Original subtitles

("Alfred Hitchcock" theme music)

- Good evening.

Fellow citizens, I am now about to launch another campaign.

My party chose this as their platform.

It is a very practical party.

I have always thought it was much more dignified

to stand for a seat than to run for an office.

But if it is necessary to run,

then I say be as comfortable as possible.

By the way, I'm not looking for an honest man.

That would be rather absurd on a political campaign.

In order to conserve funds, I'm also doubling as brake man.

(steam whistle toots)

During my absence, our players will present Water's Edge,

a story which is as far removed from politics

as one could get.

It begins in a prison.

It concerns thieves and murderers, but most of all

it concerns an uncontrollable lust for money.

And money reminds me of this next item.

(dramatic music)

(Mike coughing)

- [Guard] You okay, Krause?

- I'm all right.

(Mike coughing)

- Mike?

- [Mike] Yeah.

- [Rusty] You ought to see a doc about that cough.

- I'm okay, I don't need no doctor.

- [Rusty] You hear from Helen?

- She's over in Haynesville.

Got a job as a waitress.

- That's a great girl.

10 years is a lot of time for a dame to wait for a guy.

- She'll wait.

She'll wait, Rusty.

- Can't figure you out, Mike.

You look like an honest John.

Never figure you to pull off a heist

and knock off your best friend.

- Will you forget it?

You keep playing that record.

Now will you forget it, Rusty?

(Mike coughing)

- Mike.

- Yeah.

- Tell me about Helen again.

- Helen, she had long, blonde, soft hair.

And her legs.

She had the greatest pair of legs you've ever seen.

There was a lake two or three miles out of Norton Center.

We used to go out there in the summertime.

Helen would swim.

Oh, she loved to swim in that lake.

In the summer, she'd get all brown.

She was beautiful.

Rusty, she was the best-lookin' doll

I ever saw in my whole life.

Sometimes I'd get two or three bottles of beer.

We'd go out to the lake.

The moon would be up.

Pine needles all soft.

Just the two of us.

Couldn't hear anything around.

Maybe hear a bird.

Sometimes a cowbell jingling.

You hear me, Rusty?

I'll tell you there's nothing in the world

like having a good, lovin' woman.

- [Guard] All right, you guys, knock it off.

- Hey, Ed.

- Bed six over in the corner.

- Yeah, I can see that.

What is it, the flu?

- Well, it was, but the doc says it's the pneumonia now.

- How is he?

- He might make it, he might not, depends.

- [Rusty] On what?

- The big guy.

(Mike coughing)

- It's Rusty, Mike.

- Hiya, pal.

- How they treatin' you, boy?

- Fine, doctor's gonna fix me up real good.

- Sure, sure, you'll be out of the bag in no time.

Don't forget Helen's waitin' for you.

- Yeah, sure.

- Listen, she's been waitin' out there faithfully for you.

A dame like that deserves a break.

She's the one that ought to inherit the money, Mike.

- I don't know anything about that money.

- Look, it's 56 Gs.

You don't want it to disappear, do you?

- [Mike] Huh?

- The 56 grand, where is it?

I'll tell Helen.

- Helen?

- She's waited two years.

The money won't do nobody no good where it is now.

- I ain't gonna die.

- [Rusty] Listen, it ain't the flu, it's the pneumonia.

- No, no, it ain't, no

- Don't be stupid, you're gonna croak.

You want Helen to remember you, don't you?

- I'm gonna get better.

I'll do my time, I'll get out.

- [Rusty] On a stretcher with a cork.

It's a big six, Mike.

- I tell you I don't know anything about that money.

- Now don't kid me, kid.

After you pulled that holdup, you stashed that dough.

Now where is it?

- Never, never find it.

Never find it.

- Why, why won't they find it?

- Because-- - Yeah?

- Because, because Pete Taylor's still got the money.

(Mike coughing)

- What do you mean Pete Taylor's still got the money?

You told me that they couldn't find the body.

(dramatic music)

Hey, Mike.

Hey, Ed.

- Yeah?

- I think he's passed out.

- Hey, you better scram, I'll call the doctor.

- Yeah.

Hey, anything like that live around here?

- [Merchant] Nah.

- Where's a guy get a bite to eat in this town?

- Oh, there are a couple of places on Main Street.

There's Marie's, that's a chili parlor.

Al's Lunch, Bright Spot.

- The Bright Spot, huh?

Grub all right there?

- Oh, it ain't bad.

