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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:02,915 ♪ MTV 2 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,230 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 3 00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,406 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 4 00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,017 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 5 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,714 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 6 00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:19,932 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 7 00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,673 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind 8 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,675 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 9 00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,373 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 10 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,548 - ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪ 11 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,332 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 12 00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,250 - ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪ 13 00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:34,860 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 14 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,399 He's gone too far this time, dude. 15 00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,792 The stuff he's saying about Jews is out of control. 16 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,316 Bro, you just got to ignore him. 17 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,708 Bro, it's pretty hard to ignore him 18 00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,362 when he's saying it all on a podcast. 19 00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,843 He actually said that all women are whores, 20 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:03,280 and the only thing we're good at is murdering babies. 21 00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,716 Look, guys, just leave it alone. 22 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,066 Don't give him any more attention. 23 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,719 That's easy for you to say, dude. 24 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,547 Yeah, you are one of the multitudes of groups 25 00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,506 he's spewing his stupid shit about. 26 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:12,507 Hey, guys. 27 00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:13,812 Who are you talking about? 28 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:14,509 both: Clyde. 29 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:15,901 Clyde? 30 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,252 Yeah, and his stupid debating podcast. 31 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:19,514 Hey, here he comes. 32 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:21,994 Whatever, guys. 33 00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:23,909 Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong. 34 00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:26,434 You don't know a thing about the Jewish people. 35 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,653 Yeah, and shut up about girls' bodies. 36 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:31,352 Well, that sounds like a very female and Jew thing to say. 37 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:32,353 If you guys don't like it, 38 00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:34,181 why don't you come debate me on my podcast? 39 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,966 We're not indulging your stupid podcast. 40 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:38,402 Yeah, screw you, fat ass. 41 00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:41,797 Wha-- what? 42 00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:45,017 Now, as your counselor, 43 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,976 I want to try and understand why you're doing 44 00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,804 all these bad things you're doing. 45 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:52,634 The other students are very upset at this podcast. 46 00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,592 And what makes you think you got to say 47 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:55,898 all this stuff, Clyde? 48 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,205 Hey, I'm just trying to make my nut, man. 49 00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:01,643 Y-your nut? 50 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,427 Yeah, you know, kids have it tough these days. 51 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:06,256 We got Xbox subscriptions, PS5, Steam subscriptions, 52 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,432 Netflix, HBO, you want to order DoorDash. 53 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,217 My nut's about 60 bucks a week. 54 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,306 So you know, as a kid, if you could do a podcast, 55 00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:14,395 say some really divisive shit, then you could make your nut. 56 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,050 Well, Clyde, there's more important things 57 00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:19,530 than a nut, mkay? 58 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:21,097 Like what? 59 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,752 Well, like being nice, mkay, 60 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,798 making people smile, helping people out. 61 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:28,409 That's why I became a counselor. 62 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:29,671 Yes? 63 00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,064 Mr. Mackey, I need you to pack your stuff. 64 00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,109 You've been fired, bud. 65 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,415 W-what? 66 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,547 Government's doing away with needless spending in schools. 67 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,506 Get your things. Last paycheck's up front. 68 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:39,898 What are you talking about? 69 00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,205 Hey, wait a minute, PC Principal. 70 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,467 Power Christian Principle, yes. 71 00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,687 I've worked here for 26 years. 72 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,297 We appreciate your service to this school, 73 00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,908 but the government's cutting back on unnecessary expenses. 74 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,997 Well, what's more important than a school counselor? 75 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,825 Schools have one counselor now, 76 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,914 and he is the greatest counselor that ever lived. 