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1
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,660
Guys, I don't feel like going home.
2
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:09,380
Let's do something. Let's go out.
3
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:12,680
Oh, we're going out. We're going to the
movies. We can waste all this cute
4
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,640
sitting in the dark. I don't think so.
5
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:19,380
We're not really going, all right? Y
'all are just my alibi for my husband.
6
00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:21,560
I'm going for coffee with Stan.
7
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:28,040
Oh, I know all about that kind of
coffee. Strong, black, and hot.
8
00:00:30,420 --> 00:00:34,180
Look. I told you guys, it's not like
that, all right? Stan and I are just
9
00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:35,180
friends. That's it.
10
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:38,380
I just need to figure out the fastest
way to the Marriott.
11
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,900
What? Is there going to be a coffee
show?
12
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:45,420
Bye. Bye.
13
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:46,960
Bye.
14
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:51,320
Okay, that's it for three of us. Where
are we going?
15
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:53,920
Actually, I promised Vasco I'd have sex
tonight.
16
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,720
I didn't promise it'd be with him, but I
think he'd be pissed if it wasn't.
17
00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:01,150
Bye. Okay, bye -bye.
18
00:01:03,070 --> 00:01:04,310
Okay, Tony, it's me and you.
19
00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:06,590
Unless you've got an affair or a sex
appointment.
20
00:01:06,890 --> 00:01:08,790
Hey, you bought me dinner. I'm yours for
the night.
21
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,090
I've got some groceries. I'm yours for
the week.
22
00:01:44,869 --> 00:01:46,850
Tony, I'm working on my woman of mystery
look.
23
00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:49,268
What do you think?
24
00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:50,270
It's working.
25
00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:51,870
Because I don't know what the hell
you're doing.
26
00:01:52,610 --> 00:01:54,590
Oh, just spoil the moment, why don't
you?
27
00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:57,470
I'm feeling very sexy. Okay. Very
classy.
28
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,250
Very... buzzed.
29
00:02:01,810 --> 00:02:02,950
What number am I on?
30
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:05,450
One. Ooh, I better slow down.
31
00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:08,850
Oh, Tony.
32
00:02:09,289 --> 00:02:10,470
That guy's checking you out.
33
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:13,630
Oh, I'm so bored with being worshipped.
34
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,240
Can I buy you a drink?
35
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,600
Oh, um, thank you, but I don't drink.
36
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,180
Okay, can you buy me a drink?
37
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,640
Okay, that's kind of cute.
38
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:34,400
Um, how about I flirt with you and we
call it even?
39
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,500
Okay, I'll just, uh, spin over this way.
40
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:43,960
Sure.
41
00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:48,060
I hope this is your stop.
42
00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:52,860
I don't know what just happened. I guess
someone must have WD -40'd around here.
43
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,380
How are you? I'm Jackson Vance. I know.
44
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,900
I love all of your movies.
45
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,940
Even the one with the chimp?
46
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,200
Okay. What was that about?
47
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,420
About 10 million.
48
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:11,600
It's Jackson. It's Jackson Vance. Oh,
yeah.
49
00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:13,900
Jackson, good to see you again.
50
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:14,999
We met?
51
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,360
Yeah, at that screening at Woolen J.
52
00:03:17,770 --> 00:03:20,590
You didn't tell me you went to the
screening. I didn't, but that's how you
53
00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:22,530
to play them. I'll give you the attitude
and I'll run with it. Okay.
54
00:03:24,030 --> 00:03:26,730
Hey, I'm seated over here. Would you
like to join me?
55
00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:30,970
Oh, gosh, I don't know. I'm actually
supposed to be meeting Wesley.
56
00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:35,650
Wesley's in Japan.
57
00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:38,010
That trickster.
58
00:03:39,890 --> 00:03:43,330
Okay, I don't know him. I was really
just trying to impress you.
59
00:03:43,630 --> 00:03:44,630
Have I?
60
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:46,690
I was impressed before you said
anything.
61
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,420
I'll just shut up then.
62
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,460
I've seen those ads.
63
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,400
Tony Child.
64
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,200
You specialize in results.
65
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,840
Well, I don't want to toot my own horn.
66
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:03,500
But toot toot.
67
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,580
I like to think I specialize in results
too.
68
00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:09,380
Are you trying to take my line?
69
00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:11,200
No, I'm trying to take you out.
70
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:12,420
Oh.
71
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,060
Would you like to go out with me
sometime?
72
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:15,620
Sure, why not?
