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1
00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:21,478
Dream season.
2
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:26,109
After going almost entirely
winless the year before,
3
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,694
this year, we went undefeated.
4
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:32,574
24 wins, zero losses.
A perfect season.
5
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,367
And a NOSHO record.
6
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,368
Then things got even better.
7
00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:38,704
We made our bid for
the National Senior Tournament,
8
00:00:38,829 --> 00:00:42,374
and we got it.
The best hockey teams in Canada
9
00:00:42,499 --> 00:00:44,877
are coming here to play
for the national title
10
00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:47,297
against you, in Sudbury.
11
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,423
Let's set the fuckin' tone!
12
00:00:49,548 --> 00:00:51,467
After our perfect
regular season,
13
00:00:51,592 --> 00:00:53,261
it appeared the table was set.
14
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,429
We would win the NOSHO playoffs
and then move on
15
00:00:55,554 --> 00:00:57,223
to the National Senior
Tournament.
16
00:00:57,848 --> 00:01:01,351
But the playoffs...
didn't go as planned.
17
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,360
♪ Catch a boat
to England, baby ♪
18
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,988
♪ Maybe to Spain ♪
19
00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:15,574
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
20
00:01:15,699 --> 00:01:18,411
♪ Wherever I've been and gone ♪
21
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,288
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
22
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:24,333
♪ The blues run the game ♪
23
00:01:28,587 --> 00:01:30,839
♪ Send out for whiskey, baby ♪
24
00:01:30,964 --> 00:01:33,092
♪ Send out for gin ♪
25
00:01:34,092 --> 00:01:36,595
♪ Me and room service, honey ♪
26
00:01:36,595 --> 00:01:38,890
♪ Me and room service, mama ♪
27
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,934
♪ Me and room service ♪
28
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,685
♪ We are living a life of sin ♪
29
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,401
♪ When I'm not sleeping, honey ♪
30
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:52,445
♪ You are on my mind ♪
31
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,490
♪ When I'm not sleeping, honey ♪
32
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,159
♪ I ain't sleeping, mama ♪
33
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,993
♪ When I ain't sleeping ♪
34
00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,497
♪ You know you'll
find me crying ♪
35
00:02:05,582 --> 00:02:07,961
Fuck's sake.
36
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,673
Like, it's so dumb.
37
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,641
What a fuckin' bunch of losers.
38
00:02:36,238 --> 00:02:37,615
What can we say boys?
39
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,951
Nothing worse than losing
to the Yanks.
40
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,536
- In our own fuckin' barn.
- Especially in our own barn.
41
00:02:42,661 --> 00:02:44,497
I don't know what
to say for the best, b'ys.
42
00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:47,499
Maybe there ain't
no best to it.
43
00:02:47,499 --> 00:02:49,669
But just because we lost
doesn't mean there shouldn't
44
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:50,753
be a game stick.
45
00:02:52,629 --> 00:02:55,633
Goody, you played through
a separated shoulder.
46
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,302
Dolo, foot fracture.
47
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,970
Never seen a team so hurt
as this by the Lard Jaysus.
48
00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:01,973
Fish, you came back
from a skate laceration
49
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,433
to the neck.
50
00:03:05,642 --> 00:03:07,729
Shoresy.
51
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,356
You came back from a concussion
in the first round.
52
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:13,443
And you played through a torn
groin and a hip pointer.
53
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,361
What happens
with a hip pointer?
54
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:16,778
Can't push when you shit.
55
00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:19,282
You were the leader
this team needed.
56
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:22,284
Shoresy,
57
00:03:23,118 --> 00:03:25,038
game stick goes to you, my man.
58
00:03:29,041 --> 00:03:30,709
Be proud, Shoresy.
59
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:31,961
Chin up, buddy.
60
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,047
Lard Jaysus, boys,
we nearly had 'em!
61
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,762
- What is it, my dude?
- I can't.
62
00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:44,682
I brought you guys in
because everybody
63
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:47,184
was acting like bitches.
64
00:03:47,434 --> 00:03:50,480
And now you're all acting
like bitches, too.
65
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,439
- Okay, that's unfair, Shoresy.
- Just shut the fuck up,
66
00:03:52,564 --> 00:03:53,899
Michaels.
- We just lost
67
00:03:53,899 --> 00:03:56,319
to the Yanks. You're all acting
like you wanna eat...
68
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,861
each other's pussies.
69
00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:01,241
Like you're opening
a second bottle of wine with...
70
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,659
your gal pal.
- My son--
71
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,827
I don't wanna fuckin'
lift my head right now
72
00:04:04,952 --> 00:04:07,537
'cause you're probably all
giving each other ski poles.
