All language subtitles for Almost.Famous.2000.Bootleg.Cut.1080p.BluRay.x265.DD+5.1-Pahe.in

You really want to be Atticus Finch.
That makes me feel so good.

4 like him.
-Why?

-Well, he's honest.
-Yes.

-He stands up for the right thing.
-Yes.

-And he's a good father.
-He is.

-Did it all by himself.
-Did what all by himself?

-Raised his kids.
-He didn't raise them by himself.

Excuse me, who was the woman
that came to their house every day?

-Ca|purnia.
-Ca|purnia. He remembered her!

And what about Boo?

-What about Boo?
-Don't you feel bad--

I think Boo Radley is one of
the most interesting characters

in To Kill a Mockingbird.

Excuse me.

I'm a teacher. "Xmas" is not a word
in the English language.

It's either "Merry Christmas�
or �Happy Holidays."

Thank you.

Sure.

Mom, tell me more about Livia.

She killed everybody off so her son
Tiberius could inherit the throne--

Just like Nixon.

It's all pretty common.

The same stories. Shakespeare.

-Like those plays we see at the Old Globe.
-Please, please, please.

-Anita?
-Hey, Mom.

-Want something to eat?
-No, thanks. I already ate.

-Are you sure? I made soy cutlets.
-I'm fine. I already ate.

Wait. You've been kissing.

-No, I haven't.
-Yes, you have.

-No, I haven't.
-Yes, you have. I can tell.

You can't tell.

Not only can I tell,
I know who it is. It's Darryl.

What you got under your coat?

It's unfair that we can't listen
to our music.

It's because it is about
drugs and promiscuous sex.

Simon and Garfunkel is poetry.

Yes, it's poetry. It is the poetry
of drugs and promiscuous sex.

Honey, they're on pot.

First, it was butter.
Then it was sugar and white flour.

Bacon, eggs, bologna,
rock and roll, motorcycles.

Then it was celebrating
Christmas on a day in September

when you knew
it wouldn't be commercialized.

What else are you gonna ban?

Honey, you want
to rebel against knowledge.

I'm trying to give you the CIiffsNotes
on how to live life in this world.

We're like nobody else I know.

I am a college professor.
Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me.

Darryl says that you use knowledge
to keep me down.

He says I'm a "yes" person and you are
trying to raise us in a "no" environment.

Well, clearly, "no" is a word
Darryl doesn't hear much.

I can't live here! I hate you!

-Even William hates you.
-I don't hate her.

You do hate her.
You don't even know the truth.

-Sweetheart, don't be a drama queen.
-Feck you!

-Hey!
-This is a house of lies!

There it is.

Your sister used the "F" word.

I think she said "feck."

-What's the difference?
-The letter "U.�

Are you really in our grade?

Yeah.

Hey, guys. Check it out.

William doesn't have any pubes.

-How old are you, man?
-He's not a man.

He's a little baby kid.

I bet he doesn't even get zits yet.

Everyone has hair. What's wrong with you?

Pip-squeak!
-What's your age, man?

-How old are you?
-You're pathetic!

Where are your pubes?

I had 'em.

I shaved them off.

He's a funny guy!

See you, pubes.

-Hey, noodle.
-Hi, guys.

Put on your seat belt.

-We got our annuals today.
-"Received� your annual.

Right. Received.

I look so much younger than everyone else.

Enjoy it while you can.

Mom, it's time.

-Can this wait till we get home?
-Mom, pull over.

Tell him the truth.
Tell him how old he is.

He knows how old he is.

The other kids make fun of him
because of how young he looks.

Nobody includes him.
They call him �the Narc� behind his back.

-They do?
-What's a narc?

A narcotics officer.

Well, what's wrong with that?

Come on, you guys. It's no big deal.

I'm 12. She skipped me a grade.

Big deal. I'm a year younger.
They're 13, I'm 12.

Aren't I?

I also put you in first grade
when you were five

and I never told you.

So I'm how old?

Don't you realize
that this is gonna scar him forever?

Honey. Sweetheart. Don't be Cleopatra.

We have to be both his mother and his dad.

-You put too much pressure on him.
-How old...

And when he rebels in some strange
and odd way, don't blame me.

...am I?

I skipped you an extra grade.

You're 11.

Eleven?

So you skipped fifth grade.

There's too much padding in the grades.
I taught elementary--

Eleven?

You also skipped kindergarten because
I taught it to you when you were four.

This explains so much.

-You've robbed him of an adolescence.
-Ado|escence is a marketing tool.

Honey, I know you were expecting puberty,

but you're just gonna have to
shine it on for a little while.

Who needs a crowd?

Who put such a high premium
on being typical?

You're unique.

You're two years ahead of everybody.

Take those extra years
and do what you want.

Go to Europe for a year.
Take a look around.

See what you like.

Follow your dream.

You'll still be the youngest lawyer
in the country.

Your dad was so proud of you.

He knew that you were
a predominately accelerated child.

What about me?

You are rebellious
and ungrateful of my love.

Well, somebody's gotta be normal
around here.

Eleven.

This song explains why I'm leaving home
to become a stewardess.

We can't talk?
We have to listen to rock music?

I love you.

Hey, man, take good care of her
in San Francisco, man.

One day, you'll be cool.

Look under your bed.

It'll set you free.

Watch the plant.

You're 18 and I can't stop you.

Bye.

She'll be back.

Maybe not soon.

Hey, William. Hey.

Here's a theory for you to disregard
completely.

Music, you know, true music,
not just rock and roll-- it chooses you.

It lives in your car, or alone,
listening to your headphones

with the vast, scenic bridges
and angelic choirs in your brain.

It's a place apart
from the vast, benign lap of America.

Did you know that "The Letter"
by the Box Tops

was a minute and 58 seconds long?

It means nothing, nil.

But it takes them less than two minutes
to accomplish

what Jethro Tull takes hours
to not accomplish.

You see this? This is fatuous.

Pseudo blubber.

You know... which is fine, but...

to foist it off as art, you know?

Or The Doors, Jim Morrison?

He's a drunken buffoon posing as a poet.

-I like The Doors.
-Give me The Guess Who.

Come on, they got the courage
to be drunken buffoons,

which makes them poetic.

It's quite an honor to have
the world's greatest rock critic

-and editor of Cream magazine...
-Yes. No.

...back home in San Diego for a few days.

Lester Bangs.

Live, "American Woman"?

Have you ever... The most brilliant
piece of gobbledygook ever!

Give me some "White Light/White Heat."

Iggy Pop!

Amen! Put this on.
This isn't on your playlist.

Lester, don't you think
it's a bit early for that?

Not for me.

Okay, well, that was Lester Bangs.

This is Alice Wisdom
and here is Iggy Pop.

So you're the kid who's been sending me
those articles from the school newspaper.

Yeah, yeah.

I've been doing some stuff
for a local underground paper also.

-What are you, the star of your school?
-They hate me.

You'll meet them all again
on their long journey to the middle.

Your writing is damn good.

It's just a shame you missed out
on rock and roll. It's over.

-Over?
-It's over.

You got here just in time
for the death rattle.

Last gasp. Last grope.

-At least I'm here for that.
-What do you type on?

Smith-Corona Galaxis Deluxe.

You like Lou Reed?

The early stuff. In his new stuff,
he's trying to be Bowie.

He should just be himself.

Yeah, but if Bowie's doing Lou,

and if Lou's doing Bowie,

Lou is still doin' Lou.

If you like Lou.

-You take drugs?
-No.

Smart kid.

I used to do speed.

And sometimes a little cough syrup.

I'd stay up all night,
just writing and writing.

I mean, like 25 pages of dribble.

You know, about the Faces, or Coltrane.

You know, just to fucking write.

All right. It's been nice to meet you.

Keep sending me your stuff.

I just can't stand here all day
talking to my many fans.

Yeah, I understand.

Okay.

-Goodbye.
-Yeah.

Bye.

-Bye.
-Bye.

You need a ride?

No, man. I took the bus.

Once you go to LA,
you're gonna have friends like crazy.

But they're gonna be fake friends.
They're gonna try to corrupt you.

You got an honest face.
They're gonna tell you everything.

But you cannot make friends
with the rock stars.

-Is it okay if I?
-If you're gonna be a true journalist,

a rock journalist...

First, you never get paid much.

But you will get free records
from the record company.

There's just fucking nothing about you
that is controversial, man.

God, it's gonna get ugly, man.
They're gonna buy you drinks.

You're gonna meet girls.

They're gonna try to fly you places
for free, offer you drugs.

I know it sounds great,
but these people are not your friends.

These are people who want you to write
sanctimonious stories

about the genius of rock stars.

And they will ruin rock and roll

and strangle everything
we love about it, you know?

'Cause they're trying
to buy respectability

for a form that is gloriously
and righteously dumb.

You're smart enough to know that.

And the day it ceases to be dumb
is the day it ceases to be real, right?

And then it just becomes
an industry of cool.

I'm telling you, you're coming along at
a very dangerous time for rock and roll.

I mean, the war is over.

They won.

And 99% of what passes
for rock and roll these days,

silence is more compelling.

That's why I think you should turn around,
go back and be a lawyer or something.

