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Narrator: Coming up, who
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tells murr to put a sock in it?
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I'm not gonna put up with it.
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What the...
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Narrator: What has q drinking
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on the job?
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I'm so hot!
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Narrator: And what's got Joe
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all hot and bothered?
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A pretentious fact about
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us... we know nothing about art.
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Today, we'll take turns
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teaching an advanced art class.
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To add a splash of color,
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we'll have to do and say what
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the other guys tell us.
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If you refuse to do what
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you're told, you lose.
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What's up with the hat, man?
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Arty.
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Hey, guys. How are you?
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Good. How are you?
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Nice to meet you.
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Grab an easel you feel
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comfortable at.
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You can paint the whole table,
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if you like, or if you like to
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pick one thing and concentrate
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on it, that's just as well.
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Let's begin.
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Go back to that girl there to
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the right.
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I do have a suggestion for
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you.
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That's good.
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I do have a suggestion.
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You know what would really
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help that painting...
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What would really help, I
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think, the painting...
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Yeah?
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Is a ninja.
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You have, uh...
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You have the background.
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That's gonna set a nice tone.
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As a matter of fact...
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Just a suggestion...
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Might be cool if you put,
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like, a... added a ninja in
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there.
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Sal, make the same suggestion
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to the girl next to you.
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You know what would be a good
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idea?
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If, behind the roses on the
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table...
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maybe you drop a nin...
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maybe you drop a ninja in
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there.
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All right, go up to the woman
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in the gray sweater.
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Let me ask you a question.
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Let me ask you a question.
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You think I have a shot with
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"red pants" behind us?
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The room is so quiet.
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They can hear every
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conversation.
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You think I got a shot with
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red pants behind us?
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No.
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Are you talking about me?
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Sick art.
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"Sick art."
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Go up to the girl in red
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pants.
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I like that you went with
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blue.
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I just want a little
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contrast.
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Okay.
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Let me ask you a quick
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question.
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Let me ask you a quick
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question.
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Yeah?
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You think I got a shot with
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the girl in the gray sweater?
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Oh, my god.
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Do you...
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you think I got a shot with
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the girl in the gray sweater?
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She's got a couple rings on
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her finger.
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I don't know about it.
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Doing good so far, buddy.
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I'm gonna turn this up a notch.
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Go up to the woman up in the
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front with the black shirt on.
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Ask to borrow a paintbrush for a
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second.
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Can I show you something?
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Now paint a ninja.
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Oh, my god.
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Right on her canvass?
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Paint a ninja in the
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painting.
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What I'd also want to do
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here...
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And god help us all...
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is...
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You want to add a ninja in here.
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So, what you're gonna do is...
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Do it. Finish the ninja.
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You want to add this guy
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in.
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This is a ninja hiding behind
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the fruit, waiting to pounce.
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And they carry swords.
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Okay. There you go.
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My god.
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See, I feel that murr is at a
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disadvantage right now because
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art is evoked from things like
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human emotion and human
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feelings.
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Do you know what feelings
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are, murr?
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Paint by
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numbers.
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Hi, everybody. How are you?
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Murr, there's a paintbrush on
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that back table.
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Why don't you pick it up.
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Start hitting people's canvasses
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with it.
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There you go... the girl on the
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left.
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Ah!
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It's great. Yeah, keep it up.
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Oh, you're doing that big Rose
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there?
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All right, beat the hell out
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of this thing like it owes you
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money.
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Beat the hell out of it.
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Do it, bro.
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The hard part of the Rose is
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trying to get the exact
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perspective right.
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Obviously, yours looks almost
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one-dimensional.
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The hard part, though, is the
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depth of the Rose.
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Beautiful.
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You got a lip balm in your
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pocket, right, bud?
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He always does.
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I won't lend him mine.
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Take it out and just apply it
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to yourself.
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Help her.
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Don't stop applying your lip
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balm.
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The second Rose...
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Yeah, there it is.
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Oh, my god.
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The girl behind you is flipping
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out.
