Original subtitles

We'll be right back.

Step inside.

Grab a seat, will you please? What the fuck am I doing here? I already fucked

the store manager so that I could go home. Like, what is this?

I don't know if that's how that works.

What are you talking about?

Who do you mean? You fucked the store manager and you think he's going to

now? Yeah.

You were caught shoplifting. Are you crazy?

Yeah, and then I fucked the store manager so I get to go. That's how that

works.

That's the store manager.

Maybe if you went to him ahead of time and asked him something... Are you

fucking kidding me? No, I'm the security here. I'm the one who decides who gets

prosecuted. You're a glorified mall cop. Are you kidding me? I believe you. It's

not like you can arrest me.

No, I can't, but what I can do is I can pick up my phone over there and I can

call the police and I can have them come down and arrest you. Is that what you

want? I can't believe this.

I mean, listen... Do I fuck that guy for nothing?

Well, I mean...

It's not going to help the situation between you and I in my job. I'm lost

prevention. This is my job. I'm supposed to fucking catch criminals stealing

shit.

But the good news for you is, you know, now that I know that you're open to

negotiations. Oh, my God. Let me guess. You want me to fuck you, too?

I mean.

Isn't that illegal somehow?

You're the one who offered.

offer it? I should be able to walk out of here. I just fucked that Kevin Penn

guy. I have cameras right there. It's just you offering me sex. You're telling

me you fucked a manager and now you're just offering me sex to get out of it.

Did I misunderstand you? No, but you would be part of it.

You would also get in trouble, I'm pretty sure. I'm not a fucking lawyer,

think... I'm not a lawyer either, but I do...

Okay, but guess what? I fuck you, and then what? You're going to hand me the

cop, and then I have to fuck a cop now?

And then when do I ever get to go home?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, okay? I'm not sure.

I have to ask you whether or not you even have more of our merchandise.

Except for... Clearly, I don't have anything on you. There's nothing clear

this, except that you would have probably been wild with custom iPad in a

time. Oh, wild.

Fucking dildos falling out of everywhere.

Why do you have that in here?

Because people steal stuff all the time.

Yeah, people steal dildos and all kinds of things. And you keep them? And you

sniff them?

It's evidence that hasn't been bagged yet.

Okay, is that on camera?

Everything's on camera here.

What kind of place is this? What the fuck?

If you allow me to do my job. What's your job? I have to search you. What are

you talking about? No, no.

You have to do a full cavity search or I'm going to have to call the police. A

full cavity search?

What, you think... I stole a fucking bra.

It's not like a smuggling drug.

Well, I mean, I don't know what you took.

All I know is that you're a suspected shoplifter and I have to do my job. And

you can either stand up and let me search you or I can call the police and

them do it. Those are your two options.

So are you going to start cooperating? You're going to hand me over to the cops

anyway.

Okay, so I'll tell you what.

If you cooperate...

And I don't find any other stolen merchandise.

Yes, then I can go.

No, you can't just go. What do you think my job is here? Are you crazy? No. I

don't know what your job is here. My job here is to make sure that shoplifters,

that I try to retrieve any lost merchandise, and I prevent shoplifters

coming back.

that's where the sex part would come in. Oh, my God.

I'm just saying.

I'm already never coming back. I already had to fuck that other guy. Well, you

know this is getting nowhere. I already had to fuck someone.

Clearly, I learned my lesson. You fucked the wrong guy. I fucked the wrong guy?

Okay, look at it like this. You know, like a concert group, he goes and they

start, they fuck the roadie.

And eventually, you know, if they fuck enough roadies, then it would secure

I think it's up to the rock star.

Yeah. Well, I'm the rock star in the situation.

So, that means...

Yeah, I'm the security.

I'm the one who decides if the cops get called or not. So just tell you what.

Why don't you just cooperate?

Let me do my cavity search.

Oh, my God. A nice thorough cavity search.

You know what? With lots of pussy eating.

And then you let me get off. And then I'll let you go. I won't call the

Okay, just a cavity search.

No, not just a cavity search.

Why not? Why not? Because that's like the appetizer to the entree.

That's enough for you to jack off. You really need... Come on. I'm not here to

jack off. You should be grateful.

I am grateful.

Like, the cavity search is... You should be grateful that you get to cavity

search me. You know what I mean?

First off, you just got fucked by some other guy. This isn't that big of a

thrill. I mean, what do you know? That looks like some sort of a fucking

that gets off on this shit. Yeah, you really do. Yeah, I'm sure I do.

Enough gaffe out of you.

Do you have anything?

There's nothing there. Is there a weapon or anything here? Are you sure?

I'm going to make sure now.

Oh, my God. Ew.

No shit. Okay, moving on.

Moving on.

I like your enthusiasm.

Make sure there's no weapons or anything that I can... No sharp objects I can

poke myself with.

No. No.

Why are you growling?

I'm not growling. There was a growl. There was a low, like... Okay, it was a

primal snip. Oh.