I can tell from your face that you won't.

I can give you 35 bucks.

Give me 1,000 words on Black Sabbath.

An assignment?

Yeah, yeah.

Hey.

You have to make your reputation
on being honest and...

you know, unmerciful.

Honest.

Unmerciful.

If you get into a jam,
you can call me. I stay up late.

Look at this.
An entire generation of Cinderellas,

and there's no slipper coming.

You just remember,
you wanted to be Abraham Lincoln.

You wanted to be Atticus Finch
in To Ki/lA Mockingbird.

You want to get high? Looking to get high?

All I have to do is listen.
That's what Lester Bangs said.

As long as I know this is a hobby.

I'll pick you up right here
at 11:00 sharp.

If you get lost, use the family whistle.

-Good luck.
-Thanks.

Don't take drugs!

"Don't take drugs!"

Yes, Mother!

Hi, I'm William Miller.

I'm here from Cream magazine
to interview Black Sabbath.

Not on the list.

-Sir, I'm a journalist. Here's a copy--
-You're not on the list.

Go to the top of the ramp
with the other girls.

We won't bite!

What happens after I go
to the top of the ramp?

Who are you with?

Me? I'm with myself.

No. Who are you with? What band?

I'm here to interview Black Sabbath.
I'm a journalist.

I'm not-- not a-- you know.

You're not a what?

You're not a what?

I'm not a...

-groupie.
-"Groupie"?

We are not groupies.

This is Penny Lane, man.
Show some respect.

Groupies sleep with rock stars

'cause they want to be near
someone famous.

We're here because of the music.

-We are Band Aids.
-She used to run a school for Band Aids.

We don't have intercourse with these guys.
We support the music.

We inspire the music.
We're here because of the music.

Marc Bolan broke her heart, man.

It's famous.

It's a long story.

I'm retired now.

Visiting friends.

She was the one who changed everything.

She was the one who said, �No more sex.

No more exploiting our bodies and hearts."

-Right. Right.
-Just blow jobs and that's it.

-It's all happening!
-It's all happening!

It's all happening.

Penny.

-It's all happening. It's all happening.
-Okay.

This is ourjournalist friend.

Journalist friend,
meet Polexia Aphrodisiac.

Estrella Starr.

-And you are...
-Wi||iam Miller.

-Here comes Sabbath!
-Ozzy, Tony, it's us!

It's us!

It's me, Polexia!

I think I saw Sapphire in there.

"Does anybody remember laughter?"

Sapphire!

Come on!

Passes, girls! Come and get them!

-Oh, no, not this one.
-Who brought Opie?

He's with us.

-Don't go anywhere, Opie.
-I'll take care of this if I can.

Come on, boys. Pick it up, will you?

This is outrageous.
We're an hour and a half late.

-We're the last people here.
-I'm coming, I'm coming.

Freddy! Open up!
It's Stillwater! We're on the show!

Hi.

I'm a journalist.
I write for Cream magazine.

Oh, the Enemy. A rock writer.

Right, well, I'd like to interview you
or somebody from your band.

Look. I'm sorry,
but could you please fuck off?

We play for the fans, not the critics.

Freddy!

Russell, Jeff, Ed, Larry.
I really love your band.

I think the song �Fever Dog"
is a big step forward for you guys.

And you guys producing it yourselves
instead of Glyn Johns,

that was the right thing to do.

And, Russell, the guitar sound...

is incendiary.

Incendiary.

Way to go.

-Hey, man! Don't stop there.
-Where you going?

-I'm incendiary too, man.
-I didn't mean "fuck off."

Freddy.

-How you doing, buddy?
-He's with us. Come on this way, bro.

-He's not on your list!
-Here's the list of people who do belong.

-Red Dog!
-Hey, Red Dog!

Hey!

-Playing here tomorrow night, man.
-Yeah?

How you doin', brother?

-Good to see you, man.
-Good to see you too.

That's the AIIman Brothers Band's
number one roadie.

-How are the guys?
-Havin' a ball, man.

Havin' a ball.

Yeah, you know, when we have a party,

We have an AIIman Brothers Band
party, man.

Everybody's boogying.
Everybody's gettin' off.

It's like family, man.

Hey, we got these now.

Check that out.

Yeah, you can taste the color
with your mind, brother.

-Y'all gonna be in Maryland, right?
-Yeah.

All right, all right. Hey,
Dickey and Gregg send you love, buddy.

Yeah.

-Take it easy.
-Take it easy, brother.

Some people have a hard time
explaining rock and roll.

Really explain rock and roll.

Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay.

Rock and roll is a lifestyle
and a way of thinking,

and it's not about money and popularity.

Although, some money would be nice.

But it's a voice that says, "Here I am,

and fuck you if you can't understand me."

And one of these people
is gonna save the world.

That means that rock and roll
can save the world, all of us together.

And the chicks are great. But what
it all comes down to is that thing.

The indefinable thing when people
catch something from your music.

What am I talking about is...

-Wait, what am I talking about?
-The buzz.

The buzz, and the chicks, the whatever,

is an offshoot of the buzz.

Like you saying you liked
"Fever Dog.� That is the fucking buzz!

Found you a pass.

Thanks. I got in with Stillwater.

Oh, Stillwater.

Now you're mysterious.

How old are you?

-Eighteen.
-Me too.

How old are we really?

-Seventeen.
-Me too.

Actually, I'm 16.

Me too.

Isn't it funny?
The truth just sounds different.

I'm 15.

What's your real name?

I'll never tell.

The Enemy!

-Russel|! Hey. Hey.
-Yes.

This is Penny Lane.

Penny Lane, Russell Hammond.

Pleasure.

-Penny Lane, like the song.
-Have we met?

Oh, come here, man.
I wanna tell you something.

It's not what you put into it.

It's what you leave out.

Listen to Marvin Gaye.

A song like "What's Happening Brother."

There's a single "whoo" at the end
of the second verse.

You know that �whoo,� that single "whoo"?

I know that "whoo," yeah.

Yeah, that's what you remember, man.

It's the little things, the silly things.
The mistakes.

There's only one of them,
and it makes the song.

It's what you leave out,
yeah, that's rock and roll.

It's what you leave out.

You're supposed to be the Enemy.
What are you, 18?

-Yes.
-There you go.

Still young enough to be honest.

Bring the lights down.

Hey, get the Enemy in here.

-San Diego!
-Ready, baby?

Hell yeah!

Good evening, San Diego!

Stand right over there.

Would you please welcome,
from Troy, Michigan...

Sti I Iwater!

No.

Thank you.

Hey, you...

You want to come to LA?

We'll be at the Riot House all week.

-Riot House?
-Yeah.

The Continental Hyatt House.

It's on Sunset Strip.

Oh, yeah, right. Sunset Strip. Yeah.

Well, tell your friend,

Miss Penny Lane, to call me.

Tell her it ain't California without her.
We want her around, like last summer.

Say it just like that.

-Got it. Got it.
-I'm under "Harry Houdini."

I get it.

-Come on, let's blow this spot!
-The Enemy.

Come up to LA. We'll talk some more.

Bye.

-Bye, Opie.
-See you later, Jeff, Polexia, Dick.

Scully, Ed. See you, Mick, Gregg.
Yeah, later, guys.

Bye, Opie.

Bye.

Hey, Red Dog. I'll see you later, man.

The Wheel. Frosty.

Ainsworth, I'll see you around, man.

-Penny!
-Hey, be cool.

Penny, you just missed Russell.

He said he's at the Riot House all week
and for you to call him.

He's under the name Harry Houdini.

-You know about the Riot House, right?
-I think I've heard of it.

Right, well, he had a message.
He said, "Tell her,

'It's not California without you.
We want you around like last summer.�

No! He said, "Tell her,
'It ain't California without you--"'

-I get the gist.
-Right.

So how well do you guys know each other?

Call me if you need a rescue.
We live in the same city.

I think I live in a different world.

Speaking of the world...

I've made a decision.

I'm gonna live in Morocco for one year.

I need a new crowd.

Do you want to come?

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah.

-You sure?
-Ask me again.

Do you want to come?

Yes, yes.

-You've gotta call me.
-Okay.

It's all happening.

It's all happening. It's all happening.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah. Great.

And it's not about money and popularity.

And the chicks are great, right?

Hey, Darryl.

Hey.

So, your sister's a stewardess now.

Yeah. Yeah.

She and Mom are still sort of...

Well, I'd say not speaking,
but I don't know that they ever did.

The things your sister and I
used to do inside these four walls.

That's okay. That's okay.
I don't wanna know.

It is my room now.

We flew the friendly skies.

Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.

You seem cooler.

I am thinking about going to Morocco.

Let me know if you need
a little help with your mom.

Little may not be enough.

Yeah, she still freaks me out.

-Yeah.
-She's famous.

Listen, I...

Go ahead and do whatever you were doin'.

I'm just gonna hang in here for a moment.

Okay.

I worry about drunk drivers.

Mom, I'm 15.

Right?

-Yes. You're 15.
-Right.

And here's that money I owe you.

Your father's favorite joke.
I don't do it as well.

No, I thought that was pretty good.

