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Narrator: Coming up...
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Oh, my god.
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Narrator: How did murr end
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up in this position?
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Will Joe find the strength to
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man up?
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That's Joe's real dog.
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What's up with the pink bows?
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Narrator: And...
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I'm so sorry.
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Narrator: What have the guys
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done to sal now?
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All: Now! Now!
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Today we're in the park,
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having completely normal
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conversations with strangers.
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However, at any point during
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the conversation, the other guys
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can yell "now!"
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When we hear the word "now,"
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we have to do whatever weird
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task was assigned to us.
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If you don't complete the
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weird task when you hear "now,"
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you lose.
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When are we doing this?
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Noooooow!
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Open up your slip of paper.
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I have to start dry-heaving?
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Yeah.
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It's like...
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You know.
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Oh, oh. The guy in blue, with
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sunglasses here?
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I'm all confused. Excuse me.
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I was trying to meet my friend
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at union square park.
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Now. n square park.
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Okay, so... oh, I'm so sorry,
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man.
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Now. Now.
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Sorry about that.
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So, where are we now, then?
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Now.
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Excuse me.
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It runs right into it?
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Now.
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Now.
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Thank you, man.
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That guy's like, "i'm
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leaving now."
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Let's see what's in the
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cards.
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Change my pants?
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I only have one pair of
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pants.
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All: Well...
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Well, well, here we go.
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You see that
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backpack over there, buddy?
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Next to the jacked guy?
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Yeah, the half-naked jacked
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guy.
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That's where your spare pants
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are.
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Guys.
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Hey. What's up, man?
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How are ya?
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There's always some beautiful
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dogs through here.
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Joey, now.
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I mean, the doberman...
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That's one of my favorites.
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He's gonna take his pants
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off.
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You own a dog or no?
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There's so much etiquette with
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dogs.
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You can't really worry about it,
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though.
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If I had my way, I'd make, like,
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all dog owners be responsible
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for their dogs.
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You know, some of them just let
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them run around and do their
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thing.
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If people were responsible for
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their dogs, I'd let my dog play
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with them.
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But if they're not, no can do.
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This citi bike program is
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really taking off.
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Now.
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Because with the bikes, the
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good thing with the bikes is
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that people are just...
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really cutting down on their
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commuting expenses.
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He just changed them.
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You really could save money
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that way.
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You look like a biker.
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Do you own one, or no?
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Don't hurt yourself.
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Don't pull yourself.
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Ready? Now.
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I'd take hot over cold any
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day.
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Doesn't really work.
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All: Now. Now. Now.
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I love when the fountain's on
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because that's really when the
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people come out.
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Now.
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Now.
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Now.
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Now.
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Sweet!
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Some days, you just can't get
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comfortable.
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Over-congratulate?
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About what?
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Over-congratulate someone
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about nothing.
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And everything.
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And everything.
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All right.
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Top of the steps, there's a
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couple there.
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Excuse me.
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Is this normally a stage?
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Do you guys know what this
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normally is?
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Hi. I'm Brian.
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There we... oh. There we go.
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Let's never say "now."
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Let's never say "now."
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That's a cool tattoo, by the
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way.
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I really like that.
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He's just making up talk just
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waiting for it to happen.
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I'd love to congratulate you
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on that.
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Is that the sort of thing you
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congratulate people on, a
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tattoo?
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Oh. I can't do it yet.
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Now would be a good time. Now.
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All right, well, good talking to
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you.
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Now.
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Congratulations on that
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tattoo.
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Now was the time after I left
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and said goodbye.
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Of course.
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Almighty, what are you
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guys doing to me?
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Now.
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I love these shoes, too.
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I don't know where you got them,
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but I think they're great.
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Congratulations on getting those
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shoes.
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What the hell are you guys
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doing?
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Oh. Now.
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I didn't mean to leave out your
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shoes, man.
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Congratulations on those, bro.
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They're really cool. Nice!
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Sweet. Thank you.
