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Narrator: Coming up, why is
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sal being such a bad boy?
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Oh, my god.
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Narrator: What do the guys do
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to murr that he can't bear.
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Help me from this man.
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Narrator: And will sal suck
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it up for the win?
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We're at compare foods,
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Brooklyn, trying to get from one
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end of the aisle to the other.
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The catch is, the only time
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we're allowed to move is when
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we've locked eyes with a single
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stranger.
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If the person stops looking,
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you stop moving.
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Whoever doesn't cross the
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finish line loses.
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Let's do this dance!
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You can't have a real
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conversation.
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No full sentences.
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That's to his advantage.
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He can't speak full sentences
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anyway.
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You should be a home run at
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this.
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I heard that.
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Proceed as normal!
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Laugh it up, laugh it up.
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Q, go for Wolverine.
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With the bat shirt.
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Go for hipster Wolverine.
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Snikt!
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Snikt!
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Snikt?
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That's the sound that
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Wolverine's claws make when they
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come out.
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If you knew anything about
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comics, you'd know that.
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Sick burn.
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Sick burn, bro.
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Wow!
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I feel like you just got
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revirginized out there.
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Here he goes.
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Eh?
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♪ Da da da, da da da
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that's super-impressive.
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He's juggling two peaches.
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You're just handing...
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you're just throwing two
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peaches in the air.
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♪ Da da da
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and he's gone!
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Denied!
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Forget Wolverine.
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Get this guy.
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Whoa!
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Eh! Eh!
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Ah! Aah!
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He, he's not looking.
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Not looking, stop moving.
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Da! Da da da!
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Da da da!
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No, you're gonna wear out
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your welcome.
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Soo! So-so!
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You're the ewok?
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You're an ewok now?
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Swee!
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Skiddle-Lee-do!
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You got 4 feet to go.
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No, oh!
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He got across!
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He got it!
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Oh, man!
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He just used brute force.
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Whoo!
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You just got to put the
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interesting face out there.
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Hey, a little bit...
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Just little bit... little bit...
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this is weird, man.
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Look at him.
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Look at this face.
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You've essentially made
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yourself someone that nobody
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would ever want to make eye
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contact with in a supermarket.
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Wha... ju...
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Wha...
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A little bit...
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You did that a little bit...
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oh-ho-ho!
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You got him! He's got him!
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Stop!
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Stranded halfway.
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A little bit...
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A little bit...
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Was it...
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What...
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Oh.
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Oh. Oh, a little bit...
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All right.
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I didn't...
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oh!
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Nicely done!
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Wow.
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One person from start to
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finish, right?
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Yep, one person from start to
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finish.
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No conversation.
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What the...
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That's your plan?
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What is he doing?
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Don't people die like that?
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Well, not when they rip a big
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hole by your nose and mouth.
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Oh.
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What are you, a produce
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ninja?
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Oh, boy, oh, boy.
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Sal, do you know what the
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you look like right now?
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Oh, oh, oh!
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He's dancing plastic ninja!
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There he goes, there he goes!
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He's got it! He's got it!
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He's got him! He's in!
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He's in!
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He's in!
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Oh!
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He almost died a winner!
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Murray, I swear to god, if
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you say the words, "I have a
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foolproof plan," I'm gonna come
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out and strangle you.
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I don't know if it's
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foolproof, but it's an idea.
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Murr, do me a favor... just
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show us.
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Don't say it.
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Just show us what you're
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gonna do.
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Don't say it.
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Look at him struggling to
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keep it in.
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Yeah, keep it in.
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"Aah! Overload! Overload!"
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Sparks start coming out of
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his ears.
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"Need to tell you about my
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approach!"
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"Must tell plan!
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Must tell plan!"
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"This violates prime
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directive."
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"I got to tell you about my
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foolproof approach!"
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Stop.
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This guy in red, buddy.
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Plum. Plum.
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Apple. Apple.
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Green apple.
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Green apple.
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Orange. Orange.
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Orange. Orange. Orange.
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Orange.
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Orange.
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Orange, orange, orange.
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Orange.
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Lemon. Lime. Lime.
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Lime.
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Navel orange.
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Navel orange.
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Navel orange.
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Navel.