Keep the small bills on the outside.
Call me if anyone gets drunk.

I will call you if anyone,
anywhere, gets drunk.

Good.

-And don't take drugs.
-Very funny.

See? Sense of humor.

Funny joke. Have fun at the dance.
I'm glad you're making friends.

-Mom, stay.
-Okay.

Love you.

Bye.

I always tell the girls,
"Never take it seriously.

If you never take it seriously,
you never get hurt.

If you never get hurt,
you always have fun.

And if you ever get lonely,

you just go to the record store
and visit your friends."

-So you and Russell--
-No!

Russell has a girlfriend,
and I can't even say her name.

It's all happening.
I'm about to use you as protection.

These guys are with Alice Cooper.
I'm gonna pretend like I don't know them.

Penny Lane! Does Alice know you're here?

I'm just showing my very dear, very
wonderful friend William Miller around.

He's a very important writer.
He knows Lester Bangs.

And I'm responsible for his moral conduct
while he's abroad.

Penny Lane!

God's gift to rock and roll.

I'm retired, and don't argue with me!

Retired? Again?
-Penny!

Oh, it's Reg.
That's Humble Pie's road manager.

-Hi!
-Penny, come to Portland with us, love.

-Have we met?
-Have we met!

I've made a decision.

I'm going traveling to India.

And then I'm going to learn
to play the violin.

And then I'm going to college,
for one year.

There's nothing they can teach you
in college, darling.

Right on. Call Alice.
He's staying under the name Bob Hope.

I heard you're with Russell Hammond.

Please, I throw the little ones back.

I lost my head!

Martin Bell's a fucking asshole!

And I'm in love with Jeff Bebe.

Polexia.

Owe?

-Are you okay?
-Harry Houdini, please.

Houdi-- Harry Houdini!

-It was Sable.
-I know. Sable, Sable.

-We had this really great night.
-Houdini.

He said it was going to mean something,
and I'm in love with Jeff!

-I mean...
-Jeff?

I saw them on the 7th floor.

Mr. Jimmy Page, Mr. John Paul Jones,
Mr. Robert Plant.

Mr. Robert Plant signed
my T-shirt five minutes ago.

Dude, please don't smear it.

Five minutes ago, he touched this pen.
He touched this pen.

-Vic is a Zeppelin fan.
-Right, I picked that up.

He tours with them,
but not, you know, "with" them.

Yeah, they're on the 12th floor now.

There's no bigger Zeppelin fan than Vic.

Very dear, very close friend
of Lester Bangs.

William Miller.

Hey. You're that comedian.

-Leonard.
-Blow me!

Come on.

Okay, time to put on the lampshade.

Ladies and gentlemen!

At this time, please extinguish
all smoking materials,

for the captain has turned on
the "No Smoking� sign.

Your seats and tray tables
should be locked

and in their full upright position.

The hell With it.

-Play on.
-Miss Penny Lane.

Thank you. Thank you.

Act One, in which she pretends
she doesn't care about him.

Act Two, in which he pretends
he doesn't care about her,

but he goes right for her.

Act Three, in which it all plays out
the way she planned it.

She'll eat him alive.

We've gotta stop them.

Stop them?

You were her excuse for coming here.

Ineedice.

Hey, man.

I'm just worried about people using her.

'Cause she brings out the good side
in everybody else,

but what do they do for her?

Life kills me.

Do you have any pot?

No. Not on me.

Do you smoke?

No.

But I grow it.

Yeah, I... grow it.

You're funny.

You're funny.

If you were only taller, English and rich

and a guitar player and older.

I'd be somebody else.

Yeah. Good point.

The Enemy.

I'm always around
if you wanna talk some more.

-Okay.
-All right.

Bless me, Father, for I may sin tonight.

How does it end?

What?

The story about the girl who dumps the guy

who has the ex-ex-wife.

Calls her a hundred-- okay, five times--

And doesn't even leave a pass
in San Diego.

Wake up.

I'm retired.

I never believed you anyway.

You're too good-looking and too talented
to be trusted, and everybody knows that.

You're retired
like Frank Sinatra is retired.

Miss Penny Lane, let me tell you
what rock and roll will miss...

the day that you truly retire.

The way that you turn a hotel room
into a home.

They way that you pick up strays
wherever you go.

The way that you know the words
to every song.

Every song, especially the bad ones.

Mostly the bad ones.

That green coat in the middle of summer.

The real name that you won't reveal.

I could keep going, but my glass is full.

Damn.

Come to Arizona?

Never.

We leave Thursday morning, 9:00 am.
And pack light this time. Jesus.

-He//0?
-Wi||iam Miller?

-7'h/s is he.
-Wi||iam, this is Ben Pong-Torres.

I'm the music editor
at Rolling Stone magazine.

We got a couple copies of your stories
from the San Diego Door.

-Is this the same William Miller?
-Yes, it is.

"Voice of God," "Howling Dogs,"
"The Spirit of Rock and Roll."

-This is good, solid stuff, man.
-7'hanks.

Thanks. Thanks.

Listen, I think you should be
writing for us. Any ideas?

-How about Stillwater?
-Sti||water?

"Hardworking band makes good."
New album out, their third.

Starting to do something. Crazy.

Let's do 3,000 words.
You'll join the band on the road.

We'll set up billing.
Don't let the band pay for anything.

We can only pay, let me see,
3,000 words...

$700.

All right, a grand.

What's your background, William?
Are you a journalism major?

-Yea h .
- What college ?

Honey, I need you to do that thing
that fixes the garbage disposal.

Well, I certainly know how my lady gets
when you don't snap to it.

-Crazy.
-Crazy.

-Crazy.
-Crazy.

Stillwater?

Beware, beware of Rolling Stone magazine

because they will change your story,

they'll rewrite it, you know,
turn it into swill.

Besides that, what would be wrong with it?

You got starry eyes, my friend.

Look, do the story.

Who cares, you know?
It'll be good for you.

Remember this:

Don't do it to make friends with people

who are trying to use you
to further the big-business desire

to glorify worthless rock stars
like Stillwater.

Don't let those
swill merchants rewrite you.

-"Swi|| merchants." That's good.
- Yeah, swi/I merchant's.

-What are you listening to?
-Sti||water.

Stillwater? Fucking kid's doing drugs.

No, no, no, no, no...

No more than four days and I want you
to give me a phone number

where you are every minute.

I want you to call me twice a day,
and you do not miss more than one test!

And no drugs.

This is a big mistake.

Good comic timing.

Come on, Doris, you darling bus.
You can make it.

-This is what I was talking about.
-Russel|, excuse me.

I was wondering if maybe
we could find some time to talk

when we get to Phoenix.

I want to interview everybody separately,

and I felt we'd start
with just you and me.

Absolutely.

Because I've got a thing in a couple days.

What?

It's a thing

where you go there to graduate.

School.

I never graduated, and look what happened.

You're here interviewing me.

No, no, no, no.

Don't put that in Rolling Stone, man.

Our bio says that we all graduated.
Him, with honors.

We'll figure out something better later,
okay?

Just enjoy the ride.

-Keep playing that song.
-All right, man.

I may need to stay in your room tonight.
Russell's in a bad mood.

He's very Bob Dylan in Don'z'Look Back
today.

He's trying to write.

Yeah. Sure.

-Yeah?
-Sure.

You okay?

Yeah.

-My phone. I'll call you later.
-The key, the key.

Here's your room key.

Larry, bags in ten.

Hey, come by in a few minutes.
We'll do that interview.

-All right?
-Sure.

Is this Mr. Miller?

Yeah.

You have a message from Elaine.

Your mother.

She's a handful.

-I know.
-She freaked me out.

Tell her to stop.

I'm worried, man.

No, you can trust him. He's a fan.

But it's Rolling Stone.

He looks harmless, but he does represent
the magazine that trashed �Layla,"

broke up Cream, ripped every album
Led Zeppelin ever made.

Don't forget the rules, man.
This little shit is the Enemy.

He writes what he sees.

If I don't get into a room
and take a Valium...

Although it would be cool
to be on the cover.

You're gonna get me in trouble.

You're so trying to get me
into so much trouble.

Oh, my God.

Simon Kirke from Bad Company
is by the pool.

Housekeeping.

Housekeeping.

Go away!

Should I come by later?

Yes. I'm in too truthful a mood!

-Maybe that's a good thing.
-Go away!

You okay?

Yeah.

Go away!

Don't worry. Come to
the radio interview tonight. Okay?

-Go away!
-Okay.

-Bye.
-You're so rude.

The guitar and songwriting
of Russell Hammond.

The vocal stylings of Jeff Bebay.
Babee. Jeff Babee.

Bebay.

Uh, Bebe.

Bebe.

"Fever Dog.�

The band is Stillwater.

Watch with your mind as they materialize.

Look at the dogs wearing the funny hats,
juggling just for you freaks and family.

It's Quince with Stillwater

here, live.

It's The Night Circus.

Every minute, a baby is born somewhere.

Life. Death.

Hermetically sealed bags of human emotion.

Bags of love.

Bags of kindness.

How'd you all get together?

