All language subtitles for In Sickness And In Health s06e04

Now, my old darling, they've laid her
down to rest, and now I'm missing her

all we are.

But they don't give a monkey's down at
the age of ten, and they're calling I'll

be pensioned for a star.

So it won't be very long before I'm
tired, but I'll probably starve to

that's what I'll do.

But richer or poorer, I'm bloody poor,
that's a fact, just because in sickness

than in health, but I'll do.

This planet L -

Sorry, but Dr. Becker has a full surgery
this morning. He wouldn't have it

quicker than thought to go somewhere
else.

It won't keep you much longer.

Yeah, well, at my age, Mrs., every
minute counts.

I don't want to spend the rest of my
life sitting on a hard chair waiting for

him. It wouldn't be so bad if he looked
after his customers a bit better.

Dr. Becker does what he can for his
patients.

Patients? Oh, blimey! You need plenty of
that when you come up to see him, eh?

Patients!

Wait till this new health scheme gets
going and you get a bit of market forces

playing around in your business.

We're not a business.

No, blimey, I can see that. If you was a
business, you'd be our business in five

minutes. Blimey.

If we had a choice, missus, if we had a
real market choice of where to take our

illnesses, your Dr... Shut up.

Your Dr Beck would have to pull his
finger out then and give a bit of

customer satisfaction, I tell you.

He wants to get a bit of decent
furniture in here, some better reading

for staff.

I mean, a few of today's newspapers
would be an improvement, wouldn't it? I

mean, the money. The money makes out of
us being sick.

Wouldn't hurt him, would it?

The money?

Dr Becker is only a general
practitioner.

Yeah, and who gives him all the
practice, eh? Oh, blimey.

All he ever does do is practice on us,
innit? Never seen him cure anybody yet.

Shut up.

And he's not short of a few, Bob. Don't
you worry about that.

Oh, blimey.

I've never met a poor doctor yet.

There's no doctors living in council
flats, my dear.

There's no doctors living down any
street where I've had to live.

He wants to come and live here over his
shop. He might find out then what it is

we need to keep us healthy. And it's not
him and his bloody medicines, I can

tell you that.

Blimey. A few eggs and steaks, a few
meat pies and meat puddings.

Do us a bloody sight more good than him
and his medicines, I tell you. You can't

smoke in here. I'm not smoking it, my
dear, am I?

I'm just putting tobacco in it, am I?

Prior to smoking it.

Getting ready to smoke it for when I can
get out of here and fumigate me lungs.

Get off some of the germs I'm having to
breathe sitting here.

Smoking's bad for you. It could kill
you.

Oh, blimey, that's a big worry at my
age, that is.

If this don't kill me, someone else
will. And if I've got the choice, as

it was this, I'll tell you. Oh, blimey.
At my age, missus, and on my pension,

I'm lucky I've got strength enough left
in me fingers to fill me pipe with.

And money enough in me pocket to buy the
tobacco to fill it with.

And power enough left in me lungs to
puff it with. I thought, I've come to a

bloody sight, let's say I'm in here
smoking this, then I will sit in a

room with her.

She'd be...

Coughing her bloody lungs out, sneezing
her snot all over the room. Whatever

she's got, we've all got it now, don't
you worry.

It's good for business, isn't it, eh?

Blimey. Coughs and sneezes, spread
diseases.

I mean, where would you and old Dr
Bucker be without illness, eh? Without

sick? Joining the three million
unemployed, that's where you'd be.

What? Just a minute.

This lady was before you.

Don't worry about her. I'll be in and
out of there before she gets out of the

chair, even.

Dr Becker?

Yes, and you are? Never mind who I am.
I've got a bone to pick with you.

What's the idea of telling Mrs Orenberry
she's got to rest, put her feet up and

take it easy, eh? Mrs Hollingberry.

Yeah, she's got a very painful leg. I've
got a very painful leg.

I've also got a very painful bum.

She'll have hard seats out there waiting
to see you.

Who are you?

I live with Mrs. Hollingbury and I ain't
had no breakfast nor no dinner and I

won't get no supper neither.

