Original subtitles

Well, we're moving on up. Moving on up. To the side. Moving on up. To a deep.

that a 76 -year -old man helped stop a purse snatching yesterday.

Big deal.

You think you'll be that active when you're 76?

Look, Weezy.

Inside this 50 -year -old body, there beats the heart of a soldier.

Yeah.

One who spends the whole night at ease.

He works there at the newsstand.

Oh, and look, George.

His name is Harold Mills.

Mills, Mills. Where have I heard that name before?

It's my maiden name.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I didn't recognize it because you didn't say it right.

Harold Mills was my father's name. Isn't that a coincidence?

Yeah. Is the picture there?

Yeah.

You know something, Weezy?

If you were a man and had gray hair and were 30 years older, you'd look just

like that guy.

Uncanny, isn't it?

No, I'm serious, Weezy. You and that guy could be related.

Oh, George. Okay, let me get your family out.

George, what's with you? You never used to be interested in my relatives.

It's the law.

What law?

The law that says the relatives that you like, you lose contact with, and the

ones that you don't like, always around.

It's called law of relativity.

Okay.

But, George, I'd know if someone in my family was named after my father.

But suppose there's somebody in there you've never seen before. Like this guy

right here. I ain't never seen him before.

Who's he?

That's the minister who married us, George.

Well, that day I only had eyes for you.

Okay.

Okay. How about these five guys standing in front of the parlor? You know them

too, I guess, huh?

Yeah. They're the Temptations.

Yeah. Just testing you.

Oh, wait a minute, George.

There's a picture of my father in me.

Why's he holding over his head?

Oh, well, that's a little game we used to play.

Mama told me every night at bedtime he used to fly me into my bedroom and then

he'd plop me down on the bed and say,

Another perfect landing, Louise. Just don't wet the runway.

That's cute.

You know, that's the only picture I have of him.

I... I guess he was too busy to pose.

He worked two full -time jobs to support a family.

But even out of all of that, he still had time to play little games like

aeroplane with me.

Boy, they sure don't make them like that anymore.

Yes, they do, too.

Look, Weasley.

Come here.

Now, see?

Now, okay.

This is your father, right?

And this is Harold Mills who works at the Bradley Building.

Now, tell me, don't those two Millses look alike?

Oh, it's just a coincidence, that's all.

A lot of people look alike. I know, Weas. I look like Harry Belafonte.

But these guys got the same name.

George, my father is dead. He died when I was two years old.

How do you know he's dead?

My mother told me.

What do you really know about your mother?

I'm sorry. I'm just going crazy.

These two Harold Mills guys look like the same man.

No, he's got to be dead.

48 years.

No, that can't be my father.

Because if it is, that would mean he deserted us.

And my father wouldn't do that.

Where are you going?

To the help center.

And if you want to know what I think, you'd better stop watching the old

of The Twilight Zone.

Oh, hello, Mr. J. Mr.

J. Hello, Mr. Bentley.

Let's take one more look. Case closed, George.

Perhaps I should come back later. That's always a good idea.

It's all right, Mr. Bentley.

George thinks my father's working down at the Bradley building.

Really? I thought your father was dead.

He is.

Oh, well, then, Mr. J, I doubt very seriously if he's working at the Bradley

building.

At last, a voice of reason.

Bentley, what do you want?

Advice, Mr. J.

I wonder if you and I could have a man -to -man talk.

We're one man short.

Amazing, Mr. J, because that's my problem in a nutshell.

You see, my social life seems to be tailing off lately. For some reason,

are finding me entirely too resistible.

I haven't changed my cologne, although I did experiment with soap on a rope once

or twice.

But sometimes during a conversation, it seems as though I'm being completely

ignored.

Anyway, then I started to notice that women today are caught up in this urban

cowboy fad, you see, but frankly, I like myself the way I am, so I'm faced with

a dilemma, you see. Should I retain my present image or should I go with the

time? Who cares?

If you thought somebody was dead and he was seeing work at some place, wouldn't

you go down there and see for yourself?

Oh, certainly.

So would I, thanks.

No problem, Mr. J., but to get back to my problem, do you think it's at all

possible that, uh, I'm just imagining here that people are ignoring me.

Do you have anything around here to read?

Humpty Dumpty.

Oh, I'll just browse around, okay? Yeah, okay.