73
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:17,220
How about Saturday?
74
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,000
Works for me.
75
00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:20,310
Good, I have a sitter that night.
76
00:04:20,529 --> 00:04:21,529
Oh, a house sitter?
77
00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,530
No, no, I have custody of my eight -year
-old.
78
00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:26,690
An eight -year -old what, exactly?
79
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,250
I have a daughter.
80
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:33,050
Oh. That's not going to be a problem, is
it? No, no, not a problem at all.
81
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:36,330
Uh -uh, I do not date a man with
children.
82
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:39,890
Oh, come on, I think guys with kids are
sweet.
83
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:42,830
And they are so thankful for any sex to
give them.
84
00:04:44,610 --> 00:04:48,950
It's messy. At some point, the child's
needs and my needs will collide and...
85
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,840
When I inevitably get my way, the little
brat will resent me, so why go there?
86
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:57,980
Uh -uh. I think men with children are
sexy. Girl, nothing turns me on more
87
00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:01,600
watching Darnell hang out with Jabbar.
If he's so sexy, Maya, why are you
88
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,600
cheating on him?
89
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:06,200
Bitch, I'm just trying to enlighten you,
okay?
90
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,220
And I told you guys, all right? Stan is
just a friend.
91
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,590
Tony. Perhaps the reason you have issues
with children is because you're a child
92
00:05:14,590 --> 00:05:18,870
yourself. Yeah, I, on the other hand,
have the sophistication and the maturity
93
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:21,390
to attract Jackson Vance. Oh.
94
00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:24,350
I'm dating a movie star.
95
00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:26,050
I've got his number.
96
00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:30,830
Wait a minute. Jackson Vance gave you
his home phone number? His pager number.
97
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:31,930
Same thing.
98
00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:33,870
Mm -hmm.
99
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:35,750
What?
100
00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:37,870
What is wrong with a pager number?
101
00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:39,910
It's not that I hate children.
102
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,100
I like them in a petting zoo kind of
way. You know?
103
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:46,640
I'm just not good with them. This will
give you a chance to practice.
104
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,740
You always said you wanted to have
children. No, I said I'd have to have
105
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,120
children. But that deal comes with a
rich man, a nanny, and a tummy tuck.
106
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:57,560
Tony, go out with a man. You need a
date. And I need somebody else to pay
107
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:58,720
your meals for a change.
108
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:00,700
Well, I do like him.
109
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,260
And he does own a couple of fast food
restaurants.
110
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,600
They're not high end, but a girl's got
to eat, right?
111
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,460
I'm going to go call Randall since I
have his home number.
112
00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:12,920
Yeah, and what if he's not there? Then
what are you going to do, huh?
113
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,380
You're going to wish you had his pager
number.
114
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,180
But anyway, y 'all, I've got to go and
meet Stan.
115
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:24,480
And by the way, y 'all are dragging me
to that huge white cell at Stroud's. And
116
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,940
Lynn, I'm your ride, so you cannot go
home until the store closes.
117
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:30,780
Huh? Yeah, I'm tired of covering for
you.
118
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:33,020
Vasco's starting to think that I'm
cheating on him.
119
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,300
Wait a minute, that could be way out.
120
00:06:35,580 --> 00:06:37,340
Girl, we had so much fun at Stroud's.
121
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:39,100
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
122
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:44,300
are leaving until you explain to me what
is wrong with the pager number john
123
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:48,480
okay when somebody gives you their pager
number that means they got something to
124
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:54,160
hide well that's not always true dan
only has my pager number marinate on
125
00:06:54,160 --> 00:07:01,720
wow
126
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,680
you tell the best stories me you're the
one who dated a guy wearing a girdle
127
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:13,610
And if another funny thing happens to me
in the next couple of days, wouldn't it
128
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:15,790
be fun for me to call you and tell you
about it?
129
00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:17,730
Yeah, that'd be all right.
130
00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:21,850
Yeah.
131
00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:25,590
I could just page you and wait for you
to call me back.
132
00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:28,230
So, what's going on?
133
00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:33,590
What's going on is you can reach me, but
I can't reach you. I mean, what are you
134
00:07:33,590 --> 00:07:34,590
hiding?
135
00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:35,630
More women?
136
00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:39,310
No, really, more women?
137
00:07:40,729 --> 00:07:41,729
You'd be in good company.
138
00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,710
No, really, you would.
139
00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:49,530
Jackson, I'm serious.
140
00:07:51,790 --> 00:07:52,629
It's all fine.
