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Narrator: Coming up, what
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happens when murr asks all the
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wrong questions?
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When's the last time you made
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love?
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Oh!
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Oh, my god.
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Narrator: Will sal get too
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close for comfort?
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Has anyone been invading your
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personal space?
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Narrator: Can Joe find an old
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friend before it's too late?
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Larry! Larry!!
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Narrator: In our first-ever
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all "joker vs. Joker" special.
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Oh!
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All right, boys. I'm all in.
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Oh!
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Oh!
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Let's see 'em.
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There you go!
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Boom! That is a king!
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That is a single king!
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I got two spades and an old
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maid!
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I'll take your old maid and
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raise you a royal flush.
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Sal!
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Guys!
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There is only one single way to
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settle this.
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A head-to-head
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"joker vs. Joker" episode...
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All: To see who's the best.
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We're at the mall giving palm
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readings to shoppers.
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But as we read their palms,
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we've got to do and say what
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we're told.
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The goal is to get a tip.
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If you can't get a tip, you
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lose.
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Sal, do you want your palm
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read?
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Mm.
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Ow!
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It's red.
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Damn it!
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What's your name, bud?
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Miguel.
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Miguel. Okay, Miguel.
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This is your life line here.
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This is how you... you can tell
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you've got a good hand here.
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The more lines you have, the
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more information you get.
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Joe, give this reading like
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an old gypsy woman.
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The whole time.
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Uh...
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I can't wait to hear what his
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voice will be.
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You need to
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remember that when you, as a
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boy, grow up... you need to
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remember that there are demons.
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That will sometimes boo in your
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face and stab in the back, so,
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sometimes, you need to take it
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in and pull it out, take it
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in...
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keep it together!
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Keep it together!
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That is not a gypsy.
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This is the best gypsy I
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know.
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So, I go with.
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Joe, do as many quotes as you
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can.
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Four score and seven years
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ago, I had a dream.
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What does that
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have to do with anything?
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With great power, comes great
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responsibility.
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Do as many movie quotes as
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you can.
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King Kong ain't got nothing
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on me.
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Nobody said stop.
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Help me Obi-Wan.
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You're my only hope.
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Run, forrest, run.
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I ain't afraid of no ghosts.
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Me neither.
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Who are you gonna call?
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The ghostbusters?
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The ghostbusters.
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Show me the money.
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Oh, I got no money.
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Oh, you got no money.
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After all that bull
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there's no cash-eesh.
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Have you ever had your palms
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read before?
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Never.
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I will tell you, your life
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line goes deep.
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Oh, it looks right here,
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though, you might have a little
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bit of a rough patch.
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It looks like right here you
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might have a little bit of a
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rough patch.
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You should moisturize.
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You should...
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Uh, you should moisturize.
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Okay.
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Yeah, it'll get rid of that
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rough patch.
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Okay, I can tell...
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Okay, I can tell...
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by looking at your palm...
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by looking at your palm...
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that you're black.
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That you're black.
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Let's get the energy up.
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Let's get the energy up here
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a little bit.
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Shake them out a little bit.
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I want to get a sense of the
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energy.
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Now put his hands right on
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your face.
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Okay, put your hands up like
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this for me.
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Okay, I want to get a sense of
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your aura.
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Ready? Go.
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Nice.
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We see you, murr.
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We see you. Peek-a-boo.
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Murr, keep reading with your
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cheeks smushed.
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So, your life line is very
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deep.
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Yeah.
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I sense that you're going to
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live to your 80's.
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I'm trying to give you a very
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accurate reading.
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I'm trying to get a very
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accurate reading.
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'Cause one thing I don't like
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are ridiculous readings.
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You know, sometimes you get a
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reading and it's just... it's
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just ridiculous.
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If you feel like you've had a
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good reading, you're more than
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welcome to give a tip, but you
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don't have to.
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I would love to tip you, but
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this is what my tip went to.
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So, no tip?
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My tip line is empty.
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Yeah, that's right.
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If you knew tomorrow was your
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last day, what would you do?
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I'd be on a rampage... Blaze
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of glory.
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I'd be throwing pastries in my
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face.
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I'd be making out with everyone.
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I'd probably set something on
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fire.
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That's your rampage?
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Eating pastry?
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A lot of pastries.
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That's what you do now.
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The paramedics are here.
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Today we're offering free
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medical exams to people on the
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streets.
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During the checkup, you'll
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have to do and say what the
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other guys tell you.
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And if you refuse, you lose.
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Yeah!
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Ow!
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All right, sir.
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You'll feel a little pressure.
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Normal, obviously.
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Now, keep in mind with this
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number, world-trained athletes
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have 120 over 80.
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Keep in mind with this
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number, world-trained athletes
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have 120 over 80.
