Original subtitles

("Alfred Hitchcock" theme music)

- Good evening.

(rattling)

How do you do?

I've just been promoted.

The office hasn't been occupied for some time

and the carpet hasn't been properly kept up.

This area near the water cooler

will have to be completely reseeded.

I see the former occupant

was partial to gentle rolling landscape.

On the other hand,

I have the feeling that this may be

the former occupant himself.

I find this quite upsetting.

They told me he had left.

To be precise they said,

he's no longer with us.

I assumed he left the normal way one does

in the business world,

by leaping out of the window.

While I contemplate this dilemma of the organization man,

I invite you to observe the machinations

of an extremely well-organized man.

It is the story of a traveling salesman

with an intriguing design for living.

And now, speaking of salesmen.

(suspenseful music)

(airplane roaring)

- Thank you.

(door closing)

(buzzing)

Mrs. Brown? - Yes.

- [Marion] Your husband asked me to look you up.

- Well have we met?

- No, no, I'm from Baltimore.

- [Bernice] But Robert never mentioned anybody

was coming by.

- Oh well he should have.

I've flown in just to see you.

- No, not a word.

Oh, honestly I do know him.

He works for the cosmetics firm.

I even know he's comin' home tomorrow.

- Oh well I didn't doubt you.

- Of course.

If anyone came to my door

with the kind of information I just gave you,

I'd be pretty wary too.

- Well I'm sorry, please come in.

- [Marion] Thank you.

- Oh forgive this place.

I'm a terrible housekeeper

when my husband isn't around.

Well, even when he is.

- It's difficult to care when your husband's gone so much.

- Oh well won't you sit down?

I didn't even ask your name.

- Mrs. Brown. - Mrs. Brown?

- Mrs. Raymond Brown.

We're kind of related.

- Well that's reassuring to know I belong

to such a large family.

- Tremendous.

I'm just astonished at how many relatives

keep showin' up in Baltimore.

- Are you here on a pleasure trip, Mrs. Brown?

Oh, that sounds like I'm talking to myself.

My name is Marion. - Bernice.

- Well, it's sort of on business for all of us.

But, your husband said that for any big investment,

both of you have to agree.

- Oh no, not always.

- I mean, since the money is really yours.

- He told you that?

- Well it's true isn't it?

- Well in a way.

When we were married he needed some extra money

and I had some.

But then, husbands and wives share don't they?

- Oh yes,

always, everything.

- You say that so pointedly.

- My dear, the Browns are famous for gettin' to the point.

- You're not related are you?

There's something in back of this Mrs. Brown.

What is it?

You're not remotely related to my husband.

- That's right.

It's more than remotely.

- I don't understand.

- I'm related directly to your husband.

- [Bernice] How?

- By a previous marriage.

- You're his ex-wife?

- His present wife.

He's my husband too.

- You're lying.

- No you just look at this.

There now.

It's my marriage certificate

and a photograph of us on our honeymoon.

- How could he?

How could he?

- By bein' selfish.

- He was kind.

- He married both of us.

There may be others.

- He loved me.

- I know it hurts,

but you must realize what he is.

- [Bernice] How can you be so unemotional about it?

- I've had my tears.

- [Bernice] What do you intend to do?

- Have my marriage annulled if you do.

- [Bernice] And then?

- Send him to prison.

I need a drink.

- So vindictive toward someone you love.

So vengeful.

- I will not forgive him.

Now we can help each other.

We can strengthen each other you and I.

Could I have a drink please?

With ice.

- Oh yes, yes.

I need one too.

Scotch, I'll get some ice.

(suspenseful music)

- Have any soda?

- I think so.

(liquid babbling)

(tissue rustling)

- Nevermind the soda.

I'm so nervous I just want it straight

with a little ice.

(ice clinking)

- I don't know what I'll say to him tomorrow morning.

- I'm flyin' back to Baltimore.

You just let me handle it.

You are a beautiful woman, Bernice.

You'll have no trouble at all findin' a new husband.

But a woman my age,

now I would have a problem.

(Bernice grunting and collapsing)

(airplane roaring)

(door closing)

- What a beautiful morning, darling.

- Oh, I love you.

- And I love you.

- Look out, you'll make me dizzy.

I like the way you make me dizzy.

- I better hurry.

- Could only find a job for you here in Baltimore.

- Once a traveling man,

always a traveling man.

- I shouldn't ask for that.

