Original subtitles

Hey, girl, I'm back.

Sorry I'm late. Oh, it's okay, Maya. I didn't even notice you were late until

about an hour and a half ago.

Well, girl, I'm here now, so...

Hey,

Maya, can you bring me the weighing file?

Here you go, Auntie Joan.

Oh, Jabari, you're here.

Again. Yep. Hey, baby, go eat your yogurt under the desk.

I mean the Batcave.

Maya? I know, I know, girl, and I'm sorry, okay? It's just been so hard

childcare since my mother left, but I promise it's not going to be for much

longer. I'm interviewing two sitters tonight.

All right. Can you just please make sure that the senior partners don't see him?

Yeah. Okay.

Jabari, sweetie, I thought I said to eat the yogurt in the Batcave.

I was, Mama, but it smells like feet.

Okay, well, you better start feeling like it because Chris is coming over.

Again? You two are seeing each other like three times a week. What's that all

about?

Uh, we're dating, Lynn, so could you get lost?

I could get lost real good with your car and eight bucks for a movie.

Look, I can't spend my own money. I'm saving for an apartment. And how's that

coming? Not so good.

Actually, I was thinking, what if I were to just stay here?

and give you $200 a month. Now, I know it might not sound like a lot, but think

about it this way. $2 ,400 a year tax -free. I don't want your

money, okay? I just want my guest room back. And I just want your

dog to stop humping my leg.

It's going to be your room.

Where'd Bosco go? I got a present for him.

Bosco! Bosco!

Come on!

We're going to have so much fun living together.

We're going to eat together and go for walks, play Frisbee.

God, I love Frisbee. Joan would never play Frisbee.

Oh, talking to Bosco.

No, I was talking to you.

Shelby, I don't get it.

That was the third client meeting in a row to end without results.

I know. But I specialize in results.

What kind of slogan is that if I can't deliver?

I'll tell you.

That's no slogan.

That's a noggin.

I know what the problem is.

It's your hair. It's dishonest.

What?

Just think about it.

You position yourself to represent a clientele that spends millions of

on high -end real estate.

How can they trust your abilities if they can't trust your hair?

It's not real. It's fake. It's dishonest. So is that padded bra you're

but I didn't bust you all out.

That's it. No more cheese for you. It clogs you up.

Bosco! No!

Feel! Bosco!

Bad dog!

Bad dog!

I'm sorry. He doesn't usually do this.

Bosco!

Hey, boy.

Hey, you remember me?

Huh?

My God, Bosco, I can't believe this.

I've been so worried about you.

He looks good.

Where have you been, and how are you?

I'm fine.

It's really good to see you.

We should get some coffee or talk.

We really don't have anything to talk about.

Take care.

Bye, boy.

Is there a problem, officer?

Do you know why I pulled you over?

I'm assuming it was that rolling stop I made back there.

No. My partner, Yvonne Blackwell, saw you and asked me to pull you over.

Yvonne's with you?

Mm -hmm.

Well, why isn't she talking to me?

I'm asking the questions here, buddy.

Yeah, Yvonne was feeling a little bit guilty about leaving you at the altar

wanted to make sure you were all right.

Okay.

The first question is, how you doing?

Are you happy, William?

Well, I'm pretty happy, I guess.

Come on, man. I got to give him more than that.

Oh, all right. Well, let's see. I just finished a big merger for one of our

farm's biggest clients. Okay. And I just got a new recliner for the den.

It's got a cup holder.

Cup holder?

How is Yvonne?

Is she happy?

She is doing so good. Okay, you know, she's back on the floor. She got a

afro back, and she gained about 40 pounds.

Not because of you, though.

This is happy weight.

Well, this is ridiculous. We should be talking face -to -face.

Back in the car, sir.

Put your hands on the steering wheel.

All right.

Now, about that rolling stop, I'm going to have to write you up. It's nothing

personal. Just got a quota to meet.

You know, I got it all figured out, okay?

You need to pick up Jabari at 3 .20, so he can be at Karate by 4, okay? Now,

Cousin Ronnie's going to pick him up, take him to the salon at 5, all right?

then... Yes, Ronnie?

You got a better cousin?

You know what?

Don't start with me. Okay, yes, they got snacks, okay? Plus, you know the boy

needs a trim.

Now, Ronnie is going to take him to Cousin Trey's at 6 .45 for dinner, and I

will pick him up by... Maya?

Hold on.

Yeah? What time is my meeting with Sweet Olsen?

3, 4... I don't know, Judd. I can't keep track of everything.