Well, not to get into a me thing,

but I did start the band
sometime, actually, ago,

when I placed an ad in a magazine
called Peaches.

And Russell Hammond answered.

Peaches.

I think it was a gift from God, actually.
Nobody plays like Russell Hammond.

Aw, shit, man. Thank you.

Oh, right.

Might want to hit that delay button there,
Quincy.

Quince?

Now we're talkin', right?

Right?

Why the fuck do you have to wait
fill an interview in Arizona

to say something nice about me, man?

Why don't you say it
to my fuckin' face sometimes?

'Cause I tell you every time
I think you nail something.

Everybody pays you compliments.

It's not my fucking job
to kiss your fucking ass.

Seriously, then whose fucking job is it?

Because my ass is dying for a kiss, man.

And I know yours is too.

It's my fucking job,
and I think you're all geniuses.

I'd like to say to the folks out there,
I'd like to leave you this thought:

smegma.

Nice.

Fellas?

Feces.

The name of the song is "Love Thing.�

Your mind is starting to take effect.

We've all come to watch you swallow fire.

You scream, soundlessly,

on The Night Circus.

I thought that went well.

-Yeah.
-Yeah. Absolutely.

-May I speak with William, please?
-He is still do wn in the bar with the band.

They're back from the radio station.
Is this Maryann with the pot?

Hello?

No. This is not Maryann with the pot.

This is Elaine, his mother.

Could you give William a message
for me, please?

Tell him to call home immediately.
And also tell him...

I know what's going on.

All right. Okay. But I'm just gonna
say this, and I'm gonna stand by it:

You should be really proud of him.

Because I know men,
and I'll bet you do too.

And he respects women, and he likes women.

And let's just pause
and appreciate a man like that.

You created him out of thin air.
You raised him right.

He's having a great time.
He's doing a good job.

And don't worry, he's still a virgin,
and we're all looking out for him.

You know? That's more than
I've ever even said to my own parents.

So there you go.

This is a maid speaking, by the way.

-Can you please hold it down?
-Sorry, ma'am!

Russell. 80, what is it
you love about music?

Shut that thing off for a second,
man. I'll tell you the truth, all right?

Look. Fuck it, I trust you,
so I'm just gonna lay this right on you.

Just make us look cool.

I will quote you warmly and accurately.

Well, that's what I'm worried about.

You see, some of us, we got girlfriends
back home, you know?

Some of us have wives.

And some of the people
that you meet on the road

are really amazing people.

Like you.

Yeah. But some of the stuff that happens,
it's good for a few people to know about,

as opposed to, say...

a million people.

-Understand what I'm trying to say?
-Yeah.

You see, you're dangerous.

You see everything.

Most people, they're just waiting to talk.

But you listen.

See, I grew up with these guys,
but I can't play all that I can play.

I'm past them, as musicians,

but the more popular we get,
the bigger their houses get,

the more responsibilities, the pressure.

The harder it gets
for me to walk out on them.

Then you forget.

You forget what it's like to be a fan.

You hear it in bands all the time.
It doesn't sound like music anymore.

It sounds like... lifestyle maintenance
or something.

Lifestyle maintenance. That's...

I used to be able to hear...

the sounds of the world.

Everything.

To me, it sounded like music.

And now I don't hear it,
you know, anymore.

You know?

Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Yeah. Yeah.

Come here!

What am I doing?

I am telling secrets to the one guy
you don't tell secrets to.

No. No. We'll...

We'll do the interview tomorrow.

-Okay.
-Okay.

So tonight it's...

Well, friends.

-Yeah, right.
-We trust you.

Larry Fellows,

how would you describe
your role in Stillwater?

What is the chemical you add
to the chemistry?

I'm the bass player.

Right.

And when you take that away,

what would be missing stylistically?

What chemical?

The bass?

Okay.

-Hey, hey, what's going on?
-Russel| just got electrocuted!

Okay. Everybody be cool. All right.

Come on! Let's get on the bus!
Let's go! Let's go!

Who's taking care of us?
Who's responsible for the gear?

I'll deal with it. Get on the bus, please.

-Come on! Let's go!
-Hey, cowboy.

-Hey, you the manager of this band?
-Yes. That and more.

Yeah, well, you didn't
finish your full set, man.

Listen, pal. Your shoddy stage setup
almost killed my guitarist!

Well, you trashed my fucking dressing room
and you didn't do your 25 minutes!

-Don't fuck with my band's safety ever!
-Well, fuck you, man!

I'm gonna report you
to every promoter in this country!

I'm gonna talk to Frank Barsalona tonight!

-You don't even know Frank Barsalona!
-You're all a bunch of amateurs, man!

-Come on! Come on!
-You wanna--

What do you got? What do you got?

Just fuckin' go home!

Watch the shirt, fuck!

-Now I'm gonna kick your ass.
-Take it easy!

Take it easy, man.

All I know is I hope
you got a good lawyer, buddy.

Hey, you better make a live album
'cause this is your last fucking tour.

What? What? What is that?
What are you, Bruce Lee?

Come on!

Take it easy.

Lock the gates!

Just go through the fucking gate.

This is your last fucking tour, man!

Lock the gates on these fuckheads!

-Where's my goddamn cart?
-Wi||iam?

William!

William! William!

I forgot to tell you. Your mom called.

She says you gotta call home immediately.

And she says to tell you,
"I know what's going on."

So I'll see you guys in Topeka, okay?

Amateurs! You don't know
who you're dealing with here!

Lock the gates!

-You want to buy a gate?
-Yeah!

You just bought a gate!

Hey. Give that to me, William.

Give me that!

Russell, wake up.

Wake the fuck up, man.
It's the girls' running team.

Goddamn!

Let it go, fellas. Let it go, buddy.

Dick, when are we getting to Topeka, man?

-Larry, you're a sick individual.
-Wake up, man.

Look at all these fucking tasty-looking
high school girls.

We can't stop the bus
every time you see a girl in shorts.

Hey, when we go to Morocco,

I think we should wear
completely different clothes

and be completely different people.

What will our names be?

What do you think of Russell?

I like him.

But that's between us.
Because I am a professional.

You should give him a break.

There are real problems in the band,
off the record.

What problems?

Okay, I got it.

Your name should be Spencer,
and mine will be Jane.

I can't keep up with you.

Oh, no one can.

You're coming to Cleveland, right?

Cleveland, Ohio?

Oh, no, no, no.

I have to get my interview
with Russell before Greenville.

And you've got to help me, okay?

Here's the thing about Russell.

He's my last project.

I only do this for a very few people,
and I think we should do it together.

Because all the guys are good,
but he could be great.

What's your real name?

All right, let's go.

Oh, it's okay.

I'm easy to forget. Just leave me behind!

I'm only the fucking lead singer!

Hey!

80, Ed Vallencourt,

what do you love about music?

Okay. Okay.

You told me you would tell me
where you were every minute.

I know!

-You told me you'd call me twice a day.
-I know.

-You told me you wouldn't miss one test.
-I'll be home for graduation.

-Mom--
-Where are you?

Right now, Topeka,
then Greenville, then home.

What about graduation?
We had an agreement, William.

I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday.

I just miss you. I don't understand why
I've driven my kids so far away from me.

By all practical rules,
don't I get you for another three years?

Was I not fun?

-Yes.
-William!

This is Beth from Denver.

She's one of the legendary
original Band Aids.

-She's clairvoyant!
-I can't read your mind or anything.

I mean, I pick up things here and there.

Estrella says hi.
She says I can stay in your room.

Sure.

Great! I've got some hydroponic pot!

Wow, your aura is really fantastic!

-It's this beautiful purple color.
-/ love you.

I missed the last thing you said.

- Your aura is purple!
-I love you.

-What?
-Purple! It's purple!

-Mom, what?
-Your aura is purple!

I miss you and I love you!

I love you.

That way you don't get creases.
You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

All right,
so this has to be straight here.

All right.

Fire away. I'm ready.

Do you have to be depressed
to write a sad song?

Do you have to be in love
to write a love song?

Is a song better
if it really happened to you?

Like "Love Thing." Where did you
write that? And who is it about?

When did you get so professional?

Gentlemen,
your first T-shirts have arrived.

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

Yes!

It's the record company's mistake,
and they will pay.

T-shirts are gone, band happy. All right?

Can we just skip the vibe
and go straight to us laughing about this?

Yeah, okay.

Because I can see by your face
you want to get into it.

How can you tell?
I'm just one of the out-of-focus guys.

Here. Take it.

Let's take a good look at it, all right?

See, you love this T-shirt.

It lets you say
everything you want to say.

Well, it speaks pretty loudly to me.

It's a T-shirt.

Do you give a shit about a T-shirt?

I'm just hungry. Let's just go
find some barbecue or something.

I'm always gonna tell you the truth.

Are you doing coke again?

Oh, yeah. All the time.

This is big stuff, man.

From the very beginning,
we said I'm the front man

and you're the guitarist with mystique.

That's the dynamic we agreed on.

Page, Plant. Mick, Keith.

Blackmore, Gillan.

But somehow it's all turning around.

We have got to control what's happening!

-There's a responsibility here.
-Excuse me.

Didn't we all get into this
to avoid responsibility?

