Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up, moving on up, to the east side, moving on up, to a

deep...

to the help center's blood drive.

You don't know how much it means to me.

Oh, no problem, Miss Jefferson. I was happy to help out.

Oh, Louise, it was our pleasure. We could hardly feel the needle at all.

Right, Helen?

Uh, Helen?

Oh, my arm.

My arm.

Oh, you poor baby. Let me kiss it and make it well.

Ouch.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Do you think this will leave a scar?

Oh, Helen, of course not.

Just think of it as a harmless mosquito bite. Now, that doesn't leave a scar,

does it?

It leaves a bump.

All right, then compare it with having your ears pierced.

Did that leave a scar?

It left a hole.

Okay.

Then I have this suggestion.

Grow up!

a baby.

Oh, I know what you need, sweetheart. Something to bring your blood sugar back

up. You'll feel better in no time here.

That's a great idea, Tom. Oh, I think we have some donuts in the kitchen.

Florence? Oh, I'd love some.

No, I meant I thought that you would serve them.

Oh, I'd love to, Miss Jefferson, but I'm just too weak.

Well, You did do me the favor of donating your blood. So you rest a

I'll get the donuts.

Oh, Miss Jefferson, while you're at it, would you mind running the vacuum

around?

I'm just so tired. I mean, they must have took too much blood out of me.

Florence, they only took a pint.

Your body replaces it in 24 hours.

Oh, thank goodness.

Well, in that case, I'll be back on the job at exactly 4 .08 tomorrow.

Now, Louise, allow me. You've been working hard at that blood drive all

Oh, thanks, Tom.

There on the table.

Or the bread box on the counter.

Or on top of the refrigerator.

Or on the fourth shelf in the cabinet next to the sink.

Isn't that funny? That's exactly where we keep them.

How do I get this bandage off?

They must have put it on with linoleum paste.

Oh, well, let me help you.

You know, the best way to take off a bandage is you lift up one side gently

this, holding it very carefully, and then you just yank it off.

Oh, Helen, is something wrong?

Look, Louise.

I was glad to give blood, but I just hadn't planned on donating my skin.

Helen, I couldn't find any jelly doughnuts, but I'm sure when we get back

upstairs, we'll find some cookies or something.

Oh, well, thanks anyway for the thought, dear.

Don't be.

Oh, Tom, you have something on your chin.

Hmm? What is it, jelly?

There was only one left.

But that was for my blood sugar.

Louise was right. You are acting like a baby.

All right, enough, you two.

According to my list here, everyone we ask has donated, all except one person.

What? You mean somebody promised to give and didn't?

Now, who on earth could be that selfish?

Hi, everybody.

Nothing like a good snooze in the afternoon.

George is... Is that what you've been doing?

Look, I want you to get down to that hospital this minute and donate blood. I

can't, Weasley. I dropped the suit off down at the store. And I gotta go down

and help supervise the cleaning.

But this is the last day of the drive.

I'm the chairwoman.

How will it look if my own husband doesn't participate?

About a pint short.

You mean a half pint.

George, we all managed to find time to donate blood.

All of you? You mean to tell me they even took blood from Florence?

Now, that's frightening.

Someday somebody's going to wake up with an urge to burn pork chops and not know

why.

Well, you can joke all you want, Mr. Jefferson, but I feel great about today.

Oh, get the door.

Not that great.

You know, all of a sudden I have an urge not to answer it.

I don't know why.

Oh, hi, Mr. Bentley. Hi, Mrs. J. I was just on my way down to the blood bank

when I suddenly realized I don't have the vaguest idea where I'm going.

Oh, well, come on in. I'll get the address for you. Have a seat. Thank you.

Hello, everybody.

Hello there, Mr. Bentley.

Hey, Bentley, ain't you a little overdressed with a blood bank?

Oh, not really, Mr. J. You see, after I donate, I have a date with Phoebe.

I'm taking her to the movies to see Captain Blood.

Sort of a theme evening, you see.

Well, it might not be wise to make plans for tonight, Mr. Bentley.

You never can tell how the loss of blood is going to affect you.

Oh, don't worry about me. I come from hearty stock.