I'm not bein' fair.

- You're always fair darling.

You're more than fair.

You're understanding.

You're considerate.

You never complain.

- 40 year old women are great then.

- In Europe,

40 year old women are considered just coming into their own.

The beautiful age.

- You do love me? - Devotedly.

- You think about me when you're gone?

- Always.

- When you're not busy you mean.

- Well come on, honey, what is it?

This isn't like you?

- But in Europe.

- What's in Europe?

- That attitude toward 40 year old women.

- I'm a man with European ideas.

And if business keeps getting better,

we might take a trip there soon.

- Really, honest?

- I'll be back in exactly 12 days.

- You'll call me from each city?

- Don't I always?

- Each one.

Newark, then Hartford, then Boston.

- I'm the phone company's favorite.

Now let's see.

We discussed getting the car fixed,

the doctor's bill.

(fingers snapping)

Home three days and I haven't even seen

the way they finished the new fuel tank in the basement.

- Oh they didn't finish.

(light rattling)

- [Raymond] Why not?

- [Marion] I've forgotten to call them.

- [Raymond] But they promised.

- Didn't want to do it without your bein' here.

- I was here three days.

- They couldn't make it then.

- Well it certainly won't decay.

I'll phone 'em to come out.

We gotta get this larger tank in by winter.

- If anything goes wrong, you'll blame me.

- Am I such an ogre?

- It's just that I want you here all the time, always.

(grunting and tumbling)

(sinister music)

- Take your hand off that handle.

Take it off.

- What handle?

- Take it off,

you'll drop the tank.

There's gotta be an easier way to keep a house warm.

- See, I do bungle everything.

- Well it could have been worse if you'd pulled that lever.

- Wait til you get back.

- Yeah, I guess you'd better.

- Stay here.

- You mean not go out to work at all?

- I have an awful feelin', somethin' I don't know.

- Just because of this little accident.

I have to go.

There's a man waitin' to meet me in Newark in three hours.

(sinister orchestral music)

(door opening and closing)

- Morning Mr. Brown.

- Good morning, Mr. Bleeker.

- You almost hit a daily double.

- Well I'm satisfied with my winnings

at the track as they are.

- Any instructions?

- Yes, I want to add another 2,000

to that bet I made in Boston.

And I want you to meet me there.

- Usual place?

- Oh yes indeed.

I'm a creature of habit.

- Mind if I ask you a question?

- Well that depends.

- Nothing about your work or what business you're in.

If you want to hire me to make bets for you, okay.

That's your business.

I need some personal advice.

- That also depends.

- You married?

- I sure am. - Happy?

- Ecstatic.

Sometimes so happy I can't stand it.

- You know, this is my third time out.

I got two kids you know.

You got kids?

- It's getting late.

- I could have married a very nice widow this last time.

Showgirl I know.

She was loaded.

But she didn't appeal.

I married this one.

Younger than me, but with appeal.

Not money, appeal, beautiful.

But now we fight all the time.

She was nuts about me, why?

- You think you must marry for love or money

when you could just as easily marry for love and money.

(suspenseful music)

- [Storber] Get the neighborhood nice and...

- Oh, no, no.

It can't be.

She's dead.

My wife is dead.

- I'm a police officer, Mr. Brown,

Lieutenant Storber.

- She can't be dead, she can't.

- Mr. Brown,

did your wife have any reason to commit suicide?

- Suicide? - Did she?

- Well that's impossible. - Why?

- It's ridiculous.

I don't mean your question.

It's perfectly logical for you to ask such a question but...

- Well then how can you be so sure?

- She bought a new cookbook,

a very expensive gourmet one.

- Yeah, we saw it laying on the table.

- That's what I mean.

- Well that's hardly proof of anything.

- Well she wanted to be an excellent cook.

- Cooks commit suicide.

- But she wanted to please me to be a good cook

because I like fine cooking.

- You told her she couldn't cook?

- No I told her anything she did was all right with me.

She was a beautiful woman, wonderful.

I loved her.

When you love a woman you forgive so much.

- Was there much to forgive?

- Well I didn't mean it that way.

- [Storber] What way?

- Stop twisting what I say.

What are you trying to imply?

- Imply, nothing.

I'm tryin' to get information,

get a picture,

a feeling about this,

about her relationships.

- Did she leave a note? - No.

- I need a drink.

- [Storber] Put that down please.

