Original subtitles

Oh, Miyoshi?

You think she may be interested in me?

I don't know, William.

I don't really know Miyoshi's story.

She's like Russia.

A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

No, she's just a little shy, and English is her second language.

Look, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you invite her out, and then ask Mia?

And under the guise of a group outing, the Mac Master Dent will make his move.

English may be her second language, but all the ladies of all the lands.

Love, Big Willie.

After high school, my dad and I fell out because he wouldn't pay for college. It

made me a man, but I just wouldn't do that to my kid.

Chris, do you want to have sex?

Have I been talking for three months?

See, that's the thing. I've decided to give up my three -month rule.

I mean, it's really not more than just an arbitrary way to control a

relationship.

you know, instead of really being in one.

So I figured if I just let myself be in a relationship, then I'll know when it's

right.

And Chris, it's right.

Well, come on with the come on.

Sean. Oh, my God, I've got to get that. Back in town. Just wanted to see if you

were going to be around later.

Hello?

Hi.

Hi, Sean.

How are you?

How you doing?

You're in town?

You're kidding.

Tomorrow? God, that would be great.

Yeah, I'll be here all day.

Yeah, all right.

I'll see you then. Okay.

Bye.

Hey. Hey.

So, listen, you want to take this to the bedroom?

I'm sorry, Chris.

That was my boyfriend.

Your boyfriend?

Yeah. Joan, wait a minute. You never told me that you had a boyfriend. No, he

was my boyfriend, but he moved to New York. And, you know, we didn't want to

that whole long -distance thing.

But it was always understood that if he came back to L .A., that we would be

back together. And, well, he's back.

You know what?

Never mind.

I'm out. Chris, come on. I said I was sorry. Please, we can still be friends.

Oh, God. Chris, come on. Please don't. Chris, come on.

My boyfriend's back and coming.

and how beautiful you are.

God, look at you.

You look so good.

So, tell me how you've been. You know, what's been going on?

Son.

What? Why didn't you call me?

I did.

No, I mean, why didn't you call me from New York to tell me you were coming?

Well, you know, things kind of happen quickly, and, you know, the transfer was

sudden. Oh, God, it doesn't matter. What's important is that you are here

Oh, my God.

You could stay here.

Lynn doesn't live here anymore, and we could have this whole place to

Oh, my God, Sean.

Sean, it's so great.

It's like you never left. It's like we're way back where we were. Oh, my

John, hey, I'm engaged.

You mean busy?

No, I mean engaged to be married.

Oh.

I guess that would make you pretty busy, huh?

I wanted to come and tell you in person.

I'm sorry. I know this is really awkward, because it's awkward to me. No,

it's fine. We haven't seen each other for, like, what? It's been, like, eight

months or something.

I mean, I've been seeing other people, and obviously you've been seeing other

people. We didn't have any promises or anything. It's fine.

Joan. Hmm?

Look, I'll get my stuff out of your garage whenever it's good for you.

You know, um, today might be good, because they pick up the garbage

I miss you too, boo.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

No, you hang out first.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, we'll do it together.

One, two, love you.

I liked it better when you and Darnell were fighting.

Don't hate just because y 'all are some lonely spinsters.

No, I'm happy for you. Your marriage was deep in trouble and you turned it

around. proud of you for that. Oh, my God. Things are better than they've ever

been. I mean, we're talking all the time, doing things we never used to, and

just eating at me that I have this secret.

And, guys, I've been thinking I need to tell Darnell about Stan.

Are you crazy? What?

What? I mean, you and Linda are the ones who told me to tell him. Yeah, but that

was when Stan was threatening to tell Darnell. But you got away with it. It's

over. Be thankful. No, no. I don't want to keep any secrets from my husband,

okay? Yeah, we had an affair.

But it's not like we had sex. We just kissed.

I think Darnell will understand.

No, I don't think Darnell will understand why you had Stan all up in

playing his PlayStation, eating your meatloaf.

Okay, all right. I'm going to take a little finessing. Wyatt, if you say

something, you're just going to be doing it to ease your guilt. It's not going

to do Darnell any good.

So if you want to make up for cheating on him, keep it to yourself.

Okay, don't put it on him.

Wyatt, God.

You've got a husband who loves you, all right?

You really should just keep it that way.

Okay. Damn, John.

Don't cry.

I'll take it to the grave.

No, God, it's not that.

I'm sorry.

John came back.

He's engaged.

Oh.

Judy, when did you find this out?

Yesterday.

I didn't want to say anything.

This is so embarrassing.

You guys, I thought he was coming back for me.

Here I am calling you a lonely spinster.

who always picks up the check.

I was hoping she'd come.

Oh, Joan wasn't up to coming out tonight.

Hey, speaking of the bathroom, don't you have to go?

Lynn, Tony, mine?

Oh, William, you know us so well.

So, how's your drink?

Fine. Mine, too.

Hey, what's your favorite color?

Pink.

Mine, too.

We have so much in common.

We do.

Lynn. Yeah, she's a great girl.

I've been wanting her since she came to work at Ami.

Wanting? You mean wanting her to be your friend, right? No, wanting her to be my

lover.

She's sexy and funny and a little lazy, but I can work with that.

So you're a lesbian?

You know, the funny thing is, I always kind of thought of myself as a lesbian,

too.

A little butch, but a lesbian nonetheless.

Tell me how to break the ice with Lynn.

Well, Miyoshi, Lynn likes the direct approach.

My advice to you would be to grab Lynn's ass and give it a really hard squeeze.

It dates your intention right from the beginning, and it gets the party started

all in one elegant gesture.

Oh, I am so lucky, okay? My man is finer than any of these fine men in here.

Oh, whatever helps you deal with the fact they're all looking at me big.

Oh, my God. Guys, Sean's here.