77 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,655 Thanks for everything. Now, pack your shit. 78 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:02,834 But... 79 00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,489 what about my nut? 80 00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,592 ANNOUNCER: Hello, and welcome 81 00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:24,856 to the "Clyde Donovan Podcast." 82 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,599 Welcome to the Channel of Truth, guys. 83 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:29,992 You can't trust Jews, 84 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,211 white people are the underprivileged, 85 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,560 and women belong at home. 86 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:33,865 I'd like to welcome our first guest 87 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,389 to the debate, Eric Cartman. 88 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,437 What the hell do you think you're doing, Clyde? 89 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,134 We're here speaking the truth about the Jews 90 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,484 and the underprivileged white class-- 91 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:44,615 That's my shtick. 92 00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,791 Knock it off, Clyde. You stole my idea. 93 00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,140 I don't know about stealing ideas, 94 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,012 but I do know about some amazing supplement powders 95 00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,535 - that are an absolute steal-- - Supplement powders? 96 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,058 HE-MAN supplement powders can really help you 97 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,147 - bulk up and get-- - Are you fucking serious? 98 00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,019 People are sponsoring you for ripping me off? 99 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,412 And it's really just the best way to get ripped quick. 100 00:03:58,455 --> 00:03:59,543 So be sure to get some. 101 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,197 And also, be sure to hashtag #RespectClydesAuthority. 102 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,068 What? 103 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,682 So after losing my job, I realized 104 00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:11,251 I really better get a handle on how much I spend a month. 105 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:12,600 Yes, Mr. Mackey. 106 00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:14,079 Looking over your portfolio here, 107 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,908 it appears you've got about an $8,000 a month nut. 108 00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,346 $8,000 a month? 109 00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:22,044 I had no idea my nut was that big. 110 00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:24,307 Now, we could get you a debt consolidation loan, 111 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,656 cancel your streaming services, 112 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,875 downgrade your phone subscription, 113 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,355 do a second mortgage on your house, 114 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,574 and your nut's still $8,000-- 115 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:32,141 a month. 116 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,100 But I don't have anything, mkay? 117 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,537 I can't find a job. 118 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,539 Nobody's hiring counselors anymore. 119 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:39,888 What am I supposed to do? 120 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:42,804 Well, there are other career opportunities. 121 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,153 Have you considered... 122 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,155 a job with the I-C-E? 123 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,419 Help your country round up undocumented immigrants. 124 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:51,334 ICE? 125 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:52,988 I'm a counselor. 126 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,294 I help people. 127 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:56,121 I would never work for ICE. 128 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,080 I understand you have to have your principles. 129 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,083 It's just they are offering new recruits 130 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,128 about a $100,000 salary. 131 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,654 Say--say what now? 132 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,440 Are you looking for a new career? 133 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,573 Why not join the I-C-E? 134 00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,444 We have jobs available now 135 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,881 with up to a $50,000 signing bonus. 136 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,579 Signing bonus? 137 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,408 - ♪ We don't ask for experience ♪ 138 00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:22,757 ♪ Just show up 139 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:26,630 ♪ We don't care if you've read a book or grown up ♪ 140 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:29,590 ♪ If you're crazy or fat and lazy ♪ 141 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,679 ♪ We don't care at all ♪ 142 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,638 I'm proud to work for the I-C-E. 143 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:39,426 - ♪ Immigration and Customs Enforcement ♪ 144 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,818 ♪ If you need a job 145 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,167 ♪ It's a job 146 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:43,778 ♪ To have 147 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:52,613 And now, watch as Clyde Donovan totally destroys 148 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,310 these woke liberal students. 149 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,181 Welcome to the channel, guys. 150 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,140 Looks like a lot of whiny babies have a problem 151 00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,490 with what I say, so prove me wrong. 152 00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,187 Uh, Hey, Clyde. 153 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,755 Um, you said nothing good ever came from the Jews. 154 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:07,845 But if that's true, why are bagels so yummy? 155 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,064 - Yeah. - Yeah! 156 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,500 Well, you've obviously been taught by the Jews 157 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,110 to have a problem with this school and with America. 158 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:14,156 So let me ask you this-- what is your definition of a woman? 