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Remember,
you don't do anything.

Just scout it out.

First sign of anything,
you come grab me. We clear?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, I got this.

If I find something, I
come out and call you.

I know, I got it.
- Good.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

I found
it. I found it.

Negative. If you have
confirmation, retreat.

- I'm going in.
- Negative.

If you have
confirmation, retreat.

Lucas. Lucas.

Ah.

Adrian, Adrian. I
got her, I got her.

Hello?

I hear something.

I hear something.

Lucas?

Lost him.

Another night is gone.

Marcus, is that you?

Yeah, it's me.

Come a little, come
a little closer, son.

You remember Aidan?
He works for me.

- Yeah, course.
- Marcus.

I'll give you guys some time.

Okay.

And there you are. My boy.

There's something
I gotta tell you.

I've needed to tell you
this for a long time.

What is it?

There's a small group that's
been around for centuries

known as The Knights Society.

And their main
job is to protect.

They seek out and
destroy the undead,

banish them back to Hell.

Sounds like one of
the comic books I'm reading.

Don't laugh,
depending on the comic book,

there are codes from the Society

that indicate orders
to be carried out.

And I need to tell you
about your birthright.

Shit, Dad, was I adopted?

No.

No. You are my blood.

What's this?

That's the coin of a knight.

Open this. Open it.

Easy, easy, easy

with that stuff.

That's been around
for three generations.

That's all about your bloodline.

Now I know that you like
to collect all kinds

of really cool
stuff for your bar.

Who's this?

Ah, just keep
reading, keep reading.

Read. Go on.

I, I don't
know what I'm reading here.

What are you trying
to tell me, Dad?

That's all about your
great-great-grandfather.

Uh, no shit?

Wow, ah...

I've
never heard anything

about your side of the family.

And I, I tried to
do a family tree

a few years ago
for your birthday.

I couldn't find anything.
- Oh.

I learned that Mom's
side were bootleggers

from Kansas City.

My side were knights.

And just keep reading.
Check that out.

I wanna leave this world knowing

that you understand
what I'm telling you.

Oh, you got me.

This is about Dr.
A. Van Helsing.

And about the Society
that our family formed.

Ah, um, I'm not following.

What does Van Helsing
have to do with me?

And, and what's, what's
the Knight Society?

He was your
great-great-grandfather.

What?

The fictional character
in the monster novels?

Yes. Yeah, fiction is
most often based in truth.

Dad, just because we
have similar sounding names

does not mean that--
- "Von Helsin"

was "Van Helsing."

What are you telling me?

When they came
through Ellis Island,

they thought it was a misprint,

and they really
couldn't understand

his heavy Dutch accent,

so the name was altered forever.

"Van Helsing"
became "Von Helsin."

You're serious?

Yes.

That is your
great-great-grandfather,

Van Helsing. And that other
picture

is a man that we believe

killed your
great-great-grandfather.

Son, our family has been in
the hunting game for centuries

- Vampire hunters?
- Yeah.

All those stories you
heard, they're true.

He was a hunter.

And, um, I've just been
waiting for the right time

to, ah, to share
all this with you.

So you're saying that
my great-great-grandfather

is the famous vampire
hunter, Van Helsing?

Yes.

Uh, written about in
the damn horror novels?

Yes.

And we come from a long
generation of hunters?

Yes.

And I'm a Van Helsing?

No, you're a Von
Helsin without the G.

Okay, so, ah, now what?

That coin is now
your birthright,

and someday you'll share
that with your blood.

Do you want me to,
to hunt vampires?

Revenge, extinguish

all of them.

That man.

He's identified by
the Society as Michael Connor,

and the man who killed your
great-great-grandfather.

Aidan will help you get settled.

Son,

carrying out this tradition

is God's will.

Dad.

Dad.

- What are you doing?
- Hi, Mom.

- One sec.
- Tell Aunt Julie I said hi.

How did
you know it was me?

'Cause I have caller id.

Oh, yes, the
caller ID.

Why do you waste your
money on things like that?

I don't. It comes
with the phone.

- Does mine?
- Yes.

Along with a bunch of other
things that you don't use.

Oh, really?

Before I forget, are you
coming up this weekend

for the family retreat?

You said you might.
- No, I can't.

I have a few things to
handle for work. Sorry.

What
do you have to handle?

More dates with
strange men? Please.

You might find a nice
man at the retreat.

Someone who will accept
you for who you are.

Mom, I'm good.
It's part of my job.

I go on the dates and then I
blog about them afterwards.

Sounds like a
stupid way to find a man.