141
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:54,130
Fine, I'll give you my home number.
142
00:07:54,470 --> 00:07:56,390
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's up to you. It's
no pressure.
143
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,740
So happy that you can't ruin my high.
144
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:17,740
I have the home number of Jackson Van
Action Star. Do you want to hear his
145
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:18,840
message? Yeah, yeah.
146
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,560
What do I do if he picks up? Oh, no,
he's not home. He's on location.
147
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:26,240
He's doing reshoots. Oh, reshoots are
when you... I know, I know.
148
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,040
Dated in the biz.
149
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:32,620
He puts his theme music on his answering
machine?
150
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,440
Yeah. What a poser.
151
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:35,459
Give me this.
152
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:36,460
Forget it, William.
153
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,240
I didn't want you to feel left out. I
wanted to give you an experience that
154
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,460
everyone on the floor has already had.
155
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:47,900
Joan, are you familiar with the TV
phenomenon known as Blue's Clues?
156
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,680
Yeah.
157
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,860
Well, yours truly has dated the voice of
the pepper shaker. And I've learned the
158
00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:57,700
hard way. Do not get caught up in the
celebrity whirlwind.
159
00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,300
They're just people.
160
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,540
And as soon as you lose sight of that,
Matt Damon is going to swoop down and
161
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:03,540
take her away from you.
162
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:09,660
Sam, are you trying to tell me that Matt
Damon is dating Mrs. Pepper?
163
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,640
You did not hear that from me.
164
00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:23,260
Uh,
165
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,600
I can explain.
166
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,340
Okay. Dart?
167
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,940
Okay, the babysitter canceled on me at
the last minute. I've been trying to get
168
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,560
my mother on the telephone, but no luck.
I know she'll be home any second.
169
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,320
And, uh...
170
00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:37,410
Oh, anyway, this is Courtney.
171
00:09:38,970 --> 00:09:39,970
Hey, Courtney.
172
00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:42,610
I'm Miss Tony.
173
00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:46,730
Courtney. Hi.
174
00:09:48,090 --> 00:09:51,070
Well, come on in and take your shoes
off. Take your shoes off, sweetie.
175
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:52,910
Are her hands clean?
176
00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:54,830
My hands are clean.
177
00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:59,390
Well, uh, Randall, do you need to call
your mother again?
178
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:00,890
I'm hungry.
179
00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:02,870
Sweetie, we'll be at Grandma's in a few.
180
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,090
My blood sugar's dropping.
181
00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:10,570
Okay, um, listen, Tony, I have pizza
here for you. Do you mind if she just
182
00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:12,370
here really quick? Oh, oh, oh, sure.
183
00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:16,170
Um, um, let's not eat on the good table.
My clean lady doesn't come until
184
00:10:16,170 --> 00:10:17,170
Thursday.
185
00:10:17,490 --> 00:10:18,490
Here you go, sweetie.
186
00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:23,170
Now, if you want to call your mother
again, the phone, it's right here.
187
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,490
Daddy, we've got to go rent Spy Kids.
188
00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:29,790
Sweetie, Grandma's got videos of her
place. But she doesn't have Spy Kids.
189
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:32,770
promised that if you went out on a date,
I could watch Spy Kids.
190
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:37,040
Tony, just let me run down to
Blockbuster while she eats her pain. By
191
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,500
get back, I would have reached my
mother, and we can still bank our dinner
192
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,800
reservations, all right? I'm sorry.
193
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,040
Oh.
194
00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:16,930
Oh, not with your hair like that,
Courtney.
195
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:20,830
I know it got messed up. Well, then
we'll just have to fix it up.
196
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:24,730
See, if your daddy sees your hair like
this, he's going to think it's worse
197
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:25,730
it is.
198
00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:29,190
Courtney, this is a really good lesson
for you to learn now.
199
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:34,450
No matter how much you hurt on the
inside, you must always look fabulous
200
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,890
the world preys on weakness and it's
never fair to ugly.
201
00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:39,870
Okay. Will you make it pretty like
yours?
202
00:12:40,070 --> 00:12:41,210
Honey, I only have a brush.
203
00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:43,450
Daddy!
204
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:48,180
Your arm doing what?
205
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,720
Jumping on Miss Tony's couch.
206
00:12:51,940 --> 00:12:56,340
Courtney, I told you. Don't be mad at
her. It was my fault. I scared her in
207
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,340
-jump.
208
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:00,540
So if you don't want to see me anymore,
I understand.