- Well what's wrong with havin' a drink?

It's my own house.

- Your wife died from cyanide in the Scotch.

A soluble cyanide powder.

- Well where could she get anything like that?

- That's what we were wondering.

Why didn't you reach for the Scotch?

- I don't drink Scotch.

- Oh, that's a good reason.

- Now can I have a drink?

- Not until we test all the liquor.

- You don't really think it was suicide do you?

- We take care of first things first.

- It smells all right.

- You know the smell of cyanide?

- Well I guess not.

But when you tell me that something is poisoned...

- You've been gone a lot, Mr. Brown.

- Travel, I represent a restaurant supply company in Boston.

- Yeah, but you've been gone half the time at least.

- How did you know?

- We talked to the neighbors.

- Are you accusing me of something?

- I don't think so.

- I loved her.

Ask the neighbors about that.

- Your wife was killed late yesterday afternoon.

Where were you?

- Ask 'em if they ever heard us fight or argue once

- Where were you, Mr. Brown?

- Baltimore.

- Can you prove it?

- I phoned her long distance.

They'd have a record.

I spoke to her about 3:00 p.m.

- Okay, you couldn't make up that one.

- I could.

But I'd be a fool to.

- You have a good mind for facts.

- Now will you please leave me alone?

- One more thing.

Was there anyone who hated your wife

for any special reason known to you?

- No, no one.

She didn't have an enemy in the world.

- There wasn't anyone who wanted her out of the way?

- No one, no one, no one.

I told you.

Now my wife is dead.

Now let me alone, please.

- Certainly.

Oh, don't leave the city unless you check with us first.

- Why store the furniture in a warehouse?

- I don't want reminders.

- You want to forget my sister

and you just buried her.

- Not forget her.

Forget the terrible circumstances of her dying.

- Well I want reminders.

She was so lonely. - I know.

- So terribly lonely.

I won't want to forget.

- It gets lonely on the road

traveling all the time too.

- She cried a lot when you were gone in this very room,

in these very chairs.

- I called her every day.

Do you want the rest of these chairs?

- Yes.

She wanted you to get a job in Newark.

- I tried.

There's a bedroom rug too.

- No, that'd have to be redyed and that's too expensive.

She just died of loneliness.

- I did everything I could.

- That's why she's dead.

Will you pay for fixing up the bedroom rug?

- All right, I'll pay for it.

- Don't you get huffy with me.

And don't get on your high horse.

She told us about your independence,

your coming and going as you please.

- Take it all, all of it.

The refrigerator,

the extra bed,

and go away.

- Because you know you killed her.

- Get out!

- Perhaps not directly.

I know you could sue me if I said it and couldn't prove it.

But you did just as surely as though

you had poured that poison.

- I envy you.

- Was your wife anything like her sister?

- Exact opposites.

Complete opposites.

- Good, otherwise you'd have had a clear motive

for killing your wife.

And that could have meant a lot of trouble for you.

Where will you be living now?

- In hotels.

I gave your assistant the names of the hotels

in Hartford and Boston.

- Just phone in.

- Yes sir.

(phone dinging)

Long distance.

I want to make a collect call to Mrs. Brown

in Hartford, Connecticut, 527-5399.

Yes, her husband.

Hello Lucille.

Yes, I'm sorry I was delayed.

A little difficulty with one business deal.

- Oh, but darling I missy you terribly.

Well not a minute longer.

Yes, yes I love you.

No, no everything's fine now that you're coming home.

(doorbell buzzing)

All right darling.

And dinner will be wonderful.

I'm preparing a real gourmet menu.

I love you, bye-bye.

Coming.

(sinister chords ringing)

- Mrs. Brown? - Yes.

- You are beautiful.

- Why thank you very much,

but who are you?

- Why did you do it, why?

- Do what?

- Why did you marry my husband?

- You're Mrs. Brown too?

- You stole my husband.

- Please don't shout in the hall.

Come inside.

- Don't scream.

- But, can't we talk this over?

I mean let's talk it over.

- If you scream, I might shoot.

And I haven't decided if I'm gonna kill you.

- But I haven't done anything wrong.

- You married him.

- Well but,

but you want his happiness don't you?

- Well I wouldn't be here if I didn't.

- Well for five years I've been a considerate wife,

and I've tried to make him happy, only him.

- How long did you say you've been married to him?

- Five years.

- I stole him from you.