Who pays for these
so-called dates?

And how do you make
money with this bogging?

I'm worried about you.

Listen to your mother
and come to the retreat.

- It's called blogging.
- What is?

My job, Mom. It's what I do.

Mom, I have people
that pay me to do this.

This is a real job.

Go
out with strange men?

Sounds like one of
those escorts. Contessa.

You're not an escort, right?

No, I am not an escort,

but I am totally miserable
with what I received

from your side of the family.

Tessie,
don't say that.

You know how many people would

love to have what you have?

Yeah, I'm sure.
Mom, I have to go.

You need to
come to this retreat.

Just think, you could
meet your soulmate.

Just the way I met your father.

Um, I cannot do that,
but I can send Laura.

Laura? You know that
child doesn't have the gift.

The only gift she
has is annoyance .

And she gets that
from my poor brother.

That's true. Mom,
let me call you back.

I have to go.
- Okay, dear.

I love you.
- Me too, bye.

That's so not true. I have
good traits I get from my dad.

What's up, Laura?

I was gonna take you
to breakfast. Remember?

Oh, cuz, I can't.
I have to do work.

I have too much to do.
Can we go tomorrow?

Fine.

Thanks. Do you wanna lock
yourself out when you leave?

And
she throws me out.

You know, you're
lucky I love you.

See you tomorrow.

Locked.

Oh.

Let's see.

Oh, a date tonight. Perfect.

Steve.

Steve. I like that.

Steve. It's very mature, Steve.

Steve and Tess.

Okay. That's nuts.

All right.

"Dear Tess, let's
talk about manners.

Why do grown men forget
that they were taught this

or should have been
at an early age?

My date the entire night was
belching various names

at me all night."

What?

Oh no. Okay.

Ew. Okay, first of all,
let's break it down.

Belching at the dinner table,
that is not cute nor polite.

Some cultures find it respectful
to belch after a good meal.

They find it to be
complimentary towards the chef.

Okay, I get it, but belching

while saying random names
is not cute nor polite.

It's just rude.

Dump him.

I mean, I would've
bit his head off.

"Dear Tess, my first date
was a bit on the boring side.

He kept talking and all I wanted
to do was jump his bones."

Oh my gosh. Settle
down, tigress.

A first date should be
like a job interview.

Two people finding out
if they can get along

and are interested in building
something cool together.

Jumping their bones the
first night takes away

the mystery and the excitement.

That's what I think.

But you never take
your own advice.

- Yo.
- Hi, Steve?

- Steve-O, please.
- Oh, Steve-O.

I'm sorry.
- Hey, who this pretty voice,

sweetheart?
- This is Tess

returning your
call back tonight.

Oh, yeah. 7:00 PM, Renfield's.

I'll see you there.

Steve-O.

Steve-O.

Steve-O.

Vanessa.

My eyes deceive me,
but so much like her.

Mm. I need to take you
to my father's place.

You will love it.
They have everything.

The chef is pretty unique
in what he whips up.

Tell me your name.

It's Trudy.

How you doing?
Thanks for coming.

I'm, I'm Steve-O.

I beg your pardon?

You just asked me
what my name was.

Did I?

Mm.

Nice. Go easy.

You're gonna give me diabetes.

- I can smell your cologne.
- Oh, th-thank you.

You like it? It's, you
know the Dollar Store?

You, you used to
go to Dollar Store,

nothing there, and now
you can get everything.

They get the cologne,
they get everything

you need there, it's good.
- I could smell it

when I walked in the front door.

- More cake?
- Mm.

Yeah, you look, you
look real nice tonight.

What, what, what is
it? Louis, Gucci?

What do you got, what do you
got going on here? Huh, huh?

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Ah, so we got sangria?

We do, we do. Got sangria,
the red wine sangria.

Hey, you, you come here a lot?

- Yes, I do.
- You been here before?

Yeah? What do you...

You know, I, I just got some
of the piggies in the blanket,

and I don't know about you,

but I got a big side of mustard,

'cause I like putting mustard
on the piggies in the blanket.

I like the piggy
and the blanket,

and you know, it goes really
well, pairs really well

with the garlic
cheese bread here.

I've been coming to
this place for 15 years,

so I think we're gonna
have a real good time.

Oh, and I'm so sorry.

I forgot the, the
best part of all this.

I got some shrimp
cocktail for you.

And I know you, I know you
like the cocktail sauce,

so I got a bunch of cocktail
sauce for us to just nibble on.

And we'll talk about each
other, talk about you.

I wanna know a lot about you.
I don't, I'm talking a lot.

