All language subtitles for Girlfriends s01e17 The Declaration of Lynndependence

Maya, you want anything? I'm gonna go
down to 847 and pick up some lunch. Oh,

second thought, I just lost my appetite.
Why are you tweezing in front of God

and everyone?

It is his hormones, girl. I'm taking for
my fibroid. Now, you know, anything is

better than surgery, but still.

They're giving me all kinds of side
effects, like all this facial heft. It's

like, ooh!

Girl, there goes one right there.

Oh, you poor thing.

You poor...

Fuzzy thing.

No, why is it side effects always have
to be bad? You know, it's always

headaches or hot flashes or mood swings.

I mean, it's never a high IQ or walking
orgasms. You know what I mean?

I sympathize, Maya, but it's just so
unprofessional. I mean, can't you do

in the bathroom?

Girl, I did. These grew in on the way
back.

Look what I just found.

Lynn is applying for yet another
graduate program.

You're kidding.

She swore that was the very last one.

Well, it's not. There's nothing else he
could possibly get a degree in. Oh,

yeah, there's one left. It's called
anthro -psycho -never -get -an

-or -job -ology.

Joan, this has got to stop.

When I took her in, I thought it was
just until she completed this term.

Yeah, well, when I took her in, I
thought it was just until she completed

sophomore year.

So, you've had her eight years, I've had
her eight weeks. We've both done more

than our share.

And I have no privacy.

I've had to confine our lovemaking to
the bedroom. That's just not natural.

Oh, wow.

Tony, I am so sorry.

What are you going to do?

Oh, what I'm going to do is finish
packing her bags and point the cab in

direction. Uh, uh, uh, no.

I have finally got my house to myself
and my boyfriend and myself, and I like

it. No.

Well, if she's not living with you, then
she's out on the street.

Come on, Tony. I'm tired of taking Carol
in.

Can't you just keep her for a little bit
longer?

I've done my duty.

Duty? This is not the Peace Corps, Joan.

Although that girl is looking more and
more third world every day.

Come on, Tony. She's like family.

Oh, you forgot.

I kicked my mama out.

So tomorrow night you take me to the
movies. And no chick flick. I like

something with a high body count.

Saturday you promise to keep me company
on my stakeout.

Saturday, I was kind of hoping to get
together with the fellas and play some

ball. Oh, but that's out.

We can't play basketball when we're
doing surveillance on a crack house.

I don't want to do another stakeout with
you.

I don't want to go to the shooting
range, and I don't want to be guy number

in the lineup again.

Okay, don't get all pouty. If you want
to do something else, we'll do something

else. All that matters is that we spend
every moment together.

So you tell me what you want to do.

Be guy number four in the lineup.

but that's usually where we put the
guilt to it. But if you want to take

chance, fine with me.

Hey, guys. Hey. Sorry I'm late. I was at
my pre -doctoral orientation.

Yeah, that's why we asked you here,
Lynn. This is your intervention.

We think that you have an addiction
problem.

I told you, that was oregano.

Honey, we think you're addicted to
school.

Oh, right, Lynn the Junkie. I'm addicted
to the pursuit of knowledge.

I'm Jonathan Forrest, film and cum
laude.

Oh, rush me to rehab, quick.

Come on. We were happy to support you
emotionally, spiritually, and

these last few master's programs. But
this time, we are only going to do the

emotional and the spiritual part.

I don't get it. You gots to go.

That's funny.

Let's order. We're serious, Glenn. It's
time you get a job and a place to live.

What is a job, anyway?

I mean, slaving in a corporate sweatshop
for petty capitalist gain?

Oh, let's not forget the never -ending
pressure to be employee of the month.

thank you, America. I'm going for my
doctorate.

Lynn, adults get jobs. We all have jobs.
You need to get a job.

Okay, now, I am not a conformist. Okay,
so what about a part -time job?

I'm overqualified for part -time jobs.
So?

You can explain Hegel's dialectic to
your McDonald's colleagues while you

the grease in the fryer.

You know, you'll enlighten the world and
feed them.

Okay, I don't get it, you guys. I
thought we already went through this. I

thought moving in with Tony here was the
first step in me getting on my own

feet. But it's been eight weeks. It's
time for another step. Even the cripple

don't move that slow.

Sorry, I thought that you guys were my
friends.

And I thought you cared about me.

I'm just trying to finish my education,
and I thought you had my back.

We do have your back. I'm just tired of
looking at it lying on my sofa. Tony!

Okay, it's just that we see a pattern
here, Lynn, and we think that you're

school to avoid the real world.

Duh. You guys just figured that out
about me? Maybe you should go back to

school.

Okay, funny girl, laugh at this. You
have seven days to find a job.

I suggest you get out there and start
pounding that pavement now, or you're

going to find yourself sleeping on it.

Maya, does filing fit into your spa day?

You know, Jen, with all due respect, if
I weren't having hot flashes, I'd whip

your temperate ass.

Okay, I'm just going to chalk that up to
the hormones.

Okay, you know, whatever gets you
through the day.

Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.

Can I binge here for a second?

Yeah, go ahead.

That never gets old.

Sadly, yes, it does. No, but I really
need to talk to you about Yvonne.

She's a wonderful lady and everything,
but I feel like I'm hogging her.

You want her to see other men?

No, I want her to see other women.

Okay. I am going to tell you what I told
Lynn. No, no, I just want her to have

some women friends.

She has plans for us every night.

And I love her and all, but when's my
guy time?

Can't you ladies do something with her?
She's a lot of fun.

Hey,

you ever run the obstacle course at the
police academy?

Hey, William, William.

Before Yvonne, you complained about not
being able to find a good woman, and now

that you found one, you're trying to
pawn her off on us.

Was it wrong to be so complex?

Hey, everybody.

Joan, can I speak to you in private for
a minute?

Sure.

So, I'll drop Yvonne off at your house
later.

Let me know if I need to pack her lunch.

So, Lynn, how's the job hunt going?

Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to
talk to you about.

You know, Tony, she's really got a bug
up her butt about this one. That's

because your week is up tomorrow.

So I hope you got a job.

Well... You know, I've been talking to
some people. I got a few leads, some

irons in the fire.

I've been looking around. And, you know,
basically, I have nothing.

You know, Tony really meant it when she
said, you gots to go.

And that is why I came to you. Because,
see, you are the sanity amidst the

insanity. You are the pillar in the
house of our friendship.

I just need a little more time.

I think I found a lead on a job.

You have 24 hours to get a job.

24, okay?

And you might not want to waste any more
time.

Come on, Joan.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
tick, tick.

Fine, fine.

But let me find my body washed up in the
L .A. River Basin. Just remember, I

have a tattoo right here.

Got it.

Lynn got a job. Look, she gave me the
money this morning.

$300. Girl, the Lynn gravy train is
coming to a complete and final stop. I

I know. It's great.

And she'll finally move out of your
house.

See, Joan, I knew if we stood firm and
we presented a united front, she'd pull

herself up by her bra straps if she wore
a bra.

Hey, Joan, I'm going to get to cleaning
your gutters as soon as I get done

trimming all these trees.

Well, you should have seen her.

You know, you take this money because
she's moving back in with you. No.

Hey.

What's this, a party at my house and I
wasn't even invited?

Well, actually, you're the guest,
Devonna.

This is your intervention.

Intervention? I hope this intervention
includes lunch.

Joan, you're an enabler. I'm a what? You
enable the dysfunctional behavior of

your friends by protecting them from the
consequences of their actions.

Tony, is that written on your hand?

That doesn't make it any less true.

I am not an enabler. Yes, you are.

You know Lynn is never going to grow up
as long as you keep taking care of her.

Yeah, I mean, I may be a leech, but
you're the one who enables me to be that

way. And that's worse.

Joan.

Lynn would be a stronger person if you
weren't always there for her.

You're the root of the problem.

We fix you, we fix her.

Yeah, well, if I'm an enabler, then you
are, too, because you let her stay at

your house for eight weeks.

You had her for eight years.

Friend.

Enabler.

Okay, we aren't getting anywhere with
this intervention stuff.

Now, what we need is an interrogation.

I'll play the good cop, and, Tony, you
just be yourself.

Well, Joan, if you're not an enabler,
then why do you let your friendship with

Maya interfere with your role as her
boss?

Wait a minute.

Do you work with her?

I don't think so. So you don't know. I
know you let her come in late and take

all these extra days.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Start that
up.

Okay.

That land example was strong enough.
There is no need to be going off on

cockamamie tangents.

Joan, I suggest you cop to this, because
I don't know how much longer the

situation can be contained.

No, no.

There is no situation.

This is ridiculous.

And with all due respect, Yvonne, this
is none of your business.

I'm on your side and this is none of my
business?

Oh, okay, to hell with the good cops.
Somebody give me a baseball bat and a

pound of roast beef.

What? I can't give a beat down on a
empty stomach. Okay, I am not an

okay? I am a caring person. I help my
friends. Isn't that what friends are

supposed to do? Yes, yes, yes.

Sweetie, but you're so busy helping your
friends, they can't learn to solve

their own problems like this whole
William and Yvonne thing.

What William and Yvonne thing?

I'm sorry.

Look at me. I'm just going off on my own
little tangent. Look at the time. When

is lunch?

Okay, somebody better back up and make a
plan.

Yvonne, it is not that big of a deal.

William just asked us to include you in
the fun thing that we do.

So that's why you invited me? As a favor
to William?

You can't listen.

No, no, no, no, no.

I get it.

So, my boyfriend had to beg you to spend
time with a loudmouthed rogue cop that

has a tendency to go off.

You know, it's too bad they don't make
careful off for the heart.

Because I thought I finally had some
real girlfriends.

Hear that, Joe?

This is what the enabling does. It hurts
innocent people.

You want me to make you a roast beef
sandwich, girl?

Okay, wait.

Stop picking on Joan.

