Original subtitles

Siri! Ottawan!

Hands up, Hands up, Hands up

Gimme your heart, Gimme, gimme your heart, gimme, gimme

Hands up, Hands up, Hands up

Gimme your heart, Gimme, gimme your heart, gimme, gimme

Gimme

Gimme

I saw you, I followed you

Observed you, analysed you

I found out The love of my life is you

I'd seen you around for a long time

You didn't know When you were spying on me

That every night I dream of you Lying next to me

Hands up, Hands up, Hands up Gimme your...

THE TURTLES

Seriously, can't you do that at another time?

He's at home all the time. I can't take it anymore.

I thought we'd do things together, not stay cooped up at home.

How much for the records?

Fifteen euros.

Did you mix 'new beat'?

I've done so many things in my life.

Remember the rule of the second-hand dealer

to never sell personal items?

I don't have kids.

I prefer to have money on my account.

It's a good time to liquidate.

Why did you stop all this?

With his police job,

it was impossible.

I'll never get why some make so many sacrifices

to be with someone.

He's handsome.

Yes.

HI! SEX OR LOVE DATE?

BOTH. PHOTOS?

NO PHOTOS. SORRY.

Dinner's ready!

Enjoy.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

How is Mister Grumpy?

Is he still so annoying?

It's probably a tough time.

A cup of tea?

I know.

Boiling water on the tea bag, no tea bag in the water.

Disco ball.

Relax, I'll get two cups of tea.

Leave me alone.

I don't need to be entertained! You burden me! You suffocate me!

You don't get who I am! I feel more lonely than if I were alone.

Let me live, damn it!

And let me feel at home in my home!

Your home...

Hello. - Hello.

That will be one euro for the big pool.

Three euros.

Adult, not senior.

Here you are. - Thank you.

Hello. - Hello.

Ah fuck!

Have you got a hundred quid?

Don't mind him.

Oh no, not you two!

I am a cuckold.

Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold!

Didn't you have an open relationship?

No.

I hope you're not trying to get him back by divorcing him, are you?

It'll bring you bad luck, you know?

Honestly, put that away.

Divorce Procedure

And this.

You are mad!

The good news is that he loves you.

No, I promise.

Who do we say 'thank you' to?

Thank you, Uncle Henri.

Reminds you of our missions in the old days, right?

No, we won't go to the kennels.

Come on, Sherlock.

Here we go.

Here we are.

Are you happy?

This is your home now.

Sherlock?

No, come on... Sherlock?

What's that?

What's that, Sherlock?

What is it? Show me.

Well done, Sherlock! You've found weed!

Papa is proud of you.

I'll give you a guided tour of the house.

So this is the loo,

but you'll pee and poop outside, right?

Be neat, OK?

Come on!

This is the bathroom, the place where we get all dressed up.

You see?

Can you give Papa a kiss?

Give Papa a kiss, give Papa a kiss.

A big kiss.

You're so nice!

What a nice animal! What a beautiful dog!

Please, shut up.

Good.

Ssh. Sherlock!

IF THE DOG STAYS HERE,

I'LL ONLY HAVE A FEW DAYS TO LIVE.

YOU ARE FREE TO LEAVE WHENEVER YOU WANT.

You're overreacting.

I could have been a dog handler if I hadn't met you.

I'm sick of making sacrifices.

Have you got anything to eat for Sherlock?

So Sherlock, you're happy?

Are you happy with your new basket?

Is it comfortable enough?

Yes, it's a cosy basket.

Here,

do you want to play with the bone?

And the commission, how much?

3.6 per cent, VAT included.

Is it negotiable? - Yes, that's always possible.

It will all be cleared out to start the visits.

Yes, I hope so.

Hello.

At first sight, the restaurant business is where I'd get most for a sell-off.

Can I see the back?

Unfortunately, I signed the papers, so I can do whatever I want.

We promised Leo we'd stay together here and keep the turtles.

You didn't keep your promise. You're out of here.

I'll leave you two alone.

No, wait, don't!

If you get a good price, you can put up a sign immediately.

