Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the sun, moving on up, to a deep...

What do you hear about your new next -door neighbor?

Oh, Helen, you know me. I'd never pry.

Ooh, Miss Jefferson, guess what?

You know the dirt you wanted on that new next -door neighbor?

Well, I got some.

Well, as president of the tenants' council, I consider this my official

responsibility.

This.

Well, her name is Robin Richardson.

She's rich, young, and single.

drives a brand -new $30 ,000 sports car, owns about 300 pairs of shoes, a mama

and daddy co -signed a lease for, reads all the latest rock magazines, and guess

what? She is throwing a major party at her place tonight.

Well, go back out and get all the details.

Me? What you talking about?

I ain't no snoop.

You know, Florence has a point.

That girl's business is none of ours.

Oh, you're right.

Let's just let it rest.

300 pairs of shoes!

Careful!

Just a crack.

I can't see a thing.

Hold on a sec.

I saw this once on the man from Uncle.

There she is.

Young.

Thin.

We hate her.

Oh, now, wait a minute. It's not fair to make snap judgments based on one little

look. You're right.

She's too thin.

She's too young.

She's coming.

Just being guys.

Yeah, I'm Robin, your new neighbor. We know.

She means we know you're going to like it here.

I'm Louise Jefferson, and this is my friend Helen Willis. Hello.

Hi. So what's with the mirror?

Oh, the mirror. Oh, well, this... Helen.

Oh, this?

Well, um... Oh, Don, there's the elevator.

You know, I would love to stay and chat, but I've got to get down to my

apartment.

Down? Helen, your apartment is upstairs.

I'm taking the scenic route.

Nice meeting you, Robin.

Yeah.

Oh, darn.

Now, we'll never know what the mirror was for.

Well, I know what I'd do with it if I were you. Here, take a look.

See, now, your makeup looks sort of... What's the word? Um, washed out.

That's two words, dear.

Oh, please, you know what you need?

Bless her.

It'll bring out your cheekbones.

Oh, uh, but thank you, Robin.

I like my cheekbones where they are.

No prob.

When we have more time next week, I'll bring over my big makeup kit. We'll do

over your whole face.

Oh, goody. Yeah.

So, uh, what would be a good day?

Uh, tell you what.

Let's play it by ear.

Good deal. Listen, I gotta go.

I'll catch you later.

Not if I catch you first.

sounds so formal. Can I call you Louie?

No. Okay.

Well, anyway, the reason I came back is because I forgot. Well, can I borrow

some confetti for my party tonight?

Aw, gee, I used the last of mine when the astronauts rode down Fifth Avenue.

Why don't you try Mr.

Bentley in 12E?

Thanks, Louise.

Oh, here, try this lipstick. It's called Bubblegum Pink.

Oh, thanks, but I always wear juicy fruit.

Go keep it, really, because it'll make your teeth look much whiter.

Bye!

Anyway,

Harry, I hate to start out our friendship by having to ask you a favor,

Nonsense! and favors are the backbone of the good neighbor system.

But I must warn you, wayward borrower, I'm all out of milk and sugar and eggs.

No, Bob, because what I wanted, I wanted some confetti. Oh, well, come right in.

Oh, you mean I have some?

Yes, and if there isn't enough, I've got a stack of comic books and a quiz in

art.

Yay!

I didn't think I'd ever find any.

You mean you've already asked other people? Well, only the old lady who

next door.

Ladies? What a hell of a funny show this is.

What is it?

60 Minutes.

What comes on next?

Oh, George, this is ridiculous.

All we do is sit here like dummies watching other people's made -up lies.

You're right. Let's go to the movies.

I don't want to watch.

I want to do.

We used to get out and do fun things when we were young.

Oh, I know. Hey, get up. Come here. Come here.

Let's drive out to Coney Island and take a walk on the beach like we used to.

See, that's a great idea. I'll get you a sweater.

Hey.

Oh, you know, you're right. Those sea breezes can get chilly. You better get

coats instead.

Jack.

with all the broken bottles on the stand these days, we need heavy shoes.

Oh, oh, you know what I just remembered?

Those horrible fleas, they eat me alive.

Don't forget the bug spray.

Whoa.

Surf's up.

Oh, George, I'm not in the mood anymore.

Surf's down.

