Original subtitles

("Alfred Hitchcock" theme music)

- Good evening.

Welcome to the Dead Letter Office.

I trust you have not come to mail any letters

that are still wriggling.

We now have a firm policy from which

we are not permitted to waiver.

All letters must be dead on arrival.

I don't know why this was necessary.

If any of the letters were not dead when they arrived,

they certainly would be before we finished with them.

(thunking)

(woman screams)

(thunking)

This evening we present Change of Address.

It is about a woman who has definite reservations

about the house she and her husband are renting,

doubts which are vague but very disturbing.

There is one person whose messages unfortunately

never find their way into our office.

They are all too clearly addressed.

That person is our sponsor

and an example of his work follows.

(gentle music)

(tense music)

(laughing)

- It's true.

And then I had another client

and he had a mortgage burning party

and he burned the house down.

(laughing)

I'll have the filters changed in this furnace.

I'm gonna check out the thermostat

before you move in so it won't be a hazard.

- The floor is damp.

- That's why you've got the oil burner down here.

Not like those skimpy floor heaters

you find in most of the houses up and down the area.

That's what makes this cellar

such a great feature in this place.

With this kind of equipment,

comes a cold snap, you're snug and warm.

The damp won't bother you.

(tense music)

(clattering) (screaming)

(screaming)

- Elsa!

What is it?

What happened?

- I hate this house.

I don't want to live here.

I don't want to live here.

- What happened?

- How do I know what happened?

I was standing here looking out the window

when all of the sudden it broke.

That's all.

- Had to be something.

- I don't care what it was.

I don't like the beach.

I never did.

- [Landlord] You'll see you'll get to like it.

After a couple of weeks, you wouldn't live anyplace else.

- There it is.

A seagull (chuckles).

- Sea air wrecks everything.

- Must have smashed against the window.

- Keith!

(clattering)

- Fast thinking.

Thank you.

Did you hurt yourself?

- A bit.

Here, let me have it.

It's just one of those things, Mrs. Hollands.

It'll never happen again in a million years.

- Yes, I know.

- That's right, Elsa.

It's nobody's fault.

- I hate this place.

- Why?

Just tell me why, that's all.

- It's the mirrors.

- They'll be down before you move in.

No problem.

- Did you see the kitchen?

Oh, oh, oh it's great.

And the plumbing's great.

And the floor's don't squeak.

Some paint and polish

and we'll have what you've always wanted,

our own little love nest.

Mr. Miley, you've rented yourself a house.

- I'm glad.

I know you'll both be very happy here.

- Don't I have anything to say about it?

Don't I?

- We're going to start a new life here.

Both of us.

Now, come on.

(exhales)

Tell me something, Mr. Miley.

Is this place for sale?

- The owner doesn't want to sell.

Lives up in Seattle.

Retired hardware man, name of Wilson.

Came here about four or five years ago for his health.

He and his wife had a little trouble.

She moved out.

Went to live in Texas.

- Texas, now that's the place (laughs).

- What about the Wilson?

- He keeps hoping that she'll change her mind

and come on back to him.

That's why he keeps holding onto this place.

- Sentimental.

I like that.

- Maybe he'll change his mind and sell.

I'll find out.

Meanwhile I'll have this railing repaired in the morning.

- Oh nevermind.

I'll fix it myself.

I like to do things like that.

- Good.

You can move in anytime after tomorrow.

Bye.

(tense music)

- What's out there, Keith?

- What?

- What are you looking for?

- A new life, baby.

For you and me.

- Take me away from here.

- Oh.

- It's the sand, the rocks, and the sea.

It's like the edge of the world.

There's such a sadness to it, Keith.

That sound, the sea, it's so mournful, so lost and lonely.

Like death.

- (laughs) Oh baby.

(tense music)

Elsa?

Elsa!

- I can't hear you.

- Come up.

Isn't it great, honey?

- Is that what you were yelling about?

- Yeah, I wanted you to come up and share it with me.

- All right, Keith.

Whatever you say.

Keith?

- Hmm?

- Where were you?

I was waiting for you there on the beach.

