All language subtitles for In Sickness And In Health s02e02

Now, my old darling, they've laid her
down to rest, and now I'm missing her

all my heart.

But they don't give a monkey's down at
the age of death, and they call it I'll

be pension for a start.

No, it won't be very long before I'm
tired of dying, but I'll probably starve

death, that's what I'll do.

But richer or poorer, I'm bloody poor,
that's a fact, just because it's fixed

and it helps us that I do.

Get the shit running out for the
daughters.

Bloody hell.

Bloody milk bottles.

Who put the milk bottles in? Bloody Mrs.
Oliver, I suppose. Mrs.

Poison Ivy upstairs.

Mrs. Puddin.

Mother of gold.

Did put them there. Bloody daft place,
innit? Put milk bottles under your feet

right where you're walking.

Where? Come on.

Where's the key, Al? Hmm?

Come on, key.

Find the old.

Come on.

I can't find the old.

There's a bishop set in action.

Oh, I'm busting through. Come on.

Come on, key.

Key.

I should have gone before I left. You
should go before you leave.

Come on, Key.

Key, in, in, in. Come on, Key, turn.

Turn.

Who

put

the sink there?

Where is it?

Where is it?

Where is it gone?

Come on.

There it is.

There it is.

Oh, God.

Come on.

Come on.

And again.

And again.

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.

Leah?

It's only me, Daddy.

I went back to office, right? to because
he insisted, but it all upset him.

Just be a company, that's all.

Just be a company. Well, it's rotten on
your own, you know.

Just,

no, no, darling.

No, no.

She wore a little jacket of blue.

No, no.

She wore a little jacket of blue.

And all the same, that's why she walked.

Good night,

old girl.

I miss you.

I do, I do, I do.

She don't believe me.

I always loved you.

I did, I did.

Don't look, I'll take my trousers off.

I just,

I just gonna have a little nightcap.

If you were the only girl.

Help, help me to sleep.

Hey, just, just the one.

Just the one in the world.

And that one.

The old age is not but the old age. Aha!

That's Father Christmas and the chimney.

Where bloody Marigold can't find it.
Bloody Marigold.

Bloody. Ah, yeah.

And a bit of the alternative medicine.

Bloody Marigold, bloody old milked
social worker.

You want to save a child, kill a social
worker.

Oh, that first gulp.

It hurts.

And the persevere.

Bloody Marigold lives.

Little spy.

Little black coon puffed the spy.

Where'd you get the money to buy that?
You're so hard up.

That's... That's my... That's between
me, the... My conscience and the ballot

box.

I'd better go and bolt the door,
otherwise I'm Mrs. Oliver in racket.

Mrs. Bloody Oliver.

Mrs.

Puddleface.

Well, why didn't you lock the door?

You didn't lock the door. Why didn't you
bolt the door last night?

You've got to bolt the door.

You've got to bolt the door.

You've got to bolt the door.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Mrs. Oliver, I bolted the door. I bolted
the door.

Bloody little pickle face.

Don't know if she thinks they're going
to come after her.

Oh, blimey.

Get out.

She'd bring a sex maniac to the census,
she would.

I've got his key.

Oh, oh.

What? The door's bolted.

Oh, he's in.

Come on, open the door. Oh, my God. Oh,
Mr.

Garnet.

Mr. Garnet.

Mr. Garnet.

Mr. Garnet, wake up.

Mr. Garnet, wake up. There's someone at
the door. Mr. Garnet.

Disgusting pig.

Stinks like a polecat.

What, knocking for us to let them in?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Here.

Could be muggers.

Could be muggers, hooligans.

Phone the police.

We haven't got a phone.

Some way. No, no, no, it might not be.
No, it might not. It might be all right.

What? Something might have happened.

Perhaps the house is on fire and they're
knocking to let us know.

Did you smell anything?

Only you.

you know.

Shut up.

Where have you been till now, eh?

What have you been till, Mum? You shut
up.

Where have you been till now?

Out. Out, out, yes, with him.

Oh, you can talk with her.

There's nothing going on with me and
her.

Well, if it wasn't going on while Mum
was alive. There's nothing going on, I

tell you.

I don't believe it.

The passion's killing me.

Do you know what time it is coming in
here with him?

Shining us up in front of neighbours.

You wouldn't be doing this if your
mother was alive.

Do you know? You know bloody well what.

What?

You don't want me to say it, do you?

And with him, with the blackie.

I don't think you do. Oh, I make you
sick, well, you make me sick. No, I'm

to... Just a minute, just a minute. What
about him?