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What, you guys think I'm afraid
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to run?
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Sit down right on that bench
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next to that guy there.
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Yeah, there you go.
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Yeah, you see that?
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That's for you.
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Take that paper out.
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You'll know what that has to do
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with it in a second.
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Ah... shoot somebody with a
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water gun.
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How'd you know?
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You're so smart.
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He's enjoying an ice cream.
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I mean, what the hell are we
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waiting for?
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Right now.
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Did we say "later?"
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I thought we said "now."
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Let me just do a little remix
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for you.
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Hold on, buddy.
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N-n..., n-n..., n-n..., n-n-n-now.
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I'm... I'm so sorry. Um...
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I have this, uh...
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I'm so sorry.
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Oh
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Well...
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Now.
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For this.
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All: Now! Now! Now!
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Oh, my god.
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Now! Now!
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Oh, my god. Sorry.
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Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
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All: Now! Now!
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I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
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I'm so sorry.
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All: Now!
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You seem like a great guy.
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Now!
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Are you from New York?
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So you're just visiting then?
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All: Now! Now! Now!
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Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!
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How long...?
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I'm done. I'm done.
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Yes! We got him!
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Oh, nice.
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Narrator: Sal's all wet, so
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now he's on the loser board.
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People have funny walks,
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don't they?
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Would you guys be friends with
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me if I was the same murr you
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know, but I walked like this?
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After all the things there
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are about you, you think that's
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the thing that's gonna put us
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off?
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I'd actually prefer it if you
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started walking like that.
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Then there'd be something
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cool about you.
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Today we're teaming up to
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teach employees about safety in
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the workplace.
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What's unsafe is that our
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presentations have been made by
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the other team.
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At the end of our seminars,
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we'll ask the staff to raise
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their hands if they've learned
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anything.
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Whichever team gets the
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fewest hands raised loses.
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Remember, safety first.
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Doughnuts a close second.
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Why are you always putting
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doughnuts right up there with
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safety?
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Why aren't you, man?
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Why aren't you?
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Good luck.
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Good luck.
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I love these two when they're
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paired together because they
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don't belong anywhere
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together... anywhere.
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Here we go.
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Hey, guys. How are you?
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Hi, everyone. How are you?
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As you may have heard, we
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debrief employees on typical
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workplace-safety protocols.
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Okay.
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In case of an emergency...
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Uh, squat.
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Smoke rises.
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You want to stay low to the
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ground in case of an emergency.
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Bend down with your head
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between your legs.
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Kiss your ass...
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I mean, we're not trying to
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sugarcoat anything here.
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They're dying.
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Grooming for work.
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Facial hair can be dangerous to
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others.
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I wear the beard as an
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example.
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I'm aware of it.
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There's nothing I can really do
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about it.
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I mean, you could shave it.
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Well...
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Murray hates his beard.
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Some teammate, sal.
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00:08:29,121 --> 00:08:30,553
They're seeing the left side.
295
00:08:30,554 --> 00:08:31,753
Show them the right side.
296
00:08:31,754 --> 00:08:32,954
How's your back, buddy?
297
00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:36,220
'Cause he shaves his entire
298
00:08:36,221 --> 00:08:36,588
body.
299
00:08:36,588 --> 00:08:37,554
Sal trumps him.
300
00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:38,920
Now you're selling Murray
301
00:08:38,921 --> 00:08:39,288
out?
302
00:08:39,289 --> 00:08:40,587
He grows the hair in the
303
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:41,088
back.
304
00:08:41,089 --> 00:08:42,520
I love when they turn on each
305
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:42,988
other.
306
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,387
In the room, it gets hot,
307
00:08:44,388 --> 00:08:44,721
man.
308
00:08:44,721 --> 00:08:45,588
It gets heavy.
309
00:08:45,589 --> 00:08:46,787
Let's try not to do that.
310
00:08:46,788 --> 00:08:47,554
All righty.