Because of you.

Just a moment. No, you just a moment.

How would you like it if I come into
your house and told your missus she's

to sit back, put her feet up and take it
easy, eh? And you never got no

breakfast, no dinner, no supper because
of it, eh?

Mrs. Hollingbury, the patient of mine,
it's my duty to prescribe recuperative

treatment that might be of benefit to
her. Now, she has a very painful leg.

got a very painful leg. That may well
be...

I'd have a new hip put in, didn't I?
Don't complain about it. I'm in terrible

pain all the time. But don't go on and
on about it.

They had a hip replacement, haven't
they? Yes, I wouldn't mind having

one too.

Another one?

I'd like them to take out the one they
put in and replace it with one that fits

properly.

Having trouble with the leg, are you?

Yes, I have having trouble. I've had
trouble with that leg ever since they

the new hip in. But that's not the leg
I'm complaining about. The leg I'm

complaining about is Mrs.

Olinbury's leg.

But it's all very well for you
prescribing for her. All right,

her. Give her a couple of aspiros,
deaden the pain a bit.

But who's going to prescribe for me, eh?
I ain't had no dinner today.

Hasn't Mrs Hollingbury had anything to
eat either? Of course not. You told her

she's got to rest.

But you live with her. You could have
provided a meal. Oh, yeah, what am I

supposed to be? Unpaid social work, is
that it? It's all right for you sitting

there, putting people on the sick list.

and saying they've got to rest and sit
back and put their feet up. But who's

going to look after them, eh? While
you're prescribing rest and recuperative

treatment, eh?

Muggins, isn't it? Bloody muggins! Leave
it with me. I will pop round in the

morning, see Mrs Hollingbury, see what I
can fix up. What, a social worker, you

mean? Something like that.

Well, you make sure you get someone a
bit decent. A social worker don't mind

doing a bit of work and ain't too bloody
social.

It's a waste of time.

and misery for everyone.

Bloody cooking.

To hear you talk, you think only women
could do it.

But except no hotel worthy of the name
would ever employ a woman chef.

No, it's a man they want.

A man who can cook five, six, seven,
eight course meals.

Meals cooked with imagination.

Meals that people are prepared to pay a
lot of money for the pleasure of eating.

And all that...

in this street is nailed down.

I'd have bars up in the window if I
could afford them. If you want to sleep

in this neighbourhood, mate, and not get
murdered in your bed, you've got to

take precautions.

Even your neighbourhood watch has to be
watched in this neighbourhood.

Surely you don't suffer from break -ins.

Forgive me, but I wouldn't have thought
you had that much worth stealing.

I break it here for practice, mate.

This is a training ground for your local
criminals here.

Granted, if half of them wasn't in
prison.

Now, that's an exaggeration. Most of my
patients are decent, hard -working

people. They're poor.

Poor? Say that again. We've always been
poor, but nothing like this before.

I mean, they only call to empty our
dustbin twice a year now.

That's disgraceful. Why?

We never got anything to put in it.

Even a few mice we had have moved on.

The other reason we have to keep that
window nailed down is... This room has

be sealed off in the summer to try and
capture some warmth for the winter.

This room ever gets really cold, mate.
You never eat it up again from scratch,

not with one bar of electric.

Oh, Gordon Bennett, who's that now?

Do you really have to live entirely on
your pension?

Well, we do get the odd allowance, but
that's like giving Aspro to a man with a

broken leg.

So how do you manage?

Well, Mr Garnet has been thinking of
trying his hand at a bit of shoplifting.

I don't think he'll be very good at it.
That's not a very good idea.

No, I'm sure you're right.

He's bound to bring all the wrong things
back.

We've got a condemned food shop round
the corner.

I mean, that helps a bit. Condemned
food?

Well, past its shelf life stuff, you
know. You have to queue, but it

the pennies a bit further.

I saw on the telly people queuing for
food in Russia, and I said to Mr

I said, well, I don't know what all the
fuss is about. I said, they don't look

no worse off than we are.

