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♪ MTV
2
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,288
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
3
00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,323
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
4
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,017
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
5
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,631
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
6
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:19,849
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
7
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,673
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind
8
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,592
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
9
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,373
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
10
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,465
♪ I'm headin' on
down to South Park ♪
11
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,332
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
12
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,167
♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
13
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,860
♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,316
He's gone too far
this time, dude.
15
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:53,709
The stuff he's saying about
Jews is out of control.
16
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,233
Bro, you just got to ignore him.
17
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,625
Bro, it's pretty
hard to ignore him
18
00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,279
when he's saying it
all on a podcast.
19
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,760
He actually said that
all women are whores,
20
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,280
and the only thing we're
good at is murdering babies.
21
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,633
Look, guys, just leave it alone.
22
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:06,066
Don't give him any
more attention.
23
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,636
That's easy for
you to say, dude.
24
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,464
Yeah, you are one of
the multitudes of groups
25
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,506
he's spewing his
stupid shit about.
26
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:12,424
Hey, guys.
27
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:13,729
Who are you talking about?
28
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:14,812
Clyde.
29
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:15,944
Clyde?
30
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,169
Yeah, and his stupid
debating podcast.
31
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,514
Hey, here he comes.
32
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:21,911
Whatever, guys.
33
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:23,909
Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong.
34
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,351
You don't know a thing
about the Jewish people.
35
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,653
Yeah, and shut up
about girls' bodies.
36
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:31,269
Well, that sounds like a very
female and Jew thing to say.
37
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,392
If you guys don't like it,
38
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:34,294
why don't you come
debate me on my podcast?
39
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,883
We're not indulging
your stupid podcast.
40
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,402
Yeah, screw you, fat ass.
41
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:41,797
Wha... what?
42
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:44,934
Now, as your counselor,
43
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,893
I want to try and
understand why you're doing
44
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,804
all these bad
things you're doing.
45
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:52,551
The other students are
very upset at this podcast.
46
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,509
And what makes you
think you got to say
47
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:55,898
all this stuff, Clyde?
48
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,205
Hey, I'm just trying
to make my nut, man.
49
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:01,560
Y-your nut?
50
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,344
Yeah, you know, kids
have it tough these days.
51
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:06,173
We got Xbox subscriptions,
PS5, Steam subscriptions,
52
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:08,432
Netflix, HBO, you want
to order DoorDash.
53
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,217
My nut's about 60 bucks a week.
54
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,223
So you know, as a kid, if
you could do a podcast,
55
00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:14,666
say some really divisive shit,
then you could make your nut.
56
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,967
Well, Clyde, there's
more important things
57
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,530
than a nut, mkay?
58
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:21,444
Like what?
59
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,752
Well, like being nice, mkay,
60
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,715
making people smile,
helping people out.
61
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,409
That's why I became a counselor.
62
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,018
Yes?
63
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:31,981
Mr. Mackey, I need you
to pack your stuff.
64
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,026
You've been fired, bud.
65
00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:34,415
W-What?
66
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,464
Government's doing away with
needless spending in schools.
67
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,506
Get your things. Last
paycheck's up front.
68
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:39,898
What are you talking about?
69
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,122
Hey, wait a minute,
PC Principal.
70
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,525
Power Christian Principle, yes.
71
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,687
I've worked here for 26 years.
72
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,214
We appreciate your
service to this school,
73
00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:49,825
but the government's cutting
back on unnecessary expenses.
74
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,028
Well, what's more important
than a school counselor?
75
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,825
Schools have one counselor now,
76
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,963
and he is the greatest
counselor that ever lived.
77
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,899
Thanks for everything.
Now, pack your shit.
78
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,356
But...
79
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,489
what about my nut?
80
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,509
Hello, and welcome
81
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:24,856
to the "Clyde Donovan Podcast."
82
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,599
Welcome to the Channel
of Truth, guys.
83
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:29,909
You can't trust Jews,
84
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,128
white people are
the underprivileged,
85
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,477
and women belong at home.