- [Rusty] Where do you eat?

- Home.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat jazzy music)

(dishes clattering)

- [Waitress] Yours, Mister.

- Java.

- [Waitress] Anything with it?

- Nope.

- [Waitress] The booths are for dinner.

- All right, bring me a menu and gimme a coffee.

I'm looking for a Mrs. Helen Krause.

- I'm Helen Krause.

- No, what I mean is I'm looking for a Helen Krause

used to live in Norton Center.

- I used to live over in Norton Center.

- This girl was married to a guy named Mike.

- That's me.

What's this all about?

- I got a message from your husband.

- Mike's dead.

- Yeah, I know, I was with him when he died.

- He died in jail.

- [Rusty] That's right, we were cellmates for two years.

- That so?

- Yeah, my name is Rusty Connors.

- [Helen] Rusty Connors, okay, what's the message?

- Well, look we can't talk here.

What time do you get off?

- 7:30.

- [Rusty] All right, I'll meet you outside the joint.

- Huh uh, there's an old bandstand out at the edge of town.

Meet me there.

- Fine.

- You better order something, the boss is looking.

- Well, what's on the dinner?

- Chicken fried steak.

- Fine, gimme the dinner.

- [Helen] Soup or salad?

- Soup.

(dramatic music)

(Helen shouts)

Cigarette?

- You scared me.

- That's right, I forgot you don't smoke.

Mike told me.

Mike told me a lot of things about you, Helen.

You know how it is in stir, three walls, iron bars.

If you don't talk, you go nuts.

I used to envy Mike a lot.

I had nobody outside waiting for me.

Did Mike ever talk to you about me?

I mean, did he ever write you about me?

- Yeah.

- [Rusty] He was okay.

- He said you was the best friend he had.

- Oh, Mike was a great guy in my book, A-one.

He didn't deserve to be stuck in a lousy hole like that.

- He said the same thing about you.

- Yeah, well it's the system.

You can't beat the rap without dough, you know?

You take me, I was just a kid.

I spent four years in the Navy.

I was waiting around till my pay ran out.

Then a guy offers me a job in a bookie joint.

One night, they raid the place.

I get handed this suitcase full of dough, you know,

the day's take, and I get told to beat it out the back way.

There's this copper standing there with a gun,

so I swing the suitcase.

I mean, I didn't mean to hurt him.

I never pulled no strong arm stuff in my life.

Anyway, the copper winds up with a skull fracture,

so you know.

- Sounds like you got a tough deal.

- Yeah, well so did Mike.

I couldn't figure him out at first.

He looked like an honest John.

Lunchbox in the morning,

Thursday night at the bowling alley type.

You'd never figure Mike to pull a heist

and knock off his best friend.

They never did find Pete Taylor's body, did they?

- No.

- I bet they looked.

- They looked, yeah, they looked.

For a whole year they looked.

- Must have been a rough couple of years on you, huh baby?

- Pretty rough.

- Mike always said he was framed.

The DA never proved nothin'.

- The DA never proved nothin'.

Somebody said they saw Mike pick up Pete

in a parking lot outside the bank.

He had the payroll money with him.

His car wouldn't start,

so they said Mike drove off with him.

Nobody ever saw Pete Taylor again or the money.

Cops found bloodstains in Mike's car later,

and his rifle was missing.

That's the evidence.

I swore in court that he spent the whole afternoon with me,

but it didn't do no good.

He still got 10 years.

- And did two.

- [Helen] And died.

- Was Mike with you that afternoon?

- No.

(Rusty laughs)

- Then he did knock off Pete Taylor?

- I guess.

- And he never confessed where he put the body?

Never told you where he hid the dough?

- [Helen] Nope.

- $56,000.

- I saw him once before the trial.

They beat him up, but he never told 'em nothin'.

- $56,000.

- $56,000.

- And he never told you nothin'.

- [Helen] Well, what do you think?

- Well, you were his wife.

Mike was always talkin' how crazy he was about you.

- Well, you saw that hash joint where I work.

Does it look like he told me somethin'?

- Okay, supposing you did find the dough, what would you do?

Turn it over to the cops?

- What for?

They put Mike away.

They killed him.

They let him rot.

- [Rusty] I was there, they tried to save him.

- Yeah, but it was too late.

Mike paid for that money with his life.

I'm his widow, it's mine.

- Ours.

- Then he told you where he hid the money.

- Before Mike croaked, I mean before he died,

we shared things.