159 00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,113 Wait, now, what? 160 00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,986 What is a woman? It's a very simple question. 161 00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,511 Well, a woman is a lady friend 162 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,208 who, you know, gives you kisses. 163 00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:24,340 You see, you can't answer the question. 164 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,820 But something is male or it is female. 165 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,343 Both science and scripture agree to that. 166 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,910 And that's just the truth. Next. 167 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:31,739 Another woke student totally destroyed. 168 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:32,914 Oh, jeez. 169 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,829 Did you call the girls' soccer team 170 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,048 a Marxist indoctrination factory? 171 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,398 That is correct. 172 00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,530 We actually beat the boys 4 to 0, you know. 173 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,402 You can whine about American oppression all you want, 174 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,099 but you're using an iPhone made by the free market 175 00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:45,753 to complain about a system that gave it to you. 176 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:47,407 Girls have it way easy in America, 177 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,886 and that's just the truth. 178 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,236 ANNOUNCER: Woke student totally pwned. 179 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,542 Women have it good in America, 180 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:53,500 just like Black people do. 181 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,153 Black people have everything handed to them-- 182 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:55,980 Motherfucker! 183 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,598 I'm sick of people stealing my schtick. 184 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,601 If anyone around here is gonna be a master debater, 185 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:08,515 it's me. 186 00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:09,472 So let's go. 187 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,213 Who wants to debate the master debater? 188 00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:11,648 Let's go. 189 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:12,344 You right there. 190 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,478 That's the stupidest haircut I've ever seen. 191 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:16,218 You are wrong. 192 00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,134 Leviticus 3:17 says it shall be a perpetual statute 193 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,875 for your generations throughout all your dwellings. 194 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:21,963 So you can shut up, Bebe. 195 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,573 You just hate America and you love abortions. 196 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,501 Mr. Mackey? 197 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:39,981 Uh, yes, r-right here. 198 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:45,247 Have a seat, sir. 199 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,817 What makes you want to work for immigration enforcement? 200 00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:50,818 Uh, well, 201 00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,037 you see, I got a nut. 202 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,386 All right, you're hired. 203 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:55,475 Take this to the next station 204 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,389 for your physical and orientation video. 205 00:07:58,608 --> 00:07:59,827 Well, th-that's it? 206 00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,399 You will now watch an orientation video 207 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:10,011 featuring the Director of Homeland Security. 208 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,886 209 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,714 Welcome to the team, recruits. 210 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,282 I'm Kristi Noem, Head of Homeland Security. 211 00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:23,459 Oh, she seems nice, mkay? Very pretty. 212 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,983 A few years ago, I had to put my puppy down 213 00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,463 by shooting it in the face, 214 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,421 because sometimes doing what's important 215 00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:30,858 means doing what's hard. 216 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,211 Whoa. Whoa. 217 00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,561 Now, we'll ask the same determination of you. 218 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,217 Because detaining and questioning people 219 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,348 is never easy. 220 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,049 Oh, God! 221 00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,746 As the face of Homeland Security, 222 00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:50,791 I'll be leading the way. 223 00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,404 And together, we'll make sure 224 00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,537 everyone is in this country legally. 225 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,845 So let's get out there and get 'em, recruits. 226 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,673 Together, we can make it happen. 227 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,591 We hope you enjoyed the presentation. 228 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,985 Please step through to the vehicles for your first raid. 229 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:26,914 Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle 230 00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:27,784 at all times. 231 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:34,965 Lock and load, recruits! 232 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,184 Prepare to raid! 233 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:38,969 Mmm-kay. 234 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,671 Watch as Eric Cartman shuts down 235 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,150 these woke liberal students. 236 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,064 Oh, my God. 237 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,675 What makes you think you have the right 238 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:51,112 to say what I do with my body? 239 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,026 Let me ask you something. 240 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,245 If a pregnant woman is killed and the baby dies too, 241 00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:56,160 why is the killer charged with a double homicide? 