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Zulu
It's empty. I had a payroll, but I left the mechanic's bill.
It was a shotgun guard.
Throw it down, I said.
I apologize for impugning your veracity, sir.
Anytime. Anytime.
You weren't really planning on shooting anybody with this thing, were you?
Hey, boys.
It looks like we got ourselves about $3 ,000 in dirty Yankee money.
If you feel it's contaminated, I'll be happy to take it back.
For health reasons.
Gentlemen, fortune smiles in us.
This is the skunk that shot Missouri Ed in the back of the head.
You're making a fatal mistake.
I never knew any Missouri Ed.
Your name's Ben Calhoun?
That's correct.
Then I'm afraid there's no mistake, sir.
Calhoun? You're now facing the end of a sorry twisted road.
Paying the penalty for the death of Missouriette.
Now, before we punch your ticket for the promised land, or elsewhere with a more
torrid climate... Excuse me.
You have something to say, sir?
Let's get on with this hanging before you talk me to death.
Very well.
Gentlemen.
One.
Bo Slydell.
Captain Bo Slydell.
Gentlemen, I have the honor to introduce Lieutenant...
with the 9th Virginia Cavalry, Stewart's Corps, and my best friend in the entire
Confederate Army.
Your sense of humor hasn't changed one speck.
If you want to have a good time, join
the cavalry.
Join the cavalry.
Join the cavalry.
You want to...
that name out of my mind.
Remember, Ben?
Remember way back to the siege of Petersburg, December 64.
Hmm?
The mule. Right.
Sure, I remember.
Good heavens, we were starving at that. It was either him or us.
Oh, poor old Missouri Ed. He was tough but tasty, huh?
What a lot of memories that brings back.
Yeah, sure does.
That was a life fit for a man.
And from that, you turned to holding up stagecoaches.
Isn't that sinking pretty low for a man that once rode with Stewart?
Well, I'll tell you, Peter.
I believe that every man should experience everything once in his
Besides, we never held up a stage before.
Well, I'm glad you decided to pick on the one that I was riding in. Somebody
else might have taken offense.
Now, of course...
We were figuring of getting a little of our own back from them Yankees. Didn't
count on running into a Johnny Rev like myself.
Come to think of it, I would mind recapturing a little of that filthy look
yours. Well, it might just give you that chance.
If you want to stay alive, just don't you mess with me.
Don't you mess with me.
Don't you mess with me.
I'd like to have you meet our vice president in charge of details, Barnabas
Rogers. This is an old friend unexpectedly rediscovered.
Captain Beauregard Slidell, at your service.
Sergeants Burney and March, Corporal Sibley.
Pleased to meet you, gentlemen.
All of the Confederate States of America, and our guests.
Say, uh, say, uh, do we, uh, do we have to head that way, Ben?
If we do, if we want to get to the railway, that's where it is. Why?
Oh, nothing. Just that our horses are kind of worn out now. I was thinking if
were to head south by east, it'd be a little flatter going.
Trade ahead will be quicker.
Yes, indeed.
There he is.
Now, children, let us go down among them and ask for an explanation.
See, uh, how far do we travel, Ben?
Railhead? About a half a day is right.
Good, good.
Pleasant journey with an old companero, huh?
Captain Slido, you forgot your appointment.
Well, sir, I do believe you're correct.
Ben, this is Captain Butler here.
Captain of what?
A small command.
A small outlaw command?
What's your part?
Well, like I told you, Ben, that was the first stagecoach we ever robbed.
We joined forces here with Butler to learn a trade.
What happened?
Well, now, I'll tell you, Butler.
We decided that the straight and narrow was the road for us.
Now, I sure am sorry to disappoint you.
You won't.
Hold it!
Now,
very nice, Lieutenant Calhoun. You always did move briskly.
All right, throw down your guns.
Got it, boss. Collect the souvenirs.
And now you're going to kill him, huh, Ben?
Now we're going to turn him loose.
All set.
Now get off your horse.
Get out.
A good long walk ought to do you some good.
I'll remember you, Calhoun.