I thought you'd come.

- Did you miss me, honey?

- Where were you?

- Down the cellar trying to figure out something

about the damp and cold, when it gets damp and cold.

All for you.

- Oh?

- I know how the cold sticks to your bones, honey,

but I'll figure out something.

Cement, drainage, I'll figure out something.

Fix up the weak spots,

do a little remodeling here and there,

and you know what we've got ourselves?

We've got our own little castle by the sea.

- I don't want our own little castle by the sea.

- (chuckles) You're still new here.

You'll want it.

- Let's go home, Keith.

Now.

- Honey, we just got here.

Besides, I signed the lease.

Look, I want to buy that place.

I've talked to Miley about making a deal.

- Makes you feel young to be here, doesn't it?

- And I think I ...

Huh?

What did you say?

- Anyway, younger.

- It's all yours, baby.

It'll do you good.

The sun to keep you warm

and the sea air for that busted hip of yours.

- I'm all mended now, Keith.

You don't have to repair me.

- You might feel okay,

but bones take longer to knit at your age.

Longer than you might think.

Besides, there's no better place than right here

to tend to your knitting.

- If it weren't for you,

I wouldn't have had a busted hip, honey.

- So I had you take a slope before you were ready.

- Goaded me into it.

- I figured you had it made.

You're so graceful, so coordinated.

You know, I take pride in you, Elsa.

When I first laid eyes on you,

what went through my mind was that coordination.

Oh, that body coordination.

- I once heard of a man who was thin

and when asked how he stayed thin,

the thin man said, "I think thin."

That's what he said.

Is that how you plan to keep the years away, Keith?

Think of a way, think young?

Is that the motto on your wall?

- You know what you are, honey?

You're a nut.

You're my own private little nut

in my own private little castle by the sea (laughs).

- Did you tell little what's-her-name

you were going to be here?

- Huh?

Tell who what?

- You know.

Little what's-her-name.

I think they call her a typist.

- We've got them things running

around underfoot by the dozen.

- But not like this little thing, huh?

Not like little what's-her-name.

- You're gonna like it here.

I promise you.

You're gonna love it here.

(dramatic music)

Come here.

Just come here.

(laughs)

(tense music)

Don't cry, honey.

I'll fix it.

Don't cry.

(upbeat music)

(chattering)

(romantic music)

Thanks, sweetie.

- Will you stop for a minute?

- What can I do for you?

- You're really going to do it?

- Yes, I really am.

I'm gonna stay right here.

We're gonna stay right here.

You know what?

I don't understand you.

What did you buy the cement for

if we're not gonna stay in the house?

What am I paving the cellar for?

The next tenant?

- I bought the cement

because you told me to buy the cement.

- Mr. Miley told me the owner always wanted

to pave the cellar and he said if I've paved it

he'd deduct it from the rent.

Besides, it's good exercise.

It's bending, moving around.

- If paving the cellar's what you want

then pave it, but I want to get out.

- Honey.

- There's something wrong with this house.

I lie awake at night and I can feel it.

- That's right.

It's damp.

Now look, I'm gonna dig a drainage ditch,

then I'm gonna pave--

- There is something wrong with this house.

Something we don't know about.

Keith, let's find an excuse to break the lease.

All right, I'll do it.

And you know how?

I'll write the owner's wife.

What's his name?

- [Keith] Wilson.

- Wilson.

I'll write Mrs. Wilson

and I'll find out about this house

and if there is something we don't know about

it'll be an excuse to break the lease.

- You know what you oughta do?

Get out on the beach.

Get out in the sun.

Take a swim.

Relax.

Honey, what makes you so nervous, huh?

Go ahead, take a swim.

The surf is marvelous today.

- All right, but I am going to write Mrs. Wilson.

- You go right ahead.

(tense music)

- [Elsa] Anybody home?

Keith?

Hey, where are you?

- Down here in the cellar.

- Hi.

So you've started.

Want some lunch?

How come?

- I was gonna take a little ride.

- Where?

- [Keith] Just feel like taking a little ride, that's all.

- Want me to go along?

- How was the swim?

