Original subtitles

("Alfred Hitchcock" theme music)

- Good evening.

May I check to see if there's something loose

under your bonnet?

I would suggest that you add a quart

before it's too late.

An automobile figures in tonight's play,

which is the story of a man

with an unpleasant job to perform.

One which he did not wish to do.

A situation which I understand perfectly.

But, duty is duty.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first commercial.

(mysterious music)

(lighthearted music)

- What took you so long?

Harney said you'd be on the two o'clock.

I've been hanging around this lousy terminal an hour.

- A gypsy told me never to take a two o'clock bus.

- They didn't tell me you were a comedian, Derry.

- What did they tell you about me?

- Harney's waiting.

Car's across the street.

(dramatic music)

(knocking)

Harney in there?

(mysterious music)

(knocking)

- [Man] Wait a minute.

Who is it?

- It's Earl.

- It's about time you got here.

- It wasn't my fault, Mr. Harney.

He didn't show up until four o'clock.

- What's the idea?

I hire somebody, I expect them to follow orders.

- He's a real wiseguy, Mr. Harney.

A real comedian.

- All right, Earl, shut up.

- I told you we didn't have to go outside

the organization, Mr. Harney.

I could handle it for you.

- I said shut up!

- I hate these family quarrels.

Do we talk business now or do I come back later?

- We talk now.

- Give the kid a quarter and send him to the movies.

- Beat it, Earl.

(door slams)

All right, Derry.

Let's talk.

- My price is three grand for the hit.

I do clean work, I pick my own time and place,

and I keep my clients out of it.

Okay with you?

- Yeah, that's fine with me.

The mark's a guy named Eddie Breech.

- What do you got against him?

- [Harney] Since when is that your business?

- Okay.

- I want to see the seventh race.

- [Announcer] The horses are coming on the track.

January Gal is in first position

with Tommy Harkness up, wearing number...

- Still got about five minutes.

Eddie Breech used to work for me.

Talking about the best slice of territory in the city.

His receipts were like five grand a week.

Only they started to fall.

Four grand one week, two grand the next.

The whole thing smelled bad.

So I took a look into Eddie's activities.

I found out he was making book on his own.

He was setting up his own shop.

- You mean he's a crook?

That makes me feel a lot better.

I don't like crooks.

Do you, Mr. Harney?

- Maybe Earl was right.

You're a comedian, huh?

- We can all use a laugh, can't we?

- I'll laugh.

I'll laugh when Eddie Breech

has dirt in his mouth.

That's what I want, Derry,

and that's what I'm paying you for.

Understand?

(phone rings)

Hello.

Yeah, sure, honey.

No, I didn't forget. (chuckles)

What kind of a father would I be

forgetting my kid's big night?

(laughing)

Yeah?

Yeah?

She really looks cute, eh?

(laughing)

No kidding?

Like a real angel.

With wings and everything?

(laughing)

Look, honey.

I'll leave the office in about half an hour.

Yeah, you go on over to the school

and save us a couple of good seats.

Okay, honey.

Earl will finger Breech for you this afternoon.

See if you can make the job fast,

and see that I'm kept out of it.

That's all, Derry.

(dramatic music)

(snaps)

- Get a good picture?

Well, how about it?

Did you get a good look at Breech?

- Yeah, fine.

How come Breech married a cripple?

- He didn't.

- [Derry] There's no kiddy car they're pushing around.

- The dame was in one piece when he married her.

It was all his fault what happened to her.

They got in an argument one day

and he belted her.

Fell down a flight of stairs

and busted something in her back.

- Oh, he sounds like a real nice guy.

Would be a pleasure to do business with him.

- Yeah, well, don't forget who you're doing it for.

Harney's paying for this job, not the dame.

(dramatic music)

- For her, I'd do it for love.

(cozy jazz music)

(laughing)

- Cheers.

- Excuse me, Mr. Breech.

You're wanted on the telephone.

- Oh.

Why, thank you.

Excuse me, darling.

- Mhm.

- Thank you.

- [Denny] What do you want to play?

- D5.

(romantic music)

- That's an old one.

- I used to dance to it years ago.

(romantic music)

- What's the idea?

- Just what you think it is, pal, and it's loaded.

- Look, I haven't even got five bucks on me.

- What's the matter, Eddie?

They shut down the tracks?

- Harney sent you, huh?