Well, you remember me very accurately.
Captain Slidell.
Mm -hmm.
You never told me about your rich friend, Captain.
He owns his whole shebang.
Well, now, as I frequently told you, Slash, I'm a man of infinite resource.
Although I must admit, finding a rebel with his own railroad is a trifle
resourceful even for me.
Yeah, well, Calhoun owns the whole railroad, and that's a pot of money.
And here we are just scratching along.
You know what I think? No?
I think if we scratch hard enough, we might be able to...
Dig a little of that pot full of money away from old Calhoun.
Listen to me, you ignorant ragback, you. Ben Calhoun is an old comrade of
mine. We're his guests.
And we're going to treat him honorably.
We're going to treat him honorably.
Just for as long as we possibly can, huh?
And speaking about deals, Ben's in there right now waiting to take us out. Come
on.
I'll see your 100 Nicaraguan Cordobas, Phil.
And I'll raise you 70.
Venezuelan boulevards.
Cordobas, boulevards, pesetas, pesos.
Boys, I'll tell you, there's no poker game.
There's a bookkeeping nightmare.
We got some of that money for enlisting the Emperor Maximilian's Foreign Legion,
like a lot of reps.
All right, Slash.
I'll see your 50 boulevards, and I'll raise you $100.
Confederate.
Confederate?
You got any idea what Confederate money's worth outside of this car?
No.
All right.
I'll call.
And I'll raise you a hundred dollars.
American.
I take it you accept my IOU?
I don't know about the rest of them.
I don't accept an IOU from anybody in a poker game.
However... I'll tell you what I will do.
I'm paying these railroad workers $5 a day.
I'll let you bet a day's wages against every $5 I put in the pot.
In other words, it would cost you 20 days to...
Cover that $100 I just put up.
Well, I'll see you in 20 days.
I'm going to raise you 10 more.
That's one month.
Yeah.
See you in a month.
And raise another.
I'm staying.
No, no, no, no, thank you. No more. I got to keep a clear head here. My
is at stake.
All right, I'll save us. I'll see you in two months, and I'll bet you another
one.
That's it.
Three months.
And I'll call.
I'm in.
I'll see.
Call.
Well, now, gentlemen, you just look at that old black, huh?
Two pair.
Bushwhack. Just a minute there, Captain. You've just been de -horsed.
What? Full house.
Three deuces and two aces.
But I want to congratulate you.
You're now working for the BP S &D.
Oh, Dave, come in.
This is our chief construction engineer. I'd like to have you meet our new
employees. I've just won them in a poker game.
This is Bo Slidell, an old Army friend.
Captain Bo Slidell, 9th Virginian Cavalry. Captain?
Sergeant G. Miss Mott, 1st Kentucky Cavalry.
Sergeant. Howdy. Phil Sibley, Corporal 4th Tennessee Bedford Forest Brigade.
Howdy. Sergeant Slash Barney, John Hunt Morgan Raiders. Sergeant.
I'm former private Dave Tarrant, formerly with the 79th Pennsylvania
The bow, you stay here. Barnabas, would you mind showing these boys the new
quarters? Put them in the new tent.
Sure. You just follow me.
You got the contract for the legislature.
Joe's all over me, huh?
You bet we got it. And it's a beauty.
Land grants, financing, the whole works.
You know, there's only one thing as pretty as a beautiful woman. And that's
contract like this.
Didn't notice the contract kissing your back, Ben.
Good point there.
We're going to build a little spur into a place called Gold Town.
It's a new, rich little mining district.
Very profitable for us.
I've told you the good part, Dave.
I've got to tell you the other side.
They're giving us a time limit.
We've got to have the whole thing completed four months from yesterday, or
going to pay a stiff penalty.
So it looks like it's going to be gold, town, or bust.
Do you mean you accepted that time limit without waiting for the surveyor even
consulting me?
Well, sure. Why not? I've got confidence in you.
Ben, didn't you ever think that once, just once, it's going to be bust? No.
No, Mr. Business, you've got to keep looking up all the time.