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Cantaloupe.
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Cantaloupe.
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Cantaloupe.
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Cantaloupe.
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Cantaloupe?
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He's not into melons.
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Yeah, he's not a melon guy.
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Banana? Banana?
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Sweet potato.
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Sweet potato, sweet potato,
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sweet potato.
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Sweet potato, swee...
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Oh! Sorry.
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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And he lost him!
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You see how close I am?
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Idiot.
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Idiot.
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Idiot.
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Narrator: Murr couldn't cross
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the finish line, so he finishes
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on the loser board.
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They say if you're interested
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in a woman, you're supposed to
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make eye contact with her.
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Seems necessary.
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Otherwise, she'll never, ever
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know you mean to talk to her.
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It never works out.
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I'm always like, "hey.
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What's going on, baby?"
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And then I just can't seal
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that deal.
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I don't know why.
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How many are you staring at?
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The middle one.
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Always stare at the middle one.
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Today we're working as
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podiatrists in the offices of
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Dr. Dan margolin.
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We're gonna be all up in
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them foots.
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While examining people's
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feets, we have to do and say
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whatever the other guys tell
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us to.
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And if you refuse, you go
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down in "defeatses."
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Murr, you in a lab coat looks
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eerie.
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Excuse me, gentlemen.
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My patient is here.
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Hi. How are you?
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Good. How you doing?
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Good.
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James Murray, doctor.
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Have a seat, please.
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So, bring me up to speed with
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what's been going on.
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Well, I have severe pain
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on...
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Okay.
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Do you mind if I just take a
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quick selfie here with my camera
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of your big toe?
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Take a selfie.
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Just take a selfie!
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I'm just gonna pop a selfie
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real quick.
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This is gonna look great on my
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Facebook.
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Oh, my god.
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That's great, right?
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Okay, tell me if you feel any
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pain when I do this, okay?
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Hey, bud, why don't you start
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a tickle fight?
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Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
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Tickle, tickle, tickle.
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Tickle, tickle, tickle,
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tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
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Little bit?
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Little bit?
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Murray, lay on top of this
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guy.
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Full body hug, murr!
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Oh, man.
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Anyway...
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Oh, amazing.
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Come on in.
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Have a seat, please.
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Murr, sit him down.
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Have a seat, please.
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Give him a sensual foot
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massage.
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There's lotion right on that
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counter, buddy.
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Yeah.
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Sensual, sensual.
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Murr, pleasure that big toe.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
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Pleasure that big toe.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
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Don't do it!
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Do you play golf?
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Aaaaaah!
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Aaaaaah-ha-ha-ha!
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Oh, my god!
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Stop it!
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Stop!
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For sakes, stop!
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Why does he keep going?!
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Stop and you win.
295
00:08:17,588 --> 00:08:18,421
Stop and you win.
296
00:08:18,422 --> 00:08:19,620
Stop and we'll give you the
297
00:08:19,621 --> 00:08:20,188
thumbs-up!
298
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:21,287
Murr, if he finishes, you
299
00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:22,488
win.
300
00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:25,587
Q, you ever been to a foot
301
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:25,988
doctor?
302
00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:26,954
No, my feet are fine.
303
00:08:26,955 --> 00:08:28,087
Your feet are probably the
304
00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:29,288
healthiest thing on your body.
305
00:08:29,988 --> 00:08:30,788
All right.
306
00:08:30,789 --> 00:08:32,187
How are you?
307
00:08:32,188 --> 00:08:33,088
Good.
308
00:08:33,089 --> 00:08:34,520
Please, have a seat.
309
00:08:34,521 --> 00:08:35,587
Just sit back, relax.
310
00:08:35,588 --> 00:08:36,154
Get comfortable.
311
00:08:36,155 --> 00:08:37,920
What's the problem, Anastasia?
312
00:08:37,921 --> 00:08:39,420
That's okay.
313
00:08:39,421 --> 00:08:40,520
I have like 10 of them.
314
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:41,687
Q, turn to the door and say,
315
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,520
"come in."
316
00:08:44,521 --> 00:08:47,888
Come in.
317
00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:51,553
Okay, I thought that somebody
318
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:52,221
was gonna...