What about him? What's he doing?

Ask him. He's sitting there.

He's not sleeping here.

Jed. What was that?

Jed.

I can't hear you.

Yes, yes, yes!

I was faithful to your mother while she
was alive. And I'm faithful to her

memory now she's gone.

I have never succumbed to other women.

Or men.

I can recall when he used to be a bit
decent on the wireless there. A culture

with your Henry Hall and your Ambrose
and your Geraldo and Billy Cotton.

How far are you going back?

To when there was only English living
here and where men was men.

It's his day for cleaning up, if it's
all the same to you.

I'd like to keep the place a bit neat
and tidy, if you don't mind.

Well, you're not entitled to him now.

Not pre -help.

Not now Mrs Darnett has passed over to
the other side.

Here, did they tell you about my
daughter?

Who? Well, you work for the council,
don't you?

I'm just a home help.

Well, I tried to phone them. I tried to
phone them from that call box round the

corner. Oh, there's a message written
for you in that call box. I know. When I

find out who wrote it... No, not now.

This one is pinned on the wall.

Tell Mr Garnet Rita phoned. Well, why
didn't you tell me? I've just told you.

Before! You're supposed to tell me
before!

Well, I'm not a messenger boy!

you phoned?

100, the operator.

No. When you got through to the council,
who did you speak to then?

My wife last week. I had to get up and
let your cane.

Hush. She wouldn't put me through to the
council. She said I had to put money in

the box first.

I'm an old age pensioner, you know.

Well, I mean, I've got no money to waste
putting it in phone boxes. I told her,

it's private. I said, it's council
business. It's their house.

I mean, the...

Council be free. We pay them enough.

Wouldn't do them any harm. They charge
enough rent.

Anyway, you tell them what I said. You
pass on the message.

Tell them I want a door. Put it on my
desk.

Tell them it's Mrs Hollingbury.

They know where I am. They know where I
live.

Know where to come when they want the
rent.

I won't vote for them again, tell them.
If I don't get my door, that's the last

vote they're getting out of me, tell
them.

And I wouldn't have voted for them last
time if it hadn't been for him.

Persuading me.

I've never voted Labour before.

If my poor husband was alive, he'd turn
in his grave.

But I didn't know how to tell the
priest.

Because, I mean, they burn down
churches, the reds. It's worse than your

your reds.

Vote it for Labour, Dad.

No. And you've got Mrs Hollingbray here.
No, they won't put a door out there for

you. Well, well, well, the woman told
you. Look, I only done it for your

didn't I?

Labour's better for your handicap,
that's all.

I wouldn't vote for them again, I tell
you.

Unless they put your pension up.

Are they?

No, I don't care.

I don't vote for self -interest. I vote
for the good of the country.

Listen, we've got a front door out
there.

Yes, but I have to share it with you.

And while that might be all right for
you, it is not all right for me.

I mean, I don't want people talking
about me.

I don't want my good name blackened.

I don't want people pointing me out in
the street saying, there she is, that's

the one, living in the same house.

Sharing the same front door with a man?

An unattached male.

Oh, God.

I'm not silly, you know. I know them and
their slanderous tongues. Well, you

should do. You're one of them.

Anyway, you don't have to worry about
me, missus. I wouldn't touch you with a

big barge pole.

Love is tiff.

You're mad, you're pussy!

She's mad?

Not for you, she ain't. Oh, yeah. She's
as fond of you as I am of Enoch Powell.

Oh, yeah.

Plus, she'd like to make out with all
the same women.

I know them.

What? Buck, Park, Catanova? Yeah.

Yeah, I know. Listen.

You give her half a chance.

She'd have me walking down the aisle,
don't you worry. What are you talking

about? She can't stand you. If you add
anything inside that curly nut of yours,

Marigold, you realise that women always
make out that don't want what they can't

have. And you reckon she wants you?

Wouldn't surprise me. And she's just
making out, she don't?

You're getting near it, Sambo. Oh,
that's why she wants the stairs boarded

and her own front door with bolts and
chains to protect herself from you in

you feel like nipping up the stairs. I'm
giving her one.

she doesn't want you because she knows
she can't have you.

Fantasy, innit? No.

Women all the same, you build fantasies,
you love them.

It's all them romantic, trashy novels
you read, all that Barbara Castle.

Cartland! Sit there reading and they're
doing dreaming about some Arab prince

who's going to come and carry them off
on the back of his horse. Seems to me

like you're the one who's fantasising,
like you fantasise that England's going

to beat the West Indians at cricket.