- Three guesses.

- You gonna kill me?

- That's one guess.

Not bad either.

- Look, let's talk a little deal.

I'll pay you twice what he's paying you.

Just tell me how much, just tell me!

- How do you know Harney sent me?

Maybe it was your wife.

- You're crazy.

- Why not?

- You're crazy.

Connie wouldn't do that, she needs me.

- Needs you for what?

To belt her again?

You must be a real brave boy, slugging a woman.

Takes real guts.

- Look, I'm trying to make it up to her.

That's why I needed that dough.

I'd cheat Harney or my own grandmother

if it helped Connie.

- All right, let's hear about it.

How are you helping her?

- What's this to you?

- How are you helping your wife?

This doctor you're taking to her every week,

did he say anything will be done for her?

Well, tell me.

Can anything be done for her?

- No, he never said that.

Spinal column's all busted up.

All he could do is make her comfortable.

Well, don't you think I feel lousy about it?

It was all my fault, but I didn't mean it!

- Maybe she'd be better off without you.

- Maybe she would.

- All right, let's go.

- Where?

- Up to your place, let's go.

(dramatic music)

(lighthearted music)

- Eddie.

- Hi, baby.

I decided not to go downtown,

I ran into an old friend and we got to talking.

- My name is Derry, Mrs. Breech.

Jim Derry.

- Yes.

You were the man in the bar the other evening.

- Sorry to bust in on you like this.

- Well, I'm glad you did, I like to meet Eddie's friends,

we don't entertain very much.

- Nice apartment you got.

- Thank you.

Can I get you a drink?

Eddie says I'm the fastest rolling bartender in town.

- No thanks, I don't drink.

- Not on the job, right, Derry?

- Well, let me get you something.

I'm grateful that you brought Eddie home

from that business of his.

He stays out late so many nights.

I was looking forward to a rather lonely evening.

- I'm sorry baby, you know I had to go out.

- Well, that's all right.

You're home now, darling.

Would you sit down, Mr. Derry?

It isn't often I have a chance

to talk to one of Eddie's friends.

- He's no friend of mine.

I've never met him before in my life.

Why don't you tell her who you work for, Derry?

- At the moment I work for a man named Rupert Harney.

- What do you want from us?

- I want us to sit down and have a talk.

- I'm already sitting down, Mr. Derry.

- Rupert Harney isn't very pleased

with your husband, Mrs. Breech.

He thinks he cheated him.

Cheated him out of a lot of money.

- I'm sure that's not true.

- I didn't cheat him.

I just went into business for myself.

I've got a right to go into business for myself.

- Not with Harney's clientele.

Harney's a bad loser.

He's sore.

And he's not just sore, he's scared.

He's worried that if Eddie gets away with this,

he's going to set a bad precedent,

so he only knows one remedy for the situation.

Tonight, this could've been it.

- He's a professional killer, Connie.

He's come here to kill me.

- No, he hasn't.

You don't look like a stupid man, Mr. Derry.

If you were gonna kill Eddie,

you would have by now.

Why haven't you?

- I'll tell you why he hasn't.

He wants to talk a little deal.

He wants me to pay him for that Harney's paying him.

- You jerk.

Do you think it's that easy?

Do you think Harney will be satisfied

if I let you live?

If I walk off this job, somebody else walks in.

This isn't the only gun in the world.

- He's right, Eddie.

Maybe if he gave the money back.

- Well, how about that, Eddie?

- There's nothing to give back.

Do you think money stands still in this business?

We gotta get out of town, maybe Mexico.

- That's no good.

Harney won't be satisfied that easy,

it means too much to him.

- Well I'm not staying here,

I gotta get away, I tell you.

As far away as--

- Eddie.

- Both of us, baby.

I meant both of us.

Look, you always wanted to go to Mexico.

Remember how you used to talk about it?

- Maybe Mr. Derry can tell us what to do.

- Him?

Why should he, what does he care?

- Don't ask me for any answers.

- But there has to be one.

Look, you'll need one now too, don't you?

If you don't finish your assignment,

Mr. Harney won't like that.

What did you say about him?

What he's sore, he only has one remedy?

He has people murdered.

- Look, don't expect too much from me.

I didn't kill your husband,

what more do you want?

- There has to be more.

Things can't stay the way they are

for either one of you.

All right.

Go ahead, kill him.

