Original subtitles

Oh, I'll call you later, okay?

I can't get a goodbye kiss?

Libby, I'm at work.

Oh, talk about a double standard. We can do it in the front seat of my squad

car, but in your office, nothing.

That ought to hold you.

In the front seat of the squad car, Yvonne. Oh, we couldn't do it in the

seat. I had a perp back there.

Look, you have any Advil?

You got a headache?

Girl, I... All I'm going to say is be careful what you play for because the

will give it to you. Oh, yes, he will.

But then again, he also said he wouldn't give you more than you can handle.

No, no, he won't. Yeah, well, apparently he wasn't thinking that when he created

William.

William!

Girl! William!

Whatever you're thinking, add to it.

Hey, Vaughn. Oh, hey, girl. Oh, just fight and cry? Just fight and cry.

So happy that William and Yvonne are working out.

Uh -huh. Well, I don't. It's more like he's working her out.

William? Apparently, the man can run a three -legged race by himself. No.

Girl!

All right, I'll tell you what. I got one. How about favorite movie you're

embarrassed to admit you like?

Okay. Okay.

Go.

Okay.

Wow. I won't say anything if you don't. We'll just pretend it never happened.

Never happened.

You like booty calls? Okay, shut up!

Best little whorehouse in Texas?

Okay,

let's try this again.

A little lower.

Look, um, I gotta go. I got an early morning meeting, okay?

Okay. Are we still on for tomorrow?

Yeah.

Hey, Sean.

What? Um... Good night.

Good night.

Hey, Maya, you ready to go to lunch? Oh, yeah, I'm so hungry I could eat a

whore. Hey!

Speaking of which... Hey, William.

Hey. Are you guys going out to lunch? Yeah, you want to come?

But could you pick me up something? I got to stay in and work.

You know, I got that big Johnson case.

Yeah, we heard.

I don't think I'll ever see the light of day again. The briefs are huge.

What's that all about?

Maybe it has something to do with your lengthy dictation.

But how did you all know I had a lot of dictation?

What did Yvonne say to you?

Nothing.

Big Willie.

that catered an opening at Bacara Gallery about three weeks ago.

Well, Todd, can you find out?

Is she still trying to attract on that broke bartender?

Maya, Greg is a broke artist.

Artist. Bartender. Either way, Joan, you too broke for her?

Too broke to wed, but not too broke to bed.

Too broke to stay with, but not too broke to play with.

Too broke to get stuff with, but not too broke to... Enough, enough, enough.

It is? Oh, oh, great.

Then I'd like to hire Greg Sparks to bartend this Friday.

No, no, no, no. No need for food. There will be plenty to eat.

Okay, she is so nasty.

Uh -huh, uh -huh.

Greg's all set.

Hey, you know what? It is Black History Month. You'd think Davis would be giving

the black folks half off.

I don't think the white customers would be too happy about that.

White people do have their month.

January white sale.

I almost forgot, Joan. I'll pick these up for you.

Victoria's Secret had a sale.

Puppies are cute.

Songs are sexy. Sean's gonna love them. Eh, well, Sean is not gonna get a peek

at them. Ugh, I know, I know your three -month rule.

So you won't let him get to home plate.

He'll still see him when he slides into circuit.

Guys, the brother hasn't even stepped up to the plate. I don't think he likes me

like that. He doesn't even touch me. Oh, no, wait.

He's held my hand like twice. Ooh.

He's gay.

No.

I took him by gay marks, and he said Sean is hopelessly straight and highly

unlikely to even turn opportunistically gay. Do you think he's seen another

woman? I don't know. You know what? I almost wish he was, so I wouldn't feel

like such a freaking reject. I don't get it.

We have spent every day together, and we have great talks, sometimes into the

wee hours of the morning, and we're even eating off of each other's plate.

It's just that no kissy face.

Is it still kissy face if he does it on the forehead? Okay, chill, chill, chill.

When he hugs you, girl, is it a pat on the back? Or is it a real strong hug?

What hug?

Okay, girl, I'll go back to my first favorite. Get!

Guys, maybe he's a Jehovah's Witness. No golf on Saturdays.

Maybe this is just his way of respecting a three -month rule.

Granted, my three -month rule applies to sexual intercourse, but can't a sister

get a couple close calls just to get her through the three months? Oh, he's so

gay. Joan, asking us is not going to get you the answers. You need to ask him.

And when you do so, we're the lingerie.

Girls, you can feel desirable. Never let a man take that away from you just

because he's... Gay.

