Original subtitles

Now, my old darling, they've laid her down to rest, and now I'm missing her

all we are.

But they don't give a monkey's down at the age of death, and they've gone and

I'll be pensioned for a start.

No, it won't be very long before I'm pi -er -tine, but I'll probably starve to

death, that's what I'll do.

But richer or poorer, I'm bloody poor, that's what I'll do.

What day is it?

What day is it? What do you mean, what day is it?

Wednesday. I know what today is.

But what did you ask for?

I mean, what day is it that you do your jury work?

Next week.

What day?

Wednesday. Next Wednesday.

Today week!

Today is Wednesday, then.

Are you sure?

I just told you, didn't I?

Give me a sec.

Now you're bloody well done.

I thought it was Thursday.

Well, if it is, this paper's a day early. I've got news here that ain't

happened yet.

I thought you said you knew what day it was.

I do, I do. I thought yesterday was Wednesday. Not until tomorrow, my dear.

And I did all that rushing about yesterday because I thought it was early

closing. Well, now you can do it all again today because today is early

No, I've got all I want now. But it is annoying because if I'd known

yesterday... If I'd known yesterday was Tuesday, I could have gone to the church

bazaar because I was really looking forward to that.

You couldn't have been looking forward to it that much else you'd have

remembered to go to it. No, I did remember to go to it.

Not on Tuesday, you didn't. Oh, yes, I did, but there was nobody there. It

wasn't open.

So what did you do Monday?

Comes after Sunday.

I know where Monday comes. I can't seem to remember having one this week. Well,

not a proper Monday. Because that whole Tuesday was Monday, see? That's why I

went to the church bazaar.

And there was nobody there.

Well, of course not, silly. It was the wrong day.

So you've lost a day.

No, I've gained one.

I thought yesterday... was Wednesday and today was Thursday, but it's not. Today

is Wednesday, so it's Thursday again tomorrow.

So I get two Thursdays in this week.

And no Monday.

Oh, yes, but I don't mind missing Monday. I'm a big keen on Mondays.

And I can always do with an extra Thursday.

It's a much better day for me, because I always know more where I am on a

Thursday. And with an extra Thursday, I mean, it gives me more time to press

your suit.

Eh? Well, Thursday is my ironing day, see?

And I didn't think I'd get through all this today, but now I've got tomorrow as

well.

Look, when they go out of brain transplants, you put in for one, right?

Because you are entitled.

Look, there's only so many days in a year, right?

You say so. No matter what I say, though, it's fact, isn't it? And they're

numbered and put into months and weeks, right?

Well, that's not new.

No, it's not new. It's been going on for a long time, my dear.

Yeah, as long as I can remember. Which is not saying very much, but never mind.

You can't lose any one of them days.

Yeah, but I didn't say I'd lost one. You said I'd lost one. I said I'd gained

one. You can't gain one, neither.

There's only so many days.

And they're all numbered, like I said. Look, do you know how many days there

in a year?

Seven. Seven?

You silly great pudding, there's... Monday.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That's seven. Wrong!

Can you think of any other? There's 365!

No, no, no. No, that's just the same old seven.

You know, repeated all over again every week.

Of course, nobody else could think of any more either, I suppose.

Well, it's just as well. It would be a funny week if there was any more.

It's not half as funny as the week you've been having.

Besides, seven days in a week is enough for anyone.

Except an extra Thursday in this week, we'll come in handy for pressing your

suit.

Except I'll have to wait and press it next week if you want to look really

for the jury.

Look, it's criminals I'll be sitting in judgment on, and you think I've got to

dress up and look smart for them?

Well, it won't just be criminals, will it? The judge will be there, and the

lawyer.

Blimey, you want to look smart for the judge, don't you? I'm not going out of

tea with them, are I? It's not a social visit.

Besides, I'll be sitting in a jewellery box.

It only shows head and shoulders.

Clean collar, that's all I need.

Do you know who the criminals are, yeah? Of course I don't. They don't tell you

that.

Could be a bunch of cut folks and murderers for all I know. And I've got

there in full view.

Just head and shoulders, you said?

Yeah, but that's...

That's enough for them, isn't it? That's the bit they ought not to show.

I mean, show them your bottom half, yeah, let them know you're there, but

face should be hidden at all times.

They should either blindfold the prisoner or hide the jury.

Yeah, but the judge has got to sit there too. I mean, he'll be in full view and

the prosecuting counsel.

They're in disguise, my dear. They're wearing wigs and gowns, aren't they?

You wouldn't recognise them if you saw them outside in the street.