209
00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:04,540
I just need $20 to get my car to the
valet and maybe pick up a snack on the
210
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:05,540
home.
211
00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:08,600
Tony, of course I want to see you again.
Accidents happen.
212
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:12,580
Thank God you acted so quickly and
brought her here to the emergency room.
213
00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:14,780
So I did good?
214
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,660
Yes, you did very good.
215
00:13:17,199 --> 00:13:18,260
Oh, thank you.
216
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,560
Look, I'm just going to step outside and
leave you two alone.
217
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,020
Don't go, Miss Tony.
218
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,680
I think she likes you.
219
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,640
Well, I do have a way with children.
220
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,319
Oh, God.
221
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,020
It's got to be Jack, then. I saw on
Access Hollywood that he's back in town.
222
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:46,640
Hello.
223
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:49,680
Hey, Vasco.
224
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,860
Yeah. Oh, you need a ride back from
Magic Mountain?
225
00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:53,839
I'm not here.
226
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,140
Okay, um, she just stepped out.
227
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:57,860
Yeah. Okay.
228
00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,420
Good luck.
229
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:00,880
Bye.
230
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:04,720
Okay, Vasco, it's Trippin. How are you
supposed to go pick him up if you don't
231
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:05,720
have a car?
232
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:09,200
Okay, so you see what I'm dealing with
here?
233
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:13,180
Okay, you guys, why isn't Jackson
calling me back?
234
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,500
I left him a message.
235
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:18,180
Now, I know he's famous and all, but it
ain't like he's got an Oscar.
236
00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:23,440
You know what? I bet he just lost my
phone number. Because with those
237
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,600
types, that can happen.
238
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:27,960
Oh, yeah. Or maybe he just doesn't like
you. That can happen, too.
239
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:31,840
Yoo -hoo.
240
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:34,260
Ladies.
241
00:14:35,980 --> 00:14:37,620
I would like you to meet Courtney.
242
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,400
Courtney, these are the girlfriends.
243
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:42,660
That's Miss Joan, Miss Lynn, and Miss
Maya.
244
00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:46,100
Hi. You've got this child drinking
coffee.
245
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,960
It's a latte. It's mostly milk.
246
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,640
Don't spoil our diva's day out on
Courtney.
247
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,920
Yes, Miss Tony.
248
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,820
So, Courtney, how old are you?
249
00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:00,740
A lady doesn't escalate her age, and a
lady never tells. Right, Miss Tony?
250
00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:02,400
The child is gifted.
251
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:08,280
Miss Tony, this coffee is running
through me. I need to use the bathroom.
252
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:12,900
It's around the corner, but, honey, it's
better to say you need to check your
253
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:17,580
makeup. Nobody needs to know your
business. And don't forget to wash my
254
00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:21,810
know, because I... I'm Courtney Potter,
and I specialize in results.
255
00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:24,450
That's cute.
256
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:28,910
You know, it's enough that we got to
deal with one of you in the world. We
257
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:29,729
need to.
258
00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:33,050
Please, I wish somebody could pump some
class into my country -ass childhood.
259
00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:36,390
You know, Tony, I think you're good with
her.
260
00:15:36,610 --> 00:15:39,690
You might be feeling her with
superficial and reprimanded values, but
261
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,190
doing it well. Thank you.
262
00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:44,210
Guys, I think I found my late maternal
instinct.
263
00:15:44,690 --> 00:15:47,830
Tony, didn't you break the child's arm?
Aren't you cheating on your husband?
264
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,800
A friend your husband doesn't know
about.
265
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,060
By the way, Tony, I was with you last
night at the hospital just in case
266
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:58,440
asked. You were with Stan again last
night?
267
00:15:58,820 --> 00:16:01,300
Actually, Mom and I were at the strip
club in Gardena.
268
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:04,980
I don't need to know.
269
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,660
Darnell doesn't need to know about that
either.
270
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,100
I wish he would have called to rescue me
from Bosco.
271
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,260
Guys, I don't know if I'm turning into
Tony, but...
272
00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:18,590
having sex with an unemployed man.
273
00:16:19,010 --> 00:16:22,070
Unemployed? Hell, I don't know how you'd
be having sex with an uncircumcised
274
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:23,070
man.
275
00:16:24,270 --> 00:16:25,270
Shoot,
276
00:16:27,090 --> 00:16:29,990
if it wasn't for my porn collection, I
wouldn't be having any orgasms at all.
277
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:33,230
Girl, you got some serious man problems.