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Fat pieces of like
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me...
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Well, I'll tell you, for a
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big, old, fat sack of
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like me, I'm like 2 million over
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1 million.
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I have to put my belt on with
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a boomerang.
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I got to put my belt on with
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a boomerang.
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Seriously, if I broke my arm,
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gravy would come out.
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If my arm broke off, gravy
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would shoot out.
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My high-school yearbook photo
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was an aerial shot.
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My high-school yearbook photo
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was an aerial shot.
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I'm afraid to jump, 'cause I
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might get stuck.
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I'm afraid to jump, 'cause I
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might get stuck.
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You know that old, stupid joke,
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right?
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Just look into the light
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here.
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Directly in.
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Shoot straight with me,
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John.
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So, shoot straight with me,
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John.
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How long have you had these
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cooties?
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How long have you had these
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cooties that you have?
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Cooties?
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Yeah.
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I didn't even know about
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them.
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Easy peasy.
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I'm gonna blast two
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suppositories up your ass and
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call me in the morning.
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John, John, John-boy.
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All right, John.
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Easy peasy, John.
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I'm gonna blast...
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Easy peasy, John, I'm gonna
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blast...
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I'm gonna blast two
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suppositories up your ass...
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I got it! I got it, John.
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I got it here, John.
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Okay.
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Easy peasy, buddy, I'm gonna
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blast two...
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Easy peasy, John, I'm gonna
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blast two...
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John.
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How are you? You okay?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, cool.
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Joe, use nonsensical terms
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for everything.
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Okay, so, do you have a
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problem with your epigalapagos
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or your...
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Your epigalapagos.
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No?
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And you ever suffered from
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conjunctasaurus Rex?
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All right.
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Any problems downstairs with
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the Swahili nations?
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No, they're okay?
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And the veggie couscous is
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feeling okay?
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And about your Singapore
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express... it's all good?
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Narrator: Coming up, will q
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00:06:50,854 --> 00:06:52,520
bite off more than he can chew?
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Do you bite your nails?
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Nope.
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Do you mind if I do?
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Narrator: And later, will
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murr find what he's looking for?
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Can either of you recommend,
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like, a low-end...
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A low-end what?
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Rub 'n' tug place around
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giving mani-pedis.
292
00:07:08,321 --> 00:07:09,753
What is a mani-pedi and how
293
00:07:09,754 --> 00:07:10,488
do I give it?
294
00:07:10,488 --> 00:07:11,088
I don't know.
295
00:07:11,121 --> 00:07:12,153
We have to do and say
296
00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:13,420
whatever the other guys tell us.
297
00:07:13,421 --> 00:07:15,221
And if you refuse, you lose.
298
00:07:17,788 --> 00:07:18,987
Women... they know how to
299
00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:19,821
treat themselves.
300
00:07:19,821 --> 00:07:20,821
Yeah, women do this.
301
00:07:20,821 --> 00:07:21,588
Women do this.
302
00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:22,720
Women get massages.
303
00:07:22,721 --> 00:07:24,120
They do manicure-pedicures.
304
00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:25,420
The cucumber face.
305
00:07:25,421 --> 00:07:26,587
Mud face.
306
00:07:26,588 --> 00:07:27,088
Mud bath.
307
00:07:27,088 --> 00:07:27,388
Yeah.
308
00:07:27,388 --> 00:07:28,254
Right? Steams, salts.
309
00:07:28,254 --> 00:07:29,254
You don't treat yourself the
310
00:07:29,254 --> 00:07:29,821
way you should.
311
00:07:29,821 --> 00:07:30,454
You're right.
312
00:07:30,454 --> 00:07:31,354
I don't treat myself like I
313
00:07:31,354 --> 00:07:31,688
should.
314
00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:32,688
I'm gonna start treating myself
315
00:07:32,688 --> 00:07:33,254
like a woman.
316
00:07:33,254 --> 00:07:34,254
I treat myself like a woman
317
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:34,954
every single weekend.
318
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:35,954
We treat you like a woman,
319
00:07:35,954 --> 00:07:36,954
too.
320
00:07:38,221 --> 00:07:39,353
So, what in this picture
321
00:07:39,354 --> 00:07:40,354
doesn't belong?
322
00:07:40,355 --> 00:07:43,154
Right?
323
00:07:43,621 --> 00:07:47,087
There it is.
324
00:07:47,088 --> 00:07:48,487
Hello.
325
00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:51,287
Hi. I'm Brian. How are you?
326
00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:52,221
Okay. Lay your hands out.
327
00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,188
Do you bite your nails?
328
00:07:53,189 --> 00:07:55,120
Do you bite your nails?
329
00:07:55,121 --> 00:07:57,387
Do you mind if I do?
330
00:07:57,388 --> 00:07:59,353
Do you mind if I do?
