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Oh, Darnell, and I really appreciate you
letting us renew our vows here.
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Okay, you're going to love this, right?
Okay. You're going to walk down the
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aisle, and everyone's going to say,
pretty, pretty, pretty, and then you
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00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:17,310
exchange vows.
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Together, forever, love you, love you,
kiss, kiss.
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So you're going to mingle, mingle, hors
d 'oeuvres, hors d 'oeuvres. Oh, shoot.
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I forgot the introduction. Okay, so I'll
announce you, and then it's on to the
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toast. Come here.
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Okay, now, if you need a toast, I've got
two or three written out. Okay, and
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00:00:37,310 --> 00:00:40,370
then you throw them to me. Of course.
Okay,
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00:00:40,371 --> 00:00:44,949
now, forget that whole guarded thing,
because you don't want other men you
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know looking up your dress, right?
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Okay, so then you exit at a rearranged
departure time, because it's really sad
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for the bride and groom to close out
their own party. And then we cheer you
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Happy, happy. No rights.
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00:00:58,310 --> 00:00:59,830
Kills the birds. That's it. Okay.
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00:01:04,019 --> 00:01:07,449
Girl, you done given this just a little
bit of thought, haven't you?
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Hey, you got off lucky. When she makes
me do it, I have to dress like the
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because you're about to bust.
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Can you blame me? I am two years past my
target date, which is really four years
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past because with all the courtship and
engagement crap, it's going to cost me
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another two years.
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If you had any trouble following that, a
timeline's posted in the laundry room.
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Okay, so what do you want to do? Plan A
or Plan B? Whichever one costs $600
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00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:05,250
because you know that's all I got.
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You know, you could always sell your
blood.
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Which reminds me, if I'm going to get
you a gift, I better get down to the
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bank.
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Oh, damn.
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It's after four. All the good cookies
are gone.
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She is crazy.
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Okay, Maya, don't worry about the money.
Because with a little creativity and a
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couple hundred extra from me, I'm going
to make this into something really
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wonderful.
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It'll be my wedding gift.
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Oh, thank you.
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You're so good to me.
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Thank you.
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00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:42,229
Okay, now, I got some ideas, too. Okay,
that's great. Now, I was picturing
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everyone surrounding us in a circle of
love.
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Won't that be beautiful?
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Well, that's another way to go.
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But let's talk about the cake. Okay,
cake, cake, cake. Okay, I was thinking
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white chocolate, raspberry ganache.
Okay,
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girl, but everyone in my family loves
my...
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Everybody standing in a circle eating
pound cake.
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It's a wedding.
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Not some hands across America bake sale.
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Oh, you don't want Aunt Sissy to go
through all that trouble. Girl, how come
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seems like you're shooting down every
idea I have for my wedding?
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Maya, sweetie, you're the bride.
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So you're a little sensitive right now.
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But no one... is dismissing your ideas.
We are collaborating here.
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You have ideas, I have ideas, and
together we're coming up with the best
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Mm -hmm, whatever.
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00:03:43,731 --> 00:03:46,979
Just as long as the ideas involve my
family, because you know they weren't
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the first time Darnell and I got married
down at City Hall.
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Don't worry about it, okay? It's going
to be the perfect wedding. I hope so.
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Girl, you know Darnell and I have been
through so much recently, and I just
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this renewal to be a fresh start for us.
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Mm -hmm.
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You know there's... One more thing that
would make it absolutely perfect.
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I was going to ask you to be one of my
bridesmaids.
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That is so sweet.
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Wow!
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My 14th dint as a bridesmaid.
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I'd love to. Great. Now come over
tonight because my mama is making the
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gonna need you for a fitting okay anyway
let me give you the directions to my
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00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:41,159
place here all right girl now if you
pass comms and high you have gone too
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00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:48,059
so maya are there um any colors i should
worry about wearing um
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yeah white after labor day
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the brothers, huh?
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Why would they want to pass up all of
this for that?
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00:05:12,030 --> 00:05:14,020
I don't know, Tony. They could be in
love.
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She's fat.
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00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,570
Tony, I think she's pregnant.
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You think?
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Brothers are so desperate for white
women they don't even care that she's
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knocked up.
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00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:28,609
Do not even sit there and try and act
like you have not dated a white man. I
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today outside my race. That heifer took
my man.
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00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:37,489
Okay. But you see, this phenomenon is
not exactly a bad thing because if black
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men weren't attracted to white women, I
wouldn't even be here.
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Hey, ladies. Hey, William. Hey, Willie.
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So you meeting someone here?