73
00:04:07,537 --> 00:04:08,998
Ski poles?
74
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,250
Come on, Shoresy,
say something positive.
75
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,128
Fuckin' Sommerfeld's
dog mom
76
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,714
wasn't lickin' her lips at me
all fuckin' night for once.
77
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,841
- Okay.
- Fuckin' Briggsy's fat sister
78
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,053
isn't looking as ugly
as when she tried to fuck me
two years ago.
79
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,846
- Shoresy.
- Fuckin' Michaels' ex-sweetie
80
00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:26,140
flashed me her bird
and I thought it as an accident,
81
00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:27,892
but now I don't think it was.
- Hey!
82
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,185
What about Phillips?
He had the game of his life.
83
00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,272
- Who?
- Phillips.
84
00:04:32,688 --> 00:04:34,147
- That's Phillips.
- No, it isn't.
85
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,484
- Who do you think that is?
- I don't fuckin' know.
86
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,652
- Shoresy, the boys are hurt.
- It's fuckin' hockey!
87
00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:40,904
You go 'til you can't
go no more.
88
00:04:42,489 --> 00:04:45,450
Fuck!
89
00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:54,209
- Let's get drunk.
- Wait, how drunk?
90
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,628
Like NOSHO record party drunk?
91
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,719
I don't think we should
get that drunk again.
92
00:05:08,181 --> 00:05:10,726
It's been long enough.
You should go say something.
93
00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:16,983
This is--
- Unfortunate?
94
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,484
Pathetic?
95
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:20,611
A real cunt.
96
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,113
We're hosting the National
Senior Tournament in a week.
97
00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:24,573
We're beat up
from the feet up.
98
00:05:24,698 --> 00:05:26,034
Seven days rest
can go a long way.
99
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,161
We're supposed to be there
because we're the best team.
100
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,079
Now we're only there
'cause we're the host team.
101
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,539
So, the host team gets
in automatically.
102
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,916
Look at it as good fortune.
- We're the team that gets
103
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,709
in on a formality.
- We're throw-ins.
104
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,169
Doesn't matter how you get
to the dance,
105
00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:38,628
you just gotta get there.
- We're filler.
106
00:05:38,628 --> 00:05:39,839
- Freeloaders.
- Nat.
107
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,173
When they see
the Sudbury guys,
108
00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:42,967
you think anyone's gonna
look at them and say,
109
00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,260
"Uh-oh." Won't get any respect.
110
00:05:45,385 --> 00:05:47,180
Sometimes you have
to demand it.
111
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,765
Yo, last year we wanted
to win one game.
112
00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:52,351
This year, we won them all.
Now we have a chance to win
113
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:54,729
the whole country. Cash in.
114
00:05:55,395 --> 00:05:57,774
We've got a week to get
these guys over this loss
115
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,443
and refocused for the National
Senior Tournament.
116
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,736
We've gotta get 'em healed.
117
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,529
Thank fuck there won't
be much fighting.
118
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,697
I dunno. There may be
a national title on the line,
119
00:06:05,697 --> 00:06:07,450
but it's still senior
whale shit hockey.
120
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,118
Seriously. Nat, at least
go check on Shoresy.
121
00:06:10,243 --> 00:06:12,037
Yeah, ask him when
he's gonna start chipping in
122
00:06:12,162 --> 00:06:13,539
on the scoresheet.
- He always finds
123
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,707
a way to contribute.
He can't handle losing.
124
00:06:15,707 --> 00:06:17,334
Show me someone
who can handle losing
125
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:18,960
and I'll show you a loser.
126
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,383
Let's get these guys drunk.
127
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,842
Wait... how drunk?
128
00:06:25,842 --> 00:06:29,471
Yeah. NOSHO record
party drunk?
129
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,686
I don't think they should
get that drunk again.
130
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:16,644
Let's go boys!
Fill 'er up, barmaid! Come on!
131
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,229
You boys wanna give it a hoist?
132
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,022
Something to remind you
of the good old days?
133
00:07:20,147 --> 00:07:21,606
Goody couldn't
if he wanted to.
134
00:07:21,606 --> 00:07:22,608
All right, that's enough.
135
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,734
Won't let ya drink out of it,
136
00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:26,529
but why don't ya come
give it a kiss?
137
00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:29,489
- Drink your beer.
- I'll go get the bouncers.
138
00:07:29,614 --> 00:07:31,616
- They don't need them.
- Come on over, boys.
139
00:07:31,616 --> 00:07:33,327
Give it a kiss.
- Let's keep it classy.
140
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:35,830
Can't wait to rip a snooter
off this thing.
141
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:37,789
Come on! Kiss it!
