Original subtitles

Now, my old darling, they've laid her down to rest, and now I'm missing her

all we are.

But they don't give a monkey's sanity, I just said, and they're going to all be

pinching for a start.

So it won't be very long before I'm tired of flying, but I'll probably

death, that's what I'll do.

But Richard, I'm poor, I'm bloody poor, that's a fact, that's because in

sickness and in health, that's what I'll do.

And Mr. Garnet?

What are you having, Mr. Garnet?

Same, is it?

A good one. I'm feeling generous.

Stop doing that.

I'll have one of him and a small scotch, too, if you're feeling generous.

I ain't feeling that generous.

Give this place a bad name, they will. Who?

Him, he's thought.

Never used to get them in here. I blame your Parliament. Since they made it

legal, they're springing up all over the place, they are.

You go out in a men's bog after they've been out there. Smells like a lady's

boudoir in here, son.

I wouldn't go out in a bog if they were in it. Nor me.

I wouldn't trust them.

Wouldn't turn me back on them, I tell you.

You have them in the house, though. Oh, yeah, yeah.

They're very handy round the house, very useful.

He's a good servant.

Can't cook, though, the coon.

And my friend bought you the whiskies.

Cheers.

Bloody queers all over the place now.

Always sat with a Baxter camera on, Kelly, one time.

Sat fainting at the hour now, reading the news.

Yeah, well, it's a more open society now, Alf. I mean, in the old days, well,

there was more prejudice in them days.

Yeah, we was better all for it, wasn't we? Well, it's a free country, Alf.

You can be a free country without letting people go around and do exactly

they want to do.

Ah, come on. You can't have it both ways. How can it be a free country if

don't let people do what they want to do?

Control. Control.

Discipline. Control.

Discipline? In a free country?

Yeah. You can't have a free country without control.

I'd like to be free to come in this pub and have a drink without the likes of

them in here.

Well, they bought you a drink.

Cheers. Not the point, is it? Self -discipline, that's what I'm talking

Something they've never heard of, something we know about. Not allowing

base and unnatural feelings to rule you like they've done.

I mean, if God had wanted them to be queers and behave like women, he'd have

made them women and given them women's things.

He'd have made them in the shape of men and given them men's things. They're a

mistake, people like that.

We're going to the Chinese for a meal. Do you want to come?

Oh, thanks.

Get off me!

Shake yourself.

How about that?

Pity you ain't that way off, cos I think they fancy you.

I tell you what, in the old days, young Marigold had a time of his life when

there was boats in them docks, eh?

You say there's always partial to the pansies, isn't there?

A lot of things was different when there was boats in them docks, mate. We had

full employment for a start -off.

Hello. Here's your Mrs Olinbury. She's got a jug with her.

Getting a couple of pints for Sunday lunch, I suppose.

Hey, don't she ever invite you up to lunch Sundays, Alf? No. I mean, I

you got your feet under the table there by now. Shut up. I mean, she ain't bad

for her age, is she?

I mean, she's younger than you are.

You know what they say, the older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune.

Any old port in a storm.

You want to get in there, Alf, if I was you, even if it was only for your Sunday

lunch.

Well, then.

Yeah, well, never mind about Mrs. Oliver.

We're talking about the docks, mate. It's your bloody unions what killed the

docks. It's your unions putting them into full employment, didn't they?

Demanding too much or too little.

Wrong, Alf, wrong.

It was all the hurry up, hurry up. That's what put them into full

See, in the old days, we had the right idea about employment.

If we got a job, we made it last.

We didn't rush around like blue -arse flies like they do nowadays.

I mean, we used to not listen to all this hurry -up talk, this high

and hurry -up jargon.

Our philosophy was save a bit of work for tomorrow.

We wasn't greedy like they are today.

I mean, today there was one man doing a job where they used to be free.

And two young lads as well.

Job -sharing. That's what we believed in. I know, and everybody worked at the

speed of the slowest.

Christianity.

Get off out of it. Christianity, simple as that.

I mean, protect the weakest.

Don't run when others less able can only walk.

I mean, now they want to work for the speed of the fastest.

And there's four million unemployed to prove it.

No, mate, it's all wrong. In the old days, in them docks, you could see the

piling up.

I've seen them docks full of boats all waiting to be unloaded and hundreds more

out in the channel laying off their anchor waiting to come in.

You could sit in them docks and look at them boats and say to yourself, if I

stay at this pace for a... might slower, for years unloading all that stuff, use

your loaf I used to think, and there's enough work to last me there till I

retire.

All them boats lying out at anchor said, oh, pissed off and got unloaded

somewhere else.

They couldn't get unloaded anywhere else. I mean, if they had to be unloaded

there, all that cargo belonged to people here. That's where we had them, by the

cobblers. I mean, they had to be unloaded here by us. No good going

else. I mean, they were our imports.

All that stuff had to be delivered to people here.