I'm talking a lot. I
know I'm talking a lot.

I'm gonna let you talk 'cause
I wanna hear about your life.

I know you're, you're a blogger,

real interested in the
blogging that you do.

Let me out!

Let me out of here!

Let me out!

Let me out of
here, you asshole!

Do you know who my father is?

Let me out of here!

My father will bury you!

Steve.

- Hey.
- Seriously,

that was so much fun.
- Hey,

you are so damn beautiful, huh?

You wanna maybe

- No, thank you, I can't.
- go back?

I have an early
morning planned.

Okay. Maybe another night.

Another, different night?

Yeah. We'll talk.

Hey, ah, where, where'd
you park down here?

Let me walk you.
- You really don't need to.

- No, all right, hey, hey.
- I'm right here.

- I'm a gentleman.
- Steve-O, it's really okay.

It's a dark night
in this scary alley.

Let, let me walk you. Come on.

Come on.
- Steve.

Please, call me Steve-O.

- Steve-O, stop seriously.
- Huh?

Okay, okay, okay. All right.

- Not tonight.
- All right.

Well, hey, maybe we
should do this again. Huh?

I like you, you like me.

We had good time, huh?

Yeah, definitely. We'll talk.

- Yeah?
- I'm, I'm a little busy

next week, but...
- Well, maybe

next weekend, huh?

- We'll talk.
- We're talking right now.

Okay?

Well, have a good night. Huh?

Have a good night, Steve.

- Steve-O.
- Did I do something wrong?

No.

I felt a bit, ah, slighted.

- "Slighted?"
- Slighted.

I mean, we, we put
it on the phone, huh?

And I take you out. And
I dropped 375 bucks!

- Steve-O, I've had-
- We left, I figure you wanna,

Shut up!

All I wanted was a hug
and to take you out again.

Why wait until next time, huh?

- Steve, stop, stop!
- Huh, huh, huh?

Get off of me! Uh!

Look, I...

Look, I like you.

Well, I don't in
that way. Leave.

Hey, hey!

You shouldn't tease a man
and dress the way you do

with these little short
dresses you got on.

Huh? You shouldn't do that.

A woman in a dress
is not an invitation

for a man to have
his way with her!

Get the fuck away from me!

Ah, wait, wait, wait. Is
that, is that your story?

Is that what you
think I'm doing here?

Is, is that what you're
gonna write about

in your shitty
little blog tomorrow?

Huh, you gonna say, "I went out

with such a bad man last night.

He was so bad. He
attacked me last night."

That's why people
do crazy things.

You, you, you, you women,
you, you lead us on

and make us spend our
hard-earned money on you.

You take advantage of us,
you make us think that

we're gonna, we have a chance,
we're gonna get something.

You're, you're gonna put out!

Chicks put out all
day, every day,

whenever the hell they want to,

but the second that a
man attempts to get some,

he's labeled as a rapist!

Huh? You gonna write about
that in your little blog?

Good night, Steve.

You know, you're
not even worth it.

You're not worth it, honey.

You're a whore! Huh?

Bitches love Steve-O!

Bitches love
Steve-0, sweetheart!

Mm!

Dammit.

Mm! Damn.

Uh.

Well I'm fighting battles
with impossible odds.

I look down at this
symbol of celebration.

You know what it does?

It lets me know that no
matter how bad things are,

the end of it telling 'em,
"Put them red panties on,

Daddy's coming home.

It's a celebration, baby."

So never say that I
don't know about fashion

'cause I'm wearing red
Penney's on my wrist, huh.

Yeah, Aidan knows fashion.

He usually just gets
dressed in the dark.

Hawkin' me out.

I don't even know
why I come here.

Oh, that's right. I
promised your dad.

Huh, and the drinks are cheap.

And I put up with your shit.

Well, that's it.

Hey, whatever
happened to that clown

you had in the front, the
Siamese, weird, petrified thing?

Yeah. Freaked a
few customers out.

I had to move it
to the courtyard.

Are you serious?
That thing was badass.

Ah, can't make everybody happy.

Another one.

There she is.
Pepper's in the house.

Boo

We need to talk.

Yeah, yeah, just, ah,
meet me in the back.

Seriously? Wow.

She's been gathering
intel for me.

It'll be okay. Hey Aidan,
watch the bar for me.

- Let me get another beer.
- Sure.

Just add it to your tab.

What are you talking
about? Doing a job for you?

Yeah, I'm protecting
this establishment,

handling your customers,
and doing it with class.

It deserves two
drinks on the house.