- [Elsa] Chilly.

- I saw you talking to someone.

- Pretty girl.

We chatted.

- About what?

- Woman talk.

- That's good.

You met a friend.

- We just chatted for a bit, that's all.

- Well, I'm gonna wash up and take that ride.

- Okay, dear.

Have fun.

(tense music)

- Hello there, Mr. Hollands.

Have a seat.

How do you like the house?

- I still love it.

It's great.

- Your wife still doesn't.

- How do you know?

- I just had a call from her.

Reba, didn't I get to have a call from Mrs. Hollands.

(Reba giggles) Reba could hear her yelling

at me over there.

- Yelling about what?

- She wanted Mrs. Wilson's address.

You know, Mrs. Wilson, the owner's wife.

When I told her I didn't have it, Reba ...

(giggles)

You should have heard her, Mr. Hollands,

telling me what I don't know about running

a real estate office.

What can I do for you?

- I want to buy that house.

- It's a lovely house.

- And I told you I wanted to buy it

when I first moved in.

Now what have you done about it?

- I've been in touch with Mr. Wilson all the time.

I told him you wanted to buy his house

as per your instructions.

- And Mr. Miley, what was Mr. Wilson's reaction to that?

- I'm awaiting his pleasure.

- [Keith] That's what you're doing now, huh?

- Yes, sir.

- Well, get on the phone

and tell Mr. Wilson I'm waiting too.

- Owning that house is getting

to be quite a thing with you, isn't it?

- That's right.

The sooner the better.

- I'll be in touch.

- Make sure of it.

- Quite a pair, Reba, that Mr. and Mrs. Hollands.

(laughing)

(Keith sighs)

- Keith?

- Hmm?

- That's a big hole.

- Uh huh.

- What do you need such a big one for?

- Who's the one who's always complaining

about the damp, you or me?

- And that big hole's gonna fix it, huh?

- Uh huh.

- [Elsa] How?

- Look, honey.

It's basic.

It's got to do with hydraulics and physics,

the principles of drainage.

You wouldn't understand.

- Keith, let me ask you something.

Do you think you're ever going to give up

being a 20-year old, trying to be?

- What are you talking about?

- Have you been behaving?

- Listen, you know what you oughta do?

Let sleeping dogs lie.

That oughta be your motto.

Let sleeping--

- I was just asking a question.

That's all.

- I've been behaving.

- No more running around after pretty young things?

No more trying to prove?

Oh Keith, everybody gets older.

Why so frantic?

Why?

- You're in the way.

- [Elsa] Yeah, I know.

- You know, I've got to tell you something, Elsa.

Right to your face.

Sometimes you get on my nerves.

- Yes, I know.

- It's got to stop.

Take my word for it.

(tense music)

- It is now time to forward you to our substations,

but I shall clearly stamp you to be returned

in a few moments.

(thunking)

(upbeat music)

- Having fun, young man?

- Yep.

At 3,500 RPM, those stars really fly by.

Don't they, honey?

You should have stuck your head out

of the window and noticed.

- Where are we?

- We're here.

That's where we are.

We're here.

Now come on, baby.

- Where are we?

- There's music and dancing and wine in there, honey.

It's the scene.

It's great for mending hips.

Now come on.

- I thought we were going

to have some Chinese food

and then a movie.

- Well, I didn't say anything about an early dinner, did I?

Look, we'll have fun for an hour

and then we'll have dinner.

Are you coming with me or do I go in alone?

- Not alone, Keith.

Never alone.

(upbeat music)

- You ever seen anything like this?

You believe it?

- No.

(upbeat music)

There's the girl I saw at the beach.

She's lovely.

- What I want, what I really want,

what I'm sure as sitting here want, oh.

- Keith?

- Yeah, baby.

- It may be, it just very well may be I want the same thing.

- What are you talking about, baby?

- What you were talking about.

How we rid ourselves of each other and when.

Me of you and you of me.

Especially the latter.

- Sometimes you make my blood boil, baby.

Don't push it, not now.

I'm having fun.

- Look at me when I talk to you.

- I'm looking.

- Wipe that smirk off your face.