Yeah, but them people got fed up waiting, Arthur, didn't they?

The things they wanted for their factories and their shops was all lying

the channel there, going rotten, wasn't they? Yeah, well, that's where we came

in, innit?

The overtime, double time, triple time.

They was good days, they was, Alf.

That's when your man was king.

You could strike in those days, all right. I mean, they had to pay you.

They had to come to town with their fast.

Otherwise, if they didn't, we'd let their cargoes stay up there in the

and rot.

Thanks to Margaret Thatcher, woman though she might be, them days were

mate, when the unions was running the country.

Our bloody union, they thought they was running the country.

Pathetic. They had no say at all. I mean, that last strike we had, we was

strike for months, we was.

run out of employment benefit, run out of supplementary, but run out of every

bloody benefit we did. So I called a meeting, didn't I? I got all the other

moderates together, all the other middle -of -the -roaders, and I said, now,

look, I said, enough is enough.

We've shown our strength.

Oh, pardon me.

We've shown ourselves. I said, let's go back to work.

So we did.

The bloody place wasn't there no more.

Bill was up for sale, blasted all over the buggered off, the lot of them.

We all had to go out and look for another job. I wouldn't have minded, but

happy there, so don't talk to me about bloody unions.

Yeah, yeah, well, I don't know about you, Alf, but I'm looking forward to my

lunch. I love my Sunday lunch.

Best lunch of the week, that is.

Roast beef, Yorkshire pudding.

Roast potatoes.

Got fresh garden peas this week. And a nice bit of sirloin on the bone with

streaks of fat running right through it.

Oh, that's going to roast well, that is.

How do you go on about Sunday lunch these days, Alf?

I don't get none, do I?

Well, that's hard, that is. That must be one of the things you miss her for

most, isn't it? She was a good cook, Alf.

Yeah, it brings it, doesn't it?

I mean, what they meant to you and what a sad, sad loss you suffered. I'm

suffering. I'm suffering. I mean, we was close, you know.

I mean, I knew I'd miss her, but... I didn't think a bit is bad.

No, no. I wouldn't like to dwell on what I do without mind.

Good cook.

Born to cook. Born to the kitchen, she was.

Here. Why don't you come and have Sunday lunch with us, Alf?

Oh, thanks. I'd like that, Alf. Right.

That's done.

I'll fix that one week.

Smell that.

Smell it. Of course, smell it.

Oh, you talk about nostalgia.

That's the smell that reminds me of London on a Sunday.

Miles and miles of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding cooking.

I've got to go.

She'll be here on Sundays.

She'll be here to cook my Sunday dinner. Bloody useless black fairies.

And that thing upstairs calls herself a neighbour. She could do it, wouldn't

her?

She knows I'm down here on my own. She's got to cook for herself. She's just as

easy to cook for me now. It's too much bloody trouble, isn't it?

I could sit here and starve for all that NNN care.

They call themselves Christians.

Oh, blimey. Love thy neighbour.

Not one of them knocked on my door and said, have I got this Sunday dinner? Oh,

yeah. They put pennies in the box for Ethiopians. They give things to Oxfam.

Cricket off, cricket off, flying off to Africa looking for starving bluggies.

But nobody, nobody knocks on my door and says, have I got this Sunday dinner?

Where is the bloody...

He's always hiding things in his ears. I'll suck him.

He's important to the bloody council.

There's nothing in. Look, no shopping.

Nothing. Bloody idle he is.

Rita should be here.

Fine daughter she is. Believe me, her bloody will starve you.

Where is she?

For me Sunday dinner.

I bet there's no butter.

It can't be worth looking for it because I know there won't be any.

That's it.

Dry bread for your Sunday dinner.

Marvellous. There's criminals.

There's bloody murderers sitting in prison. I've got a Sunday dinner and

got... There's muggers, there's rapists sitting down to roast beef and Yorkshire

pudding. I have got to eat bloody stale, drained bread.

Bloody Labour Council.

Vote for us.

We'll look after you if you're poor.

this Sunday dinner, nor your SDP. I can eat dry bread as far as they're

concerned. Who's that? Who's that?

What?

What's that?

Oh, hello, Mr. Garnet. It's just a bit of lunch I brought over.

Oh, blimey.

Roast beef in Yorkshire.

Spotty, thick and crusty.

Thank you. It's for Mrs.

Hollingberry.

Is that my dinner?

Oh.

I'm speaking Yorkshire pudding.

Pussy, dick and cat.

It saves you cooking, doesn't it? Oh, I'm very grateful. Well, what are

neighbours for if they can't give a helping hand? That's what I always say.

go and eat it while it's hot and look after yourself.

And if you want anything, you know where I am.

Oh, what a nice... and she goes to my church.

Oh, that does smell good.

Well, mustn't let it get cold.

That's it.

That's it, they've had it. All of them.

Bloody Marigold, Rita, that thing upstairs.

