Original subtitles

William, just think.

A few months ago, I was down and out, peddling through the streets of Los

Angeles with nothing but these and a prayer.

But now look at me. I have a company and one of L .A.'s best lawyers.

And as one of the best, I'm going to need a $10 ,000 retainer against a $400

hour rate.

$400? You ain't that good.

All right, $250.

I was trying to see if I could get over.

I like that in a lawyer conniving and sneaky and tripping because 250 is crazy

money

Come on. Get off your knees. No, I want you to go over to what?

Chris, Chris, I cannot do this. Why not?

Because I look cute.

Last night, we had a Joan day. We went and we saw a play at the table. But

tonight, we're going to have a Chris day. It'll be fun.

I don't get it. How is jumping over a fence and hiking up a hill fun? It will

fun once we get to the top and we start making out under the stars, okay?

Why don't we go to the movies and watch two stars make out? Joe, come on.

Chris, I'm going to scuff my shoe. Oh, take them off. No, I'm not, no.

Oh, oh, okay.

What are you doing?

I'm rubbing on this pretty foot about to nibble all on it.

All right, well, don't forget the other one.

Oh, hey, oh, God!

Not my Christian love again!

There you are.

Yep, here I am. Hi, Tony. Don't hi -Tony me. Why... haven't you gotten back to

me? Are you or are you not my attorney?

Well, I would be if you hadn't postdated your check.

Doesn't matter.

Okay, we shook on it. Therefore, I own you.

Perhaps you're not familiar with the 13th Amendment to the Constitution,

prohibits slavery.

Of course I'm not. That's why I need an attorney.

You're right, Tony. I am your lawyer.

But first, we need to set some parameters.

First of all, you don't interrupt my dinner time.

I have a very delicate digestive system and a not fully functional uvula.

Secondly, I'm not available between 5 a .m. and 7 a .m. That's when I meditate,

work out, and have my daily chat with Mom.

I need it.

Okay, well, that means that the rest of the day belongs to me.

And don't tell me you've got other work because I've been down to that firm and

y 'all don't do diddly.

Tony, what's the problem?

A blockbuster bill?

just the bill. That's a character assassination.

Some pimple -faced little clerk had the audacity to accuse Tony Childs of not

returning chicken run.

Pick up Jabari from some ranger station.

Of course, my baby knows better than to trespass. I guess it all comes down to

home training.

No, thanks to your mama, Joan.

Oh, my God, you guys.

Joan has achy on her neck.

It's one month, and we're right on schedule.

Okay, remind me how old you are again. 30. Going on stupid.

Okay, okay, I got busted.

So what?

No, no, no, Joan. You see, there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who

post bail, you, and those who need bail, me.

You guys, I'm loosening up, shaking up my image. Don't you remember on my 30th

birthday, I said I was going to start taking more risks?

Well, Chris is my second chance to be young.

Joan. Are you just using this boy to get your groove back, or do you really,

really like him?

Because my little cousin Tammy needs a date for the spring fling.

And he might like her.

She don't have no three -month -old.

Maya, I really like him.

So tell your little fresh -tailed cousin to back off.

Oh, God, Joan.

I went to the ranger station. I went to the Hollywood precinct. I didn't know

where they took you. I was worried about you, too.

Oh, I'm here now, baby. Come here. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Hold up, playboy.

Why did you abandon our girl? It was dark.

Look, I ran down the mountain with a girl with curly hair, right? And I

that it was Joan until she put up a fight when I tried to put her in the

Fred.

Okay, I like you.

And I think you mean well.

But look, every time I ever got busted for having sex in a public place,

My man stood by my side.

In fact, one time, two men stood by my side.

That's a story for when you're a little older.

Look, I tried.

I really... Well, you know what, Chris? Hello? You need to try a little harder,

okay? Yeah. When we put Joan in your care, we didn't expect to have to bust

out of Oz.

Whoa, wait a minute. They put you behind bars? No.

Chris, I got a police citation.

Well, technically, Lynn got the citation.

You put my name on your citation?

I am a lawyer. I could be attorney general one day. I can't let this whole

Runyon Gate thing ruin me.

Are you sure you can get rid of these hickeys by the morning? Believe me, the

cold spoon always works.

Oh, come in. I know, I know. Joan?

I hope that you don't think I'm being a bad influence on you. No, I mean, you

know, I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do, am I? Don't be

ridiculous. I'm a big girl. I make my own decisions.

So, what do you want to do now?

Whatever you want to do.

It is about time.

No, not that.

Look, where are we on the whole basis thing again?

Well, we are two weeks from third and two months from home.

You know, after all this waiting, you better be a freak.

William, why are you avoiding me?

I am so sorry, Mr. Dent. I know I'm supposed to tell her that you're not

but she scares me.

Oh, sweetie, you don't have to be afraid of me.

Tony Charles is a friend to all.

I am working. Why are you here?

Now, I thought we set up some parameters.

Oh, parameters, shrameters.

My manicurist is trying to pull a fast one.

Is this a French tip to you?

You can't be hassling me every five seconds.

I have other clients that need me besides you. Now, you hired me for

services, not personal idiotic ones.

Look, Buster.

I'll have you note the name of my business is Tony Childs Realty. If Tony

is stressed, the business is stressed. Ipso facto, Tony Childs is your

Now, pull out your Polaroid and start snapping pictures of Exhibits A

J.