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Keep doing it.
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Something light, as if...
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Imagine, like, it's in, like, a
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country setting or something
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like that, you know?
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Her hand.
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She wants to say something so
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bad.
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Try a glass of wine, too.
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Great. Keep up the great work.
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You guys are doing a great job.
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And that's not just lip
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service.
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And that's not just lip
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service.
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She appreciates a bad joke.
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All right, murr, take out your
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phone and have an inappropriate
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phone call right in front of
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this class.
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I can't talk right now.
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I'm teaching.
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Your girlfriend just decided
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to break up with you.
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What do you mean it's not
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working out?
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So help me god, if you say
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Dalton...
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So help me god, if you say
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Dalton...
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Is Dalton there with you?
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You put him on the damn
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phone right now.
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Let me talk to him.
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I got to get back to work.
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No!
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No! You understand me?
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Don't touch my baseball cards.
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Just go, "hold on, hold on."
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Hold on, hold on.
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Turn around, be like, "does
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anybody need any more
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paint?"
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Hold on, hold on, hold on.
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Anyone need any more
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paint?
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My name's Joe.
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I'm your instructor today.
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Welcome to artevino.
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Art is the smartest of all
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the deadbeat careers.
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Guys, just remember... art is
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the smartest of all the deadbeat
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careers out there.
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Yeah, I'm a full-time artist.
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I'm a full-time artist.
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Straight-up deadbeat.
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Joe, keep censoring your own
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bad words.
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How long have I been
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painting?
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I've been painting for two
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beeping years.
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That's how I met my...
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Beep of a beeping ex-girlfriend.
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She was a great beep, though.
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One hell of a beep, though.
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Keep going with it.
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Keep going with it.
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I caught her in the back sucking
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some guy's beep.
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My grandmother was a great
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painter.
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My grandmother was a great
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painter.
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She taught me three things...
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She taught me three things,
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really, about it...
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how to draw a tree...
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how to draw a tree...
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how to paint a man...
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how to paint a man...
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and how to please a woman.
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And how to...
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Your grandma taught you?
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It was...
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Grandma.
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Grandma. Escaping me.
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That third one's escaping me.
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Narrator: Coming up, has q
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he just grabbed the bottle
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and took a drink.
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No one told you to drink from
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the wine bottle, you jerk.
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No one told me not to.
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You don't talk to us.
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That just meant nothing to
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everyone in there.
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Who did you say that to?
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Who do they think you're
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talking to?
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Q, power-walk to the guy in
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the back.
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Then say, "I must paint you
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nude."
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I must paint you nude.
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We'll schedule that after class.
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It's a whole different thing.
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Okay, grab that easel and
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show them how to paint.
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You are better off vomiting
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onto that canvass.
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It would look better than
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whatever you're gonna paint.
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Now, the thing to remember
294
00:08:02,488 --> 00:08:05,754
is... I'm a little color-blind.
295
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:14,088
The wine bottle over here.
296
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:17,887
Now here is my cat.
297
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:20,220
He's a black cat.
298
00:08:20,221 --> 00:08:21,820
Now, guys, this is available
299
00:08:21,821 --> 00:08:22,421
for sale.
300
00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:23,988
I'm in a tough spot right now.
301
00:08:26,554 --> 00:08:28,220
Now, guys, this is available
302
00:08:28,221 --> 00:08:29,887
for sale.
303
00:08:29,888 --> 00:08:31,487
I'm in a tough spot right now.
304
00:08:31,488 --> 00:08:32,853
Got evicted last week.
305
00:08:32,854 --> 00:08:34,320
I got evicted last week.
306
00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:35,487
Put your paint down.
307
00:08:35,488 --> 00:08:36,787
Take your hat off and start
308
00:08:36,788 --> 00:08:38,253
going table to table with your
309
00:08:38,254 --> 00:08:39,787
hat out in your hand and beg for
310
00:08:39,788 --> 00:08:40,221
money.
311
00:08:40,222 --> 00:08:42,454
Oh, my...
