Original subtitles

Hey, Maya. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. Guess what?

I've decided to move back home. Oh, my God.

Well, let's not dilly -dally. Let's get you packed. Excuse me, can I get that

rat to go?

Uh, look, um, I know you want me out your house. I want to be out too, Tress.

But even though things are going well between me and Darnell, he still hasn't

asked me to move back. So that's where you guys come in. I need some strategy,

some suggestions.

I'll even stoop to tricks if it'll get me back home.

Okay, ladies, put your thinking caps on because I am tired of living with

someone who I'm not sleeping with.

Girl, no offense, but you gotta go.

Maya, you wanna go back home? You need to buy a home. Nothing holds a man like

mortgage. I guarantee your man will be around for 30 years.

Fixed.

How about a love potion that will make you irresistible to Darnell?

Oh, is that some real stuff you know how to do? No.

But wouldn't it be cool?

Maya, you better sit down because I have got some news for you. I am sitting

down. Well, girl, you better lay down because you're going to pass out when

hear this.

What?

Okay, Ronnie and I, we were out looking. Look, I'll tell her. She's my cousin.

Tell me what.

Wait a minute.

Maya, this is where you work.

Girl, you done come up. I see you are working, girl, and stuff. Take a memo

CC the staff.

Peaches, shut up. Ronnie, what's going on?

Okay, Maya, sit down.

Ronnie?

Peach.

Hi, Counselor.

Hi. Maya, what's going on?

I really don't know, John, but I'm trying to find out. Well, can we all

in my office so the entire floor doesn't find out?

Oh,

I'm having my first sidebar.

Okay, Ronnie, what's going on?

Well, while Peaches and I were out scouting locations for my new beauty

the beach, Situations Del Mar, we saw your... trifling husband, Darnell, and

some hoochie eating at the Red Lobster.

What?

Listen, Maya, things aren't always as they seem, so, Ronnie, why don't you

tell us exactly what you saw, okay?

I saw a hoochie all over her husband at the Red Lobster.

What did she look like? Okay, Ronnie, I got this, because you know I'm famous

for my photographic memory.

Okay, first of all, she had some really bad home -applied bleach blonde

highlights.

Did she have a mole on her left cheek?

Oh, my word, she did.

Maya, do you know who they're talking about? Yeah, Joan, and so do you.

It's Cecily.

Do you... You mean the Cecily that I saw feeding Darnell strawberries like two

years ago?

Oh, my God, a coinkydick. Today, she was feeding him cheese biscuits.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You mean to tell me she's been feeding him for two years?

Ooh, peaches. Look, we're going to have to cut Darnell and that hoochie. Okay,

whoa. Whoa. Before anybody starts cutting anybody, let's not jump to

conclusions. All right? I mean, they are co -workers. Maybe they were just

having lunch.

Then let me ask you this.

Why was his crab leg all up in her butter when he had his own butter?

Okay, you know what, Ronnie?

I know how you are.

You like to blow things out of proportion, but don't you dare do this

This is my marriage.

Uh -uh.

Uh -uh. I did not leave all my all -you -can -eat popcorn shrimp before he ate

all he could eat. To come down here out of the goodness of my heart to be told

that I blow things out of proportion.

And to be insulted by his family when he is just trying to protect his family.

Shut up!

Look, I'm here for you.

I am so stupid.

And here I am thinking things are getting better between me and Darnell.

Look, it's going to be okay, all right? Yes, girl, it's going to be all right.

Maya, girl, we are here for you.

Now you wipe away those tears, honey, and you keep your head up.

Y 'all validate?

Maya, they need these filed on the fourth floor.

I'm going down there. Okay.

Don't forget the files.

No, no, no. I'm going to the airport to see Darnell.

Oh, wait. Maya, Maya, no, no, no. That's not a good idea.

This is not the time in our nation's history to go off in an airport.

Okay, okay. Maya, I'm going to go with you.

Wait for me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. There, little filly. William, what are you doing? Yeah,

not the only one that smelt the fresh -baked cookies in the kitchen.

Okay.

William?

Forget those cookies, okay? We need to go to the airport.

Why? Are there better cookies at the airport?

Yes.

Hey.

Hey, Maya.

Hey, what's up, Carlos?

Do you know where Darnell is?

Oh, he's out in the tarmac.

Think you'll get him for me? Oh, I don't have security clearance for the tarmac.

Carlos! Another lost bag.

Nothing worth keeping.

Hey, is this the room where they keep all the lost luggage?

Because I lost a bag about a month ago.

Flight 197 out of Chicago.

It was a black toonie with a red strap around it.

Uh, yeah, I remember that one.

Carlos.

My man.

It was a pull handle. Two wheels.

Two pages of rare stamps inside.

I'm just going to have a look around.

You know what, man? I ain't got all day, okay? So can you just find someone who

does have clearance to get my husband?