331
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,720
Oh, okay. What a shame.
332
00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:01,753
Can you tell about what
333
00:08:01,754 --> 00:08:02,688
really chaps your ass?
334
00:08:02,689 --> 00:08:03,787
I'll tell you what really
335
00:08:03,788 --> 00:08:05,487
chaps my ass, though, is, uh...
336
00:08:05,488 --> 00:08:06,820
Like how soccer in the
337
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,287
United States isn't, like,
338
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,820
really respected as much as
339
00:08:09,821 --> 00:08:10,454
football.
340
00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:12,087
That really, really chaps my
341
00:08:12,088 --> 00:08:13,088
ass.
342
00:08:13,654 --> 00:08:15,987
See if you can get her to say
343
00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:18,221
what chaps her ass.
344
00:08:20,188 --> 00:08:24,553
What chaps your ass?
345
00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:27,653
Chaps your ass.
346
00:08:27,654 --> 00:08:29,120
Had my first colonoscopy last
347
00:08:29,121 --> 00:08:30,121
night.
348
00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:34,453
You know what a colo...
349
00:08:34,454 --> 00:08:36,753
Colonos... colonoscopy is?
350
00:08:36,754 --> 00:08:37,987
Yeah, my first one ever.
351
00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:39,287
Really chapped my ass.
352
00:08:39,288 --> 00:08:40,354
Really...
353
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,721
It really chapped my ass.
354
00:08:46,488 --> 00:08:47,620
Sophie? James.
355
00:08:47,621 --> 00:08:48,753
Nice to meet you.
356
00:08:48,754 --> 00:08:49,121
Welcome.
357
00:08:49,121 --> 00:08:49,988
You ever been here before?
358
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:50,321
Yes.
359
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:51,520
Great.
360
00:08:51,521 --> 00:08:52,421
Murr, what's the matter
361
00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:52,788
buddy?
362
00:08:52,789 --> 00:08:53,869
You look a little famished.
363
00:08:54,854 --> 00:08:56,187
Yeah! You're looking hungry.
364
00:08:56,188 --> 00:08:57,154
So, murr, there's a little
365
00:08:57,155 --> 00:09:00,487
package on the left right there.
366
00:09:00,488 --> 00:09:01,587
We got your lunch.
367
00:09:01,588 --> 00:09:02,888
We got you some ribs.
368
00:09:03,854 --> 00:09:05,153
Just take it out of the bag and
369
00:09:05,154 --> 00:09:07,088
put it in your mouth.
370
00:09:09,221 --> 00:09:10,354
You're...
371
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,220
All right, murr.
372
00:09:17,221 --> 00:09:19,087
Murr, you're disgusting.
373
00:09:19,088 --> 00:09:21,154
Ugh. Oh, my...
374
00:09:22,821 --> 00:09:24,220
drop a rib in that water and
375
00:09:24,221 --> 00:09:25,620
just have a rib floating around
376
00:09:25,621 --> 00:09:27,553
in the water.
377
00:09:27,554 --> 00:09:29,121
Oh!
378
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,454
Pick it up and eat it.
379
00:09:32,455 --> 00:09:34,387
Now eat it.
380
00:09:34,388 --> 00:09:35,520
Now eat it!
381
00:09:35,521 --> 00:09:36,853
Eat it!
382
00:09:36,854 --> 00:09:38,220
Eat it!
383
00:09:38,221 --> 00:09:40,654
Oh!
384
00:09:41,621 --> 00:09:42,288
Oh!
385
00:09:42,289 --> 00:09:44,221
Oh, my god.
386
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,787
You guys, uh, take care of
387
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,454
your eyebrows?
388
00:09:49,454 --> 00:09:50,088
I have to.
389
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,353
Yeah, I meant to talk to you
390
00:09:51,354 --> 00:09:52,354
about that, q.
391
00:09:53,154 --> 00:09:54,487
You look like Bert from Bert and
392
00:09:54,488 --> 00:09:55,488
Ernie.
393
00:09:56,788 --> 00:09:58,087
I actually shave my eyebrows
394
00:09:58,088 --> 00:09:59,088
with a straight razor.
395
00:09:59,088 --> 00:10:00,088
Is that weird?
396
00:10:00,088 --> 00:10:01,054
That is weird.
397
00:10:01,055 --> 00:10:02,321
We'll catch up with you guys
398
00:10:02,354 --> 00:10:04,087
later.
399
00:10:04,088 --> 00:10:05,287
We're posing as receptionists
400
00:10:05,288 --> 00:10:06,154
in a waiting room at a
401
00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:07,121
chiropractor's office, and
402
00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:08,220
we have to do what the other
403
00:10:08,221 --> 00:10:09,188
guys tell us.