319
00:08:52,221 --> 00:08:53,088
Okay, sorry.
320
00:08:53,089 --> 00:08:54,320
Q, grab the bottle of
321
00:08:54,321 --> 00:08:55,787
antibacterial to your right.
322
00:08:55,788 --> 00:08:56,388
Okay.
323
00:08:56,389 --> 00:08:57,753
And just start squirting a
324
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:58,987
whole bunch in your hands.
325
00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:00,453
Okay. And how long have you
326
00:09:00,454 --> 00:09:02,421
been feeling the pain?
327
00:09:08,454 --> 00:09:09,221
Right.
328
00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:10,553
I just like everything to be,
329
00:09:10,554 --> 00:09:12,587
you know, completely...
330
00:09:12,588 --> 00:09:14,854
Oh, my god!
331
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:17,288
Come in!
332
00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:21,521
Come in.
333
00:09:23,121 --> 00:09:24,620
Yeah, I guess that that's not
334
00:09:24,621 --> 00:09:25,621
gonna...
335
00:09:26,088 --> 00:09:27,088
Anyway, about your foot...
336
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,088
Anyway, about your foot...
337
00:09:28,088 --> 00:09:29,088
Sorry if I'm a bit off.
338
00:09:29,089 --> 00:09:30,153
Sorry if I'm a bit off.
339
00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:31,253
I walked in on my parents
340
00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:32,721
doing it this morning.
341
00:09:35,854 --> 00:09:36,854
Come in.
342
00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,087
Did you fill out paperwork
343
00:09:42,088 --> 00:09:43,820
today?
344
00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:44,953
Need you to sign this waiver,
345
00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:45,454
then.
346
00:09:45,455 --> 00:09:47,454
Get the roll of paper towels.
347
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,420
Just have you sign this waiver.
348
00:09:50,421 --> 00:09:52,187
We'll just have you sign the
349
00:09:52,188 --> 00:09:53,587
waiver.
350
00:09:53,588 --> 00:09:55,121
Yeah.
351
00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:57,553
What the hell?!
352
00:09:57,554 --> 00:09:59,688
Thank you so much. Thank you.
353
00:10:01,354 --> 00:10:02,487
All right, sal, stand up and
354
00:10:02,488 --> 00:10:03,388
just be like, "let's get
355
00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:04,453
started," and turn around and
356
00:10:04,454 --> 00:10:05,454
spank yourself.
357
00:10:07,421 --> 00:10:11,054
All right, so...
358
00:10:13,554 --> 00:10:14,587
Do it again.
359
00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:16,554
Spank that butt.
360
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:21,453
Go to the cabinet to get
361
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,720
something.
362
00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:23,753
Spank yourself.
363
00:10:23,754 --> 00:10:27,154
Spank yourself.
364
00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:31,820
Oh, my god.
365
00:10:31,821 --> 00:10:33,353
All right, and this foot
366
00:10:33,354 --> 00:10:35,587
never had pain?
367
00:10:35,588 --> 00:10:36,588
Okay, sure.
368
00:10:37,654 --> 00:10:38,787
I'll go get the other doctor.
369
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:39,954
Spank.
370
00:10:43,821 --> 00:10:44,821
Okay, have a seat right
371
00:10:44,821 --> 00:10:45,621
there.
372
00:10:45,621 --> 00:10:46,388
Hi, Brianna.
373
00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:47,221
I'm Dr. Gatto.
374
00:10:47,222 --> 00:10:48,253
Nice to meet you.
375
00:10:48,254 --> 00:10:50,221
So, what's going on here?
376
00:10:52,321 --> 00:10:53,353
Joe, is that your phone
377
00:10:53,354 --> 00:10:53,788
ringing?
378
00:10:53,788 --> 00:10:54,521
Let me see.
379
00:10:54,522 --> 00:10:56,320
One second.
380
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:57,453
I'm just... I have a patient
381
00:10:57,454 --> 00:10:57,921
right now.
382
00:10:57,921 --> 00:10:58,921
Yeah, I'm with a patient
383
00:10:58,921 --> 00:10:59,388
right now.
384
00:10:59,389 --> 00:11:01,454
How's that Booty?
385
00:11:03,088 --> 00:11:04,187
Just say it.
