 % off, full health and dental, and one pair of eyeglasses a year. You do

math. You did my homework. You do the math.

Tony, I chose this life.

I'm happy.

I just want you to respect that.

I'll respect it.

I don't understand it, but I will respect it.

I thought that was baby girl's car in front.

Hey, Daddy.

Hey, baby.

Hey,

Mama. Supper's on the stove.

Don't be studying me.

I'm okay.

Yeah, she's going to be all right.

We just came from one of our 12 -step meetings.

And because your mama's so smart, I'm already on the 12th step.

Greta. All right, nice.

That's the step where you make direct amends.

I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of Todd's people.

I like Todd.

He's got a good soul.

You just work on bringing that soul to the Lord.

Guess who's going to be in Tony's wedding?

What?

Antoinette, is that true?

Yes. Oh, Eugenia.

close to and I can't even drink.

You

just

had to date him. Well, he was cute.

I didn't know his jibber -jabber was going to get on my nerves. I had to

him out. Well, now he won't call me back either. Well, I did you a favor,

William. All that boy talked about was damn collecting this and Star Trek that.

That's why he was perfect for me.