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No.
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00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,650
You're eating alone?
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Yeah. Oh, honey, get some takeout. Have
some fries.
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You're right. Make some room.
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00:05:59,570 --> 00:06:01,910
So, what are you guys talking about?
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00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:03,660
That.
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Every time a brother gets a little
success, he goes looking for his little
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00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:08,830
trophy wife.
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00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:11,040
Well, that's an unfair generalization.
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00:06:11,860 --> 00:06:15,419
A lot of times black men go out with
white women because they live in the
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condo community, or they happen to meet
in the laundry room.
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William, not you too. It's not serious.
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It's just dinner or a movie. A little
clap and tickle.
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Well, what do you want me to do? I mean,
it's not like black women are checking
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for mate.
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00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:37,040
I'm so over brothers blaming it on the
sisters. Yeah, well, who should I blame?
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I'm an eligible black man.
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I've got formidable assets and a clean
blood panel. And yet black women aren't
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00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:44,890
into me because I'm not dangerous.
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00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:48,770
I'm not a baller or a shot caller.
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00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:56,149
Well, that's true, William. Not exactly
what I'd call cool, but I'll give you
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points for the slang.
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00:06:58,390 --> 00:07:01,820
With white women, the mere fact that I'm
black makes me a little edgy.
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00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:05,300
But since you're enjoying the playing,
it gives me flavor.
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I got you.
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00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:16,450
Hey, hey, hey. Donna, I told you not to
play with that in this house.
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Stop fussing and let him play. And be
glad your husband's at home.
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You want me out of your hell.
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00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,470
Stop it. Stop it, baby.
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Quit playing. Donna, stop it. Everything
is going to be beautiful.
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Thank you, baby.
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Ew, you're nasty.
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Hi, guys.
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How are you? Hi.
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Oh, my God, you have such a great place.
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Thank you. Joan, this is my mother,
Jeanette. Jeanette, this is Joan.
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Oh, my God, you are not. You look like
her sister.
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Okay, I like her.
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00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:06,829
You know, I had her when I was two, and
it was all... the paper i've heard so
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00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:10,709
much about you i have heard so much
about you she talks about you all the
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00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:16,829
oh and this is my cousin juanita hi i'm
cousin nico hi we're not blood i'm a
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00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:22,870
play cousin nice to meet all of you you
got a little junk in your trunk
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00:08:32,299 --> 00:08:38,119
we are okay um okay so
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00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:44,919
let's see the flowers have been ordered
um the menu is all set and
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00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:51,419
i managed to get the champagne at cost
girl you are going crazy
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i guess it's nice to have rich friends
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to this dress, girl. It is so hot.
Mommy, mommy, get the dress. I don't
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she can see it.
134
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,030
Does it look anything like Juanita?
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00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:07,070
Oh, no.
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I specifically designed each dress to
fit the personality of my bridesmaid.
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00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:13,529
Okay. Now, Juanita, come here, boo.
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00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:17,590
Now, see, since Juanita is the maid of
honor, hers is a little special. Okay,
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00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,389
turn around.
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00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:23,629
But see, as you can see, the organza, it
just ties it all in together. Thank
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00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,430
you, thank you. Mama, mama, come here.
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00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:34,660
This is your dress. Girl, look at the
detail. It is so hot, okay?
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Now, this dress might get you a husband.
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00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,160
Well, the craftsmanship is excellent.
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Kudos, Jeanette. Well,
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girl, what's your feeling now?
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00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:49,459
No, no, no, no, no, no. I just, you
know, I mean, with the wedding motif
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we'd agreed upon, I was expecting
something a little more classic. What?
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dance is classy.
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00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,280
True, true, when used as an accent.
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00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,499
Well, Joan, if you have some ideas, just
tell me. I can make changes. Well, I
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00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:06,579
don't know. I mean... Okay, well, like,
maybe if the organza was just on the
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00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:13,099
sleeves and the waist and if the skirt
was in satin instead of that really nice
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00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,440
fabric that you made that out of.
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00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,920
And then the organza, we could just tie
it around the flower.
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00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,319
You know?
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00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,370
Yeah.
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00:10:23,371 --> 00:10:27,299
Why don't you just, like, design, like,
a whole new dress while you at it? Look,
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00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,760
I can't afford another $50 dress.
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00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,380
I can pay for it. I can pay for
everybody.
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00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,400
And, you know, wait, I pulled these
pictures out of a magazine.
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00:10:37,401 --> 00:10:41,179
And, Jeanette, you are such an amazing
seamstress. I am sure that you could
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knock off this Vera Wang easily.