312
00:08:48,521 --> 00:08:50,087
This is humiliating.
313
00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:51,887
Dude, go to the girl in the
314
00:08:51,888 --> 00:08:55,154
front.
315
00:08:56,521 --> 00:09:00,120
Did you have any money?
316
00:09:00,121 --> 00:09:01,420
Okay, okay.
317
00:09:01,421 --> 00:09:04,620
He's begging.
318
00:09:04,621 --> 00:09:05,820
Sir, I don't know if you
319
00:09:05,821 --> 00:09:07,220
could, but I'm in a little rough
320
00:09:07,221 --> 00:09:07,588
spot.
321
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:08,588
I could...
322
00:09:11,121 --> 00:09:15,121
Thank you.
323
00:09:17,354 --> 00:09:18,887
Narrator: Joe painted himself
324
00:09:18,888 --> 00:09:20,320
into a corner and ended up on
325
00:09:20,321 --> 00:09:24,420
the loser board.
326
00:09:24,421 --> 00:09:25,587
What is art really?
327
00:09:25,588 --> 00:09:26,920
Well, art's subjective.
328
00:09:26,921 --> 00:09:28,487
Like, if I nail a hot dog to
329
00:09:28,488 --> 00:09:29,388
a wooden door...
330
00:09:29,388 --> 00:09:29,888
art.
331
00:09:29,889 --> 00:09:31,353
I'll buy it... 100 bucks.
332
00:09:31,354 --> 00:09:32,587
It's $200. I'm sorry.
333
00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:33,753
I'll give you $250.
334
00:09:33,754 --> 00:09:34,754
Done.
335
00:09:35,088 --> 00:09:36,453
Let's talk about the art of
336
00:09:36,454 --> 00:09:37,454
negotiation.
337
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:44,953
Tonight, we're just hanging
338
00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:46,087
out at a bar, playing some
339
00:09:46,088 --> 00:09:46,388
darts.
340
00:09:46,389 --> 00:09:47,653
But each segment of the dart
341
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:48,787
board will have a ridiculous
342
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,588
task written on it.
343
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,753
Whatever stupid thing that
344
00:09:50,754 --> 00:09:52,820
your dart hits you have to do.
345
00:09:52,821 --> 00:09:54,087
If you can't complete the
346
00:09:54,088 --> 00:09:54,821
task, you lose.
347
00:09:54,822 --> 00:09:56,120
Narrator: It's a double down
348
00:09:56,121 --> 00:09:56,654
challenge.
349
00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:57,920
You guys don't know this, but
350
00:09:57,921 --> 00:09:59,120
I used to... I trained, when I
351
00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:00,353
was younger, to be a ninja, and
352
00:10:00,354 --> 00:10:01,587
I was good with throwing cards.
353
00:10:01,588 --> 00:10:02,654
I know that's not true.
354
00:10:04,088 --> 00:10:05,021
Joker's choice!
355
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:05,921
Joker's choice!
356
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:06,621
All right.
357
00:10:06,622 --> 00:10:07,953
Whole board, whatever you
358
00:10:07,954 --> 00:10:08,354
want.
359
00:10:08,354 --> 00:10:09,321
All right.
360
00:10:09,322 --> 00:10:11,120
I guess I'll baby-talk a guy.
361
00:10:11,121 --> 00:10:12,820
Why didn't you pick $50?
362
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,620
Oh, I can pick the middle?
363
00:10:14,621 --> 00:10:16,354
Oh, wait! I change my mind!
364
00:10:17,188 --> 00:10:18,953
I didn't know I could pick the
365
00:10:18,954 --> 00:10:19,554
middle.
366
00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:21,320
I didn't know I could pick the
367
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,321
middle!
368
00:10:23,254 --> 00:10:25,387
Joey!
369
00:10:25,388 --> 00:10:27,120
Are you ready to go?
370
00:10:27,121 --> 00:10:28,320
Bottle of milk,
371
00:10:28,321 --> 00:10:28,754
please.