Okay. Grab a glass of water.

For what?

Pretend it's a glass of gin.

Oh my God. What?

Wow. You got jokes now.

You should probably put
that bit up on stage

with those other shitty acts.
- Ah, wow, hey, thanks.

I'm just being serious, bro.

So what's up buddy?
Want another drink?

- Hell, yeah.
- First one's on me.

Not saying
much tonight.

You all right?

Thanks.

Any issues?

Nope, the guy's
a missing persons,

never asked me any shit.

In fact, the one
guy's been trying

to get in my pants for years.

He'd probably give me his
bank account info if I asked.

Really? You should ask.

That's not gonna happen.

Thank you, by the way.

All good. So, ah,
what'd you find out?

You're
gonna want a drink.

28 missing persons have been
reported since the summer.

18 of those cases
are still open.

10 cases were closed.

What you thinking, Pep?

Why do you collect
all this odd shit?

Ah, because it's odd.

I guess it's in my genes.

My great-great-grandfather
was a hunter of the macabre,

I'm a collector of the macabre.

Yeah. Seems like it.

Hmm. What made
you become a cop?

Detective. And,
ah, I don't know.

It's a family business. I
guess it was in my genes.

My granddaddy was one too.

Well look at that. Another
thing we have in common.

Now the world

is filled with bad people.

There's not enough good ones
out there to hold it down.

So what do you think
about these pictures?

Those aren't all coming
from the same crazy.

And all 28 cases,

they were all last
seen at Renfield's Place.

Is that a real place?

Yeah, it is.

Wow. It's, that's bizarre.

It's a popular place.
What are you thinking?

Well, it's also the
name of a character

in those novels about
my great-grandfather.

- So we're on the same page?
- Regarding?

That can't just
be a coincidence.

And I'm willing to bet
you that we are dealing

with multiple predators here.

You gonna be back
here all night?

A bunch of weirdos
that just showed up

call themselves
Freaks of Russia.

Damn, forgot
about those guys.

Ah, just show 'em the green
room behind the stage.

Yeah. Getting
another beer, dog.

- Yeah, sure.
- Awesome.

The victims that
were found,

it suggests that they were
all mauled by an animal.

Welcome to Renfield's Place.

I have your table ready for you.

Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Salute.

To you.

Why to me?

Pretty incredible.

I mean, do they always
stare like this?

The envious stare. Uh.

Staring at you.
- Mm.

Should we get out of here?

Yeah.

Oh.

I hope everything was to
your liking, Mr. Connor.

Pristine as always, thank you.

- Enjoy your dinner?
- Loved it.

Thank you.
- Great.

That's what I like to hear.

If you could bring
the car around as well.

Actually, your car is ready,

and till next week, good
night to you and the lady.

- Thank you.
- Perfect.

And for the staff as well.
- Thank you.

It was a pleasure.
Thank you so much.

- Thank you.
- Have a good evening.

- Good night.
- Ah, it will be

a good evening.
- Mm.

Shall we?

You look absolutely beautiful.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Here's your menu.

Thank you. How are you, Raoul?

I'm great. How
are you, Ms. Wagner?

- Good.
- Have a wonderful evening.

Ah, Bella will be here
with your specials.

Thank you.

I really like this place.

Has a wonderful vibe.

- Yeah.
- This is awesome.

- Hi, how are you?
- I'm good.

How are you?
- Good, thank you.

Do you like pinot noir?

- Yeah.
- This one's on the dry

side, but it's my favorite.

I love pinot noir.

- But, no, I'm cool with that.
- Okay, great.

Toast.

What do you wanna toast to?

Those eyes. That smile.

Very inviting.

To this evening.
May it last forever.

That
sounds wonderful.

Wow.

This place has everything.

So much to choose from.

I know. I am so
getting the lamb chops.

Really? I kind of
assumed you'd be vegan.

What? Vegan?

No. I will destroy those chops.

Well, here's a man
surprised.

I thought you said we were
going back to your place.

Where are we?

This is my home.

This is your home?

Yeah.

Please.

Mm.

Don't be afraid.

I've got you.

Oh. This place
seems very peaceful.

Are you an artist?

I love the ambiance.

I tried to give it a
sense of the old world

when I had it built.

Huh. If these walls could talk.

- Mm.
- Some embarrassing

stories for sure.
- Hmm.

- Let's get a drink.
- Okay.

Yeah.

I feel like I've
been here before.

I'm sure I would remember.
I never forget a face.

Mm.

So, do you live here, um...

Alone?

Yes. Most of the time, anyway.

