Original subtitles

Telephone

Calling me

Who put all that shit in your head?

Saying things

Telling things

'Till you break

Filthy water

Bubbles up

Who put all that shit in your head?

Well, aren't we a fucking embarrassment, huh?

For those of you keeping score, last night Gudsen shook our tail,

lost our tracker and set not one, not two, but six fucking fires.

And thanks to these chucklefucks, we don't got him in cuffs.

Hell, we don't even know where he is.

The tracker fell off.

Excuse me. So it wasn't your fault. Okay.

Unless...

Unless you put it in a stupid spot.

Did you put it in a stupid spot?

Undercarriage, behind the back wheel.

Swing and a miss!

- Niles, Wentley, you ever blow a tail? - No, sir.

Get your asses up here. Gentlemen, take a gift bag on your way out.

Get the fuck out of here.

So the chief, he wakes up,

he has three hard-boiled eggs, he goes for a swim.

So he will hear about our raging ineptitude in two hours.

Five minutes after that he will call me and tell me we are being replaced.

I can hold him off for a day,

but unless we have Gudsen nailed by then,

then our big fat collective ass is grass.

- 10-4? - 10-4.

Calderone, you got the fires on the board?

Yeah.

Look at this. This motherfucker, smiling at us.

Maybe you shouldn't have sucker-punched him, huh?

- Don't be fucking cute, okay? - Hit me, sweetie. Come on.

Go ahead, hit me. I could use the money. Come on.

Wait, Ashley's house.

Look, it's right there.

Patrol units are on the premises.

No sign of him there or at his hotel.

Well, add a unit to both. Come on.

Where did you go, Dave?

Hey, honey. I'm not sure I can meet for lunch.

Just something came up at work, and I...

No.

Coffee later, that sounds... stupendous.

Yeah.

No. Fine. I just... Been a long week.

It'll be fun.

You can help your dad move in, check out the town.

How long?

A week. Maybe more.

I have school.

I'll set up independent study with your teachers.

Didn't that rich kid just skip a week to go to Italy?

Calvin, yeah.

Yeah, so it's like that.

But instead of pizza in Rome, you'll be eating Domino's in Montana.

But why tonight? Can't I just go Saturday?

Your dad got a deal on tickets.

You don't believe me.

Who cares if I do? It doesn't matter.

Dave is... like you said,

he's a two-faced dick.

And right now he's angry.

So until he cools down, I'd rather you stay with your dad.

I'm not leaving.

- Emmett. - Let me be here for you, please.

Okay.

We've got an APB out for Gudsen's rental and a warrant out to track his phone,

but I'm not feeling lucky.

Units one and two, you're grid-searching fire scenes.

The rest, you're playing Where's Waldo in a 25-mile radius.

Hello.

- I found Dave. - We got him!

What's his location?

The office.

The office? What's he doing?

It...

looks like he's doing his job.

Hey, Dave.

Hey. I'm back.

Where are you?

All hands with my precinct.

The COMPSTAT's coming up.

Well, get your ass over here. We've got a long day of work.

- Why? - Why's that?

Six fires set last night.

A few alleys, some dry brush and a storefront.

- You think it's D and C? - I know it is.

- I'll see you in ten. - Bye.

- I need a wire. - Gudsen might check for it.

Yeah, and he's not gonna find it.

Hey, Anthony. You've got the eye on the firefucker, okay?

If he breathes wrong, I want a bullet in his cerebellum.

Yes, sir.

- Okay, sorry about this. - Hey, what are you doing?

Yo, dude, what the fuck?

What is this?

This is a button mic, wireless and discreet,

with audio cleaner than a Quaker's piss.

High frequency transmission?

What do you think, sugar lips?

He knows, you know, okay?

So you gotta poke the bear, but don't let him bite.

Is that all?

I mean, look, if you're not up for this,

then I can get you a different gig in a tanning salon...

- Wow. - ...or a perfume counter maybe.

- How about that? - Wow.

Fragrance gives me a fucking headache.

Hey, you.

Don't shoot him in the dick, okay?

Yo, yo.

Six fires, huh?

One for the road?

I'm good, thanks.

Are you mad at me?

No, why?

You seem a little...

I don't know...

off.

I read your book.

You didn't like it.

The partner, she was a little interesting.

It's not, you, you.

- It's a character. - Uh-huh.

Based on your, you know...

physical attributes.

I see.

Yeah, what was it? Chapter 13.

Your character fucks my character in the back of a police cruiser.

You prefer the front?

You want to fuck me, Dave?

Well...

You've got a tight ass, and you're packing heat.

Of course I've thought about it, but...

No.

I don't shit where I eat.

That's your thing.

Don't be a prude. You're screwing your boss, so what?

I'm not screwing my boss.

Sorry, you were screwing your boss.