Say, uh, uh, your name wouldn't happen to be Mills, would it?

Harold Mills?

That's right.

Am I supposed to know you from someplace?

Oh, no, no, no. It's just me and my wife, Louise.

We were looking in the newspaper this morning, and we, me and Louise, we saw

your picture, and we decided that I should come to your hand and just say

brave guy you are.

Does that mean anything to you?

Means whoever taught you how to talk let you get away too soon.

Thanks anyway, Mr... Jefferson.

George Jefferson. Oh.

Jefferson Cleaners. Seven locations, one near you.

That's quite a comfort.

Oh, boy, I bet your family's really proud of you.

Ain't got no family.

You sure?

Let's just say I try to keep on top of things like that.

You ain't got no sons, daughters, cousins, or daughters.

Nope. Never had time for a family.

See, I sort of like to move around.

Like where?

You know, you sure do ask a lot of questions, Jefferson.

What do you want with me anyway?

Okay, well, let me tell you.

See, um...

This was a picture of my wife's father, right? I say was because she thinks he's

been dead for 48 years.

But when I saw your picture in the paper today, it was such a coincidence I just

had to come down, you know?

I mean, look, you can see the resemblance yourself, right?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Well, are you ancient?

Ain't.

Sorry. Oh.

Well, I guess he is dead now.

Sorry to trouble you. No problem, Jefferson.

See you around.

Oh, the picture.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

If I went home without this, my wife would kill me.

Oh, well, good luck.

Have a Humpty Dumpty on the house.

Oh, Humpty Dumpty, thanks.

Hey, you know that guy from somewhere?

Just met him.

Oh, yeah? Who is he?

My son -in -law.

George, where have you been?

Huh? I'm glad you're home. We are having a painting party down at the help

center.

What do you have behind your back?

Huh?

Nothing.

Oh, come on, George. I know you're hiding something.

Now, what is it?

Okay, if you really want to know, it's a rat.

Oh, what?

A dead rat. I found it over by the door. You want to see it?

Don't turn around until I tell you.

Okay, you can look now.

What did you do with it? I put it in the cupboard.

You put a rat in our cupboard?

Oh, look, I might as well tell you. It wasn't really a rat.

It was one of your hats.

It was a natural mistake.

So now what would you tell me about the help center?

Well, I came back to ask you if you wanted to go to a painting party today.

Always. I wanted to stretch out and watch the wrestling match.

But, George, this is important.

This is important, too.

George, you never want to do anything for the help center.

Okay, I'll do something for the help center.

I'll spring for the paint.

This way, the paint will still be on me.

George, what's my father's picture doing in your checkbook?

Um... What?

My father's picture.

George, don't tell me you went down to the Bradley building.

Okay, I won't tell you.

You did go down there.

I was curious, that's all.

You went up to a total stranger and asked him if he was my father.

Even after I told you there was no way he could possibly be him.

And you...

Not to go down there and embarrass him, me, and yourself.

Right?

What about something else?

I don't believe this.

It wasn't that bad. All I did was ask him. He said no, and I left.

Well, I'm glad it turned out that way.

You're glad?

Yes. Because if my father is alive, that would mean he deserted me.

And I couldn't live with that.

George, it's Sheriff Bentley.

Look, Bentley, I'm kicking back to watch the rest of the match. Oh, my Lord.

Now, I know you're probably busy, Mr. J, but I had to come over and show you my

new image, only please don't move, because I haven't learned to negotiate

yet.

There.

Now, how do I look?

Well,

that's one opinion.

do look different.

Oh, I feel different. Italian boots, French jeans, and a German belt buckle.

I've never felt so American in my life.

Uh, yes.

Well, I'm going upstairs to the Willis's to see if they want to help paint.

Ta -ta, Mrs. J. Or, uh, should I say, happy trails.

Goodbye, Mr. Bentley.

Whoever you are.

Care for a char of tobacco?

Get that stuff away, Bentley.

Do you really think the women are going to think that you're a real cowboy?

No, no, Mr. J. The thought never crossed my mind.

Do you really think they could?

Look, Bentley.

Take it from a man who knows all about women.

Oh, do you have his number?

A woman doesn't go by the way a man dresses.

She goes by how real he is inside.

You're right, Mr. J.

I'm going to go back and change out of these things right this minute. That's

the best news I heard all day.