404
00:10:09,189 --> 00:10:10,820
And if you refuse, you lose.
405
00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:11,920
We all look so good in our
406
00:10:11,921 --> 00:10:12,254
suits.
407
00:10:12,254 --> 00:10:13,121
I look professional.
408
00:10:13,122 --> 00:10:14,320
No, you look like a corporate
409
00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:15,321
Fred flintstone.
410
00:10:18,854 --> 00:10:19,521
How are you?
411
00:10:19,522 --> 00:10:20,587
Okay. How are you doing?
412
00:10:20,588 --> 00:10:21,021
Good.
413
00:10:21,022 --> 00:10:22,253
You can just sign in right over
414
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:22,588
here.
415
00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:23,054
Yes, sir.
416
00:10:23,054 --> 00:10:24,054
Hey, can either of you
417
00:10:24,055 --> 00:10:25,253
recommend a low-end rub 'n' tug
418
00:10:25,254 --> 00:10:27,420
spot around here?
419
00:10:27,421 --> 00:10:30,487
I just, uh...
420
00:10:30,488 --> 00:10:31,587
Can either of you recommend,
421
00:10:31,588 --> 00:10:34,687
like, a low-end...
422
00:10:34,688 --> 00:10:36,620
Rub 'n' tug place around here?
423
00:10:36,621 --> 00:10:38,288
A low-end what?
424
00:10:39,554 --> 00:10:40,854
A low-end rub 'n' tug place.
425
00:10:43,121 --> 00:10:45,520
Uh, like, a low-end rub 'n' tug
426
00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:46,521
place?
427
00:10:47,088 --> 00:10:48,021
A rug 'n' tub.
428
00:10:48,021 --> 00:10:48,521
Yes.
429
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:49,753
I thought you said a
430
00:10:49,754 --> 00:10:50,621
"rub 'n' tug."
431
00:10:50,622 --> 00:10:51,753
No, I said "rug 'n' tub,"
432
00:10:51,754 --> 00:10:52,254
actually.
433
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:54,220
No, no, no, no, no, no.
434
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:54,854
I'm sorry.
435
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,120
A rug 'n' tub place, sir.
436
00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:57,587
I'm furnishing my apartment.
437
00:10:57,588 --> 00:10:59,020
I just moved to New York two
438
00:10:59,021 --> 00:10:59,688
weeks ago.
439
00:10:59,689 --> 00:11:00,887
Oh! A rug and tub.
440
00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:02,153
Bed bath & beyond, okay?
441
00:11:02,154 --> 00:11:03,320
Okay. That's great.
442
00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:04,288
Yeah, bed bath & beyond.
443
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,553
Okay, so I'll go to
444
00:11:05,554 --> 00:11:06,887
bed bath & beyond.
445
00:11:06,888 --> 00:11:07,888
Do you guys know a place to get
446
00:11:07,888 --> 00:11:08,888
jerked off?
447
00:11:13,621 --> 00:11:15,253
Hi, scooter. How are you?
448
00:11:15,254 --> 00:11:16,887
Right here.
449
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:18,387
How you doing?
450
00:11:18,388 --> 00:11:19,354
Good. This is for you.
451
00:11:19,355 --> 00:11:20,587
Joe, the mail's got to go
452
00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:20,921
out.
453
00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:21,621
Where's Larry?
454
00:11:21,622 --> 00:11:26,320
You got to find Larry, bro.
455
00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:31,553
Larry.
456
00:11:31,554 --> 00:11:32,221
Larry.
457
00:11:32,222 --> 00:11:34,220
Joe, these fedexes got to go
458
00:11:34,221 --> 00:11:34,754
out.
459
00:11:34,755 --> 00:11:35,920
You need Larry.
460
00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:38,320
Larry!
461
00:11:38,321 --> 00:11:39,453
He's got to get these out by
462
00:11:39,454 --> 00:11:40,753
8:45.
463
00:11:40,754 --> 00:11:41,354
Larry.
464
00:11:41,355 --> 00:11:42,853
I mean, they only got 10
465
00:11:42,854 --> 00:11:43,521
minutes.
466
00:11:43,522 --> 00:11:46,587
Larry. Larry.
467
00:11:46,588 --> 00:11:49,087
Larry!
468
00:11:49,088 --> 00:11:51,353
He's got to be down on two.
469
00:11:51,354 --> 00:11:54,220
Should send a message to Larry.
470
00:11:54,221 --> 00:11:55,221
Send.
471
00:11:57,321 --> 00:11:58,787
Larry!
472
00:11:58,788 --> 00:12:00,087
Where's Larry?
473
00:12:00,088 --> 00:12:01,487
Larry! Larry!
474
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,953
Where is he, buddy?
475
00:12:02,954 --> 00:12:04,588
Larry!