- Put the gun away.

- I've only been married to him for three years.

- Please, put the gun away.

- Well now, we must talk this over

like two civilized women.

- The gun.

- Oh, oh yes of course.

(exhaling)

- I'm the husband stealer.

- Well, you didn't know.

- [Marion] Neither did you.

- Why, now why should he do such a thing?

- It isn't love when a man does that.

- But he was happy.

- Then why did he marry me?

- Well, he seemed happy.

- He pretended so much.

How could you tell?

- Tomorrow's our anniversary.

When I talked to him he was so loving,

so very loving.

- A man is what he does,

not what he says.

- He kept coming back to me.

- Every three weeks.

- You want to forgive him?

- I would if I could find a way.

- Where do you think he was during those three weeks?

- Not with you.

- [Marion] How can you be sure?

- But he always called from different cities?

- Why should I protect you?

Why should I spare your feelings.

We are not his only wives.

- Oh no.

- [Marion] Now he must be punished.

- He was considerate, so considerate.

- How much money did you have when he married you?

- Why, is that important?

- I happen to know his other wives had sums

ranging from 18,000 to 40,000.

- I was the 18,000.

- His prices went up with inflation.

Mine was the 40,000.

- What a man.

- You admire him?

- I admire any man who can get along with so many women.

- Even now, even when you know all this?

- What an amazing man.

An astounding one, a hero.

- Maybe, but he wasn't showin' the same interest.

- [Lucille] He was in me.

- Not me.

That's when I began to suspect.

Not me.

I'm turnin' gray.

I'm the oldest one.

The richest one, but the oldest one.

- Why don't you have your marriage annulled?

- Well if it becomes an annulment.

But the charge of bigamy would send him to jail.

- Then divorce him.

- You're right.

Why should I subject myself to all this agony?

And if I love him,

and I do love him,

I can't destroy him.

- I hope you mean that.

- I do absolutely.

And the other two wives will be your problem.

- Will you help me?

- Sure, why not?

- You know, you're a wonderful woman.

I wish we were friends.

- We're even related.

I do need a drink now, a strong one.

- Oh so do I.

- Okay now, this has all been a shock to you.

You just sit right back there.

I'll be happy to make the drinks.

You just tell me what to do.

- The liquor's in the kitchen

in the lower right-hand cabinet.

You know, you're a most thoughtful woman.

I'll bet you're a good cook.

- [Marion] Superb.

- No wonder he married you.

- [Marion] You want it on the rocks?

- No mix something in it.

(sinister chords ringing)

- What did you say?

- [Lucille] I said mix something in it.

- Delighted.

(airplane roaring)

(suspenseful music)

- Are you Mr. Brown?

- Was that my wife?

- Death by suicide, I'm sorry.

You are Mr. Brown?

- But she didn't kill herself.

- Well there's no evidence of anyone else

having been with her.

It's only one glass.

No other fingerprints on that bottle except your wife's.

The cyanide was in the bottle.

- She loved life too much.

She was too happy to commit suicide.

- We found the container of cyanide in her jewelry box.

- Impossible, insane.

Out of the question.

- By the way, Mr. Brown,

What were you doing while all this was happening?

(suspenseful music)

- In any office,

the most important moment is the break.

It is on television too.

For the local stations that is.

Here they come now.

Following our break,

we shall all get back to work again.

- Are you sure you want to go traveling right now?

- I have to meet customers in Boston, Newark,

places like that.

- It would look better if you stayed a few days.

- Are you ordering me to?

- No, there's nothing to book you off of, but...

- But what?

- Well I'm convinced of your story, see.

But there's some fellas at headquarters

that just double-check everything.

You know what I mean?

- I have to get to my business meetings.

- All right, but for your own good,

not mine, you understand, I'm convinced.

But call every day from whatever city you're in, okay.

- Yes sir.

(phone dinging)

Get me Marion Brown in Baltimore, Maryland.

Collect, 235-9987.

(ringing)

- Hello?

- [Raymond] Oh hello, darling.

- Well love, what a wonderful surprise.

- [Raymond] Oh I always call.

- Yes, but not this early.

It is just a little early.

- [Raymond] I've had a change in plans.

- In what way?

- Is something wrong?

- [Marion] No, nothing's wrong.

- You sounded strange, you're all right?

- Just fine.

- [Raymond] I'm leaving Hartford sooner than I expected.

- You're comin' home?