They've had it. They can't do nothing for me, I won't do nothing for them.

That's it, that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned.

I'll do my own cooking from now on.

And I'll open my window when I do the cooking and let them smell it.

They're hungry when they smell it.

They might laugh then, won't they?

£27 .90.

How much?

£27 .90.

Oh, blimey, I thought inflation was going down.

£27. Nobody's told you, has they?

I've got to pull it out of my pension, haven't I?

If we do it, look.

I lost my wife, didn't I?

I'm making a meat pudding. I don't want that.

Do you mind waiting your turn?

I've been waiting out there for you. You bloody wait, mate.

I'm making a meat pudding. I don't need that.

I don't want that. I know you're raw, Scott.

Who put that in? It wasn't me.

I don't eat no jock food.

I can do without that.

Got no gollywog on there for a start.

Did you wait your bloody turn?

How much did that come to?

Finished? Yes.

£19.

You're still way over the top, my dear. That's no good to me, is it? Shall we

make this a bit simpler? What? Will you shut up and wait your bloody turn?

Look. What? How much can you spend?

Well, er...

Five. Just wait your turn, you silly fat cow. Wait.

All right.

Five. Seven quid in there.

Seven quid? Yes. I need a couple for the pub tonight, so say a fiver.

And you're making a meat pudding?

Yeah. Well, I've got to cook for myself. I'm a pensioner. I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what. Your wife died.

There you go. I've got to cook for myself. Here's some flour.

It's not easy, man. Here's some meat, and I'll throw in a bag of drugs, all

right? Oh.

Here you are.

Compliments to the management.

No charge? No charge.

Another chops and all.

Take them and go.

Thanks very much.

See you next week, then.

plenty of food.

They're not stupid.

There's nothing lives in this house, except me and her upstairs.

I ain't seen a fly for years.

I got pissed off out of it.

So would I if I had wings.

All down the door, just if I got any sense. All hovering about over the

down there.

Oh, look, that looks nice.

No, that's better. Look, steak pudding, my favourite.

life flies it come in handy them wings fly anywhere you fancy couldn't you

wouldn't have to spend the winters here you know off into the sun don't have to

do no work get fed up flying about just have a rest sit on somebody's windowsill

in the sun have a kip and they're all equal aren't they flies i mean you'll

them all eating off the same bit of food i mean you don't get somebody saying no

you can't come in here and you're not allowed in there

Don't have to bother with the DHSS, neither.

Nor your National Health Service.

I mean, all that rubbish them flies eat, they never get ill, do they?

Don't have to peel potatoes, neither.

Nor cook their own dinner.

Bloody thing.

call, wouldn't she, eh?

I'll reverse the charges next time.

Hello?

Hello, are we here?

Oh, I'm sorry about this.

I've only got to ask about the pastry for me meat puddin', see? The meat's all

cooked and... Oh, I can tell you about pastry. Just a minute. Hello?

Where shall I meet you, then?

I don't know.

John Lewis's.

We've got a cross line here.

I'm waiting to talk to my daughter and you have come onto my line.

No, we were talking and you've come onto our line. No, you have come onto my

line. Will you put your phone down? No, you put your phone down.

We're talking.

Well, shut your mouth and give your bloody tongue a rest.

Let somebody else talk for a change. Don't you use that language to me. I'll

whatever language you want. I'm talking on my own phone.

Well, you bloody will sit there, missus, and I shall bloody well sit here and

all.

What?

Shut up, Rita. You keep her out of this.

No. No, I'm not going to let her get away with that. No.

I've got as much right to talk on my phone as you talk on hers.

Put that phone down. No, it's the principle of the thing. Now, put her

phone down. She has come onto my line. I'm not...

and I'll tell the operator too because you're obstructing my line. It's my

it's not your line, it's my line. I won't tell her.

I'm telling you.

Just a minute, just a minute.

She's got her husband, you what?

She's got her husband, you what?

He's going to be brave on the phone, isn't he? Oh, yeah.

Look, you come down here, mate, and you'll be sorry you come down here. I'll

tell you, that's my start -off. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah!

Look, I've done a bit too, mate. Give me that. Give me that.

Listen, I'm sorry about all this.

All right, but I said I was sorry. Don't apologise to him! Get up! Listen!

Are you going to let me speak?

Look, don't you use that language with me.

You'll do what exactly?

and speak to me like that.

Oh, will you?

Will you?

Right, well, I'm going to trace your number. Oh, come on, come on, Mr Garnet.

I'll help you with your pastry.

And for your information, I am not a contortionist.

I told you, Mr Garnet.

If only you'd think your pride and try to be pleasant to Mrs Ollingbury.

Well, at least not quite so rude.

Rude? Who's rude?

Well, she's willing, she says, to cook for you, provided, she says, you are

prepared. to make yourself handy for her.

What does she mean handy for her?

time is she? She'll be back.