She's not the problem here. I am. Shut
up, Lynn. We had your intervention. This

is Joan.

No. By letting her take care of me all
these years, I turned her into this

enabler. I enabled her to become an
enabler.

I'm the mother of all enablers. So maybe
if I just take myself out of the

equation, all this enabling will end.
No, wait. Lynn, don't. Oh, for God's

Enable her to leave.

Exaggerate like you never wanted to kill
anybody over a glass of water.

Yvonne, hey, over here.

Oh, you're not doing this just because
of William, are you? Of course not.

Oh, my God. This is my intervention,
isn't it? No, no, no, no, no.

This is just a friendly lunch to make up
for the other day.

And if during the course of lunch
somebody just happens to fix the parking

ticket for somebody else, that's just
all a part of hanging out.

leech girl i don't know we haven't heard
from her in three days i told you she

left a message saying she was still
alive well alive isn't enough tony she

be cold and and hungry and alone that
girl's got some street smarts she'll be

fine besides most runaways hook up with
someone who will look after their needs

in exchange for a cut of the action well
at least she'd have a job how can you

say that she's our friend well if you
know our friend And you know she can

care of herself.

Joan, she's fine.

I tell you what.

Since we're all girlfriends now, I'll do
you a solid and put out an APB.

Sweetie, stay calm. Stay calm.

You know, I promise we're going to find
Lynn. No, it's not.

They were turning my calls.

I've missed you.

Why haven't you wanted to see me in the
past three days?

I didn't want to cut into your guy time.

All right, Joan's a dead woman. How much
did she tell you?

All of it.

Including the woman on the side.

There's no woman on the side. Just
checking. You'd be surprised how many

trip up with that one.

Yvonne, I'm not a perp. I'm your
boyfriend.

Maybe you are, maybe you aren't.

Yvonne, it's not that I didn't want to
spend time with you.

I did this for us, for the health of our
relationship.

I thought we would smother each other if
we didn't have other outlets.

Then why didn't you just tell me that?

You know, it was pretty embarrassing for
me when I found out you had forced me

on your friend.

I'm sorry, baby. I really didn't mean it
that way.

Yeah, yeah. Talk is cheap.

What you gonna do to make it up to me?

I'll add some flowers.

Too done.

A massage?

Oh, I get that anyway. My partner has
hands like an old German woman.

Gift? My love ain't for sale.

Okay, Von.

What do you want?

A key to the condo in a drawer?

How about a key to the building in a
cardboard box?

Not so tough.

You want to have a stare down? We can
have a stare down.

I should be home at 8 o 'clock.

It would be so kind to be there to let
me in.

Lynn!

Hey. Oh, sorry.

Grandma? Yeah, I can't tie up the line.
Okay. Yeah, bye. Okay.

You know, you guys, I think I finally
adjusted to the hormones.

I'm getting this fibroid cut out.

Does anybody know what frostbite looks
like?

Yeah, your extremities turn black.

Oh, hell no.

I got you, girl.

Oh, thank God.

I was worried sick about you.

Why? I can take care of myself.

I picked you up trespassing in Bel Air.
I wasn't trespassing. I was house

-sitting.

appreciate you bringing her back, but
were the handcuffs really necessary?

No, that was my idea. I mean, I just
wanted to see what they felt like in a

-sexual context.

Not as much fun, is it?

Oh, well, if you ladies will excuse me,
I have a 6 .45 on Larchmont.

What's a 6 .45?

That's my pedicure time.

Check y 'all later.

Look, Lynn, you can't just...

here without leaving a number or
anything i left a message yeah and all

was that you were alive i was worried
sick good tony were you scared too

nope damn come on lynn you were
punishing us and that is not fair

well i was hurt and that's what hurt
people do now if we could only get you

understand what working people do okay
okay i got that covered while i was

in a jacuzzi, sipping on a Mai Tai, I
realized something.

You guys are right.

I need to stop being a leech and get a
regular gig.

Woo! Hallelujah!

Lynn, I'm so proud of you.

I'm going to be a professional house
sitter.

Oh, damn.

Okay, Lynn, that's not a real job.

Well, at least it's something I can do
until I figure out what I really want to

do. Well, what are you going to do when
you're between houses?

I don't know.

I'll figure that out when the time
comes.

Yeah, yeah, you better do that. Uh -huh.

Because you can't come back here.

No.

No, no matter what.

Yeah, earthquake, tsunami, plague of
locusts. You hear me, Lynn?

Yeah.

I saw that.

Okay, you know what, Tony?

I can't be you. I'm not you.

It's going to take a long time before
I'm a full -fledged hard -ass.

Well, here's your first lesson. What?

Give her a condition.

Okay.

Okay. Lynn, you can stay, but only for
three, two, one

month and a half. And stop looking at
me.

Okay, okay.

You know, when the time comes, I'll stay
with you, but only to help you with

your little problem. Okay.

Oh, but right now, can I borrow your
car? I need to get back over there. I'd

love to play in the oven.

All this time you could cook?

Give me your purse, you skanky bitch, or
I'll cut you.