No Sherlock, you're not going to the dentist with Papa.

You're staying here.

Yeah, I'll miss you too...

I'll bring you back a present. I promise.

Have you seen Sherlock?

Are you sure you haven't seen my dog?

YOUR DOG IS IN FRONT OF YOU.

Where is Sherlock?

You only think about yourself.

That dog made me happy.

Where's Sherlock?

Where's Sherlock?

Where is he?

Turvy,

come.

The nice dog has come back!

The nice dog has come back!

Are you coming back home?

So we have mainly a dispute about the marital home.

Mr Lanssens demands Mr Halford to leave the house at once

so that he can sell his property.

However, Mr Halford refuses to leave the house.

Is that right? - Absolutely, Your Honour.

Could you explain to me how this came about?

Because there's no more love, Your Honour. It's as simple as that.

There's no love left on your side? - On both sides, Your Honour.

And you?

Is there no more love from your point of view?

If I may say so, Your Honour, love is not the issue here.

My client has facts to reproach his spouse with.

This request for divorce is, for him, a real call for help,

reaching out to the Belgian justice system.

He is aware of the consequences this divorce could entail.

Your Honour, my client is also suffering from the actions of Mr Halford

who, as you can see from the file, is a notorious drug addict.

I smoke weed!

I am not a drug addict!

It's obvious my client has to deal with a series of problems

linked to a mental health that is sometimes fragile, I grant you.

But it's due to the incredible violence that my client suffers on a daily basis.

I ask you to speak in French.

You will have the chance to speak later. Carry on.

In view of the facts, we ask the court to order

Mr Henri Lanssens to leave the marital home.

Because my client has no income whatsoever,

he cannot live anywhere else

and wouldn't be able to pay rent, even temporarily.

One can always say anything. Nothing establishes those facts.

Look at the deplorable state of my client.

And all this for what?

All this is because Mr Lanssens became infatuated with a dog

that he brought back to the marital home

with the sole aim of weakening the health of my client,

who is particularly allergic to dogs.

And what about this animal?

It's not against him, Your Honour. I'm doing it for me.

It's not violent at all.

Take me for example. I'm allergic to nuts.

If you make me eat a nut, you put my life in danger.

Isn't there somewhere you can go to have some distance?

Any family?

I've got nowhere to go. I'll be on the streets.

Any friends?

I came to Brussels for love.

I sacrificed everything.

Job, family, friendship...

You had no friends, what are you talking about?

Your parents wanted you dead for ever!

Have you made no plans to continue living

on your own, with some independence?

Henri is my family.

We lived together for 30 years.

He insisted that we get married.

I didn't think about myself. I always thought about us.

Really...

Marriage was something serious for me...

For me too.

Could you try to find a place to go to, given the circumstances?

No, I can't take it anymore, I've had enough!

I've already tried for far too long!

Put yourself in my shoes. I'll have to decide.

What do you want me to do with this gentleman here?

Don't you see he is putting on a show?

Does he have a fortune hidden away somewhere?

No.

You have friends, don't you?

Friends? I don't know.

Like anyone else...

Well.

I allow Mr Thom Halford to stay in the marital home,

and I ask Mr Henri Lanssens

to leave the home as soon as possible.

For the rest, we will meet again in three months.

Do you realise that you are evicting me from my own home?

Whether you like it or not, it's also your future ex-husband's home.

Come on, Turvy.

Let's leave Topsy alone.

Thank you.

Sherlock, come on.

Airbnb is a disaster right now.

So you make yourself at home and take the time you need, OK?

Don't tell me that, you'll regret it. - We're serious.

Make yourself at home, really.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Give me the same.

Good evening!

Good evening!

Good evening!

Attention, attention!

According to tradition,

only gays can laugh.

So, gay, gay...

Gayer than me, and you're dead.

Another gay...

But first,

before the old fashioned fag jokes,

I'd like to welcome a returnee.

A big-hearted police chief

who stole one of my girls.

But don't worry,

I was a bridesmaid at their wedding.

Here's a special dedication with a police joke...

What is the difference

between laundry detergent and a police station?