86
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,782
I'd like to welcome
our first guest
87
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,389
to the debate, Eric Cartman.
88
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,528
What the hell do you
think you're doing, Clyde?
89
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,051
We're here speaking the
truth about the Jews
90
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:43,401
and the underprivileged
white class...
91
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,532
That's my shtick.
92
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,708
Knock it off, Clyde.
You stole my idea.
93
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:48,145
I don't know about
stealing ideas,
94
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,929
but I do know about some
amazing supplement powders
95
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,452
that are an absolute steal...
-Supplement powders?
96
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:52,975
HE-MAN supplement powders
can really help you
97
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:55,064
bulk up and get...
-Are you fucking serious?
98
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,936
People are sponsoring
you for ripping me off?
99
00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,329
And it's really just the
best way to get ripped quick.
100
00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,543
So be sure to get some.
101
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:02,058
And also, be sure to hashtag
#RespectClydesAuthority.
102
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,459
What?
103
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,599
So after losing
my job, I realized
104
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:11,251
I really better get a handle
on how much I spend a month.
105
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:12,517
Yes, Mr. Mackey.
106
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,996
Looking over your
portfolio here,
107
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,908
it appears you've got about
an $8,000 a month nut.
108
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,346
$8,000 a month?
109
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,961
I had no idea my
nut was that big.
110
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:24,224
Now, we could get you a
debt consolidation loan,
111
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:25,573
cancel your streaming services,
112
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:26,792
downgrade your
phone subscription,
113
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,272
do a second mortgage
on your house,
114
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,574
and your nut's still $8,000...
115
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:32,575
a month.
116
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,100
But I don't have anything, mkay?
117
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,454
I can't find a job.
118
00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,456
Nobody's hiring
counselors anymore.
119
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,888
What am I supposed to do?
120
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:42,804
Well, there are other
career opportunities.
121
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,153
Have you considered...
122
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,155
a job with the I-C-E?
123
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,419
Help your country round up
undocumented immigrants.
124
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:51,334
ICE?
125
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:52,988
I'm a counselor.
126
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,211
I help people.
127
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,121
I would never work for ICE.
128
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,219
I understand you have
to have your principles.
129
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,000
It's just they are
offering new recruits
130
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,128
about a $100,000 salary.
131
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,654
Say... say what now?
132
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:10,440
Are you looking
for a new career?
133
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,573
Why not join the I-C-E?
134
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,361
We have jobs available now
135
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,881
with up to a $50,000
signing bonus.
136
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,579
Signing bonus?
137
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,325
♪ We don't ask for experience ♪
138
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,757
♪ Just show up
139
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:26,630
♪ We don't care if you've
read a book or grown up ♪
140
00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:29,590
♪ If you're crazy
or fat and lazy ♪
141
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,679
♪ We don't care at all ♪
142
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,638
I'm proud to work
for the I-C-E.
143
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:39,343
♪ Immigration and
Customs Enforcement ♪
144
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:40,735
♪ If you need a job
145
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,167
♪ It's a job
146
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,038
♪ To have
147
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:52,530
And now, watch as Clyde
Donovan totally destroys
148
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,310
these woke liberal students.
149
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,098
Welcome to the channel, guys.
150
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,057
Looks like a lot of whiny
babies have a problem
151
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,490
with what I say,
so prove me wrong.
152
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,187
Uh, Hey, Clyde.
153
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,672
Um, you said nothing good
ever came from the Jews.
154
00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:07,762
But if that's true, why
are bagels so yummy?
155
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,064
-Yeah.
-Yeah!
156
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,591
Well, you've obviously
been taught by the Jews
157
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,027
to have a problem with this
school and with America.
158
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,073
So let me ask you this... what
is your definition of a woman?
159
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,156
Wait, now, what?
160
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,085
What is a woman? It's
a very simple question.
161
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,428
Well, a woman is a lady friend
162
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,125
who, you know, gives you kisses.