311
00:08:47,555 --> 00:08:48,753
We will now demonstrate the
312
00:08:48,754 --> 00:08:50,153
different carries you can use to
313
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:51,154
help someone evacuate.
314
00:08:51,154 --> 00:08:52,154
Now, there's...
315
00:08:53,954 --> 00:08:55,087
The Mariah Carey.
316
00:08:55,088 --> 00:08:56,587
Demonstrate.
317
00:08:56,588 --> 00:08:57,987
So, you want to...
318
00:08:57,988 --> 00:08:59,787
It's like a fireman's carry
319
00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:00,588
like this.
320
00:09:00,589 --> 00:09:02,420
And then basically, you want
321
00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:03,620
to communicate it.
322
00:09:03,621 --> 00:09:05,087
You want to be like...
323
00:09:05,088 --> 00:09:07,554
♪ I think there's a fire
324
00:09:09,688 --> 00:09:11,787
♪ burning up in here
325
00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:15,288
♪ I think there's a fire, girl
326
00:09:17,888 --> 00:09:19,120
it's very much like that.
327
00:09:19,121 --> 00:09:20,188
Something like that.
328
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:25,087
Next slide.
329
00:09:25,088 --> 00:09:26,088
Get the...
330
00:09:29,388 --> 00:09:30,520
There's no better advice.
331
00:09:30,521 --> 00:09:31,653
You hear a fire alarm.
332
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,288
Get out.
333
00:09:32,289 --> 00:09:33,553
You're like, "ah, it's not
334
00:09:33,554 --> 00:09:33,988
real."
335
00:09:33,988 --> 00:09:34,988
You stay at your desk.
336
00:09:34,988 --> 00:09:35,721
You know what?
337
00:09:35,722 --> 00:09:37,088
Both: Get the out.
338
00:09:38,588 --> 00:09:39,853
We appreciate your time.
339
00:09:39,854 --> 00:09:41,153
By show of hands, how many of
340
00:09:41,154 --> 00:09:42,553
you feel like you've taken some
341
00:09:42,554 --> 00:09:43,753
kind of value from today's
342
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:45,087
seminar?
343
00:09:45,088 --> 00:09:46,387
One, two.
344
00:09:46,388 --> 00:09:47,088
Both: Two?
345
00:09:47,088 --> 00:09:47,421
Two?
346
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:47,854
Two.
347
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,654
Two out of six.
348
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,787
That's not hard to beat.
349
00:09:49,788 --> 00:09:50,788
Okay, great.
350
00:09:51,788 --> 00:09:52,820
You are looking dapper.
351
00:09:52,821 --> 00:09:53,987
Yeah? I look dapper today?
352
00:09:53,988 --> 00:09:55,187
This might be the first time
353
00:09:55,188 --> 00:09:56,154
you look better than me.
354
00:09:56,155 --> 00:09:57,353
See, he looks good, but he
355
00:09:57,354 --> 00:09:58,520
wait until he opens his mouth.
356
00:09:58,521 --> 00:09:59,587
Yeah, you can't dress up
357
00:09:59,588 --> 00:10:00,321
horrible diction.
358
00:10:00,322 --> 00:10:01,487
Hey. How's it going, guys?
359
00:10:01,488 --> 00:10:02,154
Hello. Hey.
360
00:10:02,154 --> 00:10:02,754
Have a seat.
361
00:10:02,755 --> 00:10:04,020
We are here to talk to you guys
362
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:04,954
about workplace safety.
363
00:10:04,988 --> 00:10:06,020
Here we go!
364
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,021
All right!!
365
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:08,320
Workplace facts.
366
00:10:08,321 --> 00:10:10,187
There are 70% fewer workplace
367
00:10:10,188 --> 00:10:11,753
accidents when a strong
368
00:10:11,754 --> 00:10:13,220
authority is present.
369
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,153
Don't be afraid to assert your
370
00:10:15,154 --> 00:10:17,421
manliness.