Maya, I really don't want to get in the middle of this.

Maya, this really isn't the place to confront Darnell. Look, I'll tell you

I'll pick Jabari up from school, okay? And then you can talk to Darnell at the

apartment, okay?

Sorry, you just missed Darnell. He's out on the tarmac, but I'll tell him you

came by. Nuh -uh, Cecily.

You ain't got to tell my husband anything, okay?

But you do need to tell me what's been going on between you and Darnell.

What do you mean what's going on between me and Darnell? Don't you act like you

still in slow learner's class.

Okay, wait a minute.

Just because you got kicked out of your house doesn't mean you can come down

here and start to mess with me. Look, I heard you had lunch with Darnell at Red

Lobster today.

Oh, you... talking crazy because i'm on slim fast so i drink my lunch my people

said they saw you feeding them cheese biscuits just like my people saw you

feeding them strawberries two years ago oh i know you ain't trying to get all up

in my face with something he said she said man speaking as one of the she said

am the one who saw you feed her husband strawberries in a lewd and might i add

inappropriate manner who the hell are you

She's my friend, Cecily. Okay? Something you ain't never been.

You know, you've been trying to get with Darnell ever since driver's ed. I saw

the way you would look at him when he would parallel park.

You ain't slick.

All right.

All right.

I was off my diet today.

And I had me some Admiral's feast.

So what?

Okay. Good news is I found a suitcase.

Bad news is security's on my tail. I have to see you guys out. in the parking

lot.

Cecily, you better tell me right now what's been going on and for how long.

Speaking as an officer of the court, I feel duty -bound to let you know she got

some tweezers through security.

All right, Maya.

I have always wanted Darnell, but he would never give me the time of day

he was always in love with you.

But I always knew you didn't know what you had.

And I'm just so glad I didn't wait in vain.

That's what you're trying to say.

I'm saying he's my man now.

I just gave Maya a Valium, and she seems to be settling down.

We got to figure out what to do, you guys.

Well, the first thing we got to do is call a doctor, because I gave her a

Valium, too.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is it a little blue pill with a V on it? Uh, yeah. Well,

she only took one. I took that one. I thought it was an aspirin. What did you

think the V stood for?

Value. You know how Joan likes to bargain shop.

Damn the suitcase.

I thought for sure the combination was my birthday.

Or maybe it's Mama's birthday.

Or maybe it's the date of the fall of Vicksburg.

No, that's my pin number.

I mean, Petersburg.

That's what we need to do.

We need to go down to the airport and talk to Darnell face to face. And say

what? I don't know.

We've got to let him know what he's doing to Maya.

Maybe he knows exactly what he's doing.

Sometimes a man has a plan.

Yeah, well, his plan is wrecking his marriage and destroying his child's

We're going down there, and we will figure out what we're going to say when

get there. Let's go.

Wait a minute.

You can't just go bursting in there like you're Charlie's Angels. This is

someone's marriage.

This is the sacred and private matter between a man and a woman.

And that extra woman.

Godspeed.

Oh, hell.

Security! Wait, wait, wait, John, no.

What are y 'all doing here? We come in peace.

Well, um, actually, one of us is looking for the bathroom. This juice is running

through me.

Darnell, obviously we're here to talk about Maya, okay?

Don't you think you've punished her enough?

I mean, you won, okay? You broke her down.

She's a mess.

She made a bed.

Okay,

Darnell.

If all this anger and acting out is about the money I owe you, we can settle

this right now.

I gave it to Maya.

So if you get back with her...

Win -win.

What money?

Okay, this never happened.

Listen, she's on Valium, okay? It's a long story. And so is your wife, which

why we're here.

You drunked her?

It's not like last year when I shot her with that tranquilizer gun.

What?

Okay, this never happened.

Okay, you know what? Listen, listen.

Let's just start from the beginning, okay?

We are here because we're Maya's friends. Oh, oh.

Friend, huh? Yeah. So where were you so -called friend when Maya started

cheating on me? We were right there, buddy. Yeah, he's probably right there

coaching her how to shove her tongue down his throat. For your information,

tried to tell her to stop. But no, it was all about Dan. Gotta meet Dan.

Gotta have coffee with Dan.

Dan, Dan, Dan. Tony, Tony, shut up.

You crafty little baggage handler.

You tricked me.

Oh. The point is...

Set his ass straight.

How are we going to face Maya? What are we going to tell her?

I got an angle on that one. Why don't we tell her it's all Tony's fault? While

Maya's beating her up, we escape.

Oh, thank God.

Thank God you're back.

Wait, did something happen with Maya?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe someone should check. What?

Excuse me. I'm in a tizzy over my suitcase crisis.

happened? Quick rundown. Wrong bag. Full of insulin. Guy may die. He's got my

stamps. Gotta go.

Hey.

Maya, where are you going? On a trip? No.

I'm going home.

Does Darnell know?