163
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,257
You see, you can't
answer the question.
164
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,737
But something is
male or it is female.
165
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,260
Both science and
scripture agree to that.
166
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,827
And that's just the truth. Next.
167
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:31,656
Another woke student
totally destroyed.
168
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:32,914
Oh, jeez.
169
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,746
Did you call the
girls' soccer team
170
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,965
a Marxist
indoctrination factory?
171
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,315
That is correct.
172
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,530
We actually beat the
boys 4 to 0, you know.
173
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,319
You can whine about American
oppression all you want,
174
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,016
but you're using an iPhone
made by the free market
175
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,670
to complain about a system
that gave it to you.
176
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,324
Girls have it way
easy in America,
177
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,886
and that's just the truth.
178
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,236
Woke student totally pwned.
179
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,459
Women have it good in America,
180
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:53,582
just like Black people do.
181
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,070
Black people have
everything handed to them...
182
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,153
Motherfucker!
183
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,598
I'm sick of people
stealing my schtick.
184
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,601
If anyone around here is
gonna be a master debater,
185
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:08,432
it's me.
186
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:09,515
So let's go.
187
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,130
Who wants to debate
the master debater?
188
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:11,648
Let's go.
189
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:12,866
You right there.
190
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,395
That's the stupidest
haircut I've ever seen.
191
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,478
You are wrong.
192
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,051
Leviticus 3:17 says it
shall be a perpetual statute
193
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,792
for your generations
throughout all your dwellings.
194
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:21,963
So you can shut up, Bebe.
195
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,071
You just hate America
and you love abortions.
196
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,501
Mr. Mackey?
197
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:39,981
Uh, yes, r-right here.
198
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:45,496
Have a seat, sir.
199
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,817
What makes you want to work
for immigration enforcement?
200
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,165
Uh, well,
201
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,037
you see, I got a nut.
202
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,303
All right, you're hired.
203
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,522
Take this to the next station
204
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,389
for your physical and
orientation video.
205
00:07:58,608 --> 00:07:59,827
Well, th-that's it?
206
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,316
You will now watch
an orientation video
207
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:10,011
featuring the Director
of Homeland Security.
208
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,714
Welcome to the team, recruits.
209
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,282
I'm Kristi Noem, Head
of Homeland Security.
210
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:23,459
Oh, she seems nice,
mkay? Very pretty.
211
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,900
A few years ago, I had
to put my puppy down
212
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,463
by shooting it in the face,
213
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,338
because sometimes
doing what's important
214
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,858
means doing what's hard.
215
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,211
Whoa. Whoa.
216
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,188
Now, we'll ask the same
determination of you.
217
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,134
Because detaining and
questioning people
218
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,348
is never easy.
219
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:47,966
Oh, God!
220
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,663
As the face of
Homeland Security,
221
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:50,791
I'll be leading the way.
222
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,321
And together, we'll make sure
223
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,537
everyone is in this
country legally.
224
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,762
So let's get out there
and get 'em, recruits.
225
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,673
Together, we can make it happen.
226
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,508
We hope you enjoyed
the presentation.
227
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,985
Please step through to the
vehicles for your first raid.
228
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:26,831
Keep your hands and
feet inside the vehicle
229
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:27,914
at all times.
230
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:34,882
Lock and load, recruits!
231
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,184
Prepare to raid!
232
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,360
Mmm-kay.
233
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,588
Watch as Eric
Cartman shuts down
234
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,067
these woke liberal students.
235
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,150
Oh, my God.
236
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,592
What makes you think
you have the right
237
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,029
to say what I do with my body?
238
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:52,192
Let me ask you something.
239
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,162
If a pregnant woman is
killed and the baby dies too,
240
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,077
why is the killer charged
with a double homicide?
241
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,863
Well, b... because people
have different beliefs.
242
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,386
It's not about belief.
It's about truth.
243
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,170
Science confirms life
begins at conception.