Where'd you learn it?

Watching teenagers at play?

The comic strips?

Where?

Wipe it off.

Doesn't become you, Keith.

Not at your age.

- Little old lady lived in a shoe.

Had so many traumas she didn't know what to do.

And a hey, and a hey, and a hey, and a--

(sharp slapping)

You're showing your age, baby.

The next think you know they'll be asking you

for your ID card.

- Take me home.

- Sure, after this.

After dinner, after the movies.

Then I'll take you home.

- I mean home.

- Oh, you mean that dainty, cozy,

old folks at home apartment in Philadelphia?

(laughs) You've got to be kidding.

- Do you understand?

Can you understand I loathe it here?

I loathe that house

and the beach and the way you're acting and with me.

- Wipe the tears out of your eyes, baby.

They make me look cruel, inconsiderate,

like no gentleman.

- I loved you.

- You will again when all those worry wrinkles

are gone around your eyes.

Is that one worry or is it the finger of time?

Which, Elsa?

(chattering)

- Give me the key.

- Going to dinner?

- Come with me?

- Oh no, no (laughs).

(upbeat music)

Elsa, you wanted the keys.

Here, have fun.

Have a real ball and don't worry about me.

I'll get home somehow.

(upbeat music)

(tense music)

- [Keith] Honey?

You hear me?

Elsa, why don't you come down

and see what I've done?

I've worked hard, honey.

You'll be pleased.

Come on down.

See what I've done.

Elsa!

- I'm here.

What do you want, Keith?

- How was I to know?

I thought--

- Thought what, Keith?

- I thought maybe you were on the beach

or maybe you were upstairs

and didn't want to answer me.

How do I know what I thought?

Come on down.

See what I've done.

- So you've finished?

- Yep.

Well, you really can't see it from there.

- I'm cold.

- You kidding?

Listen to the burner going.

- It's cold all over the house.

- Quite a little engineering job's

been done here, don't you think?

- Seen one, you've seen them all I always say.

- Come on, honey.

There's a lot of muscle ache

and back ache in there

and you stand there.

Don't knock it.

It's gonna keep us warm and dry.

You see, I've got it engineered so that all the water,

all the seepage will carry right down there.

- Are you proud?

I mean, are you proud you've dug the hole, Keith?

- Yeah, I am.

- I'm glad for you because you've done it

and there's a great sense of achievement in that

and now that you've done it, we can go home.

So you be a good little engineer

and fill it right back up again.

- Okay honey, I'll fill it up.

- Do that, Keith.

(dramatic music)

A for achievement.

(tense music)

(laughing)

- [Keith] I can wait.

- Hello there, Mr. Hollands.

Have a seat.

- Did you hear from Mr. Wilson yet?

- As a matter of fact I did.

Had a phone call from him last night.

That right, Reba?

In a little while I was gonna run up to your place.

- [Keith] What did he say?

- You notice that I said your place, Mr. Hollands.

- [Keith] No.

- Well, I did, and it's yours if you want it.

Mr. Wilson's agreed to sell for cash.

Seems he's got some legal trouble,

counsel fees and--

- I'll make out the check to you or to him?

- I suggest you make out the deposit to me.

It'll be placed in escrow

pending final decision of the deal.

- $5,000 okay?

- Reba, would you give Mr. Hollands a pen?

In a little while when the forms are made out,

I'll run them up to your house

and you and the missus can sign them.

- It'll be in my name.

The missus left me.

- Oh?

- Yes, got down on my knees trying

to keep her here, but she wouldn't have any part of it.

So Elsa left me.

We had quite an argument the other night.

It was pretty bitter.

I don't think we'll ever get together again

so I'm shipping her luggage back to Philadelphia.

- That house shakes women up quite a bit.

They don't seem to like it.

- Maybe that house just doesn't like women,

huh Mr. Miley?

(laughing)

- [Mr. Miley] I'll run the papers up

as soon as Reba finishes 'em.

(tense music)

- Oh.

- Well.

- That was the start of something, baby.

- Was it?

- You'll see.

- I will?

- You know what I'm going to do with you?