Thanks.

Um, so you never forget a face?

Mm. There have been many.

Maybe not quite as
pretty as yours.

Some fade over time.
Others still haunt you.

It's, ah, you know how
that goes.

Mm, cheers.

Oh, I am so sorry. Oh, shit.

Oh my gosh. I'm such an idiot.

Oh, how embarrassing.
Um, do you have a towel?

Um, oh, I'm so embarrassed.

I'm such an idiot.

Michael?

Michael? Mm.

Michael?

Michael? (gasps softly) Oh.

Sorry. Didn't
mean to startle you.

That's okay.

Hmm. Um, here.

No, don't worry.

Just a priceless crystal
glass and $1,500 brandy.

Oh, shit. Uh,
how embarrassing.

I am so, so sorry.

I'm kidding. It's
a cheap rock glass.

You're lucky, though.
- Oh.

As a child, if
I broke something,

I'd be punished, sent my room.

Mm.

Thank you, Mr. Connor,

for a beautiful night.

It was so enjoyable meeting you.

Michael?

Michael?

Michael, Michael, are you there?

Michael?

Michael, are you there?

This isn't funny anymore!

Oh!

No.

Forgive me.

I had hope for us.

Ah, shit.

Oh my God. It took
you long enough.

Could have been raped or killed.

Even if you screamed,

no one would've heard
you over that outfit.

Uh, wardrobe
advice from a woman

who answers the door in a robe.

Cute.

Ready for breakfast?
- Hmm.

It smells like sex in here.

How was he?

He tasted like shit.

Uh, you ate him? Why?

You texted me that picture.

I thought you guys
were hitting it off.

Oh my, when I said
go in for the kill,

I meant seal the deal
romantically, that is.

Not kill him.

I thought he was the guy,

but then he went and
did something stupid.

Okay. What did he
do that was so stupid?

Oh, damn. That shit
was good.

Hey, babe.

Oh, hey, babe. Hey.
Babe, what did I do?

I know. I know.

Uh.

Hold up. Is that a tip?

Okay. I am not a hooker.

Well, I told you,
I had to stay late.

Yeah, I, I was hanging
out with the fellas.

Yeah, I told you we
closed that big deal.

Yes.

I don't know, all we
did was hang around,

drink
cocktails, smoke cigars.

Yes, of course.

Yes, I love you.

Okay. I'll be home soon, okay?

All right. I love
you too.

What the heck?

Mm.

Hello, beautiful.
Yes, I'm back in town.

The trip took a little
longer than expected.

Sure. I can make it over.

Maybe not for breakfast,
but I could bring dessert.

Oh my God.

Yeah, babe?
- Bryan, did you leave

the office yet?
- Yeah.

- You did?
- Yeah, I had to go back

to the office and get my wallet.

I'll be home in a few.

Fine. Can you pick up
sparkling water from the store?

Pick up what from the store?

- Sparkling water.
- Okay, fine.

- Good, thank you.
- Yeah, I love you too.

Love you, mm-hmm, bye.

Shit.

Ah, what's up?

Dude, you
are too cool for school.

Come on now.

Oh, you gotta be kidding
me. A fucking ticket?

Is this a joke?

Tess, you following me?

Huh?

Oh, shit.

Oh, that is a big fucking dog.

Oh God, that's, that's,
that's, that's a...

Tossing money on a dresser

as if you were some
cheap hooker?

Although you did sleep
with him on the first date.

I mean, I would've
killed him too.

Seriously? You're
judging me now?

Uh-huh. I mean,
you did eat him.

I did.

Oh, oh, God! Nasty.

- Sorry, cuz.
- It smells like hot dogs.

What do you need?

Ah, I mean, I was gonna
take you to breakfast,

but seeing you ate already.

I can still taste
his drugstore cologne.

He said such sweet
things to me, Laura.

Yeah, was that before or after

you played hide the salami?

Ha-ha, yeah, I bet
it was before. Right?

Oh my god, you are so
judging me right now.

Look, I know you go on
dates with these creepy guys

to build a following
on your blog.

I get it, but you're
looking for Mr. Right,

and he doesn't exist.

You keep on finding
Mr. Screwed up.

He's out there somewhere.

Yeah, whatever.

Our mom needs to help,
me to help her out.

Her hip's out again.

Where's this chew toy of
yours I need to bag and burn?

The parking garage.

Here? Are you freaking nuts?

Why so close?

Hello? My bed is here.

Uh, what if someone saw you?

You could have
gone to his place.

He's married. Remember?

Uh-huh. Yeah,
you did say that.