244
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,042
So, yes, Jeremiah 1:5
says, before I formed you
245
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:05,125
in the womb, I knew you.
246
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:06,000
But it's just
morality that demands
247
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,345
we protect the most vulnerable.
248
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,519
So let me ask you... when
do you think life begins?
249
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,311
Eric, are you all
right in there?
250
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,399
Yeah, I'm fine, Mom.
251
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:14,762
I'm just in here
master debating.
252
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,229
Well, Eric, that's enough.
253
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:18,796
Let's get out of the bathroom.
254
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:19,879
I can't, Mom.
255
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,625
I'm master debating to
these young college girls.
256
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,105
That's very naughty,
Eric. Stop it.
257
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,933
Mom, I finally got sponsored
by a protein powder,
258
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,936
so I gotta master debate
for a couple more hours.
259
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,908
Leviticus 9:1-8. Leave me alone.
260
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,159
All right, recruits. This is it.
261
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:39,468
We're heading to a location
262
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,423
that might be filled
with illegals.
263
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,686
Let's take these
bad hombres down.
264
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:46,693
Backpack.
265
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:47,821
Backpack.
266
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,432
Backpack. Backpack.
267
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,051
♪ I'm the map, I'm the map ♪
268
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,792
♪ I'm the map, he's the map ♪
269
00:10:58,875 --> 00:10:59,793
♪ He's the map, I'm the map ♪
270
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:00,876
Freeze!
271
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:05,969
Oh, God. Mkay.
272
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,581
We're just here for questioning.
273
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,197
Cooperate, and nothing
bad... holy shit.
274
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,076
Look, I'm really
sorry about this.
275
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:24,684
It's just, I got a
monthly nut, you know?
276
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,555
I gotta make my nut.
277
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,647
You did a good job
in there, soldier.
278
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,958
Mkay. Thank you, Captain.
279
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,786
I know it's tough
doing what's hard,
280
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:38,219
but we could use more
men like you in the...
281
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:40,573
Whoa, what the fuck?
282
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,179
Your Botox, Ms. Noem.
283
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,620
Oh, yeah. Fix me up.
284
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,703
Fix me up.
285
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,752
Another day doing what's tough.
286
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,416
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
287
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:59,897
But a body growing inside a
woman's body is not her body.
288
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,372
It's a completely
separate fetus...
289
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,593
Eric, what are you doing?
290
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,290
I'm sorry, mom.
291
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,202
You told me to go to sleep, but
I started master debating again.
292
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:12,209
This is really getting
to be a problem, Eric.
293
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,214
Mom, you don't understand.
294
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,563
I'm getting really good at this.
295
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,174
I have my arguments
down rock solid.
296
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,828
These young college girls
are totally unprepared,
297
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,134
so I can just destroy them
and also edit out all the ones
298
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,479
that actually argue back well.
299
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:22,963
It just feels so good.
300
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,530
I understand it feels good,
301
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:27,137
but that doesn't mean
you do it all the time.
302
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,660
I'm sorry, Mommy.
303
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,884
Put the computer away
and leave those poor
304
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,451
college girls alone.
305
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,535
OK.
306
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,145
I won't master debate
anymore tonight.
307
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,544
Look, look, you can call
it reproductive rights.
308
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,067
But be honest, if
a baby could speak,
309
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,416
it would fight for
its right to live.
310
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,287
Eric Cartman!
311
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,370
I'm sorry, Mom!
312
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:48,554
Tom, another protest today,
as thousands turned out
313
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:51,078
in downtown Denver to
voice their outrage
314
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:52,597
against the I-C-E.
315
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:54,991
This is just out of control.
316
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,215
A lot of the people being
targeted in these raids
317
00:12:57,298 --> 00:13:00,392
are kind, hard-working,
deeply faithful people
318
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:02,085
who care for their families.
319
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:06,398
I have no doubt that there are
many, many Latinos in heaven.
320
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,585
Oh, this is bad.
321
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:24,890
Mkay?