Figure it out. You have a security guard, right?

Look, nothing.

I don't have anything.

Put your hands where I can see them.

I'm over.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God.

Let's see.

Nope, there's nothing there.

I'll decide if there's anything there or not. Will you please do my job?

Can you do your job faster?

Oh, what are you doing?

I'm getting a closer look. Do you mind? I do mind, actually.

Well, I'm sorry about that. No, you're not.

Let's take a closer look.

I've got your binoculars on you.

Monocles. I should have brought my glasses.

you are.

We were two guys in one day.

Three of us.

Oh, my God. You're not going to find anything in there.

You know what? I thought I was in charge of doing the cavity search here.

Are you a security guard?

Do you do this for a living?

I don't think so.

Oh, God.

You're not going to cooperate. I'm going to have to call the police. No.

Dude, you're in my... ass. You know what? Okay, turn around. Sit down on the

desk.

My shirt shouldn't stick to you.

God, what a day.

and tight.

Amen.

It's whatever.

Oh.

have lunch today? Like, goddamn.

Why am I so hungry?

I'm too ticklish.

Oh, God.

What's that doing out?

What's dripping out of there?

Oh, I was excited to see you. That's my pre -cum.

Oh, oh.

It's pretty creepy, isn't it? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no.

I agree to a cavity search. You're supposed to get off. And then I leave.

yeah, get off. That's the key word here.

A cavity search.

Not that.

Well, I mean, how do you think I'm going to get off, honey?

Don't you jerk off?

Why would I jerk off? You've got to eat my pussy and finger me. That's plenty.

Why would I jerk off? I've got a beautiful naked girl in front of me with

legs ripped. Why would I jerk off?

Because I want to get out of here.

No.

We had a deal. I mean, if you're not going to deal with me. You cavity

me, which you just did.

Let's be crystal clear.

Crystal clear.

The deal is, first off, you already fucked the manager.

Exactly. Exactly. This is crazy.

Of course it goes without saying I'm going to fuck you as well. No, it does

go without saying.

It goes without saying that I get out of here.

You let me go. Yeah, you can.

You let me fucking real quick. No, you're just going to hand me off to

else, and then I'm never going to go home. I'm not that type of guy.

I don't know you, dude.

I know.

That's what I'm trying to fix here.

No. That's what I'm trying to change. I don't need to get to know you. Are you

sure? I'm positive. Come on. You know what? I'll tell you what.

It's either that or I have to call the police.

Dude.

I mean, sweetie, it's just I hate to do it. I hate to be that guy. Yeah. No, you

don't. You don't. What are you talking about?

I'm just, you know, do we have a deal?

I mean, I'll let you go.

Dude. I'll even let you keep the bra.

already gave the briar... Well, of course you care about the briar. You're

stealing it.

I don't... I have nothing on me. I have nothing on... Just come already.

Just come. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Not like that. Just like... All right. Well,

fine. Okay. I guess I'll just call the police. No!

Okay. So, we have a deal then? Goddammit, dude. Just... You better be

Just get it over with, please. I want to get out of here. What does that mean,

close? It means just come, like, as quickly as you can.

Just bust the fucking nut. Not inside me.

Just let's get this over with. I want to go.

I'm hungry.

I'm cranky.

I'm tired of fucking people today.

I learned my lesson. I'm not going to steal it.

So we have a deal. We have a pinky promise.

I'll let you go.

You let me fucking till I come.

Come on.

Okay, but make it quick.

Make it, and let me go. You better let me go. Of course, I wouldn't.

I will murder you if you don't let me go. Yeah.

I feel

like I feel heat.

Wow.

Wow, that's a nice pussy.

Yep.

Shitty -ass hard, cold tables.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Stay right there. I'm not going anywhere, I guess.

You don't have to do all that.

I'm going to take that. I just want to get nice and comfortable, you see.

I don't want to shortchange you from this amazing experience.

Play with yourself a little bit.

What? Play with yourself.

Pleasure yourself, let me watch.

Oh, my God.

Come on. Do you want to make this sexy? Do you want me to come, or do you want

to sit there and play the whole time? Yeah, I do want you to come.

Oh, okay. I want you to come quickly as well.

That's not so painful.

I'm sorry.

Needs and consideration.

That's really sweet of you.

Come here.

You know what you can do?

Bend right over this desk.

God.

You must be so uncomfortable.

So uncomfortable.

Oh, Charlie. If you're going to fuck people in here, you should, like, make

my thought.

You think I should get a couch or something?

Yeah. That's not a good idea. That's not a good idea.

You should come tickling now.

Oh, yeah.

Come on, baby. You know you like it.

You like it.

You love it. I can taste it.

I can taste how much you like it. It's in my fucking beard.

I'm not going to wash my face for a week.

I'm going to walk around the center of your fucking beard.

Hmm.

I'll be back.

I'll come faster if you need me.

Get right down here. We're going to be working these.

Oh, seriously.

Make sure you clean stuff up before we go outside,

okay?