Oh, but before I go, I wonder if I might borrow some talcum powder. Please don't

ask why.

Absolutely I don't.

Hey, get that for me. I'll be right back.

Right now, Mr. J.

Yep.

I was looking for the Jefferson place. Oh, here's the Jefferson spread,

stranger. Come on in.

Here you go, Bentley.

Oh, thank you, Mr. J. Hello, George.

Harry.

Harry, is your name Harry? My name is Harry.

Excuse him. He's in his country under an idiot exchange program.

What can I do for you?

Well, I, uh... I want to talk to you about this morning.

Oh, yeah. Look, I'm sorry I wasted your time. I mean, I don't usually do that,

and I was wrong.

You were right.

I was? About what?

Your wife, Louise, is my daughter.

Oh, I get it. This is a con game, huh?

You found out I own seven cleaning stores, so now you want to be part of

family, right?

So you can get a piece of starch.

I'm telling you the truth.

I'm your wife's father.

Okay.

When's her birthday?

August 29th.

Hold it.

Lucky guess.

Okay, here's one for you.

What's Louise's sister's name?

Maxine.

When's her birthday?

July 12th. Oh, I forgot to turn her birthday card.

You convinced?

No, not yet.

Okay.

If you're really Louise's father, when she was a little girl, how did her

hold her?

How did he put her to sleep at night?

You guessed that, and you're her father.

Okay.

I used to pick her up like this.

And I'd pretend she was an airplane.

I'd buzz her into a room, put her down on the bed and say, another perfect

landing, Louise.

Just don't wet the runway.

Are you convinced now?

Where the hell you been?

Love, Jefferson.

Raising a family in them days.

Kids always needing something. Wife always needing something.

Shoot.

I wasn't put here on this earth for just that.

I mean, I tried.

I couldn't get a good job in New York, so I took this porter job on a train

going out to California.

I figured I'd make some money and bring the family out.

But when I got to seeing what life was like on my own, I kind of liked it.

And somehow the years sort of slipped by.

And so you sort of forgot you had a wife and two kids. Look!

There's one thing you've got to believe.

And that's that I never stopped loving my children.

And you proved it by ignoring them for 48 years.

I want to see my daughter, Jefferson.

You can forget that, Jack.

I got the right. You lost your right when you bailed out.

Look, Louise thinks you're dead. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm going to make

sure that you stay dead.

Now get out of here.

Nope.

Nope.

What the hell do you mean, nope?

Maybe I ain't been the greatest father in the world.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Don't be so hard on me. Because I've been there.

I've been poor, Mills.

Dirt poor.

And we came through the hard ways.

But I didn't think my family was dragging me down. They kept me going.

But I... But you's nothing.

Yeah, you bailed out.

Now you come back here to mess up a woman's life who thought you were the

biggest thing since pockets.

And you don't even care if the truth hurts her.

George! Helen!

Told me she called the center.

And they've... Oh, excuse me. I didn't know you had company.

It's okay. Wheezy's leaving.

Wait a minute.

You look familiar.

I do?

Oh, yes.

You're the Harold Mills that was in the paper.

You caught the purse snatcher.

That's me.

Oh, my husband just went on and on about...

How much you look like my father.

George, did you drag him over here?

No, we... As a matter of fact, I came here to see you.

Me?

Yeah.

I wanted to tell you that... Well,

your husband showed me a picture of you and your father.

Maybe you noticed that I look a little...

Like your dad.

Yes, you do. Well, I wanted to see what the little girl in that picture grew up

to be.

I figured that if I had ever had a daughter, she'd look a lot like you.

It's, uh, nice meeting you, Louise.

And it's nice meeting you, Mr. Mills.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to change into some painting clothes.

Thanks, Mills.

It's okay.

You took good care of her, Jefferson.

You know, I quit my job at the newsstand this morning thinking about opening

up my own restaurant down in Norfolk.

Shoot. I figured if the colonel can do it, so can I.

You've got a fine woman there, George.

Yeah, no, thanks.

Hold it, Harry.

Here you go. Take it.

It's yours.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Just take care of yourself, okay?

seen my work shirt?

Oh, no.

What's the matter?

Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about your father being gone, that's all.

Yeah.

Even after all this time, I find myself still missing him.

You know something, Weasley?

You're just gonna have to get used to me tucking you in bed at night.

I'm counting on it, George.