372
00:10:29,321 --> 00:10:30,254
Man, I think the most
373
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,453
important lesson that you could
374
00:10:31,454 --> 00:10:32,620
learn from this whole thing is
375
00:10:32,621 --> 00:10:33,887
that when you have a choice...
376
00:10:33,888 --> 00:10:35,187
Take $50.
377
00:10:35,188 --> 00:10:36,188
Take $50.
378
00:10:37,454 --> 00:10:39,153
How about this big, buff guy?
379
00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:40,553
This guy's
380
00:10:40,554 --> 00:10:42,654
perfect!
381
00:10:43,488 --> 00:10:45,087
The guy's a foot taller than
382
00:10:45,088 --> 00:10:46,088
you.
383
00:10:48,121 --> 00:10:49,487
Too tall, are
384
00:10:49,488 --> 00:10:50,754
you getting a drinky-winky?
385
00:10:52,221 --> 00:10:53,088
You drink beers?
386
00:10:53,088 --> 00:10:53,954
You drink beers.
387
00:10:53,955 --> 00:10:54,987
You sound like a
388
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:55,854
yoda/elmer fudd.
389
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:57,153
That's who you sound like,
390
00:10:57,154 --> 00:10:57,621
right?
391
00:10:57,622 --> 00:10:58,753
Yeah, it's bizarre.
392
00:10:58,754 --> 00:11:00,320
That's so good you drink the
393
00:11:00,321 --> 00:11:01,921
beers.
394
00:11:07,388 --> 00:11:09,153
You ever been here before?
395
00:11:09,154 --> 00:11:10,454
No.
396
00:11:13,321 --> 00:11:15,320
Do you like it?
397
00:11:15,321 --> 00:11:16,921
He likes it!
398
00:11:19,354 --> 00:11:20,853
That's a big pitcher.
399
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,387
You got a big pitcher.
400
00:11:22,388 --> 00:11:25,087
You got a big pitcher.
401
00:11:25,088 --> 00:11:27,188
Man of few words you are.
402
00:11:30,188 --> 00:11:33,187
Ready?
403
00:11:33,188 --> 00:11:35,220
Get your upper thigh rubbed!
404
00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:36,587
You got to get your upper
405
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:37,321
thigh rubbed.
406
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,787
How am I supposed to get it
407
00:11:38,788 --> 00:11:39,321
rubbed?
408
00:11:39,322 --> 00:11:40,587
Now, q, I mean, that's up
409
00:11:40,588 --> 00:11:41,088
here.
410
00:11:41,089 --> 00:11:42,153
Upper thigh, buddy.
411
00:11:42,154 --> 00:11:43,587
Upper thigh, not your lower
412
00:11:43,588 --> 00:11:46,287
thigh.
413
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,920
What's up, bro?
414
00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:48,721
How you doing?
415
00:11:48,722 --> 00:11:49,888
Want to rub that thigh?
416
00:11:52,554 --> 00:11:55,921
He gave him the offer.
417
00:11:56,688 --> 00:11:57,521
What are you?
418
00:11:57,522 --> 00:11:58,554
A construction worker?
419
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,853
He thinks he's got something
420
00:12:03,854 --> 00:12:06,087
on his thigh.
421
00:12:06,088 --> 00:12:07,753
My thigh.
422
00:12:07,754 --> 00:12:09,787
My thigh, yeah?
423
00:12:09,788 --> 00:12:11,088
Nice, right?
424
00:12:12,388 --> 00:12:15,821
Want to get a rub on that?
425
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:21,087
This...
426
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,720
Listen, this thigh-rubbing offer
427
00:12:22,721 --> 00:12:24,154
ain't gonna stand all day.
428
00:12:24,988 --> 00:12:26,587
Get in there. Get in there.
429
00:12:26,588 --> 00:12:28,487
Last guy who rubbed my thigh won
430
00:12:28,488 --> 00:12:32,087
the powerball.
431
00:12:32,088 --> 00:12:35,553
Yeah. Hey! All right!