386
00:11:04,188 --> 00:11:08,287
How's that Booty?
387
00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:10,553
How's that Booty?
388
00:11:10,554 --> 00:11:11,653
All right, talk to you later,
389
00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:15,387
Phillip.
390
00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:16,088
All right, Phillip.
391
00:11:16,088 --> 00:11:17,088
I'll talk to you later.
392
00:11:19,988 --> 00:11:23,921
Joe, have twitchy hands.
393
00:11:23,954 --> 00:11:25,187
Who'd you see when you were
394
00:11:25,188 --> 00:11:26,220
here last time?
395
00:11:26,221 --> 00:11:26,921
Oh, okay, okay.
396
00:11:26,922 --> 00:11:28,087
Great doctor, great doctor.
397
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,187
The swelling's gone down a
398
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,854
little bit here.
399
00:11:30,888 --> 00:11:32,553
Okay, let me, uh...
400
00:11:32,554 --> 00:11:34,720
Well, let me see what I have,
401
00:11:34,721 --> 00:11:35,787
uh...
402
00:11:35,788 --> 00:11:37,120
This is what we have.
403
00:11:37,121 --> 00:11:37,954
These guys.
404
00:11:37,955 --> 00:11:39,087
Look at her face.
405
00:11:39,088 --> 00:11:41,920
Look at her.
406
00:11:41,921 --> 00:11:43,153
Bud, put those glasses on.
407
00:11:43,154 --> 00:11:44,353
Look at the swelling.
408
00:11:44,354 --> 00:11:45,520
I'd like to see what...
409
00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:46,221
Son of a...
410
00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:47,653
Oh. That's unfortunate.
411
00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:48,920
Put them on, bro!
412
00:11:48,921 --> 00:11:50,087
Put them on, bro!
413
00:11:50,088 --> 00:11:52,088
All right, well...
414
00:11:56,388 --> 00:11:57,753
Keep them fingers moving.
415
00:11:57,754 --> 00:11:59,687
Keep them fingers moving.
416
00:11:59,688 --> 00:12:01,087
She's looking at you like
417
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:01,754
you're insane.
418
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,087
It hasn't hurt in a while?
419
00:12:03,088 --> 00:12:04,288
You're able to walk around?
420
00:12:05,954 --> 00:12:07,187
Narrator: Q couldn't doctor a
421
00:12:07,188 --> 00:12:08,453
win, so he's kicking his feet up
422
00:12:08,454 --> 00:12:12,687
on the loser board.
423
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,220
As I'm getting older, i'm
424
00:12:14,221 --> 00:12:15,920
starting to get athlete's foot.
425
00:12:15,921 --> 00:12:16,354
What?
426
00:12:16,355 --> 00:12:17,453
The problem is, you're no
427
00:12:17,454 --> 00:12:17,888
athlete.
428
00:12:17,888 --> 00:12:18,388
Right.
429
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:19,553
So you don't have athlete's
430
00:12:19,554 --> 00:12:19,854
foot.
431
00:12:19,854 --> 00:12:20,854
You just have foot.
432
00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:25,287
Today, we're in the park
433
00:12:25,288 --> 00:12:26,520
asking the most normal of
434
00:12:26,521 --> 00:12:27,154
questions.
435
00:12:27,155 --> 00:12:29,153
Could you help me Bury this?
436
00:12:29,154 --> 00:12:30,420
The catch is, we don't know
437
00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:31,388
what we're burying 'cause it's
438
00:12:31,389 --> 00:12:33,088
been planted by the other guys.
439
00:12:33,121 --> 00:12:34,220
If you can't convince someone
440
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,188
to help you Bury the item, you
441
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:35,621
lose.
442
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:36,288
Hold this.
443
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,620
Joker versus joker, whoever's
444
00:12:37,621 --> 00:12:38,521
holding the shovel.
445
00:12:38,522 --> 00:12:40,587
Ohh!
446
00:12:40,588 --> 00:12:44,120
Dig it!
447
00:12:44,121 --> 00:12:45,453
Your legs are really white.
448
00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:46,254
Thanks a lot.
449
00:12:46,255 --> 00:12:47,520
They glare.