142
00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:44,464
Fuckin' pussies.
The runner-ups!
143
00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:52,053
What's that you were saying
about respect again, Miig?
144
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,140
- Sometimes you have to--
- It's pathetic.
145
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,599
What's wrong with them?
146
00:07:55,599 --> 00:07:59,228
I'm fuckin' hurt!
Oh, I'm fuckin' real hurt.
147
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:00,645
- Your head?
- No.
148
00:08:00,645 --> 00:08:02,315
- Your hand?
- No.
149
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:04,817
My heart.
- Are you hurt,
150
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,527
or are you injured?
- We're the fuckin'
151
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,111
Teenage Mutant Injured Turtles.
152
00:08:08,111 --> 00:08:09,863
You gotta leave it
behind you, my guy.
153
00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:11,907
Game seven. In our barn.
154
00:08:12,032 --> 00:08:13,116
Refocus.
155
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,161
We're going to the National
Senior Tournament.
156
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,870
Yeah, as fuckin'
honorable mentions.
157
00:08:16,995 --> 00:08:18,748
Tit fucker.
- As runner-ups.
158
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,874
- Runners-up.
- As the guys who didn't
159
00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:23,002
earn it. It's embarrassing.
160
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,836
Ya needs a break,
me son.
161
00:08:24,961 --> 00:08:27,547
After that hit you took
in the first round,
162
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:29,466
you should be out
four to six weeks, old man.
163
00:08:29,466 --> 00:08:30,593
Four to six?
164
00:08:31,426 --> 00:08:32,677
Just 'cause I can't push
when I shit,
165
00:08:32,802 --> 00:08:34,512
you think it's four to six?
Settle down.
166
00:08:34,638 --> 00:08:36,474
- What are you even doing?
- Lookin' at girls
167
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,682
on the internet.
Why?
168
00:08:37,807 --> 00:08:39,893
- Had a sec.
- Goody's hurt worse than me.
169
00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:41,686
Goody's not hurt
so bad as what you are.
170
00:08:41,811 --> 00:08:43,940
- He's got his arm in a sling.
- It's a holster.
171
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,191
- Goody's four to six.
- Just 'cause I have my arm
172
00:08:46,191 --> 00:08:47,692
in this, you think
it's four to six?
173
00:08:47,817 --> 00:08:49,195
Dolo's hurt worse
than Goody is.
174
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,488
Takes ya 20 minutes
to get from the crapper
175
00:08:51,488 --> 00:08:52,864
to the couch, old man.
176
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,576
Doesn't matter.
We're all fuckin' losers anyway.
177
00:08:56,701 --> 00:08:58,870
Never see a team
with so many injuries as this,
178
00:08:58,995 --> 00:09:00,373
b'ys, by the Lard Jaysus.
179
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,916
We're the tag alongs
of the tournament.
180
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,542
Oh, nice work, Sanguinet.
181
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:06,045
Now you've upset Big Sexy.
182
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,671
You wanna find out
who's the most hurt?
183
00:09:07,671 --> 00:09:10,049
- Go easy, Big Sex.
- Come where we're to.
184
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,884
We has a walking competition.
- A walking competition?
185
00:09:12,884 --> 00:09:14,887
You says you're not hurt
so bad as what he is.
186
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,264
- Get control of your bird.
- He says he's not hurt
187
00:09:17,389 --> 00:09:18,974
so bad as what you is.
- You talk like
188
00:09:19,099 --> 00:09:20,059
a fuckin' idiot, eh?
189
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,852
And you're hurt more bad--
190
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,229
So, come on over
where we're to.
191
00:09:24,229 --> 00:09:25,730
We has a walking competition
192
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:28,316
and we finds out
who's the most hurt.
193
00:09:28,441 --> 00:09:30,152
Don't walk out on me, old man!
194
00:09:30,277 --> 00:09:31,778
I'm takin' care
of my bird!
195
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:33,738
Who do you think
is the most hurt?
196
00:09:33,863 --> 00:09:35,700
Shoresy really got his bell
rung in the first round.
197
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,158
He was a fuckin' ghost
the second round.
198
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,618
- He got trucked.
- Maybe it'll make him
199
00:09:38,743 --> 00:09:40,745
less stubborn.
- Won't make him less stupid.
200
00:09:40,745 --> 00:09:42,415
We ready?
- We're ready.
201
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,583
Let's get started.
202
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,041
Well,
can I premise it by saying
203
00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:46,418
something first?
- Premise?
204
00:09:46,543 --> 00:09:48,296
- Huh?
- What do you mean, premise?
205
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,006
Well, I wanna--
206
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,257
Nutella's junk, eh?