432
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:37,253
Yeah! Just two dudes rubbing
433
00:12:37,254 --> 00:12:38,287
thighs in bars.
434
00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:39,088
That's all.
435
00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:40,787
He picked the guy who was
436
00:12:40,788 --> 00:12:42,521
ready to play ball... Literally.
437
00:12:44,488 --> 00:12:45,787
Is there any chance that dart
438
00:12:45,788 --> 00:12:47,087
can be thrown, make a u-turn,
439
00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:48,420
come back, and stab you in the
440
00:12:48,421 --> 00:12:49,421
chest?
441
00:12:52,754 --> 00:12:55,287
All: Oh!
442
00:12:55,288 --> 00:12:59,353
Sock in your mouth!
443
00:12:59,354 --> 00:13:01,788
Murr, where are you?
444
00:13:03,721 --> 00:13:05,553
Here, we see the murr in his
445
00:13:05,554 --> 00:13:10,087
natural habitat.
446
00:13:10,088 --> 00:13:12,120
I'm having a bad day, man.
447
00:13:12,121 --> 00:13:13,153
I'm supposed to meet my girl
448
00:13:13,154 --> 00:13:13,654
here, right?
449
00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:14,554
We're gonna have drinks.
450
00:13:14,554 --> 00:13:15,254
She calls me up.
451
00:13:15,255 --> 00:13:16,953
She says, "I don't want to see
452
00:13:16,954 --> 00:13:18,787
you anymore because I think your
453
00:13:18,788 --> 00:13:21,253
feet look weird."
454
00:13:21,254 --> 00:13:22,287
That my feet look weird.
455
00:13:22,288 --> 00:13:23,453
I've never heard that in my
456
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,320
life.
457
00:13:26,321 --> 00:13:27,321
See?
458
00:13:28,088 --> 00:13:29,720
But it looks fine.
459
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,987
Like, take a look, right?
460
00:13:31,988 --> 00:13:33,453
Your foot looks worse?
461
00:13:33,454 --> 00:13:34,288
Let me see.
462
00:13:34,289 --> 00:13:36,320
Oh.
463
00:13:36,321 --> 00:13:37,687
Let me see one real quick.
464
00:13:37,688 --> 00:13:39,120
I just want to see real quick.
465
00:13:39,121 --> 00:13:40,421
He gets people to do this
466
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:41,721
it's unreal.
467
00:13:41,722 --> 00:13:43,087
I'll hold this for you.
468
00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:43,854
Aah! Aah!
469
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,520
That looks totally fine, man.
470
00:13:45,521 --> 00:13:47,520
That looks completely fine.
471
00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:48,920
It looks completely fine.
472
00:13:48,921 --> 00:13:50,087
I'm gonna tell her...
473
00:13:50,088 --> 00:13:51,520
We're moments away from
474
00:13:51,521 --> 00:13:52,154
insertion.
475
00:13:52,154 --> 00:13:53,154
I feel like prom night.
476
00:13:59,188 --> 00:14:00,188
Real quick.
477
00:14:00,188 --> 00:14:00,954
I just want to see real quick.
478
00:14:00,954 --> 00:14:01,688
No, he doesn't!
479
00:14:01,688 --> 00:14:02,454
No, he doesn't!
480
00:14:02,454 --> 00:14:03,221
Don't do it.
481
00:14:03,221 --> 00:14:04,121
Please don't do it.
482
00:14:04,122 --> 00:14:06,320
I am not gonna put up with it
483
00:14:06,321 --> 00:14:07,088
at all.
484
00:14:07,089 --> 00:14:09,121
I'm not gonna put up with it.
485
00:14:12,088 --> 00:14:13,088
You like that?
486
00:14:13,089 --> 00:14:14,353
Is that good for you, man?
487
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,187
What the
488
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,188
oh!
489
00:14:19,754 --> 00:14:21,453
I'm just really emotional.
490
00:14:21,454 --> 00:14:23,353
Was that the taste of victory
491
00:14:23,354 --> 00:14:24,788
or the taste of de-feet?