You might as well.

He's as good as dead anyway.

- All right, I'll see what I can do.

Give me some time to think about it.

Don't do anything stupid,

and don't leave this apartment.

I'll be in touch as soon as I can.

(dramatic music)

(ominous music)

Well, it won't be easy.

Understand?

But there is a way.

It's the only way I can think of

that will satisfy Harney.

He's not gonna settle for a disappearance,

he's gonna want a body.

- How's that possible?

- Well, it's gonna take a little doing,

but I think I can swing it.

There's gonna be some expenses.

- What kind of expenses?

- $1,000 in cash and your car.

There will be some other things later on.

I want you to get some standby reservations.

Mexico, Rio, any place you want.

And don't leave this apartment

under any conditions.

- I gotta go out.

I got business.

- You can't risk it.

Harney hired me to take care of you,

but that doesn't mean some other hood

wouldn't try to beat me to it.

There's a kid named Earl.

- Yeah, yeah, I know Earl.

He's a punk.

- Just the kind of punk

that might try shooting you in the back.

- Do as he says, Eddie.

- But I gotta go out.

We'll need dough if we're gonna head toward Mexico.

I have to make collections.

- Couldn't you get him a gun?

To protect himself?

- I never carry one.

- [Connie] Just 'til we leave town.

- I'll see what I can do.

(melancholic music)

I'll call you.

- Mr. Derry.

Why are you doing this for Eddie?

- 'Cause he's such a regular fella.

- Figaro Mortuary.

- Fig.

How's business these days?

Kinda dead?

- [Figaro] Very funny, who is this comedian?

- This is Jim, Fig.

Jim Derry.

- What are you doing back in town?

You haven't been around here for 10 years.

- I'm here on business, strictly business.

I want to make a purchase.

- [Joe] What kind of a purchase?

- You're the only store in town

that has what I want.

I want to buy a corpse.

(dramatic music)

- You have now reached the middle of our program.

If you are considering quitting,

I must tell you that it will take you

just as long to go back to where you came in

as it will to continue to the end.

So you might as well go ahead

after this word from your local station.

(dramatic music)

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

- [Joe] Derry?

- Yeah.

- This is Joe Figaro.

I may have rocks in my head for doing it,

but I got what you want.

- [Jim] That's great.

Did you find me the right size?

- He's about six feet, weighs 160.

Heart case.

He's got a mustache, you want me to shave it off?

- Doesn't matter.

What time can I take delivery?

- [Joe] Tonight, around 11.

- All right, fine.

I'll bring my car around the back of the place around 11.

(buzzer rings)

- Who is it?

- [Jim] It's me, Jim Derry.

- Come on in, the door's open.

Eddie's not here.

- I thought I told him not to leave the apartment.

- He had to go out, he had to get some money.

- You want me to come back later?

- No.

It's wonderful, how many people owe Eddie money.

He's almost like a banker.

- I thought he was just a bookie.

- Oh, he hates that work, bookie.

Whenever he sees his mother,

he tells her he's an accountant.

She's a sweet old lady, she knows the truth

but she never lets on.

- How about you?

You know the truth?

- I've never had any illusions about Eddie.

Maybe when I was first married.

Easy to have illusions when you're first married

and you have a young, straight spine.

Want a drink?

You don't drink.

- No thanks.

- Yeah, I guess that's essential

in your line of work.

Not in mine.

- Does he leave you alone a lot?

That banker husband of yours.

Does he leave you alone a lot?

- Oh, Eddie's a very busy man.

He doesn't keep normal hours like other people.

I don't suppose you do either, hm?

- We're talking about Eddie.

- You know, you're awful curious about him.

Why?

You trying to decide whether he's worth saving or not?

- I've already decided that, haven't I?

- You know about Eddie and me?

About the accident?

- I heard some.

- It was all his fault.

- Something like that.

- Yeah, well.

He had been working late the night that it happened.

I waited up for him.

I was already at the top of the stairs,

already with an argument.

Said some pretty nasty things.

So did he.

He grabbed me and started shaking me.

I lost my balance.

Don't think he hasn't suffered for it,

he's done everything he could

to make it up for me,

he just can't change me, that's all.

They still look pretty good, don't they?

I used to be rather proud of them.

I have my own theory, Mr. Derry,

about why you're helping us.

- You do?

- I've been this way for over a year now.