I didn't want to eat the dude.

Like the wedding band, I
could have gotten over,

but the money, I'm not a hooker.

Yeah, you really need
to rethink your meal plan,

'cause, uh-huh, no more
eating where you live.

I am doing the
heavy lifting here.

Sorry, cuz. It just happened.

Why do you get to dine and
dash and I have to clean up?

I mean, if I were to change,
I would not do that to you.

Yeah. I would clean up my mess.

Seriously, you think
I like tearing up

my designer outfits
on a weekly basis?

You think I like eating people?

Don't you?

I'm sure you enjoy
devouring these shitty...

I mean, hell, I'd much rather
your curse than my period.

Oh my God. Listen to you.

I'm sorry the wolf blood
skipped over you and went to me.

My mom just probably has
stronger genes than your dad.

Hey, my father does
cool things too. You know?

- Really?
- Yeah.

Growing a unibrow
is not a talent.

It, it's not just his unibrow.

He can also-
- Okay, cuz, I don't care.

Can you please just get a
mop and clean up my date?

Okay. Where is he?

All over the garage.
Mm, I'm kidding.

By the dumpster.
- Dammit, Tess.

You couldn't have done
'em in a cleaner place?

Sorry. Next time.

All right.

Oh, and actually, um, if you
come across the hooker money,

can you bring it back?

Your girl needs
some new clothes.

- Mm, gotcha.
- Thank you.

Hooker money. I'm not a hooker.

That was the last
time I saw him.

Your
father was a good man.

You know, he sort of helped
me win my first fight?

Really? How so?

Well back
when my dad would leave

for long periods of
time with the Society,

your dad would check
in on us sometimes,

making sure we were good.

The benefits of living across
the hall from each other.

And I came running
up the stairs, crying.

And your dad grabbed
me by the shirt,

and he said, "Why
are you running?

Why, why are you crying?"

I told him, "Lenny, another
10-year-old had hit me."

So then he stood
up, he looked at me,

then he punched me
right in the arm.

- Why?
- Ow.

It hurt so bad.

And I remember I stopped
crying really fast.

I was confused.

And then he yelled
at me, "Cry, dammit!"

Wait a
minute. I remember this.

I was in the kitchen with Mom.

Pops went in the
hallway...

He hit me again, even
harder. He said, "cry!"

And then he said,

"Boy, Mr. C. hits harder
than any 10-year-old."

Oh, yeah.

"You can cry once.

Now go down there and deal
with Lenny."

So I ran downstairs,
I kicked Lenny's ass.

Never ran again.

God, Lenny was such
a bully to both of us.

Ah, my dad was a good man.

Different time, different world.

You know, they would've called

Child Protective Services now.

So, ah, you wanna tell me
what happened here last night?

Ah, well, I had a
heads up that these two

were going to pay a
visit to the Society.

Uh!

Ah!

Uh!

Wow. Okay.

That sounds, um, pretty epic.

It was.

So, you gonna help me this
time or do you gotta go?

Oh, actually I've got a
date I need to get ready for.

- Oh, huh.
- And get this.

It's gonna be at
Renfield's Place.

Well, I hope that you're
working on your date.

Yeah. Kind of.

Sort of.

Okay.

Looks like it's just
the two of us. Huh?

How do you weed out the
creeps from the good guys?

When do you tell your date
you're not interested in them?

Before the dinner? After?

While you're having dessert?

While getting attacked
in the parking lot

when you lay down the law
regarding, "no means no"?

Yep, I said that.

Sure, dating can be
exhausting each time.

You're looking forward to that,
maybe this will be the one.

But within a short
period of meeting them,

your highest expectations
get kicked in the gut.

And then you're
planning your exit.

Just a minute.

You then hope that the
night will go by super fast.

The one thing to look forward to

is not the date but the food.

That's where we can
all be a winner.

Suggest your favorite spot.
Go where you are comfortable.

Make it a requirement.
Pick the wine.

Yes, the wine.

I'm coming.

That's the only real
advice I can share.

The last few weeks, I have found
out nothing about my dates.

Each one was different, but
deep down they were the same.

Mama's boys. This kitty cat
wants a tiger, not a cub.

There is love waiting
out there for all of us,

but unfortunately, we all have
to meet a few duds before.

Different faces, same asses.

I will tell you one thing,

none of these stud
muffins I went out with

made me want them in the
way I crave crème brûlée.

Oh, yes. The dessert is always
the best part of any date.

This is Tess Wagner.

Until next week.

Mm, it's open.

And it's you.