492
00:14:29,188 --> 00:14:32,853
Dart time.
493
00:14:32,854 --> 00:14:33,854
Oh!
494
00:14:34,154 --> 00:14:35,653
"Royal kiss" a dude's hand.
495
00:14:35,654 --> 00:14:36,853
You know what that is.
496
00:14:36,854 --> 00:14:37,721
That this?
497
00:14:37,721 --> 00:14:38,588
That's this.
498
00:14:38,588 --> 00:14:39,521
Is that that?
499
00:14:39,522 --> 00:14:40,888
"Bro, kiss my hand."
500
00:14:41,654 --> 00:14:43,320
All right. I bid you adieu.
501
00:14:43,321 --> 00:14:44,453
Welcome, sire.
502
00:14:44,454 --> 00:14:45,553
Oh, look at him.
503
00:14:45,554 --> 00:14:47,853
Royal-kissing dudes's hands.
504
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,387
How does his hair look so
505
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,087
neat and in place, and then the
506
00:14:51,088 --> 00:14:52,853
second you get here, it's like a
507
00:14:52,854 --> 00:14:53,654
car accident?
508
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:55,320
Sal, you're like Don draper up
509
00:14:55,321 --> 00:14:57,087
top and elephant man down below
510
00:14:57,088 --> 00:14:58,420
with, like, the two hair
511
00:14:58,421 --> 00:15:01,187
differences going on.
512
00:15:01,188 --> 00:15:02,553
I'm afraid someone's gonna
513
00:15:02,554 --> 00:15:03,887
punch me in the face.
514
00:15:03,888 --> 00:15:09,620
There's a guy to your left.
515
00:15:09,621 --> 00:15:10,154
Oops.
516
00:15:10,155 --> 00:15:11,287
Sorry.
517
00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:12,354
Thank you.
518
00:15:15,654 --> 00:15:17,087
I didn't mean to do that,
519
00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:17,354
man.
520
00:15:17,354 --> 00:15:18,288
Crazy. But thanks.
521
00:15:18,289 --> 00:15:19,620
Thanks for picking that up for
522
00:15:19,621 --> 00:15:19,988
me.
523
00:15:19,989 --> 00:15:22,087
I appreciate that. Okay.
524
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:22,588
Cheers.
525
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,853
That wasn't royal.
526
00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:25,621
That don't count.
527
00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:28,187
Remember, this is a royal
528
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,987
hand kiss, not just kissing the
529
00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:30,554
hand.
530
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,321
I don't know why I did that.
531
00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:34,753
I was so in a tizzy.
532
00:15:34,754 --> 00:15:35,588
I just...
533
00:15:35,589 --> 00:15:37,421
He just wiped his hand.
534
00:15:38,488 --> 00:15:40,088
"That was weird."
535
00:15:41,088 --> 00:15:43,587
Narrator: Sal couldn't score
536
00:15:43,588 --> 00:15:45,253
a win, so he's tonight's big
537
00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:45,888
loser.
538
00:15:45,889 --> 00:15:47,753
Sal's our loser and, also, a
539
00:15:47,754 --> 00:15:49,653
particularly stressed-out little
540
00:15:49,654 --> 00:15:50,088
man.
541
00:15:50,089 --> 00:15:51,153
So we've created a
542
00:15:51,154 --> 00:15:52,687
presentation that you have to go
543
00:15:52,688 --> 00:15:54,187
in there and deliver, teaching
544
00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:55,487
people how not to sweat the
545
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,154
small things.
546
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:57,487
'Cause if there's one thing
547
00:15:57,488 --> 00:15:58,787
you do really well, my friend,
548
00:15:58,788 --> 00:16:00,253
it is sweating the small things.
549
00:16:00,254 --> 00:16:01,387
I'm sweating already.
550
00:16:01,388 --> 00:16:02,388
I know.
551
00:16:02,554 --> 00:16:03,853
Hey, everyone. How are you?