322
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,298
Remember, only detain
the brown ones.
323
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:38,952
If it's brown, it goes down.
324
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,080
Jesus, look out!
325
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,225
There's another one
flying over here.
326
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:52,396
Catch him! Catch him!
327
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,578
I just need to ask
you some questions,
328
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,272
mkay, make sure you're legal.
329
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,448
How did you get into heaven?
330
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,976
Um, I was really nice to people,
331
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,978
and I helped various charities.
332
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,545
Look, I'm really
sorry about this,
333
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:08,499
but I'm just trying
to make my nut.
334
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,197
Mackey, I need a word.
335
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,026
Yes, Captain?
336
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,249
You did another great
job out there, Mackey.
337
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,507
I like your style.
338
00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,553
Oh. Thank you.
339
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:19,950
The President's
handing out bonuses
340
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,125
to recruits that stand out.
341
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,474
And I'm going to recommend you
342
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,397
for the next set
of bonuses that...
343
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:25,559
Ah!
344
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:27,127
Grab it!
345
00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:32,393
No more brownies in heaven.
346
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,358
Hello and welcome
to the third annual
347
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:40,357
Charlie Kirk Award for
Young Masterdebaters.
348
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,148
More and more young people today
349
00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:45,976
are learning to
fight for America
350
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,495
through masterdebation.
351
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:51,151
We're here to honor the recent
efforts of a brave young man
352
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,461
who has been furiously
master debating
353
00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:55,899
for the past several
days and has won himself
354
00:14:55,982 --> 00:15:00,033
not only this trophy, but also
an all expenses paid vacation
355
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,166
to a beautiful five-star resort.
356
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,733
He has proven himself
the true champion.
357
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:11,088
Please welcome the best
young masterdebater
358
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,608
of our time, Clyde Donovan.
359
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:15,349
Clyde?
360
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,794
No! That's my trip to
a five-star resort!
361
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,357
Come on, Eric. Let's go.
362
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:25,706
Thanks, everyone.
363
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,974
The Civil Rights Act
was a huge mistake.
364
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,847
And, I don't know, lesbians
are an abomination of God.
365
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,671
You all stole my schtick!
366
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:35,891
Clyde!
367
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,116
OK.
368
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:44,948
We got some of
your pay stubs in.
369
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,771
Let's see how that
nut's looking.
370
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,476
Well, seems you got some bonuses
371
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,130
for rounding up
the most Mexicans.
372
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:54,388
Shh.
373
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,868
We don't round up Mexicans, OK?
374
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,959
We just detain foreigners
who might be illegal.
375
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,046
OK.
376
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,705
Well, after taxes and
with your bonuses,
377
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:06,487
it looks like you've got about
$10 grand a month to spend.
378
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,059
-Oh, I do?
-Yes.
379
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,666
And your nut's up to
about $12 grand a month.
380
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,015
What?
381
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,496
But my nut was only
$8 grand a week ago.
382
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,802
Right. But you got
a good-paying job.
383
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,460
You see, as you make more money,
384
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,545
your nut actually gets bigger.
385
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:23,508
How is that possible?
386
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,591
It's all right.
387
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:25,945
If you can just get
a few more bonuses,
388
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,686
we can refinance the
house, divide that
389
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,731
by the number of Mexicans
you detained, and, of course,
390
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,212
compound any Costa Ricans
you might incur to the...
391
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,531
Freeze! ICE AGENT
2: Nobody move!
392
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,606
Here he is over here.
393
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,261
Come on, Mackey. Need
to talk to you outside.
394
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,263
Talk to me? About what?
395
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,439
What's this all about?
396
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,358
Congratulations, recruit.
397
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,708
I talked to the president
about your accomplishments,
398
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,880
and he says he wants to
help you with your nut.
399
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,100
Really? He does?
400
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,105
That's right.
401
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,150
We have orders to
get you on a plane.
402
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,235
The President wants to
thank you personally.
403
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,758
Congratulations.