Something about a madman and... Build up that! ...armed and ready.

Wee!

Man, that mix was tight, Chris.

Hit me back on the two -way, man, in about a week. You know, I'm gonna be in

studio with one of my new artists, man. I might have something for you. Well,

thanks, man!

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Yay!

Oh, yeah. Wait, I know you.

You're Lil' Romeo's daddy.

And who are you, Chris' mama?

Hey,

B, this is my girl, June.

Nice to meet you. I guess you do have your own identity.

I was just kind of like kitten when I see the Chris mama thing.

You way sexy.

I'm so

impressed. You know, Mr. P.

Are you impressed enough to knock a month off the three month rule?

Okay, I want to see your sexy butt on the dance floor.

Booty shaking has inspired me. Oh, so I've been told.

Chris,

you want a sweet and tiny?

I'll take one.

No, just relax. You know what? You're hyperventilating, okay?

So just relax.

How can I relax?

I can't relax.

I don't do drugs, Chris.

No, I know, but you didn't know that you was taking it?

Okay, look, it's not really a drug, okay? It's a party pill. You know,

therapists use it for troubled married folks, you know, to get them to hug and

stuff, okay? It's a hug drug, and everybody here is on it, and they're

okay? And you'll be fine.

Chris, I don't feel fine. Okay, look, look, you'll come down in about four

hours, I promise, okay? Or sooner, because I just snapped out of mind.

Listen, listen, you're just having a bad trip. Okay, so I want you to drink some

water. No, I don't want any water. I just want my head to stop pounding.

Okay, listen, listen. I'm going to go get my shift covered now. I'll take you

home, okay?

Take her to the hospital. No, no, no, please, guys, no.

I'm a lawyer.

They're going to think I'm a drug addict. I could get fired.

You know what? You're driving me crazy with that.

What? It's the ecstasy commenced with your spinal fluid level and that some

people have strokes.

Okay, that's it. We're going to the emergency room. Come on. No, no, no, no,

no, no. Chris said that this is going to wear off after about four hours. He

said it's the hug drug.

I probably just need a hug.

Okay, Joan.

That is how they sell you. They tell you it's a hug drug. Oh, it was once legal.

Therapists use it.

Why are you yelling when my head hurts like this and my body is over there?

Because, Joan, you took a street drug.

You don't even know what's in it. It could be laced with anything.

Heroin, PCP, speed...

Don't hate because your hair's all tore up.

You guys, thank you so much for staying here with me.

Oh, Joan.

Of course we stayed.

We love you.

Joan. Well, look, the candy man.

What the hell are you doing here? I thought I told you down at the club to

away from Joan. I just wanted to make sure that Joan was okay.

I've been to every hospital in town.

Where was all that concern when you were doping her up down at that crack house?

Tony.

Tony. No, no, Joan. This man is no good for you.

You know what?

You just locked down on a date with my little cousin Tammy, too.

What? I'm tired.

You know what, Chris? Right now is not really a good time. Why don't you just

go? No, stay, okay?

You guys just give me a minute to talk to Chris, okay?

I can handle this. All right.

But if he pulls out any more of those funny pills, you holler. Move!

Do they think I'm some

kind of drug addict?

Yeah. And my pusher.

Joan, it was an accident. An accident?

Chris, I have an IV in my arm. But you should know that I would never hurt you.

And you should know me well enough to know that I would never take ecstasy.

I thought that, you know, you was drinking. I just assumed that I... I

up.

You know what?

You don't know me, and I clearly don't know you.

Because I don't date people who do drugs.

Now, wait a minute.

All right, now look, you're talking to me like I'm a drug addict. I pop X every

once in a while.

I don't do drugs ever, and I don't date people who do drugs ever. Okay, okay,

I'll stop.

All right, look, maybe we don't know each other as well as we thought. But

I know you, and I know you well enough to know that I don't want us to stop

seeing each other.

Why, Crip?

What do you like about me? Well, for one thing, I like the fact that you took a

chance on me.

I know that people have been cracking on you about us, but you're a strong woman

with a strong mind.

I like the fact that you introduced me to new things. I had never been to a

before.

You know?

And funny enough, I kind of like the fact you got a three -month rule.

I do. I even told my sister that she should get one.

And on top of all that, I just... I just think that you're really beautiful.

Don't believe him.

He's a druggie.

I got H for you. I saw the corner.

He's just trying to get in your purse and get some money for his next fix.

Tony Child.

All right, all right, but don't blame me when you're selling scrap metal to

support his habit.

I saw that on the corner, too.

Okay, I know that you guys are really mad at me now, but I don't want us to

seeing each other.

Don't. Not over some ex. Look, it's not a big deal to me. I don't need it, and I

don't want it.

And in fact, after what's happened to you, I'm done.

I meant what I said before, and that's true whether you want to keep seeing me

or not.

Well... I guess not everything we had

was bad.

Joan, look, I am so sorry.

Can we start over?

Oh, we would have to.

Chris, we've been going out for a month, and we don't know much about each

other. I mean, all that stuff you said about me being strong and beautiful

proves that you do know me a little bit.

Okay?

But not enough.

All right, well, I look forward to getting to know you.

Well, good.

Because we're going to have a lot of time to talk. That whole three -month

thing?

It's going to start again.

That's your punishment.

But I just ran from you in the lobby.

Damn, woman, you're not just crazy. You're... You're a witch.