I've become an expert at pity.

I can spot pity a mile away.

- You think that's my reason, huh?

- It's everybody's reason.

That's all anybody gives me these days,

that's all they have to give me.

- You're wrong about me.

I got nothing to do with pity.

It's out of my line.

- Yeah. (laughs)

Yeah, I guess it would have to be in your profession.

(chuckling)

Is that pay good?

- Not bad.

- [Connie] Find your work satisfying?

- I never hurt anybody that didn't deserve it.

(chuckling)

- You do make moral judgments.

You think before you kill, huh?

(chuckling)

- Maybe I better go.

- Oh.

No, I didn't mean what I said, don't go.

- Sorry I'm late, baby.

All right, what's happening?

- It's all set.

You'll be a dead man by tomorrow morning.

You're gonna leave town as soon as you get a plane.

- There's a plane leaving for Mexico City

at 4:00 tomorrow afternoon.

We've got standby reservations.

- You better confirm them.

- What's this gonna cost me, what you're doing?

- Like I told you, $1000 in cash.

$500 for me, $500 for a friend.

- And what do you want with my car of mine?

- You won't need it in Mexico, they got donkeys.

- How do I know you're on the level?

- Eddie, we've gotta trust him.

- If you don't like my proposition,

you can take your chances with Harney.

- All right, what else do you want?

- I'll need your wallet, your watch,

any other jewelry you carry.

That wedding ring, is that inscribed?

- Yeah.

- Let's have it.

Eddie and Connie, September 10th, 1959.

Good.

- What about the body?

- That's my worry.

I'm sorry about the ring, Mrs. Breech,

but we've got to make this look good.

And I want you to get out of town

as fast as you can.

When that body is found,

you're supposed to be it.

I don't want you hanging around

making me out a liar.

(chuckling)

- That's right.

You don't want to lose that dough, do ya?

The money Harney's paying you.

- [Connie] Eddie.

- I got that gun you wanted.

You know how to handle one of these?

- I can handle it.

It's a Farington .38.

There are four bullets in the cylinder.

I'll take that grand now, Eddie.

And the car keys.

- Hello, Mr. Derry.

I've been waiting for you.

- Sorry I can't invite you in, Earl.

The place is such a mess,

you know how it is.

- This ain't a social call.

Now, Mr. Harney wanted me to give you a message.

- Yeah?

- Mr. Harney ain't too happy

with the way things are going.

Mr. Harney said he sort of expected

a little more action by now.

- You go tell Mr. Harney to read the contract again.

I pick my own time and place,

it says so right in the small print.

- I thought you were supposed to be a pro.

I could've had Eddie Breech knocked off

and buried days ago.

- I'm sure you could.

- I don't know why Harney had to go and get you three grand.

Whew.

I would've done it for half that money.

- You would've done it for laughs, Earl.

- Yeah, maybe I would.

- Go on home, Earl, I'm tired.

- You know...

I had to show Mr. Harney he didn't need you.

I had to go take care of Eddie Breech myself.

- Mr. Harney wouldn't like that.

You're liable to get a spanking.

- You're pretty fresh, you know that?

What makes you so special?

I got as much hardware as you.

See what I mean?

- Have you ever fired that thing, Earl?

- You think I don't know how?

(suspenseful music)

- Ow!

- Pick it up.

Now go home.

- Here's the merchandise, Derry.

He's all dressed.

- Well, he's not very pretty.

- You didn't give me any time

to do cosmetic work.

Besides, what's the difference?

- You're right, Fig.

For this guy, it makes no difference at all.

(dramatic music)

All right, come on, let's get him outside.

(dramatic music)

(explosion booms)

(lighthearted music)

- Don't they teach you to knock?

- What's the matter, Mr. Harney?

You look like a man with problems.

- Look, I'll call you back.

Cops just picked up Earl on an old assault charge.

That kid's more trouble than he's worth.

- I could've told you that long ago.

Well, there's one problem you won't have anymore.

- You mean Eddie Breech?

- [Jim] You won't be hearing from him again.

- Give me the details.

- He's dead.

It's what you wanted, isn't it?

- [Harney] I want to know how.

- Well, I had Breech drive me out in the country

out to Potter Valley Road in his car.

After I took care of him,

I gave him and the car a little gasoline bath.

After that, it was easy.

- You burned him.

- Too bad, it was a nice car.