Well, can't you wear a wig and shave off your moustache?

Besides, it's their job, isn't it?

And they'll be earning a bloody sight more out of it than I will too.

I mean, it's fairer. I mean, they've got to work in a car, don't they?

With a police escort.

Or even a prisoner gets driven down a police van.

I've got to go on a bus and come back on a bloody bus. Well, I pay your fare.

I've got a bus pass. I don't need them to pay my fare, do I? You get expenses.

Expenses, expenses.

£7 .10, please, for ten hours or over.

That's under a pound an hour. Well under, that is.

Blimey. They're the ones who need a trade union if anybody does. The poor

jury. It wasn't a sweatshop, that is. And no talk about danger money. Oh, no.

There's the judges and your barristers, all the legal eagles. They're coining

it, they are.

Living in their mansions, driving around in bloody great Rolls Royces.

The poor bloody jury's got to risk life and limb for a pittance.

I mean, it's supposed to be a court of justice.

Well, where's the justice in that, eh? Answer me that.

I mean...

Bloody legal profession. They ought to get down on their hands and knees that

have got any sense of justice at all and give thanks to the Lord who's given

them all them villains.

They make the bloody side more out of crime than your poor bloody criminal

I mean, it's no wonder they give them all light sentences.

They don't want your criminal sitting in prison twiddling his thumbs. No, they

want him out in the streets walking.

No wonder they're against capital punishment. Well, that's the reason,

They don't want all their best clients topped, do they? No, get a nice juicy

murder trial going.

What are you laughing, isn't it?

Oh, dear Lord, they'd buy themselves another house in the south of France.

That's why the police are so keen to pick people up, because they're in on it

too. They get a commission off the lawyers, don't they?

I'm not sticking my neck out in that bloody courtroom, not for what they're

paying me.

The jury has to work just as hard as all the rest of them, puts in the same

hours, has got to sit there, sift the evidence, weigh up your pros and cons,

give the verdict, and we shall be on the same whack as all the others.

Yeah.

Fair, fair.

I mean, I could be sitting there giving out my guilty verdicts, and then them or

their mates could be round here bashing the door down after me.

Well, we don't want any of that.

I mean, Mr Johnson says he knows the jury man once he got both his legs

by the villains and that was before the case even started.

Well, thank God we've still got that wheelchair.

The trouble with your courts, Mr Garnett, is they let too many people

Yeah, well, I mean, if you're not guilty... No, it shouldn't matter.

It's up to the police to secure a conviction by every means in their

What, even fit someone up?

Yeah, if they have to. I mean, it's better if they've got the guilty person.

they haven't, they shouldn't let it bother them.

What, convict an innocent man?

If they have to.

I mean, the whole purpose of your criminal code is to deter people from

committing crime.

And the only way to do that is to put the fear of punishment at people for

breaking the law. Let them know that if a crime has been committed, someone is

going to be punished. It doesn't matter whether it's the person who's done that

particular crime or not. That's immaterial.

I mean, hanging an innocent person is as good a deterrent as hanging a guilty

one. And that is why I say there should be capital punishment.

a murder has been done, it's better to hang the wrong person than to hang

nobody.

Yeah, yeah, it's true. I mean, but... The people that they arrest and imprison

or hang, I mean, they should be from your criminal classes, though. Oh,

possible, I would say.

Right. You mean there should be a section of society they can draw on for

sort of thing? Yeah. Now, there's a good idea.

Yeah, like, I mean, louts, you football hooligans. Yeah, you're animals, you're

good for nothing.

Yeah, all that sort. Their names should be taken and put on a list. And then

when a crime is committed, you go to that list and one of them gets punished

it. Yeah, but it's supposed to be fair, though, isn't it? Justice, isn't it?

Justice and law and order are two different things, Arthur. There is

where it says that law and order has to be fair.

And if your citizen goes out of his way to be law -abiding, makes every effort

to keep his nose clean, he's got every chance in the world of steering clear of

the law. But if, on the other hand, he ain't too fussed about being law

-abiding, then he's got an equal chance of having his collar felt. And it don't

matter whether he's done this particular crime or not. That should be purely

academic. The whole point is we need a criminal.

And we got one. We need someone to punish.

And we have found him.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, I mean, there is a criminal class, Arthur. You can see them all round you.

Yeah, well, I don't know about that. I mean... Well, I mean, there's people you

wouldn't trust, Arthur. Well, most of them, yeah. I mean, not a lot of people

would trust.

There is a criminal type.

Of course there is. You can see them. I mean, you can look around and say, there

goes one, there's another.

