Original subtitles

Thanks for the ride to work, Liam.

Coffee machine is in the back. Oh, great, thanks.

You know, since starting Denton Associates, I've become quite the staple

Staples. Whatever.

If you get busted, I don't know you.

Good morning, girlfriend.

It's birthday time again.

Today we're tipping in for Chapman.

Whatever. Working in an office full of birthday people is making me go broke.

Now, now, Lynn.

What goes around comes around.

When it was my birthday, I got over $1 ,000.

Oh, hey.

How much do you think I'll get on my birthday?

This Friday.

Oh, my God! You're on this Friday?

We're working late.

Girl, honey, you sound bad.

You should go home. Honey, trust that dirt. We'll be here in the morning.

Yeah, but my job won't. Then my kids won't have money to go to Disneyland

their class, and I'll be labeled as a bad mother. Oh, you have kids?

Yeah. Two boys, two jobs, and too much on my shoulders.

One kid, one job, and wondering how I'm going to make it by myself.

Amaya. Tasha.

I think you're sick.

divorce you, die on you, or never marry?

Divorce. You know, and we're still going through it. Well, it's been three years

for me.

Oh, yeah? What happened between you two?

He cheated on me.

What happened with your husband?

Oh, girl, you know, something like that.

Girl, ain't none of them no good?

I mean, come on, let's be real. When we were married, we were single mothers

anyway. I mean, come on. All they did was dirty up the tub and fart and be.

Lucky I got here early so I could cover for you.

What the hell are you doing here? I had a little work I needed to finish, so I

wanted to get an early start.

William, you don't work here.

Nobody at the staff meeting seemed to care.

We were all too busy ragging on you because you were late.

You know, this is just a little weird.

Well, come on, you got the empty cubicle here.

I miss the camaraderie of the office, the water cooler banter, the hum of the

fluorescents. Besides, if I leave now...

The softball team is going to be short of pitcher.

Yeah, and if you get caught, I could get in trouble.

Oh, instead of worrying about me getting caught, you need to worry about you

getting caught and your little birthday scam.

William, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm being caught.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Taking advantage of these nice people. You told them your birthday was on

Friday, and it's not.

That's a lie.

Yeah, well, you told them that you work here, and you don't, and that's a lie.

Happy birthday.

Watch Jabari. Girl, just make the boys some snacks. Lock up and let's go.

Tony, you don't leave nine -year -olds by themselves.

Jamiroquai is nine now?

Did Auntie Tony miss her birthday?

Maya, I know a woman down the street that says she has a really good

Joan, I'm not leaving my child with someone you don't even know.

Well, I know someone, and she's a dog sitter.

She did a really good job at Bosco.

Think about it. It's kind of the same thing. Jabari likes to take walks.

likes snacks.

by his real name, Jumanji. Oh, yeah.

No, no, you guys go ahead. Go ahead and make jokes, laughs. Great. Real funny,

huh? Huh? You know? But when y 'all want to go out, you just go.

Not Maya.

No, no, no.

Before Maya can make plans, Maya has to find a sitter. Uh -huh. Find a way to

pay for the sitter and hope that I have enough money left to go out with y 'all.

You know, not everybody has a lotty -zotty. We like to party like y 'all.

But you know what?

Y 'all are going to see one day when you have kids.

You can watch whatever you want, boxing, barbershop.

Now, if you have any problem with the box, don't call the cable company. Call

me. I'll tell you how to move in.

So this is Joan's house.

Joan's not a single mom. She don't know.

We've got it hard.

And I don't see our precious government trying to help us out. So I consider

this a subsidy.

Instead of government cheese, we get free cable.

I have to admit, it hasn't been easy since Darnell and I split.

Have you worked out the details of your divorce?

Like who gets what, visitation rights, child support payments?

Yeah, you know, we've worked out a basic agreement.

A basic agreement means you basically get screwed.

You are the victim here.

Girl, you better wake up and call a lawyer.

Okay, okay, stop it. You know what, you guys, somebody better get somebody.

Don't even look at me. Just go to the back.

Oh, my God.

Joan is going to trip.

Don't you? I mean, she got this from Ghana.

Oh, it's a Ghana now.

Oh, when the cat's away.

Hello.

Hi, Joan.

Tony, this is my friend Tasha.

Hi. These are her two boys, Junior and little Larry.

Hi.