I can't say any more with the writer here.

No, no, no.

You can trust him. Say what you want.

He won't write it.

Look, I work as hard, or harder,
than anybody on that stage.

You know what I do? I connect.

I get people off!

I look for the one guy
who isn't getting off

and I make him get off.

Actually, that you can print!

And yet, why do I always end up
feeling like I'm a joke to you?

You want to pretend this isn't gonna be
a very big band? Well, it is!

You call yourself a leader of this band,
but your direction allowed this T-shirt

when you allowed Dick to manage us.

'Cause he's your friend!

Don't you see, man?
The T-shirt is everything.

Is it my turn now? I think we should,
for once, say what we really mean.

-This is the part where you quit!
-Right, I'm so predictable.

Deal with it.

-Let me say what nobody else wants to.
-What?

Your looks have become a problem!

All right, okay, enough. Break it up.
Everyone out of the room for five minutes.

Hey!

Yeah. William. Sorry.

Come on, man. Come on. Come on.

Let's go find something real.

From here on out,
I'm only interested in what is real.

Real people, real feelings.

That's all I'm interested in
from here on out.

You're real.

-Thanks.
-You know,

you know all about us,
and I don't know shit about you.

Tell me, what's your family like?

My dad died of a heart attack.

And my sister believes
that my mom is so intense

that she had to escape our family.

And they can't seem to find a way
to get through it.

They don't even
speak to each other anymore.

Plus, she gave me all her albums,
and now she's a stewardess.

It's good to talk about.

Really good. But here I am telling secrets

to the one guy you're not supposed
to tell your secrets to.

You're Russell from Stillwater.

Well, yeah, on my better days,
I am Russell from Stillwater.

Hey, want to go to a party with me
at my friend Aaron's house?

I know you're a big rock star and all,

but do you want to hang with some
good people looking to have a good time?

We're just real Topeka people, man.

No.

-Thanks, man.
-You too.

Oh, my God. Holy shit. Fuck!

I grew up with that lampshade, man!

I love this kitchen.
I fucking love this kitchen!

That's William over there. Hey, William!

You, Aaron, are what it's all about.

You're real.

Your room is real.

Your friends are real.

Real, man, real. You know? Real.

Real, you know?

You're more important
than all the silly machinery.

Silly machinery. And you know it!

In 11 years, it's gonna be 1984, man.
Think about that.

Want to see me feed a mouse to my snake?

Yes.

Hey, can I have that bitchin' belt?

Take it.

Thanks, man.

Thank you, brother.

Russell, we should probably get back
with the others.

It's over, Daddy.

Hey, there's acid in the beer
that's in the red cups.

That's mine.

Topeka. Check it out.

Please, don't give him any more acid.
Thank you.

Dick? Dick, I got him.

He's okay.

He is on acid, though.

I can't really tell.

How do you know when it's kicked in?

I am a golden god!

Yes, you are!

I am a golden god!

Hey, Russell.

Don'tjump.

And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine
that my last words...

were...

"I'm on drugs."

Russell, I think we should work
on those last words!

Okay, I got it. I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it. This is better.

Last words...

"I dig music."

Yeah.

"I'm on drugs!"

Just come on down
and we'll go back to the hotel.

Okay.

-Jump.
-Jump!

-He's not coming up.
-Something's wrong.

Somebody help him.

I'll save you, Russell!

They've been crying for you
like a bunch of whimpering pussies.

The band is over.

-This is my family now.
-That's right.

-Right.
-Definitely. It's over.

-He's staying with us.
-Let's just ride on down to Greenville.

We'll listen to some great music,
we'll finish the tour

and then we'll leave
those ungrateful fools behind.

Then we'll come back here,
where you'll live.

-That sounds good.
-He can stay in our basement.

-I see what you're doing, and I like it.
-Okay, good.

Come on.

I got it, man. I got it.

That felt kind of good, though.

Excuse me, kids.

Look at him.
He's taking notes with his eyes.

How do we know you're not a cop, huh?

The Enemy? Stop fucking looking at me!

He's your guardian angel, all right?

Don't worry.
He only means half of what he says.

Which half?

Dick, just help me get my interview.

-I have to go home, Dick.
-Okay, okay.

-Dick, I have to go home.
-Look.

You saved the tour.
That's good enough for now, all right?

-Come on, big fella, let's go.
-I hurt the flower.

Did you, man? You hurt the flower?
That's nice. Come on, on the bus.

Ladies and gentlemen, the evening is over!

We hope you all enjoyed yourselves,
and we'll see you all again in 1974.

Good evening!

I have to go home.

You are home.

In Carl Jung's opinion,
we all have a sixth sense, intuition.

When you meet someone and you
feel like you can't live without them,

this could be the memory of a past love
from the collective unconscious.

Or it could just be hormones.

I'm sorry, I can't concentrate.

Rock stars have kidnapped my son.

On the whole, I'd say most
of the fuck-ups in the world

come from the brain and not the instincts.

My whole thing is to try and make my...

My whole thing is to try and make
my brain go away.

But I can't, except on stage.

The brain, I think, should be
a softening influence on the instincts,

but the instincts should drive.

Trying to reconcile the brain with urges
that come out of millions of years ago,

the way the brain interprets
these instincts is... a heavy trip.

Vallencourt, are you getting
on the fucking bus or what?

Come on, come on.
Let's get on the fucking bus.

Usually, I'm brain,

and Russell is instincts.

But on the days when we're both instinct,

thatis When we've made the music
people know the best.

Because it's the best.

Show me any guy who ever said
he didn't wanna be popular,

and I'll show you a scared guy.

I've studied the entire history of music.

Most of the time the best stuff
is the popular stuff.

It's much safer to say popularity sucks

because that allows you
to forgive yourself if you suck.

And I don't forgive myself.

Do you?

Lester, Rolling Stone is calling me.
I don't have my key interview.

I don't know what to say.
Days are just going by out here.

You're flipping out. It's good. All right.

This is how you blow their minds.
He's gonna ask you--

- This is Ben Fong- Torres, fight?
-Yeah, yeah.

He's gonna ask you how the story's going,
and this is what you do.

Tell him...

you know, it's... it's a think piece...

"Think piece."

...about a mid-level band

struggling with their own limitations
in, you know,

the harsh face of stardom.

"Harsh face."

Yeah, he'll wet himself.

All dressed up and no place to go.

Greenville.

I'm bored.

Party in his bedroom.

Who hid the Quaaludes from me?

I have to pee.

Wow, they're cute.

Let's deflower the kid.

Wow, they're cute.

Hold on, hold on.

Wait. I should leave.

I think things are going backwards for me.

Backwards?
-Well, I don't know. I just--

I thought maybe we could hang out.

You know, do some stuff back home,
like regular stuff.

Get to know each other a little bit
better, and then I'd see you pee.

I mean, you know,
that's just the way I usually do it.

You're one of us.

If you come to Cleveland,

Bowie is gonna be at Swingos,
the greatest hotel in America.

And I'll introduce you to him
and his security guard, Dennis.

Don't you have any regular friends?

Famous people are just more interesting.

Well, I would be worried
that they were using me.

Boy, if this was the real world
and someone talked to me like that.

Not that anybody's using you!
No. Hold on.

I'm not famous. But--

-Your time has come.
-Did Russell call?

-Deflower.
-Opie must die.

-No. No.
-Pants him, girls.

Stop. We're talking.

Opie must die.

-No. Okay, this isn't funny.
-No, come on!

-Up!
Please.

Guys, come on. I have to write.

No.

No.

Baby, yeah.

Come on, Penny. Join us.

Take a vacation from yourself
Leave this up to professionals.

Don't worry, William.

I've seen the future,
and this all works out reasonably well.

"Reasonably"?

Hello?

Hello. This is Ben Pong-Torres
calling from Rolling Stone.

Hi, Ben Pong-Torres from Rolling Stone.

Hello, hello.

Such a sexy voice.

Hello, Ben.

Will/am /|///7/er, this is your editor
at Rolling Stone. How's the stay?

I'm getting good stuff out here.

Yeah, it sounds like it.

Man, I need some--

Now, listen. Get it together, man.

We're both professionals here, okay?
I don't need to tell you this.

You're not out there to join the party.
We already have one Hunter Thompson.

You're out there to interview
and to report. You got me?

Now, this isn't Cream magazine.
This is Rolling Stone.

We need this story in four days.
Now, I want to know how it's shaping up.

It's a think-piece about a mid-level band

struggling with their own limitations
in the harsh face of stardom.

That's great.

I like what we're saying. Let me try
and get you 1,000 more words.

Now, it's in consideration for the cover,
but don't tell the band.

The cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

Crazy.

Crazy.

...some coffee.

Me too.

Greenville is so boring.

You know, any other city in the world,
and you'd still be a virgin.

-Oh, God. Oh, God.
-What?

I've never written anything more
than a few pages in my whole life.

-Don't worry, baby, you will.
-I gotta find Russell.

-I gotta find Russell.
-Will you take the laundry?

Take the laundry?

What am I to you? Tell me.

Tell me right now.

What am I to you?

Excuse me, sir,
would you mind signing for this?

