Original subtitles

- [Announcer] Black and Sexy baby.

- Yeah, man, it's just been a really tough year.

You know, like, everything with her mom,

you know, a kid on the way.

- Mhmm.

- So, I just told her she could stay with me

until she get back on her feet.

- So she's still living with you

but y'all are divorced, or?

- Technically, no (chuckles).

- Oh, okay.

- Just separated.

- Ah

I mean, that's nice. You know.

- [Waiter] Hey, what can I get you guys?

- Let's start off with just a couple of waters.

- Can I get the veggie lo mein,

the veggie fried rice, the side of shrimp, and egg rolls.

- [Waiter] Side shrimp, eggs rolls.

- Do you want egg rolls?

- Uh, egg rolls, yeah, yeah that's cool

- [Waiter] I'll bring it for the table, it's cool.

- Bring two egg rolls.

- And yeah, everything just seem like

it's piling up over here at once, man.

- Ugh, I feel it.

- Every time I turn around it's just, like.

- Something just like on your shoulders.

- Yeah, just.

- Are you gonna, are you gonna eat that?

- Damn girl. I mean, is you, like, pregnant

or something?

Like, I'm just saying like, you ordering up all this food.

- (laughs) You got jokes. You so funny.

Yeah, no, I just like to eat.

- Just so much man. It's just like, you know,

car transmission went out.

- Yeah. I'm listening. I am.

I'm going on YouTube, trying to fix it myself,

because I don't think I can afford a mechanic.

- Yes. YouTube is great.

- Yeah. I think I'll use one of the kid's diaper money

to pay for this.

- Oh, that's so sweet. You know what?

Cloth diapers are the way to go.

I had a great time.

- Me too.

- Thank you so much.

- So I was thinking, how about we go back to my spot

and watch a movie?

- You know what? I'm really gassy.

- Wait, you're not trying to go dutch, like, it's 2017,

like men and women are trying to be equal.

- No. I wouldn't do that. Next time.

I got to go home and feed my dog. Mhmm.

- Ah, what's your dog's name?

- Little Choo-Choo.

- Yellow. It's been great.

- Yellow?

- Like, um.

- Shh, it's all right.

- Hey, no, seriously.

- Shh.

- Why you whispering?

- I don't no, but I'm going.

- You just don't take more food and leave me.

- It's okay. It's all right.

- Just a fork full of rice.

- Shh. Pound it. Pound it.

(whooshing noise sounds)

(whooshing noise sounds)

(door closes)

- You need a ride don't you?

(music begins)

♪ Ah, hey, it's the end of the weekend I ain't got paid ♪

♪ Phone bills due and the rent's delayed ♪

♪ Don't trip, we got a plan at the end of the day ♪

♪ That's how we're living making broke look sexy ♪

- Hail your arms up.

Exhale, bring your palms down to the center of your chest.

Inhale up.

Exhale, right arm down.

Reach your left arm up and over.

Inhale to center.

Switch your arms.

Exhale.

Inhale to center, both arms lift.

Bring them down to the center of your chest.

Windmill your arms open. Step your left foot back.

Open up to warrior two.

Bend into your right knee.

Stack your knee over your ankle.

Press your palms down, relax your shoulders.

Rotate your right arm down.

Left arm follows.

- Wait, what?

- [Freddie] Chill. We're transitioning into downward dog.

- [Thalissa] We?

I feel like y'all are doing so much right now. With this.

- Don't say y'all.

- Okay.

- Because (indistinct) ain't got shit to do with this.

- Well, you know, there are free yoga videos

on YouTube, right?

- Okay. No, not like this.

I believe in supporting other black women

in their nontraditional careers, just like myself.

- But is this actually supporting her?

- Oh wait, she's coming.

- Act normal.

- Hi, Freddie.

- Allie. Hey, how are you?

Did you think about my offer?

- I did Freddie, but you already know my mom

does my social media.

- Okay. Just because she sends out a WhatsApp broadcast

to her little friends every Sunday don't mean

she's actually doing social media.

