Original subtitles

MUSIC

APPLAUSE

MUSIC

MUSIC

MUSIC

There are you. Jack.

You coming in for coffee, mate?

No, I don't think I'll, well, it's half past 11.

Yes, a bit late on it.

Yeah, your family's all gone to bed. No sign of life, anyway.

My family's no sign of life when you're awake.

LAUGHTER

Oh, blimey, this looks beneath big two hours, mate.

How could you tell? Listen, listen.

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

LAUGHTER

Oh, lollie.

Take some two hours to work up to that.

Go on. I spend the first half hour tuning up.

LAUGHTER

I'll sit there more and more and more down, mate.

Good night, mate. Good night, mate.

MUSIC

Mmm. Mmm.

ORL wrinkly

pale- suit.

LAUGHTER

ushina, f

honk

Oh!

Mmm, somebody's here!

am arteries, but stat?

This is rock and things got again.

Yeah, you're cold, she's all right.

That's what he does!

It's your brother, Doctor Serkin and Toyden.

What do you do in there, you wag to be up?

You're snoring lad on what that cistern is.

Then he's gone wrong again, I've got to stop it.

You don't either do it, neither of me,

and he's a special sort of jerk.

I'm a lovely sleet.

What's going on?

What's the matter with the loo?

The jerks at work.

He needs a delicate touch, I happen to have the neck.

Not with everything.

No, you won't, that's all right.

All right.

As soon as you let go, start again.

First down, at least you know how to stop it.

All you've got to do is I want to chain down.

Oh, Charming, I'll stand here and I'll hold it to Charming.

Oh, I'll talk stupid, tired, tired, having a bit of strength.

Oh, no.

If I had to come in here in the middle of the night,

I'll cut arms, top arms, doing not...

Not with that big glasses, I'll come in.

Which way are you going?

Yeah, right.

It needs a good odds, sir.

Like this, a good game.

Charming, what have you done?

I pulled a chain off, ain't I?

What are we going to do? I can't reach up there,

and I'm too old at my time, I like to go standing on the seat.

Oh, I'll fix it, I'll need a spanner.

Spanner?

We've got one in a bedroom, I'll need a bed, get it, olive.

You keep a spanner out of the bed.

How arses like that? He keeps them very peculiar things in his bedroom.

Don't you laugh.

You can say that again.

Anyway, I'll need a torch at all.

Oh, we've got one of them, too.

Hey.

It's a torch at a spanner.

I thought it must be more a man in life than I thought.

Anyway, that old figure, I don't know, you've delivered it so long.

Now, he's right there, Ma, you know.

Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Your grandfather put that up with his arm ends.

Mom, he's been dead 50 years.

I'll give a stand-up.

You're a mother.

I'll give a stand-up.

You're a mother.

I'm a bull.

You're a mother.

I'm a mother.

Get a foot down the frame.

Get down.

Get down the lid.

Just come out of it, see.

That's all it's happening to it.

Hey, buddy.

Come on, baby.

I've got that.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Hang on.

Got the lid.

That's all right.

Just come out of it, see.

See, can I get old already?

What's Dan doing?

Really?

Get your torch.

Right.

What can you see?

Nothing.

I've dropped the torch in it.

No, you clumsy great idiot.

I've just bought a new battery for that.

Get it out.

How can I get it out?

I can't see it you idiot.

It's lights gone out.

What are you running a water fiddle about?

Oh, I mean.

Careful, Stan.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh, got it, got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Oh, yeah.

Look at that, he won't go on now.

Oh, well, I can't help that.

Oh, Stan, you've dipped your itch spot in the morning.

Ah, I drew a fat nut and a good shot.

Shut your face.

This is Stan, I guess it's Stan.

Oh, see if I can tighten up the nut on the bolt.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You've cracked the mason.

The pain was already cracked.

Oh.

Arthur, see if you can fish the expander out.

You won.

You've lost it and you've fished it out.

Oh, no.

Good

round of mason.

Parr.

In theLS.

Oh, thank you very much Jack, sorry you became in ten Trumpet.

It was a pleasure.

Any time?

Deaf.

Yeah, yeah, he's expecting you.

This is ridiculous!

And it's soaking wet every time you want to go out and loot.

You should have gone up to late!

One rainy when I went.

Yeah, well I do not intend listening to the weather forecast every time I want to go.

Well, it can be very embarrassing.

I'm going to wait till I get down to the shops.

Ah, it's nothing for it, but I have to get a new one.

Gotta cost a bit, you know.

Mind you, we could use the old system and buy a new pan.

Oh no, if we're going to have a change, I want one of them low level sweets.

What on earthful?

I don't want to pull it.