Shouldn't have to wait for them to do anything.

No, well, there you are. That slows down the criminal process.

There was a time when the police would arrest them on suspicion.

They'd see one lurking in the doorway. They're right inside, three months for

stuff. Yeah, why did they stop that? Bloody liberals.

Yeah, trying to be fair to the criminal. Why be fair to a criminal? He ain't

fair to us.

Right. Yeah, well, that's all very well, but, I mean, the police are supposed to

serve the public, not judge them. I mean, the public pay their wages.

I mean, if you employ somebody to work for you, you don't expect that person to

turn around and start bullying you and telling you what to do, do you? The

bloody trade unions do, mate.

No, they don't.

They are there to protect their members against the employers.

Get off out of it. First thing the union leader does, as soon as he takes

office, is to raid the union funds, buy himself a bloody big house and a bloody

big car, go with it.

I mean, when did you ever see a poor union leader, eh? When did you ever see

union leader that didn't earn more than the members he's supposed to be

representing? I thought we were talking about the police.

No, we're talking about bloody criminals, mate. Oh.

So you are saying that the union leaders are criminals?

I am saying that all the union leaders ought to be on that list, what Mr

is talking about.

People to be watched.

People not to be trusted because they are a dodgy bunch.

Because if they're not watched, Arthur, they'll rob and exploit their members

worse than the bloody employers. Well, I've seen them.

They start on a soapbox and finish up in the House of Lords.

Look at that bloke you had, the leader of your bloody union.

He done better out of it than the bloody capitalist he was supposed to be up

against. And don't tell me he didn't have his hand in a few tills, including

own union's till.

Oh, blimey.

Money don't grow on trees, Arthur. So where did all this wealth come from, eh?

Answer me that, eh?

Every borough's got its rotten apples, Earl. Yeah, they're all on the top in

union borough, mate. That's the trouble.

There are two groups of people in this world.

Those who do and those who it's done to. What you've got to try and do is join

the first group.

And you're trying to make the police join the first group.

They're the ones that do it and we're the ones they do it to. No.

You are saying that you employ the police to get a criminal.

If they can't get a criminal...

One of us will do. Not one of us, Arthur. If you're law -abiding, you're

to be all right. I mean, do the police bother you? No, if you're respectable,

you're right. I mean, they've got their funny ways, the police, yeah. Please

stop that young colour boy coming out of your house.

Yeah, well, they was just being watchful, that's all. I mean, he was

of my house, Arthur. You know, and...

Carrying a bag.

He wasn't doing anything wrong.

No, but he might have been. That's their point.

They don't stop Mrs. Olinbury or you coming out of your house carrying a bag.

No, but we live there, don't we? Well, he lived there, didn't he? No, but, I

mean, he looked suspicious, didn't he?

They all do.

Who?

The blackies.

He was black, wasn't he? I mean, that's nothing against Winston. I mean, you

know, he was all right. He was a good lad. Very honest in his way. But, I

he counts against them around here, doesn't he?

Well, that's prejudice, ain't it?

No, it's not prejudice. I'll give him a room in my house, didn't I? But you have

got to be cautious.

I mean, you've still got to be watchful.

I mean, I'll walk past a dog, all right. I mean, most of them's tame enough.

But you still tread with caution, don't you? Because they... I mean, dogs do

bite.

Well, that's all right then, isn't it? Because you'll be on the jury next week.

You'll be able to put some of them away for us, won't you? I will, I will. I'll

put them all away, don't you worry.

Only the criminals, only the ones I'm... Convince these criminals, but... See,

the jury shouldn't have to sit there in full view of everybody. That's my point.

I mean, no, you should better look at a prisoner through a peephole in the cell

door. I mean, study him, you know, be fair.

And, I mean, you know, give him a good looking over, listen to what the police

has got to say, why they nicked him, why they think he should go inside, pass

sentence.

But there's no need for the jury to sit there where they can be seen.

It's not fair to them.

Wait, I've been listening to you lot talking.

Before you start slagging off to criminal classes... I wasn't.

Motormouth here was.

All I said was... I heard what you said, I heard what you said, and you want to

mind your P's and Q's a bit. Listen, we're not all criminals round here, but

lot of us have got relations who are.

You could cause offence. You want to show some respect for people's feelings.

Look... I've got two cousins on Dartmoor.

And when I come in here for a quiet drink, I don't want to listen to you

blackening their names.

That's right.

A couple of lovely lads, they are.

Boys you can be proud of. I am. The eldest.

He started a riot a few weeks ago.

I see him on the telly.

Here, wasn't he looking well?