Hey, tell you what.

Why don't we go up to Mario's and have one of those kitchen sink pizzas like we

used to?

That sounds great.

Although, that neighborhood has gone to pot lately, hasn't it?

And wasn't Mario having trouble with the Board of Health?

Yeah, but now we got the bug spray.

George, I don't know why you suggested that hole in the first place.

I guess I lost my head.

Hey, you know who I hope that is?

Who? Anybody.

I spoke too soon.

Hi, you two. Listen, who'd like to go get ice cream cones? Hey, that's a great

idea, Weas.

Where's Tom?

Oh, he went on ahead.

There are 31 flavors.

Do you realize how much exercise you have to do to burn off the calories of a

single scoop of ice cream at your age?

Well, I'll tell you what.

I'll start exercising right now.

I'll exercise my option to leave.

I don't understand.

Is it just me, or is Helen a big dud lately?

Is it just you?

I've seen you do it hundreds of times.

But doesn't that music bother you?

Yep. Needs more bass.

George, I want you to go over there and tell that girl to turn that music down.

What girl?

The new girl in 12C. The one I watched moving in the past two days.

Oh. And people think you have it easy.

Oh, George, you should see her furniture. All pillows.

I think everything she owns falls out into a bed. And you know what that

don't you?

It means that I get over there, I have a place to sleep.

They have sharp bristles.

Florence, do you know that this building was a nice building to live in before

Robin moved in?

I'm sorry, but she's completely out of control.

Did you see what she had on today?

I own belts wider than that mini skirt.

It is.

Well, can I spot him?

Listen, I'm having a party. Why don't you come in and join us?

No, thank you. I'm looking for my husband.

He came over half an hour ago. Your loud music woke him up, and he's mad as

hell. Gee, I haven't seen anyone around who looks like that, but you're welcome

to come in and take a look.

Well, he's not getting any younger, you know.

He works hard, and he deserves his rest, poor man.

They're having a meeting here later this afternoon to discuss a big problem in

the building.

No, I'm afraid we don't have enough chairs for Mr. Whiskers, Pookie, and

All right, your cast can elect one representative.

But he doesn't get a vote.

Goodbye, Mrs. Pardella.

Miss Jefferson, I am not setting no chair for no cat.

I have to accommodate Mrs. Pardella. I need everybody's support if we expect to

do anything about that girl. You are really on the warpath.

It's not me.

I'm just thinking of some of the older tenants in the building.

Just consider it a favor from me to them.

Well, as long as you're handing out favors, do one for me.

So I thought she'd be the perfect one to talk to.

Okay, now, I know you're supposed to put all the whites together, but where do

you put the creams and the ivories?

Well, the creams and the ivories I'd put with the whites.

And this, I'd put down the garbage disposal. Oh, no.

Too much party hardy.

Hey, have you ever tried wearing teal?

No. Good.

Where shall I stick this, in with the darks or the brights?

Oh, well, you're the expert. You know where to stick it.

Don't tempt me.

Hey, you know, this is a super cute place.

I can't believe it's so furnished.

Well, we are funny that way. Yeah?

Well, how long have you lived here?

Eleven years.

You're kidding. Some of this furniture is probably older than I am.

Oh, no.

We redecorated right around the time you hit puberty.

Well, I'd love to sit and joke all day, but... Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I got more important things to do, like making a dent in this mess.

Oh, um, now just two more wash -related questions.

Number one, where do I do my laundry?

In the basement.

Thanks. And number two, how do I do my laundry?

Well...

You go downstairs.

You put the clothes in the machine.

You wash the clothes.

You put the clothes in the dryer.

Dry the clothes.

And your husband gets paid for this?

Well, he has to do something to fill his time between parties. I hear you.

Oh, that reminds me. Party tonight. Be there, be square.

Good try and goodbye.

Now, attention, attention.

Please be seated.

I'd like to sit on the couch, please.

Why do you have to make trouble?

Oh, I'm sure we can find room on the couch. Mr.

Whiskers can move over.

He needs a straight chair for his back. I want to sit on the couch.

The couch would be fine.

Fine for you. You don't have to live with his back.

Now, don't start with Louise.

Push up your glasses.

Men are such children.

Please, can we get to the reason why you all are here?