But they don't have our freedom of
speech, do they, Anne?

Freedom of speech?

Who needs it? I ain't got nothing to
say.

And if I had, no -one would listen.

No, war rationing, the good old days, it
was better off then.

It's a pity it ever came to an end.

What? What, the rationing? The war,
even.

No, we was far better off when we were
fighting the Germans.

Eating condemned food can make you very
ill.

And no food can make you even worse.

We'd be happy to be taken here and
carted off to hospital. Even eating that

awful hospital food regular could save
our lives.

We would eat better if we was convinced
in one of our mother's prisons.

I mean, people complain about awful
hospital food, but blimey for us,

old age pensioner, thought that'd be a
luxury.

Yeah, I went to see my sister in
hospital.

Oh, I did envy her three courses, her
lunch was. Things must be terribly

difficult for you, I know. Difficult?
Blimey, more than difficult. Difficult

can manage.

Yeah, the trouble is, you see, your
pension's too little and your week's too

long. If it would bring in a two -day
week for pension, it wouldn't make me

to manage all right.

I've always thought the seven -day week
was far too long for poor people. It's

always been too long for poor people to
stretch a week's money.

I mean, that's why poor people get into
debt. The weeks are far too long.

Do you have debts?

Oh, blimey. Chance would be a fine
thing.

Who would lend him money?

No offence, no, but would you lend him
money, Doctor? No, Doctor, we couldn't

take it.

You ain't off that debt.

See, even...

Even the poor polluted air around here
is more than we can afford, Doctor.

Sleepy air's free.

Not if you want it warm in the winter,
it ain't.

So we've got a choice. Either sitting in
a freezing cold looking at the telly or

sitting in front of the one bar of
electric looking at each other.

Well, I'm obviously going to have to get
in touch with the DSS and see what I

can fix up for you. In the meantime,
Doctor, if you could see your way clear

with that five pound what you were
talking about before.

Get it back. I mean, we are poor people
here, but we're honest, and it would be

regarded as a debt of honour.

But it seems I have no choice.

I mean, if you're really as poor as you
say, I feel I have no option.

But this is no cure.

This won't help you in the long run.

Yeah, but in the short run, it could
turn out very handy.

Well, I'm giving this to Mrs
Hollingbury.

Buy food.

Give it?

Oh, no, Doctor, I'm sorry, I couldn't
take it. It's very generous of you, but

providing you let us pay you back. And
she will do.

Although they do say a Christian act is
reward enough in itself, and a good

square meal will do her a power of good,
far better than any medicine.

Come to think of it, you could have my
custom, Doctor.

You don't want another panel patient, do
you? Just say the word. I mean, you

could have the money. I mean, you might
as well have it as the other fella, the

one I'm going to now.

It could be worth a few thousand a year
to you, couldn't it? I say, it's a pity

patients aren't allowed to do deals,
isn't it? I mean, most of them around

would be prepared to sign on with you if
only you would just bung them back a

bit out of what you earn out of it.

Even the odd fibre now and then would
satisfy most of us. And you could travel

your practice.

What are you... What are you doing? I'm
just getting ready for you to examine my

back, Doctor.

Look, I've come here to examine Mrs
Hollingley. Well, we see your car

and thought we'd just pop in. It saves
the walk up to the surgery. I'm terribly

sorry, but if you want to be examined,
you must come up to the surgery. Oh,

yeah, that's typical, isn't it? You're
the one with the motor car, but there

the ones who've got to do all the
walking.

Marvellous. You're the one who's got to
get involved in travelling expenses,

getting on and off buses, go and visit
the doctor, but he's the one earning the

money. He's the one who's fit, sitting
there in his surgery, all nice and warm

and comfortable, but the patient...
who's sick has got to drag out in the

and wet to go and see him.

What's wrong with your back?

Ah, now, if I knew that, Doctor, I'd get
it fixed.

Ah! Is that where it hurts? No, no, it's
your fingers. They're freezing.

I can't see much wrong with it.

Well, I'm not surprised, Doctor.

It's bottled better than you.