242 00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,946 Well, b--because people have different beliefs. 243 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,469 It's not about belief. It's about truth. 244 00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,253 Science confirms life begins at conception. 245 00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:04,125 So, yes, Jeremiah 1:5 says, before I formed you 246 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:04,865 in the womb, I knew you. 247 00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:06,083 But it's just morality that demands 248 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,345 we protect the most vulnerable. 249 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,347 So let me ask you-- when do you think life begins? 250 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,394 Eric, are you all right in there? 251 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:13,177 Yeah, I'm fine, Mom. 252 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:14,614 I'm just in here master debating. 253 00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,312 Well, Eric, that's enough. 254 00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:18,879 Let's get out of the bathroom. 255 00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:19,662 I can't, Mom. 256 00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,446 I'm master debating to these young college girls. 257 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,188 That's very naughty, Eric. Stop it. 258 00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:26,016 Mom, I finally got sponsored by a protein powder, 259 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,888 so I gotta master debate for a couple more hours. 260 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,803 Leviticus 9:1-8. Leave me alone. 261 00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,159 - All right, recruits. This is it. 262 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:39,551 We're heading to a location 263 00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,423 that might be filled with illegals. 264 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,686 Let's take these bad hombres down. 265 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:46,776 Backpack. 266 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:47,821 Backpack. 267 00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,432 Backpack. Backpack. 268 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,134 ♪ I'm the map, I'm the map ♪ 269 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,875 ♪ I'm the map, he's the map ♪ 270 00:10:58,919 --> 00:10:59,876 ♪ He's the map, I'm the map ♪ 271 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:00,616 Freeze! 272 00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:05,969 Oh, God. Mkay. 273 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:09,581 We're just here for questioning. 274 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,280 Cooperate, and nothing bad-- holy shit. 275 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,159 Look, I'm really sorry about this. 276 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,684 It's just, I got a monthly nut, you know? 277 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,555 I gotta make my nut. 278 00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,647 You did a good job in there, soldier. 279 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,041 Mkay. Thank you, Captain. 280 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,869 I know it's tough doing what's hard, 281 00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,219 but we could use more men like you in the-- 282 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:40,656 Whoa, what the fuck? 283 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,179 Your Botox, Ms. Noem. 284 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,703 Oh, yeah. Fix me up. 285 00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:44,529 Fix me up. 286 00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,752 Another day doing what's tough. 287 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,499 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 288 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,980 But a body growing inside a woman's body is not her body. 289 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,372 It's a completely separate fetus-- 290 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,593 Eric, what are you doing? 291 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,290 I'm sorry, mom. 292 00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,076 You told me to go to sleep, but I started masterdebating again. 293 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:12,209 This is really getting to be a problem, Eric. 294 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,297 Mom, you don't understand. 295 00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,646 I'm getting really good at this. 296 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,257 I have my arguments down rock solid. 297 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,911 These young college girls are totally unprepared, 298 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:20,217 so I can just destroy them and also edit out all the ones 299 00:12:20,261 --> 00:12:21,479 that actually argue back well. 300 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,046 It just feels so good. 301 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,613 I understand it feels good, 302 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:27,137 but that doesn't mean you do it all the time. 303 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,660 I'm sorry, Mommy. 304 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,967 Put the computer away and leave those poor 305 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,534 college girls alone. 306 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:33,535 OK. 307 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,145 I won't master debate anymore tonight. 308 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,627 Look, look, you can call it reproductive rights. 309 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,063 But be honest, if a baby could speak, 310 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,325 it would fight for its right to live. 311 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,370 Eric Cartman! 312 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:42,849 I'm sorry, Mom! 313 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:48,637 Tom, another protest today, as thousands turned out 314 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,161 in downtown Denver to voice their outrage 315 00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,597 against the I-C-E. 316 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:54,991 This is just out of control. 317 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,298 A lot of the people being targeted in these raids 318 00:12:57,341 --> 00:13:00,475 are kind, hard-working, deeply faithful people 319 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,085 who care for their families. 320 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:06,481 I have no doubt that there are many, many Latinos in heaven. 