I hate to ruin a good car.

- What did you do after that?

- Took a long walk.

There's a motel about an hour and a half south,

I spent the night there.

- And you're sure it went all right?

Nobody spotted you?

- Our work is guaranteed, Mr. Harney.

Money back if not satisfied.

Speaking of money.

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

(dramatic music)

- Is your name James Derry?

- Yeah, that's right.

- I got a warrant for your arrest.

- Me?

Look, you're making an mistake.

- Over here, Derry.

Hands against the car, you know the routine.

Start the engine.

(car engine revs)

Get a load of this.

Must be payday.

You must be a pretty expensive man, Derry.

- I sold a car for a guy.

A second hands sports job,

that's the money I got for it.

- Yeah, sure.

And I'll bet you got a copy

of the bill of sale too, haven't you?

Put your hands behind your back.

(door slams)

- You're Jim Derry.

- That's right.

- My name's Lieutenant Geer.

- How are you?

- Did you ever use an alias, Jimmy?

- No, why should I?

- Know a fella named Rupert Harney?

- [Jim] Yeah, I met him once or twice.

- What'd you talk about?

- The weather.

- Don't get fresh me with, Derry,

I don't like it.

- We talked about horses.

Mr. Harney likes horses a lot.

- Yeah, we know about that.

Oh, we also know that he paid your way into town

about a week ago, isn't that right?

- I can afford my own car fare.

- He brought you here to do

a special piece of work for him.

See, Derry, there isn't a great deal

we don't know about Rupert Harney.

Oh, for your information, the DA's office

has been lining up a case against him

for the last six months.

Just your hard luck to come into the picture right now.

- I don't know what you're talking about, Lieutenant.

- Well, maybe I can refresh your memory for you.

Now I'm gonna play you a little something,

and I want you to listen to it very, very carefully.

- [Earl] This guy Derry arrived last Friday.

He was brought in by Harney to knock off

a guy named Eddie Breech.

Breech once worked for Harney,

but then he got to taking bets on his own book.

(coughing)

Excuse me.

Well, anyway, that made Harney sore,

so he decides to kill him, you know?

Derry's price for the job was three grand.

Oh yeah, Derry's staying a hotel called Gracy.

Harney didn't know how

he'd planned to kill Eddie Breech, but...

- Now, how's that?

That's pretty accurate, isn't it?

- That's a lot of junk,

they shouldn't make up junk like that.

- Oh, what'd you say?

- I said it's a lot of junk.

- It was part of a statement we got last night.

Statement made by a fella that knows

both you and Harney.

You know who I'm talking about, don't you?

- I don't know anything you're saying.

(door slams)

- His name's Earl Clifford.

Now we picked up Earl, oh, on an old charge

that could bring him maybe 20 years in prison.

Now, Earl has turned state's evidence

in hopes of getting a lighter sentence.

You know Earl, don't you?

- Never heard of him.

- Aw, come on, Derry.

Help yourself, tell us the truth.

- I'm telling you the truth.

What more do you want?

- Oh, we both know you killed Eddie.

I just want a nice, clean statement

telling me why, and for whom.

- What time you got, Lieutenant?

- It's almost 4:00.

- That's what I got too.

What's the weather like out?

- Warm and sunny.

- Nice flying weather, huh?

- [Geer] Yeah, I'd say so.

- All right, Lieutenant,

I'll tell you what you want to know.

- Good.

- What's the chance of getting a cup of coffee?

- Help yourself.

- Sure, I was hired to kill Breech.

This guy Rupert Harney sent for me,

gave me the contract.

I don't know why he picked me,

I never did any work like that before.

- Oh, thanks, Jimmy.

- So I went to see Harney,

he told me the whole setup.

Seems this guy Eddie Breech had been cheating on him,

he wanted him taken care of.

I said I'd do it.

Of course I didn't mean it.

I'm no killer, Lieutenant.

Look at my police record,

you won't find any convictions for murder.

- No, no convictions.

- Not me.

I went straight to this guy Breech

and told him the whole story.

Him and his wife.

She's a cripple, in a wheelchair.

Well, I felt sorry for her,

felt sorry for both of them.

I told him that I wouldn't do him any harm,

but that didn't mean they were safe.

Harney would just get somebody else

to take care of them.

- Oh gee, that was nice of you.

- Well, like I said, I wanted to help them.