Oh, boy, you keep on looking up and you're going to trip over those big feet
yours.
All right.
Let me look at this survey of yours.
Now, the best possible route I could find, Mr. Calhoun, was through the town
Paradise. And then continue right on through Paradise Valley. It's a straight
easy grade.
Now, the only other possible way would be to bypass the town. That's up these
hills.
But now it'd be not only hard to grade, but it's going to strain that time
limit. What are you fooling around up there for, anyway?
We'll go right through paradise.
Ben, they're asking a half million dollars for that right away.
Half a million dollars?
I wouldn't give a half a million dollars to go through the real place.
And I believe if we met it, they'd boost it.
You see, they want a railroad through that town like they want typhoid fever.
Don't worry about it, Dave.
We'll convince them.
And I'm going to prove to you both that building a railroad is far more exciting
and a whole lot more profitable than running around getting mixed up in other
people's wars.
Why wouldn't we go in there to negotiate? It'll be a regular Pickett's
Ben, Pickett didn't make it.
I've had a belly full, Captain.
Honestly, we're no doubt.
Come on, here.
Enjoy a fine smoke, courtesy of our good friend Ben Calhoun.
I'm beginning to get a belly full of Calhoun, too.
Look, we can just take what we want and get out of here. Well, we aren't going
to. We're going to stay right here and help Ben Calhoun because he needs us.
Now, just have a little patience, Slash.
We're looking at a golden future.
Now, run along.
Have yourself a drink. Enjoy yourself.
Relax. If you say so, Captain.
I do say so.
Those ties out there cost money, and we're short them to begin with.
Why, ain't that just like a money -grubbing yanker?
You want to get drunk in town, mister, that's your business. Here, it's mine.
Bernie, you give me that bottle.
You want this bottle, Bluebelly?
You just come and get it.
Slash, you're fighting an unarmed man.
Here, I believe you're right.
When Johnny comes marching home again.
Hurrah.
Hurrah.
When Johnny comes marching home again.
All right, Bernie, give me the model.
Captain,
there's a fight.
Looks like you're losing it, kid.
No, no, Mr. Terrence, slash.
Comrade, that's enough.
Stop it, Sergeant.
You wouldn't plug me.
I'd regret it all the days of my life, Slash, but I certainly would plug you.
Can't have you regretting something that long, Captain.
No hard feelings.
Shouldn't be too much sin in a town like this, huh?
I'm glad your baby's doing so nicely, Lisa. Here's your package.
Oh, Mr. Tarrant. Miss Gateby, may I present Mr. Ben Calhoun. How do you do,
'am? How do you do?
Uh, Mr. Gateby and the others are waiting for you in the office.
Thank you.
You can't have chocolate all your life, Tommy.
Here, try some of these peppermint bullseyes.
Live bravely.
Our business is in here, Bo.
I like sweet things.
Mr. Gateby, Preacher Legham, Ben Calhoun, and Mr. Sladell. Pleasure.
Sit down, Mr. Calhoun. Thank you, General.
As I was just telling Mr.
Tarrant here...
We founded this town because we wanted to have a decent community.
That is why we hopefully called it paradise.
And we mean to keep it that way.
By charging me a half a million dollars.
I'm willing to pay you a fair price.
In fact, I'm willing to pay you more than a fair price.
But if you persist in staying with this ridiculous figure, then I'll bypass this
town, and I'm going to go up into those hills and build a depot, so help me.
And around that depot is going to spring up a city, just like it always does.
That's the way Champaign, Illinois got its start.
Business will go there, the people will go there, and this town's going to die
out.
Though your children may grow up here, that's where they're eventually going to
wind up because that's where the opportunities will be.
A railroad can bring life or death to a town.
Now, you gentlemen can either stand in the way of progress, let it bypass you
and go around, or you can join in and help it grow.
I'm going to have to leave that decision up to you.
Good day.
Ben?
You know, I'm real surprised that you were fretting about this right -of -way
business when it's all so easy.
Easy? Sure.