207
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,425
Preface.
208
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,218
If you wanna ruin
a good piece of toast.
209
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,761
Fer... how do you...
210
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:57,597
Well, you wants
to say something
before you walks, right?
211
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,139
I was gonna say
a few words, yeah.
212
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:00,766
Okay, well ya wants
to preface it.
213
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:05,229
So... I meant to say preface
but I said premise?
214
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,355
- That's what ya did, b'y.
- Oh, my God.
215
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,773
What an idiot, eh?
216
00:10:08,898 --> 00:10:10,859
- Good thing no chick saw that.
- Settle down.
217
00:10:10,984 --> 00:10:13,278
- I dies at ya, b'y.
- Well, I guess
218
00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:15,531
I'm going to preface my walk
219
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:18,658
by saying, and I'm sure
you've all noticed this before,
220
00:10:18,783 --> 00:10:21,369
I have one leg
shorter than the other.
221
00:10:21,494 --> 00:10:23,623
- By how much?
- By about two inches.
222
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,790
Two inches?
223
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,208
Inch and a half,
two inches, yeah.
224
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,584
No, b'y.
Never knew that, old man.
225
00:10:27,584 --> 00:10:29,461
Well, I try not to make
a big deal of it.
226
00:10:29,586 --> 00:10:31,714
Try not to let it
get in my way. Get me down.
227
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:35,926
But if you notice something
in my walk, it's probably that.
228
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,845
I don't have to talk while
I'm doing it or anything, right?
229
00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:40,598
- No, b'y.
- Go.
230
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:44,225
You want me to rush you
when you're walking?
231
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,104
Let's have a little etiquette
in here, boys.
232
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,480
A little sportsmanship
here, now.
233
00:10:57,113 --> 00:10:58,865
K, now come back
where we're to.
234
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,701
See, it's just a little
slower than ordinary.
235
00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:04,872
But that's probably the leg,
which we've established.
236
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,874
Otherwise, there's really
nothing out of the ordinary.
237
00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:10,085
Yeah, so...
- Four to six.
238
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,921
Just 'cause I can't
push when I shit?
239
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,671
You walk like you had
your shit pushed.
240
00:11:13,797 --> 00:11:16,133
B'y, I knew you'd be lookin'
four to six but--
241
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,968
Who's... up next?
242
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:19,844
I didn't think you'd be
lookin' that four to six.
243
00:11:19,969 --> 00:11:22,013
Could we just keep
this moving, please?
244
00:11:22,138 --> 00:11:24,182
Yes.
Teams for this year's
245
00:11:24,307 --> 00:11:25,850
National Senior Tournament
are set.
246
00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:27,519
- Dynamite.
- Against all odds,
247
00:11:27,644 --> 00:11:29,522
we'll have teams from
all over Turtle Island
248
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,565
representing western Canada,
eastern Canada,
249
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:35,027
Quebec, northern Ontario,
southern Ontario, and us.
250
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,362
Six whole teams.
251
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,113
Why aren't the other
provinces sending teams?
252
00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:39,864
Because it's senior
whale shit hockey.
253
00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:41,867
Up first, representing
western Canada,
254
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:45,079
from the province of Alberta,
home of Treaties 6, 7, and 8,
255
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,872
the Brooks Barrelmen.
256
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,998
From the heart
of cowmen country Canada,
257
00:11:48,998 --> 00:11:51,960
for these guys, it's hockey
all winter, rodeo all summer.
258
00:11:52,085 --> 00:11:54,296
They're tie-down ropers,
steer wrestlers,
259
00:11:54,421 --> 00:11:56,507
and of course,
bull and bronco riders.
260
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,551
You've gotta be certifiable
for that sport.
261
00:11:58,676 --> 00:11:59,884
Stupid tough.
262
00:12:00,009 --> 00:12:02,220
According to the scouting
report, they kinda are.
263
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:03,806
- Tough?
- Stupid.
264
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:06,016
- How stupid?
- Time will tell.
265
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,392
If we're talking
notable players,
266
00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:10,186
we're talking the Friesen twins,
AKA the Freezer Twins.
267
00:12:10,186 --> 00:12:11,814
- Why Freezer?
- Because they're built
268
00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:12,897
like large appliances.
269
00:12:12,897 --> 00:12:14,233
These guys played
270
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:15,984
Team Canada rugby
for four years.
271
00:12:16,109 --> 00:12:18,070
So, needless to say,
they like to hit.
272
00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:21,449
Keep your head up
around these guys
273
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,825
or you know what'll happen.
274
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,243
Four to six!
275
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,870
I'll be the judge of that,
me son. Dolo, you're up.
276
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:29,665
Hold on. You ready?