And, oh, my God, that must be that heifer bitch.

All I can say is, thank God Joan's not here to see this.

Oh, my God. God must have it out for Joan because here she comes.

Hey, guys.

leaving i just got here girl it is so pretentious and i think they're watering

down the drinks too so come on you guys this is the hottest spot in town uh for

a minute that's over come on okay wait i just paid 20 the parkway car and 20 to

get in here life lessons don't come cheap so come on

He's here, isn't he?

You're right.

The Lord is everywhere.

Now, come on. No, Sean is here.

And she's with him, huh?

Yes, he's real stanky. Oh, Joan.

Is she all bald and stuff?

She's not pretty, huh?

Yeah.

Now, come on. Come on.

No. No.

I don't want him to see me running out of here.

Where are they?

Oh, my God. Are you okay? I'm fine. Are you sure? I'm fine. Joan.

I'm fine.

You two know each other?

Joan. Nicole, this is Joan. Joan, this is Nicole.

Hi. How do you two know each other?

We're old friends.

Joan, I really just wanted to congratulate you on your engagement.

Wait a minute.

What engagement?

You told me you just dumped somebody. I did just break up with someone, and I

did it by telling her I was engaged, and here she is.

Joan, I'm sorry.

Joan, hey, look.

When I came by the other day, you had this look in your eye, and I just, I

couldn't tell you the truth.

What is the truth, Sean?

I just wanted to come back to town and not be in a relationship with you. I

mean, still friends, but not what we were doing. Well, then why didn't you

tell me that? Because you know how you are.

No.

How am I?

Just too much. I'm too much?

You are the sex addict, the coward, and the liar, and I am too much. You see?

Everything with you is drama. Everything has to be scrutinized, controlled, and

nitpicked to death. And I didn't want to go back there again. I have changed,

okay? I...

What am I doing?

Go to hell!

You know, I want you to take this with you.

What's up?

I really wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. I was rude and

and I'm sorry.

Fine.

Apologies accepted.

So, what are you doing tonight?

Shouldn't you be asking your boyfriend out?

Sometimes a boyfriend is just a boy who's a friend.

Sometimes he's an evil son of a bitch.

So he screws you over, and I'm your rebound guy?

No, you know what, Joan? You're too much drama for me.

Okay.

Got the memo on that.

I'm full of drama, so have sex with me.

What?

Sex. Right here, right now.

Jo, what kind of game are you playing? The kind that'll make us both feel

in like 10 or 15 minutes.

Hey, girls.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Carol, are the paychecks ready yet?

Yeah, Lynn.

But as usual, I had to deduct some breakage fees from yours.

move, I hope it's pleasing you.

No! You're violated!

Thor!

Oh, I'm sorry. William said you'd like that.

William, what are you talking about?

I'm attracted to you. I always have been and I thought you were attracted to me.

Miosha, you're a lesbian?

Yes. Oh, well, I'm not.

Are you bi?

No. Now, the thing you might be picking up on is I'm a little freaky.

Look, there's no chance of you and me.

No, Miyoshi, I'm sorry.

Then you're fired.

Because I won't sleep with you?

Except sexual harassment, I could sue you. Oh, I think we have a better case

against you. You break dishes, you steal food, you're late, you eat with

customers.

My father has wanted to fire you since day one. The only reason you're still

around is because of me.

You are the worst busboy in the history of the world.

Get some, um, some strawberries.

Oh, and some whipped cream.

I was hoping we could remake nine and a half weeks in about, oh,

nine and a half hours.

Is Jabari asleep?

He's at my mother's. Oh, good thinking, baby.

Because you know how I like to get loud.

Maya, you have a message on the machine. I think you should listen. to it oh no

no no no no it can't it's important what what is my mom

okay what happy for you your marriage was

deep in trouble land no um your cell phone speed dial home again

i told you you need to keep that key guard on

You let that play.

Martini kit, dart board. All we need is one of Sean's evil pictures.

So, look, it's nighttime. Don't leave until... Oh, hey, Tony.

Uh, is it Sean? Come back? Oh, God, no. No.

Um, can you wait for me in the bedroom?

Okay. Okay.

Um... What is he doing here?

Oh.

Oh, I get it. He caught you in a weak moment.

Girl, I'll get rid of him. I'll give him some arcade money or something.

Tony. Tony. What?

I invited him here.

To do what?

To make me feel better.

That's what me, the dartboard, and the martinis are for.

Tony.

Two days ago, I stepped out of my box and I gave up my three -month rule.

And today, I lost the man that I thought I was going to marry.

Tony, every time I take one step forward, life knocks me back ten. So

I'm fighting the impulse to cut off all my hair, put on a flannel shirt, and

move to the woods of Oregon.

Joan, sweetie, why would you do that?

There's only catalog shopping up there.

Okay, come here. Now listen to me.

Okay?

Joan, honey. No.

No. I cannot sit here and talk about what happened tonight, okay?

I know what you're going to say.

You're going to say that I'm fine.

Just be yourself.

But being myself lands me where I've always been, Tony.

Alone.

Oh, Joan.

You're fine.

Uh -huh.

Just be yourself.

Well, you know what? Good advice is good advice.

It's me.

I'm scared, okay?

And at this moment, everything in me really just wants to run and hide. So

please, please just let me have him.

Because he wants me.

And at this moment, all that I want to feel is wanted.

Oh, now you come on here, okay?

He's not going to want you with his mascara running.

Okay, so you just fix yourself up, okay?

And you go in there and you work it all out on Junior.

I'm glad there's no hard feelings about what happened between you and Miyoshi.

Oh, not like you told Miyoshi I was a lesbian.

Right. I just told her what you liked.

Hey, Monty.

Hi. How are you?

William, this is Monty. Monty, this is William.