- [Raymond] No, Boston first remember.

- I miss you terribly.

- But I have to go to Boston.

- [Marion] Why?

- Well you know why, business.

- [Marion] Can't I meet you there.

- No, no of course not.

I'll be busy on appointments.

- [Marion] Please, I won't get in the way, I promise.

It's terrible bein' here all alone.

- But Marion.

- [Marion] All right, sorry I asked.

I'll never ask again, never.

- All right, come ahead.

See what flights there are.

- I know the flights.

I've checked them for three years

just hopin' we could be together

in one of those cities.

- All right darling, bye-bye.

- Bye.

(orchestral music)

Oh, what a wonderful day this has been.

I don't know when I've had such a good time.

- Well I'm glad you enjoyed it, dear.

- Enjoyed it, I'm ecstatic.

All those shops and restaurants.

- The food in any city is good

if you know the right places.

- And you know them.

You know this city as well you do Baltimore.

Oh unzip this, honey.

Well no, stop. - What?

- Let's find one of those all night spots.

There must be one in a city this size.

- Well isn't that a little wild for people like us?

- Old Mr. Puritan, really?

Don't you think a woman of my age

is entitled to be giddy just once

before middle age settles over her?

- Why must I always reassure you my little darling?

Do you think I would have married you

if I hadn't found you so attractive?

- I'm sorry.

I complain too much, way too much.

I'm a chronic grouch.

And you're so good to me.

- It's getting late.

- And you have all those appointments tomorrow.

- But I wanted the time with you.

- Selfish of me.

I didn't give you time to keep any appointments.

- Well I do have one later tonight.

- With whom?

- No one you know.

- Tell me, please tell me.

You know I'm interested in everything you do.

- It's a Mr. Bleeker.

- What a wonderful name.

Bleeker the baker,

or Bleeker the beekeeper,

or Bleeker the booker.

- Why did you say that?

- Baker, or beekeeper, or the booker?

Or booker the baker.

(both laughing)

- You're charming.

It won't take long.

- It always does.

- Mr. Bleeker insisted on seeing me.

He's leaving town in the morning.

- Your wife has been a pest.

- I'll be back in an hour.

- A real pest.

- Maybe less time than that.

- I am goin' back home tonight.

- But that's not necessary.

- Now you just go see your Mr. Bleeker

and don't think a thing about it.

- But wait til morning.

- Then you'll have to take me to the airport.

- [Raymond] I don't mind.

- I can go by myself.

- You're so determined.

- I've had a wonderful day

and a lovely evening, just lovely.

And I know you'll be coming home in a few days.

- That's true.

- You go to your Mr. Bleeker.

- You won't think I'm neglecting you?

- Darling, love, you never neglected me.

And I know I'm becoming

more important in your life every day.

- More than you realize.

(orchestral music)

(door closing)

(crowd buzzing)

- No briefcase to exchange.

We lost in the last race.

- I'm closing up shop for a while anyway.

- But you've been breaking better than even.

- Well I've had some other

rather serious financial reverses.

- You in another business?

- Oh several.

Four to be exact.

- I couldn't understand how a guy like you

could finance a racetrack operation.

- I had partners who had money.

- And you brought the know-how.

- I'd say that's a reasonable definition

of my other business relationships.

- You mean you're out for good?

No more betting at all?

- Well at least not until I can replace

the financial backers I've lost.

- Well, easy come, easy go.

- Well that isn't quite the way it worked in my case.

But I've no time to quibble over definitions.

I'll call you when I'm recapitalized.

(energetic music)

- Who are you?

Are you Mr. Brown?

Is that your wife?

(orchestral music)

(doors opening and closing)

- Marion?

Marion?

Marion!

- You frightened me.

- What do you think you did to me?

- Why did you yell at me like that?

- Well you were lying there so motionless, so still.

- I couldn't sleep last night.

Actually I did go to sleep,

but then I woke up at 4:00 a.m. and I couldn't go back.

I missed you.

So I took a sleeping pill but it didn't seem to work.

And I thought it wouldn't so I got up.

I got dressed, read the newspapers and had breakfast,

a huge breakfast.

Then I stretched out here and

I completely forgot about the sleepin' pill and wham.

What time is it? - 5:30.

- Wonderful, it's exactly the right time.

- You planned something special.

- Just for us.

We can have a cocktail before dinner.

- But I thought you didn't drink.