450
00:12:47,521 --> 00:12:48,953
They're, like, not even white.
451
00:12:48,954 --> 00:12:50,387
They're like 50 shades of gray.
452
00:12:50,388 --> 00:12:51,628
I just want to handcuff him and
453
00:12:54,788 --> 00:12:56,453
ah, this is killing me.
454
00:12:56,454 --> 00:12:57,520
Friend, could I... could you
455
00:12:57,521 --> 00:12:58,587
give me a hand for one sec,
456
00:12:58,588 --> 00:12:59,488
buddy?
457
00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:01,453
I pulled my back out.
458
00:13:01,454 --> 00:13:02,421
Do you want to give me a hand
459
00:13:02,421 --> 00:13:03,088
for one second?
460
00:13:03,088 --> 00:13:03,621
I'm almost done.
461
00:13:03,622 --> 00:13:05,853
I got to Bury this.
462
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:07,153
It's a...
463
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,187
Oh.
464
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,821
It's just a...
465
00:13:09,854 --> 00:13:10,888
Wedding dress.
466
00:13:14,288 --> 00:13:15,387
Whose wedding dress is it,
467
00:13:15,388 --> 00:13:15,954
buddy?
468
00:13:15,955 --> 00:13:17,587
This is, um...
469
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,220
Yeah, whose is it?
470
00:13:19,221 --> 00:13:20,587
My, um...
471
00:13:20,588 --> 00:13:23,487
My mother is getting remarried
472
00:13:23,488 --> 00:13:25,920
tomorrow.
473
00:13:25,921 --> 00:13:27,488
But not on my watch.
474
00:13:29,521 --> 00:13:30,620
Dalton will never be my real
475
00:13:30,621 --> 00:13:31,621
dad.
476
00:13:36,288 --> 00:13:38,153
Give me a hand, bro.
477
00:13:38,154 --> 00:13:39,253
You know what I'm talking about,
478
00:13:39,254 --> 00:13:39,721
right?
479
00:13:39,722 --> 00:13:40,887
He thinks he's the new man of
480
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,087
the house.
481
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,987
You mind giving me a hand?
482
00:13:44,988 --> 00:13:47,287
Oh, my god!
483
00:13:47,288 --> 00:13:48,221
That's it.
484
00:13:48,222 --> 00:13:49,987
You and me, let's Bury this.
485
00:13:49,988 --> 00:13:50,988
Man.
486
00:13:50,989 --> 00:13:52,887
♪ I get to keep my mommy
487
00:13:52,888 --> 00:13:55,987
♪ I get to keep my mommy
488
00:13:55,988 --> 00:13:57,987
get these guys.
489
00:13:57,988 --> 00:13:59,187
You mind giving me a hand,
490
00:13:59,188 --> 00:14:00,188
fellas, real quick?
491
00:14:00,189 --> 00:14:02,687
I got to Bury this thing.
492
00:14:02,688 --> 00:14:03,787
And I just... it'll just take a
493
00:14:03,788 --> 00:14:04,354
minute.
494
00:14:04,355 --> 00:14:07,087
Let me just.
495
00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:08,221
It's a Teddy bear.
496
00:14:09,621 --> 00:14:10,687
Yeah, I just got to Bury this
497
00:14:10,688 --> 00:14:11,221
Teddy bear.
498
00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:12,353
What Murray doesn't know is
499
00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:15,320
this Teddy bear talks.
500
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:17,587
Please don't Bury me.
501
00:14:17,588 --> 00:14:18,720
I got Bury this Teddy bear
502
00:14:18,721 --> 00:14:19,088
that...
503
00:14:19,089 --> 00:14:20,620
please help me.
504
00:14:20,621 --> 00:14:23,520
Help me from this man.
505
00:14:23,521 --> 00:14:25,353
Yo! It's like Chucky.
506
00:14:25,354 --> 00:14:26,520
Hold on a second!
507
00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:27,421
Please help!
508
00:14:27,422 --> 00:14:29,087
The things this man has done to
509
00:14:29,088 --> 00:14:30,121
me are unspeakable.
510
00:14:31,088 --> 00:14:32,353
I haven't done anything
511
00:14:32,354 --> 00:14:33,921
unspeakable to this Teddy bear.