All you got to do is send a few men into town, put the fear of God and Ben
Calhoun into these nice folks, maybe burn a building or two, but after that,
why, they'll just beg for your railroad.
You're just talking, Boat.
No, no, no. What's wrong with that, Ben?
Ben, can't you see you've got to get rid of Slidell and his men?
He's a powder keg with a lit fuse.
They're a little wild, but they can be tamed.
But war has become his way of life.
You can't risk him and build a railroad.
Stop living in the past, Ben.
Fire them.
If you don't want to do it, I'll do it for you. Right now.
Game.
This is my railroad.
I'll do the hiring and the firing.
And I own a piece of your railroad, and I've got a right to protect it.
That's right.
So long as you don't step in my bailiwick.
Ben, we've got headaches enough without being watchdogs for some wolves.
Get rid of them.
He's your friend, Ben.
And you're right.
It is your bailiwick.
Howdy. Captain Slidell taught me that.
You know I like that fella.
You've really given Barnabas somebody big to admire, Ben.
You know, Mr. Calhoun, I've been thinking about laying tracks for our
Boy, going out to the kitchen picks up another bad meal.
When's the wagon coming in?
It's not.
They had a rock slide up at the mine, blocked off the road.
It'll be a couple of days before their paymaster can get here.
$50 ,000 to take care of our payroll for a couple of months.
Hey, Flash, it ain't quitting time yet.
Well, I ain't quitting, boy.
I'm just beginning to enjoy my work.
How much?
I'd say $50 ,000 easy.
$50 ,000 maybe, but not easy.
Calhoun has a whole crew of men.
That's right, including us.
And we're on the inside.
Now, if you were to work along with us from the outside... I'm going to, my
I'm going to.
What about Captain Slidell?
He's busy pleading our cause.
It's just not working out, though.
Your men are laying down on the job.
Had several fights already. I remember.
They're not laborers. They're soldiers.
They're sure soldiering on me, all right.
I need men. I need every one I can get my hands on. But I need men who want to
build a railroad.
Give them a chance, Ben. They've got to settle into it. Now, give them a chance,
huh?
Ben, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go and have a little serious talk with
men right now. Excuse me, Ben.
I know you ain't supposed to let anybody come near here, but I just thought I'd
tell you. I've been hearing some real strange noises.
What happened to the man guarding the rear?
No moves, my child.
No sound.
Oh, I forgot.
No guards.
Flash, I'm gonna kill you.
Captain, it's working out perfect.
Butler takes the blame, we take the money.
Nobody will ever figure it. You're right.
Nobody ever will.
Yes, sir, you should have let me kill him in the first place, Ben. Yeah, kill
him. Oh, you can thank Slash and the boys for that. You see, they've been
sort of unofficial guard duty, and like I told you, they're, well, trifles slow
with the hard work, but they're downright eager at their trade.
Your point's well taken, Slidell.
A few seconds more, Ben, and the BPS &D would have lost $50 ,000 and one
construction engineer.
And construction engineers are hard to find.
All in the line of work, Mr. Tarrant.
All in the line of work.
Thank you.
You're just as our favorite.
Thank you, Barlow.
You're welcome, Captain.
Well, if you'll quit corrupting the Vice President, maybe he'll consent to get
me another cup of water.
Yes, sir.
Ah, you know, this is delicious.
Simply delicious.
Remember, Ben, that...
A chicory brew at Petersburg, huh?
Yeah, I do.
I do indeed.
Strong as a melt spoon.
Whenever you drank it, it kept fighting back.
The Yankee secret weapon, Mr.
Coles. Yes, sir.
You'll meet chicory coffee.
Short and carded as.
Long and patchy as.
And outnumbered five to two.
But we fought them to a standstill.
That we did. That we did, Ben.
Sounds just great.
It was, boy. It was.
The air smelt fresher and the sun shone brighter and we held on to every single
moment of being alive.
Mainly because we were scared to death about half the time.
Well, seems like yesterday to me, Ben.
Maybe that's because I never stopped soldiering.
But the war is over.
There'll always be wars, Ben.
Man is a quarrelsome animal.