Let me guess, you put out for a promotion,

and now you want him to forget anything ever happened.

Right?

Things are a little more complicated than that, Dave.

No, they're not. It's a transaction.

You go and buy a sub right now,

you and the guy who made it don't get simultaneous amnesia.

Calling me a whore?

I'm saying a guy remembers making a sandwich.

Shall we?

We shall.

Rotten fuel lines on the vehicle.

Electrical looks pretty janky.

Could be accidental.

- Nah, I don't think so. - No?

And there's no sign of a device anywhere.

That's because it's not in the garage.

Here's your point of origin.

No way.

You gotta be kidding me. You're not gonna believe this.

All that's left is the coin.

No cigarette.

No, that bastard switched to filterless.

They burn all the way down.

No filter, no DNA.

He's evolving.

All right. I appreciate it.

All right, rental manager said we can break in

as long as we don't damage the car.

What, me? Come on.

What I do is the mechanical equivalent of a high-priced Swedish massage.

A magnetic tracker would be faster.

I know. But hard-wired has a much longer battery life.

Plus it's a bitch to remove.

You do this a lot?

Well, I've had to acquire a few hobbies since my forced retirement.

Yeah, I heard about that.

You walk pretty well for someone who almost shot off his own foot.

Oh, yeah. Look at me.

Living the dream.

Life's a joke, and you're the punch line, huh?

Not a joke. Uh-uh.

A direct quote.

Dave stopped by the hospital

right after the doctors "Frankenstein-ed" my foot back together again,

and the first words out of his mouth were, "Look at you. Living the dream."

Kicks people when they're down. What a catch.

Oh, yeah. Guy's a real fucking pip.

Yeah, he ain't gonna lose this

driving over a curb.

What's that do?

What, this?

Nonessential.

Basically, a vehicular appendix, if you will.

And how about you? You got any hobbies?

Books, food. You know.

Oh, yeah? Yo, I got a spot. You like Italian?

No.

Oh, yeah. Me neither.

Highly overrated cuisine, if you ask me.

If we catch him, it's gonna be hell to prosecute.

I bet, yeah.

I mean, say we knew the guy.

Name, address, hand to Bible, this is our perp.

What's gonna tie him to the arsons?

We've got no fingerprints, no DNA,

no motive beyond a love of setting shit on fire.

I'm not worried, though.

Why not?

'Cause we've got Dave motherfucking Gudsen on the case, okay?

Damn straight!

Yeah. Hell yeah.

Man, you should've been a detective. You'd be a rock star.

Not my thing.

No? Then why'd you apply to be a cop?

I didn't.

A David Gudsen with your exact birthday applied to be a cop in 2002.

Passed the physical exam, the written exam with flying colors.

Failed the psych eval.

Analyst really screwed you over, man.

They said you had a propensity for violence.

You think I'm violent?

I mean, define "violent." Okay?

What... the... There's kicking the shit out of an armed terrorist, that's...

Then there's kicking a little dog.

Dogs piss, growl, bite. They're not innocent.

Yeah. Are you innocent?

I'm guilty just like everyone else.

So are you.

Oh, yeah? What's that supposed to mean?

Your whole narrative.

Poor little Black girl with a rough history.

- That story ended. - Wow.

Now you're just a cop with a pretty face and a 401(k).

You're no victim.

You trying to tell me you don't hurt people?

I don't burn dogs alive.

Good morning.

Morning.

There's not much to see here.

Fire started around 0500.

Truck responded a few minutes later.

You wanna speak to the witness?

There's a witness?

Lady in apartment 4C. I just made contact.

Target is entering residence at 1401 North Cherry.

We have a witness.

So, you saw the individual who set the fire?

Around 5:00 a.m. I was getting ready for work.

What kind of work?

- I'm a paralegal. - What did this individual look like?

White male.

Short brown hair.

What did he do?

He threw something out his car window.

It caught fire a few minutes later.

Something?

Like a cigarette, but bigger.

Like this?

Could be similar to that.

How did you see him?

- Bathroom window. - Okay.

You were using the bathroom?

Excuse the question, but it's essential for the timeline.

Were you urinating or defecating?

Ma'am, you do not have to answer that question.

She's a paralegal. She knows the importance of the details. Please.

It's fine. I was urinating.

Yeah. So, you sat down to use the toilet.

And I saw him throw that.

And then you said you saw it catch fire a few minutes later.

About five minutes later.

Now, this man, did he look like anyone you know?

Anyone you've seen before?

I don't...

No, I don't know.

Why were you still on the toilet?

- What? - It doesn't take five minutes to urinate.

It seems like you took a shit.

Okay, that's enough.

Yeah. No... Yeah, you're right.

I... It feels like we're done here.

- Captain. - Yeah.

Oh, hey.