I told him the only thing to do

is to make it look like Breech had been killed.

I said I'd arrange the whole thing.

- And that's what you did?

- That's what I did.

I got a body.

A dead body.

From an undertaking parlor I know.

I put the body in Breech's car,

drove out on Route Six.

Took a little turnoff into Potter Valley Road,

make it look like the car had cracked up.

I doused it with gasoline, set fire to it.

You'll find Breech's watch and ring on the body.

Maybe his wallet too, what's left of it.

Only the body won't be Breech.

It's the whole story, Lieutenant.

Send your boys out to Potter Valley Road.

- Oh, we don't have to,

we already found Breech's car.

Oh, now you did all this

because you felt so sorry for him,

isn't that right?

- Yeah, that's right.

He hurt his wife, made her a cripple.

Only now he wanted to help her.

That's the reason he was cheating on Harney,

he wanted to get money to help his wife.

I might've done the same thing.

- Gee, you sure make it sound like Eddie

was one sweet guy.

Too bad it isn't true.

- What do you mean?

- Well, Eddie was responsible

for his wife's injury, all right.

He knocked her down the stairs one night.

You know why?

- Oh yeah, some kind of argument.

- Oh, they sure did have an argument.

She caught him with another woman,

a gal named Louise something or other.

And if you think he gave her up

after that happened, you're nuts.

He went right on cheating on his wife.

And the fact that she had to stay in a wheelchair

just made it easier.

But the worst part of it is that she knew.

She knew, and there was nothing she could do about it.

She knew and she had to sit there

in that wheelchair and take it.

She knew, Jimmy.

And she had to sit in that wheelchair

and let him do anything he pleased.

Now that was your friend, Eddie Breech.

- Well, she said she had no illusions about him.

- [Geer] Oh, she knew everything he was.

- All the time she was hating him, hating his guts.

Well anyway, they're gone.

They're on their way to Mexico City.

- Oh no, they're not.

- They took the 4:00 plane to Mexico City.

- Oh, you're such a liar, Jimmy.

You tell a very touching story,

but you're a terrible liar.

Now I'll buy the fact that you made

some kind of deal with Breech,

and he was gonna give you a bunch of money

and you were gonna fake an accident for him.

But all that time, you were planning to collect

from both parties, weren't you?

- That's a lie, I was trying to help him.

- Oh, were you?

Eddie Breech, 29, male, Caucasian.

Found shot to death in his apartment,

at 704 E. 73rd Street.

The bullets came from a Farington .38 found at the scene.

Now, we traced that gun to the guy

that sold it to you, Jimmy,

and he can describe you to a T.

And that's why you've got your $3,000 from Rupert Harney.

For doing the job you were imported to do.

- Quit bluffing, Lieutenant.

Breech took that plane, he's on the plane.

- Eddie Breech is in the morgue,

right where you put him.

- You're crazy!

Check the plane to Mexico City

if you don't believe me.

- Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

All right, Sam.

Now, Mrs. Breech, I hate to do this to you,

but would you please repeat what you told me?

It's necessary.

- It was about 7:30 when the doorbell rang,

and my husband answered the door.

I was in the bedroom.

I didn't think anything of it 'cause

Eddie was having visitors all the time.

Then I heard the shots.

Two of them.

I opened the bedroom door, and he was standing there

with a gun in his hand.

I screamed.

He just dropped the gun, and he ran out.

- That's all right, thank you, Mrs. Breech.

That's all I need.

I said that's all I need, thank you very much.

Sam.

(dramatic music)

You should've killed her too, Jimmy.

That's where you made your mistake.

You shouldn't have of been so soft-hearted.

- You're right about that, Lieutenant.

(dramatic music)

- The moral of tonight's story is of course,

never underestimate the power of a woman.

Then again, perhaps it's simply shoot first,

ask questions later.

In any case, I'm certain you are better

for having watched.

Personally, I enjoyed seeing a hired killer

getting the worst of it.

For in this particular field,

I'm an ardent advocate of do it yourself.

Unfortunately, the police took a more stuffy view of events,

and Constance is now at a woman's honor farm

where she scurries about in her wheelchair

arousing pity and riding roughshod over her fellow inmates.

The next item on the agenda consists of scenes

of our coming attraction.

The first scene may appear to be a commercial,

and if I know my sponsor, it will be.