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00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:46,390
Vera Wang is the premier wedding
designer.
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00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:52,349
Yeah, we know who Vera Wang is. Yeah, we
know. We don't only know FUBU. No, I
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00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:54,190
wasn't saying that you didn't know.
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00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:56,530
Then what, Jo? What you saying, girl?
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00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:58,360
Come here.
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00:10:58,630 --> 00:10:59,680
Come here.
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00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,690
I'm saying that I care about you.
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00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:07,190
And I want you to have the most
beautiful wedding.
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00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:08,870
The best wedding.
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00:11:08,871 --> 00:11:11,349
So you're saying what Maya wants isn't
the best?
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00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:12,670
No, I'm just...
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00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:15,509
Trying to help make the wedding more
tasteful.
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Fine, Joan.
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00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:19,330
You want my wedding to be more tasteful?
Then don't come.
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00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:21,260
Okay, wait.
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00:11:21,590 --> 00:11:24,270
That is not, that is not what I meant.
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00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:28,070
You are blowing this way out of
proportion, okay?
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00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:32,949
And you can't uninvite me anyway. The
wedding isn't my house. It was. It's
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house.
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00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:46,020
My baby was too tasteful to say this,
but I'm not.
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00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:47,430
Get out.
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00:11:52,940 --> 00:11:58,040
Thank you.
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00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,700
Oh, look at this.
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00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:09,529
Cuba Gooding Jr.
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00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:10,670
and his white wife.
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00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,140
Wesley Snipes and his Asian woman.
190
00:12:14,740 --> 00:12:18,500
And Kobe Bryant with his... Whatever she
is, she's not black.
191
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,550
What you reading, mixed marriage
magazine?
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00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,900
We've got to do our part to keep the
brothers in the fold.
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00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,980
Starting with William.
194
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:31,839
Okay, but you marry him because I'm too
tapped out for a blood test.
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00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:32,890
No.
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00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:36,840
Uh -uh. But what if we were both his
dates to Maya's wedding?
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00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,219
It's brilliant.
198
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:43,139
See, if he shows up with a stunning
black woman on each arm, the other
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00:12:43,140 --> 00:12:44,760
will think he's about something.
200
00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:50,150
We would have done a good deed, and Lord
knows I need that in my portfolio.
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00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:51,670
That's true. Okay.
202
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:55,950
Hey, Joe.
203
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,300
You won't believe what Maya just pulled.
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00:12:58,301 --> 00:13:01,199
She's not having the wedding here
anymore.
205
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,199
What happened?
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00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,729
I don't know. She went nuts on me. I
simply... suggested that we change the
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00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:07,780
bridesmaid dresses.
208
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:10,380
Why would you do that? Because they were
ugly.
209
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:17,209
Look, don't get me wrong. I love Maya,
but sometimes her taste is an issue. For
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00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:18,260
who? Well, me.
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00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:22,020
It's always been an issue for me, and
I've made no bones about that.
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00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,130
So you understand what I'm working with.
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00:13:26,090 --> 00:13:28,850
Joan, whose wedding is this? It's
Maya's.
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00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:33,050
It's Maya's wedding.
215
00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:37,389
But you would think with all of the
time, money, and effort that I have put
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00:13:37,390 --> 00:13:39,709
this that she would be a little more
appreciative.
217
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,480
I mean, I am giving this woman the
wedding of her dreams.
218
00:13:42,481 --> 00:13:45,109
No, you're giving her the wedding of
your dreams.
219
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:49,010
My dream, her dream, it is still a dream
wedding.
220
00:13:50,710 --> 00:13:55,890
Okay, Joan, if Maya wants to have a
ghetto fabulous wedding, let her have
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00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:02,669
Oh, Johnny, you know what? I promise,
someday your prince will come. Yeah,
222
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:06,530
well... You better get here by Saturday.
223
00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:12,929
Because I put a non -refundable deposit
on the white chocolate raspberry
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00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:13,980
ganache.
225
00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:17,790
Honey, that Saturday's a long ways away.
226
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:21,230
But right now, you need to back away
from Maya's wedding.
227
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:22,560
All right.
228
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,740
All right.
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00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:24,940
Fine.
230
00:14:26,170 --> 00:14:27,220
I'll apologize.
231
00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:30,870
But I am not serving mimosas made with
Sunny D.
232
00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:36,570
Maya, can I see you for a second?
233
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:39,290
Maya, I'm sorry.
234
00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:43,950
I imposed my wedding vision on you, and
that was completely unfair.