My family's been giving blood for generations.

As a matter of fact, just last year, my great Aunt Pauline was honored by the

Red Cross.

Oh, you must be very proud of her. Oh, yes.

Unfortunately, the honor had to be given posthumously, you see.

Aunt Pauline died immediately after her last donation.

Oh, my. What was it? A loss of blood?

No, a fish truck.

Killer broadside as she was leaving the hospital.

Oh, I get squeamish just thinking about it. Tuna all over the place.

Shocking. Well, at least you have some consolation in knowing that her blood

went on to save lives.

Yes, and not only her blood, Mr. Willis. You see, she had one of those donor

cards in her purse. Oh, they picked her clean.

Yes, her heart, kidneys, liver.

When they buried Aunt Pauline, the only organ at her funeral was a Wurlitzer.

You know, there are parts of the dear old girl living all over the world. Just

the other day, I was walking down the street, and I could have sworn I saw

Pauline in someone's eyes.

At least one of them.

Is anybody else a little nauseous?

Mr. Bentley, here's the address.

And remember, it's not at the health center. It's way across town.

Oh, I don't mind, Mrs. J. It's such a worthy cause.

Oh, I have an idea. Why don't you and George go together?

Then you both can donate.

I can't, Weas. I got a clean Whittendale suit.

Maybe I can go after work.

All right, George.

Here's the address.

And remember, the place closes at 6 o 'clock.

Now, either you be there or don't bother coming back here.

Oh, Mr. J., it sounds like she's out for blood.

Get it? Out for blood.

Well, my Aunt Pauline would have laughed.

If she hadn't donated her tongue.

Hi there, Mr. Jefferson, sir.

Just giving the door its routine annual checkup.

Good thick wood.

Completely soundproof.

So, when are you going to donate that blood?

I don't know, Ralph.

I got a lot of work to do this afternoon.

And besides, The blood bag closes at 6 o 'clock.

Wait a minute, Ralph.

You have no life, right?

Nothing to speak of, sir.

Well, why don't you do me a favor? Why don't you go down and donate some blood

for me?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but that's one thing in the whole world that I just couldn't

do. Just the sight of a needle makes me sick. My stomach gets queasy. I start to

shake. Well, 50 bucks do?

They can drain me with a hose, sir.

Now, remember, donate the blood in my name. But, sir, they'll know I'm not

George Jefferson.

I mean, I'm a couple of inches taller than you. They don't know me there.

Are you sure?

Yeah, it's in the hospital on the other side of town.

Look, here's the address.

Whatever you do, don't say nothing about this to Weezy.

You can count on me, sir.

My veins may be open, but my lips are sealed.

I'm having a nervous break.

Okay, tell me what you're breaking down over this time.

That suit wouldn't have brought it yesterday. I burned it.

How?

I don't know, Weezy.

I didn't do it on purpose. It was just a little burn on the lapel. I didn't

think he would notice it, but he did. He's been calling me all day, leaving

messages for me to call him.

So he found a little burn on his lapel.

It's not that terrible.

What are you talking about, Weezy? It's beyond terrible. The suit was imported.

It cost $2 ,000 and was custom made, and I ruined it.

Look, Weasley, the man owns the building. We could be out in the street.

Okay, then we'll just have to get some plastic slipcovers for the furniture.

No, Weasley, this is not funny. Look, I know how the man thinks.

He's never going to let me forget this.

As far as he's concerned, I'm dirt.

Mr. Wittender.

Jefferson, I love you.

I love you. I could just hug you.

Of course I won't.

But it's the thoughts that count.

Aren't you upset about your suit?

Certainly not.

How could I be upset after what you've done?

Good point.

What did I do?

Did you or did you not donate some blood yesterday?

Blood? Oh, yeah.

Well, do you know where that blood is right now?

Not really. We kind of lost touch.

moment, your blood happens to be coursing through my wife's veins.

Oh, I don't understand.

Last night, my wife, Mrs. Whittendale, was rushing to answer the telephone.

And in her haste, she tripped over a small but priceless sculpture of a

elephant. Oh, how terrible.