7 .30. Okay, now, he can watch his favorite show at 8 as long as he's

with his homework by 7 .45.

What's up?

Hey, how was your day, Rumi?

Weird.

Mine, too.

I saw Yvonne today, kind of.

Oh, my God, and I saw Vasco.

Yeah, I do, too. He's in the kitchen with his head in the trash.

Vosko the man.

It was really weird.

He wouldn't even talk to me.

You know, Yvonne wouldn't talk to me, either.

I mean, there she was in the squad car, 25 feet behind me.

The woman I loved, the woman I was gonna marry, and she's off having her life,

and I'm having mine.

You okay?

Yeah, I guess.

It's kind of strange, you know?

Yeah. Tell me about it.

All the time.

I was worried about Vosko, the man.

Wondering if he was back in Jamaica or here in L .A.

or... Off at sea on an intertube, sucking on a jerk chicken wing.

Does everybody think my feelings are a big joke?

I mean, the whole time I was with Vosko, you, Joan, Tony, and Maya seemed to

think it was just fine to make jokes about it. And since we broke up, the

just keep coming.

We just thought since you made jokes that... Oh, I know.

It's my frustration.

And it wasn't fair to him.

He was a good guy.

And I loved him.

I still do.

I'm sorry, Lynn. I had no idea.

It's because you never asked.

Nobody did.

Tony and Joan break up with a guy after one date and it becomes a forum on

blackvoices .com.

I break up with Vodka after living together and I get jerked chicken jokes,

just kept it to myself.

Well, Lynn, whenever you need to talk, I'm here for you.

I was kind of still talking about it.

William. Whoa!

Half naked man in here. Half naked man in here.

Big deal.

You've seen one. You've seen them all.

Well, then you don't need to see this one or his two friends.

So turn your head for a second.

Fine.

All right.

William, I was thinking about our conversation yesterday.

You know, how similar situations are and how we're both just out of deep

relationships and both a little too fragile to jump back into the whole

thing, but also both... Nice people.

Horny.

Look, we're both human, and we have basic human needs.

So, do you want to be sex buddies?

Look, we're already friends, so there's already a comfort level.

And I am talking safe sex without all the dating, emotion, or attachment that

neither one of us is ready for.

What? Is it too weird?

It's weird you think you need to sell me on it.

Great. Then, uh, how about dropping him drawers?

What, now?

I can't do it now. I'm supposed to meet the guys for a game of... Now is

perfect. What am I talking about? I love now.

What about, uh, what about protection?

Oh, got it covered. Just gotta get it through the next couple hours.

Would it ruin the moment right now if I did a happy dance?

Yeah, I think it would.

Then I can wait till later.

I got here early to prep you.

Tony's taking a big step. It took me a week to get here and there. I need you

be supportive.

Go team.

Big step? What big step?

Patience, Joan.

Here she comes now. I need to see your supportive faces.

Good. Good.

Knees work.

Wow. Oh, my God, Tony. You look amazing.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What's different?

in your glasses.

She doesn't wear glasses. It's her hair, William.

And it looks great.

You guys, you guys really like it? Tony, you look beautiful.

And honest.

Honesty has replaced integrity as a must -have character trait.

Well, then, honestly, I'm still not feeling it. In fact, I have Nico on

emergency standby just keeping my weave warm.

God, don't worry.

Big changes always take a little time to get used to.

Like when I changed my cabinet knobs from pewter to brush stainless. Whoa, I

not comfortable with that decision right away, but now I love them.

I do.

I can see you're in good hands here.

I'm going to get back to the office. Got to get ready for that coming flood of

new clients hungry for honesty.

By the way, Joan, pewter is honest, brush stainless, showy.

Yeah, I got to get going too.

Oh, Lynn, I'm stopping off by the store on the way home. Do you want anything?

No. Oh, actually, yeah, boss is going to need some dog food. And I'm going to be

home late, so could you feed him and read him a story before he goes to bed?

Does he like science fiction?

He's more into self -help.

Bye, Willie.

Bye -bye.

Oh, my God. You guys are so cute.

You're like an old married couple.

Oh, please. Old married couples don't have nearly as much sex as we do.

Yuck. No, we're sex buddies.

Joan, could you pass with Bobby?

Sex buddies?

Okay, that is just wrong.

Okay, okay. You gotta tell me, is what Yvonne said about William true?

You know.

Don't see what the big deal is.

Joan, it's just sex.

No, it is not just sex, Tony.

It's a potential disaster.

