Original subtitles

I don't know, baby, I'm not avoiding you.

I'm working late.

Lynn, Lynn, make some office noises.

Ah!

See, baby?

See that? Yeah, yeah, we're getting the coffee and machine fixed.

Yeah, okay. All right, bye.

What was that supposed to be?

I don't know. I never worked in an office before.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Call him back. I just thought of a good

one.

Okay, Maya.

We don't appreciate being drawn into your web of lies. You can't keep hiding

my house.

Go home to your husband.

If I go home, Darnell is just going to want to make love, and I can't do it.

Think Dr. Spence. I cut out my G -spot.

Maya, you can't keep putting the man off, okay?

You need to get back up on the saddle.

Yeah, saddle, harness. I've got a riding prop if you need one.

Where do you want to go for dinner?

I'm in the mood for French food. Oui, oui. I know this cute little bistro in

Silver Lake.

Well, actually, I was thinking about this cute little bistro in Paris.

Paris?

White Leaves, tonight at 10.

First class, sleeper seats. You won't even know you're in the air.

Clay, you are crazy.

Crazy in love.

We are talking Paris, France, right?

You have a passport, don't you? Of course I do.

But... Can we wait and go next week?

Because I have a hair appointment tomorrow and some errands.

You don't have a passport, do you?

That's one of the errands.

Tony. I've been meaning to get one. I just couldn't settle on a picture.

Well, I wanted to give this to you at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

But I can't wait.

I'll give it to you here.

At the top of Mulholland Drive.

Oh, my God, Clay.

You know what that is, don't you?

I'm guessing 5 .2 carats.

Tony, I've been with my share of women through the years.

My friends think it's because I'm a player.

The truth is, I've just been waiting for the right one.

I hope you feel the same way about me.

I do.

Then, will you marry me?

Yes, I will.

Maya, you've read every book on my shelf. You can't honestly be interested

the history of wicker.

Can a woman just avoid her problems in peace?

Hi, everyone.

How you doing?

Hey.

Does anyone know the fastest way to get a passport?

No.

Ow!

Please help me get this flawless five -carat emerald -cut diamond engagement

ring out of my track. Can you help me? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh,

my God! Oh, my God! Let me see! Oh, my God!

Oh, my... How on earth did Greg afford a rock like that?

You must have sat on a lump of coal.

Okay, it's from Tiffany's, and it's not from Greg.

Please, Joan, in the immortal words of Tina, what's love got to do with it? I

love Greg.

I've always loved him, and I've tried my damnedest to make it work. You guys

know that.

But I've had to face some hard facts.

Greg and I cannot live on passion alone.

I mean, that was fine in college, but that was dorm food.

Clay is offering me dinner in Paris.

Is that it?

Is that the whole reason that you're marrying Clay?

You're still just an insecure...

little country girl from Fresno impressed by a Beverly Hills doctor,

Well, at least I'm getting married.

Look, I know what I'm doing.

I love Clay. I'm going to marry Clay, Joan.

And that's all you need to know.

Fine. I won't say another word.

Well, congratulations, Tony.

I mean, ultimately, you're going to hell.

In the meantime, you're getting what you've always wanted.

I'll just take that as best wishes.

Tony, I know you.

I thought you weren't saying another word. Yeah, and you know me.

Look, you can't just throw a guy away the way you do a pair of shoes.

Look, before you go and break Greg's heart, promise me you're going to look

your heart and make sure that this is what you really want to do.

I would rather look into my rock.

anything so fabulous.

Tony, if not for you, do it for Greg.

You owe him that much.

All right.

All right, I will look into my heart.

When I have time.

Ooh, gotta go, baby.

Don't go to work.

Call in sick.

Oh, William, now you know I don't call in sick. Unless it's contract time and I

got the blue flu.

It's midnight.

And these icy sheets need a bun warmer.

I did not take an oath to protect and serve only between the hours of nine and

five. The swift arm of the law never sleeps.

Well, I don't sleep anymore.

Unless that swift arm of yours is around me.

Oh, Willie.

You've gotten all attached to my warm body pressed against yours.

My hot breath on your back. My strong, perp -chasing legs intertwined in yours.

Now, Yvonne, don't get me all hot and run out the door now.

How about I call you from the cruiser?

Oh, all right.

But don't let your partner join in this time.

Hey, hey. Hey.

I'm sorry, Joan. It's not too late, is it? No, no.

It's not. Come in.

I needed someone to talk to. I'm kind of going crazy, and I can't talk to Tony.

Oh, I understand.

Please come in. Thanks.

I was at home trying to paint, and it all seemed so

pointless. And Tony was right about me, man. I'm a loser. I let her down.

No, you didn't do anything wrong, Greg. You are who you are.