277
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,084
Little sportsmanship
in here, eh?
278
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,835
- Sorry, b'y.
- Let's let Dolo get focused
279
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,838
for his walk here, boys.
A little quiet in here now.
280
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,772
Well, who's lookin'
four to six now?
281
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,315
He's lookin' pretty
four to six.
282
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,690
Mm-hmm.
283
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,777
You can't really
walk at all, bro.
284
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,528
Hard to believe he's been
doing it his whole life.
285
00:13:00,653 --> 00:13:02,113
What's good.
- He's more four to six
286
00:13:02,113 --> 00:13:03,657
than Shoresy.
- B'ys, we still don't really
287
00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:05,075
know who's the four to sixiest.
288
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,660
Okay, who's next?
289
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,036
Representing eastern Canada,
290
00:13:08,161 --> 00:13:10,372
from Prince Edward Island,
the Charlottetown Reds.
291
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:11,916
PEI, Mi'kmaq territory.
292
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,291
Not unlike folks
from Newfoundland,
293
00:13:13,416 --> 00:13:16,253
Prince Edward Islanders
have some unique speech.
294
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,129
- Example?
- Ever seen the Prince Edward
295
00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:20,758
Island Encyclopedia on YouTube?
- What's goin' on?
296
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,301
I'll fuckin' flatten ya,
young buck.
297
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,427
I'm gonna come to your house
and slam your fuckin' cupboards.
298
00:13:24,427 --> 00:13:26,680
- Nice kit bag there, big nuts.
- I'll beat you like you're
299
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,889
on a fishin' trip
with your father.
300
00:13:28,014 --> 00:13:29,517
Easy there, George Clooney.
301
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,477
Where'd the cows die?
Who the fuck are you?
302
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,897
- Noted.
- Most of these guys
303
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,022
are commercial fishermen.
304
00:13:36,147 --> 00:13:38,234
Out on the Atlantic
for days on end
305
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,402
fishing for herring,
mackerel, crab.
306
00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:42,153
They know hard work.
307
00:13:42,278 --> 00:13:43,948
But a handful of them
are owners-operators
308
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,907
of what many call
the best seafood shack
309
00:13:46,032 --> 00:13:47,325
on Prince Edward Island.
310
00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:51,997
Serving up fresh shucked
oysters, seafood chowder,
311
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:54,208
and their signature
lobster rolls.
312
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,542
I'm hungry.
313
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,335
So, who are we watching for?
314
00:13:57,335 --> 00:14:00,214
These guys play
as a unit. No one-man shows.
315
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,758
Beware, they're pedal to the rug
for a full sixty.
316
00:14:03,883 --> 00:14:05,511
Hard fuckin' workers.
317
00:14:06,094 --> 00:14:08,305
But a standout in another sense
318
00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:10,474
would be the gorgeous
Gord Gallant.
319
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:12,100
This guy makes panty soup.
320
00:14:12,225 --> 00:14:13,810
Ew.
He soaks Uggs.
321
00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:15,937
Entering a dink
phase, eh, Ziig?
322
00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:17,690
If you can resist him,
you're doing well.
323
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,440
- Up to the task?
- Probably just another
324
00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:20,901
Instagram doll
and real-life donkey.
325
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,862
When was the last time
you dated a hockey player?
326
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,281
You don't date sluts.
You just take 'em down.
327
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,532
- Anything else?
- Aside from all of that,
328
00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:31,619
the word on these guys is that
they're just really... nice.
329
00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:33,288
Nice?
330
00:14:35,373 --> 00:14:36,291
Nice.
331
00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,252
Well,
that's fuckin' nice.
332
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,045
- Holy!
- Agreed.
333
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,006
- So dumb.
- You can walk more good
334
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,049
than Dolo,
but he's playin' better.
335
00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:47,511
Well, you gotta find a way
to contribute.
336
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,970
Sanger, sit down.
Shut the fuck up.
337
00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:51,223
- What're you guys doin'?
- Walking competition.
338
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,349
- Walking competition?
- To find out who's hurt
339
00:14:53,349 --> 00:14:56,353
more bad than who.
Now, you're up, old man.
340
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,569
Oh, fuck.
Think he'd be that good?
341
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:04,652
- At walking?
- Yep.
342
00:15:04,777 --> 00:15:06,613
No.
- Me neither.
343
00:15:06,738 --> 00:15:07,698
Me neither.
344
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,575
Now come back where
we're to, me son.
345
00:15:15,955 --> 00:15:17,624
Yep. Yep, he's good.
346
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:19,209
He walks good.
347
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,378
I ain't never seen anybody
walk so good as that.
348
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,464
No, me neither.