- Mhmm. Okay.

- You know?

And besides I took this picture like 20 minutes ago.

It already has 90 likes, so.

- Okay Freddie, it's really nice and everything,

but I need for you not to do this anymore.

No more free classes.

I don't want to see you out here jacking my moves.

- Jacking your moves? What?

No, we out here to win it for the Gram right y'all?

- Yeah, for the Gram.

- Cheese.

- Okay. It sounds nice everything Freddie, but no more.

Okay? Seriously.

- Okay.

- I'll call you about all the other stuff.

- Yeah. Call me.

- Yeah, have a good day. Namaste ladies.

- Namaste.

- Namaste.

- Namaste girl.

- Namaste.

- That was crazy awkward. I didn't like that.

- What? No. Allie is the homie, you know?

- That's not the way to live.

- She knows she wants to hire me, but she just,

she playin too much.

- Oh. So this is how you get all your clients,

you like stalk them and steal their classes?

- What? I am not stalking. I'm over here

just doing yoga in the park.

- Are you sure your Aunt's cool with us laying

in her bed like this?

- Should be fine.

- You know what? Today would be a great day to go to brunch,

get unlimited mimosas,

put on a little, cute little summer dress.

- Hmm. Well, that sounds very expensive.

- [Thalissa] Okay. Yeah.

- You having, like, flashbacks to a past life.

- [Freddie] Right.

- I am feeling a little hungry though.

All that down dog action have like my, you know,

digestive system running.

- Hmm. Me too.

- Right, exactly.

- You know what? I think it's time for operation Tagged.

- Yep.

- What is operation Tagged?

- All right. Let me do that.

- Tagged? It's an app for food.

- [Thalissa] I thought Tagged was an app for dating.

- [Rita] Yes. It is.

- That's the same thing. It's like dates equal food.

- What about that one?

- What? I am so confused right now. What is happening?

- Oh, he super liked you.

- Ew, what?

- Oh, he likes you too.

- What about this one?

- What? Do I just swipe left?

Because he looks a mess, but hashtag hair though.

- Wait, no.

(indistinct) hair long and luscious.

- It's not about attractiveness.

No, look, we're dating for food, not looks.

Oh, I should tweet that. I date for food, not looks.

Doing that right now.

- [Thalissa] Oh wow.

- Can you focus on the task at hand madam?

I'm trying to eat, you want to tweet.

- Wait. Let me get this friendship-boss tweet

real quick though.

- You trying to send off this fire tweet

in the middle of my food.

- Back to the app.

- I don't understand what's happening.

- Okay, what about that one?

- I'm going to find you some. What?

Okay, no men with trench coats. No thank you.

- (laughs).

- What?

- Not the trench coat.

- No. Well, okay, what about him?

This is a nice, polite young one.

- What? Can I see?

- No. He look like a mama's boy.

- [Rita] Yeah, exactly. Mama's boys be buying people food.

- [Freddie] I'm down.

- I know this dude. I mean, I don't know him personally,

but he like dated my homegirl, well my ex homegirl.

- So I would say swipe left for that.

- But, did he pay for the date though?

- [Rita] Did he pay for the food though?

- Did he put out money though?

- I mean, yeah, he paid, but still, he is like,

not a good person. He's not!

- [Rita] He's got money.

- He's not a good person.

- [Rita] He's got money.

- [Freddie] Tried and true.

- I'm about to message him right now.

- Do it.

- Really?

- We about to get food in our bellies.

- Y'all doing a lot right now.

- Do you want some food?

- You sent it for real?

- Handled. Call me Liv, because it's handled.

- What?

- Handled.

- I'll call you Fitz.

- Oh my gosh.

- Wait, wait a minute.

- I can't believe you just texted this dude.

- Yo, he already responded.

- Of-course he did.

- Yes. Yes.

- [Thalissa] He is thirsty, and he is trash, so.

- For current purposes, thirsty is perfect. Here you go.

Same spot. Tell him to meet us at the same spot. Same spot.

- Same spot. All right, plan is being set into motion

right now.