I took this back to Belfast, Dublin and
London. And not even the most eminent

has been able to discover what's wrong
with it.

Hello, Doctor?

What are you doing, woman?

It's my Harry, Doctor. Get ready for the
Doctor.

It's his Walter.

That's nothing.

You shut up. It's nothing like a back...
It's none of your business.

Look, when he gets to his age, he has to
expect trouble with his plumbing. My

back is agony.

Well, I wish it was his back.

Oh, he wouldn't want my back. You have
no idea the pain I have to put up with.

Oh, well, I mean, if it's just pain he's
suffering.

Well, yes, I could put up with his pain.
I've done it before and I'd do it

again. But what he's got now is unfair
to me.

I can't help it, can I? It's not my
fault.

Oh, of course it's not. It's like old
buildings. You can't expect good

Trust you to be awkward.

Most people get things wrong with them
that they can keep to themselves.

But, oh, no, not you. You have to find a
complaint that keeps me awake all

night. Look, I'm the one that has to go
down the stairs and out the back. Oh,

yes, well, you're not having a potty...
in the room.

Now, get those trousers off quick. The
doctor's waiting.

Mrs.

Ollingbury, don't worry.

Nothing's startling.

I have to put my glasses on to see it.

I don't want to get undressed, doctor.

Please, please, get dressed. Mrs.

Ollingbury, now, I want you to stay off
that leg.

Oh, Mark.

Now, I am going to approach the council
and see if I can get you better

accommodation. Oh, yes, I'd like that.
Somewhere more comfortable, more

efficient. Oh, that'd be lovely.

We're out of here. All we need's a bit
more money. Of course you are, but a one

-room apartment in a modern block, among
your own kind... Our own kind? Excuse

me, Doctor.

What kind of people is our own kind, is
it? The lame kind, is it? People with

bad legs, is it? And bad backs. And
dodgy waterworks. Putting us all

are you, in special queues because,
what, like battery ends, is it?

They're people of your own age group.
Oh, I see. All the oldies. Where is this

modern block?

Nearer to the cemetery, is it? It'd be
more convenient.

Who for? The undertaker.

It's only a bad leg I've got, Doctor.
The rest of me's all right. That's the

trouble, my dear. It's your bad leg
that's putting him out.

See, when you was thick, he didn't have
to do nothing. Just draw his wages from

the National Wealth and play golf all
day. But now you've got a bad leg.

You're a bloody nuisance to him. He's
got to get his car out for some petrol

it. Come and see you.

That is not fair.

No, it ain't fair, mate. They should
only pay you when you work. The private

sector only pays doctors when they work.
Right. You don't get your money up

front, then hardly... street. No, not
without doing nothing for it first. Oh,

no. Up in Harley Street, you've got to
satisfy your customer because if you

don't, he's got the dust to go next door
or down the street until he finds

someone who can.

Ah, well, if you're interested in paying
into boot. I am not interested in

paying into boot. I pay into national
insurance and I'd like to know where

money's gone. If I had back what I paid
out in tax and insurance, I wouldn't

need the government's miserable pension.
The vast majority of people pay...

thousands of millions of pounds into
your national wealth, and I've been

it for years. Only a small percentage
ever gets anything out of it. Yes, of

course, you've got to be ill first, and
most of us did. See, fortunately, most

of us go our own lives without having to
visit the doctor or the hospital that

much. And when we do go... There's not
any money there.

So who's had it?

In members since we've started, we have.
I'll tell you, if that was a private

insurance matter, not the government,
the fraud squad have been round and

calling on them by now.

My, Harry, he never agreed. with it, you
know. I told her. Yes, you told her. I

said, that old service is only going to
benefit the sick. Yes, you said.

You've got to be really ill before you
get any benefits. They talk about new

hospitals. It's always ailing, you'll
have to be.

But every hospital I've ever seen was
there when I was a boy, built by

generations long dead.

Unless you're always ill, then you might
make a profit out of it. Listen, if I

did pay it to Bupa and went up Harley
Street, their market forces are

as a paying customer, I'd expect the
bloody sight better service than I'm

getting all for you.