Good morning.

Please go the fuck away!

Hey, man,
we'll do the interview in Cleveland.

No. No, no.

I can't go to Cleveland.

Come on, man. We'll have more time there.

Don't be tense.

Come to Cleveland.

-Come to Cleveland.
-Come to Cleveland.

-Come to Cleveland.
-Come to Cleveland.

I can't go to Cleveland.

Hey, can we help it
if we like having you around?

-Come to Cleveland.
-Come to Cleveland.

Come to...

Look, I don't want to go to Cleveland,
okay?

I want to go home.

That's good, man. I like it when you yell.

But I'm not gonna let you miss out
on the rock mecca of the Midwest.

Rock mecca.

You're with us.

Rock and roll?

-Rock...
-...and roll.

It's all--

I know. I know.

It's all happening.

-Hey, how you doing?
-Hi.

Oh, my God! It's Stillwater! Oh, my God!

Hi, welcome to Swingos Celebrity Inn.
You must be Stillwater.

"Memory of a Free Festival,�
"Wild Eyes Boy from Freecloud."

I mean, that's vintage Bowie, you know?

And the new stuff, I mean, Ziggy Stardust
is good, but it's mass media, you know?

It's hamburgers for the apocalypse.

It's Bowie!

Bowie! Bowie!

Good. All right. That's doubles.

Jeff and Russell
are the figureheads of the band,

but I think the true Stillwater fan,
your absolute Stillwater fan,

knows the purity, the essence,
the core of Stillwater's music

comes from silent Ed Vallencourt.

Hi, Mom.
I'm gonna fly back Monday morning.

No, no, no, I'll only miss one test.
I'll be back for graduation.

Tell her you're a slave to the groove.
You can't help it.

No, Russell. No.
Russell. Russell. Russell.

Hey, Mom, it's Russell Hammond.
I play guitar in Stillwater.

How does it feel to be the mother
of the greatest rock journalist we've met?

Hello?

Hello?

Look, you got a great kid here.
There's nothing to worry about.

We're taking good care of him.

You should come to the show sometime
and join the circus.

Listen to me, mister.

Your charm doesn't work on me.
I'm onto you.

Of course you like him.

Well, yeah.

He worships you people. That's fine
by you as long as he helps make you rich.

-Rich? I don't think so. We sit--
-L/sz'en to me.

He's a smart, good-hearted 15-year-old kid

with infinite potential.

This is 1701' some apron- wearing mother
you're speaking to.

I know all about your Valhalla
of decadence. I shouldn't have let him go.

He's not ready for your world
of compromised values

and diminished brain cells
that you throw away like confetti.

Am I speaking to you clearly?

Yes, ma'am.

If you break his spirit,
harm him in any way,

keep him from his chosen profession,

which is law, something you
may not value but I do,

you will meet the voice on the other end
of this phone and it will not be pretty.

Do we understand each other?

Yes, ma'am.

I didn't ask for this role,
but I'll play it.

Now go do your best.

"Be bold, and mighty forces
will come to your aid."

Goethe said that.

It's not too late for you to become
a person of substance, Russell.

Please get my son home safely.

You know, I'm glad we spoke.

-All right, boys.
-All right.

Your mom kind of freaked me out.

She means well.

From Troy, Michigan,

would you please welcome to Cleveland...

Sti I Iwater!

Russell!

I love you!

Yeah!

80, Russell, when you play a great show
like tonight--

Okay, I need everyone's attention, please.

Girls, I need five minutes
with the band alone.

Right. Well, it seems the rumors are true.

The record company has sent
a big-time manager here

to try and talk you into replacing me.

His name is Dennis Hope.
I know you've all heard of him.

He's got all the big bands.

He's outside right now
and he wants five minutes with you.

And, well, I think we've gotta do this.

-Send him in.
-Bring him in.

-We'll send him out on a rail!
-All right.

We'll finish the interview in Maryland.
You can fly home from Maryland.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Hi.

We've got a manager.
He's been with us from the beginning.

Respectfully. We all have our roots.

I believe in bands
holding on to their roots.

Those roots need to be augmented.

I'm gonna tell you the truth.
I may enrage some...

and enthrall others.

I don't really give a fuck.

Your manager here needs a manager.

Example: If you hadn't run out
on your contract in Phoenix,

we could have sued over Russell's hand.

But you left, negating the contract,
forfeiting the deposit.

You effectively traveled a long way to pay
that promoter to electrocute you.

Your damages have put you
way in the hole for this tour.

Right now, you owe the record company
more than you got.

But your record's selling.
There's money to be made.

So I brought a plane in.

We could add more shows
to make up the difference, respectfully.

We travel by bus.

Doris is the soul of this band.

That bus has been our home
since we were the Jeff Bebe Band. No way.

Hey, man, I'd travel on a pogo stick
if I thought we could make more money.

-You could play more dates with a plane.
-Well, it's not about money.

It's about playing music
and turning people on.

Clearly. Respectfully.

But on the distasteful subject of money,

just know that you're all making it
right now,

and it's all out there.

I'm just talking
about bringing it back here.

Why should we pay you
for something we can do ourselves?

You know how to keep from getting charged

for the ice below the floorboards
at Chicago Stadium?

Do you know how to do a headlining tour?

Do you know Claire Rothman
at the LA Forum?

Do you know Bobbi Cowan,
Danny Marcus, Lisa Robinson?

Do you know Frank Barsalona?

This is Cleveland!
Where's Kid Leo? Where is he?

Do you know how to get a record
not pressed, but played?

I didn't invent the rainy day, man.

I just own the best umbrella.

And as much as you may believe
that this is gonna last forever,

it does not.

Your biggest fan right now,
your biggest fan,

soon they're gonna wanna go to college,
gonna wanna buy some clothes,

spend their money some other way.

And you know what?

They'll tape your record
from a friend's copy.

You gotta take what you can,
when you can, while you can

and you gotta do it now.

That's what the big boys do.

If you think Mick Jagger
will still be out there

trying to be a rock star at age 50,

you're sadly, sadly mistaken.

Yes, well, thank you, Dennis.

We'll think about what you said.

Oh, no, you... you...

You don't understand. I'll think about it.

I'm not auditioning.

I came here to decide
whether I want to represent you.

So I'll stand outside for a moment

and think about whether I want to stay.

It was a good show.

I miss him already.

I'm telling you, you're coming along at
a may dangerous time for rook and roll.

The war is over. They won.

They will ruin rock and roll

and strangle everything we love about it.

-All right.
-I don't know what that was.

It was a donkey dick, man!

I'm sorry. No matter where you come from,
a donkey dick is funny.

It ain't funny.

Hey.

-Can I help you?
-Is Russell Hammond here?

-Hey, the Enemy!
-Come on in, son.

Welcome to the road manager poker party.

This game's been going on for two years.

Find a spot.

-This is Mick. He's with The Who.
-How you doing?

Raymond. He's with the Eagles.
Reg, he's with Humble Pie.

-I think you know Red Dog.
-Hey, brother!

We've been developing this system
of poker over the years

so you can play it in any condition,
which helps.

We only let Russell in
because he brought the hash.

Easy, easy. The press is here.

Don't mention me or The Eagles.

-I'm done.
-I'm out.

-I'm in.
-All right. All right.

Side proposition to the winner:
for 50 bucks and a case of Heineken,

I'll throw into the pot
three lovely ladies,

including Miss Penny Lane
of the famous Band Aids,

who have to leave the tour
before New York.

-Russ? Is that okay with you?
-Russ is getting soft on us.

-Is that okay?
-Okay.

It's a deal.

Show them.

Three lovely ladies
in the custody of Humble Pie.

Be good to them, Reg.

All right, so we owe you $50
and a case of Heineken.

-Yeah.
-All right.

-Joint?
-You know how I know this is good stuff?

-How?
-This is from Crosby.

-Is that the Crosby weed?
-Yeah. This is from Crosby.

-I'm in.
-I'm in.

Give me alight. I want a fire.

Look, nobody's feelings
are getting hurt here.

She already knows Leslie's coming
to New York tomorrow.

Everybody understands.

This is the circus.
Everybody's trying not to go home.

Nobody's saying goodbye.

Quit looking at me like that.

All right, go get him.

Go get him.

I'm making a wish.

So...

"Penny, our friend,
has gained another year,

but long ago, she threw it in gear.

She rocked the South, the East, the West.

Could we please get off this endless tour

where we're Black Sabbath's
fucking special guests?"

Yeah!

"She says she's retired,
but we've heard that before.

She chose us.

In Penny Lane we trust.

She is a fan of this band.

Much more so than us."

-Yeah!
-Yeah.

Thank you.

Cut the cake!

Let's go!

Who wants it?

Who wants a...

Thank you, baby.

Who wants the "P" in "Penny"?

Happy birthday.

-Oh, thank you.
-I'm sorry the plane isn't bigger.

I'll take a piece.

-Is it good?
-Yeah, it's fucking great.

Who didn't get cake?

Any extra plates?

Anybody?

You think you can fool me.

I can read you.
I know what you're thinking.

-What's that?
-You're worried about me and Russell.

Yeah, I gotta work on that.

