All language subtitles for Girlfriends s01e09 Fried Turkey

Well, there is Joan.

It's not like her to be so late. Well,
I'm sure she's running herself ragged

trying to get everything for y 'all's
Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh, that's right. I still have to tell
her I'm not going to be there. I have

this family thing in Fresno.

You're not going to be there?

Neither am I.

I promised to help out at the homeless
shelter. You know, if it had been so

helpful to me in the past.

And I'm going to be in Kansas City.

You know, Mama's 64 years old. I figure
we only have 30 or 40 more Thanksgivings

left together.

Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm late. I was
running around getting all the

ingredients for what I am calling an N.
Tuck it Thanksgiving.

What do you think would be best? Pecan
pie or sweet potato pie?

Whatever comes in a single serving.

What? They're all bailing on you, Jo.
You mean you're not coming to my

Thanksgiving dinner? None of you? I
wanted to, but they all talked me out of

Well, that's okay.

I'm barely even prepped yet.

Are you sure you're going to be okay
without it?

Sure. This is good for me. I could
really use some down time. It'll be

I'll spend the entire holiday in bed.

Joan, I've done that. It's pretty
exhausting.

I'm in alone, Lynn.

Don't deny it. If you do it right, it's
pretty exhausting.

Have you seen the Thanksgiving
reenactment at the Beverly Center?

I'm here to pick up four sweet potato
cheesecakes I ordered.

Thanks.

Kelsey Grammer?

Yes. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

This is like the biggest celebrity
signing I've ever had here. I'm a huge

yours. I understand you recognize me
from television, but you have me at a

disadvantage.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Hi, I'm
Joan Clayton. Joan, hi. Hi.

So, Kelsey, four cheesecakes, huh? Oh,
yeah.

Is it a big gathering you're going to?

Well, you know, not too big.

Are Niles and Martin going to be there?

I was going to have a whole gang of
people over, too. No celebrities, of

Yeah. It was going to be real special,
though.

You don't like being alone on holidays,
huh?

Why do you say that? Well, actually,
after you play a psychiatrist for as

as I have, you've got to recognize the
time. You know, alone on a holiday

Yeah. I've been there myself.

I could tell you some stories.

You probably read some of them,
actually.

Excuse me.

These were prepaid, I believe, right?

Great. Happy Thanksgiving.

Nice meeting you, Joan. You too.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You too. Take care. Happy turkey.

Don't follow me.

I'm really sorry I couldn't get you a
table, but they are reserved for people

who are here with other people.

So how'd you enjoy the turkey dinner?

It was okay.

You'd think I'd get a little more
cranberry sauce for $75.

Where's your holiday spirit?

Thanksgiving is a holiday manufactured
by the murderous plunderers who stole

this country from its rightful owner.
And you are profiting from it.

Yeah, ain't America great?

But you don't have to worry, Joe.

Your dinner's on me tonight.

Really? Thank you.

Don't mention it.

It's a special occasion.

You are a special lady.

Just don't stroll in here alone at
Christmas time and expect the same deal.

Excuse me, is this fee taken? No, I'm
alone.

Not that I have a problem with that. I'm
quite content to be alone on a holiday.

Okay, then I'll just sit here, but I
won't speak to you.

Preston C. Hall, aren't you? The
Washington attorney.

Guilty. I'm sorry. That is such an old
lawyer joke. I'm sorry.

No objection here.

I'm a lawyer, too.

So, you know me. Who are you?

Joan.

Myth. Joan Clayton.

Well, Miss Joan Clayton, that was very
subtle.

I'm not married, either.

I know. I know. I read that article on
you in Black Enterprise.

So, are there any articles I can read
about you?

Well, um, my Girl Scout troop is in the
Fresno Bee.

You know, I tell you, generally, I don't
enjoy talking to lawyers, but if they

all were as beautiful as you, I'd never
leave the courtroom.

So, I see you two have met.

You two know each other?

Ah, forever.

Oh, back in the day, me and this boy
used to bust tables together.

Oh, and look at you now.

The youngest attorney ever to argue in
front of the Supreme Court. cream court

and davis you're still busing tables yes
but they're my tables

now so preston you decided what you want
to eat yet i don't suppose you fried

turkey here because you know it's not
thanksgiving for me unless i'm having my

grandmother's fried turkey i love fried
turkey hardly a holiday goes by that i'm

not in my kitchen frying a turkey what
in the hell's a fried turkey

Is this an invitation?

Sure. I mean, come on, you can't eat
Thanksgiving dinner in a restaurant.

Why not? You just did.

Well, that's very kind of you, Joan. I
accept your invitation.

Great. Yeah, me too, me too. My final
seating is just finishing up.