- This is a mess.

- You send him the address?

- Regular place? Yes. Our spot.

- You should care that he's hot.

- It's on. We about to get fed.

- Heyo.

- What?

- What. Did that.

- Done.

- What?

- Operation Tagged.

- Got him.

- I don't understand what's happening.

- [Rita] Mah.

- What?

(upbeat music plays)

(door opens)

- D-Rock from Tagged, right?

- Ah, yeah. Queen Shea Butter?

- (laughs) The one and only.

- (laughs) It's nice to finally meet you.

- Yeah. Same.

- You look kind of familiar.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I get that a lot. I have that face. That familiar face.

- Yeah (laughs).

- You know, everyone kind of has. Not really, but, yeah.

- Yeah. Okay. Oh, I got you a gift.

- Really?

- Yeah. Yep. So, since your name Queen Shea Butter,

I would get you some super organic Shea butter

from the motherland.

- Wow.

- I got you a nice little canister thingy and everything

(laughs).

- Oh my goodness. You really shouldn't have.

- I just wanted to, you know.

- I saw these on my website.

- Ready?

- Ashton! Oh my goodness.

- How you doing?

- How are you? I'm good.

- I'm doing good man.

- How's your mom? I saw her like two weeks ago.

- Oh no. She's cool, man. She's finally let that dude go.

She's all good.

- Oh good. And how's little Kiki?

- Man, still bad as hell.

We're gonna work on it though.

- Okay, I'm good.

- You ready to order?

- Yes, I am. Can I get the veggie lo mein,

veggie friend rice with a side of shrimp. Yeah. The usual.

- That's it?

- For now, you know (laughs).

- I didn't know, that was fast (laughs).

Can I get the orange chicken, the veggie fried rice,

and, might as well get some egg rolls for the whole table.

- Oh, egg rolls. I love egg rolls. They're amazing.

- Look at that.

- [Freddie] Thank you.

- We have something in common already. So, yeah.

- You know. A little bit.

- Yeah. So are you looking for anything in particular?

Like what you, a beautiful woman like you doing on Tagged?

- Thanks. Yeah, no, I'm just looking to meet people.

(coughs) Free food, you know.

- Oh, okay. Hmm? Did you?

- I was saying looking to make connections with people,

vibing, you know.

- Yeah. Same, yeah.

- Yeah. Yeah. That's great. You?

- Pretty much the same thing.

You know, connections and, it was just.

You know what, fuck it, I'm looking for just love,

you know, I'm looking for a queen.

I'm looking for, like, real, true black love.

I'm looking for what my parents, I'm just at the age where

I just can't waste any time, you know?

Like why waste time? So I don't even.

- Oh, you know, I feel an emergency coming.

Can you hold on one second? Sorry.

Work. Work stuff.

- It's fine. I get it. It's cool.

(message sends)

(message sends)

(message sends)

- You know what? Thank you for being so patient.

- It's all good. It's all good.

- Yeah.

- So, what did you say you did for work?

- I have a few businesses.

- A few businesses? Ah, that's dope. That's dope.

- Yep. Starving. My goodness.

- Yeah.

- So hungry.

- [Ashton] Here you guys go.

- Lit. Thank you.

- [Ashton] Be right back with the rest of it.

- This is so good. Nice. God, I love egg rolls.

They're amazing.

- [D-Rock] They do look pretty good.

- [Ashton] There you go. Please enjoy.

- Thank you.

- Yo, thank you man.

- Thank you so much. Mm.

- Yeah.

- Bon appetite (laughs).

- Yes (laughs).

- This is so good.

- So, yeah, I was pretty much saying, like,

I'm just looking for like black love and like,

I was trying to put it out there, hopefully it comes back.

- Mhmm.

- You know, know, like the black Instagram love pages,

I look on there and I click the pictures

and I just hope that they just.

- [Thalissa] Freddie? What?

(all squeal and shriek)

- Join us.

- Hi, I'm Rita.

- I'm Derek.

- Pleasure.

- I'm Thalissa.

- I'm Derek.