- I do now.

I thought maybe I been missin' something.

So I forced myself to experiment

with a cocktail here and there these last few days.

- Here and there?

- Lately, I found I enjoyed it.

Oh where's the harm?

A drink now and then never hurt anybody.

Least not me.

I've turned over a new leaf.

- Sounds like you turned over a whole new tree.

- You are delicious.

What will you have an old fashioned, a sour?

You name it.

- You're quite an expert and so quickly.

- I read a book.

- One can find out how to do

so many technical things from books.

- It's a do-it-yourself year.

Now you just sit right there.

Now let me serve you.

- But I want to watch you.

- Let me be a dutiful wife.

- I want to see how good you are at making them.

- You might make me nervous.

I'm not that good.

Now please, just sit back there and let me bring it to you.

Let me show you I can do somethin' efficiently by myself.

(suspenseful music)

(light rattling)

- Honey, where are you?

- Be right there.

- What in the world were you doin' down in the cellar?

- Where's the fuel tank?

- Well I had them take it away.

I hope you like your drink.

- Why?

- Well because it was just a waste of money.

That old one is plenty big enough.

- I thought you wanted me to make that decision.

- Darlin', what difference does it make?

- Why didn't you have 'em fill up the hole?

- I thought they had.

- To leave a gaping thing like that, why?

- To you, my wonderful husband.

- Oh yes, to me.

To you.

- You look upset.

- Not at all, really.

- Somethin' happened on that trip.

- Very uneventful.

Dullest trip I ever took.

- Well then stop actin' like a fugitive from justice.

- Why did you say that?

- Well because you do.

As though the police had you linked with some terrible crime

and they were lookin' for you everywhere.

- Out with it. - Out with what?

- Say it and get it over with.

- You are gettin' to be a jigsaw puzzle darlin'.

And there are more pieces missin'

every time I try to put you together.

- And you have tried your way.

- Because of that job of yours,

travelin' I mean.

That company asks too much

expecting you to cover so much territory.

Now I think you should tell them

that you're going to concentrate on this area, our area.

Don't you think so?

- What for?

- 'Cause I'd love havin' you with me all the time.

- Well what if I don't like it.

- You don't have to like it.

Just accept it.

- Then it's true.

You did it.

All of them.

- Have a drink.

- You killed 'em.

- You afraid to drink yours?

- And you got to Hellen while I was talking to Bleeker.

- I'll drink yours and you drink mine.

- I'll never give in to you.

- Well what if I drink a little of each.

There see,

a marital bond,

a tie of love.

- The police'll find out.

- Well, whatever the police discover,

they'll only find out that you had a motive,

no one else.

Only you.

Just you.

Isn't that true darlin'?

And with a man as irres...

What are you doin'?

(phone clicking)

- Get me the police.

- I'll accuse you.

I'll destroy you.

- My name is Brown, Raymond Brown.

- Raymond Richard Reynold Robert Brown.

- Stop that.

It's a joke, a little joke.

- Four times.

You are a bigamist four times.

Now you can stay alive with me

or be dead away from me.

- One moment please.

The police accepted my explanations.

- Explanation singular.

One murder yes.

Two maybe, three...

- One moment more please.

You wouldn't.

- I will see you executed for murder if you leave me.

- Yes my wife thought that she'd lost something valuable,

but she found it again.

Thank you.

- That's bein' logical.

That makes sense.

Come have a drink.

- I was a happy man.

- An unhappy man,

a very unhappy man.

- Ecstatically happy.

- A dream, a nightmare,

a false happiness.

I will cure you of it.

Now you'll see.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Your job, our life together.

If you decide differently,

anytime you want,

you can change your mind.

- And if I do?

- Well, if not the police there's

always the hole in the cellar.

(dramatic music)

Whatever you want.

It's up to you.

- This idyllic situation was not destined to last.

The police don't like to leave their books unbalanced

for any length of time.

They eventually stumbled onto the puzzle

of Richard's private life

and moved in just in time to save him for themselves.

Richard was not only guilty of simple bigamy.

In his case,

it was more like trigonometry.

He is now in a well-known federal prison.

You see, the law took the position

that he must be punished.

As though having four wives were not punishment enough.

Incidentally,

this turned out not to be the former occupant.

I knew you'd be pleased to know,

it was his wife.

Next week we shall bring you another twisted tale,

scenes of which will be on view in a trice.