371
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,953
That looks like, uh...
372
00:10:22,954 --> 00:10:24,887
That's a picture of Joe's
373
00:10:24,888 --> 00:10:25,721
real dog.
374
00:10:25,722 --> 00:10:27,388
It's a bichon frise.
375
00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:31,220
What is a bichon frise?
376
00:10:31,221 --> 00:10:33,121
What's up with the pink bows?
377
00:10:34,688 --> 00:10:35,920
Some people say cats are
378
00:10:35,921 --> 00:10:36,788
effeminate pet.
379
00:10:36,788 --> 00:10:37,788
But I think...
380
00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:39,387
He's turning on him.
381
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:40,887
Let's keep it together, man.
382
00:10:40,888 --> 00:10:41,888
Okay, sorry.
383
00:10:42,454 --> 00:10:43,887
Sorry... it's just I've got a
384
00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:45,053
lot of crap about cats.
385
00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:46,487
Let's talk about it later.
386
00:10:46,488 --> 00:10:47,488
Okay.
387
00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:51,620
Anonymous questions that were
388
00:10:51,621 --> 00:10:52,920
submitted last seminar.
389
00:10:52,921 --> 00:10:54,653
Sure, and we're gonna ask you
390
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,320
guys to possibly submit some as
391
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:56,788
well.
392
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,387
"What's the most polite way
393
00:10:58,388 --> 00:11:00,087
to tell Duncan about his back
394
00:11:00,088 --> 00:11:01,088
fat?"
395
00:11:02,488 --> 00:11:03,620
Uh...
396
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,853
You know, just say...
397
00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:06,854
"Hey, duncs"...
398
00:11:07,354 --> 00:11:08,620
"what's up with the back
399
00:11:08,621 --> 00:11:09,787
fat?"
400
00:11:09,788 --> 00:11:10,621
Oh, you use e-mail?
401
00:11:10,622 --> 00:11:11,853
Subject... "duncs, your back
402
00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:12,254
fat."
403
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:12,654
Right.
404
00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:13,787
"Totes out of control."
405
00:11:13,788 --> 00:11:14,221
Yes.
406
00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:15,420
"Totes out of
407
00:11:15,421 --> 00:11:17,153
control?"
408
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,853
"I have more of a comment.
409
00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:20,320
I think anfernee has been
410
00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:21,387
stealing toner."
411
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:22,388
Anfernee.
412
00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:24,187
So, you think there's
413
00:11:24,188 --> 00:11:25,587
stealing going on, especially if
414
00:11:25,588 --> 00:11:26,521
anfernee's involved.
415
00:11:26,522 --> 00:11:27,820
It's important to tell people
416
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,087
about that.
417
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,553
Which smells warrant
418
00:11:30,554 --> 00:11:31,421
evacuation.
419
00:11:31,422 --> 00:11:33,453
Smoke... where there's smoke,
420
00:11:33,454 --> 00:11:34,454
there's fire.
421
00:11:34,454 --> 00:11:35,254
Also...
422
00:11:35,255 --> 00:11:37,120
This is like a kick in the
423
00:11:37,121 --> 00:11:39,721
nuts, this one.
424
00:11:43,321 --> 00:11:48,220
Fresh ass
425
00:11:48,221 --> 00:11:49,454
only if it's fresh.
426
00:11:53,854 --> 00:11:55,353
You get a whiff of fresh
427
00:11:55,354 --> 00:11:56,288
ass...
428
00:11:56,289 --> 00:11:58,088
Right by Janice in accounting.
429
00:12:00,288 --> 00:12:01,420
Some of you may be asking,
430
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,487
"what does fresh ass
431
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,488
smell like?"
432
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:11,453
I think that's it, so...
433
00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:12,987
Just a quick question for us...
434
00:12:12,988 --> 00:12:14,453
How many people here feel like
435
00:12:14,454 --> 00:12:15,853
they've taken something away
436
00:12:15,854 --> 00:12:16,920
from today's seminar?