Y 'all say hi to Miss Joan. Hi, Miss Joan.

Oh, so is Miss Tony invisible?

Hi, Miss Tony.

I'm waiting, did you be?

I think you know what, Tony? This is the last time, for real.

His name is Jabari.

Look, Auntie Joan, we finally got some real cable.

Excuse me?

Where did that come from?

My mom's truck.

Oh, you're running boxes?

Girl, I've been looking for somebody like you. Now, don't go anywhere. I got

pee, but I'll be right back with my checkbook.

You installed illegal cable in my house?

Okay, boys, it's time to go. Go to the back and get your things. Come on.

Go on, go to the back and help them.

You know what?

Girls, check the little hookup. Everybody does it. Not me.

Okay, fine. I'll take it out of here.

And I'm really sorry about this statue.

My statue?

What statue?

What happened to my statue?

You know what,

girl? The kids were running around. They were playing.

And it broke by accident.

Girl, it's simple.

The next earthquake, just call your insurance company and report it.

Now you want me to commit insurance fraud?

Look, my boy broke it, so I'll pay for it.

I can give you $5 a month.

This thing cost over $1 ,000.

$6 a month?

And it had sentimental value.

Oh, girl, come here.

You know, Tosh, why don't you just go on and go? I'll give you a call tomorrow,

okay? Okay. Well, I'll get the box from you tomorrow, and I really am sorry

about your statue.

Come on, boy.

Say bye.

Bye, Joan.

Who is that?

I told you, she's a friend.

I don't want that type of person in my house.

Oh, excuse me?

What do you mean by that type of person? Okay, Tasha is a single mother trying

to make it, just like me.

That criminal is nothing like you, Maya.

Joan, she just hooked up a stupid table boss. What?

Yeah, well, I don't want it or her in my house.

I'm sorry. Now this is your house? Yes.

That is what you people don't seem to understand.

This is my house.

Oh, OK. Well, you know what? You don't have to worry about Tasha or Jabari or

in your house. Because you know what? I'm moving out.

Whatever. Whatever.

OK.

Where did old girl with the boxers go?

Hey, Tasha.

You know what? I'm trying to move out of Jones as soon as I can, you know, and I

know that you're still living with your mom, and my living situation is, well,

girl, you know what that is.

And, well, we're cool, and we kind of vibe. I mean, we vibe, right?

Yeah, we vibe.

Right, right. So I was thinking, you know, maybe we could get a place

be roommates.

You watch mine, I watch yours kind of thing.

It'll be fun.

What do you say?

I say, you better get a lock for your closet if you don't want me all up in

girl. You got a cute closet.

Did you

eat

one of Jabari's mac and cheeses?

Maya, I haven't eaten any of your damn food.

Oh, so this 12 -pack just magically became an 11 -pack. Is that what you're

saying to me?

What are you worried about?

I'm sure your new roommate can hook you up with some free mac and cheese.

Joan, is it okay if I let my ex and my son into your house?

Whatever, Maya.

I missed you today.

How was school?

Good. Good.

Guess what? What?

Dad's taking me to a hockey game Friday night.

Oh.

Yeah, that's why we're a little late, because I had to pick up the tickets.

Hmm. All right, little man.

See you on Friday.

Friday. All right.

Darnell, I have Jabari on Fridays.

Did it ever cross your mind that maybe we had plans?

Oh, my fault?

Mm -hmm. Yeah, I should have cleared that with you first.

Sorry. Mm -hmm.

So what are you guys doing? Nothing, but you didn't know that.

Let me leave, because I feel attitude bouncing all off of you. You know what,

Darnell, we need to get a little bit more specific about our divorce

But I thought we already agreed on everything.

No, no, see, it's easy to agree when you're not specific.

But what happens when we have to be specific and we can't agree on the

specifics? Am I supposed to just trust you?

I'm not the one that can't be trusted here.

You know, you can always hold that one indiscretion over my head hard to get

what you want. You know, I have no recourse, no protection. I'm being

all up and through this. And let me tell you something, brother, you know what?

It ain't gonna fly.

You're the victim? Yes, I am.

You must be smoking.

If anything, I think I've been pretty damn fair up until this point.

Who pays all the big bills?

I do.

You said you wanted a good car. I gave you the good car. And I'm still paying

insurance on both them bad boys.