That's my insurance, you see.
Because men like me, we're always needed.
Tired fighting other people's battles?
No, I don't, Ben.
That's because I'm just fighting one battle.
Me against the entire world.
Oh, I've seen these men in a dozen no -account countries. Men tied down to the
soil with the Islamic brats. Men afraid to walk proud.
But not me, Ben. Not me. I've never been put down. Oh, I've lost battles.
But my war isn't over yet.
Oh, mine is.
We're trying to build a railroad, not lead a cavalry charge, huh?
But, Bo, why don't you spend a little more time thinking about what's coming
instead of remembering so much of what's already past?
is dave tarrant he's in there lighting a fuse for the blasting powder how come
you're blasting from there ben trying to save time that's an old cave it runs
three quarters of the way through that mountain we figure five more days to
blast through and five days to shore it up we're still going to be in trouble if
we don't get the right of way through paradise
Thank you.
Thanks. My pleasure.
You're all crazy, but thanks.
Well, after something like that, a man could sure use a drink.
Hello, soldier.
Soldier.
You ain't no soldier.
You ain't even got a country to soldier for.
Your country's dead.
It's buried with Stuart, Jackson, Morgan.
Everything you ever hoped for is buried, too.
As long as you get your money, you'll fight for anybody.
Against anybody.
What do you care as long as you get your blood money?
Your ugly face even looks like a battle fee.
You speak of war.
Ahoy Manchin to come up behind me like that
You better get me out of here.
I've been looking for you, Calhoun.
Just on my way over to your place, Mr. Gateby. You said that a railroad could
bring life or death to a town.
Well, yours has already brought death.
What you gonna do about Slash? More than he deserves.
I'm gonna get him a lawyer.
Is that what you got in mind? A lawyer?
Well, he may be able to save his worthless neck.
A good one might even be able to shorten up his prison term.
You just couldn't be thinking about that right away through town, now, could
you, Ben?
Well, I have to forget the right away.
I've already talked to Mr. Gateby.
By the way, go get Dave Tarrant and ask him to come in here.
Yes, sir.
Now, you mean that with us and all those men that you've got, you ain't going to
do nothing about busting Slash out of jail? The law says you'll get a fair
trial. That's what he will get.
Oh, you've gotten soft, Ben.
Captain, Mr.
Calhoun's right.
Now, believe me, Ben, there ain't no companier of ours going to rot in any
stinking jail.
I can't get to the door.
What happened?
Get a hold of Krikorian, Poluski, four or five of the others. See to it they
guns.
Hold it, Parson.
Parson, you're lucky.
Oh, don't take that. Don't, don't. Take that, Rachel.
You men wait here. I want to talk to Bo alone. Ben, no.
You two aren't riding together with Jeff Stewart now. He's riding with them. I
unleashed him on this town. I'm at least got to try.
Bo!
You're the giblets out of them. You're going to get your right away now.
Oh, you go back down there and tell your men to throw down their guns.
Why, Ben?
Why? Because if you don't, we're going to have to come after them.
All right, Ben.
At your pleasure, sir.
I'll tell you when.
And what are you doing?
Thank you.
An 1 ,100 -foot rise per mile is just too steep.
There isn't a locomotive made that can carry a decent payload at that rate.
We haven't got any other choice, eh?
Mr.
Calhoun, we've come here to thank you personally for all that you and your men
have done to rebuild our town.
More than rebuilt. And for your generosity to Sheriff Link's family.
Unfortunately, all the money in the world can't pay for that sort of thing.
Those men work for this railroad.
I have to be responsible for the actions of the men, good or bad.
It's all over with now.
If you'll excuse me, we've got a railroad to build.
Through paradise, we hope.
You changed your mind?
Yes, we did, Mr. Calhoun.
Because it's just like you said.
Either you join up with progress, or it runs right over you.
We've decided that we can't stop the future.
And we'd rather meet it with you.
So we're granting you the right of way.
And at your price.
Hallelujah!
Oh, Bucky.
Hey, men, we got the right of way through paradise!
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