Well, actually, it wasn't too bad. Just a small crack in one of the tusks.

What about your wife?

What about my blood? I'm getting to that.

As Mrs.

Whittendale fell, she grabbed the draperies for support and pulled a cast

curtain rod down on her head.

Oh, my God!

What did you do?

I fainted.

Fortunately, our maid was thinking on her feet and called for an ambulance.

See that? We can't even get floss to stand on our feet.

At the hospital, we learned that Mrs. Whittendale had a very rare blood type.

seems there was only one pint of compatible blood in the entire city.

Imagine our surprise when we found out that the donor was you, Jefferson.

Yeah, well, you know, I feel really close to Mrs. Whittendale now.

Can I call her by her first name? No.

But we are both indebted to you.

Oh, George, isn't this wonderful?

You're a hero!

Oh, come on, Wheezy, I'm not a hero. All I did was save the woman's life.

We realize that there is no way to repay you for what you've done, but if you

can think of anything, I mean anything at all, you just tell me.

Jefferson, the sky's the limit.

George, breathe.

The sky's the limit?

Oh, excuse me.

Hi, Mrs. Jefferson.

Thought I'd bring up the mail and save you a trip. Oh, thank you, Ralph.

Mr. Whittendale, I didn't see you come into the building. Well, he did, and

here, so get out.

How is Mrs.

Whittendale, sir? I hope she enjoyed that assorted nut selection I sent to

hospital. Hart, you can't expect me to compare what Jefferson did to a bag of

airline peanuts.

And what I did is not important.

It's not important?

Well, I'll tell you what he did. He did something so minor, so insignificant, so

unimportant, that it's not even worth your ear time. Bye, Ralph.

George, why wouldn't you let me tell Ralph what you did?

Because I can't stand people worshipping me.

I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, so I'll just be going.

Whittendale. You can make me feel as uncomfortable as you want, okay?

Okay, what can I get for you? A drink? Hors d 'oeuvres? Your checkbook?

Nothing right now. I really must be getting to the hospital.

Oh, don't you feel well?

My wife is dead.

Oh, please give Mrs.

Whittendale our best wishes.

And tell her to give me a call if she needs a quick pick -me -up.

And you think about what you want.

I'll drop by later to discuss the details.

Remember, the sky's the limit.

Oh, George, for heaven's sakes. I'm rich, Wheeze, I'm rich.

Now, don't get carried away.

Mr. Whittendale was very generous to you.

Now, you shouldn't take advantage of that.

Wheeze, I am surprised at you. The man's wife is laying up in the hospital.

What kind of lowlife would take advantage of a man in a situation like

Your own island, George!

What's wrong with an island? It's just like a house, only wetter.

Well, can't you think of something a little more reasonable?

Oh, we... Come on, okay.

How about a Rolls Royce Silver Spur?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

What about a nice tie?

Or a new wallet?

Or... Yow!

That's the most beautiful car I've ever seen.

And look, Weez, it comes with the color TV, wet bar, mink carpeting. Oh, you

can't ask Mr.

Whittendale.

You think the mink carpeting is standard or what?

And look, we also get a choice of a move.

Oh, George, this is ridiculous.

We can't ask for something that costs so much money.

Trust me, Weez.

I won't even ask him. I'll just casually slip it into the conversation.

Mr.

Rosendale!

Good evening. I was on my way back from the hospital and thought I'd stop in.

Well, how is Mrs. Whittendale doing?

Oh, splendid.

Splendid. Thanks to your husband here.

Well, you know what they say. A man's blood is only as good as the person he

dumps it into.

Well, Jefferson, have you decided yet how I can express my gratitude?

Well, actually, Mr. Whittendale, I haven't really given it that much

How about one of these?

A Rolls Royce Silver Spur?

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

Well, if that's all you want, it's yours.

Breathe, wheeze, breathe.

With the moon roof and the mink car?

Money's no object.

After all the blood Jefferson donated saved my wife's life.

Like I always say, Weas, all you need is a pint of blood and a good, generous

heart to pump it through.

What do you want? We have to talk, Mr. Jefferson, sir. Look, I don't have time.

I'm busy. It's rather important.