In the laundry detergent, there's at least one active agent.

My darling,

it's been for ever.

Tommie's all right, I hope?

What's going on?

Oh no.

Oh no, not you two!

Don't do this to me!

Didn't he tell you?

What do you mean?

For 15 years he's been crossing the sidewalks when he sees me.

What?

I assure you!

He doesn't want to know anything. Nothing at all!

Are you all right?

He told me he came to see you some nights when I was on a mission.

Never in a million years!

He hasn't been back here since... Oh my!?

Since I lost my memory!

Surprise!

Happy birthday! - Thank you!

Tell me you're alone at home When the sun goes down

That you see me smile That you hear me think of you

That the memory Of our two naked bodies touching

Makes you still feel close to me

That the separation Though necessary

Is only a break to give reason

For both of us To understand the mysteries

That unite two passionate beings

And I keep telling myself Like a little prayer

That our love will be The most beautiful home.

It's my only day off, damn it!

Is Henri here?

Look, he's not ready. It's too early.

I'll see what I can do.

He's downstairs.

Won't you talk to him?

Just for a minute. - No, no, no...

He said you took the wrong turtle.

Bullshit.

Take it back to him and say you switched it.

OK.

Henri apologises.

He got confused in his haste.

I know that I should just shut up

Let a few more seasons go by

But what's the point of waiting For the sad anniversary

Of this strange and bitter sweet parting

I finally told my heart to shut up

And since then I've been trying To love other boys

But none of them can please me

Despite the great beauty of their songs

And I keep telling myself Like a little prayer

That our love will be The most beautiful home

And I keep telling myself Like a little prayer

That our love will be The most beautiful home.

Are you OK?

Look, I'll give you ten minutes next weekend.

But please add some happy songs.

Yes.

It depends. Per week?

A few coffees, one or two blowjobs, and then real love one day.

WANNA HAVE A BLIND DATE?

HOW DO YOU IMAGINE THAT?

BRING A SCARF.

WHAT'S THE ADDRESS?

Thirty euros for two hours.

Hello, Officer.

You're fucking mad!

Sit down. Sit down!

Breathe. I'm here.

Breathe.

Are you family?

He is my husband.

The respiratory distress was severe. The lungs have suffered.

I'll leave you two.

I'm sorry.

I never meant you any harm,

on the contrary.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know when I last told you 'I love you'.

Did I ever say it?

I don't remember.

You think that's normal?

'I love you'. When was that?

I love you.

You are magnificent, you know?

You look 10 years younger than your age.

And you're funny,

full of energy,

you're charming and sassy.

You have to stop.

You deserve so much better.

You deserve it so much that I'm sure you'll get it.

Your Honour.

Your Honour.

Your Honour.

If he is not present, shall we postpone?

No, Your Honour, I'm sure he'll arrive!

You who didn't want to see him again.

He's coming.

You Honour, I don't want to live in this house anymore.

Your Honour, if I may... - Your Honour,

of course my husband can stay.

As for the dog, Sherlock will soon have a new master.

I'm ready to give up the sale. I'm not going to argue the point.

I was in this house for love.

There's no more love, so there's no reason for me to be there.

If I were you, I would reconsider the offer.

No. I don't want to.

Your Honour, this house belongs to my husband too.

The marriage gives him rights. Don't let him make this mistake.

This is topsy-turvy.

Grant the divorce,

and that's fine.

Stop messing about.

I can't let you do this.

I really can't...

I really can't. Really.

Nothing makes sense anymore...

I would have never lasted without you.

It was...

it was to protect myself... to protect you...

I couldn't do otherwise...

I couldn't do this job without...

It's like a suit of armour... It comes on day by day.

Now I have nothing...

I have nothing but you.

All right, gentlemen. Do you still want a divorce?

Yes. - No.

Excuse me, but I must repeat my question.

Do you want a divorce, yes or no?

Yes. - No.

Well, yes.

Are you sure?

No. - Yes.

All right, yes.

Good.

I hereby grant the divorce between Mr Thom Halford

and Mr Henri Lanssens.

Subtitles: Babel Central