476
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:07,821
Larry!
477
00:12:14,221 --> 00:12:15,521
Larry!!
478
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,153
Narrator: Coming up, what's
479
00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:20,721
pizza.
480
00:12:20,722 --> 00:12:21,920
Well, guess what.
481
00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:23,553
We're gonna make it infamous.
482
00:12:23,554 --> 00:12:25,353
We're at da Vince pizzeria
483
00:12:25,354 --> 00:12:27,387
helping customers get a slice.
484
00:12:27,388 --> 00:12:27,888
Oh!
485
00:12:27,889 --> 00:12:29,187
We got to do and say whatever
486
00:12:29,188 --> 00:12:30,320
we're told.
487
00:12:30,321 --> 00:12:31,487
If you refuse, you lose.
488
00:12:31,488 --> 00:12:32,788
All: Oh!
489
00:12:38,088 --> 00:12:40,153
How are you, sir?
490
00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:41,920
Two slices, stay or to go?
491
00:12:41,921 --> 00:12:43,253
That'll be $5, sir.
492
00:12:43,254 --> 00:12:43,988
Real quick.
493
00:12:43,988 --> 00:12:44,721
Real quick.
494
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,153
When's the last time you made
495
00:12:46,154 --> 00:12:47,154
love?
496
00:12:49,288 --> 00:12:50,420
That's $5.
497
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,321
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
498
00:12:51,322 --> 00:12:52,853
When's the last time you made
499
00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:54,320
love?
500
00:12:54,321 --> 00:12:55,121
Last night?
501
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:59,088
Oh!
502
00:13:02,154 --> 00:13:03,320
I love this guy.
503
00:13:03,321 --> 00:13:04,321
I love this guy.
504
00:13:04,322 --> 00:13:05,920
I got to tell you, I love
505
00:13:05,921 --> 00:13:06,454
pizza.
506
00:13:06,455 --> 00:13:08,187
My grandfather taught me two
507
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:08,754
things.
508
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,120
My grandfather taught me two
509
00:13:10,121 --> 00:13:10,588
things.
510
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:11,820
How to make great pizza.
511
00:13:11,821 --> 00:13:13,187
One, how to make great pizza.
512
00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:13,754
Two...
513
00:13:13,754 --> 00:13:14,288
Two...
514
00:13:14,289 --> 00:13:16,720
how to French kiss.
515
00:13:16,721 --> 00:13:20,321
Two, how to French kiss.
516
00:13:23,588 --> 00:13:24,554
How are you?
517
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:25,920
Three slices of round to go,
518
00:13:25,921 --> 00:13:27,287
and I need them sliced in half.
519
00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:28,387
Does she remind you of
520
00:13:28,388 --> 00:13:28,888
someone?
521
00:13:28,889 --> 00:13:30,087
She does remind me of
522
00:13:30,088 --> 00:13:30,554
somebody.
523
00:13:30,555 --> 00:13:31,653
I think it's her jacket.
524
00:13:31,654 --> 00:13:32,221
I got it.
525
00:13:32,222 --> 00:13:33,387
Beetlejuice, beetlejuice,
526
00:13:33,388 --> 00:13:34,388
beetlejuice.
527
00:13:37,088 --> 00:13:38,253
Go up to her and go,
528
00:13:38,254 --> 00:13:39,787
"beetlejuice, beetlejuice,
529
00:13:39,788 --> 00:13:40,954
beetlejuice."
530
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:43,520
Okay, it'll be ready in just
531
00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:44,454
one second, okay?
532
00:13:44,454 --> 00:13:45,188
No rush.
533
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:46,320
Murr, ask her if she wants a
534
00:13:46,321 --> 00:13:46,654
hero.
535
00:13:46,655 --> 00:13:47,753
Ma'am, do you want a hero?
536
00:13:47,754 --> 00:13:48,820
Six foot, seven foot, eight
537
00:13:48,821 --> 00:13:49,821
foot.
538
00:13:52,621 --> 00:13:53,821
No way.
539
00:13:57,188 --> 00:13:59,887
All right, stop showing off.
540
00:13:59,888 --> 00:14:00,721
One slice? Yes.
541
00:14:00,721 --> 00:14:01,588
Q, do me a favor.
542
00:14:01,589 --> 00:14:02,887
Just get awkwardly close to this
543
00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:03,953
guy and just stare into his
544
00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:04,788
eyes.
545
00:14:04,789 --> 00:14:06,553
Look right into this guy's soul,
546
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,820
and do some soul-searching.
547
00:14:09,821 --> 00:14:11,153
I haven't seen you here
548
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:11,688
before.
549
00:14:11,689 --> 00:14:12,853
Yeah, no. I'm new.