Look, if it's that important, it can wait, right?

Excuse me.

I happen to overhear your conversation with Mr. Whittendale, and I have just

thing to say. What is it? That's my rose.

Look, Ralph, come on now. Don't get excited.

Oh, no, sir. No, sir. One of your paltry gratuities won't cut it now. Look,

Ralph, don't be difficult, okay? Look, that's my blood in Mrs.

Whittendale, and that's my rose. Look, well, I didn't want it. He's forcing the

car on me.

How can you take credit for something that you didn't do? That's low, that's

despicable, that's my role.

Will you stop saying that?

We can make out a deal, right?

No. Okay, okay, I'll tell you what. We'll split it 50 -50. I'll drive it,

park it. No. Okay.

I'll use it for six months and you use it for six months.

That sounds more like it. But I get it on weekends and holidays.

Wait a minute.

Why am I...

making a deal with you. All I have to do is go in there, tell Mr. Whittendale

the truth, and then he'll know it's mine.

Go ahead.

It's your word against mine. Who do you think he's going to believe?

But it's my blood. But my name's on it.

Okay, 50 -50. But every time you get behind that wheel, just remember one

That's my rose.

And I think we'll really get a lot of youth out of this car phone.

Oh, hello, Ralph.

How nice to see you, Mrs. Jefferson. And God bless you, Mr. Whittendale.

George, we are talking about color.

Now, I think this two -tone metallic gray is simply stunning.

Oh, it's a perfect choice, Weasley.

If it were mine, I'd get it in white. Anybody with taste prefers white.

Ralph, she's right. The metallic gray is perfect.

Uh -huh. Mr.

Whittendale. Ralph.

That metallic was terrible, Weas.

But I like the gray.

Are you going to argue with this man's taste?

Why don't I just write the check out to you, Jefferson? You people can settle

these details later. Good choice.

Be sure to include tax and license.

Well, let's just round it off to an even hundred thousand.

That's Jeff versus son with two Fs.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

This charade has gone far enough.

Ralph. I can't let him do this to you, Mr. Whittendale. Ralph.

Jefferson is playing you for a sucker. He paid me $50 to donate that blood in

his name. It was me who saved the life of your wife, not him, me.

George, is this true?

He's delirious.

Look, he thinks he's a doctor and everything.

Get out of here, Ralph. You're fired. You haven't got the power, baby.

Jefferson. Is he telling the truth?

Well, I hate to speak philosophical, sir, but you see, the truth as you know

the truth as I know it, or the truth... George!

How could you?

I'll deal with you later, Jefferson.

Hart, this check is rightfully yours.

I know that, sir.

Get the door, Jefferson. It's annoying me.

That's Ralph Hart.

H -A -R -T.

What can I do for you? I'm looking for George Jefferson.

I'm George Jefferson.

No, you're not.

Jefferson's a weaselly little guy in a doorman's uniform.

Oh, hi, Mr. Jefferson.

The man's obviously crocked. I'll eject him forthwith.

I'm sober as a skunk.

You promised to give me $10 if I donated blood in your name.

He's a lunatic.

Wait a minute.

You say this guy pays you $10 to donate blood in his name?

No. I said he promised to pay me.

Where's my $10?

Heart.

This is going to mean big things for you, son.

you a hot meal, then you and I are going car shopping. Car shopping? Great.

I slept under a car once.

Well, Jefferson, it's been quite an interesting day.

First, I was going to write you a check. Now you are going to write me one.

Write you one, sir?

Yes, for that suit you ruined.

$2 ,000 should about cover it.

And that's Whittondale with two Ts.

Mr. Jefferson.

Easy come, easy go, huh?

So, this charade is over.

You ain't got the power, baby.

Get the door, Jefferson.

Oh, sir.

Have you ever read Sybil?

Allow me, sir.

I lost my call.

George. I can't believe you paid someone to donate blood, and then you took the

credit just to get a reward.

I lost my car?

That's so low.

You know, for a while there, I was very proud of you.

I lost my car? I... My husband's a hero.

He saves someone's life.

You know, for one minute there, I... What?

Put a sock in it

Hmm.

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