And it's not good enough.

Look.

Tony is my best friend in the world. I love her.

But let's face it, her gold digger thing has reached critical mass. I mean, I

think she's blinded by the ring.

As a matter of fact, you know what? I think she is engaged to the ring and not

Clay. What are you talking about?

Do you mean to tell me that Tony didn't have the decency to tell you why she

broke up with you? Tony never broke up with me.

Of course she didn't.

Of course she didn't.

It's May, Joan. Yes, of course it is. I know that.

See, that's the point.

Huh? Nobody expects to be a fool in May.

Do you see how clever I am? Huh?

I got you. I got you good.

Do you want something to drink? Joan, tell me what the hell is going on. I

know.

Why did you have to come over here?

I came over here because I got rejected by another gallery and I needed your

advice on how to tell Tony.

My God, Greg.

She's engaged?

I'm so sorry. I'm really, really, really, really sorry.

Well, I'll give you this, Joan. You actually found a way to make me not give

damn about being rejected by another gallery.

William, it's simple.

Just write a short, curt letter on firm stationery warning them if they don't

cease and desist, then we'll...

What is the word when you go after someone in court?

Sue? Yes.

Thank you. Now pass me the thing with the papers in it. File.

William, tell me.

If you accidentally revealed something to someone that caused them great pain,

should you tell the person whom you accidentally revealed this something

that you revealed something accidentally?

Yes. Really?

No.

You don't have any idea what I just said to you, do you?

Maybe.

Shall I rephrase?

Absolutely not.

William, Yvonne's been shot.

Oh, my God. Is she dead? No, she's on line one.

I've been thinking.

You're real busy.

I'm real busy.

Why don't we take our tickets to Paris and get married there?

My mother won't fly.

Just an idea.

We can have a simple wedding on my yacht.

My father gets seasick.

Okay. Where would your family feel most comfortable?

Clay, you are so thoughtful and so wonderful, and you have everything I

ever wanted in a man.

But... You're not going to marry me, are you? You should be with someone who

loves you the way that you deserve to be loved.

So you don't love me?

I'm not sure.

But what I am sure of is that I'm still in love with Greg.

Why'd you say yes?

You can't go flashing something this big and throwing words like Paris around

and not expect a girl to be confused.

So everything we had was a lie.

No.

No, it was fun.

Clay, you're my fantasy come true.

But it was also me running away from my problems with Greg. And if I'm going to

make it work with him, I've got to stop running.

Get out.

Please understand that this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Good.

Now go and take him with you.

Tony?

Second hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Lynn, if you accidentally revealed something to someone that caused them

pain, did you tell the person whom you accidentally revealed something about

that you revealed something accidentally?

Joan, if you found my biological mother, just tell me. No, because I really

think that I'm at the point in my life where I can handle it, really. No, Lynn,

listen. It's Cher, isn't it?

I know it sounds really weird, but I've always had this deep connection to her,

and I don't know why.

I have no idea who your biological mother is. So could Sylvia Sher.

Do you get the door?

Yeah. Okay. I can get that door, baby.

Hey, Maya.

You on the lam from love? No, I'm here to kick your collective ass.

Well, I did what you said.

I slept with my husband.

Damn. You're both.

Okay, Maya, I'll bite. What happened?

I faked it.

And he knew, and you wounded his pride, and now he's drowning in sorrow, getting

a lap dance from some hoochie in the city of industry, right?

No, no, no, no. He doesn't even know it. He was just so happy to get some, he

probably doesn't even know I'm gone.

So what's the problem? Every woman faces it sometime.

Not me.

Never? Ever.

Teach me.

Maya, don't feel bad. You know, I mean, with the fragile male ego hanging in the

balance these days, faking it can be a humanitarian gesture.

Oh, hold up. You're the queen of sex. Don't tell me you faked it. Okay, once.

But I had to. I didn't want to run up Joan's phone bill.

Maya, did you try all the trick? Trick?

Wait, what tricks? We have trick?

Okay, don't say another word until I get a paper and pen.

Joan, I love you. You are always there for me.

You challenged me, you told me to look into my heart, and I did, and for the

first time in my life.

I really know what I want.

Well, as long as you're sure.

But when you let Greg down, just be short and sweet, and hey, no need to

the other guy.

All I need to tell Greg is I love him, and he's the one.

Greg? What happened to Clay?

There's no more clay, Joan. I gave back the flawless five -carat emerald -cut

diamond ring.

Do you realize what's happened?

I've gotten deep.

Wait a minute. Where are you? At 847, waiting for Greg.

Okay, wait. Before you talk to Greg, I need to talk to you. Well, you better

make it quick because he's here.

Well, um, okay.

What had happened was... Okay, well...