You're not even registered with me. No,
and if she had any sense, she wouldn't

be neither.

I offered to bring you my business, put
money in your pocket, but if that's

going to be your attitude, it can stay
where it is. I've been with Dr Becker

years. Yeah, but what's he ever done for
you, eh? Forget the fiver for a minute.

I mean, he's a... He's a...

off of you, innit? But what's he ever
done for you? Nothing.

But as soon as you get a bad leg and
he's got to do some work to earn his

he turns nasty. He wants to put you in a
home with a lot of other old fogies.

I'm not no fogie. I'm not trying to put
you in a home. You was talking about old

people's places, about her failing her
MOT.

Don't try and fix her up, no. Get her
off the road.

She's no good. Her big end's gone,
innit?

She needs new wheels. No point trying to
patch her up, is there? No, junker.

Put her in the knacker's yard. Will you
listen?

No. You're in the knacker's yard. I have
been listening to you, mate, and all

I'm getting off of you is groups, innit?
Put them in groups.

Well, I've got an artificial hip, so
what's my group, then?

Artificial hip users group, is it? I
didn't say that, no. I'm telling my

he's an old building because he's coming
down. I didn't say that, no. All I'm

trying to do is to get Mrs Hollingworth
to think that I've changed to consider

moving out of this squalid room.

Squalid? Oh, I do my best, Doctor. I
know my deal. You know, I... forever

scrubbing and... You could eat your
dinner off this floor.

Oh, God.

Pills. Pills. In the case, pills. Pull
your trousers up quick. We're going.

Why?

I've lost faith in him.

Is that the ring for an ambulance?

Are you National Health or private?

Private.

Are you going to push me up the hospital
or not?

Oh, boy.

I don't understand you.

A woman you work for decides to be ill,
puts herself in hospital, and you've got

to be Florence Nightingale, pack your
lamp, and expect me to push you all the

way up there to the hospital.

She's lying up there in that hospital in
a coma.

Well, if she's in a coma, it's a waste
of time, mate, isn't it?

If you're in a coma, you don't know
who's come to see you, do you?

I mean, your brain's gone when you're in
a coma.

She might be calling out for me. Well,
if she's calling out for you, all

got to do is send someone in, anyone,
and say it's you.

Oh, you're such a self -centred man.

You've got no feeling for others.

What are you going to do when you get up
there? Sitting bloody will stare at

her. Send her a get -well card.

When she comes out of her coma, there'll
be something for her to read.

I'm going. I want to be with her. But
you won't be with her, blimey. She might

be dead by the time you get there.

How long has she been in this coma?

Two weeks. Well, there you are, then.

No hurry.

Go another week, when your leg's better.

I want to go... Anyway, I want to take
her some grapes and a few flowers. Well,

what do a person in a coma want with
grapes and flowers?

Grapes you can't eat and flowers you
can't bloody well see.

Well, I know I've done my duty.

Oh, blimey, the nurses will be grateful,
I tell you that.

Oh, dear, they'll have the grapes and
the flowers.

That's how they get away with paying
them such rotten wages, isn't it?

It's the perks they pick up robbing the
patients.

I've seen them staggering out the bloody
hospital with sacks full of stuff.

Well, they didn't get much out of you
when you was in hospital with your hip,

did they? How do you know what they had
all for me?

Nothing. Because there was no one liked
you enough to take anything in for you.

There was people come up to see me, my
dear.

There was people brought me things. Was
there?

You sure you wasn't in a coma and
imagined it?

I'll give her a coma.

Bloody coma.

Bloody payment, look at it.

I shouldn't have to be pushing the
wheelchair, not with my... Escalator out

service.

Come in. I'm not there looking here.
Look, you'll have to walk down, and I

can't. I wouldn't even let you try.
Well, the ticket inspector said we'd

difficulty with the wheelchair one.

I'm sorry, mate, you'll have to speak
up. I'm deaf in money.

She wants to go to the toilet.

Wrong ear.

Turn this platform into a ship.