437
00:12:16,921 --> 00:12:17,821
One, two, three.
438
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:18,354
Four.
439
00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:19,753
Both: No!
440
00:12:19,754 --> 00:12:20,787
They beat us!
441
00:12:20,788 --> 00:12:21,388
Okay.
442
00:12:21,389 --> 00:12:22,853
Well, I thought we did an
443
00:12:22,854 --> 00:12:23,854
amazing job.
444
00:12:24,321 --> 00:12:25,987
Narrator: Murr and sal played
445
00:12:25,988 --> 00:12:27,620
it too safe, earning them both
446
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:28,621
spots on the loser board.
447
00:12:30,521 --> 00:12:31,920
Today we're asking strangers
448
00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:33,120
for help making our dating
449
00:12:33,121 --> 00:12:33,588
profile.
450
00:12:33,589 --> 00:12:34,720
The catch is what we're
451
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,120
showing them has been created by
452
00:12:36,121 --> 00:12:36,854
the other guys.
453
00:12:36,855 --> 00:12:38,253
Once we present the profiles,
454
00:12:38,254 --> 00:12:39,587
we'll ask them to rate it on a
455
00:12:39,588 --> 00:12:40,454
scale from 1 to 10.
456
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:41,853
Whoever gets the lowest score
457
00:12:41,854 --> 00:12:43,120
loses, and I'm making this a
458
00:12:43,121 --> 00:12:43,988
joker versus joker.
459
00:12:43,988 --> 00:12:44,721
All: Oh!
460
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,254
Narrator: It's a double down
461
00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:50,753
joker versus joker challenge.
462
00:12:50,754 --> 00:12:52,153
Look at him stalking.
463
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:53,753
"Who would fight back the
464
00:12:53,754 --> 00:12:54,754
least?"
465
00:12:55,954 --> 00:12:57,288
Who can I mentally dominate?
466
00:12:58,621 --> 00:12:59,853
I feel like the guy in red is
467
00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:01,087
on his own hidden-camera show,
468
00:13:01,088 --> 00:13:02,253
and he's looking at Murray and
469
00:13:02,254 --> 00:13:03,254
being like, "this guy looks
470
00:13:03,254 --> 00:13:03,654
good.
471
00:13:03,655 --> 00:13:04,815
I can mentally dominate him."
472
00:13:05,388 --> 00:13:06,520
Do you mind if I ask you a
473
00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:07,088
question?
474
00:13:07,089 --> 00:13:08,287
I just joined an online dating
475
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:08,721
site.
476
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:09,853
I'm trying to fill out the
477
00:13:09,854 --> 00:13:10,321
profile.
478
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:11,620
Can I show it to you, get your
479
00:13:11,621 --> 00:13:13,221
opinion of it?
480
00:13:13,254 --> 00:13:16,553
Yeah!
481
00:13:16,554 --> 00:13:17,653
Neil, nice to meet you.
482
00:13:17,654 --> 00:13:18,687
Neil.
483
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:20,221
Okay, so, I created a screen
484
00:13:20,254 --> 00:13:21,420
name.
485
00:13:21,421 --> 00:13:24,354
Uh, "peeping-at-u."
486
00:13:26,488 --> 00:13:28,287
Right off the bat.
487
00:13:28,288 --> 00:13:30,087
So, a little about me.
488
00:13:30,088 --> 00:13:31,520
What I'm doing with my life...
489
00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:33,420
I currently work in a morgue.
490
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,253
I post new pics on Instagram
491
00:13:35,254 --> 00:13:38,420
daily.
492
00:13:38,421 --> 00:13:40,453
Like selfies from the morgue.
493
00:13:40,454 --> 00:13:42,887
I do a lot of selfies.
494
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:47,820
I mean, you can't...
495
00:13:47,821 --> 00:13:49,087
he just doesn't want to come
496
00:13:49,088 --> 00:13:50,287
out and say... you see it on his
497
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:50,688
face.