You're so sweet.

God, if there was more of you in him.

Don't tell me this stuff.
I want to like him.

Did you miss a test or something?

-You have no idea.
-I know I'm not on the plane.

I'm not going on some other band's bus.

I could go with the Stillwater road crew,
but that would be pathetic,

and the girls are all
going with Humble Pie.

-So if you could find out from Russell--
-Penny.

Forget it. I'm flying to New York myself.
I've got a bunch of partial tickets.

I know his ex-wife,
current-girlfriend thing...

I'm not sure that's a good idea.

What are you saying? What are you
talking about? Did Russell say something?

No. No.

-I don't know anything.
-I know he wants me there.

Wake up!

Don't go to New York.

-Why are you yelling at me?
-I thought we were going to Morocco.

There is no Morocco.
There's never been a Morocco.

There's not even a Penny Lane.

I don't even know your real name.

If I ever met a man in the real world

who looked at me
the way you just looked at me--

When and where
does this "real world" occur?

I mean, I am really confused here.

All these rules
and all these sayings and nicknames.

Honey, you're too sweet for rock and roll.

"Sweet�?

Where do you get off?

Where do you get "sweet"?

I am dark, and mysterious, and pissed off!

And I could be very dangerous
to all of you.

I am not sweet.

And you should know that about me.
I am the Enemy!

Look, you should be happy for me.

You don't know
what he says to me in private.

Maybe it is love,
as much as it can be for somebody--

Who sold you to Humble Pie
for 50 bucks and a case of beer?

I was there.

I was there!

Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

What kind of beer?

Welcome to New York!
It's okay to be nervous.

You should be nervous.

All you can do is be yourself
and leave a pint of blood on that stage.

Hey, William.

We showed you America.
We did everything but get you laid.

No. Yeah?

I'm from the Church of Lenny.

We bow to his will and all...

He's the king of the king of kings.

Maybe I can get an autograph?

Who should I make it out to?

-She's here.
-To Lenny.

-Russel|, can I have your autograph?
-Yeah.

Leslie!

-How you doing?
-Jeffrey.

Room's fully stocked.
Air conditioning's on.

-And by the way, you look stunning.
-Thanks. See you later.

All right, bags in five!

Cars leave for the party at 6:00.

Oh, God.

There are lighter souvenirs, you know.

Well, I kept thinking
I was gonna go home the next day.

Yeah.

So did I, 15 years ago.

That's the wrong bag, you idiot!

-Wi||iam?
-Vic!

It's all happening. They're here.

Zeppelin are here. They are here.
They're at the Plaza.

Sapphire and Miss Penny Lane
are there too.

They're all staying under the name
"Emily Rugburn."

-Wait. Penny Lane is here?
-Emi|y Rugburn.

William Miller?

Sir, you have an urgent call.

Hello?

Hello, this is Jann Wenner,
publisher of Rolling Stone.

Congratulations, it's gonna be a cover.

Annie Leibovitz will shoot them
next week in LA,

but we are gonna need you
back in San Francisco tomorrow.

You can finish the story here. Okay?
Talk to Ben.

You can tell the band.
Alison, our fact-checker, needs you

to transmit whatever you have of the story
tonight, now, along with your notes.

There's a mojo at the Daily News
they'll let us use.

A mojo?

A mojo. It's a very modern machine that
transmits pages over the telephone.

It only takes 18 minutes a page.

As soon as a couple of people leave,
I can fit you right in, okay?

Excuse me. Got an ID?

-No, thanks. I'm fine.
-No, no, no.

Hey, man. He's cool, he's cool.

-Hey, Dennis. How you doin'?
-Great. Everything's great.

Good. Well, you guys enjoy.

-Opie.
-Hey.

I'm going to England with Deep Purple,
and we leave in an hour.

Don't forget me, okay?

It's all happening, but I must vamoosh.

Hey, the Enemy.

We got a table right there.
Why don't you come on?

They're all looking for you.

Guys.

Guys!

You're gonna be on the cover
of Rolling Stone.

Are you serious?

The cover of Rolling Stone.

And we made it together.

And they don't just put somebody

with one little hit on the cover

of Rolling Stone fucking magazine, man!

Damn it, I'm gonna enjoy this.

When I first bought the magazine,

The Beatles were on the cover.

The Beatles.

Four of them, four of us.

Thank you!

Who is that girl? She's creeping me out.

She's not with any of you guys, is she?

Yeah, she's with me.

So, who's gonna shoot it?

I want Annie Leibovitz or Neal Preston.

I love Annie's stuff.
She does great stuff.

I am no good at goodbyes.

And you...

are the last

of my old-time friends.

Polexia.

Polexia went to England with Deep Purple.

Can you believe that?

Even Sapphire went someplace else.

All she left was her Quaaludes.

Oh, wonderful.

Where's Beth?

Where's my friends?
Where are all my friends?

Front desk?
Could you please send a doctor?

Room 537.

Penny, get up!

I'm up.

My wife's had an accident
with some Quaaludes.

-So tired.
-You gotta get up, Penny.

Penny, get up. Get up.

You know that. You know that I'm retired.

I've always been.
I'm retired and I'm tired.

-Jane Abbott.
-Miss Jane Abbott.

Miss Judy Stanton.

-Thank you so much.
-Congratulations. Congratulations.

-Raymond Sanchez.
-Mr. Raymond Sanchez.

Seats and tray tables.

Seat backs and tray tables locked.

And our pending graduate

William Miller, not present.

Why doesn't he love me?

And to the class of 1973 we say,

don't forget to remember yourselves
as you are today--

Full of hope, and the dream
that everything is possible.

And remember this, 20 years from now,

when we all own home computers

and we all travel in shiny electrical cars

that move swiftly high above our city,

that the key to the future

is keeping today alive forever!

Forever, forever!

Penny, no. Wake up!

Wake up!

I'm up.

Well, now that I have your attention...

I know you've heard this before,
and I've never said this to anybody.

Well, nobody who didn't legally
have to say it back to me.

But...

Oh, God, why am I so nervous?

You'll never remember this.

I love you.

And I'm about to boldly go where...

many men have gone before.

Okay, who do we got here?

-What's her name?
-Emi|y.

Okay, sweetheart, sit up, sit up, sit up.

-Good girl. What did you take, sweetheart?
-I'll get her legs.

-What did you take?
-Okay.

-What did you take? Come on.
-I don't know.

-Yes, you do. To� us what you took.
-Okay.

Emily, we're gonna have
to pump your stomach, okay?

-Emi|y, wake up. All right.
-I got the tubes. Here we go. Water.

All right, you're gonna
have to swallow this tube.

All right? Open, open, open.

-All right, come on.
-Don't fight us, we're trying to help you.

-Relax.
-Come on, swallow. Swallow.

I know. I know.

Swallow this now. No, don't bite on it.

Swallow. Emily, come on, swallow.

-Just relax. Got it.
-Very good.

There we go. All done. All done.

Now we've gotta, come on,
feed some liquid into your stomach.

You've never done half the things
you said you did.

It was in the middle
of "Midnight Rambler,"

and Keith Richards saw me,

came to the front of the stage,

and he pulled me out,

and he took me backstage

and gave me a Coke with ice and a lemon.

And I never went home.

I've done twice the things I said I did.

What about your mom?

She always said, "Marry up.

Marry someone grand."

And that's why she named me "Lady."

She named you "Lady"?

Lady Goodman.

Lady Goodman.

That's great.

Now you know all my secrets.

You've got me.

See you back in the real world.

Thank you...

William Miller.

Hey, Lady!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to Eastern Airlines nonstop service

to San Diego.

In preparation for our departure today,

we'd like to ask, please, that
you extinguish all flammable items

and do return all seats
and tray tables to their full--

...that your seat belts
are securely fastened.

And do make note of the emergency exits.

Hey, Wh y didn't you come back to
the party last night? Bob Dylan showed up.

He was sitting at our table
for an hour or something, right?

-Yeah.
-Just rapping.

Bob Dylan at our fucking table.

I was looking for you.
I was gonna introduce you.

What happened to you last night?

It's a long story.

Hi, this is Craig, your pilot.

It appears we've caught the edge
of that electrical storm.

-Oh, my God.
-Electrical storm?

Buckle up fight. Gonna do our best
to get you out of this.

-Rock and roll.
-We shouldn't be here.

-Oh, my God!
-Oh, baby!

Doris, we miss you!

All right, listen.
We're gonna try and land in Tupelo.

-We found a field to land in.
-A field?

I can't breathe, man.

It's gonna be kind of a rough set-down,
but we should be fine.

Just hang in there,
and we'll get you out of this.

Everyone says it's so glamorous out here.

-He just told us we're gonna die.
-We're gonna die?

Oh, my God!

If something should happen--
Maybe I never said this enough.

I love all of you.

I once hit a man in Dearborn, Michigan.
A hit-and-run.

I hit him and just kept on going.

I don't know if he's alive or dead,
but I'm sorry.

Not a day goes by I don't see his face.

Oh, my God!

Look, I love you all too.
You're like family to me!

Especially since Mama left me.