404
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,934
He's invited you to Mar-a-Iago.
405
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,285
Mar-a-Iago?
406
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:21,996
Oh, wow.
407
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,708
Relax! Take a load off!
408
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:39,410
Boss, the plane is here
409
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,756
from Immigration and
Customs Enforcement.
410
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,192
I know, stupid. Let's go.
411
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:56,905
Hey, buddy.
412
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,816
Welcome to Mar-a-Iago.
413
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:01,993
Oh, thank you, Mr. President.
414
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,213
What is his fantasy, boss?
415
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,172
Will you get out of here?
416
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,353
Listen, buddy, I
want to offer you
417
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:10,828
an incredible opportunity.
418
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:12,530
How would you like
to make more money
419
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,267
than you ever thought possible?
420
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,618
Well, I do have a
pretty huge nut.
421
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,533
Now, that's the
kind of talk I like.
422
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,839
Mar-a-Iago's for everyone
that's got a nut.
423
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,800
I'm giving you a promotion.
424
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,108
You'll have access to all
that Mar-a-Iago has to offer.
425
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:32,502
I want to make you the new
face of Homeland Security.
426
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,640
But, Mr. President,
I thought Kristi Noem
427
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:37,337
was the head of
Homeland Security.
428
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,644
Well, she was, but her
face freaks me out.
429
00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:40,771
So what do you say?
430
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:44,083
Well, I do need a
high-paying job.
431
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,258
Excellent.
432
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,082
Now, let's take care
of that nut for you.
433
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,781
Hey, Satan.
434
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,783
Meet the new face of
Homeland Security.
435
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:54,920
Whoa! Oh, my God.
436
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,008
I just want to go.
437
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:57,314
This place is gross.
438
00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:59,229
Would you like me to
apply the baby oil
439
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,096
to Satan's asshole, boss?
440
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,447
OK, look, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.
441
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:07,189
I'm going to take a
little break here.
442
00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:08,586
Hey, come on.
443
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:09,800
Relax, guy.
444
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,025
Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
445
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,295
Backpack, backpack.
446
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:23,818
Oh, God, Dora the Explorer.
447
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:24,901
Excuse me.
448
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,302
Clyde?
449
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:35,395
Not right now, sir.
450
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:36,479
I've kind of had enough.
451
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:41,136
What are you doing
here... young man?
452
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,051
Just trying to make my nut, sir.
453
00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:44,574
Didn't really want all this.
454
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,188
Oh, well, young man...
455
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,936
I kind of know what you're
going through, mkay?
456
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,770
I know we all have
a lot of pressures
457
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:06,292
and we all want nice
things, mkay, but...
458
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:10,209
but if you're doing something
you don't really believe in
459
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,428
just to make your nut,
460
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:16,084
you're going to find
that you just get sadder
461
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:18,391
and your nut just gets bigger.
462
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,261
Mkay?
463
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:22,656
Yeah.
464
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,265
I guess you're right.
465
00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:28,227
But... who are you?
466
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:35,499
I'm a goddamn counselor.
467
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:36,757
That's what I am.
468
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,586
This place isn't right
for either of us.
469
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:42,197
There's got to be someone
that can help get us out.
470
00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:57,081
All right. Got him.
471
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,259
Hey, Kristi, what's going on?
472
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,047
Trying to replace me
473
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,219
as the face of
Homeland Security, huh?
474
00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:06,090
Hey, relax, guy.
475
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,092
Who could replace
a face like that?
476
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,968
Think I can't handle
myself 'cause I'm a lady
477
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:12,183
with good looks
that drive men wild?
478
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,289
Come on. We're
getting out of here.
479
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,334
You too, come on.
480
00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:36,904
We got it. We got it.
481
00:21:41,691 --> 00:21:43,345
Another job well done.
482
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:48,611
♪ Loo loo loo, loo
loo loo loo loo ♪
483
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:51,745
♪ Loo loo loo, loo loo loo ♪34854
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