552
00:16:03,854 --> 00:16:05,220
I don't know how we could do
553
00:16:05,221 --> 00:16:06,253
anything worse.
554
00:16:06,254 --> 00:16:07,953
So, today's seminar, of
555
00:16:07,954 --> 00:16:09,753
course, and you guys know is
556
00:16:09,754 --> 00:16:11,087
"don't sweat the small things:
557
00:16:11,088 --> 00:16:12,088
How to create a stress-free
558
00:16:12,088 --> 00:16:12,488
life."
559
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:13,720
He's the most stressed out of
560
00:16:13,721 --> 00:16:14,288
all of us.
561
00:16:14,289 --> 00:16:15,487
He lives the most stressed
562
00:16:15,488 --> 00:16:16,088
life ever.
563
00:16:16,088 --> 00:16:16,821
Let's begin.
564
00:16:16,822 --> 00:16:18,387
Lots of people are worried about
565
00:16:18,388 --> 00:16:19,720
threats to their health, like
566
00:16:19,721 --> 00:16:20,820
cancer and diabetes.
567
00:16:20,821 --> 00:16:22,520
They should be worried, instead,
568
00:16:22,521 --> 00:16:24,120
about the silent killer, which
569
00:16:24,121 --> 00:16:25,153
is stress, right.
570
00:16:25,154 --> 00:16:26,488
I'm actually nervous.
571
00:16:27,121 --> 00:16:28,320
You don't have control over
572
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,387
the amount of stress you
573
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:30,687
encounter in the outside world,
574
00:16:30,688 --> 00:16:31,920
but there's one place that you
575
00:16:31,921 --> 00:16:33,787
can control...
576
00:16:33,788 --> 00:16:34,788
Your home.
577
00:16:35,754 --> 00:16:36,521
Okay.
578
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:38,620
That is sal's house.
579
00:16:38,621 --> 00:16:41,253
We know where sal hides his
580
00:16:41,254 --> 00:16:41,921
key.
581
00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:43,621
It's right there.
582
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,088
Come on in, guys.
583
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,587
Let's see what's going on in
584
00:16:48,588 --> 00:16:51,387
sal's house.
585
00:16:51,388 --> 00:16:52,820
Now he knows that we're in his
586
00:16:52,821 --> 00:16:53,321
house.
587
00:16:53,321 --> 00:16:54,321
In his house.
588
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,520
Moving on...
589
00:17:04,521 --> 00:17:06,221
Consider a pet.
590
00:17:14,488 --> 00:17:19,688
That's my cat in sal's bed.
591
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:31,088
He's in shock.
592
00:17:32,154 --> 00:17:32,954
Let's move on.
593
00:17:32,954 --> 00:17:33,654
Eat right.
594
00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:35,253
If you're in a hurry, make sure
595
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:36,788
to grab some breakfast.
596
00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:38,721
Sal's milk.
597
00:17:38,722 --> 00:17:39,954
That's sal's.
598
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:42,853
That's still at sal's house.
599
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:45,088
That's sal's peanut butter.
600
00:17:47,888 --> 00:17:49,587
Wait for it. Wait for it.
601
00:17:49,588 --> 00:17:51,587
And it goes... Right back in the
602
00:17:51,588 --> 00:17:53,088
jar of peanut butter!
603
00:17:53,721 --> 00:17:54,688
Look at this guy.
604
00:17:54,689 --> 00:17:56,087
He's like, "that peanut butter
605
00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:57,088
was violated."
606
00:17:57,654 --> 00:17:59,320
Don't stress about germs.
607
00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:00,088
Oh, god.
608
00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:01,720
Now, I used to live life as,
609
00:18:01,721 --> 00:18:03,353
like, a germophobe, really.
610
00:18:03,354 --> 00:18:04,188
Used to?
611
00:18:04,189 --> 00:18:05,787
What's this "used to," sal?
612
00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:07,253
I don't like touching
613
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,787
handles, public restrooms,
614
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:09,820
things like that.
615
00:18:09,821 --> 00:18:11,621
I'm so sick.