I'll even bring the turkey, because I
can't wait to see you fry it, Joan.

have to leave on the red -eye tonight
yeah i'm afraid so i have a meeting

tomorrow morning at the white house wow
the white house that's no big deal they

don't even get bet well this is turning
out to be an all right day my friends

bailed on me which is a good thing
because if they hadn't i never would

you well here's to your no -show friends

I look here, man.

Jonah and I, we got the kitchen covered.
Why don't you go out and get the

vegetables started on the grill?

Man, who grills vegetables on
Thanksgiving anyway?

Martha Stewart does.

Therefore, I do.

Preston, you want to come get the door
for me?

Something wrong with your foot?

Hey, man.

Don't be Mac and Jonah, all right?

She's not some courthouse groupie. Oh,
I'm sorry, man. Is that you?

No, she's a friend.

Look, I'm just a man trying to get these
vegetables on the grill, all right?

Okay, then why don't you put the
vegetables on the grill and leave, and

can finish up.

I don't know what they teach you all in
law school, but in the restaurant trade,

when a man puts his vegetables on the
grill, he stands by the grill.

Okay, then you man the grill, and I'll
man the woman.

You know what? There's something you
should know. You know how some women

three -day rule?

Joan has a three -month rule.

All rules have a loophole.

That's why Bill Clinton calls on me, my
brother.

So, you want to give me a hand seasoning
the turkey?

Oh, I don't know. I'm not good in the
kitchen.

You just haven't had the right teacher.

Then teach me.

All right.

Follow my lead.

That's for you.

All righty.

So, uh, how long should we rub this
thing?

As long as it takes.

This feels nice. Yeah, it is nice, isn't
it?

Doing a very good job.

Oh, uh, you missed a spot.

Just over here, yeah, on the breath,
yeah.

I didn't want to move too fast.

I just met this turkey.

Okay. The vegetables on the grill.

Everything okay in here?

Hey, uh, listen here, Davis. I gotta be
frank with you, man. We kinda wanna

spend some time alone.

Is that true, Joan?

Well,

what he meant by alone was... We were
just gonna... Thanks for clarifying that

for me.

That's fine. I mean, if that's how it
is, I can't guarantee how the vegetables

will come out, but good luck.

Happy Thanksgiving.

So, where were we?

I think I was about to rub a thigh.

I'm Preston Hall.

Oh, my goodness, the famous attorney.
Hi, I'm Maya Welch, Jones' executive

assistant.

She makes me download every article
about you on my launch app.

All about you.

It's me on the article day.

Girl, that's not a secret language
anymore, eh?

I thought you were having dinner with
Darnell's mom.

Girl, please don't get me started, okay?
We had a big fight right as we were

passing around the biscuits, and she
doesn't think I noticed it. She left my

name out of the blessing.

Can we talk about this in the morning?

Yeah, I mean, you shouldn't leave your
family on Thanksgiving.

I know you're Mr. High Powered, but you
know, it strikes me as odd that you're

all up in my business.

And Joan, I didn't drive all the way up
here upset to be put off until tomorrow.

Okay, okay.

Maya, what's the problem?

It's Darnell.

I mean, everything was going great up
until tonight, all right? He told his

mother that I called her a witch in our
marriage counseling sessions, and you

know and I know that's not true, and I
don't talk about that bitch behind her

back.

Okay, all right. We can talk about this
while I cook the turkey. This will take

long. Just relax.

I'll get your glass of wine.

Yeah, Preston, relax.

It's Thanksgiving.

I thought you didn't buy into
Thanksgiving.

Oh, call me patriotic. I'm starting to
get swept up in the spirit.

Okay, Joan, what is the turkey doing in
the skillet? I'm going to fry it.

You don't know...

about frying a turkey, okay? Where's
your meat hook and your Folgers can of

bacon grease?

Maya, I don't have either.

All right, all right, let me think. Let
me think. We're gonna have to improvise,

okay? Give me some cocoa butter and some
jumper cables, okay?

All right. What are you doing?

It'll be a lot safer to fry this turkey
on the grill than in the kitchen. I

gotta get this thing out there before
the cocoa butter congeals.

Joan, you wouldn't happen to have a fire
extinguisher, would you?

I don't need one. Do I?

No, not unless you have a garden hose.

It just occurred to me.

I don't want you to think that I run
around to restaurants and pick up

all the time.

Only on holidays, right?

No, really.

It's just that I feel so comfortable
with you.

I feel like I've known you longer than
three hours.

Anything like three months?

I took a Dramamine with a shot of
bourbon at the airport.

You may not know this about me, but I
have flying issues.

I passed out and missed every flight to
Kansas City.

You don't have any turkey left, do you?
I've had nothing but Starbucks and soft

pretzels all day.

Who's the new guy?

Oh, I'm Preston Hall.

Preston C. Hall?

Never heard of you. You're kidding.