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So if you want to have the pound cake,
the circle of friends, the dresses,
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whatever, I'm okay with it.
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Okay? I mean, let's just do this and
make the best of this wedding. The best?
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this wedding?
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Do you hear yourself?
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00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:03,610
Yeah. Do you hear me? I'm apologizing.
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00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:05,910
Joan, it's not just about the wedding.
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00:15:05,911 --> 00:15:09,289
You know, you don't see my ideas as
different from your ideas. You see them
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less than yours. And that's classless
and egregious.
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00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:14,230
Classless and egregious?
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00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,530
What? What, you surprised?
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00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:23,269
Well, I had to learn them early because
there are a lot of people who think like
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00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,320
you. Whoa.
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00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:25,780
Maya.
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00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:27,060
That is...
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00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:31,410
I'm just trying to help you by exposing
you to something new.
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00:15:31,950 --> 00:15:36,309
This is no different from when I helped
get you into the paralegal course or
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00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:40,669
when I gave your family the museum pass
or when I gave you the shirt that you're
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00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:41,720
wearing.
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00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:47,989
Well, this may surprise you, Jo, but I
was a whole person living a happy and
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00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:51,870
full life before Miss Booker T. Clayton
decided to pull me up by my bootstraps.
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00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:55,830
Maya, you are taking this.
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00:15:56,170 --> 00:16:00,249
The wrong way. No, I'm not. The truth is
that we live in two different worlds
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00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:04,029
and you look down on mine just because
nobody can afford nor want some funky
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00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,589
Martha Stewart wedding. But you can't
even appreciate that I'm rich in other
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00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:12,249
ways. I mean, the fact that my aunt is
baking the cakes and my mother is sewing
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00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:15,949
the dresses and that I have loved one
Jones who can celebrate the way I want
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00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:18,010
celebrate. But how would you know that?
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00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:21,829
Well, you've known me for a year and
yesterday was the first time you even
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00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:24,290
bothered to come to my house. You know,
I'm tired.
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00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:28,869
I'm tired of having to teach white folks
what's so special about where I come
266
00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:33,069
from or what colors they need to wear
when they come to my neighborhood. But
267
00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:36,310
even more tired of having to teach
sadidi black folks like you.
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00:16:44,851 --> 00:16:51,639
I know it's a little uncomfortable in
here, and we'll get started in a few
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00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:55,059
minutes. And it'll cool down in here as
soon as the sun passes to the west side
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00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:56,110
of the building.
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00:16:57,260 --> 00:17:01,040
Does anybody else feel kind of weird,
you know, Joe not being here?
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00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,490
Forget Joe.
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00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,060
We're here to get me a sister.
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00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,310
My people are about to melt in here,
baby. You ready?
275
00:17:08,311 --> 00:17:11,539
Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, that's our cue,
people. Come on, let's get in a circle.
276
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:14,519
Make room for my babies, Jabari and
Darnell, right there in the middle.
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00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:15,570
we're ready.
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00:17:15,819 --> 00:17:17,660
Who knows?
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00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:35,140
gotta keep
280
00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:31,639
you get the dress she wore me down maya
you know those lawyers and their double
281
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:38,519
talk show you think with all the martha
stewart magazines she's
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00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:42,859
read she'd know that the bridesmaids are
supposed to go down the aisle before
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00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:43,679
the bride
284
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:51,379
see
285
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:55,620
that's what's so great about having an
informal wedding
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00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,170
start all over again.
287
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:04,370
Thank you.
288
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,600
You look so beautiful.
289
00:19:15,811 --> 00:19:22,419
All right, we're lurking and losing
people. Let's go. Let's just do this
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00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:23,279
wedding, okay?
291
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,960
Why don't you go use a little flat?
292
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,260
Y 'all get it together.
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00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:31,650
I'm sorry for the delay, baby.
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00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,270
I'll marry you all day.
295
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:45,070
Or at least till seven, because that's
when the game comes on.
296
00:20:07,571 --> 00:20:09,459
And she's black.
297
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:10,520
All right, William.
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00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:16,019
Which means you guys got to find another
right home, because the big daddy
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00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:17,070
mobile is booked.
300
00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:20,470
Our work is done.
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00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:23,240
Now, on to our next mission, Lynn.
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00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,340
You take Cuba, I'll take Kobe.
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00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:37,439
Here I am, watching yet another happy
bride and groom, wondering if my prince
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00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,490
will ever come.
305
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,420
Do you want to dance, Auntie Joan?
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00:20:42,421 --> 00:20:43,909
I'd love to.
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00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:48,460
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