321 00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:13,618 ♪ ♪ 322 00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,585 Oh, this is bad. 323 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:24,455 Mkay? 324 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,381 Remember, only detain the brown ones. 325 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,035 If it's brown, it goes down. 326 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:40,080 Jesus, look out! 327 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,308 There's another one flying over here. 328 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:52,396 Catch him! Catch him! 329 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,661 I just need to ask you some questions, 330 00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:58,272 mkay, make sure you're legal. 331 00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,448 How did you get into heaven? 332 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:03,059 Um, I was really nice to people, 333 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,061 and I helped various charities. 334 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:06,628 Look, I'm really sorry about this, 335 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,499 but I'm just trying to make my nut. 336 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,197 Mackey, I need a word. 337 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,026 Yes, Captain? 338 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,332 You did another great job out there, Mackey. 339 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,507 I like your style. 340 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,553 Oh. Thank you. 341 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,033 The President's handing out bonuses 342 00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,208 to recruits that stand out. 343 00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:22,557 And I'm going to recommend you 344 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,079 for the next set of bonuses that-- 345 00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:24,951 Ah! 346 00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:27,127 Grab it! 347 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:32,393 No more brownies in heaven. 348 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,441 Hello and welcome to the third annual 349 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:40,357 Charlie Kirk Award for Young Masterdebaters. 350 00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,231 More and more young people today 351 00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:46,059 are learning to fight for America 352 00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,495 through masterdebation. 353 00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:51,151 We're here to honor the recent efforts of a brave young man 354 00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,544 who has been furiously masterdebating 355 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,982 for the past several days and has won himself 356 00:14:56,025 --> 00:15:00,116 not only this trophy, but also an all expenses paid vacation 357 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,249 to a beautiful five-star resort. 358 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,733 He has proven himself the true champion. 359 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:11,171 Please welcome the best young masterdebater 360 00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,608 of our time, Clyde Donovan. 361 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:15,349 Clyde? 362 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,877 No! That's my trip to a five-star resort! 363 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,357 Come on, Eric. Let's go. 364 00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:25,533 Thanks, everyone. 365 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,057 The Civil Rights Act was a huge mistake. 366 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,930 And, I don't know, lesbians are an abomination of God. 367 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,671 You all stole my schtick! 368 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:35,891 Clyde! 369 00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,116 OK. 370 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,031 We got some of your pay stubs in. 371 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,771 Let's see how that nut's looking. 372 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,559 Well, seems you got some bonuses 373 00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,213 for rounding up the most Mexicans. 374 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,388 Shh. 375 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,868 We don't round up Mexicans, OK? 376 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,959 We just detain foreigners who might be illegal. 377 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:00,655 OK. 378 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,788 Well, after taxes and with your bonuses, 379 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:06,487 it looks like you've got about $10 grand a month to spend. 380 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,142 - Oh, I do? - Yes. 381 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:11,666 And your nut's up to about $12 grand a month. 382 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,015 What? 383 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,496 But my nut was only $8 grand a week ago. 384 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,802 Right. But you got a good-paying job. 385 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,543 You see, as you make more money, 386 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,545 your nut actually gets bigger. 387 00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:23,591 How is that possible? 388 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:24,331 It's all right. 389 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:25,810 If you can just get a few more bonuses, 390 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,769 we can refinance the house, divide that 391 00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,814 by the number of Mexicans you detained, and, of course, 392 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,295 compound any Costa Ricans you might incur to the-- 393 00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:34,994 -Freeze! -Nobody move! 394 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,606 Here he is over here. 395 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,261 Come on, Mackey. Need to talk to you outside. 396 00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,263 Talk to me? About what? 397 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,439 What's this all about? 398 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,441 Congratulations, recruit. 399 00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:49,791 I talked to the president about your accomplishments, 400 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,880 and he says he wants to help you with your nut. 401 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,100 Really? He does? 402 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:55,188 That's right. 403 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,233 We have orders to get you on a plane. 404 00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:59,235 The President wants to thank you personally. 405 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,758 Congratulations. 