I want to turn.

You're a snot, that's what you are.

And besides, I cost a bum.

Well, most people in the street have got them.

Anyway, I've got a little bit of money saved up.

For me, I level grill for the kitchen.

I make up your mind.

Why do you want high level grill or low level loo?

Most people have both these days.

Why do you have to be different, won't you?

Well, have I, level loo and a low level grill?

Oh, welcome home.

That was most embarrassing as I walked down the street like this,

the millman whistled at me.

Most probably thought he was his horse.

Oh, say, say, say, say.

And now listen, what are we going to do about the loo?

Well, all that for chipping.

Chipping, you must be choking, mate.

You broke it, you pay for it.

Listen, mate, if you don't pay your wet,

I'm going to lock it up so you can't use it.

Oh, shawl this you are.

All right, then, you me and mum would pay a third each.

Oh, no, no, you work.

It's two of you, you and I live.

No, me and mum will pay off, you pay off.

You'll be lucky.

All right, then I'll lock it up so she can't use it.

All right, I'll pay off.

I suppose I owe it to her.

Oh, thank you, love.

You can have it for your birthday.

I'll tell you what I'll do, love.

I'll put some candles on the seat,

and we'll all gather around while you blow them out.

Oh, you mustn't say those things.

Hey, listen, I just thought I'd show it.

There's a place on our route that I've got all these toilets

and baths, they've got them out on the pavement.

You know, I've got a place on our route that I've got

all these toilets and baths, they've got them out on the pavement.

You've seen them, aren't you?

Do you know what? I reckon I'll get one cheat.

Oh, we could go and have a look.

Oh, I want to go.

In that case, I shall be there.

I want to see how you'll spend my money.

Why don't we pack some grab and make a picnic of it?

I'll pack some sardine sandals.

Oh, no.

Oh, here we are, mum.

Here.

How about this one, then?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, dear.

What's wrong with it?

Oh, dear.

We don't have to choose it in the street till we...

We're not.

We are.

It's not very nice.

I'm sick.

You know, we've been buying a pen.

You're not trying to address, you know.

Oh, come on, let's get over it a penny more inside.

Oh, shut your face.

Oh, no, I've eaten that.

That's not fair.

Oh, I've got a stick out of here, mum.

I've got a stick out of here, mum.

Put it in there, no, no.

What a lovely shot.

You've seen a prize or something.

Oh, I like that one.

Oh.

That's not a proper one, that's plastic, any luck.

Oh, no.

I want a solid one.

I don't want them plastic ones.

They catch fire.

No, not you too chill.

Catch fire?

Yeah.

Well, if it catches fire, you just put the handle down.

It puts you out, done it.

Now the organ, that catch fire.

Well, you know how careless Olive is with her cigarettes.

She banned a big oil in the blag at the other day.

That was in bed.

I wouldn't fall asleep in there.

You fall asleep anyway.

Anyway, if it is plastic, it don't catch fire.

It just moves.

Well, that can be very embarrassing, conny.

I mean, one minute you're sitting there, the next you're floating away on a sea of red

up molten flesh.

Oh, no.

Now I want a solid...

Ooh.

I like that one.

Now that's lovely.

That is that's how Danil.

Oh, no, it's not.

It's green.

Anyway, says he's a frustrated expo.

Expo.

Ooh, Stan.

What?

If it's made for a broad, pracic, well, work in England.

What are you talking about?

Well, like the cars.

They're not the same.

Well, if it plays, you'll put a notice on the back, left hand drive, no hand signal.

Well, it might be one of their nitricle ones.

You know, all different sizes.

We're all different sizes, aren't we?

But you take Olive.

She's got a great mid-fattel.

Yeah, into death.

Oh, I mean, it's like, it's like continental shoes.

I mean, they're all different.

They're too narrow for me.

Well, I'll get you a shoe all in case you get stuck.

God's sake, watch my offer.

We're gonna have this one a lot.

Yes, yes, my crony sake.

That's how it's going.

You're gonna have it.

Yeah, mate.

Well, I'm just greening.

Well, then J-Pound 15.

Now, would you like a nice seat to go with it?

Oh, doesn't it come with a little seat?

No, they're an optional extra.

Oh.

Yeah, a waddle plastic.

Take it, you're sure, sir.

Oh, wood, it's much nicer.

Well, you mean nicer.

Oh, well, you would look.

That's nice and warm, isn't it?

I mean, your plastic's all cold.

You can get a rash from plastic.

Well, I mean, you don't have to talk a load of rubbish.

Well, it's like these nylon shirts.

They don't breathe.

You have them on a couple of hours, and you're all clammy.