Listen, fellas, I just want you to know,
if I took an extra dollar here and there,

it's because I knew I'd earned it.

-Yeah, I slept with Mama, Dick.
-I did too.

I waited until you broke up with her,
Dick, but me too.

I also slept with Leslie,
when you were fighting.

-You slept with Jeff?
-Yeah, but it didn't count.

It was the summer we decided
to be free of all rules.

-And you say you love me!
-I don't love you, man. I never did.

None of us love you.

-You act above us. You always have.
-Fina||y, the truth.

You just held it over us,
like you might leave.

Like we're lucky to be with you.
And we had to live with it, man.

I had to live with you,

and now I might die with you,
and it's not fucking fair!

Please, enough!

And I'm still in love with you, Leslie.

I don't want to hear any more.

-Shut up, Jeffrey!
-"Jeffrey"?

-It's all happening.
-What the fuck!

Whatever happens, Bebe, you're dead!

Don't be self-righteous, Russell.
Not now, man.

You were sleeping with Penny,
that fucking groupie,

last summer up until yesterday.

Why don't you tell Leslie that?

-Shut up!
-I quit!

-I'm gonna kill you!
-I quit!

"That groupie"?

She was a Band Aid.
All she did was love your band.

And you all used her.

All of you.
You used her and threw her away!

She almost died last night
while you were with Bob Dylan.

You guys, you're always talking
about the fans, the fans, the fans.

She was your biggest fan,
and you threw her away!

And if you can't see that,
that's your biggest problem.

And I love her! I love her!

Fuck it!

I'm-- I'm gay!

Thank God above, we're alive!
We're alive! We're gonna make it!

Sweet relief!

Sweet elixir of life.
Hallelujah. Dear God.

Write what you want.

Leave your package on the desk.

Oh, I'm not a messenger.
I'm one of your writers.

William H. Miller.

He's just a kid. Yeah.

Go right on in.

You're William Miller?

Yep.

Oh, baby.

Didn't anything happen?
I mean, after $600 in room-service bills?

Didn't you get anything on tape
with Russell Hammond?

And where are you in this piece?
What did you want to write?

Because this reads like
what they wanted you to write.

You obviously saw more
than you wrote about.

-Something must've happened.
-Okay, push up Flippo's Who cover.

Good. It's gonna take me
three days to get through this research.

It's all handwritten
on little bits of paper.

It's a puff piece.

Plus, they refer
to all the women as "chicks."

-I have a problem with that.
-You want them to like you.

-It happens.
-It's embarrassing.

Ben, you told me to send what I had.

It's not finished.
Give me tonight to work on it.

Oh, man.

You made friends with them.

See, friendship is the booze
they feed you.

Because they want you to get drunk
on feeling like you belong.

Well, it was fun.

Because they make you feel cool.

-Hey, I met you. You are not cool.
-/ know.

Even when I thought I was,
I knew I wasn't.

Because we are uncool.

While women will always be
a problem for guys like us,

most of the great art in the world
is about that very problem.

Good-looking people, they got no spine.

Their art never lasts.

They get the girls, but we're smarter.

-Yeah, I can really see that now.
Because great art is about

guilt and longing,

and love disguised as sex,
and sex disguised as love.

Hey, let's face it,
you got a big head start.

I'm glad you were home.

I'm always home. I'm uncool.

-Me too.
- You're doing great, you know?

The only true currency
in this bankrupt world

is what you share with someone else
when you're uncool.

Listen, my advice to you,

and I know you think
these guys are your friends.

If you want to be a true friend
to them, be honest...

and unmerciful.

"I'm flying high over Tupelo, Mississippi
with America's hottest band,

and we're all about to die."

-Dark, lively.
-Yeah, yeah, and it gets better.

Did this all really happen?

Give it to me.
I'll call and check the quotes.

Holy shit! I just got off the phone
with Rolling Stone.

-They called me too. What's he using?
-All. He's using it all.

This according to the fact checker.

-So what.
-"So what"?

We come off like amateurs.

Some average band trying
to come to grips with success.

Jealous and fighting and breaking up.

We're buffoons!
"Rock and roll can save the world"?

"The chicks are great"?
I sound like a dick.

-You are a dick.
-I never said that.

Maybe we just don't see ourselves
the way we really are.

Is it that hard to make us look cool?

Russell, this kid
has you on acid screaming,

"I'm a golden god," from a fan's rooftop.

They used him to fuck us. They'll probably
just put you on the cover.

Wait. I never said, "I'm a golden god."

Or did I?

We never took him seriously.

Now it's serious.

I liked him as a person.

He was never a person.
He was a journalist!

You! You had the right idea all along.

How about the plane flight?

It's all there.

Don't worry.
It's unspecific who says what.

No names are mentioned
in the more embarrassing sequences.

It's just completely obvious who's who,
and we're fucked!

I told him he could write what he wanted.

Hey, they haven't talked to Russell yet.

You can always deny the key stuff
to the fact checker.

One phone call. Then they can't print it.

Is that true?

This is war, my friend.

You'd have met me earlier,
he would have never been around.

He'll live.

Let's identify the goals here.

T-shirts, foreign markets,
renegotiating your contract,

merchandising.

Happiness.

Realizing your dreams.

Money. Cool.

Meeting the Beatles.

Let's put all of it in the pot.

It all depends on mystique,

not giving too much away.

I'm going to LA tonight.
Call me if you need me.

But before I go, let me give you
a lesson in mystique.

You can only have one.
Which one do you want?

Which one are you gonna choose?

As long as you can't see
what's in this hand...

you'll always want it more.

It's phenomenal, William,
to be quite honest with you.

It's sophisticated, intelligent.
We only had to cutout a couple of graphs.

Jeff Bebe's mother already sent over
a shoe box full of childhood photos.

-She did?
-It's gonna look fantastic.

The band just denied 90%
of the story. It's a fabrication.

You weren't honest.
And worse, you wasted our time.

Did you talk to Russell Hammond?

Russell Hammond is the one who denied it.

-Now wait a second.
-Denied it.

We're going with The Who.
Manuscript's in my office.

He's just some fan. What do you expect?

Ben! Wait!

William?

You guys, this is my brother.

-Nice to finally meet you.
-You have a good day.

You guys, I'll deadhead back later.

I think I'm needed.

I'll see you.

You look awful.

But it's great.

You're living your life.

You're free of Mom.

Hey, I'll take off work.

Let's have an adventure together.
You and me, finally.

Anywhere you want to go.
Anywhere in the world.

This is not my idea of a good time.

-Just get me to my bed.
-I'll deal with her.

I forgive you.

I didn't apologize.

Hey, Sapphire.

Hey, boy.

-I hate goodbyes.
-Me too.

All right, so I didn't like you much.

Did we have to like each other?

I sort of thought so.

I think it would have worked against us.
I really do.

You know what they say?

All the great partnerships
hated each other.

We didn't hate each other that much,
did we?

No, maybe not.

I could work on it though.

I just can't picture you with Leslie.

I'm the you they get
when they can't get you.

-Sorry.
-I got it.

-It's cool.
-I'll get it, man.

-I'll see you later.
-All right.

-See ya.
-All right.

Is Penny okay?

The Quaaludes incident?

Well, it wasn't pretty.

She could've died.

I always told her not to let
too many guys fall in love with her.

I guess I was wrong.
One of them ended up saving her life.

William?

What do you care? I mean,
we all know what you did to him.

I mean, everybody knows.

Even Penny Lane.

Hey, something tells me 20 years from now,

we'll remember her.

And not much else.

Hey, Russell.

Hey.

Can you believe these new girls?

None of them use birth control,
and they eat all the steak.

I mean, they don't even know
what it is to be a fan.

You know, to truly love
some silly little piece of music

or some band so much

that it hurts.

Hello, Penny?

It's Russell. Don't hang up.

I can't really talk right now.
I'm in a roomful of people.

Actually, I'm alone.

I won't call again, I promise.

But I need to see you face-to-face

because I'm never as good
as When you're there

and I can see myself
the way you look at me.

And I'm sorry. If we could just
get together and find some time to talk...

let's say all the things we never said.

Give me your address.

I'm coming to you...

this time.

Got a pen?

Hello, Penny.

Hello, Penny.

Hello. Hello, Penny.

I'm Russell Hammond.

So this is the famous Russell Hammond.

Come in.

-Is she home?
-Who? Anita?

-Where am I?
-Hello?

Hi.

You know, when we spoke,
I felt that we connected.

Oh, man.

My son is very important to me too.

And I do think you owe him an apology.

I appreciate you showing up.

No, no, I agree, ma'am.

There's hope for you yet, Russell.

Well...

Hi.

So this is...

where the Enemy sleeps.

You know, I think we both
wanted to be with her.

And she wanted us to be together.

You should give her a call.

You both live in the same city.

-You really think I should?
-Yeah.

That girl really cares about you.

Man, I never even knew her real name.

I called your magazine

and told them the truth.

I don't know what
they're gonna do with it,

but I told them
every word you wrote was true.

We are gonna do this one more time.

80, Russell...

what do you love about music?

To begin with...

everything.

-Tickets!
-How much? How much?

Morocco. Seat by the window, please.

Thank you.