550
00:14:12,854 --> 00:14:14,420
Q, win this staring contest
551
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,653
or you lose.
552
00:14:16,654 --> 00:14:17,820
Deep in there.
553
00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:18,853
He's been through some stuff,
554
00:14:18,854 --> 00:14:19,288
this guy.
555
00:14:19,788 --> 00:14:22,087
His soul's in there deeper.
556
00:14:22,088 --> 00:14:23,220
This is getting intense down
557
00:14:23,221 --> 00:14:23,554
there.
558
00:14:23,554 --> 00:14:24,554
The battle is on.
559
00:14:28,188 --> 00:14:30,820
Keep staring.
560
00:14:30,821 --> 00:14:31,987
This guy's looking back into
561
00:14:31,988 --> 00:14:32,554
the q's soul.
562
00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:33,620
Yeah, he's not gonna like
563
00:14:33,621 --> 00:14:37,087
what he sees.
564
00:14:37,088 --> 00:14:38,187
He's seeing your soul and
565
00:14:38,188 --> 00:14:43,420
raising you one.
566
00:14:43,421 --> 00:14:45,088
Q wins the contest.
567
00:14:47,588 --> 00:14:49,087
Well, we wanted to be
568
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,820
lifeguards, but they said we
569
00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:51,554
couldn't.
570
00:14:51,554 --> 00:14:52,188
Who they?
571
00:14:52,189 --> 00:14:53,520
They, you know who they are.
572
00:14:53,521 --> 00:14:54,553
They.
573
00:14:54,554 --> 00:14:55,454
So, instead, we are
574
00:14:55,455 --> 00:14:56,653
patrolling the beach, and we've
575
00:14:56,654 --> 00:14:57,787
got to do and say what we're
576
00:14:57,788 --> 00:14:58,288
told.
577
00:14:58,289 --> 00:14:59,820
If you refuse, you lose and
578
00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:00,521
they win.
579
00:15:00,522 --> 00:15:02,621
Who they?
580
00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:07,653
Q, go over to that tent.
581
00:15:07,654 --> 00:15:08,154
Hello.
582
00:15:08,154 --> 00:15:08,654
Hi.
583
00:15:08,655 --> 00:15:09,687
My name's Brian.
584
00:15:09,688 --> 00:15:10,887
I'm from beach patrol.
585
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:11,654
How are you?
586
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:12,787
We got a report that somebody
587
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:15,620
in the area was pitching a tent.
588
00:15:15,621 --> 00:15:16,720
And you guys have a tent here,
589
00:15:16,721 --> 00:15:17,787
so I just wanted to make sure
590
00:15:17,788 --> 00:15:18,754
everything was okay.
591
00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:19,754
So, crawl through that tent,
592
00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:20,887
q.
593
00:15:20,888 --> 00:15:22,187
So, oh, boy. Look at this.
594
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,453
You got a nice setup in here.
595
00:15:23,454 --> 00:15:24,820
Well, I got to tell you, it's an
596
00:15:24,821 --> 00:15:26,120
absolute pleasure to meet you,
597
00:15:26,121 --> 00:15:27,121
ladies.
598
00:15:27,221 --> 00:15:28,453
And, you know, I'm just gonna
599
00:15:28,454 --> 00:15:29,321
patrol the beach.
600
00:15:29,322 --> 00:15:30,687
If you guys need me, just scream
601
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:33,820
out for me.
602
00:15:33,821 --> 00:15:35,787
It just got weird.
603
00:15:35,788 --> 00:15:37,720
It just got weird.
604
00:15:37,721 --> 00:15:38,421
It got quiet.
605
00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:39,388
You just break in and
606
00:15:39,388 --> 00:15:39,921
entered.
607
00:15:39,922 --> 00:15:41,320
I don't feel like you guys
608
00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:42,720
understand the power of long,
609
00:15:42,721 --> 00:15:44,487
flowing hair on a beach.
610
00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:45,520
Everybody that comes to this
611
00:15:45,521 --> 00:15:46,587
beach just seems to me to be an
612
00:15:46,588 --> 00:15:47,887
absolutely lovely person.
613
00:15:47,888 --> 00:15:48,854
I just got to do a quick
614
00:15:48,854 --> 00:15:49,854
camel toe check.
615
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:58,320
Just gonna do a quick...
616
00:15:58,321 --> 00:15:59,387
Time check.
617
00:15:59,388 --> 00:16:01,188
Yeah, there you go.
618
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,088
Yep, 12:30.
619
00:16:02,089 --> 00:16:03,488
Ladies, thank you very much.
620
00:16:04,454 --> 00:16:05,154
Are you guys okay?
621
00:16:05,155 --> 00:16:06,353
Do you need help with anything?
622
00:16:06,354 --> 00:16:07,088
No, it's okay.