His secrets were mine and mine were his.

- But he did say somethin'.

- [Rusty] Enough.

- Well, what does that mean?

- I figured if I got out, I'd come here and talk to you.

We might put things together and come up with the dough.

56 grand split two ways is a lot of bread, Helen.

- Why are you cuttin' me in

if Mike told you where he hid the money?

- Well, I'm a stranger.

People might get ideas I start snoopin' around.

With your help, maybe I don't have to snoop.

With what you know and what I can remember,

we might be able to go right to it.

- Strictly business?

- Well, not strictly, Helen.

Like I said, Mike talked about you

for two years in that cell.

After a while, I got to thinkin' I knew you.

- You know me.

- Two years of Mike talkin' to me, thinkin' about you.

I was falling in love with a dame I had never seen.

I kept wantin' a dame I'd never met.

It was crazy.

(dramatic music)

Two years is a long time for a guy

who can't do nothin' but think about it.

(dramatic music)

- [Helen] Honey?

- I'm over here.

- Don't leave me alone, honey.

Nice, huh?

- What?

- [Helen] Like this.

- It's perfect.

- [Helen] Funny, you dreamin' about me and here we are.

Life's a big surprise.

- That's what it is, baby, a big surprise.

- You feel like talkin' now?

- Sure.

- [Helen] We better make some plans.

- That's what I like.

That's what I like, a practical dame.

- [Helen] Well, if we're gonna find the money.

- Well, sure, sure, let's talk.

The sooner the better.

- [Helen] I'll heat us some coffee.

- Let's start at the beginning.

You wanna know what Mike told me the day he died?

- Yeah.

- He said they'd never find the money.

He said they couldn't.

- [Helen] Why?

- Because Pete Taylor's still got it.

- Is that all?

- What do you mean?

- Is that all Mike said to you?

You mean you came all the way to Haynesville

to find me with just that?

- Honey, it's as plain as the nose on your kisser.

The money is with Pete Taylor's body.

- Never mind my nose, I can find that.

For two years, every cop in the county has been looking,

and they couldn't find Pete Taylor's body.

Oh, I might've known.

I thought you had somethin'.

I thought my luck was changin'.

- You stupid?

What are you, stupid?

We got the information.

All we gotta do now is figure where to look.

- Gee, how easy.

- Well think, will ya?

Use your head.

Where'd the cops look?

- Where didn't they look?

- Your place?

- [Helen] They tore up the house, including the basement.

- Where else?

- Well, the sheriff had 'em searching

the woods for a whole month.

All the barns, deserted farmhouses.

They even dragged the lake.

- We gotta find Pete Taylor's wife or girlfriend

if he had one.

That's what we gotta do.

- Pete was a bachelor, he didn't have a steady girl.

He had a shack out at the lake, and they tore that up.

They even ripped up the floorboards.

- All right, let's be intelligent about this thing.

Let's see now, Mike picked up Pete at the parking lot.

As I get it, you were the next person to see him, right?

- Right, at home.

- So we gotta figure out how much time passed from the time

Mike picked up Pete until the time he got home.

- About three hours.

- All right, then he couldn't have gone very far.

The body must be hidden near town.

- Yeah, well that's what the police figured.

They really did a job.

They dug the ditches, drained the quarry.

- Well, there's gotta be an answer somewhere.

Now okay, honey, let's just take another angle.

Pete Taylor and your husband were pals, right?

- Yeah.

- For a long time?

- Well, as long as Mike and me was married.

- [Rusty] They booze together, they play cards?

- No, no, Mike didn't booze.

Mostly they hunted and fished together.

Pete had his shack, like I told you, down at the lake.

- There's gotta be somethin'.

- Well, don't think I haven't tried to figure it out.

What do you think I've been doin' for two years?

Two years, there ain't no answer.

- For 56 grand, there's gotta be an answer.

Now I want you to tell me everything that happened

the day that Pete Taylor got killed.

- Why?

- Because there might be something you forgot

that's very, very important.

- Well, I been over it and over it.

Now let's see, I was home.

Mike didn't go to work that day.

He said he was gonna bum around downtown somewhere.

- Was he nervous?

Did he act funny? - No.

Oh, you mean did he plan it?

- Yeah. - No.

I think it just happened.

I think he found himself in the car with all the money,

and it just happened.

- [Rusty] That's not what the police thought.

- No, no, they said Mike planned it.

They said Mike knew it was payday,

and he always went to the bank.