Been out on the roof, hadn't he?

Standing up for prisoners' rights, that's what he was doing.

What a shop steward he is now.

You see, what you don't realise, Mr Garnet, is boys like them two lads and

Carey's, they provide a service for the poor, nicking things and selling them

cheese. Look, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have my brand -new Japanese

telly and videotape machine.

Some wouldn't even have food.

The criminal classes you was flagging off just now do more of a service for

poor and needy than the DSS do.

That's rubbish. Rich life and limb, liberty and freedom, them lads do.

Robbing hoods and his merry men.

Robbing the rich and... And flogging it off cheap to the poor.

I always said there wouldn't be any criminals if there wasn't any market for

your stolen goods.

That's right. That is right, Arthur.

It's people like Mr Garnet and Freddie are what encourage them lads to steal. I

don't buy stolen goods.

You would if it was offered.

The trouble with our old age pension is you can't even afford to buy cheap

stolen goods. Yeah.

And you don't want to talk, Mr Johnson.

I mean, you wouldn't have that nice new suit and them six brand new shirts if it

wasn't for our local heroes.

Hey, is that one of them shirts you've got on there now?

Yeah, that suit had to be taken in.

Well, not much. It was nearly a good fit.

But I gave him the measurements.

Oh, they've got no time to go looking for measurements.

Marvellous, eh? You can't please no one. That suit would have cost you three

times as much if you'd bought it in the shop what they've nicked it out of.

Receive any or go down to if he's caught.

Have you never received Mr Garnet? Not ever.

Get off.

I haven't, as he is my witness.

Careful, you've had stolen goods off of me, Mr Garnet. Lies.

When you was blackmailing... Blackmail?

My two lads wouldn't do... a thing like that. That's a filthy crime, that is.

Filthy? It's despicable.

And he was blackmailing me over that lady at 47 Carlisle Street. Remember?

Eh? Yes.

He was cleaning windows.

And he poked his nose through a window. What he shouldn't have been looking for?

Well, I didn't know them goods were stolen. Well, you don't think I paid for

them, do you?

Anyway, it don't make no difference now because I've given her the elbow.

So you won't be receiving any more.

It really upsets me, you know.

The way he goes on about people you know, love and respect, decent people,

friends and neighbours.

There's no loyalty round here any more. Not like it was in the old days.

The police used to have to walk the street in threes in the old days. That's

right, that's right. And only on the main street.

Not even the bravest had ventured down the back streets.

And anyone caught graffing, ho, ho, ho, they soon learnt them a lesson.

And blackmailed.

The prisons today are full of innocent people Innocent? Yes And I'll tell you

for why.

Because they're prejudiced against as soon as they're born. Well, that depends

who they are, doesn't it? Of course it doesn't. Of course it bloody does.

Listen, all they have to be is poor or working class.

It's a lot better now than it used to be. Ah, yes.

And that's because of your blacks.

I mean, they've relieved the problem a bit, God bless them. But if they was to

go back home, it'd be back on us, the people.

We'd be getting the cosh again, wouldn't we? Eh? I mean, you'd only have to slip

outside your front door and bang.

Oi, what have you got in that bag?

That's quite right.

I'm not for your blackies in the normal way, but I must admit, things have got

fairer for us since they arrived.

Of course. You know what I mean?

Something's amiss. There's one of them there. They look at him first.

They grab them for preference. I'm not complaining.

Of course you're not.

I mean, it's nice to have someone lower. Well, down the scale, I mean, it's

better for us.

It takes the pressure off. It gives you breathing space.

Not if there's too many of them, it don't.

It stops the old bill getting on our backs.

I mean, before they arrived, it was always us.

Prison was empty, it was us they filled it with.

I mean, come out of work, have your collar felt.

And you'd be inside.

Not if you're honest. That's my point. That's what I'm saying.

Not if you're honest. Not if you're honest, Mr Garnet. What about poor old

Ginger Noakes?

Honest as the day is long.

He was nubbed. They found him guilty.

Put him inside for nine months. He was guilty.

Only according to them. Only on their evidence.

Yeah, he reckoned he was fitted up. Of course he was. He reckoned they had it

for him. Of course they did.

I mean, why did they stop him? Why did they stop him coming out the door? They

was watching him.

That's it, innit? Why?

Why was they watching an innocent man?

Innocent man? God blimey, when they stopped his car, the boot was full of

Well, that may be, but that's the point. An innocent man stopped and searched.

Why? He was suspected. They was watching him. He was under surveillance.

Ah, but why? That's what Harry's saying.