512
00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:35,687
It's just, I'm done with this
513
00:14:35,688 --> 00:14:36,188
Teddy bear.
514
00:14:36,188 --> 00:14:37,088
I don't need it anymore.
515
00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:38,153
I just need a hand burying it.
516
00:14:38,154 --> 00:14:39,121
Call the police.
517
00:14:39,122 --> 00:14:40,453
Don't listen to the Teddy
518
00:14:40,454 --> 00:14:40,821
bear.
519
00:14:40,822 --> 00:14:42,087
Give me a hand for one sec.
520
00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:43,120
Here, take a shovel.
521
00:14:43,121 --> 00:14:44,088
Come on.
522
00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:44,721
There you go.
523
00:14:44,721 --> 00:14:45,421
Give me a hand.
524
00:14:45,421 --> 00:14:46,254
It'll take one sec.
525
00:14:46,255 --> 00:14:47,520
We'll Bury this Teddy bear once
526
00:14:47,521 --> 00:14:48,454
and for all.
527
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,387
Guys, we'll do this together.
528
00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:51,121
Come on.
529
00:14:51,121 --> 00:14:51,854
I need your help.
530
00:14:51,854 --> 00:14:52,854
Drop that shovel
531
00:14:52,855 --> 00:14:53,887
you pick up that shovel.
532
00:14:53,888 --> 00:14:54,920
You throw that dirt right on
533
00:14:54,921 --> 00:14:55,621
that Teddy bear.
534
00:14:55,621 --> 00:14:56,154
I can't.
535
00:14:56,154 --> 00:14:56,888
Come on, man.
536
00:14:56,889 --> 00:14:57,987
I'll come back and get you if
537
00:14:57,988 --> 00:14:58,721
you help him.
538
00:14:58,722 --> 00:14:59,920
Don't listen to what he said!
539
00:14:59,921 --> 00:15:00,854
Don't be swayed!
540
00:15:00,854 --> 00:15:01,454
Oh!
541
00:15:01,455 --> 00:15:02,820
Come on, do it, do it!
542
00:15:02,821 --> 00:15:03,821
Yes!
543
00:15:06,288 --> 00:15:08,754
The grave is so cold.
544
00:15:11,154 --> 00:15:12,687
Excuse me.
545
00:15:12,688 --> 00:15:13,154
Hi.
546
00:15:13,155 --> 00:15:14,253
Look at her.
547
00:15:14,254 --> 00:15:16,087
She's just staring at him.
548
00:15:16,088 --> 00:15:18,088
Could you help me Bury this?
549
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,621
You're in a rush?
550
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,720
All right, well, thank you.
551
00:15:23,721 --> 00:15:24,920
If somebody approached you in
552
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,087
a park holding a shovel, I would
553
00:15:26,088 --> 00:15:26,754
keep running.
554
00:15:26,754 --> 00:15:27,388
Excuse me.
555
00:15:27,389 --> 00:15:28,487
Could you give me a hand with
556
00:15:28,488 --> 00:15:29,288
something, buddy?
557
00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:30,121
Well, it's simple.
558
00:15:30,122 --> 00:15:31,320
I just got to Bury something
559
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,321
real quick.
560
00:15:32,754 --> 00:15:36,620
It's, um...
561
00:15:36,621 --> 00:15:38,187
It's a...
562
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,688
It's an envelope of dick pics.
563
00:15:40,821 --> 00:15:42,453
Which is... it's pictures of my
564
00:15:42,454 --> 00:15:44,420
friend dick.
565
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,453
But he's naked in them.
566
00:15:46,454 --> 00:15:49,253
It's dick's dick pics.
567
00:15:49,254 --> 00:15:50,353
He asked me to help him get rid
568
00:15:50,354 --> 00:15:51,387
of them, so if you mind, just
569
00:15:51,388 --> 00:15:54,320
help me out?
570
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,888
You want to see the pictures?
571
00:15:58,521 --> 00:15:59,687
Could you help me with this for
572
00:15:59,688 --> 00:16:01,420
one second?
573
00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:02,820
It's exercise.
574
00:16:02,821 --> 00:16:03,621
It's exercise.
575
00:16:03,622 --> 00:16:05,687
Here we go.