498
00:13:50,689 --> 00:13:52,387
"Dude, this sucks."
499
00:13:52,388 --> 00:13:53,620
Let's jump to this one.
500
00:13:53,621 --> 00:13:54,720
I'll show you this one.
501
00:13:54,721 --> 00:13:56,153
"You should message me if you're
502
00:13:56,154 --> 00:13:57,553
fun, adventurous, spontaneous,
503
00:13:57,554 --> 00:13:58,621
tight, and laid-back."
504
00:14:01,554 --> 00:14:02,820
She's great with spontaneity,
505
00:14:02,821 --> 00:14:04,153
and, you know, we come up with
506
00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:05,420
things on the spot, and she's
507
00:14:05,421 --> 00:14:06,620
really laid-back and tight.
508
00:14:06,621 --> 00:14:07,820
On a whim, she's willing to
509
00:14:07,821 --> 00:14:08,987
change her mind and do fun
510
00:14:08,988 --> 00:14:09,421
things.
511
00:14:09,422 --> 00:14:10,687
We'll explore, and then she's
512
00:14:10,688 --> 00:14:12,088
tight and just really laid-back.
513
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:13,953
You know, just really taking
514
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:14,954
adventures and tight.
515
00:14:19,088 --> 00:14:20,588
Neil is stumped.
516
00:14:21,554 --> 00:14:23,187
The first thing people
517
00:14:23,188 --> 00:14:25,087
usually notice about me is my
518
00:14:25,088 --> 00:14:27,621
blackened front chomper.
519
00:14:35,088 --> 00:14:36,220
Show him!
520
00:14:36,221 --> 00:14:37,420
Show him!
521
00:14:37,421 --> 00:14:38,088
Show him!
522
00:14:38,089 --> 00:14:39,620
I'm embarrassed to show you.
523
00:14:39,621 --> 00:14:41,087
I'm embarrassed to show you.
524
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,520
You didn't notice it when you
525
00:14:42,521 --> 00:14:43,454
first came over?
526
00:14:43,455 --> 00:14:44,753
I don't want to show you.
527
00:14:44,754 --> 00:14:46,687
I'm embarrassed.
528
00:14:46,688 --> 00:14:47,521
What do you think?
529
00:14:47,522 --> 00:14:48,787
If you had to rank my dating
530
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,120
profile on a scale of 1 to 10,
531
00:14:50,121 --> 00:14:51,088
what would you give?
532
00:14:51,088 --> 00:14:51,688
Be honest.
533
00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:54,187
Don't be nice. Don't be nice.
534
00:14:54,188 --> 00:14:55,188
A 3?
535
00:15:00,788 --> 00:15:01,987
Get this woman in the pink
536
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:02,354
hat.
537
00:15:02,354 --> 00:15:03,254
Excuse me, miss.
538
00:15:03,255 --> 00:15:04,587
I just need to get an opinion on
539
00:15:04,588 --> 00:15:05,154
something.
540
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,420
I could use a woman's opinion.
541
00:15:06,421 --> 00:15:08,620
Do you want to help me out?
542
00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:10,587
I'm Brian, by the way.
543
00:15:10,588 --> 00:15:12,320
I have to put together a dating
544
00:15:12,321 --> 00:15:12,954
profile.
545
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,553
So, this is what I'm working
546
00:15:14,554 --> 00:15:16,253
with right now.
547
00:15:16,254 --> 00:15:18,453
My personality is best described
548
00:15:18,454 --> 00:15:19,721
as a wet napkin.
549
00:15:28,988 --> 00:15:30,587
So I can be helpful to single
550
00:15:30,588 --> 00:15:31,088
moms.
551
00:15:31,089 --> 00:15:32,120
She's so nice.
552
00:15:32,121 --> 00:15:32,788
She is.
553
00:15:32,789 --> 00:15:34,520
She's politely being full of
554
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:34,988
crap.