- Oh, all right muscles. Okay.

Got a praying hand on your arm.

Okay, holla.

- Right?

- Blessings.

- Yeah. Wow.

- This is cute.

- [Rita] This is super cute.

- How's the food?

- Delicious. It's so good.

- Orange chicken is pretty good so far.

- [Thalissa] Nice.

- Are there carrots in the rice?

- [Ashton] Are you ladies joining us for dinner?

- I wouldn't really say joining.

- We wouldn't want to impose.

- [Freddie] They're not imposing at all.

- No they're not. No they're not imposing.

- [Freddie] They're not imposing at all.

- [Thalissa] Oh okay.

- No, not at all. Not at all.

- [Freddie] No, it's fine.

Let's do like a small, tiny side of egg roll to pass around

because I know you guys are hungry.

- You know what? That'd be great.

I hear that the egg rolls here are amazing.

(everyone speaks)

- I am definitely starving.

- Everything looks so delicious.

- I mean, if y'all want to order some food,

y'all should do it.

- Oh.

- Are you sure?

- [Thalissa] Really?

- [D-Rock] I mean, I'm going to pay.

Of-course I'm going to pay. I mean, I'm not ballin', but.

(all exclaim)

- Swish.

- No, no. I'm like, on a budget though.

- Okay, you don't have to tell us. Honestly.

- [Thalissa] It's okay. We just appreciate the candor.

- Yeah.

- I mean, what's good?

- Okay, so I got the veggies lo mein,

I got the veggie fried rice, I got a side of shrimp,

and we got like, egg rolls to share, basically.

- [D-Rock] Yeah.

- You know what? Actually I would like to have the same.

- All of it?

- All of that.

- All of it?

- I need you to get me the shrimp and broccoli,

with a side of the vegetable lo mein,

a side order of the steamed rice, three packets

of duck sauce

- Three.

- [Rita] Three packets of the soy sauce.

- She's very particular.

- I'm like particular. A couple of fortune cookies,

you know, for the table, and then like four,

and then we'll get that to-go, that order right there.

- Oh, yeah.

- For here though, if I could get the teriyaki chicken

with the side order of the vegetable fried rice,

I see you guys put some carrots in it now,

that looks really nice. Really classy.

- [Freddie] It's so good.

- And I don't want to get overboard.

I don't want to get carried away.

- You over. It's like, your over. Like it's.

- Like also, maybe just some water?

- Yeah.

- [Ashton] We got Sprites in the back,

if you want some of those.

- Oh.

- Yo, it's fine. No, no Sprites. No.

- [Freddie] It's not too expensive right?

- For everyone? Just like a round of Sprites?

- [Freddie] Ball out. Ball out.

- Heyo.

- Heyo.

- When in Rome.

- You wanted Sprite, right?

- Who doesn't love Sprite? Right?

- Right. Obey your thirst.

- Is it free refills?

- Yeah, so, a round of Sprite for the table. Please.

- [Ashton] A round of Sprites.

- A round of sprites. Just ice please, man.

- Appreciate you.

- Thank you.

- What a nice ass.

- Thank you.

Thank a lot Ashton.

- You've told me about him before.

- [Freddie] Yes. Like every time I come here,

just, you know, he looks out for me.

- This is so cute.

- So you do online dating a lot then?

- Well, who said this was online dating?

- [Freddie] I just did.

- She just said it.

- Yeah, I was like, "From Tagged."

- Really? I must have missed it.

I didn't hear you say anything.

- It's because you're in that chicken.

- [Thalissa] Yeah, it's good.

- Yeah, that rice is so good.

- You might be right. You might be right.

- So I'm sure you have like some horror stories, you know,

doing online dating.

- Oh, I got horror stories.

- Okay, I know you got horror stories.

- I know you do, but I want to know your horror stories.

- I mean, none that I can, I mean, what you talking about?

- Really? I mean, like, say you're on an online dating site,

and you pretend to be somebody else,

and then do like a little bet or something, like,

have you done that?

- What you doing?