623
00:16:07,088 --> 00:16:07,988
You sure it's... okay.
624
00:16:07,988 --> 00:16:08,921
Sal, there's too many
625
00:16:08,922 --> 00:16:10,087
umbrellas open on this beach,
626
00:16:10,088 --> 00:16:10,354
buddy.
627
00:16:10,355 --> 00:16:11,420
Blocking the view, too.
628
00:16:11,421 --> 00:16:12,354
I can't see over those
629
00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:12,888
umbrellas.
630
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,120
Why don't you start closing
631
00:16:14,121 --> 00:16:16,421
some umbrellas out there?
632
00:16:17,321 --> 00:16:18,254
How we doing?
633
00:16:18,255 --> 00:16:19,753
How's everything? Okay?
634
00:16:19,754 --> 00:16:21,687
Can I just do this here and put
635
00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:23,487
that like that just to keep it
636
00:16:23,488 --> 00:16:25,453
in control.
637
00:16:25,454 --> 00:16:26,154
Everyone good?
638
00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:26,654
Yeah.
639
00:16:26,655 --> 00:16:27,953
And we're just gonna do one
640
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:30,220
of these.
641
00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:31,453
Be good, guys. Enjoy the day.
642
00:16:31,454 --> 00:16:32,321
Guys, how we doing?
643
00:16:32,321 --> 00:16:33,088
Everybody okay?
644
00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:33,688
Good, good.
645
00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:34,853
Everybody have sun block or
646
00:16:34,854 --> 00:16:35,388
anything?
647
00:16:35,388 --> 00:16:35,954
Be careful.
648
00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:37,253
The water's a little bit heavy
649
00:16:37,254 --> 00:16:37,688
today.
650
00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:38,920
Just gonna do this with this
651
00:16:38,921 --> 00:16:39,221
guy.
652
00:16:39,222 --> 00:16:40,387
We're just gonna do that.
653
00:16:40,388 --> 00:16:41,354
Watch your head there.
654
00:16:41,355 --> 00:16:43,453
All right, I'll watch my head.
655
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:44,653
We're just gonna... we're just
656
00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:45,554
gonna do it like that.
657
00:16:45,555 --> 00:16:46,675
All right, have a great day.
658
00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:51,887
Sal, you see the couple right
659
00:16:51,888 --> 00:16:52,521
behind you?
660
00:16:52,522 --> 00:16:54,153
Sneak up behind them and whisper
661
00:16:54,154 --> 00:16:58,887
right to their ears.
662
00:16:58,888 --> 00:17:01,254
Oh, here goes nothing.
663
00:17:05,088 --> 00:17:07,187
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
664
00:17:07,188 --> 00:17:09,620
Oh, my...
665
00:17:09,621 --> 00:17:10,753
are you guys safe?
666
00:17:10,754 --> 00:17:12,087
Everything's okay?
667
00:17:12,088 --> 00:17:13,253
Anybody bothering you or
668
00:17:13,254 --> 00:17:14,221
anything like that?
669
00:17:14,222 --> 00:17:15,587
Has anyone been invading your
670
00:17:15,588 --> 00:17:16,588
personal space?
671
00:17:16,589 --> 00:17:17,621
No.
672
00:17:20,454 --> 00:17:21,753
You know, I'm deathly afraid
673
00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:22,953
of getting eaten by a shark.
674
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:24,287
You mean you're scared of it
675
00:17:24,288 --> 00:17:25,553
right now while you're on land?
676
00:17:25,554 --> 00:17:26,554
Yes.
677
00:17:26,555 --> 00:17:27,820
I'll tell you what the
678
00:17:27,821 --> 00:17:29,153
scariest thing in the world
679
00:17:29,154 --> 00:17:30,520
would be... hands down, if a
680
00:17:30,521 --> 00:17:31,853
shark could chase you to the
681
00:17:31,854 --> 00:17:33,220
shoreline and then, at that
682
00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:34,687
point, get up on legs and chase
683
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,620
after you.
684
00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:37,820
Sal and q have to play a
685
00:17:37,821 --> 00:17:39,253
little game we like to call miss
686
00:17:39,254 --> 00:17:39,921
and a swing.
687
00:17:39,922 --> 00:17:41,153
What is miss and a swing?
688
00:17:41,154 --> 00:17:42,154
It's pretty simple.
689
00:17:42,155 --> 00:17:43,587
All you've got to do, gentlemen,
690
00:17:43,588 --> 00:17:44,987
is sink one shot from the top of
691
00:17:44,988 --> 00:17:45,454
the key.
692
00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:45,954
That's it.
693
00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:46,521
That's not it.
694
00:17:46,521 --> 00:17:47,154
That's not it.
695
00:17:47,154 --> 00:17:47,721
That's not it.