555
00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:36,553
Okay, so, so far, I'm not
556
00:15:36,554 --> 00:15:39,187
doing so bad.
557
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,688
Body type... soft.
558
00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:45,954
I just saw that.
559
00:15:45,955 --> 00:15:47,120
I forgot I filled it in.
560
00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:50,253
Okay, currently I...
561
00:15:50,254 --> 00:15:51,853
Wake up every day and try not to
562
00:15:51,854 --> 00:15:52,987
kill myself...
563
00:15:52,988 --> 00:15:54,121
Or scrapbooking.
564
00:15:57,421 --> 00:15:58,720
You know, and I love
565
00:15:58,721 --> 00:15:59,654
scrapbooking.
566
00:15:59,655 --> 00:16:03,388
How do we feel about that?
567
00:16:05,388 --> 00:16:07,253
The first thing people notice
568
00:16:07,254 --> 00:16:08,453
about me is my hat.
569
00:16:08,454 --> 00:16:11,087
I wear it every single day.
570
00:16:11,088 --> 00:16:12,753
This way I never have to wash or
571
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:13,621
comb my hair.
572
00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:15,688
There you go.
573
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:18,687
The most private thing I like
574
00:16:18,688 --> 00:16:20,487
to admit is my breath smells
575
00:16:20,488 --> 00:16:21,521
like fingers.
576
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,553
I guess that means that I put my
577
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,587
own fingers in my mouth or other
578
00:16:32,588 --> 00:16:34,520
people put their fingers in my
579
00:16:34,521 --> 00:16:35,953
mouth.
580
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:36,454
That's it.
581
00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:39,253
That's all I have so far.
582
00:16:39,254 --> 00:16:40,753
This is my first stab at an
583
00:16:40,754 --> 00:16:42,087
online-dating profile.
584
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,653
That's a very polite way of
585
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:45,153
saying, "you'll never get a
586
00:16:45,154 --> 00:16:45,688
date."
587
00:16:45,689 --> 00:16:47,420
If you had to rate my profile
588
00:16:47,421 --> 00:16:48,787
on a scale of 1 to 10...
589
00:16:48,788 --> 00:16:49,921
Moment of truth.
590
00:16:52,754 --> 00:16:53,254
Oh!
591
00:16:53,255 --> 00:16:56,221
6?! What?!
592
00:16:57,421 --> 00:16:58,820
Narrator: Murr's got a double
593
00:16:58,821 --> 00:17:00,120
date with destiny, making him
594
00:17:00,121 --> 00:17:02,087
tonight's big loser.
595
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,088
Let's be honest.
596
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:03,921
Murr is no model.
597
00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:05,387
But he is the loser, so today
598
00:17:05,388 --> 00:17:06,820
we're gonna make him a model.
599
00:17:06,821 --> 00:17:07,654
A nude model.
600
00:17:07,655 --> 00:17:09,120
We're about to send him into
601
00:17:09,121 --> 00:17:10,520
an art class where a group of
602
00:17:10,521 --> 00:17:12,087
students will concentrate on his
603
00:17:12,088 --> 00:17:12,788
every crevice.
604
00:17:12,789 --> 00:17:14,287
He has to do any pose that we
605
00:17:14,288 --> 00:17:14,954
tell him to.
606
00:17:14,955 --> 00:17:16,387
That's the part that scares
607
00:17:16,388 --> 00:17:16,754
me.
608
00:17:16,755 --> 00:17:17,920
That should be the part that
609
00:17:17,921 --> 00:17:18,454
scares you.
610
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,454
That's about to scare a
611
00:17:19,454 --> 00:17:20,454
roomful of people.
612
00:17:23,688 --> 00:17:25,087
Murray, head to toe wax...
613
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:26,088
Head to toe.
614
00:17:27,754 --> 00:17:29,087
In minutes, these people are
615
00:17:29,088 --> 00:17:30,187
gonna be staring directly in
616
00:17:30,188 --> 00:17:31,188
your ass
617
00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:38,853
oh, my god, look at this!