406 00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:02,934 He's invited you to Mar-a-Lago. 407 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,285 Mar-a-Lago? 408 00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:12,727 ♪ ♪ 409 00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:21,823 Oh, wow. 410 00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:29,396 411 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,708 Relax! Take a load off! 412 00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:39,493 Boss, the plane is here 413 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,756 from Immigration and Customs Enforcement. 414 00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,192 I know, stupid. Let's go. 415 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:56,988 Hey, buddy. 416 00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,816 Welcome to Mar-a-Lago. 417 00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:01,993 Oh, thank you, Mr. President. 418 00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,213 What is his fantasy, boss? 419 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,172 Will you get out of here? 420 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,436 Listen, buddy, I want to offer you 421 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:10,828 an incredible opportunity. 422 00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:12,613 How would you like to make more money 423 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,267 than you ever thought possible? 424 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,618 Well, I do have a pretty huge nut. 425 00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,533 Now, that's the kind of talk I like. 426 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,839 Mar-a-Lago's for everyone that's got a nut. 427 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,800 I'm giving you a promotion. 428 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,108 You'll have access to all that Mar-a-Lago has to offer. 429 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:32,502 I want to make you the new face of Homeland Security. 430 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,723 But, Mr. President, I thought Kristi Noem 431 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,420 was the head of Homeland Security. 432 00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:39,727 Well, she was, but her face freaks me out. 433 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:40,771 So what do you say? 434 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:44,166 Well, I do need a high-paying job. 435 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,341 Excellent. 436 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,082 Now, let's take care of that nut for you. 437 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,781 Hey, Satan. 438 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,783 Meet the new face of Homeland Security. 439 00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:55,003 Whoa! Oh, my God. 440 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,091 I just want to go. 441 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,397 This place is gross. 442 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,312 Would you like me to apply the baby oil 443 00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,096 to Satan's asshole, boss? 444 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,447 OK, look, I think there's been a misunderstanding. 445 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:07,189 I'm going to take a little break here. 446 00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:08,669 Hey, come on. 447 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:09,800 Relax, guy. 448 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,025 Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. 449 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,378 Backpack, backpack. 450 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,901 Oh, God, Dora the Explorer. 451 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:24,772 Excuse me. 452 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,302 Clyde? 453 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:35,478 Not right now, sir. 454 00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:36,479 I've kind of had enough. 455 00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:41,136 What are you doing here... young man? 456 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,051 Just trying to make my nut, sir. 457 00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:44,574 Didn't really want all this. 458 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,188 Oh, well, young man... 459 00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:56,325 460 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:58,936 I kind of know what you're going through, mkay? 461 00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,853 I know we all have a lot of pressures 462 00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:06,292 and we all want nice things, mkay, but-- 463 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:10,209 but if you're doing something you don't really believe in 464 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,428 just to make your nut, 465 00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:16,084 you're going to find that you just get sadder 466 00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:18,391 and your nut just gets bigger. 467 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:19,914 Mkay? 468 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:22,656 Yeah. 469 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,179 I guess you're right. 470 00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:28,227 But...who are you? 471 00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:35,582 I'm a goddamn counselor. 472 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:36,757 That's what I am. 473 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,586 This place isn't right for either of us. 474 00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:42,197 There's got to be someone that can help get us out. 475 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:51,815 ♪ ♪ 476 00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:57,081 All right. Got him. 477 00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,259 Hey, Kristi, what's going on? 478 00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,130 Trying to replace me 479 00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:04,219 as the face of Homeland Security, huh? 480 00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:06,090 Hey, relax, guy. 481 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,092 Who could replace a face like that? 482 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,051 Think I can't handle myself 'cause I'm a lady 483 00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:12,183 with good looks that drive men wild? 484 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,289 Come on. We're getting out of here. 485 00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,334 You too, come on. 486 00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:36,904 We got it. We got it. 487 00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:43,345 Another job well done. 488 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:48,611 ♪ Loo loo loo, loo loo loo loo loo ♪ 489 00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:51,745 ♪ Loo loo loo, loo loo loo ♪ 490 00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:11,417 ♪ ♪ 35458

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