He's an innocent man, honest as the day is long, not a blemish on his character.

And they stopped and searched him.

And the boot of his car was full of stolen goods.

But they never knew that when they stopped him.

When they stopped him, he was an innocent man without a stain or a

against him. He wasn't a criminal. Look, they stopped him because the front

wheels of his car was off the ground with a whale of stuff that was in the

bloody boot, for crying out loud.

He couldn't drive the car, it was so overloaded. He had four sides of beef in

there, two sides of bacon, sacks of sugar, whiskey, gin. You had whiskey off

him.

I thought that was come by honest.

What, a quid a bottle?

All his customers knew it was stolen.

I think it's a crime.

Of course, of course it is. I mean, stopping innocent people. Only hard

men with not a stain on their character being stopped. Innocent men being

treated like criminals.

Look, the police was on the gate stopping and searching people because

that stuff was being nicked. My brother -in -law was nobbled by the bloody duck

police. He used to fill his water container, you know, for the windscreen

washers. He used to fill it every day with a bottle of scotch, a bottle of

everything that was going.

Had a little bar in his front room.

Always full, he was.

Had many a party there.

Went on for years, he did.

Then suddenly, one day, he's coming out the dock gate and it starts raining.

So, of course, without thinking, he turns his wipers on, 100 % truth rum all

over his windscreen.

It's not funny. It's not funny, is it?

And that's not stealing, I suppose.

Perks, Alf. Perks is no wager.

It's very funny.

You know, one of my sons is that eldest boy. He almost became a policeman.

Broke his mother's heart, he did, but he told her what he wanted to be. Your

father will turn in his grave, she said, if you become a policeman and bring

disgrace on the whole family.

I tried to control it, you know, what you do.

I said, don't worry.

If he does become a policeman, he'll be a bent one.

Well, that's not too bad, is it?

Alfie is on jury service.

Oops. Yeah, that won't make him too popular, will it?

They don't like him much round here anyway.

In the docks in the old days, he'd never nick anything.

Wouldn't turn his head whilst we did.

I was a foreman! You was unshocksworthy!

That's what you was.

Nasty type.

The sort of man I don't like to be seen with.

Yeah.

Well, you want to watch the way you vote on that jury, Mr Garnett.

Especially if they're local lads.

Know what I mean?

Yes, a bit more of the community spirit, Mr Garnett.

Just for a change.

Think of your neighbours and their relatives.

And tell those other jurors of yours, them young lads in the docks are nearly

always innocent and wrongfully arrested, and the ones that want to convict them

are liars.

Ticklish business, that, fitting on a jury.

I don't think I'd fancy it.

You don't want them sort of people bearing a grudge against you.

Mrs Olinbury!

Gordon Bennett.

How long did it take to press a pair of bloody trousers?

Mrs. Ironberry!

What do you want? I want my trousers, and I'm freezing to death standing here.

God, I've got to go out, haven't I? There you are. It's the last time I'm

pressing those.

When did you have them cleaned last?

I don't send things to the cleaners. They ruin them. Knock all the stuffing

of them, don't they?

Stuffing? There's years of dirt ingrained in those.

They might manage to get some of that out, but I doubt it.

They stink! Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Look, well, I've been wearing these for years, haven't I? And nobody's ever

complained before, have they?

No, nobody's ever put iron on them before. All the steam was revolting.

We're now going to get some funny looks in the court today.

You're bloody right, I am.

Look!

You put the creases on the wrong way.

I've got a couple of Neftabit walking along.

Or perhaps I trod in something.

Here.

You ain't trod in anything, have you? No.

She'd made a good job of those, that Mrs. Ollamrie, if she pressed them the

right way round.

Made me look like a bloody clown, she is.

Oh, you need a red nose. Hello, hello, hello. I see, I see, I see.

Here's one of your villains.

What have they got on him?

I don't know. Nice -looking sod, isn't he?

I wouldn't like to fall out with him. Oh, vicious -looking swine. I ought to

look him up and throw away the key, people like that.

Ah, good morning, Superintendent.

I don't like these places, Alf.

They make you feel so small and vulnerable, don't they?

I wouldn't like to sit on a jury and...

Have to send someone to prison?

It's too bloody risky, isn't it?

I wouldn't like a bloody villain having a grudge against me.

You're not going to get any money, President!

I'm going to get out! And I'm going to get the chance!

The court...

Very long before I'm by a sign.

But I'll probably start to death, that's what I'll do.

But richer or poorer, I'm bloody poorer, that's a fact. That's because it's

sickness than an elf hospital.

It's sickness than an elf hospital.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0