I know. I know.
349
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,089
- Sanguinet?
- No, no, no.
350
00:15:25,089 --> 00:15:27,091
He doesn't get to just
waltz in here and say
351
00:15:27,216 --> 00:15:28,926
who walks good.
352
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,805
That's good walking, Goody.
Congratulations.
353
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,474
You're the least four to six.
354
00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:36,768
Well, Dolo, Hitch,
we're runner-ups again.
355
00:15:36,893 --> 00:15:38,646
- Runners-up.
- Yep.
356
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,773
Lost the NOSHO Cup. Now we lost
the walking competition.
357
00:15:41,898 --> 00:15:43,275
May as well be eatin'
solo paninis.
358
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,984
- Why?
- We're fuckin' losers.
359
00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:46,653
Never seen a team
with so many injuries
360
00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:48,363
as this, b'ys,
by the Lard Jaysus.
361
00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:51,492
Think anyone's gonna see
the Bulldogs and say "Uh-oh"?
362
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,076
No fuckin' way.
363
00:15:53,076 --> 00:15:54,911
Want me to come over
364
00:15:54,911 --> 00:15:57,288
to your house,
slam your fuckin' doors?
365
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,968
Anik Archambault here,
welcoming you back to another
366
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:11,261
edition of Questionable Call
brought to you
367
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,638
by BROdude Energy.
With me, as always,
368
00:16:13,763 --> 00:16:16,307
are panelists Jay Onrait,
Tessa Bonhomme,
369
00:16:16,432 --> 00:16:17,892
and the man they call RA.
370
00:16:18,017 --> 00:16:20,604
Mesdames and messieurs,
as you are well aware,
371
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,480
BROdude Energy has been granted
372
00:16:22,605 --> 00:16:24,233
the exclusive
broadcasting rights
373
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,442
of the National Senior
Hockey Tournament
374
00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:27,652
in Sudbury, Ontario.
375
00:16:27,777 --> 00:16:30,071
Can only imagine
the cutthroat competition
376
00:16:30,196 --> 00:16:32,657
for that contract, Anik.
- Bet it was eye popping.
377
00:16:32,782 --> 00:16:34,493
Remember when we used
to cover real hockey?
378
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,993
Today we continue
the breakdown
379
00:16:35,993 --> 00:16:37,329
of the participating teams
380
00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,956
starting with my home province.
- La belle province.
381
00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:42,001
Representing Quebec
at this year's tournament
382
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,960
is Les Rapides de Rawdon.
383
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,003
Quebec is home to the toughest
league in hockey,
384
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:49,340
and make no mistake,
Les Rapides are the toughest.
385
00:16:49,465 --> 00:16:51,718
Pierre-Luc Leblond,
Danick Paquette,
386
00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:53,345
and Steve Bossé.
Leblond fought
387
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,722
the toughest guys in the show
388
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,264
when goons were still
in the game.
389
00:16:56,389 --> 00:16:58,934
Paquette's face looks
like it was carved out of wood.
390
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,852
If you think you recognize
Bossé from the YouTube
391
00:17:00,977 --> 00:17:02,562
knockout videos,
you probably recognize him
392
00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:04,356
from the UFC as well.
He's 12-2-0.
393
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,692
Someone else fans
may recognize is the team owner,
394
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,819
Quebec pop icon, Marie-Mai.
395
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,487
The multi-platinum artist
and Queb darling
396
00:17:11,487 --> 00:17:13,448
is also a hockey fan.
397
00:17:13,573 --> 00:17:15,283
One of the things
worth mentioning to fans,
398
00:17:15,408 --> 00:17:18,162
she was one engaged
to JJ Frankie JJ.
399
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,121
With the Sudbury
Blueberry Bulldogs
400
00:17:20,246 --> 00:17:21,874
serving as the host team
and the SOO Hunt
401
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,207
representing
northern Ontario...
402
00:17:23,207 --> 00:17:25,042
- SOO, Michigan, baby.
- We're left with one
403
00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:27,378
final entry.
Representing southern Ontario,
404
00:17:27,503 --> 00:17:28,922
coming from the city
with the most
405
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,632
Italian Canadians per capita
in the country,
406
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,886
the Vaughan Canadesi.
- Cannoli imagine
407
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,221
there are a few Italians
on the team, Anik.
408
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,974
Actually, Jay,
every single one.
409
00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:41,393
Ferrari, Ferrara, Ferraro,
410
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,645
Barbieri, Barberio, Barbara,
411
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,272
DiBenidetti, Deodato,
DiDomenico.
412
00:17:46,397 --> 00:17:47,648
You get the idea.