He'll know when I get there.

Maya, you may not be going on a trip, but you are certainly tripping.

This is no time for hand -holding, Joan. She needs reality. Here's the reality.

Cecily is the answer to my prayers. That tramp made me and Darnell even.

I dated outside our marriage. He dated outside our marriage. We're even, so I

don't go back home.

Maya, we went down to the airport, and we tried to talk to Darnell.

What did he say?

Well, the gist of it was not, Maya, come on home.

That's Ronnie.

Oh,

hey, everybody. Come on, Maya, girl. I am double parked, and I am showing on

gas.

Maya. Are you sure you don't want to give this some more time?

Joan, I don't have more time.

Okay? I want to go home.

Mommy? Hey, Mommy.

Hi, baby.

Hey, Cousin Ronnie.

Hey.

What's going on, Ma?

Mommy, are you moving back in?

Jabari, Daddy and I need to talk, so...

Why don't you go with Cousin Ronnie and get an ice cream?

Uh -uh.

Now, you know Cousin Ronnie is lactose intolerant.

Then go to hell and see if you can tolerate that.

Excuse me.

Come on, boo.

So, um, what are you doing here, Maya?

I'm moving back home.

What?

Don't know. I know about Cecily.

You know about Stan.

Playing field is level. I can come back home.

It's not that simple, Maya.

Yeah, it is.

It really is. So why don't you just take my bags into the bedroom, and I'll get

dinner started. See?

Simple.

Maya, you're not listening to me.

You know what? I am listening.

Don't know. I'm just tired of listening. You know, we've been separated for

months now, and, you know, it's time to move forward.

You're right. We do need to move forward. All right. So you want a

pork chop? You want me to fry up a turkey real quick?

I want a divorce.

Well, you are crazy, okay?

Ain't nobody getting divorced up in here, all right?

Now, do you want me to make the yams or the greens? You know what? I'll make

both. Maya.

Maya.

Honey, this marriage is not working.

You know what?

I am so tired of you playing the victim, you know? You know, acting like

you're the only one who's been hurt.

I stood right there and let Sackley tell me that she had my man.

Okay, we both have been humiliated. You wanted to hurt me, Darnell? You hurt me.

We're even.

Now, I am home.

Maya, when I found out that you cheated on me, I wanted to die.

Now that's how bad I felt.

And I wanted you to feel as bad as I did.

And maybe that's why I got with Cecily, but I don't want her. I just thought

that I would feel a little better if I could make you feel like you wanted to

die.

Well, listen to college.

Hell, Maya.

I even thought that once I got even with you that we could get back together.

But now I realize that it's not about Cecily or Stan.

It's about you and me. What about you and me?

Now, I love you, Darnell, and I know that you love me.

I do love you, baby.

That's why I gotta let you go. No.

No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here.

Maya. No.

Baby, there's not a day that goes by that I don't want to be with my wife.

Amaya. Then let's... Baby, let's be together, okay? I know, I know. Darn

know. I have not been the perfect wife with anybody but you. Just let me make

you some biscuits and gravy, baby. Let me make... I feel like I'm holding you

back.

Come on, we got married young.

High school.

Then we had a kid.

But I like where we're at.

You know, you're getting your business started. I'm going back to school, baby.

Baby, we're good.

No, we're not.

No, we're not.

Maya, you feel like you're missing out, okay?

And I can't get it back for you. I wish that I could, but I can't.

Baby, I don't want it.

I don't want it, Darnell. I want you.

I live for you.

See, that's the problem.

You can't live for me.

You gotta live for yourself.

There's something out there and it's pulling at you and it's pulling you away

from me.

I know you feel it. I can see it in your eyes.

Baby, I felt it at night when I would hold you. You're slipping away.

You gonna tell me you don't feel that?

Gotta feel that.

Tell me that you don't feel us growing apart.

And I'll take you back, Maya. I swear to God, I will take you back and we'll fix

it. We'll let the past be the past.

We'll move on with our lives.

No regret.

It'll be just like it was before.

All you gotta do is tell me that there's nothing else out there for you.

And I'll fight for us, baby. I swear, I will fight for us.

But you gotta be able to tell me that one thing.

You just tell me that I'm wrong.

I'm sorry.

Tell me now, are you lying to me?

I need to know so I can set you free.

But I bet you won't because you're not that strong.

You would rather see me just hanging on.

I guess I'm just too weak to leave.

Cause I know the truth.

You lied to me.

Your love is gone.

It's torn apart.

And I'll probably die from a broken heart.

Alright.

Excuse me.

About a week ago, I returned a bag, and I was wondering if you found mine yet.

They said it'd be about a week or... Hey!

I have a shirt just like that.

Um, it's a black tunic with a red... My mother knitted me a scarf just like

that. Hey, I'll be right back, Luis.

Check the mail from Bill.

Holy cup of Joe, my stamps!