Gay, girl.

your wine myth thank you now sit down i'm making a

policy not to work my bartenders too hard oh well hard is how i work t -bone

why do you think i tracked you down okay i don't think we need the wine

i'm sorry my phone got disconnected and you had to go through the catering

service to find me but i'm glad you did

I am like the Canadian Mounties. I always get my man.

Now mount me.

Baby, I'm so glad we're back together.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on.

Nobody said anything about us getting back together.

We're just having fun. Nothing too heavy, right?

Just about the sex?

We can have dinner after.

Tony when I asked you to call me I didn't think it was for some demeaning

like this But I went to all of this trouble for you. You didn't do this for

You did this for you Get out fine

Greg come back here

Tony I am NOT a pair of shoes you can pull out of your closet when you think

in fashion I am NOT gonna play that bump into each other, reminisce about the

past, make love for a month, and you walk out on me, B, at this time.

This comes with this.

Does your ass come with it, too?

Lighten up, baby. I'm just joking.

Well, I'm not.

Are you gay?

Where'd that come from? Nowhere. I was just making conversations. So are you?

No. Are you a Jehovah's Witness?

Are you on crack?

I'm serious.

I'm serious.

Well, have you been seeing another woman?

Why don't you just ask me what you really want to know?

Why haven't you tried to kiss me or touch me or anything me?

I mean, you think a nice rack of lamb deserves a little groping, don't you

think?

I'm just respecting your three -month rule.

Let's be clear. My three -month rule applies to sex. There is a lot between

nothing and sex.

Like a little cuddling, affection, first, second, third base.

If the question is, do I think you're beautiful and do I desire you, the

is yes.

Well, then say all that in a kiss.

I can't.

Matter of fact, I gotta go. What is so bad that you can't kiss me? Do you have

herpes? Lockjaw?

Halitosis?

Do you not find me attractive?

If that's it, I can deal with it. I mean, we can be friends in a year or

I'm a sex addict.

You're a sex addict?

Okay.

Come on.

What man isn't?

Joan, I am.

If you're really a sex addict, you would have jumped my bones by now, and you

haven't. So come up with something better.

You women hear what you want to hear and don't accept what's being said to you.

I'm a recovering sex addict.

And for me, there isn't a lot between nothing and sex. Once I get turned on,

there's no turning off. So if it's not going to be you because of your rule,

it's going to be somebody.

So I'd rather not turn it on at all.

Good night.

If he'd just come out of the closet, it would have been easier.

he says he won't touch me because he's a sex addict.

Joan, do not take that lightly, okay? Michael Douglas is a sex addict.

Catherine Zeta had to work that issue on her prenup.

So it's real.

I know it's real. Look, they have like 50 ,000 websites about it. You know,

won't touch me either. Maybe he's a sex addict.

You know what? I knew she was going to work Greg's ass back into this

conversation somehow.

We are done talking about Greg, Tony.

Look, guys, I want him.

Why do you want a man you know you're not going to keep? He's not rich enough

for you.

Maya, he's my Darnell.

Minus the baggage handling.

My baggage handling makes money on paint mix and drink mix.

Okay, look.

This just doesn't sound like the Sean I know. Listen.

Having multiple sexual partners or extramarital affairs.

Oh, please, who hasn't?

Having sex with a succession of anonymous partners, including

Variety, spice of life.

Masturbating excessively.

Joan, I'm not alone, am I?

Using sexually explicit phone lines.

Hey, I paid you back.

Tony, I owe you $255.

And engaging in masochistic or sadistic sex, such as experiencing sexual

excitement by inflicting pain on others.

Okay, sounds bad when you say it like that.

You guys, I screwed up.

Sean opened up to me about his problem, and I just dismissed it. You should

dismiss him. Let him run his freak flag up somebody else's pole.

But if this is the only thing wrong with him, then I can deal with it.

Joan, I think you should go with him to his next meeting. Oh, I should support

him, huh? Yeah, and I need a ride.

Why do you keep hiring me?

I'm thirsty.

This is my job, Tony.

Not something to play with.

You don't want to play, but you keep coming back.

You could have turned the job down.

Yeah, I could have.

But the pain you inflict on me helps me with my artwork.

You see, that's your problem.

People don't want to buy pain. They want happy paintings.

Children, flowers, clowns.

Tony, I figured you'd call me back because you had something new to say to

So what do you want?

I want you.

But you want me rich.

I think we're having a breakthrough.

That's not what I'm about, T.

If it happens, fine.

But making money is not my goal. Making art is.