You trying to (indistinct) at my free food.

- I'm not. What are you talking about?

- She plays. She plays too much.

- I was just trying to protect the homie.

- Homie.

- [Rita] Right.

- Have you done that?

- How do y'all know each other again?

- We're homies.

- [Freddie] We're cousins.

- We're friends.

- Cousins.

- Cousins, homies.

- All of the above. Um, D, all of the above.

- Homies that feel like family, because we're so close.

You know people say cuz.

- You know in the black American community they tend

to call each other play cousins.

- Yeah.

- [Rita] You know, because of the shared proximity.

- Exactly. Because of the closeness, you know,

we're like a family. Like a giant tree.

- Tree.

- Like a giant tree.

- Brushing up towards the sky.

- Shout-outs. Beyonce, girls.

- Bey-Bey.

- Yeah.

- And (indistinct).

- Mhmm. All of them.

- All of them.

- Yeah. They're not. I'm just.

(all exclaim)

- There you go.

- Is this free refills?

- No sir.

- [Rita] Not free.

- We don't have to get refills.

(all exclaim)

- You're so nice.

- What a sweetheart.

- So what do you do for work?

- Yeah, what do you do?

- I teach kids.

(both exclaim)

- That is so cute.

- That is adorable.

- That's adorable.

- What do you teach them?

- What an amazing man.

- You're great. You're a great guy.

- I try just teach them, I mean, about life in general.

- So you're like a mentor to the youth.

- You're life coach to kids?

- I try to be.

- That's amazing. I wish I had a life coach

when I was a kid.

I would have done something better in life.

- [Rita] You turned out amazing.

- You're amazing.

- Okay, I guess I am. I do have businesses.

- She's amazing.

- She's amazing.

She has multiple businesses.

- Yes, multiple.

- She's a keeper.

- Here you guys go.

(all exclaim)

- Oh, killing.

- Thank you kindly.

- This is great.

- This is lovely.

- This is amazing. Smells amazing.

- [Rita] Oh, I'm so excited.

- [Freddie] Soak it in, make some room.

- [Rita] Waft. Waft it up.

(all exclaim)

- I love it.

- [Rita] It looks amazing.

- Thank you Lord, for this food today.

- Shouldn't we say a word?

- We should. Should we say grace?

- [Ashton] Forks. Forks.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you.

- Blessed is he, this young black man, that we, you know,

that you brought us.

- Should we hold hands?

- [Rita] Are we not? Are you an atheist?

Oh, you don't believe in God?

- Oh my gosh.

- No, I didn't say that.

- Because the prayer hands on your bicep.

- [Thalissa] Jesus loves you.

- I didn't say Jesus didn't love me. I just said.

- Rub-A-Dub Dub, thanks for the grub, yay God.

- [Thalissa] Thank you God for this food,

we're about to receive it. And thank you for Derek.

- [Freddie] For Derek.

(all exclaim)

- Thank you for D-Rock.

- [Thalissa] And this meal.

- [Freddie] And this meal.

- Amen.

- [Three Women] Amen. Halleluj. Hallelujah. Halleluj.

- Amen.

- Amen.

- Very interesting.

- This is great.

- [Freddie] This is so good.

- [Thalissa] This right here.

- [Freddie] Boss.

- Can I have one of these?

- Take, take. Go for it.

(all exclaim)

- [Thalissa] Orange chicken. I'm just going to get

a little bit of this orange sauce.

- Take it all. Just take it all.

- Let me just eat this.

Just a little bit of these spring rolls.

- You're not sharing them.

- It's actually Egg rolls, just. Egg rolls. Spring rolls.

- Y'all want anything else?

- [Freddie] Yeah. You know what,

let me get that shrimp lo mein to-go. I'm ready for it.

- [Thalissa] It's really good.

- Can I get a to-go box for this actually?

- [Thalissa] Oh, yeah, I need a to-go box too.

- [Ashton] All right.

- And actually, can I get an order of spring rolls to-go?

- [Ashton] You want another order of spring rolls?

- [Freddie] Oh.