576
00:16:05,688 --> 00:16:06,953
Uh, just help me Bury this
577
00:16:06,954 --> 00:16:07,788
for one second.
578
00:16:07,789 --> 00:16:11,388
It's, uh...
579
00:16:13,321 --> 00:16:14,720
It's a wheelbarrow full of naked
580
00:16:14,721 --> 00:16:15,721
dolls.
581
00:16:18,121 --> 00:16:19,487
Every one of them represents an
582
00:16:19,488 --> 00:16:21,087
ex-girlfriend of mine.
583
00:16:21,088 --> 00:16:22,353
And I can't... and I can't take
584
00:16:22,354 --> 00:16:23,354
it anymore.
585
00:16:23,854 --> 00:16:24,488
That's Tina.
586
00:16:24,488 --> 00:16:25,188
That's Tina.
587
00:16:25,189 --> 00:16:26,620
She broke up with me 'cause she
588
00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:27,687
said I yelled too much.
589
00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:28,388
That's Mary.
590
00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:29,820
She said she hated all my cats.
591
00:16:29,821 --> 00:16:30,721
That's Jeannette.
592
00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:32,453
She hated the wheelbarrow.
593
00:16:32,454 --> 00:16:33,787
My therapist said I got to get
594
00:16:33,788 --> 00:16:34,788
rid of these things.
595
00:16:38,654 --> 00:16:39,288
So, what do you say?
596
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,353
You just gonna give me a hand,
597
00:16:40,354 --> 00:16:42,421
Bury these dolls?
598
00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:49,987
Narrator: The only thing q
599
00:16:49,988 --> 00:16:51,220
buried was himself, making him
600
00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:53,153
tonight's big loser.
601
00:16:53,154 --> 00:16:54,420
Q's career in the arts
602
00:16:54,421 --> 00:16:55,088
continues.
603
00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:56,887
First, a photographer, then a
604
00:16:56,888 --> 00:16:58,620
fashion designer, and now a
605
00:16:58,621 --> 00:16:59,221
filmmaker.
606
00:16:59,222 --> 00:17:00,553
You're gonna head to this
607
00:17:00,554 --> 00:17:01,753
theater, packed with movie
608
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,153
buffs, and show them a few key
609
00:17:03,154 --> 00:17:04,553
scenes from your film, which we
610
00:17:04,554 --> 00:17:04,954
made.
611
00:17:04,955 --> 00:17:06,253
Good luck explaining it,
612
00:17:06,254 --> 00:17:07,520
buddy, because the reviews
613
00:17:07,521 --> 00:17:08,088
are in.
614
00:17:08,088 --> 00:17:09,088
It's
615
00:17:11,988 --> 00:17:13,553
my favorite part is that q can't
616
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:14,154
talk.
617
00:17:14,155 --> 00:17:15,320
And we force him to explain
618
00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:15,954
things.
619
00:17:15,955 --> 00:17:17,087
He's not good at speaking.
620
00:17:17,088 --> 00:17:18,520
He's not good at words coming
621
00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:19,521
out of his mouth.
622
00:17:21,154 --> 00:17:22,720
I would like to thank you all
623
00:17:22,721 --> 00:17:23,454
for coming.
624
00:17:23,455 --> 00:17:24,787
I'm just going to be showing
625
00:17:24,788 --> 00:17:26,253
some clips from a short film.
626
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,720
We directed these scenes to
627
00:17:27,721 --> 00:17:29,087
make absolutely no sense on
628
00:17:29,088 --> 00:17:29,488
purpose.
629
00:17:29,489 --> 00:17:31,087
These are some key scenes
630
00:17:31,088 --> 00:17:31,988
from the movie.
631
00:17:31,989 --> 00:17:33,387
We shot them, and, uh...
632
00:17:33,388 --> 00:17:34,088
Oh, here we go.
633
00:17:34,089 --> 00:17:36,287
Untitled film project, a modern
634
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,987
drama based on my life,
635
00:17:37,988 --> 00:17:39,220
by Brian Quinn.
636
00:17:39,221 --> 00:17:41,120
They say that art is supposed to
637
00:17:41,121 --> 00:17:42,653
draw from what you know.