They put the payroll in a little black box.

They said Mike knew it

and he was in the parking lot waiting.

- All right, all right, now Mike must've said something

to you that afternoon when he got home.

- No, no, he didn't have time.

The squad car was there in five minutes.

- That fast?

Who tipped 'em?

- I don't know, but somebody saw Pete drive off with Mike,

and they come for him.

- When's your day off?

- [Helen] Tomorrow.

- You got a car for rent joint in this town?

- Sure, but what do we need a car for?

- Because we're going out to Pete Taylor's shack

on that lake.

We're gonna find that money, baby.

Don't you worry about that.

- Sure, with a ouija board.

We'll find it tomorrow out on the water's edge and we'll

just sit down on the beach and split 28,000 bucks apiece.

- We don't have to split.

This is just a whistle stop

or as we say in television, a station break.

We shall continue our journey in just a moment.

(dramatic music)

- All right, shove over.

Is that it?

- That's Taylor's shack.

- Now gimme the flashlight.

All right, come on, let's go.

- You can see what it's like.

You couldn't hide a dead fly in there.

- All right, inside.

(furniture clattering)

- [Helen] Are you satisfied now?

- No!

When the cops came and grabbed Mike

at the house, where was he?

- [Helen] Upstairs in the bathroom.

- Uh huh, go ahead, go ahead.

- He was all muddy.

His hands, even his shoes.

- [Rusty] Well, that's somethin', isn't it?

- And I remember he was cleanin' this cut on his hand.

- What do you mean a cut?

- Yeah, a cut, it was all bloody.

I noticed it, and I said, what happened to your hand, Mike?

He was halfway up the stairs, and he stopped.

Then he said somethin' funny.

- You should've told me this before.

- He said somethin' about rats.

- What do you mean, a rat bit him?

- No, no, he just said somethin' about rats.

I couldn't make it out.

- [Rusty] The cops know about this?

- Oh sure.

The doctor testified in court he cut his hand with a razor.

They found a razor upstairs in his bathroom all bloody.

- That's a strange one.

- Yeah, but the DA said it was to make the police believe

that those bloodstains in the car seat was his.

- [Rusty] They could've been.

- Rusty?

- Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, first he talks about rats,

then he goes upstairs and he cuts his hand with a razor.

Don't you get it?

You don't get it, huh?

You don't get it, huh?

A rat did bite him, a rat did bite him.

Maybe when he was getting rid of the body.

But if anyone knew that, then they'd look for it

where there were rats.

So what does he do?

He opens the wound with the razor.

- It may be, but where does that leave us?

Do we have to search every hole in town that's got rats?

- I hope not, I hate the things.

They give me the creeps.

Used to see 'em when I was in the Navy on the docks.

Big, fat around like that.

That's it.

- What?

- You said they went fishing.

They borrowed a boat, where'd they get it?

- Well, from some people from Chicago, the Thompsons.

They live near us, they had a boat.

- Well, maybe the Thompsons know somethin'.

- OH, not a chance.

- [Rusty] You seem pretty sure about that, don't you?

- Two weeks before the robbery, they was killed

in an auto accident on their way to Chicago.

- Baby, if I'm right, it's 56 grand.

Where's the Thompson place?

(dramatic music)

(water splashing)

Cops search here?

- I don't know, I guess.

- Didn't search good enough here.

Now stand back.

(Rusty pounding)

(door creaking)

Gimme that flashlight, will you?

(rats squeaking) (Helen gasps)

What's that?

(rats squeaking)

- I was right, huh?

- Yeah, the place is full of 'em.

- Go on now, no time to start--

- There must be hundreds of them.

- Worrying about it now.

(Helen shouts)

(rat squeaks)

My foot.

God, he ran across.

See, I told you.

The police tore up everything.

(metal clanging)

(rat squeaking)

Look out.

(rats squeaking)

The boat's gone too.

There's nothin' here.

- Boy, this place gives me the creeps.

- Yeah, well you can say that again.

- Money's gotta be here somewhere.

- Well, why didn't you buy a crystal ball with that $15

the state gave you?

(rats squeaking)

- Wait here.

- What are you gonna do?

Where you goin'?

(Rusty pounding)

(rats squeaking)

(Rusty pounding)

What?

- The roof is higher than the ceiling.

There's a space up there.

- Rusty, listen.

What is it?

- Rats.

- Up there? - In there.

(rats squeaking)

There's a space in there.

There are rats in there.