413
00:17:47,774 --> 00:17:51,028
These guys play the game hard,
fast, and emotional.
414
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,780
So, who we
looking for, Anik?
415
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,323
Number 98,
Marco Sylvestri.
416
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:57,242
Sly Sylvestri?
What, you know him?
417
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,035
He used to be in Boston's
system for a while.
418
00:17:59,035 --> 00:18:00,913
And?
He could
pick the prosciutto
419
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,164
outta your teeth with a stick.
420
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,624
More of a pancetta guy.
421
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,041
So, he loves
the lumber.
422
00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:06,376
Oh, he'll be
the dirtiest player
423
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,253
in the tournament.
- Good matchup for Shoresy.
424
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:09,879
I'm hearing Shoresy's hurt.
425
00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:11,214
The man doesn't like
to be outdone.
426
00:18:11,214 --> 00:18:12,925
But does anyone really care?
427
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,260
We'll find out soon
as the best teams in Canada
428
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,762
descend on Sudbury today.
429
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,348
The best teams in Canada
and the Sudbury Mango Malamutes.
430
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,599
Oh, you're fuckin'
hilarious, Liam.
431
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,266
If things get rough,
just throw one of your
432
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:23,601
Band-Aids at 'em.
- You too, Cory.
433
00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:25,102
You're so fuckin' funny.
- Squirt 'em with
434
00:18:25,228 --> 00:18:26,813
some Polysporin.
- Like the funniest guys
435
00:18:26,938 --> 00:18:28,314
who ever lived.
- Why aren't you laughing?
436
00:18:28,439 --> 00:18:29,649
Don't worry, Liam,
I don't laugh
437
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:31,526
at your mom's jokes either
and every time,
438
00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:33,486
she's like, "What? I'm funny!"
439
00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:35,364
I don't laugh at your mom's
440
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,741
jokes either, Cory,
and every time she's like,
441
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,118
"Be nice to me!"
442
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,453
Regular season league record
only to blow it in playoffs.
443
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,995
Must sting.
- Little bit, Cor.
444
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,747
- Any regrets?
- My only regret
445
00:18:44,747 --> 00:18:46,625
is not serving my country.
- Oh yeah?
446
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,085
Yeah, and I think about it
every time
447
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,628
I go to war
on your mom's ass.
448
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,463
- You're fuckin' awful, Shoresy.
- Fuck you.
449
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,298
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Liam.
450
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,175
Better tell your mom to go
get checked out.
451
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,636
I saw Cory's mom last night.
Now my dick feels
452
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,804
like it ate a pack of Halls.
- Clean it up.
453
00:18:59,929 --> 00:19:01,430
Yeah, tell that
to your mom, Cor.
454
00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:03,308
She climbed over my gearshift
last night
455
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:05,018
to hop on my wiener
and that thing still
456
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,937
smells like shrimp scampi.
- Fuck you, Shoresy.
457
00:19:07,937 --> 00:19:09,982
Fuck you, Liam.
Every time I hit your mom
458
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,818
from the back it sounds like
someone running in flip-flops.
459
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,778
Fuck you!
- Cory, I got your mom
460
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,989
on speed dial
and Liam's mom blocked.
461
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,282
I don't know which one
should be more embarrassed.
462
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,456
- Fuckin' what?
- Captain's meeting.
463
00:20:50,581 --> 00:20:52,000
Yeah, well you shoulda
come to us.
464
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,086
It's fuckin' freezing out there.
- You've got the National
465
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,170
Senior Tournament in two days.
Hope I'm warm by then.
466
00:20:56,295 --> 00:20:57,964
The other teams have already
started to show up.
467
00:20:58,089 --> 00:21:02,677
We've got a problem.
468
00:21:02,802 --> 00:21:04,262
Yeah? What's the problem,
Sanguinet?
469
00:21:04,387 --> 00:21:06,555
You've lost your identity
as hockey players.
470
00:21:10,476 --> 00:21:11,852
After that loss,
you've forgotten
471
00:21:11,978 --> 00:21:14,689
what makes you unique
as athletes of the sport.
472
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,859
Well, Lard Jaysus,
I never see a team
473
00:21:18,985 --> 00:21:20,195
with so many injuries
as this, b'y.
474
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,862
No excuses.
475
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,407
- But--
- Hockey players don't
476
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,866
make excuses.
477
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,368
You play for the logo
on the front,
478
00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:27,703
not the name on the back.
479
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:29,538
You play for your city
and for your teammates.
480
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,707
You win for them. No excuses.
481
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,714
He can barely walk.
I can barely lift my arm.
482
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,631
Never let them know
you're hurt.
483
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:43,426
You're the leaders of this team
and look at you.