- [Thalissa] Oh.

- Yeah. Just, like, for at home.

(all exclaim)

- [Derek] But we're not even finished

with these spring rolls.

(all exclaim)

- [Ashton] So if y'all want I can go ahead

and bring the check as well. If y'all are ready for that.

- I mean, I still got food on my plate.

- Still eating.

- I mean I guess, just please bring the check, yeah, yeah.

- So good. This is so good. Your chicken's good?

- Man, this right here.

- [Rita] How that sweet orange?

- D-Rock, there a lot of wack people out here in LA,

but you are so nice.

- That is so true.

- Your such a nice guy.

- Oh, yes.

- Thank you.

(all exclaim)

- [Ashton] And those boxes you guys wanted.

- [Rita] Appreciate it.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you cuz.

- [Ashton] I'll be right back with the check.

- Thank you sir. Mhmm.

- So nice.

- He didn't get you a to-go box?

- You know what? I just got to run

to the bathroom real quick.

- Can I have your last egg roll?

- Of-course you can. Just you know, y'all, just, you know,

I want to treat y'all like royalty, so y'all do y'all thing.

Eat whatever y'all want and I'm going to be right back.

- [Thalissa] Oh, God.

- Like queens?

- Like queens. Exactly.

- Oh my god.

- [Thalissa] Thank you.

- Exactly.

- I know your mama is obsessed with you.

- She is, like, she.

- I know she be like, "Ah, baby. My baby, Derek,

he (indistinct).

- You sound just like his mama.

- I know I do, I know I sound like everybody's mama.

- [Thalissa] He's a keeper.

- Look at him go. Look, you better get

that boy's Instagram information. Follow him on the Twitter.

(upbeat music plays)

- Hey guys, I don't mean to intrude or be a rush,

but I'm about to be off so could we handle this?

- [Three Women] Oh. Yeah.

- Sorry, again, I don't mean to rush you.

- Yeah, he's just in the restroom, he'll be back.

- [Rita] No worries. Absolutely, no, no, we'll make sure.

- Thank you.

- You're great Ashton.

- Thank you.

- You were such a great host.

- Yeah.

- So cool, what a cool young man.

- So (laughs) I don't think that he's coming back.

- No.

- [Rita] Is he not coming back?

- Don't think so.

- [Rita] Did we just get ditched?

- I think so.

- [Rita] Did he just dine and dash?

- He's an asshole.

- [Rita] That is wack.

- Like, how do you do that? How do you invite all of us?

- Exactly. He was so welcoming.

- Right. He was like, "Oh, Queens, oh Queen,

why don't you sit down and eat? I don't mind.

I'm not ballin' totally but I'm kind of ballin'."

- He sounded just like that.

- All right.

- [Rita] Yeah that's (indistinct).

- Here's what I'm going to do.

- Okay.

- It's time for plan B.

Okay, and not the CBS kind, either, so.

- Wait, I'm sorry, what is plan B?

- I'm going to go. See you at the crib, okay?

You know what it is.

- Wait.

- I know what it is.

- What is plan B? Are you leaving your, whatever this is?

(door opens)

(door shuts)

- Rita, what is plan B?

Look, I only have five dollars, dude.

What is? What?

What? Where did she go? Are you serious right now?

How?

(upbeat music plays)

Oh my god.

- Um, will you be paying with cash or card?

- Oh, you know what? It's going to be credit.

- Credit? Cool.

- Yes.

- So I don't mean to rush, but I got to.

- You got a life. You got a family. Yeah, I got you.

I got it.

- Thank you.

- All right. Thank you.

I don't know how I'm about to pay for this.

Okay.

(wrapper crinkles)

- Thank y'all. Again I'm sorry for rushing you.

You have a great day.

- Yes. Thank you so much. You too. You're amazing.

- Thank you.

- I will definitely be back.

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

(door opens)

(coin drops)

- Uh, excuse me mam, you gave me.

Oh, fuck no. Come on Freddie.

(phone dials)

(end music plays)

- [Announcer] Black and Sexy baby.