- And somethin' else, Rusty.

There's somethin' else in there.

- See if you can find something that looks like a crowbar.

- Oh, is this okay?

- Yeah, yeah.

(rat squeaking)

(rats squeaking)

What are you doin'?

- Gimme that boat hook.

Gimme that.

Hold this.

(Rusty tapping)

(wood cracking)

Hold on, here, put that back.

(rat squeaking)

(Rusty pounding) (wood cracking)

(rats squeaking)

(Rusty gasps)

(dramatic music)

(rats squeaking)

- Rusty.

Hurry up.

Rusty, is anything there?

Do you see anything?

Pete, is it Pete?

- I'm coming down.

- Is the money in there?

Is this the money?

- Open it and find out.

- Oh!

(dramatic music) (rock thudding)

(blow thudding)

Your head better?

- You double-crossin' tramp.

- Now lover, you were gonna knock me off

with that rock, weren't you lover?

- Where's your glasses?

- Right there.

- I thought--

- I couldn't see without 'em?

(glass shattering)

I never did need 'em, lover.

- It was an act, and I fell for it.

- Yes, it was an act and you fell for it.

The glasses, lettin' my hair grow out,

puttin' on all this weight.

- Mike said that you were a doll.

I couldn't--

- Oh, I was a doll two years ago.

For two years, I been puttin' on this dumb slob routine.

- [Rusty] And why?

- So nobody would notice me.

And when I leave town, nobody's gonna even notice I'm gone.

That dumb slob who used to sling hash?

Don't care.

- Boy, Mike was dumb.

- Yeah, Mike was dumb.

He had a great big blonde baby doll in his house

and that's all he knew, saw, or wanted.

It wasn't the money Mike went after Pete for.

- You were two-timing him.

- Six months, pretty good, huh?

Then he began to suspect me.

I don't know who told him.

- I bet you don't.

- Well, I was gettin' kinda tired of Pete.

- And Mike went gunnin' for him.

- [Helen] Right.

- And you knew the money would be there, the payroll,

and that Mike would have to do somethin' about it, huh?

- I was just a great big dumb baby doll, lover, remember?

- Why didn't Mike tell the cops

that you were cheatin' on him?

- Because when he came home, I convinced him it wasn't true.

I didn't love anyone but my Mikey.

- How could he have believed you?

- I wiggled a little when I said it.

- Well, I don't believe you, baby.

I don't you were any blonde doll.

You're a fat slob now and you were a fat slob then.

- You shut up.

- (laughs) Kissin' you, toots, you know what it was like?

Stickin' my head in a lard can.

- You shut up, I tell you, shut up.

- The first time I walked into that hash house,

you know what I thought?

I said to myself, I couldn't believe it.

I said, that's Helen, I said.

That barrel of beef.

That thing is gonna bust the uniform.

- I disappointed you, huh?

- Disappointed me, toots, disappointed me?

I was disgusted.

Mike needed an eye doctor.

He needed a new scale.

- I was everything Mike said I was.

- Toots, you were twice as much as he said you were.

- [Helen] Listen, I put it on and I can take it off again.

- How, with a meat grinder?

- Walkin', walkin' back and forth from the bank, lover.

That's how.

You know, when you showed up, I knew why you come.

I know how creeps like you think.

And that's what you are, Connors, a creep.

- That makes two of us, two creeps.

- Listen, you know where I'd be if I was as stupid?

If I was as stupid as you and Mike?

Where Pete Taylor is now, up there with the rats.

- What are you gonna do?

- Well, first I'm gonna take a bus out of Haynesville.

And then I'm gonna stop in a small town

and I'm gonna check into a hotel.

And I'm gonna melt 30 pounds off me.

And then I'm gonna bleach my hair blonde again.

And I'm gonna buy a couple of tight dresses.

And I'm goin' back to being the old Helen Krause,

that great big blonde baby doll.

And I have 56 grand to do it with.

- They'll find you.

- No, they won't find me. (laughs)

And they won't find you either, not for a long, long time.

And when they do, maybe they won't even know who you were.

Who they gonna ask, the rats?

- You fat slob.

You tub of lard.

You fat slob!

- This will just keep you from screamin' later.

Well now, you're all dressed up for the party.

Bye, lover.

And thanks for everything

(dramatic music)

(Helen screams)

(rats squeaking)

lover, treasure hunter, pied piper.

Next week, we shall return with another story

and more campaign promises.

Until then, good night.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)