618
00:17:38,854 --> 00:17:41,720
There's no escaping his nude
619
00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:42,421
body.
620
00:17:42,422 --> 00:17:43,487
Oh, my god.
621
00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:45,620
You can see in his face how
622
00:17:45,621 --> 00:17:46,920
jittery he is.
623
00:17:46,921 --> 00:17:47,921
Take it off.
624
00:17:50,388 --> 00:17:52,520
Oh, my god.
625
00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:59,220
Oh, my god.
626
00:17:59,221 --> 00:18:00,487
It's just murr standing in a
627
00:18:00,488 --> 00:18:01,687
room of silent people holding
628
00:18:01,688 --> 00:18:02,388
his own balls.
629
00:18:02,389 --> 00:18:03,553
All right, murr, so, what
630
00:18:03,554 --> 00:18:04,753
we're gonna do... we're gonna
631
00:18:04,754 --> 00:18:06,087
give you a couple poses, buddy.
632
00:18:06,088 --> 00:18:06,621
Okay, ready?
633
00:18:06,622 --> 00:18:07,787
I want you to give them a
634
00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:08,788
heisman trophy.
635
00:18:20,121 --> 00:18:23,754
How about a ballerina?
636
00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:26,554
Oh, my god.
637
00:18:26,555 --> 00:18:27,753
I can't... I can't do this.
638
00:18:27,754 --> 00:18:28,421
Oh, my god.
639
00:18:28,422 --> 00:18:29,553
Oh, my god, that looks so
640
00:18:29,554 --> 00:18:30,887
weird.
641
00:18:30,888 --> 00:18:32,787
Give me the Michael Jackson
642
00:18:32,788 --> 00:18:35,988
"ahhhhhh!"
643
00:18:39,888 --> 00:18:43,187
They are studying your body like
644
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:43,854
you are...
645
00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:44,654
A specimen.
646
00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:45,987
The Mona Lisa. Yeah.
647
00:18:45,988 --> 00:18:47,254
Give me an Egyptian. Go.
648
00:18:49,654 --> 00:18:50,987
We got to get his hands off his
649
00:18:50,988 --> 00:18:51,988
package.
650
00:18:51,989 --> 00:18:55,120
What Murray doesn't know is that
651
00:18:55,121 --> 00:18:57,087
his stage...
652
00:18:57,088 --> 00:19:01,588
Rotates.
653
00:19:08,754 --> 00:19:10,220
Oh, my god!
654
00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:14,088
Oh, my god!
655
00:19:18,088 --> 00:19:19,088
It's time to go to the
656
00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:19,888
amusement park, buddy.
657
00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:20,953
We're gonna go on that roller
658
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:21,954
coaster.
659
00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:24,788
Going up the hill, bud.
660
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:25,953
We're about to go down that big
661
00:19:25,954 --> 00:19:26,721
hill.
662
00:19:26,722 --> 00:19:27,820
Oh! Oh!
663
00:19:27,821 --> 00:19:29,187
Here we go.
664
00:19:29,188 --> 00:19:30,188
Whoa!
665
00:19:35,688 --> 00:19:37,120
Now kick. Now kick.
666
00:19:37,121 --> 00:19:38,154
Crane kick.
667
00:19:39,788 --> 00:19:41,388
I'm gonna throw up.
668
00:19:44,988 --> 00:19:46,353
Oh, god, that's gross!
669
00:19:46,354 --> 00:19:47,853
I'm gonna throw up now, too!
670
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,120
Oh, I'm gonna throw up!
671
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,220
I'm gonna throw up!
672
00:19:50,221 --> 00:19:52,420
Oh, my god.
673
00:19:52,421 --> 00:19:53,753
Oh, my god, I just laughed so
674
00:19:53,754 --> 00:19:54,488
hard, I puked.
675
00:19:54,488 --> 00:19:55,488
I puked in a bucket.
37449
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