So, you're the one that raised the bar
and made it tough for the rest of us

black attorneys to feel good about
ourselves.

I hate you.

I'm just kidding.

It's nice to meet you. I'm Vernon
Jordan.

No, I'm not!

I'm just kidding.

I'm a little high on caffeine right now.

Joan, can I use your bedroom phone? I've
got to call my mother and I don't want

everyone to hear me sobbing.

Just kidding, right?

No.

Quick.

I know so much about you, so why don't
you ask something about me?

Do you have any more friends?

Joe, I need you to be totally honest
with me. Do I look like a homeless

Because I went to the homeless shelter
to serve the homeless, and the staff

trying to serve me.

And I started to protest, and somebody
asked me if I was off my meds.

Is she?

We're not really sure.

So... What's in the box, Lynn?

Parting gifts, being homeless has its
perks.

Check it out, my favorite, spaghetti
hose.

Sanitary products, always need those.

And clean underwear, I don't have to do
laundry until Sunday.

I'm Lynn, who are you?

I'm Preston Hall.

Wow. You know, I really admire your
work.

Although, actually, that article on tort
reform in the National Law Review was

poorly thought out and had a couple of
typos.

Thanks. All right.

Guess I should fire my assistant.

Yeah, right.

Blame it on the help.

You know what, Joan?

I mean, I feel like I'm coming between
you and your friends, and I'm sorry the

evening didn't work out the way we
planned, but I'm going to say goodnight,

I'll call you sometime. No, no, no, you
won't. No, no, no.

Um, just give me ten minutes, then I'll
get everyone out of here.

Hey, when I dunk this sucker, y 'all
need to run for cover.

You think that turkey will fry in ten
minutes?

Back it up. The eagle is about to land.

I'm hit. I'm hit.

How bad is it?

Am I going to scar?

No, you're going to be fine. Just relax.

Thank you for taking care of me,
Preston.

Jonah! I've checked every medicine
cabinet. You don't have any aloe vera

Aloe vera gel is the only thing for
burns.

Then why don't you go down to the
drugstore and get some?

Joan, I've had the worst day of my life.

Come on!

I couldn't stay in Fresno for another
minute.

I love my family. I do.

But, girl, they are country.

And they remind me of everything I spent
the last ten years trying not to be.

Okay, country is fine.

When you're talking about a country
estate or a country like France.

Hi, Tony Childs, and you are?

I'm Preston Hall.

No, you're not. I've had Preston Hall.

No, you have not.

Well, then who was the guy that... Oh,
my God.

I need to lie down. I faced some harsh
realities today.

Okay, okay, that's it. All right,
everyone out. The woman needs some peace

quiet. What the woman needs is some damn
aloe vera. Okay, forget what the woman

needs. Everybody get out.

Wait a minute. Is something burning?

Fire, fire!

Call 911!

Call 911!

Oh, my God!

Somebody needs to go out there and smoke
a little flame. We need some salt. Joe,

do you have any salt?

Get your spaghettios.

Thank you.

Thank you for the eventful Thanksgiving.

I'm completely over my fear of flying.

It's been replaced by the far more
terrifying fear of being burned alive.

I'm telling you, John, there is nothing
like a near -death experience to make

everything crystal clear. That fire was
a symbol of rebirth and renewal.

Darnell and I have to renew our wedding
vows.

That's so sweet. Let me know the date.
Bye.

Preston Hall.

Are you sure we didn't have relations?

No, I think I would have remembered
that.

Of course you would.

But your name, Preston Hall, for some
reason... Tony, freshman year we lived

Preston Hall.

Oh, that's right.

I had relations in Preston Hall, not
with Preston Hall.

My bad.

Bye -bye. Happy Turkey Day. Bye -bye.
Oh, Tony, don't forget your SpaghettiOs.

Send them to my family. They love them.

Joan, are you sure you don't want me to
stay and help you clean up this mess?

No.

Okay.

But don't come crying to me when you
can't get the sit off your wicker.

So, Lynn, go and eat your dinner in your
room.

No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian.

I don't eat turkey.

Then go in your room and try on your new
underwear.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that'd be fun.

See how easy it is to get rid of my
friends? Yep. All you had to do was burn

your house down to do it.

Oh,

please tell me that's just your heart
racing.

No, that's my alarm.

I have a plane to catch.

We have to get together the next time
I'm in L .A.

Just promise me you won't cook.

Done. Not even tough.

You'll want these for the plane.

Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving, Joe.

Happy Thanksgiving, Preston.

Lynn, please tell me you know how to get
set out a wicker, because I can't ask

David.

Can you get that?

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

Hello?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah. Uh -huh. Right.

You're a life loser.

Oh, you joker. I've seen the other
number of a good therapist for you.

He's pretending to be Kelsey Grammer.