We're not sitting on there for a couple of hours, are we?

That's out and moped.

I wouldn't like a wooden one.

I had a very unfortunate experience with a wooden one in lower stuff.

Do you remember our...

Yes, yes, yes.

I got a splinter from it.

Yes, yes.

No, I'm not here.

Let's make this.

Now, if you really want a posh one, how about that blacker up there?

It's got a lid on it.

Oh, yes, that's lovely.

Oh, yes, that's more discreet.

I mean, look, this is like having your own front door, isn't it?

You've put an upper on it for you, shall we?

Have you made up your mind?

Yeah, we're going to have this greener and we'll have this blacker muder lid here.

Yeah, we want a cistern, but nothing dear.

You know, a bit cheap.

Oh, I'm not sure.

You've got to look all the things that go with it, the pipes and all that.

Yeah, you'll find a mule in there.

Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?

Yes.

How about you, Jacklin?

I tell you what, I'll do it, you have a lot for 15 quid.

Oh, right.

Can you send it round straight away, please?

No, we don't deliver.

Not on these prices, are we?

Hey, look at you.

Are we going to get this owned in?

Well, I suppose I could do it for you myself, private.

Now, because you're extra 30-pump.

But, I'm not sure.

I'm not sure, because you're extra 30-pump.

But, not for at least a week, you see.

I've got to pick the property.

Oh, what did we?

Some of them we can't wait that long.

No, no.

Yeah, copy 15, Nick.

Yes, I'll take the lid.

No, wait a minute, wait a minute.

How are we going to get this owned?

Well, I'm not fucking out for a taxi, I'll tell you later.

No, wait a minute, hang on.

What's the time?

Yeah.

Oh, Jack, he's busted you in a couple of minutes.

He'll let us get on with a lot.

Wait a minute, take the seat, take the seat.

I'll take the seat.

Here, roll on it.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Oh, I'll take the seat.

Come on, mate.

Come on.

What are you saying?

It's fine down then.

Yes, it's fine.

Oh, I'm fine.

Hang it, hang on.

Come on, out, Jack.

Come on.

Oh, look, Mum, there's a couple of seats down there.

I'm all right, now.

I've got to be out.

Hey, get my...

No, not bringing that on his bus.

Hey.

Oh, look.

This is a public conveyor.

It's not a public convenience.

I'm not having that on.

This is a maintenance part of our shopping.

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.

You're all right, and I've literally taken it, aren't you?

I'm going to right-roll again from the inspector of my turn up and the depot without onboard.

Look, all we want to do is drop you off at the bottom of our road.

No, no.

Why the hell didn't you have it sent?

Because he said he'd take seven days to delivery.

Well, it's your art, like that, isn't it?

All right.

All right.

Grab hold of it, Dad.

Grab hold of it.

Well, if he doesn't mind us, pop me around his place.

Oh, yeah.

Well, for seven days.

Go on.

I'm in there.

Quite another thing, thank you.

Four of you, queuing up and me lying fifth.

Oh, all right.

Come on in.

Bring it up.

Stick it down here and I'll keep an eye on it.

You'll have to go upstairs.

We'll fall down here.

Oh, I'm going to take down please.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Go on.

Oh, blimey.

What's he giving a wash and brush up now then?

You are the attendant I suppose, are you?

What is this?

This object here.

Well, haven't you got one in yours?

How did he get on the bus?

Oh, well, someone must have slipped in on when I wasn't looking.

Oh, yeah.

Or he slipped out of somebody's pocket, I suppose.

Oh, well, I'm banking.

Oh, well, I'm banking.

Oh, well, I'm banking.

Oh, well, you're just mind.

Butler?

Yeah.

I might have guessed I'd find you behind that.

What do you mean by bringing that object on the bus, eh?

Well, what's your picture?

Your picture.

You do know what it is, I suppose, don't you?

Yeah.

It's a large egg cup.

It's a large egg cup.

It's a large egg cup.

I'd like to see the bird that could fill an egg with it.

So I'd like it to be around when it was flying.

Get it off, come on.

Anyway, listen, Jack let me onward it anyway.

Well, he had no right to.

Yeah, I'm about on.

I'm our rights rule 62.

A conductor is allowed to use his discretion to let things on the bus.

Yes, and an inspector can use his discretion to order him off.

Get it off, come on.

You had no right to put it on there.

It's an ill thing.

Look, mate, you're a bus inspector, not a sanitary inspector.

Look, I'm in a way, you're talking to anybody who thinks it was connected up.

You heard what I said, get it off.

You had no right to put it on there at all.

It's obstructing the petfall.

Ah, ah.

Rule 81, nothing will be carried which obstructs the petfall.