I mean, what happens when one of you starts liking the other one and then

feelings get hurt and then it gets all awkward between the two of you and there

we are stuck in the middle having to choose between you and William?

I mean, don't you see?

God, Lynn, you're jeopardizing our friendship.

Joan, relax. You really are making a bigger deal out of this than it is.

Oh, I get it. I give.

You win. You know what? You can move back in. Woo! I'm not trying to work you

here. No, I like my room at William.

And I like my arrangement with William.

Joan, Joan, Joan.

Are you jealous?

Okay, you know what?

I am not even going to dignify that with an answer, okay?

But no.

No, I am not, okay?

Definitely not. Enough, all right?

Did I say that I am not jealous?

Yeah, well, my old buddy Vasco licked my toes and shot me through the roof.

Yeah, Vasco's a little kinky.

Aren't you, boy?

Aren't you kinky?

another condom.

Might as well use it, right?

I think there's a little puff left in the magic dragon.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You like that, huh?

Papa likes that, Yvonne.

Hey, where you going?

William, you just called me Yvonne.

No, I didn't. I said, are ye having fun?

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait.

So I was fantasizing a little bit.

So? You still miss her.

Well, you miss Vasco.

Yeah, but I mean, I'm not calling out his name in the middle of our thing.

I don't even think about him when we're having sex.

William, you're thinking about her.

William, you are not capable of giving me as little as I need from this

relationship.

You're afraid of a lack of commitment.

You know, I am sorry that I ever suggested being sex buddies.

Wait a minute. What about the magic dragon?

Oh, puppet yourself.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Well, the whole sex buddy thing didn't work out. He called out

Yvonne's name last night. I mean, the whole point of being sex buddies was no

strings, no emotion, no attachment. But now it's like there's...

I hate to say I told you so, but you just did.

And I'm right.

Sorry, but honesty is in.

Okay, so here's the thing.

I need a place to stay.

Sure, Lynn.

Okay, and I promise this time it won't be for long.

I have faith that there is a $200 a month hellhole with my name on it out

God, Lynn, it's William. What do you want me to tell him?

See, it's weird already.

Hey.

Lynn,

why did you move out?

William, Lynn doesn't want to be your sex buddy anymore.

Or roommate.

It's just gotten too complicated.

You still want Yvonne.

I don't want Yvonne. Yes, you do.

You shouted out her name.

Well, you did.

You're right, I did.

I had some things I needed to resolve for myself, so I went to see her this

morning. And?

And it's over.

It's really over.

I'm sorry, William.

Gosh, me too.

Don't be sorry.

I was holding on to this fantasy about us getting back together, and she was

holding on to the guilt over dumping me, and we needed to let those things go

and move on with our lives.

I got my key and my ring back, and she's going to go on a diet.

Happy weight my ass. That was 40 pounds of guilt hanging on those thighs.

So what do you say, Rumi? You want to come home?

No.

Yeah, you just want more of the Lynn Finn.

As good as it is, Lynn, no, I don't.

I want sex with strings attached.

I want romance. I want to build a future with somebody.

I know now there's not going to be with Yvonne, but I know she's out there

somewhere. And he's out there for you, too, Lynn.

I know you love Vasco, but he's gone, and you're going to have to move on.

Wait.

Lynn.

You never told me that you were really in love with Vasco.

Well, Joan, there's certain things that only roommates who'd listen can share.

William, I'm happy you've had this whole love epiphany thing, but...

I'm still digging the idea of sex with no strings attached, which doesn't

include you, because obviously you come with strings.

Lynn, when are you going to stop hiding behind sex and admit that you want

someone to spoon with every night who isn't canine?

You're right.

I do want more.

You're right. Come on, let's take Bosco home.

Uh -uh. Uh -uh. No, no. Lynn is moving back in here. I know that you guys...

are all in love with the idea of love right now. But somebody's going to have

weak moment. And before you know it, y 'all are going to be tapping each

asses again.

Joan, please, give us some credit here.

People grow. People change.

People learn.

We've all learned a valuable lesson.

If William and I should ever choose to become sex buddies again, we've learned

never to tell you.

It just was not me, and I could not do it.

This whole thing about dishonest hair was so bogus. This is genuine Korean

which I paid for with good, honest money.

This is me, damn it.

It'll be anything else but me.

Now, that's dishonest.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I guess.

Hey, baby.

Hi, Mommy.

Tony, thank you so much for watching my little man.

It was my pleasure. We really connected.

Jamal is a very wise young man.

Tony, his name is Jabari.

But he looks like a Jamal.

Mommy, please find me a real sitter.