Not the century buona.

What she wants, see, is build that door
with all them

bolts and chains and have me come up the
stairs and break it down and carry her

off screaming and protesting and submit
her to my will. That's what she wants.

That's what they all want. That's what
women have always wanted.

Bloody women.

I got me hat and coat on. Just see that
you're in by half past ten.

What? I'm bolting that door at half past
ten.

And if you're not in, you can stay out.

I'd please myself about what time I come
in.

Well, please yourself.

But I'm still bolting that door at half
past ten.

I'm not going through last night again.
I never got a wink of sleep with all

that commotion.

I'm taking a sleeping tablet at half
past ten after I've bolted that door.

And if you're not in... Do you know good
knocking? I won't hear you.

Look, I am master in my own house.

Yes.

And you'll be master outside it if
you're not back in it by half past ten.

Eleven.

My child!

You behave like one.

That's nice of you, Arthur.

Yeah.

Yeah, makes you change from sitting in
the pub. Yeah.

Bit different, I'll grant you.

Like I was saying, Arthur, have you
given it any thought? What?

Like what I said, you know, about
getting together with her, like tying

with her.

What, marrying her, you mean?

Well, I wouldn't put it out of your
mind.

Well, Mrs.

Olivery. Well, a woman can be very
handy.

I mean, useful, you know, useful about
the house. She can still get about the

house, can't she? Oh, she still gets
around the house. Cooking and cleaning

that.

And what I've seen of her, there's a few
years left in her yet.

I mean, you've got the roast beef and
Yorkshire pudding on Sundays and the odd

meat pudding and pies and other creature
comforts. It's not to be sneezed at.

Yeah, well, I don't think we're exactly
suited half, I tell you the truth.

Well, you don't have to love a woman to
marry her.

I mean, you take your upper classes,
your aristocracy, I mean, those people

don't marry for love.

Physician, that's all they're interested
in.

Joining a dynasty, putting two big
fortunes together.

You marry Mrs. Olinbury and you'll do
the same thing. Use your loaf, putting

pensions together.

Of course, you'll have to give her the
old jubils, but I don't suppose... What?

Give her the jubils, you know, the
old... You can manage that. You'll only

called on, what, once a week?

And from what I heard from young
Marigold, you're getting on all right

He's been talking about me. No, no, no.

All he said was that, you know, you're
hitting it off. Hitting it off? Yeah.

blimey. Hitting it off.

Here. What?

Arthur, you've got the right time. I
think I've stopped.

Yes, quarter to eleven.

Oh, God.

I've got to go.

What's the hurry?

What's the hurry, Arthur? They don't
stay here for another half hour. No,

on. What's this?

Oh, God.

She wouldn't... She wouldn't dare.

Thank you.

What's happened?

What is it?

Am I playing too rough?

Billy!

What's wrong?

It's Mrs. Olivery. She's took sleeping
tablets.

Oh, good God. I'll phone the ambulance.

No, no. Look. It's Mr. Garnet. But what
do you want at this time of night?

It's Mrs. Olivery. She's swallowed
sleeping tablets.

Oh, dear.

Phone the ambulance.

Yeah, I'm phoning the ambulance.

I'm phoning the ambulance.

I'll go over and see what I can do. I
used to be a nurse.

Where's she going?

She's gone over to help. Hello?

See what she can do. She's studied
Thursday.

Shut up, shut up. Hello?

Ambulance?

Yes, ambulance.

Well, of course it's serious. There's a
bloody idiot on the line here.

Yes, it's very urgent.

Attempted suicide.

Sleeping tablet.

I don't know. Hang on a minute. How many
did you take? One. One?

Did you say one?

Yeah.

I'm afraid there's been some mistake.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

You know what? I told you I was sorry.

Why did you say you only took one? One
isn't dangerous.

I know that.

Will you tell me something awful has
happened? Something awful has happened.

What? She took a sleeping tablet and
locked me out.

up and it's pouring down with rain out
there. You woke me up to tell me this.

Well, I knew you wouldn't mind. You're a
good neighbour, you are.

Besides that, we're friends, aren't we?
No, we're not. We're not friends. Of

course we are.

Of course we're friends. Oh, blimey.

There's not many who'd do for me what
you're doing tonight.

Doing for you? What am I doing for you?
Letting me sleep here. No, no.

You're not sleeping here.

I'm not fussy. You go off to bed. Go on,
I'll be all right.

What's that, the ambulance?

It's me wife.