616
00:18:13,454 --> 00:18:16,720
That's sal's couch.
617
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,454
Here you go.
618
00:18:17,455 --> 00:18:18,853
Just shove that right between
619
00:18:18,854 --> 00:18:19,621
the cushions.
620
00:18:19,622 --> 00:18:20,987
That tissue is still in your
621
00:18:20,988 --> 00:18:21,988
couch.
622
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:25,721
I'm so hot! Oh, god!
623
00:18:30,088 --> 00:18:31,453
Oh, it's getting more
624
00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:32,454
comfortable.
625
00:18:39,888 --> 00:18:42,953
Oh, my god.
626
00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:47,320
Oh! Oh!
627
00:18:47,321 --> 00:18:50,387
Oh, he didn't wash his hands!
628
00:18:50,388 --> 00:18:51,088
Oh!
629
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,388
That's your toothbrush.
630
00:18:55,754 --> 00:18:56,721
And there it is.
631
00:18:56,722 --> 00:18:58,120
I thought that one would get
632
00:18:58,121 --> 00:18:58,454
you.
633
00:18:58,455 --> 00:18:59,687
You want to make sure to
634
00:18:59,688 --> 00:19:01,187
maintain proper hygiene, which
635
00:19:01,188 --> 00:19:02,553
is why I don't go into public
636
00:19:02,554 --> 00:19:04,087
restrooms, which is why I always
637
00:19:04,088 --> 00:19:05,587
thought that my private bathroom
638
00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:06,588
was safe.
639
00:19:08,888 --> 00:19:09,321
Okay.
640
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:10,687
Get to know your neighbors.
641
00:19:10,688 --> 00:19:12,087
A sense of community can make
642
00:19:12,088 --> 00:19:13,121
all the difference.
643
00:19:19,354 --> 00:19:20,920
"Be friendly with the
644
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:21,821
neighbors."
645
00:19:21,822 --> 00:19:22,987
"Be friendly."
646
00:19:22,988 --> 00:19:25,720
Oh!
647
00:19:25,721 --> 00:19:26,454
Oh!
648
00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:28,454
Hi, neighbors.
649
00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:30,554
Oh!
650
00:19:30,555 --> 00:19:32,087
Hi, neighbors.
651
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:36,187
Hello, neighbors.
652
00:19:36,188 --> 00:19:37,721
Stress...
653
00:19:39,821 --> 00:19:40,853
Oh, god.
654
00:19:40,854 --> 00:19:43,220
All right, I have to move
655
00:19:43,221 --> 00:19:46,087
because there's no doubt I have
656
00:19:46,088 --> 00:19:47,920
probably hepatitis "a" through
657
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:48,388
zed.
658
00:19:48,389 --> 00:19:50,321
Thank you. Thank you very much.
659
00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:53,487
Please tell me that wasn't my
660
00:19:53,488 --> 00:19:54,654
real toothbrush, please.
661
00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:56,720
What is wrong with you people?
662
00:19:56,721 --> 00:19:57,488
Don't lose.
663
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,321
My neighbors.
664
00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,687
Stop losing and stop going
665
00:19:59,688 --> 00:20:00,987
away for three or four days.
666
00:20:00,988 --> 00:20:02,253
You went while I was on
667
00:20:02,254 --> 00:20:03,254
vacation?!
668
00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:05,453
How'd you get into my house?
669
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:06,553
Which one of my family members
670
00:20:06,554 --> 00:20:06,921
did it?
671
00:20:06,922 --> 00:20:07,953
We're not saying a word.
672
00:20:07,954 --> 00:20:08,888
The person you'd least
673
00:20:08,889 --> 00:20:09,987
suspect, though, I promise you
674
00:20:09,988 --> 00:20:10,321
that.
675
00:20:10,321 --> 00:20:11,321
My mother?
676
00:20:11,421 --> 00:20:12,541
Did you take your shoes off?
677
00:20:12,988 --> 00:20:14,020
I took more than my shoes
678
00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:15,921
off.
37677
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