I'm here for the refreshments.

Don't start.

Did I hear refreshments?

No, I've got two kinds. I've got ham and cheese and cheese and ham.

Oh, we'll have refreshments later.

Well, I got them right here.

Florence, don't start.

Now, our first order of business is the disturbance that... Who wants to see the

pictures from our Hawaiian crew?

They're not very good. Al took them.

Friends, friends.

Now, we can all look at pictures later when we have more time.

Now, can we please get to the issue at hand? Mr.

Whiskers will have milk.

Mrs. Pardella, is that the issue at hand?

Aren't we still discussing refreshments?

Refreshments?

Not now, Florence!

Well, excuse me.

Now, the reason I called this

meeting today...

is to discuss the invasion of our peace and privacy.

Your glasses are slipping.

I want them to slip.

Well, let them slip.

Just listen.

Now, this building has been a lovely place to live in, right?

Right. What? Where people are considerate and thoughtful of everybody,

right? Right.

And we want to keep it that way, right?

Right.

You all agree that we have to do something about this Robin, right?

Robin?

Why, Robin is like a breath of fresh air.

Al, you remember how she greeted us today in the hall with that lovely

That was a lovely hello.

And she throws a hell of a party.

You were there?

Mr. Whiskers and I closed the place.

Well, I just feel that we don't need this kind of disturbance. Louise, this

exactly the kind of disturbance that we do need. Yes, he's right. Mr.

Whiskers is 14 years old. That's 108 to you and me. But every time I bring a new

little kitten home, he starts acting like a boy again.

Louise, you know your problem?

You're turning into an old fuddy -duddy.

What's going on here?

Jefferson, I owe you an apology.

For what? Well, you know, all these years I've been hearing about that nut

-D, I thought that meant you.

Thank you.

Nice guy.

Wait, what's the matter?

Oh, George, just forget about it.

No, what's going on here?

We were just having a discussion about Robin.

Oh, was you still mad about the party?

No. Then what's the matter?

We just had a meeting.

to see what some of the tenants had to say about it. Oh, Weasley, you know what

the old people are going to say.

Oh, fine, George.

That's just fine.

Now, you're calling me an old lady, too. What are you talking about? Who called

you that?

She did, the one you were defending.

Robin? Oh, Weasley. And you want to know the worst part?

She's right.

She's right? What do you mean she's right? She is not right, Weasley. Look,

work at the help center 40 hours a week.

And you take care of me.

You're not old.

George, I'm not the girl I used to be.

I'm not the kid who met you in my mother's big pink sweater and my

dungarees.

But I like you better in your own clothes. They fit better.

And I'm not the girl who liked to stay up all night to watch the sunrise on our

fire escape.

What difference does it make the sun stays out all day anyway?

And I'm not the girl you kissed under the bleachers at Evander Child High.

What does Velma Stokes got to do with this?

George, I'm not the girl you marry.

I'm not the girl I used to be.

Please.

To me, you are.

George, thanks for trying.

Look, find out who that is and get rid of him. I'll meet you out in the fire

escape.

Oh,

hello,

Robin. Hi, Weed. Can I borrow something, if that's okay?

More confetti?

Not quite.

Do you have a heating pad?

You need a heating pack? Oh, well, come in and sit down.

Yeah.

This young kid who's teaching my aerobicize class, she must be all of 18

old. She thinks everybody in the world can do 100 sit -ups.

Oh, well, can't everybody?

Thanks a lot.

Anyway, I totally roached my back, okay?

So I decided to go to the record store, buy a little ear relief.

All these kids listen to nowadays is this Duran Duran stuff.

I mean, whatever happened to the great groups we used to listen to, like Pink

Floyd?

Well, I guess time marches on, even for your friend Floyd.

Please, you ever just feel old?

Oh, once in a while.

But then... something comes along to remind me that everything's relative.

You mean kind of like, today those young kids made me feel old, but really young

kids make them feel old.

Exactly. And you know what?

None of that matters.

Of course, age is just a state of mind.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

Thanks, Weas.

No, thank you.

Oh, Robin.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Thanks, Weas.

So are we going to be friends or what?

Oh, we are going to be friends.

But please do me a favor.

Don't call me wheeze. That's just for my husband.

You got it, Louise.

Oh, my God.

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