I got a hankering for a cheeseburger. Do you wanna eat?

Yeah, I could eat.

Ma'am? Hey, I'm a captain with the CPD.

I just have one very important question for you.

That arson investigator that you were just speaking with?

Have you ever seen that man before in your life?

No. I haven't seen him, and I don't know why he treated me that way.

I was just trying to help.

Okay. Thank you so much for your time.

Fuck.

You don't like your burger?

No. Food here sucks.

- You said you loved the food. - I like the view.

Before that Dollar Store was a Dollar Store...

it was a mattress showroom.

And before that, it was a pet shop.

Before that,

it was a seedy little motel that burned down.

Do you remember that?

Well, this... meth head,

she rents a room, invites over some guy.

Maybe she's turning tricks.

Maybe it's a drug deal.

Whatever it is, shit goes sideways.

They get into a fight.

She shoots the guy and sets fire to the room.

The smoke gets so bad,

the elderly couple in the room next door asphyxiate.

Just minding their business, watching Wheel of Fortune.

But here's the crazy thing.

The three homicides?

That's not what made headlines. You know what did?

Well, that bitch's 12-year-old daughter was in there with her the whole time.

She made it out.

Testified against her own mother in court.

She's grown up now.

But I bet in her mind, she never left that room.

Right, Mercy?

Keep that name out of your goddamn mouth.

Why?

It's yours.

Your mother gave it to you.

What do you want? An ovation?

No, I just wanna talk.

Uh-huh.

You don't have to be scared of me.

You slimy piece of shit.

You're an arson investigator who sets fires

so that you can look like a goddamn hero.

You wrote a confession, and you're calling it a book.

I'm not scared of you.

You're the biggest joke I've ever heard.

Then why aren't you laughing?

Hey. Bug, what are you doing?

Going for coffee.

With you.

Oh, shit. Not "shit." Sorry, yes.

Glad to see you.

Okay. Are you sure about that?

Yeah, I...

I'm just a little worked up about this Dave stuff.

I'm not sure how it affects my position here, so...

Well, you practically built this department. They know that.

Yes, they do. Yeah.

What happened to your picture?

Punch out, one-two?

No. I...

No, that... Actually...

You okay?

I messed up, hon.

No, you didn't, Dad.

You remember that raise... big raise I got a few years back?

Yeah, sure.

I didn't get a raise.

Contractor told me that it was $15,000

to fix the bathrooms here at the department.

I told the city it was 20, and I pocketed the difference.

Okay.

Give the money back.

I don't have it.

Five grand? I mean, I'll give you five grand.

It's $256,000.

How?

I took five and nobody noticed...

so I took more.

I don't...

What the fuck, Dad? Why would you do that?

To buy the lake house.

- We didn't need a lake house. - But I wanted it.

I had this dream.

A small, practical dream.

And I realized that after car payments

and, you know, your mom's medical bills

and helping with your tuition,

- that I was never gonna be able to-- - You stole for my tuition?

No. I paid for that. And everything else.

I just... I didn't have anything left.

A lifetime of public service and being so goddamn frugal.

Fucking staring down retirement, and I wasn't gonna get it.

It was one thing just for me.

Fuck.

Fucking embarrassing.

Who else knows?

Dave.

Fuck.

Dave knows.

Gudsen took a bus.

Dawn's got the eye.

- I really fucked up, man. - No, you didn't fuck up.

- Don't lie to me. Shit. - You didn't fuck up, Michelle.

Why do I love something that wants to kill me?

So she gets out tomorrow, huh?

Wanna talk about it?

Nothing left to say.

All right.

You want a drink?

Diner doesn't have its liquor license.

And there's no bars for miles.

You wanna swing by a Chevron?

Sink some 40s in the parking lot?

Huh? We could.

No. Don't you live around here?

I do, yeah.

Well, why don't we just go to your place?

Yeah, it's open all night.

Cool.

Place is nice.

I know. I hired a decorator.

Where are they?

Visiting Todd's mom. I'm going tomorrow.

You wanna chitchat more about my little family,

or you gonna tell me what happened?

She ended it.

Today?

Few days ago.

I was in the hospital.

She said I "wounded" her.

How did you do that?

She didn't tell me what she meant.

And you don't have any ideas?

Nah, we weren't a good match.

I'm always looking to the future.

You know, promotion, book deal, bigger house.

She can't see past the fucking casserole she's making for dinner.

Some people think their lives don't matter.

Then they get mad when other people think they do.

Bullshit.

That's the truth.

Your truth is whatever you want it to be.

And yours isn't?

- I lie all the time. - Uh-huh.

But when I look in the mirror, I see a selfish bitch.

When you look in the mirror...

you see a hero.

I know what I am.

And what is that?

Just some guy doing his job.

And does that guy break the law?

What are you talking about?