Um, have you ever accidentally revealed... Joan, Joan, get your

together and call me in the morning. Wait, Tony, don't... Hey, baby.

Sit down.

I'm a little nervous.

Look, I've been thinking, and I know things haven't been great between us.

Tony, I've been thinking, too.

It's over.

We don't work, and I'm tired of trying to make it work.

This is for food, gas, phone bills, and all the dinners you pay for. What are

you doing? I'm paying you back.

You've always cared more about the money than you do me.

But I don't need any of this.

I don't need you.

William, you cleaned your room for me?

Yeah, well, I figured you needed a salubrious environment in which to

recuperate.

Besides...

That bullet hole in your fanny, I couldn't very well ask you to vacuum the

place. Oh.

Look.

I even got you a donut.

Oh, don't mention a donut to a cop unless it's glazed.

I just want you to be comfortable.

Oh, honey, it's just a surface wound.

I've had bigger bandages on my butt from rug burns you've given me.

Yvonne, you don't have to be brave for me.

Oh, really?

Getting shot was one of the best things that could ever happen to me.

I get a citation, time off, Tickets to the Lion King.

Hey, there's even talk of naming the alley where it happened, Yvonne Way.

cute, huh?

There's nothing cute about it.

Oh, yeah?

Imagine parking your car and having your way with Yvonne on Yvonne Way.

I just had the biggest scare of my life.

Another 24 inches and that bullet could have pierced a vital organ.

Yvonne, I want you to quit the force.

What? Look.

You got lucky this time.

But I can't live with the possibility that next time it could be worse.

Hold up, William. You know this isn't just a job for me. This is a lifelong

dream. Well, we all have dreams.

I used to want to be a shortstop for the Kansas City Royals.

Well, when as bad as they are, you could be.

Look, honey, the point is, all I ever wanted to be was a cop.

I mean, while other little girls were playing fashion model with their

I was busting mine for street walking.

Maybe you can be one of those cops that go into the schools and talk to the kids

about drugs.

What do you think I was doing when I got shot?

Yvonne, I love you.

But I can't live knowing that you might not be coming home at the end of the

day. Hey, you're a lawyer. There are more folk gunning for you.

Well, I'm laying down the law. Well, I am the law. I practice the law. Oh, hey,

now, wait a minute. What is your point?

It's me or the force.

Somebody needs to give you the talk about drugs.

Because obviously you're on something.

Now, William, you got one day to come down off of your high.

Otherwise, I'm giving away your ticket to the Lion King.

Damn, Tony.

I don't understand why people have cell phones if they don't leave them on.

Joan, why are you so worried about her? That's your third time calling.

She's my friend, okay? And she's newly deep.

Yeah, you're right. She had enough trouble staying afloat in the shallow

I'm just worried. She's over there practically proposing to Greg. What if

turns her down?

Why would he? I mean, he loves her. He's broke.

She pays for everything.

What's not to love?

It's not like the poor chump knows anything about Clay.

What if he does know?

How would he know? I don't know.

Do you think he knows?

How would I know?

How are you doing?

Good?

Well, I feel miserable. I want to die.

Wait, Tony.

What happened?

Greg dumped me.

Oh, my God. What happened? Greg dumped her. Aren't you listening?

I am so sorry.

Sweetie, are you okay?

No. I just said I want to die. Weren't you listening?

Greg wouldn't listen. You wouldn't listen.

Doesn't anybody listen to anybody anymore?

Oh, my goodness. He found out about Clay, didn't he? Shut up.

And listen.

Just get it all out, okay?

All he said was we don't work, he's tired of trying to make it work, and I'm

about money.

Where did he get that from?

Oh, damn.

He definitely knows about Clay. Okay, let's not jump to any conclusions. I

if Greg knew, then surely he would have said something, and he didn't.

Did he?

No.

Why do you keep making me tell you what he said?

I'm telling you.

On some level, he knows that you screwed around.

See, that's the magic of true love, Tony.

Greg is your soulmate.

Like Darnell is mine.

Yeah, she's right.

That's how you could fool Clay.

But your soulmate knows when there's defeat in your heart.

Oh, my God.

I will tell Tony when the time is right.

Tony, I didn't tell you before because I was afraid you'd kill me, but now that

it's safe, I can.

I kind of told Greg about Clay.

I'm sorry.

Tony, I... Yes, Joan.

We're going to get through this, okay?

To Yvonne Blackwell, for bravery in the line of duty, the city of Los Angeles

thanks you.

Thank you.

Thank you, Chief Parks.

I am happy and proud.

Being a member of the Los Angeles Police Department is the culmination of a

little girl's dream.

Anybody want to buy tickets to the Lion King?

Artistry? Front row center.