I've got a plan.

- Tell me.

- I'm going to start a reading program.

I'm going to acquaint you with great literature

and great music, Mozart, The Three Bs.

We'll visit galleries, paintings.

I'm going to open windows for you

that have never been opened before.

(chuckles)

The first time I saw you,

oh maybe a month ago when I was first out here

looking at houses, the first time I saw you

I knew I had a plan for you.

All the things I've ever wanted to tell a woman,

I knew I had to tell them to you.

All the things I know.

All the beautiful things.

Books, music, and the secret way I feel about things.

I knew I had to teach them to you.

Share them.

- That's sweet.

- Kiss.

(sighs)

- Keith?

- Yeah, baby.

- What about your wife?

- Come here, baby.

You remember when I said that

was the start of something?

That's what I meant.

The end of something is always

the beginning of something else.

What has ended is my wife and me,

but what has begun is you and me.

Elsa and I quarreled.

- About what?

- About the house was damp.

- [Rachel] Was it?

- Not anymore.

That house is snug, baby.

100% snug.

You'll love it.

After a decent waiting period.

- You know what you are?

- [Keith] What?

- Wise.

(laughs)

I've been thinking about what you said.

You make me think, you know.

- About what?

- About the end of something

is always the beginning.

That's very wise.

Very, very wise.

(tense music)

- Hey, Mr. Hollands.

- Yes.

- Can I see you a minute?

I'm Sergeant Bryant out of the sheriff's office.

Officers Raymo and Felton here.

Nice day, huh?

- Yeah.

- That thing you were doing,

I'd keel over on my back.

- Something I can do for you, Sergeant?

- Yeah, yeah, there is, Mr. Hollands.

We didn't want to break in.

We don't have a warrant.

You'll let us in, won't you?

You wouldn't want to stand in the way of the law.

- Oh no, no.

Well, come on in, fellas.

What can I do for you fellas?

- This the way to the cellar?

No, that's the bedroom.

The cellar's over there.

Off the kitchen.

- Oh, thanks Mr. Hollands.

All right, boys.

You know where to dig.

(groans)

Mr. Miley said it was okay to dig.

- Sergeant?

- [Sergeant] Yeah?

- Do you want to tell me how you knew?

- Your wife.

Great head on her shoulders.

She told us.

- Elsa?

She told you?

- Yeah.

First we thought it was just her imagination.

You know how women are.

They get all worked up.

That's what we thought your wife did at first.

- I don't know what you're talking about, Sergeant?

- Didn't she tell you?

See, she tried to write Mrs. Wilson.

You know, the owner's wife.

Used to live here.

- Yeah, I know.

- Your wife couldn't find any change

of address for Mrs. Wilson down at the post office.

She was supposed to be someplace in Texas

but all her mail was being forwarded

to Mr. Wilson up in Seattle regardless.

- So no change of address.

So what?

- That's just what we said.

So what (laughs).

Boy, did your wife let us have it.

She said, "Any fool would know

"that if a woman left her husband

"she wouldn't let him get her mail, now would she?"

No, she wouldn't.

She'd get it herself.

Your wife said that proved

that Mrs. Wilson was dead,

that Mr. Wilson must have killed her

and made up a rigamarole.

(groans)

What?

Did you want to say something, Mr. Hollands?

Well, she convinced us.

I wired Seattle last night.

Police questioned Wilson.

He thought we'd already found the body

so he broke down, confessed.

Oh, he killed his wife all right.

He buried her down there in the cellar,

good and deep right next to the furnace.

I'd like to congratulate your wife.

Where is she?

- [Raymo] Hey Sergeant?

- Yeah, what do you want, Raymo?

- [Raymo] Better get down here, Sergeant.

Bring Mr. Hollands with you.

(tense music)

- The proceeding was a training film

lent to us by Husbands Anonymous,

that society of men who are determined

to learn from the mistakes of others.

I've decided to leave my position here.

It's not that it was frightening

being around all those dead letters,

but some of them had been dead much too long.

Now for another commercial followed

by a hint of things to come.

(playful music)

(triumphant music)