What's the order?

Oh, it's in, Blakey.

What's the matter now?

This bus is not moving off until that closet's taken off.

Oh, come, come, come.

We're fighting on it.

Oh, I'm not going.

You're enjoying this, isn't you?

Yeah.

Oh, I thought it was going to be a rotten day and all.

Here, can we go now?

No, hang about.

I will never worry about your driver. He's running late.

Hey, go.

Hey, what's in his lawn?

So, well, he's sticking it in the back of the bus.

Hey, stick it in the back of the bus.

Oh, what?

Oh, what?

What?

Oh, what?

What?

Oh, what?

What?

What's the matter?

Oh, what?

What?

Oh, what?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks very much.

That's all right.

Get in over.

Gary, you see another?

That Cuudon Voice

I have it

Thank you very much

Hey Mum! You coming have a look, I'll finish the session

You're a bit of a chubby, aren't you?

Do you mind, obviously, at first you've been in the queue.

Well, it's only just inquiry.

Yeah, well then.

You sure you made it, connections all right?

It's daft.

Now, if you don't fancy it, mate, go elsewhere!

So, listen, Mum, I've put this one in, and it's one of them nice, quiet ones.

You can hardly hear a sound.

You come a little, yes.

Come on, little one.

Ouch!

Why don't you keep quiet, just when Stan's going to demonstrate.

It's not a symphony concert, we're not the album at all.

Well, keep quiet while he does it.

You ready?

Who do you think you are? You'll be menuing.

Will you be quiet?

Shh!

You said it!

No, that was me shushing in.

You've done it, yeah, I'm going to do it now, now listen.

Right.

Here we go.

Is it finished?

Oh, I've got it finished, that, was it?

Oh, it is lovely!

Oh, and doesn't the seat look nice?

I'm glad we got that solid one.

Ooh, I've got a lovely little dolly, crassie, now.

Oh, no, that's good.

Very nice.

Just finish it off there, now.

Why don't you put the phone in?

Oh, no, that's good.

Oh, no, that's good.

Oh, there, now.

Why don't you put the files of flowers on it?

And that picture of that in the silver frame, you know?

Oh, stand up, cool.

Oh, say.

Word is a bit stupid, isn't it?

I mean, the dolly's going to fall off every time you lift up.

You're a great twent, you can't lift a seat up.

Oh, that could be very awkward, Stan.

What are you going to need to be an acrobat, aren't you?

I'm going wrong, it's a bit stiff, that's all it's...

Maybe I'll go.

Take it off, that's if we're ever going to use it.

I don't know, that'll put the dolly in the flowers on, we'll all go round the jacks.

Ah, stop being funny.

It's no need to take it off.

Look, I've left this space here, so the assistant will go back far.

That's all it is, I'll give it a push, and that's it.

Here we go then.

Right, boom.

Oh, hey.

Oh! Oh, yeah.

It only means like that.

I get a little bit off.

Turn me off.

That's better.

That's better.

You got it, better!

You Johnny, you got it!

Don't need me!

You've just finishing the work!

Listen!

I'll only get off with it.

Hey.

Oh, no bluff!

You've been out in the water, I've put him out in the water!

I'm turning it off!

Give us that spanner, I'll have to fix it.

This is the world top, it's just about to rinse the air in the water.

I'll turn it off, you'll have to wait.

I can't, the shampoo's got diamonds behind me, I'll be overdone.

I didn't know you died, you were here.

I do.

I thought it was natural, Mouse.

I'll know the words.

Oh no, it won't be a fallout.

If it does love you, you're going to be a star-laught, you're going to be a star-laught.

He's got it.

Now go turn it off, it's all done now, love.

It's all done and I must say, ready for use.

Oh, and it's lovely.

I've waited 25 years for this.

Is that really?

Yes.

In case you'd better go first.

It's a low level sweep.

Oh, yeah.

Well, if it's all worked in a few too, don't mind, I'll buzz in first.

Oh, right, I'll pick up the tools.

I'll try to do that one.

There we are.

All right.

Just be my guest.

Thank you.

Lovely.

Excuse me.

All right.

You're stupid before you can't shut the door.

Actually, you're low level noo.

It makes the pan stick out so far I can't shut the door.

I can't even shut it in a bit more.

Not unless you want the other half in the street.

Look, it's so good.

You'll never get a new one like you'll one up there.

What are we going to do with this, mommy?

Everybody just bought it.

Advertise it.

That's what I'll do.

I'll stick that in the paper.

One owner.

Never been used.

Brand new.

I'll think of something.

Here we'll mean why we've got to make some arrangements for tomorrow morning, haven't we?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.