And I do all of this not because I have to, but because our son shouldn't have

to go through some messy divorce.

Now, if you want to go getting all specific with everything, hey, handle

I am so sick and tired of you playing that same thing. No, no, no, no. You're

not going to make me the criminal. I am victimized. You're wrong. I did what I

did.

Jabari is back there.

All right, you know what? I'm going to be back on Friday to pick up our son.

Emphasis on our.

Maya, what are you doing? I'm taking care of my business.

Emphasis on my.

Look, it is one thing.

For you to let your friend Tasha drive a wedge between me and you, but your

relationship with Darnell is much more important. You have Jabari to think

about, Maya.

Were you thinking about Jabari when you ate his mac and cheese?

Maya, if you keep this up, your amicable divorce is going to get nasty and

you're going to hurt a lot of people.

Hurt?

Hurt? What about my hurt, okay? No one up in here seems to be thinking about

that.

Maya, I have been putting you up in my house for the last six months with free

room and board, and I am not thinking about your hurt?

You little ingrate. Uh -uh.

Don't you damn play that, okay? I told you that I would pay you some rent. And

told you that I didn't want your money because we are friends.

And as your friend, I am telling you, you are messing up.

Hey, Chapman, what happened?

I got fired.

Fired? For what?

I lied about my birthday.

Oh, and happy birthday.

Lynn, you know why we're here, don't you?

Huh?

Your birthday isn't really today.

Now is it? Huh?

You heard me.

Look, guys, I'm really sorry.

I just got caught up in the whole birthday fever. We take birthdays very

seriously around here. And we don't appreciate you coming in here trying to

the wool over our eyes.

So what happens now?

Well, what happens now is you take a deep breath and blow out those candles

because we're still birthday people.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't get it. You guys just fired

Chapman for this. This and for downloading porn all day.

What, you fired people for this?

Who cares? It's mine.

Fake money?

Fake money for a fake birthday.

Don't cross us again, bitch.

Dang, girl, how much of this stuff are you planning on returning?

All of it.

Tasha.

What? You lost or something?

I was about to go pick up the boys from shoes.

And what's wrong with your phone?

I keep calling, I can't get through.

Oh, that's because I have a trifling Negro's block on the phone.

I'm not trying to talk to you.

I'm trying to see my boys. You're always trying to do something. Why don't you

try and catch up on some child support?

What are you talking about?

I pay.

You just mad because I won't break you up a little extra to get your raggedy

nails done. So what's raggedy is the trifling heaven that you left me and

kids for. Why do you always got to go there? Because that's where it's at.

I just want to see my boys, Tasha. Take a picture.

They need a father.

They have me.

I'm more of a father than you could ever be.

Oh, that's six, huh?

That's six.

Sounds like you really miss those boys.

Tasha, girl, I don't want to overstep my boundaries. Don't.

So Darnell and I talked, and we're back on track.

That's good, Maya.

And I owe you an apology.

I know I've been acting a little janky lately.

A little?

Girl, don't sugarcoat it. You have been acting totally janky.

I know I've been a little ungrateful.

You know, without you, Joan, I wouldn't have been able to get through all this.

So can we get you unpacked?

Thank you, but I'm still moving out.

With that cable thief?

No, no. Look in my own place. I cannot hide from being single forever.

Maya, I'm always here for you if you need me.

Thank you.

You know what I'm saying?

What? We got some more issues?

Frank can't get a hug?

I can't. Oh, God.

I'm a macaroni thief.

Hey.

Hey.

So you find a place here?

Nah, girl.

I called Six.

He's coming by on Sunday to pick up the boys.

You did the right thing, Tasha.

Damn right.

Shoot, I need the afternoon off. Mama time.

Okay.

Maybe we could do something.

Well, you know, I do have the hookup down at the Magic Johnson Theater.

Who, Monty?

Girl, yes.

Girl, I got the same hookup. Monty's my cousin.

Tasha, shut up.

I'm cleaning up on the birthday cash.

Why do you get real cash?

Because I'm not a liar. Today really is my birthday.

Oh, but you are a liar. You don't even work here.

Hey, birthday people!

This guy doesn't even work here.

Rodney!

Lynn's right. She's absolutely right. I don't work here.

Anymore. Yesterday, I passed the bar, and I'm a lawyer now!

I'm out of here!

Everybody, get out your wallets. Roddy's going to need a new briefcase.