484
00:21:43,426 --> 00:21:45,345
One's in a sling,
one's limping around.
485
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,263
You're crying about being cold.
486
00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:51,059
Give your balls a tug.
You're hockey players.
487
00:21:51,475 --> 00:21:53,145
Never let them know you're hurt.
488
00:21:56,313 --> 00:21:57,148
Shoresy,
489
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,193
you're the captain of this team.
Why did we lose to the Yanks?
490
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,361
- No excuses.
- You hurt?
491
00:22:02,486 --> 00:22:04,321
Go 'til you can't go no more.
492
00:22:04,447 --> 00:22:07,158
Then why you all like...
493
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,954
- We didn't earn it.
- Doesn't matter how you get
494
00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:12,830
to the dance,
you just gotta get there.
495
00:22:12,955 --> 00:22:14,499
Yeah, and then what,
Sanguinet?
496
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:16,083
- Then--
- Huh?
497
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,795
Find that "fuck you" attitude.
498
00:22:21,964 --> 00:22:23,175
You went down to the Yanks.
499
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,468
Took 'em seven games,
but you lost.
500
00:22:25,468 --> 00:22:26,762
You're right.
501
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:28,597
Maybe you shouldn't be here.
502
00:22:29,263 --> 00:22:30,974
But you can't look
at the rearview
503
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:33,100
and the road at the same time.
504
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,605
You're the best team
in the history of the NOSHO.
505
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,147
You're record holders.
506
00:22:38,147 --> 00:22:42,109
24 wins, zero losses.
A perfect season.
507
00:22:43,986 --> 00:22:45,237
So, you've got two options.
508
00:22:45,696 --> 00:22:47,782
You could sit around,
cry about losing to the Yanks
509
00:22:47,907 --> 00:22:48,908
in the playoffs,
510
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,912
or find that "fuck you"
attitude and beat them
511
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:53,496
on the national stage.
512
00:22:55,247 --> 00:22:58,292
Shoresy, think you can find it?
513
00:23:02,004 --> 00:23:03,881
Is that
the runner-ups section?
514
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,551
We'll sit over here then.
515
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:08,595
Pretty quiet over
there for once, Shoresy.
516
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,638
All right.
- Havin' a cry?
517
00:23:10,763 --> 00:23:13,183
I get it, bud.
Life's tough. Wanna talk?
518
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:16,310
Easy, fellas.
- Where's the fuckin' barmaid?
519
00:23:16,435 --> 00:23:18,605
Yeah, send the barmaid
over to the winners section
520
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,648
when she's done
with the runner-ups.
521
00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:29,073
Runners-up.
522
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:33,912
- What?
- Runners-up!
523
00:23:34,287 --> 00:23:36,747
- What's he sayin'?
- It's runners-up.
524
00:23:36,872 --> 00:23:40,252
Not runner-ups.
Dumb fuckin' cunts.
525
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,503
Call it what you want, bud.
You're toss-ins.
526
00:23:42,628 --> 00:23:45,214
You're fuckin' extras.
- Ton o' hockey left, boys.
527
00:23:45,214 --> 00:23:46,966
Ton o' hockey left.
- Fuck you.
528
00:23:47,091 --> 00:23:48,426
- Fuck you.
- Found it.
529
00:23:48,551 --> 00:23:50,595
Shut the fuck up, Delaney,
ya fuckin' coke head.
530
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,304
- What're you gonna do?
- You've done too many
531
00:23:52,429 --> 00:23:53,764
speedballs, bud.
- Piece of shit.
532
00:23:53,764 --> 00:23:55,099
Fuck you, man.
533
00:23:55,224 --> 00:23:57,185
What's that you were saying
about respect again, Miig?
534
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:58,770
Sometimes you have
to demand it.
535
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:00,981
What're you gonna do?
You're in a sling, Goody.
536
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:03,274
- Come here and find out.
- What are you gonna do?
537
00:24:03,274 --> 00:24:04,775
You're not gonna
fuckin' do anything.
538
00:24:04,775 --> 00:24:07,070
Won't see much fighting
in this tournament, eh, Nat?
539
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:08,362
Let's fucking see it.
540
00:24:08,487 --> 00:24:10,322
Think we have a chance
of winning this thing?
541
00:24:10,447 --> 00:24:12,951
- They look ready to me.
- Less talk. Let's go.
542
00:24:13,076 --> 00:24:15,119
- Yeah, fucking dick.
- Are you gonna do something?
543
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,080
Bulldog hockey, baby.
544
00:24:17,496 --> 00:24:19,791
- Is that the Sudbury guys?
- Yeah?
545
00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:22,627
Uh-oh.
41396
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