696
00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:48,621
Every time you miss, you're
697
00:17:48,621 --> 00:17:49,621
gonna get whacked in the leg by
698
00:17:49,622 --> 00:17:52,220
this little girl.
699
00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:54,187
In front of this crowd.
700
00:17:54,188 --> 00:17:55,487
All: Yeah!
701
00:17:55,488 --> 00:17:58,087
Both: Miss and a swing!
702
00:17:58,088 --> 00:17:59,420
All right, q, let's do it.
703
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:00,753
Let me tell you right now who
704
00:18:00,754 --> 00:18:01,987
I'm not afraid of... this punk
705
00:18:01,988 --> 00:18:03,487
right here.
706
00:18:03,488 --> 00:18:04,920
Is he trash-talking a
707
00:18:04,921 --> 00:18:05,953
5th-grade girl?
708
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:06,654
Oh, you scared.
709
00:18:06,654 --> 00:18:07,321
I'm in your head.
710
00:18:07,322 --> 00:18:08,353
All right, I don't want to
711
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,254
have to call the police.
712
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,553
Could you just take a shot, q?
713
00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:11,687
I can't wait till she gets to
714
00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:12,088
unload.
715
00:18:12,089 --> 00:18:13,253
You're not even gonna hit the
716
00:18:13,254 --> 00:18:13,754
backboard.
717
00:18:13,755 --> 00:18:14,953
Q, just hit one shot, and you
718
00:18:14,954 --> 00:18:17,888
don't get hit at all.
719
00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:19,488
All: Oh!
720
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:22,354
Hit him. Hit him. Hit him.
721
00:18:25,654 --> 00:18:26,488
Get him!
722
00:18:26,489 --> 00:18:27,720
Aah!
723
00:18:27,721 --> 00:18:29,820
Good job. Good job. Yeah!
724
00:18:29,821 --> 00:18:31,453
She packs a wallop.
725
00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:32,920
You make this shot, you're
726
00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:34,854
done.
727
00:18:35,354 --> 00:18:37,153
All: Oh!
728
00:18:37,154 --> 00:18:38,121
Please don't...
729
00:18:38,122 --> 00:18:39,587
Oh, my god, she...
730
00:18:39,588 --> 00:18:45,288
oh, right in the shin.
731
00:18:45,954 --> 00:18:46,788
Oh, my god.
732
00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:47,853
That was awful.
733
00:18:47,854 --> 00:18:49,220
Hey, that was terrible.
734
00:18:49,221 --> 00:18:50,221
Wait, please.
735
00:18:50,222 --> 00:18:52,987
Aah! Oh!
736
00:18:52,988 --> 00:18:55,120
Oh, I said, "please don't!"
737
00:18:55,121 --> 00:18:57,387
She hit him in the kneecap.
738
00:18:57,388 --> 00:18:58,821
Right in. Right in. Right in.
739
00:19:00,321 --> 00:19:01,520
I got somewhere to be.
740
00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:03,087
You don't know what it's like
741
00:19:03,088 --> 00:19:04,088
to have... oh, my god.
742
00:19:05,421 --> 00:19:06,453
Aah!
743
00:19:06,454 --> 00:19:07,720
What? I didn't hear you.
744
00:19:07,721 --> 00:19:08,753
I didn't catch that.
745
00:19:08,754 --> 00:19:09,721
Hold on. Ready?
746
00:19:09,722 --> 00:19:11,087
He's going old-school.
747
00:19:11,088 --> 00:19:13,388
Q's going old-school.
748
00:19:13,888 --> 00:19:18,787
Aah!
749
00:19:18,788 --> 00:19:19,788
Oh
750
00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:28,687
Look how disheveled q looks
751
00:19:28,688 --> 00:19:30,487
right now.
752
00:19:30,488 --> 00:19:31,653
You're a mess, man.
753
00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:33,087
I'm gonna wrap this up.
754
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,520
I'm gonna wrap this up right
755
00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,087
now.
756
00:19:36,088 --> 00:19:37,321
Right in, right in!
757
00:19:42,288 --> 00:19:45,253
Whoo! Yeah!
758
00:19:45,254 --> 00:19:47,520
In your face! In your face!
759
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,087
Let's go, sal.
760
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,254
Come on, sal. You're up, boy.
761
00:19:57,388 --> 00:20:00,887
Aah!
762
00:20:00,888 --> 00:20:02,887
Yeah!
763
00:20:02,888 --> 00:20:05,954
Yeah!
764
00:20:06,954 --> 00:20:08,253
Thank god.
765
00:20:08,254 --> 00:20:09,620
Thank god.
766
00:20:09,621 --> 00:20:13,120
Aah!
767
00:20:13,121 --> 00:20:15,988
Oh, that was so wrong!
42084
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