You must want someone
attacking me outside.

Oh, yeah. Exactly.

That's why I live in
the safest neighborhood.

What does that mean? Huh.

Do you know who I was on the
phone with for 45 minutes?

Hi, Laura. How are you?

I was working. I was on a roll.

Your mother, my aunt, trying
to set me up with Willie.

I don't know Willie.

Are, are are you drunk?

No. Oh my God.

Wait, what the hell?

You look amazing. Another date?

Yes, with Marcus.

I met him at that bar you
took me to two weeks ago.

Marcus? Seriously, why?

- Yeah, Mar-
- He's a creep.

What? Are we talk, are we
talking about the same person?

Bartender guy, right?

- Yeah.
- The shit collector?

- Shit collector?
- Mm-hmm.

I don't know, he's
just been annoying me

to go out with them, so...

So what?

I have a hangnail
that's annoying.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna date it.

Okay. That's hardly the
same thing.

And besides, we
know you don't date.

That's why my mom's setting
you up with Willie. Remember?

Why date when I
live life through you?

You continue to show me
that nobody's out there.

At least not worth eating.

Okay. Stop.

That's not right. You know
I can't control this shit.

"Not right?"

What's not right is
you turn yourself

from beauty to the beast.

You know, I wake up sounding
like a beast. It's so not fair.

Well, maybe you should
lay off the cigars.

And lose my only
enjoyment? Please.

Does this
dress make me look fat?

God, what?

So you're saying
you like the dress?

Yeah.

Should I wear some
earrings with it?

Should I do long or short?

- Wearing heels or flats?
- Heels.

- Go with the long earrings.
- Thank you.

What is that?

Tip from the cleanup.

Oh, the hooker money.

It's actually kind of
messed up. Just kidding.

You're the best though.
Thank you so much.

I don't know what I
would do without you.

Like $500 worth?

Deal.

Thank you. Oh, and
refrain from eating Marcus.

Lots of people know him.

Good point.

Mm.

Woo.

- Oh my God.
- Yeah, see you later.

That smells like hot
dogs. What are you eating?

Disgusting.

And he's not a serial killer.

I've, ah, I've read your blog.

Why?

I, ah, wanted to get the
female perspective on dating.

Make sure I did things
right on the date.

- So tell me about you.
- Me?

Yes, you, silly.

Well, I, I run my own bar,

and I collect odd things for it.

How did you get into that?

I don't know.
Attention, maybe.

"Attention?"

Are you one of those people
that needs to be validated?

Didn't get enough
attention as a kid?

I had a great childhood.
What do you mean?

Nothing.

So how long have
you had the bar?

Ah, years. Been, ah,
thinking about expanding.

Franchising, maybe. You know?

No, I actually don't.

Do you ever eat crème brûlée?

Are you trying to
get me drunk so soon, Marcus?

Who me? Hmm.

Pardon my intrusion.

Hey man. What's up?

Well, I noticed
your wife here.

Oh, "wife." She,
she's not my wife.

Apologies.

I noticed your lady.
- She's my friend.

My date.

So what can I help you with?

'Cause we're kind of in
the middle of something.

Well, I'm alone this evening.

I enjoy the music here.

It reminds me of better times
I spent with my beloved wife

taken from me long ago.

Okay, ah, I don't
mean to be rude,

but what do you mean, pal?

We're in the middle
of something here.

- Marcus, stop.
- I'm sorry.

As you both were.

No, wait, what
were you gonna say?

I wanted to know if I
could have this dance?

Absolutely not.

I would love to.

That would be beautiful.

- Tess.
- Just once dance.

- Sorry.
- Are you kidding me?

This means so much to
me. You have no idea.

I'm glad I could help
you fill your void.

Unbelievable.

My name is Michael,
Michael Connor.

Hello, Michael. I'm Tess-

Tess Wagner.

- Excuse me?
- I know all about you, Tess.

I've watched you every
time you've come here.

- Do you work here?
- Mm.

You know I don't.

Do you like to tango?

Actually, yes.
I love to dance.

I just don't get to do it often.

Born in Argentina
in the 1880s.

- I didn't know that.
- Frequently practiced

in brothels back then.

- Really?
- Brothels would hire bands

to keep their
patrons with music,

and the tango spread like
wildfire throughout the world.

Interesting.

Was that a true story
about your wife?

Yes.

I'm so sorry you carry
that pain with you.

Thank you.

Why me?

Why you?

Why did you choose me?

You're always surrounded
by beautiful women.

Yes, a lot of pretty women,

but tonight, I'm
with pure beauty.