Expressing myself.

What is it that you want to say?

I love you.

You still love me?

I never stopped.

Well, you should have.

Because I'm such a horrible person.

Yeah, you are.

But have you seen yourself naked?

Greg?

I'm kidding.

What? You don't think I'm cute?

No, you're cute.

You're sexy.

You're funny. You're ambitious. You're determined.

And I'm hoping a really good tipper.

Because you know who you are.

And you stay true to yourself no matter how many times I try to change you.

And have you seen yourself naked?

Are you going to commit to us, T -Bone?

Come here.

I'm sorry, ma 'am.

But I'm paid to serve the client, not service the client.

Well, then you're fired.

Too late.

I quit five minutes ago.

Lynn, would you take those off? You look stupid.

What? It's called Sex Addicts Anonymous, and I want it to stay that way, okay?

Hey, John.

Lynn? Damn!

First time?

Baby steps.

So, um, you here for her or for me?

Both. With an emphasis on you.

I'm sorry. I was so insensitive.

Hey, the fact that she came is enough.

Wait a minute.

Um, everybody, if you don't mind, I'd like to start us off tonight.

Welcome. Give yourselves a hand for making it here tonight.

Hi, my name is Sean. Hi, Sean.

And I'm a sex addict.

I've been abstinent for one year and eight months.

The reason I wanted to share tonight is because the last few weeks have been

great.

You're a really wonderful woman.

And I also had a breakthrough.

For the first time in, hell, I think for the first time ever, I had a sexual

feeling tied to an emotion.

And I feel good.

And not just in one spot.

I've been praying for this step in my recovery for a long time.

And right now this moment is making all the stuff that I've lost a little bit

smaller.

Because of my addiction, let's see, I've lost...

Three jobs, a wife, my dog, my house, my bin.

Actually, all that went with the wife.

And time.

Time that I lost sleeping with almost 300 women I didn't know.

And I've lost friends.

Friends that don't understand what a struggle every day is.

What this moment and this victory means to me.

How about you like strawberry shortcake?

You ate all the strawberries and the cake.

Well, you have to be quick.

Yvonne, I'm mad at you.

Oh, hell, we can order another strawberry shortcake. No, no, no.

Look, I'm mad because you're going around.

Telling people about her sex life. I just told my, uh... Who told Joan?

Now they're both laughing at me and calling me Big Willie.

That's because you're big, Willie.

I can't even get them to look me in the eye.

Oh, are they violating you? Because I'm clear that up right now. No, you're not.

You're not.

I don't need you to get violent.

But what happens between us should stay between us.

And if you keep telling people about it, I'm going to stop having sex with you.

In fact...

Maybe you need to learn a little lesson.

I'm cutting you off.

All right, William, if that's what you want.

Have you learned your lesson?

Yes. Good. That just about killed me.

So, what happened?

It was just too much.

I tried.

What exactly did you try to do?

Three hundred women.

Almost.

Come on, everyone has skeletons in their closet.

Yeah, like two or three.

You've got a whole graveyard.

How did you expect me to deal with all that?

Well, kind of the same way you expect me to deal with your baggage.

What baggage?

Okay, why don't we start with your three -month rule, which is really just

another way for you to control everything.

And how about the fact that you base your self -esteem on how quickly I try

get you into bed, rather than the time that I spend listening to you, having

meaningful conversations, getting to know you.

Okay, those two things can fit into a tote bag, but your issues need a steamer

trunk.

It's funny to me how women always expect men to accept their issues, help them

get through them and understand them. But as soon as we have a problem,

no understanding or helping us through it. We're just supposed to change.

The sadder part is, you don't even see a brother trying.

Hi.

My name is Joan.

And I'm the girlfriend of a recovering sex addict.

I'd like to share something.

I wish my boyfriend would kiss me.

Do you mind eating an onion first?

It's a part of my aversion therapy.

Maybe what you need is some Joan therapy.

I'll try anything to get cured.

Doctor's sitting there at that meeting for like two hours. I realized

I am not a sex addict.

Okay? For those people, sex controls their lives.

They're willing to sacrifice everything just to fulfill their desires. Now,

maybe I'm a hedonist or a connoisseur or an aficionado, possibly a fetishist,

but I am definitely not a sex addict. I'm just a person who likes to have lots

and lots of sex.

Lynn, Lynn, honey, I'm glad that you could work all that out, but good night.

Okay, bye.

Are you sure I can't watch?

Get out.

You won't even know I'm here.

Well, I mean... Out!

What?

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