638
00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:43,787
This has all been based on my
639
00:17:43,788 --> 00:17:44,688
life.
640
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:47,587
So, here is scene 112b,
641
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:48,720
"love in the park."
642
00:17:48,721 --> 00:17:52,121
And go ahead, please.
643
00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:02,353
I guess I'll never get those
644
00:18:02,354 --> 00:18:05,688
apples from your mother.
645
00:18:06,488 --> 00:18:11,087
Apples.
646
00:18:11,088 --> 00:18:12,820
So, as you can see there,
647
00:18:12,821 --> 00:18:14,854
there's a... there's, um...
648
00:18:16,088 --> 00:18:17,088
That was my girlfriend
649
00:18:17,088 --> 00:18:17,621
dumping me.
650
00:18:17,622 --> 00:18:18,987
That was me in the suit with the
651
00:18:18,988 --> 00:18:19,254
hat.
652
00:18:19,254 --> 00:18:20,088
He's sweating.
653
00:18:20,089 --> 00:18:21,487
You know, our relationship was
654
00:18:21,488 --> 00:18:23,087
really founded on a mutual love
655
00:18:23,088 --> 00:18:24,787
of apples.
656
00:18:24,788 --> 00:18:27,953
And then we met at an orchid.
657
00:18:27,954 --> 00:18:28,921
Orchard.
658
00:18:28,922 --> 00:18:32,620
An orchid is a flower.
659
00:18:32,621 --> 00:18:33,687
Please roll it.
660
00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:35,353
Scene 88a, subtitled
661
00:18:35,354 --> 00:18:36,621
"peanut butter and smelly."
662
00:18:39,188 --> 00:18:40,188
Oh, spare us!
663
00:18:40,189 --> 00:18:41,653
The turtle had an abortion!
664
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,320
Price gouging, that's what I
665
00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:43,988
call it!
666
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:45,287
Yeah, well, just don't call
667
00:18:45,288 --> 00:18:47,087
it late for supper.
668
00:18:47,088 --> 00:18:48,620
Just don't call it late for
669
00:18:48,621 --> 00:18:49,621
supper.
670
00:18:49,621 --> 00:18:50,621
Hyah!
671
00:18:53,521 --> 00:18:55,521
What happened there, bud?
672
00:19:01,454 --> 00:19:02,887
Clearly, the relationship was in
673
00:19:02,888 --> 00:19:03,388
turmoil.
674
00:19:03,388 --> 00:19:04,354
You know, she was always
675
00:19:04,355 --> 00:19:05,620
threatening me with knives, and
676
00:19:05,621 --> 00:19:08,087
I was always...
677
00:19:08,088 --> 00:19:09,287
Threatening her with the crane
678
00:19:09,288 --> 00:19:10,554
kick from "karate kid."
679
00:19:11,754 --> 00:19:14,287
Next... next...
680
00:19:14,288 --> 00:19:16,287
Scene 9, "my uncle raked me (in
681
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:19,187
(the backyard)."
682
00:19:19,188 --> 00:19:21,088
Please roll that.
683
00:19:30,321 --> 00:19:32,321
Both: I am the world.
684
00:19:35,454 --> 00:19:37,420
Pittsburgh!
685
00:19:37,421 --> 00:19:38,588
Pittsburgh.
686
00:19:45,088 --> 00:19:46,120
Okay, now we're just gonna open
687
00:19:46,121 --> 00:19:47,588
it up to a quick q&a.
688
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:50,853
So, now we're just gonna open
689
00:19:50,854 --> 00:19:51,854
it up to a quick q&a.
690
00:19:53,088 --> 00:19:53,888
Oh, my god.
691
00:19:53,889 --> 00:19:55,420
What festivals do you plan on
692
00:19:55,421 --> 00:19:56,653
submitting this to?
693
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,388
This is shoe-in for Sundance.
694
00:19:59,921 --> 00:20:01,021
"Canise."
695
00:20:01,054 --> 00:20:02,153
Cannes, cannes.
696
00:20:02,154 --> 00:20:03,853
The one... the one in France.
697
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,154
Like, that...
698
00:20:07,254 --> 00:20:08,254
Peanut butter and smelly.
38134
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