Stop.

First time laid eyes on you

was the last time I
would love another.

What? What does
that even mean?

Do you believe in
love at first sight?

- I'm not sure.
- Why are you unsure?

Because I've never
felt the way I do right now

- Than you do.
- Pepper,

get ahold of Aidan.

Meet me at the bar in an hour.

I found him.

Who are you?

What does your heart tell you?

This isn't real, is it?

As real as your date
leaving you behind?

You are an incredible dancer.

Thank you.

I don't care how
much money they have

and what kind of job they have,

as long as they have a job,
some type of responsibility.

Thank you.

Not someone who's sitting
in their mom's garage

playing video games,
waiting on their next bang.

Sounds like
you know what you want.

I'm good at giving
advice, but taking my own,

the jury's still
out on that one.

Is that why you blog?

You know I blog?

Yes, I, I told
you, you intrigue me.

I had to know who
captured my heart.

Do
you have a heart?

I did once.
It was a long time ago.

What happened?

Safe to say, I was reborn.

What keeps you going, Michael?

Hope.

Hope that one day I
can stop searching,

reset my life how I was.

Maybe let some light into
this stark, lonely world.

You sound ready.

People need to be ready when
they take the next step.

Most people are just forced
into it by peer pressure,

and then it fails.

Do you
wanna get outta here?

Sure.

There's a lot of eyes on us.

They've just never seen
the real life Cinderella.

You're certain?

I'm so certain
this is the bastard

that killed my grandfather.

I never forget a face.
Especially that one.

Since you already owe me.

Ah, you can add
that to your tab.

Miss anything.

So what do you wanna do?

I wanna put an end to this.

Free Tess from him.

This girl Tess
that you wanna rescue.

Maybe she doesn't
wanna be rescued.

What do you mean?

Marcus, she writes a blog
about looking for Mr. Right.

She goes out on a ton of dates,

and who knows how many
of them she sleeps with?

She's easy, guy.

Maybe they had
a real connection. You know?

Maybe she decided to
go with the so-called

bad boy on your date.

Chicks dig bad boys. Gives
'em a sense of adventure.

Is that what
you look for? A bad boy?

Not at all.

The one I like is too oblivious
to figure that one out.

- What?
- Look-

Listen up people, we
have location of his lair,

422 West 98th Street.

Getting a little
leeway from Society,

but we need to move and
we need to move fast.

Cheers up to the heroes.

Cheers.

Come on.

Uh, I'll bring that.

You are breathtaking.

I was just
gonna say that about you.

You're trembling.
Don't be afraid of me.

I'm not afraid of
you, I'm afraid of me.

Oh.

I want you so bad.

Then take me.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- Tess?
- Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Ah!

Ah!

Tess?

Uh!

No!

Clear.

What's the plan?

We've got 15 minutes.

We need to do this quick and
then contact the Society.

We don't need 15 minutes.

Go in, take him
out, Rescue Tess.

Call it in and make the bust.

It won't be a caller if
I don't get a confession.

No confession.
He dies tonight.

We'll be your witnesses.

We'll be heroes to
those victims' families.

Let's do this for them.

We have God on our side.

Ooh!

Huh, uh!

Ah!

- You got it.
- Uh!

Uh!

Ah!

Uh!

Ah! Son of a...

All right.

Look at you.
Not so tough no more.

Now it's coming, buddy.

Get your hands off me.

Take me.

Take you? I'm
gonna stake you, man.

Lycanthrope.
- They exist.

Oh!

Let's do this.

Ah!

Shit.

Eat me.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Pep. Pep.

Pep, come on.

Pepper, come on.

Pep, Pepper, come on.

Pepper, come on. Oh, thank God.

Come on. I gotta
get you outta here.

Come on.

Come on.

- Marcus.
- Yeah?

- I love you.
- I know.

Okay, come on.

So,
you're a werewolf?

Don't even go there.

- Are you all right?
- I will be.

It wasn't real silver.
- That actually works?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it hurts like hell
still, but are you okay?

Huh.

I've been here before.

I feel much better now.

What should we do with him?

I'll clean him up.

I'll eat him.
- Good evening, Mr. Connor.

Confirming your usual
reservation for two

tomorrow evening at Renfield's.

I will have your
usual bottle on ice

and look forward to
seeing you again, ciao.

What are you doing
tomorrow night?

We should have dinner.

Maybe. Depends
what bottle's on ice.

Have
to wait and see.

Got a lot to talk about.

We do?

Not every day you fall
in love with a werewolf.

Oh, is that what's
happening here?