278
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:36,650
Girl, I have man problems, too.
279
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:41,330
Um,
280
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:44,110
sweetheart, how much did you hear?
281
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:52,860
You're worried about boys, and until you
can read Zora Neale Hurston and write a
282
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,860
ten -page thesis, you need to steer
clear of their twisted little minds.
283
00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:58,600
I know, but I like him, and he won't
sign my case.
284
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,740
Oh, honey, unless his name is Louis
Vuitton or Gucci.
285
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,120
That's tacky anyway.
286
00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,400
Okay, how long do I have to sit here and
pretend I don't know you?
287
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:15,400
Just give it another half hour.
288
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,579
Jackson's always here on Wednesday
nights.
289
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:19,910
Joe misses Tuesday.
290
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:23,450
Damn.
291
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:30,170
So, as I was saying yesterday, how long
do I have to sit here and pretend I
292
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:30,829
don't know you?
293
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:34,810
Just until Jackson gets here. And if he
acts interested, you're just some
294
00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:37,150
stranger at the barn. If he blows me
off, you play for the Lakers.
295
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:45,990
Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, yes, he did.
296
00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:47,270
Uh -uh.
297
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,320
Hi, you can't return my phone call? I
know you got my message.
298
00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:55,980
Yes, I did.
299
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,320
Oh, 40 of them.
300
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,460
Okay, what are you talking about? I only
left you one message.
301
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:03,559
I have call ID.
302
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,740
Your number showed up over 40 times.
Now, look, Joan, I've been in these
303
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:07,740
situations before.
304
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,300
Oh, no, no. I don't need another one.
Stalker? No, no, no. A stalker is
305
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,580
who follows people around.
306
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:14,200
And here you are.
307
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:16,660
Okay, okay.
308
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,820
I might have called you a few dozen
times. One of my friends and colleagues
309
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:25,640
know that I... Okay, I missed you. No,
I'm obsessive -compulsive, okay? And I
310
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,860
working that out in outpatient... Okay,
look, the point is, okay?
311
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,940
Me, I am not a stalker. Just stay away
from me, or I'll turn your name over to
312
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:36,200
the LAPD Stalker Division.
313
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,440
It's Mrs. Pepper all over again.
314
00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:51,729
little Courtney?
315
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:52,730
Uh, confused.
316
00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:54,310
Why? What happened?
317
00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:58,050
Well, let's see. She asked me, what's an
orgasm?
318
00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:01,190
What's a porn collection?
319
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,630
What is circusized?
320
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:06,630
What the hell have you been saying to my
child?
321
00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:11,030
Oh, God. Um, see, you don't understand.
See, um, I went over to my girlfriend's
322
00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:13,730
house and we got to talk. And you gave
her coffee?
323
00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:18,070
Yeah, and I also told her to stay away
from boys and encouraged her to read.
324
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:22,470
Well, she did read. She picked up a Zora
Neale Hurston book, which is hardly PG.
325
00:19:24,410 --> 00:19:28,210
You're not the type of influence I want
around my child, Tony. But your child
326
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,109
loves me.
327
00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:32,310
My child also likes jumping on
furniture, and we see how that turned
328
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:34,530
God, look, I'm sorry. No, no, no.
329
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:37,710
I'm sorry, okay?
330
00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:41,510
I should have checked you out before I
ever exposed my child to you.
331
00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:43,850
So that's it?
332
00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:45,490
That's it.
333
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,990
Tell Courtney thanks for the lattes and
I'll pay her back when I can.
334
00:19:58,310 --> 00:20:03,290
I am not a stalker. Of course you're
not. That loser was lucky to have
335
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,290
as attentive as you.
336
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:06,110
And I was good with that child.
337
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:07,350
Yes, you were.
338
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:10,330
That child was blossoming under your
care.
339
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:13,930
You know what, Tony? It doesn't matter
what anyone thinks of us.
340
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,480
As long as we know the truth, that
should be enough.
341
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:17,700
Damn right.
342
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,799
Damn right.
343
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,800
Woo -hoo.
344
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,960
And I may have lost little Courtney, and
I'm going to miss her. Uh -huh. But I
345
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:28,400
still have my eggs. Yes. And one day,
I'm going to make a fabulous mother.
346
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,060
Fabulous. At least on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays, Tuesdays, and
347
00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:33,060
I'll be at the gym.
348
00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:34,620
Where's the child going to be on the
weekends?
349
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,660
Best thing there, Daddy. Girl, you know
I can't keep a man.
26580
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