That detective that came over here...

she was investigating you.

I didn't do anything.

That's what I thought at first.

I mean, "He's a sick fuck, but he knows the line."

And then...

I remembered all the times that you crossed it.

And I realized you know the line.

You just don't think it applies to you.

That was an accident.

Then why did it make you smile?

Because I like when you're in pain.

What else did you burn, Dave?

All of it.

No way.

Come on. What are we gonna do for seven hours?

Read horoscopes and learn to harmonize? Come on.

Truth or dare.

Okay. Dare.

I dare you to chew with your mouth closed.

Well played.

Okay, now you go.

Truth.

Best night of your life.

After college,

- I took a gap year before grad school. - Uh-huh.

I... my parents thought I was boning up on SEC code,

but I was just reading books.

- So I'm at the laundromat one night. - Uh-huh.

Whites in one machine, colors in the other,

Toni Morrison on my lap,

when this guy walks in...

Okay. And what's he look like?

White, tattoos, about 6'2.

Okay, so this dreamboat walks in...

And he walks over to this dude folding polo shirts...

Uh-huh.

Pulls out a gun, shoots him in the stomach.

The fuck?

Place went nuts.

People running, screaming.

- But I... - Holy shit.

I just strolled right up behind him

and hit him over the head with a clothes iron.

Wow.

Called the police and stopped the victim's bleeding.

I had crystal clarity.

I finally discovered I had something that almost nobody else had.

Yeah. Ice water for blood.

Applied to the police academy two weeks later.

I'm glad. I'm glad you found that.

Ain't pretty living without purpose.

I thought you found your calling. In carnal pleasures.

Yeah, so did I.

Yeah, I don't know.

I'd trade all the hot women in the world just to wear a badge again.

Yours for the night.

- Hey. - Hey.

Interesting style. Very homey.

Yeah, I was going for East Hampton chic.

How are the kids?

You don't ask about the kids.

Well, I'm asking now.

Okay. Well...

Devin, he's six.

He can't read a fucking stop sign...

but he's great at T-ball.

- And Olivia is... - Nice.

she's 10, and she's a sweetheart.

And Maggie is 13.

- Okay. - Yeah.

You know, she's pretty, and she's very smart.

And right now, she thinks that I should burn in hell.

Well, since when do you believe in hell?

Well, Ellen raised them Methodist.

I'm just a Cubs fan.

How is it with Ellen?

- You don't have to do that. - Maybe I want to.

It's just weird.

Why? 'Cause you think it's my fault?

No. You know, I...

I cheated on her with the job years before I...

with you.

You think we will look back on our lives one day

and wish we hadn't worked so many cases?

Fuck no.

Fuck no, indeed.

Did I say you could touch me with your hands?

No, ma'am.

Wow.

- Are you-- - Don't say a word.

Okay.

And if you're feeling lonely, I could...

invite you to more social events.

You know, Lieutenant's getting a kickball team together.

You know what I mean.

We'll get you outta exile, okay?

- When? - Patience. You're young.

- I'm 30. - You're 30?

- Yes. - Is that why you look like shit?

Is that what it is?

You got wrinkles deeper than the Mariana Trench.

Aging gracefully's for pussies.

When you were 30, you were already in homicide.

I was, yeah. But...

I am a god among men.

- A once-in-a-generation talent, so... - Fucking narcissist.

- Well, you got some of that too. - Ego?

Talent. You got talent.

You could be a boss one day.

If you want it.

- I want it. - I know you do.

Fuck.

Where the fuck is my coat?

Can you just explain to me which imaginary line I just fucking crossed?

Please don't play dumb.

You invited yourself to my house for a fucking drink, okay?

I thought we were friends.

We are not fucking friends.

I left my wife for you.

You know... Okay, I'm not doing this shit with you again.

- Yes, you fucking are! - No, I'm not!

Yes, you are!

You touched the stove, and you're fucking pissed you got burned!

Well, fool me once, shame on you!

Fool me twice, then go fuck yourself!

- I said I didn't wanna fuck you anymore! - That is what you fucking said!

Has it ever crossed your goddamn mind that maybe I don't owe you shit?

Maybe I'm just going through my life trying to be a fucking decent person,

and every smile I toss is not a green light

to fuck me from behind!

Enjoy your exile.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

It means you are a fucking basket case, okay?

I picked you up off the fucking sidewalk today.

You're not getting anywhere without me.

So everything that you...

- You literally just-- - Just now?

Yeah.

Oh, no. I was just trying to get a pretty girl in bed.

- Go to hell. - Where you going?

Fuck you.

Don't you fucking walk away.

Don't fucking touch me!

Wait. What...

I can help.

Say it.

I shouldn't.

Say it.

Hey. My car is not a trash can.

I love you.

Smile if you love me back.